Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• It is being reported that 11 extras have been injured while filming the new Tom Cruise movie, Valkyrie.  During a scene, the 11 German extras were riding in the back of a truck when a wood panel gave way causing them to tumble out.  None of the people were seriously hurt.  That being said, those Germans were lucky because, as we’ve said here TIME AND AGAIN, if you [EXPLETIVE DELETED] with Tom Cruise – like Germany tried to do a few months ago – Lord Xenu will take his mighty fist and [EXPLETIVE DELETED] you with it.  Sure, he’ll make you think everything is all cool, but right when you least expect it, he’ll swat your ass and knock it out the back of a [EXPLETIVE DELETED] truck.

• It appears that a gun, once owned by the Evil Presley, was stolen from the Elvis After Dark museum. The theft apparently occurred as thousands of loony, mostly over-weight people descended on Memphis to “celebrate” the 30th anniversary of the death of the late pedo… er, singer. Authorities are concerned that the perpetrators will use the gun the same way that Elvis did back in the 50’s… to steal “black” music.

• Senator Patrick Leahy, D-VT., has a role in the next Batman film. Leahy says he is a life-long fan of Batman and will donate his pay from the film to charity. Hoping to capitalize on his role, Leahy introduced legislation into congress asking for $3 billion to build a replica bat-cave under the Senate.

• Actor Bill Murray was arrested in Sweden for drunk driving. Murray was picked up while driving a golf cart down a street in Stockholm, Sweden. Murray said he was sorry for the error in his judgment and stated that he got “a little carried away” celebrating the fact that he wasn’t Chevy Chase.

• NBC is getting set to bring back the sports themed television classic American Gladiators.  The show, which features regular people going up against muscle bound athletes in various physical competitions, originally ran from 1989 to 1996.  The new show will feature a lot of the same physical challenges, but with updated technology and new twists.  Viewers can also expect to see some of their favorite Gladiators like Nitro and Turbo re-imagined, as well as new combatants The Cream, The Clear, Shrunken Balls and Roid Rage.

• A new Justice League movie is being planned – but without the involvement of the current Batman and Superman actors. Christian Bale and Brandon Routh (Batman and Superman, respectively) have not been signed on to star in the film. While casting has yet to be confirmed for any of the characters, QSE News has learned that Adam West has been hitting the gym to get in shape for a “New, yet familiar, role.”

• Fox has announced that it has canceled its new reality show Anchorwoman after only one airing. The unscripted show followed former World Wrestling Entertainment Diva Lauren Jones and her attempt to become a newscaster in Texas.  Jones released a statement to the press saying that the network didn’t give the show a chance and that she would “crush those puny Fox executives the way they crushed her dream of being a respected journalist who just happens to have killer cans and can do an Inverted Frog Splash off of the top rope. OHHHH YEAHHH!”

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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