The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

The end is nigh, as the ninth season of The Simpsons (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP) begins to show the creative fraying around the edges that would completely undermine the show over the next few years. Still, there’s a few great episodes to be found, including the family’s journey to New York, the arrival of Apu’s first wife, Homer’s tenure as the waste commissioner, and the tale of the trillion dollar bill. As with previous seasons, every episode features an audio commentary, plus deleted scenes, illustrated commentaries, commercials, sketches, and a U2 featurette.

While this year’s wave of Walt Disney Treasures collector’s sets (Walt Disney, Not Rated, DVD-$32.99 SRP each) doesn’t feature the 3rd volume of Donald Duck cartoons I’d been hoping for, it’s still a nice clutch of must-have releases for any Disney fan. In addition to the second volumes of both Pluto and Silly Symphonies, there’s also the complete Hardy Boys, from The Mickey Mouse Club, and Your Host Walt Disney, which features memorable episodes from Walt’s 10 years on television. Your guide through all of these discs, as always, is Leonard Maltin, and there are plenty of bonus materials to be had, including audio commentaries, featurettes, art galleries, and more. Now, that 3rd Donald volume had better be on next year’s slate…

Unfortunately, due to spiraling paper costs, Gemstone Publishing is suspending publication of the regular comic-sized Donald Duck and Friends & Mickey Mouse and Friends (Gemstone, $2.95 each), with issues #346 & #295, respectively. It’s not all doom and gloom this holiday season, though, as they’ll still be publishing their deluxe-sized Uncle Scrooge and Walt Disney’s Comics & Stories ($6.95), both of which will have only a modest price increase in the new year. Be sure to pick up all the wonderful holiday-themed issues, though, as there are some classic stories from the likes of Barks and Gottfredson inside.

If Bacchus were to ever step off Olympus and become a British comedian, his name would be Johnny Vegas. More a force of nature than a man, he’s an incredibly funny, shambolic, bombastic onscreen presence whose seemingly inebriated manner hide a sharp mind and a quick wit. Many critics dismissed his Channel 4 show, 18 Stone of Idiot (Channel 4, Not Rated, DVD-£19.99), as a raucous, lowbrow mess. Personally, I think it’s a very funny show that has a rhythm and vibrancy outside the norm, and its seeming maelstrom is an elaborate construct. The DVD condenses the short-lived series into 90 minutes of highlights, with bonus features including an audio commentary and outtakes. Any show that has the moxy to ask Elvis Costello if he felt like an idiot for refusing to sell one of his songs for millions of dollars to be used in an advert when he had just performed it live on the show for free is a how that needs to be rediscovered on DVD.

Anyone that can view Spike Lee’s powerful documentary about the devastation wrought on New Orleans – and its shameful aftermath – without feeling a mixture of sorrow and anger well up within them must have something beside a human heart beating in their chest. When The Levees Broke: A Requiem In Four Acts (HBO, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP) is an incredible document of an outrageous tragedy not only for the region, but for America as a whole and the government that is expected to be there in the aftermath of such tragedies. This 3-disc set also includes a 105-minute follow-up film, as well as audio commentaries from Lee and a photo gallery.

Abby has arrived, Green is on the rise, Carter faces tragedy, and Alan Alda makes a memorable guest appearance in the 5th season of ER (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP). This season marked the increasingly soap operaish trend that would threaten to derail the show just a few short seasons hence, but for now, it balances the personal and professional lives of County General quite nicely. The 6-disc set features outtakes and the by now must-see gag reel.

While all eyes are turned towards his seasonal classic It’s a Wonderful Life, be sure not to pass up the new Premiere Frank Capra Collection box set (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$59.95 SRP), featuring 5 newly remastered classics from the director’s storied career, with brand new audio commentaries to boot. Those films are American Madness, It Happened One Night, Mr. Deeds Goes To Town, You Can’t Take It With You, and Mr. Smith Goes To Washington. If that weren’t enough, the set also contains the Ron Howard-hosted documentary Frank Capra’s American Dream.

