Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• Alternative Rock heroes The Jesus and Mary Chain may be headed back to the recording studio for the first time since 1998. Band members were overheard discussing the possible studio time at this past weekend’s Coachella Music Festival. The band is reportedly sick of doing “low grade junk” and are hoping to sell enough new albums to get back to “the real knock you off your ass for 2 months [EXPLETIVE DELETED].”

• Rapper Busta Rhymes was arrested in New York yesterday morning for drunk driving. Rhymes was not available for comment at press time, but his agent released a statement that read “Busta was not drunk on alcohol but instead was drunk on love… love for America, puppy dogs, apple pie, baseball, God and the children of this world that deserve love.”

• Oliver Stone has directed a new commercial challenging the current Bush administration to bring the American troops home. The commercials will feature an Iraq War veteran and was produced by MoveOn.org. The commercial will be four and half hours long.

• A new video making the rounds on the internet shows a drunken David Hasselhoff being chastised by his 16-year-old daughter.  In the video, Hasselhoff is sitting on the floor of his Las Vegas home while his daughter, Taylor, tells him “You’re throwing your life away.”  We here at QSE News wish David all the help in the world, but would also like to point out that drinking won’t make you forget what you stuck in KITT’s tailpipe.

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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