Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

• Bird’s of a feather flock together and so do… Hollywood racists.  Mel Gibson is throwing his support behind Michael Richards, the beleaguered “comedian” whose racially charged tirade at a comedy club recently all but ended his “career.”  When asked why he was supporting Richards, Gibson responded “Well, you know… since I found out he’s not really Jewish, I figured he was probably a pretty OK guy.”

• In a case of life imitating art, the girl who plays Mary in the new the Nativity movie is pregnant. The 16-year-old actress, Keisha Castle-Hughes, is “pretty sure” she’s not carrying the son of God and that this is not a case of “immaculate conception”… unless, of course, “immaculate conception” means a night of rough, drunken sex in the back of a Camaro with her “boyfriend” Lloyd.  However, the actress has publicly stated that she IS planning on delivering the child in a barn somewhere in Iraq.

• In television news, CBS has announced plans for a new reality show called Armed and Famous, where minor celebrities go through police training.  Featuring such F-List actors as Eric Estrada, LaToya Jackson and Jack Osborn as “the drug-sniffing” dog, the “celebrities” will eventually go on actual patrols and wield “real” guns.  CBS has already announced plans for a follow up series called How Ponch Got Capped In The Head During a Botched Drug Raid.

• Hoping to lure and trick young people into the cut-throat world of Canadian politics, former Canadian Prime Ministers are appearing as judges in a new reality TV show called The Next Great Prime Minister.  And, of course, I’m sure I’m echoing most of Americas sentiments when I say, “Canadians have television??”

• And finally, on a sad note, popular children’s group The Wiggles are losing their lead singer, the “Yellow Wiggle,” to an undisclosed illness.  According to the remaining members of the band, the short list for a replacement includes only one name:  Justin Hawkins, ex-lead singer of the band The Darkness.  When the Wiggles were asked “Why Hawkins?,” “Blue Wiggle” responded, “Are you [EXPLETIVE DELETED] kidding me?  Justin has a $2000 a week coke habit!  Hell, he’ll fit right in.  Oh yeah, and the [EXPLETIVE DELETED] kids are going to [EXPLETIVE DELETED] love him!!”

That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

(Compiled by M. Bell)

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