Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• A film about four talking ninja turtles who also happen to be teenagers has won the weekend box office.  Producers of the film were surprised at the film’s success, as many insiders believed the film was doomed after Corey Feldman declined to reprise his role as the voice of Donatello.

• Snoop Dogg has been denied a visa into England and will not be able to play the five scheduled concert dates within the country. Dogg and several of his friends were arrested and spent an evening in jail back in 2006 for a brawl started at Heathrow Airport. According to his lawyers, Dogg is willing to do whatever it takes to clear up any outstanding issues – unless that would entail eating British food (ok… we’ll do it… we weren’t going to but here it is) and handing over his pot.

• Canadian band The New Pornographers are in the studio recording a new album.  The album, which is a follow up to the band’s 2005 release Twin Cinema, is said to have more of an “epic” feel.  In related news, the old Pornographers will also be releasing a new album, full of naked people doing it.

• Toys for the highly anticipated movie Spider-Man 3 have hit shelves, revealing major plot lines from the movie.  Stores were prohibited from putting the toys out until the 24th, but that didn’t stop a few thousand from hitting the internet early.  We here at QSE News would like to thank dorks all over the country for raising the bar of theft and sloth to new heights.

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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