After 8 seasons, many of which are rightly remembered amongst the most classic ever to air on television, The Andy Griffith Show (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP) came to a close a few seasons past its prime. In the 30 episodes contained in this 5-disc set, Aunt Bee gets married, Opie goes rock n’ roll, Goober becomes his own man, and there’s even a surprise return of one Barney Fife.

There’s an undeniable down-home charm to Jim Nabors as prototypical Gump Gomer Pyle, and they managed to export it nicely from The Andy Griffith Show and into his own starring vehicle, Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP). Unwitting torturer of the short-fused Sergeant Carter, Gomer is stationed at California’s Camp Henderson, where is small-town naiveté drives everyone nuts, but gawl darn it, it sure is funny. The 5-disc box set features all 30 first season episodes, plus audio intros from Nabors, audio commentaries from Nabors and Ronnie Schell on select episodes, the episode of The Andy Griffith Show which served as the series’ pilot, Nabors on The David Frost Show, a Jim Nabors Hour clip, and a Lucy Show clip. Bring on the second season!

Of course, that’s not the only military comedy you can partake of this holiday season. If comedic follies in World War II prisoner of war camps is more your cup of tea, then the penultimate 5th season of Hogan’s Heroes (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP) is just the ticket. I’m sorry, but even after all these year, I still find “I know nussing!!” profoundly funny. The 4-disc box set features all 26 remastered and uncut episodes.

More than living up to its title, Roy Thomas’s Conan: The Ultimate Guide To The World’s Most Savage Barbarian (DK, $24.99) is an essential overview of the creation, history, and mythos of that famous Cimmerian warrior, lavishly illustrated and packed with information.

Before Ugly Betty took over the airwaves this fall, Americans were enamored with the awkward position young Andy Sachs (Anne Hathaway) found herself in as the assistant to incredibly demanding New York fashion magazine editor Miranda Priestly (Meryl Streep). I could care less about the fashion industry, but The Devil Wears Prada (Fox, Rated PG-13, DVD-$29.99 SRP) is a spot-on character piece that’s full of plenty of laughs and a makes for a solid night of entertainment. Bonus features include an audio commentary, deleted scenes, behind-the-scenes featurettes, and a gag reel.

Rocky Balboa is back in theaters and angling to get into your MP3 player of choice with a pair of new releases – a 30th anniversary remastered edition of the original Rocky soundtracks, as well as Rocky Balboa: The Best of Rocky (EMI, $18.98 SRP each), which contains tunes from all the flicks (including Survivor’s immortal “Eye of the Tiger”).

If you want a pretty clear case of how not to handle a remake of a cult classic horror flick, be sure to give a spin to the recent retake on The Wicker Man (Warner Bros., Rated PG-13, DVD-$28.98 SRP). Gone is the creepy British provincialism of the original, replaced with a bland American enclave of women situated on a private isle, and Nicolas Cage as the cop who picks the wrong day to go investigating on said creepy island. Do yourself a favor and stick with the Brit original. Bonus features include both the theatrical and an unrated version of the film (with a different, still ho-hum ending), an audio commentary, and the theatrical trailer.

Where films like The Blair Witch Project tried to revive the creep factor of the unknown darkness existing just outside the light, The Descent (Lionsgate, Not Rated, DVD-$28.98 SRP) achieves that in spades through the tale of a group of female spelunkers are stranded deep in the bowels of the Appalachians and find they’re not alone.. and it’s not human. The unrated cut features a pair of audio commentaries, deleted/extended scenes, storyboard to screen comparisons, a behind-the-scenes featurette, an interview with director Neil Marshall, a stills gallery, and outtakes.

While there was still humor to be found, audiences went largely lukewarm to what they viewed as a “message” show after Ellen’s big announcement during the fourth season, making the fifth season of Ellen (A&E, Not Rated, DVD-$49.95 SRP) its last. With time and distance, it’s worth giving these episodes a second chance. The 3-disc set features outtakes and cast bios.

