Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• The Will Ferrell vehicle Blades of Glory was number one at the box office this past weekend for the second week in a row. The film’s originality and continued success will still surely spawn a number of copycat films in which downtrodden athletes battle against the odds to become champions… just like last week.

• Fall Out Boy is postponing the start of the Honda Civic tour. Bass player and cheerleader Pete Wentz said the opening show was canceled for “personal issues.” Insiders were quick to note that although Wentz referred to them as “personal issues,” their names are actually Jennifer and Kelly.

• Violinist Joshua Bell has won the coveted Avery Fisher Prize and a purse worth $75,000. The Avery Fisher Prize is so difficult to earn that the prize has not been awarded in three years. Bell won the prize despite being a wussy violinist.

• Writer/Director/God Amongst Men Kevin Smith has finally revealed some plans for his upcoming horror film, Red State. Smith, known primarily for making comedies, is set to make his horror genre debut with an evildoer based on Kansas preacher Fred Phelps. Insiders are saying that to up the film’s horror and gore, Smith is considering casting Hilary Swank in the lead role.

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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