Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• Reports are coming out of Hollywood that director M. Night Shyamalan is having a hard time finding a buyer for his new movie, Green Planet.  Insiders say that every studio has turned the movie down, although Fox is said to be “considering” it.  Studio executives insist that the script isn’t bad, they just can’t spell or pronounce Shyamalan’s name correctly and are sick of confusing him with the doo wop group Sha-na-na.

• The Oscar nominations have been announced with the Eddie Murphy vehicle Dreamgirlsleading the pack with a whopping eight nominations. Surprisingly, at least to those outside of the Jewish community, Mel Gibson’s Mayan epic, Apocalypto, was overlooked primarily because, as one Academy voter put it, there is no Oscar for “Best Portrayal of a Lying, Misogynistic, Anti-Semitic, Alcoholic Dick.”

• A reunited The Police are rumored to be appearing at this year’s Grammy Awards in February. Grammy organizers are hoping that the audience will remember that Sting wasn’t always a wussie, easy-listening musician and that he was, in fact, in a post-punk rock band.

• In continued reunion news, James, the band that had the mega-hit “Laid,” is reuniting for a string of shows in the UK. It’s rumored that the band will be performing songs from its entire catalog, with “Laid” being the only song that anyone will recognize.

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by J. Allen)

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