Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• Author Chuck Palahniuk has announced that a movie based on his novel Choke will begin production next month.  Having been in development for years with several writers and directors attached, the version of the book that will be made was written and will be directed by Clark Gregg.  Contrary to popular belief, Choke tells the story of a man who pretends to choke to swindle rich people out of money, and is not a biography of former INXS front man Michael Hutchence.

• Mascara clad bands My Chemical Romance and Panic! At The Disco will be providing songs for an upcoming Smashing Pumpkins tribute CD. Other bands tapped to donate song include The New Amsterdams and (+44). When asked for comment, Pumpkins’ Billy Corgan said “I guess it’s fitting that My Chemical Romance and that Panic! At the whatever are recording some of my songs since they’ve stolen everything else I’ve ever tried to do.”

• Actress and sexpot Keira Knightly has claimed that she felt devastated after rumors began circulating that she was anorexic.  Knightly, who is best known for being hot and from her role in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, has long been the subject of eating disorder rumors.  Knightly claimed that when the news hit she was “so depressed, she couldn’t bring herself to eat a thing.”

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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