DURHAM – The truth comes at you hard and heavy during the Full Frame Documentary Film Festival. After four days, it’s hard to adjust to faked entertainment. I might have to watch Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels to transition from real to scripted.
The major difference between a documentary and Indie film festival is a complete lack of ponytails. Unlike the Indie film directors that must be the center of attention, the documentarian is a quiet sort of person. They silently observe in order to capture the reality of their subject. This is what it must be like at a Marine sniper convention.
Full Frame is a festival for people who want to see movies and not chatter about the latest hot deals. Seeing how this is Durham, there’s no visit from Paris Hilton, Eddie Murphy and Mariah Carey searching for swag bags on Ninth Street. Nobody hits the slopes of Chapel Hill during the day. It’s all about movies and a few panels. And you have to pick carefully since they show five different films at once and the only ones that get a second play are the award winners.
This year’s festival did feature quite a few no-shows. The big disappointment was Larry Flynt canceling his personal appearance to promote Larry Flynt: The Right to be Left Alone. He caught a cold and couldn’t travel. The Party Favors was supposed to have an interview with him. Sorry folks, but I didn’t get to ask him about helping Courtney Love get into character.
Scorsese was preparing for Cannes, although he did write the introduction to a screening of Harvest 3000 Years. Albert Maysles, who seemed to always show up, wasn’t hanging out by the water fountain. And Sheila Nevins of HBO didn’t make it down for her panel discussion. I was hoping to pitch her a documentary on Isabella Soprano’s fetish career called Isabella Underwraps. Damn it!
Mystery writer Walter Mosley presented a special screening of Leonard Cohen: I’m Your Man. I’m not too big of a fan of the film since I want a definitive documentary about Leonard and not merely a tribute concert strung together with an interview. Mosley’s notes to the film point out that he doesn’t like Cohen. “He seemed aloof and bitter to me. There was an arrogance to his demeanor,” wrote Mosely. I’ve never felt this way about Cohen. The day that I spoke with Cohen, he was like that distant uncle that you only met at your grandfather’s funeral. We would never be constant kin, but he made sure that in that moment, we would feel related. Another person that gave off that feeling was Kurt Vonnegut. In 1989, I was his tour guide when he came to speak at NC State. For two days I was by his side. He even drew an asshole when he signed my copy of Bluebeard. A nice moment was getting to introduce him to my mother – since it was my mother’s copy of Breakfast of Champions that got me started in reading his novels. He passed away the day before the festival. I removed his obit from an abandoned New York Times in the press room. Luckily we still have Leonard with us – he won’t be able to die till he sorts out his money issues.
Before the screening, I asked Mosely if he had seen Leonard performing “Who By Fire” with Sonny Rollins. He hadn’t. This is a shame. If you’re going to talk about a musician to a crowd, you should hunt down one of their glorious moments. Tthe song from David Sanborn’s old NBC show is on Youtube. Leonard had fond memories of the performance. As a viewer, it’s a religious experience and better than anything in the film – except for the part with Anthony covering “If It Be Your Will.” How come they don’t have Leonard Cohen night on American Idol or is that part of Canadian Idol? Does French Idol force those kiddies to bust out the Serge Gainsbourg songbook?
The best documentary I saw at the festival was The Dentist From New Jersey, a short 22 minute piece about a dentist from New Jersey. Luckily filmmaker John Knapich didn’t focus on Simon Leventhal’s root canal work. Instead this film illustrates Simon’s photography. His favorite subject was the World Trade Center towers. For decades, he would take photographs of the Twin Towers from across the river. He’d go down nearly three times a week. Whenever the sky looked interesting, he’d drive over to capture the moment. His photos brought out the beauty and gave a personality to those huge buildings that we lost six years ago. You can find out if a smart cable channel picks up the film by visiting Dentistfromnj.blogspot.com.
Tony Kaye’s Lake of Fire is an unflinching journey into the abortion debate. He gives each side proper time to make their arguments. He also spends a lot of time exploring the men who killed abortionists. The film’s big finale follows a woman into a clinic and shows us the whole procedure. Luckily the film is in black and white because if there was color, probably half of the audience would have bolted the theater. While it was impressive in its scope and exploration, Kaye’s camerawork is way too professional. He frames and lights people as if they were in his commercial campaigns. There were a few moments that felt recreated (such as a protest in front of an LA clinic), but it might just be his talent overwhelmed the reality. Tony didn’t show up so there was no chance to ask about his techniques.
