Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• In movie news, Tom Cruise is in talks to join Ben Stiller in a new movie called The Hardy Men, a send off to the Hardy Boys detective series.  Little is known of the plot to the film, but insiders say that the film will revolve around a man (Cruise) who keeps his wife locked up in a basement and forces her to pretend he’s not bat-shit crazy.

• Despite his own legal troubles surrounding the shooting death of Lana Clarkson, Phil Spector has been awarded $900,000 from a former assistant.  Spector claimed that the assistant, Michelle Blaine, embezzled $425,000 from him and never repaid a $635,000 loan.  When asked for comment about the case, Spector claimed that he knew he would get his money back eventually, because if he didn’t he’d have “shot the [EXPLETIVE DELETED].”

• Organizers of this year’s Ozzfest have announced that tickets for the festival will be completely free.  When asked why there would be no charge for admission, tour creator Sharon Osbourne was quoted as saying “we had to do something drastic, because no one was actually going to pay for any of this crap.”

• Proving that it’s not only a place to meet underage girls, MySpace has announced that it has partnered with Film 4 and Vertigo Films to produce a full length feature film.  The movie will be directed by an amateur filmmaker and will be found by a reality show-esque search on Myspace.  Despite wanting to insert an unknown into the directing chair, many of the potential directors have already been featured on NBC’s “To Catch A Predator.”

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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