Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• Comic book writer Grant Morrison has been hired to write a film adaptation of the hit video game Area 51. Morrison says the plot will delve into the mysteries surrounding the top secret military installation and include several types of alien beings.  According to insiders, the aliens will have a classic yet eerie look to them, and will be based on actress Hilary Swank.

• Actor Adam Sandler is set to star in a new Disney film called Bedtime Stories.  The film, about a man whose life gets weird when bedtime stories become real, is set to begin production this fall.  In related news, actor Rob Schnieder will finally get another job.

• Halle Berry has received her own star on the Hollywood walk of fame. Berry became the 2,333rd celebrity to receive a star along the world famous walk way. Berry was scheduled to receive the star years ago but everyone felt that it was in the star’s best interest to wait until everyone forgot that she was in Catwoman, Swordfish, Bullworth, B*A*P*S, The Flinstones, Boomerang…

• Country singer Billy Joe Shaver is wanted by Texas police for allegedly shooting a man in a parking lot. We at QSE are glad to finally see country stars taking it to the next level and proving that even though they are rich white people from the south, they can still start some shit.

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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