The Last Days of Yasser Arafat dealt with Sherine Salama camping out at the devastated presidential compound in an attempt to land an on-camera interview with the terrorist turned leader of Palestine. She spent nearly a year working every angle to finally get into Arafat’s office to ask a few People Magazine style questions. What makes this film essential viewing is a sense of the space that the leader was confined inside. You get really familiar with the compound. I can direct you to the bathrooms. Plus there’s incredible footage of Arafat’s farewell and his body’s return. This is a “You Are There” documentary.
Tootie’s Last Suit features the colorful tribes that are part of Mardi Gras. While I knew how much work went into those intricate suits, I didn’t know that they made new suits each year. A few of the folks from the film showed up to demonstrate their drums and dancing. After the performance I briefly chatted with them. The word from New Orleans isn’t too promising. Seems like the money for rebuilding flowed quickly for the Superdome, the Hornets and convention center action. But where people actually live, there’s still trailer parks within the devastation. The rents have tripled. The folks who used to work in the convention business can no longer afford to live near New Orleans. None of the guys could see New Orleans returning to normal within the decade. They also saw the Urban Land Institute as a front for vulture land developers who care little for the real people of a city.
Because of a scheduling conflict, I missed out on Crazy Love. Dan Klores and Fisher Stevens (yup, it’s Ben Jabituya from Short Circuit) directed this movie about a lawyer’s longtime mistress. Magnolia films will have this out in June. I was hoping the film would win an award so I could catch the repeat. But the major honors went to The Monastery and War/Dance.
Even though I couldn’t see everything, you didn’t hear people bad mouthing films that they saw. People were frustrated at having to make a choice, but people enjoyed praising the films. Once again the folks at Full Frame have proven they’re at the top of the documentary film festival circuit. Judging from my talk with a guy who acquires films for Netflix’s Red Envelope division, a lot of the films shown will be available for your queue within a year.
HOW MUCH?
During a panel discussion on making money in documentary films, a really disturbing fact came to light. When they were editing The Comedians of Comedy, there was a moment where Brian Posehn’s cellphone went off. The ringtone was Missy Elliott’s “Get Your Freak On.” When they tried to get clearance to use the short ringtone, they were quoted the price of $50,000.
What?
Now you can understand why songs are being yanked off TV show boxsets. A few seconds of a ringtone probably cost more than the entire project. The filmmakers decided to just snip away the moment rather than pay the ransom.
BROKEN SPOOKS
The Ghost Busters have finally come to DVD. Not the Bill Murray movie. But the original Ghost Busters featuring Larry Storch, Forrest Tucker and Tracy the Gorilla. BCI has put all 15 episodes of the series on 2 DVDs.
The show aired on Saturdays in 1975. Unlike most memories of ’70s kid shows, my remembrance does not involve a groggy head, a bowl of Crunch Berries and shag carpeting. The Ghost Busters didn’t air until nearly noon. Seems like I watched this show while waiting for my turn at the Ft. Bragg barbershop. A crummy TV set perched next to those jars of blue goo soaking combs had the trio racing through the various doors in a haunted house. Tracy the Gorilla was a good distraction from the buzzcut butchery to come. Watching these episodes gave me flashbacks of barbers running that buzzer around my ears. Ouch!
The show was like a haiku in narrative structure with its limited sets. On a soundstage they had the Busters’ office, a cemetery and the main hall of a haunted house. They used an exterior location for the store where they played off Mission: Impossible‘s tape recorded mission moment. Except this time the tapes were more comical when they self-destructed.
Tucker and Storch are comic gold as they hunt down the ghosts and monsters that have taken refuge in the haunted house. No matter how cornball the scripts got, the duo still crack me up. They brought their F Troop magic to this low budget Filmation series. The second (and final) season of F Troop comes out May 29. The guest ghosts include Billy Barty, Bernie Kopell, Ted Knight, Lenny Weinrib (the man inside H.R. Pufnstuf) and Howard Morris (Ernest T. Bass from The Andy Griffith Show).
There’s a few bonus features including an interview with Bob Burns, the “trainer” to Tracy. He shares great stories about working with Storch and Tucker. Also they have the old commercial break bumpers. They threw in the first episode of the animated version of the series which came out after Bill Murray’s Ghostbusters became a sensation.
Deepdiscount has the set going for $16.46. It’s the perfect show to watch while detoxing on a Saturday afternoon. Just don’t sneak behind me with a pair of electric clippers. I don’t want to have an army haircut flashback.
BIGGEST SKANK
What exactly is that lucky gal winning on Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll? They beef up this act as an American version of The Spice Girls. But besides lead singer Nicole Scherzinger, the other five “members” seem more like Janet Jackson’s back up dancers. They don’t even come close to the aura of Sporty Spice. The other five dolls don’t even rate a last name. What sort of prize involves you losing your last name?
How do the other five non-surname dolls feel knowing that they’re a reality show away from getting their jiggling asses booted off the road?
