Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• The movie classic Gone With the Wind is set to become the next movie to receive the Broadway musical treatment.  It is rumored that producers are courting Hugh Jackman to play the role of Rhett Butler.  In order to please Jackman’s comic book reading fan base, producers are also inserting a scene where Rhett eviscerates Scarlett O’Hara with his Adamantium claws.

• The Beastie Boys are hitting the festival circuit this year with the first stop at the Sasquatch Festival in Washington. The group will perform hits from its entire catalog and promise to stay true to its roots by shouting the last word of every line.

• A friend has come forward in defense of disgraced American Idol contestant, Barba Antonella, saying that the lewd pictures that recently appeared on the internet are not of the “singer.”  American Idol judges were quick to respond to the news with Randy Jackson saying that it “was too damn bad, because whoever that is, has one smokin’ [EXPLETIVE DELETED],” Paula Abdul stated that “purple fluffiness sounds like glue” and Simon Cowell stated that the news was irrelevant because “he prefers the subjects of his naughty pictures to be men.”

• It appears that director James Cameron just reserved a special place for himself in hell… at least, as far as many Christians are concerned. Cameron’s upcoming movie, a documentary he filmed for the Discovery Channel, apparently refutes the notion that Christ’s body spent three days at the site of the Church of the Holy Sepulcher in Jerusalem’s Old City.  “On the contrary,” claims Cameron, “few people know this, but Christ’s body was actually found in a sunken luxury liner, 5,000 ft beneath the ocean.”

• Singer Bobby Brown is back in jail and will remain there until he pays over $19,000 in child support fees. Brown was arrested while watching his daughter’s cheerleading competition. The “Welcome Home Bobby” party at Norfolk County jail will be held this Thursday during lunch time.

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

##

Comments: None