While a fascinating visual trip, A Scanner Darkly (Warner Bros., Rated R, DVD-$27.98 SRP) is another one of those not quite there attempts to make a cinematic translation of a Philip K. Dick story. As adapted and directed by Richard Linklater as a rotoscoped fantasia, it can’t seem to find a footing in the tale of a suburban society hooked on Substance D, with a government doing more harm than good in order to “save them.” Still, it’s a worthwhile try, and at least interesting enough to maintain your attention. Bonus features include an audio commentary, behind-the-scenes featurettes, and the theatrical trailer.

Fill your winter with wit via the second volume of the Will Rogers Collection (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP), featuring the film’s Ambassador Bill, David Harum, Mr. Skitch, and Too Busy To Work. Each film is fully remastered, with restoration comparison featurettes on every disc.

It’s natural to want to compare Gene Simmons’ family reality series to the hell-brood featured on Ozzy Osbourne’s show, but the surprising discovery of Family Jewels (A&E, Not Rated, DVD-$24.95 SRP) is just how normal Simmons, his partner Shannon Tweed, and their two teenage kids are. In fact, compared to the Osbournes, Gene’s raised a pair of angels. Those expecting the kind of train wreck normally found in these types of shows will be largely disappointed, but it’s a fascinating peek behind closed doors nonetheless. The 2-disc set features the complete first season, plus unseen interviews, a rough cut of the pilot, bloopers, behind-the-scenes featurettes, and more.

Featuring seven centuries of art, Masterpieces Up Close: Western Painting from the 14th to the 20th Centuries (Chronicle Books, $22.95) is a fun, informative oversize coffee table book that spotlights the hidden in plain view secrets of many classic works of art, from Michaelangelo to Dali, with a fun and breezy presentation that makes discovery a real joy.

There’s always a very noticeable tipping point where megalomaniacal directors suddenly go off the deep end of their own outsize egos, and M. Night Shyamalan has reached his with the overblown, pretentious, and altogether uninvolving Lady In The Water (Warner Bros., Rated PG-13, DVD-$28.98 SRP). Like some kind of ersatz cross between 12 Monkeys and Splash, a schlubby apartment manager (Paul Giamatti) is caught up in a tale of something or another when he rescues a mysterious water nymph (Bryce Dallas Howard) from the communal swimming pool. Then stuff happens, much of which revolves around the fate of an artiste played by… M. Night Shyamalan. Bonus features include behind-the-scenes documentaries, additional scenes, auditions, a gag reel, and theatrical trailers.

It’s been said before, but watching Zach Braff in The Last Kiss (Paramount, Rated R, DVD-$29.99 SRP) is like watching a weird, bizarro remake of his writing & directorial debut, Garden State. Sadly, Braff’s lost, maturity-delayed character in Kiss is simply annoying, and the film itself is frustratingly flat and off-putting – whereas Garden State was anything but. Bonus features include director and cast audio commentaries, deleted scenes, a behind-the-scenes featurette, a gag reel, and the Braff-directed video for Cary Brothers’ “Ride.”

After so many years, all of the various locales of Survivor begin to blend together in a miasma of challenges and bickering, and such is the case with Survivor: Vanuatu (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$49.99 SRP). This 4-disc set features not only all the episodes, but also additional footage, featurettes, audio commentaries, and the reunion episode.

While not exactly holiday fare, you can now own a trio of Henry Jaglom’s films, new to DVD – New Year’s Day, Someone to Love, and Tracks (Paramount, Rated R, DVD-$14.99 SRP each). All three discs feature audio commentary from Jaglom, who is joined by Dennis Hopper on Tracks, Andrea Marcovicci on Someone To Love, and David Duchovny on New Year’s Day.

Return to the estrogen-thick walls of Wentworth Detention Center via the second collection of the Australian cult classic Prisoner Cell Block H (A&E, Not Rated, DVD-$49.95 SRP). Think of its sometimes outlandish soapy-ness as a female prison version of Oz.

Only completists will want to pick up the first volume of The New Adventures Of He-Man (BCI, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP), the 90’s follow-up to the 80’s “classic” that managed to strip away any charm or iconic design found in the original. The 6-disc set features the first 33 episodes, plus 2 new documentaries, commercials, trivia, character profiles, and more.

So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

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