Why do they bother forcing the contestants to sing on key? Are we supposed to believe that the real Pussycat Dolls don’t have Autotune patched into their microphones? All that really matters is that you look skanky enough when slapping your ass during the chorus.
What sort of commitment does Nicole have to the Pussycat Doll organization? She’s pretty much as good as a solo artist. Do they have a Simon Fuller contract binding her to PCD until McNamara/Troy can’t keep her looking 24?
Do the losing performers get recruited for Vivid Video’s How Bad Do You Want to Stay In Hollywood, Little Girl? reality show? Not like those failed Dolls don’t have the wardrobe and heels to win Best Newcomer at the AVNs.
The only gig in music that could give you even more anonymous career than being the seventh Pussycat Doll is The Search for the New Banana Splits. You think you can slide inside Bingo’s fur?
It was an anti-climax when the winning girl got to “perform” with the Pussycat Dolls since she just faded into the rest of the one name girls while Nicole dominated the performance. This would be like the winner of American Idol being forced to mow Simon’s lawn. At least she can feel like a winner while staring at Nicole’s ass.
HE’S DEAD, JIM
What’s the point of the Pulitzer Prize Putzs honoring John Coltrane? He gets a citation for his “masterful improvisation.” Wow. Talk about a risky honor since Coltrane has been dead for nearly 40 years. Last year would have been way too soon to give Coltrane a Pulitzer. That award might have gone straight to his head.
This seems to be another way that the creepy Pulitzer folks want to rewrite their history. Now Coltrane’s bio will talk about him getting a Pulitzer even though the judges didn’t give a crap about his “masterful improvisation” when he was breathing oxygen into his sax.
Maybe next year they can give an award to William Shakespeare. Do you think he’s more than a flash in the pan, Pulitzer Prizers? You can give him a citation for inspiring so many great movies like Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot and Fantastic Four (both are based off Hamlet). How about Plato or is he still iffy?
WHAT’D I SAY?
Here’s what I don’t get about the whole Don Imus ugliness; how exactly did people know what he said? Imus sounds like a stroke victim choking on marbles. Isn’t there a chance he really said, “Nibblets Flavored Oreos?” Which would still probably be a nasty thing to call people.
The worst thing he did was go on Al Sharpton’s radio show. What’s the point of trying to give an extended apology to people who want you fired? The slightest word will be received as a slight. He got nailed when he said, “You people” to Al and a Congresswoman. My father used to yell that at the family when we weren’t ready to get in the car. Does this mean my dad was racial bashing us? When will Al Sharpton picket in front of my dad’s house? I want justice and face time on Larry King!
If you want to make fast money, sell pitchforks and torches with the Fox News logo. This is a growth industry as each week we find a new celebrity to chase based on their faux pas. Remember when you had to spew about an hour’s worth of hatred before people really suspected you had improper thoughts?
And Alec Baldwin needs to take a few lessons from my father about how to explode on the phone.
SHEPPING IT
Anyone else distracted by the new graphics on Studio B with Shepard Smith on Fox News? They have this rotating gold circle with a purple “B” inside. It looks like Shep is hosting the Kobe Bryant show. Is this part of Fox News’ way to attract a demographic that is dazzled by shiny spinning objects?
DUMP THE NAME
As CourtTV announces that it’ll be rebranded shortly, what exactly is keeping MSNBC’s moniker? If that channel really expects to get old people to flip over, they need to trash the link to Bill Gates. First off, it takes too damn long to say. CNN and Fox News fling out of your mouth like a bullet. MSNBC is like a test word the doctor gives to see if your tongue works properly. It sounds like you only tune in to find out the latest glitch in your Windows Vista. The MS does very little for me. Give it back to Gloria Steinem. What is holding up the boys in marketing from giving this news channel a real name. How about NBC Newz. The “z” will give it the youth appeal lacking from CNN and Fox News. Even calling it Peacock News would be an upgrade.
Why does ESPN Deportes give us updates on ESPN with Spanish speaking commentators speaking extra fast in English? I can’t understand what they are saying. Just say it in Spanish and give me subtitles. It’s as bad dealing with the call center folks in India. Why do American corporations keep hiring non-English speaking people to deal with those of us who speak English? It’s bad enough that I’m trying to hear over a phone line that’s going halfway around the world. But then I have translate through an accent that has no business speaking to me in a conversation that shouldn’t go beyond me pointing at items. Why is Dell turning me into Archie Bunker? Why does Travelocity want me to hate Indians? If press 1 to continue my call in English, I want to be able to use conversational English instead of translator skills. It’s called Customer Service. Service me, Citibank!
