Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• A Nebraskan micro-brewery is naming a beer in honor of Larry the Cable Guy. The beer will be named Git-R-Done. According to the micro-brew’s owner, the beer will taste like racism and stupidity.

• In preparation for the release of its new album, the Smashing Pumpkins have announced plans for a fall tour.  Kicking off in Montreal on September 8th, the tour will run through November and hit many major US cities.  The tour has been affectionately called the “[EXPLETIVE DELETED] James and D’arcy World Tour.”

• The film Transformers recorded the biggest Tuesday opening in history, raking in more than $27 million. The film, based on a popular line of toys, was directed by Michael Bay. Producers are pleased with the success of the film and are now looking forward to a sequel, saying, “maybe next time we’ll have money for a plot.”

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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