Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• Velvet Revolver frontman Scott Weiland is in trouble for trashing a hotel room in Burbank, CA. According to reports, Weiland and his wife got into an argument and the couple proceeded to destroy the hotel room. Weiland and his wife were arguing over the best way to inject heroine. Weiland maintains that the “old school” way of using arm veins is the best while his wife thinks shooting heroine directly into the carotid artery is totally the way to go.

• Corbin Bernsen, perhaps best known as Arnie Becker on L.A. Law, is set to direct the new horror film Dead Air.  The film involves a pair of radio hosts who have to warn L.A. about a zombie attack.  At this time it is unclear if the producers of the film will push the envelope of horror by actually casting Bernsen himself in the film.

• Actor Kal Penn, Kumar from the film Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, is set to become a guest instructor at the University of Pennsylvania in the Spring of 2008.  Penn will be teaching two courses at the university, “Images of Asian Americans in the Media” and “How to be in 22 Movies and Several TV Shows and Not Have Anyone Know What Your Name Is.”

• Amongst the guitar and drums, the White Stripes will add bagpipes and trumpets to the band’s next album. The next Stripes album, titled Icky Thump, is coming out in June. The bagpipes will add a much needed element of [EXPLETIVE DELETED] annoying suck to the White Stripes sound.

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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