LOST IN TRANSLATION 2
I’m not against people who don’t speak English as a primary language. Indeed my recent gig involved being the local support for a Japanese video crew. It was like a reverse Bill Murray moment as I stood a head taller than my employers. The nice part was that the director and the cameraman spoke exclusively in Japanese. This allowed me to just sit back and watch. There was zero chance of me making any suggestions unless directly addressed in English. It’s a good feeling to know that I can’t help them until they ask.
During my chats with them I discovered that Takeshi’s Castle, the series that’s redubbed as Most Extreme Elimination Challenge on Spike TV is 20 years old. Did I feel like a dork asking if the show was still on. It would have been like them asking me about new episodes of A Team or Manimal. But it did lead to interesting talks about Takeshi “Beat” Kitano – called Vic Romano on MXC.
They were impressed that my favorite Japanese baseball team was The Nippon Ham Fighters (current Japan Series Champs). How can you not root for a team that understands that pork products must be beaten down before they take over the world?
The best part of the trip was taking my six Japanese pals to Raleigh’s premiere dining establishment, The Underground. They covered our table with plates. Chef Daniel Taylor’s crispy softshell crab benedict was a transpacific success story. I can’t speak five words of Japanese, but the international language for a great meal is silence punctuated by chewing, slurping and pleasant moans.
While giving the crew a tour of Raleigh, they were amazed by our giant acorn statue. If you ever come to the City of Oaks, you must worship in front of the giant acorn. Then get a hot glazed donut at the nearby Krispy Kreme. Raleigh is a town of religious experiences.
OFF WITH HER HEAD
Speaking of Sophia Coppola, my wife hated the ending of Marie Antoinette. Why? Because The final reel stopped without Kirsten Dunst getting her head lopped off by the Guillotine. How can you make a film about Marie that doesn’t have the blade come down? And don’t go “you need to put a Spoiler Alert” on this. Anyone who wasn’t stoned during World History class knows what happens to the Queen of France. To not have her head bounce into a basket is like having a Catherine the Great movie that avoids the horsey love.
WHO WE WANT IN 2008
This column is throwing its support behind the presidential ticket of Ben Gazzara and Robert Loggia.
Does Willard Scott feel sad when he reads about someone dying at 99? It’s another name that won’t be on the Smuckers jar.
How many of Russell Simmons’s “Do You!: 12 Laws to Access the Power in You to Achieve Happiness and Success” involve divorce law?
WHAT COURTESY?
During a report about how Fergie from the Black Eye Peas had her first big role in Monster in The Closet, the guys at E! showed a clip from the film. In the top right corner of the frame was “Courtesy of Youtube.” Who is running the style book at that channel? It’s good that the channel sourced that they downloaded the footage from Youtube, but that website had no permission to actually host the movie. Troma was the company that should have been given a “Courtesy of…” credit. The folks at E! owe Troma a major apology. Instead of telling people that the DVD of Monster in the Closet can be bought, they tipped off folks that they can just visit Youtube and watch the film for free. Would the folks at E! be pleased if Entertainment Tonight ran a clip from the upcoming season of The Simple Life and claimed “Courtesy of Youtube?”
FLIPPED OFF
I recently discovered Flip This House and Flip That House are different shows. Were these two shows based off the English series Flip This House? If you want to get on one of these shows, tell the producers that you have won’t waste money on a home inspection before you buy the property. That insures a certain disaster site that TV producers love to document.
Is there anything you can do to a house that won’t add value beyond the expense? How much does a glory hole add to your guest bathroom? Wouldn’t you be better off buying a dump and putting in your own upgrades? You can always put your own new roof on a house. Are these shows “crack” for viewers who see the concept of buying a house, working on it for three weeks and scoring a $100,000 payday is just a dump away?
When is someone going to do a spouse swap show that also involves remodeling? Call it Dad ‘N Hammer. Imagine the joy in the eyes of young children when a nutjob with a toolbox shows up at the front door. It’ll be comedy gold when the dads return to their families and check out the “improvements” at their homes. What dad wants to know that all the projects he swore over the years that he’d finish were done by another man?
OLD NOSTI
Why is it when I get dragged into Old Navy, they never seem to play Beth Orton? Where’s “Stolen Car” when sifting through ringed t-shirts? One time they played Husker Du’s “Could You Be The One.” Looking around at the shoppers eager to find that perfect pair of cords, it was easy to surmise that nobody else was getting pangs of nostalgia. What’s to do when you miss the Du?
Do you think Beth Orton is jealous about my Leslie Feist crush? Feist’s new album The Reminder is due out May 1. The airport moving sidewalk video for “My Moon My Man” has inspired me to buy the CD when it comes out. I’m sorry that I’m unfaithful cad, Beth, but Feist called my name.
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