The Fred Hembeck Show: Episode 77 – Croon River

Several weeks back (The Fred Hembeck Show Episode 73), I wrote an almost impromptu salute to Mark Gruenwald, motivated primarily by several exchanges that turned up in a MySpace blog entry of mine that was otherwise unrelated in any way to the late Marvel writer and editor. Although I’d long been an admirer of the man’s work, I’d only ever met and spoke with him briefly in all the years he was employed by Marvel, so I’ll admit to feeling a certain amount of guilt in compiling the aforementioned episode. Because, I’m thinking, there’s probably no one better qualified for penning an appreciation of Gruenwald than my esteemed Quick Stop colleague, Peter Sanderson, and I certainly didn’t want preempt anything he’d planned.

Well, whether I did or I didn’t, in the final analysis, doesn’t much matter, since last week in Comics In Context #150, Peter wrote his own splendid tribute to his now decade departed friend, and it ranks as one of his very best columns – and that’s no small compliment. I strongly suggest all of you check out Peter’s heartfelt recounting of the recent gathering to remember, ten years on, Mark Gruenwald’s legacy – it’s every bit as good – and every bit as moving – as I knew it would be. Nice work, Mr. S.

Here abouts, well, we’re a bit pressed for time (translation: there’s an important Mets playoff game on the tube tonight), so we’re dipping once again into the archives. This time, we’re going way, WAAAY back, leading off with only the third ever blog entry written for Fred Sez, dated January 7, 2003. Midway through, we jump ahead in time to March 28th, 2005, for the second part of today’s warmed over examination of a man too often overlooked, especially here at Quick Stop Entertainment: Andy Williams!! Hey, what Kevin Smith fan DOESN’T dig a little crooner conversation upon occasion, hmm?

Well, here’s your chance! Back, back, back we go then, to early 2003…

Another day, another time, I’ll extol the (many) virtues of the British music magazine, MOJO. Today I’d just like to discuss a curious item I stumbled across in their January, 2000 issue, and a subsequent event that only further amplified this odd bit of trivia. We’re talking Andy Williams here, folks. You know, the old style crooner who anchored a long-running variety show on NBC back in the sixties? The man who made the Osmonds famous? Whose big, big song was “Moon River”? Yup, THAT Andy Williams. Well, the old smoothie may’ve seen his career cool down stateside, but apparently things are going great guns for him over across the pond! Finding several (mostly) positive reviews in the British music press would appear to bear this out, as would adverts (as the Brits say) for a seemingly endless round of Williams dates in the Isles might indicate.

So, he’s popular in England. Fine. That’s probably why MOJO chose him as one of the celebrities for a feature that asks a stock set of questions each month – what was the first record you ever bought, what’s your favorite record, what do you sing in the shower, that kinda stuff. Well, most of the answers were what you might’ve expected from an entertainer from his generation, with the requisite mentions of Sinatra, Benny Goodman, et al, but then we come to this query: “What is your favorite Saturday night record?” To quote amiable Andy in his entirety, he came back with this rather jarring reply: “Either Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd or Born To Run by Bruce Springsteen. I love both those records. They are such artistic triumphs of modern music. The Floyd’s preciseness – every note thought out completely. And then Bruce’s rawness and unbelievable energy. Whenever I need a lift, this is definitely the CD I put on”!?!

Excuse me? Did he just use the phrase, “the Floyd”?? He did, didn’t he? Andy Williams just referred to the archetypal space band in the same manner one of their more devoted – and heavily medicated – followers might!?! Pardon me for dropping my jaw, but what’s next? Charo extolling the virtues of Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols?? The image of Andy spending a Saturday evening, blasting “Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out” out of his stereo, or stranger still, getting mellow with “Us and Them” dreamily piping in through a set of headphones…?? It wasn’t a disturbing image, exactly, but it wasn’t one I was going to forget anytime soon, either. Which leads me to the second part of my story…

Flash forward to the wee hours of Labor Day, 2003. As every year on that date, I’m sitting in front of the tube, glued to the Jerry Lewis Telethon. It’s after midnight, and Jerry, who’s not been in the best of health recently, is relieved of his duties for the evening. The nerve center of the event switches over from Jerry’s Las Vegas location to the Moon River Theater in Branson, Missouri. Said theater is owned and operated by our Mr. Williams, who takes on the mantle of host for the telethon’s next several hours.

Since this is the first real chance I’ve had to observe Andy since he made his comments to MOJO, I watch with more than a bit of curiosity. Now please don’t get me wrong – by no means am I anti-crooner. Despite being a rock and roll devotee, I’ve come to appreciate the sweet sounds of der Bingle, old Blue Eyes, and Dino, among others. Andy Williams, despite a distinctive voice and obvious talent, never quite distinguished himself enough in my eyes (and ears) to stand out much in that bunch. But here he was, looking a bit wizened – hey, none of us are getting any younger! – but sounding strong despite his advancing years. Acting as emcee, he brings out Yakov Smirnoff, the Lennon Sisters, several others, and then participates in a pleasant duet with “youngster” Glen Campbell, eventually singing a few predictable numbers exhumed from the Great American Songbook. Nice, but hardly noteworthy. It was getting late. Time for bed soon. But I think I’ll sit through one more pitch and see what happens afterwards. And man, am I ever glad I did!

If I was getting bleary eyed, if I was in any danger of nodding off, any chance at all of that happening instantly vanished as the rumbling bass line that introduced the next number came ominously out of my television’s speakers! Good golly Miss Molly, was I hearing what I THOUGHT I was hearing? Before my mind was able to totally process the information being fed it, after the number’s dramatic introduction, Andy sang the tune’s first words and my suspicion’s were confirmed: he was indeed singing “Every Breath You Take”, the biggest selling song The Police ever recorded (and incidentally, my particular favorite of theirs). A large laugh erupted from deep within me as the title phrase escaped from his lips, not so much because I thought it was funny, but because of the sheer audacity of it all!

Of course, I admit to expecting the worse. The guy’s a crooner, fer gawshsakes – this has GOTTA be outta his league, right? Right? But I sat there, transfixed. Maybe this guy really DID listen to the Floyd and Bruce in his spare time? And as surprised as I may’ve been to realize he may not’ve just been shoveling MOJO what he thought it’s readers wanted to hear, I was even MORE surprised at what was happening right there in front of me: he was singing the @#$% outta the song!! Who’d a thought? Backed by a surprisingly hot band and a soulful backup trio, when he reached the number’s climax and began to wildly scat his way to a cataclysmic finish – WHOA!! I sat there, stunned by the spectacle that I’d just witnessed. The man who once made the world safe for cardigan sweaters had just wrung out every iota of emotion from Sting’s twisted ode to a stalker!?! Even Puff Daddy would’ve been impressed! Who could sleep NOW?

Luckily, I had captured this eye opening performance on tape, or no one would’ve believed me – I’m not sure I would’ve believed me without the evidence to back it up!! But there it was, proof of a musical moment one’s not likely to see repeated again anytime soon! (…and as to WHY I was taping the Jerry Lewis Telethon, well that’s a whole ‘nother topic, one I’m sure we’ll get into some fine day. Just know that, yes, some of the ways of Hembeck are a bit… unusual.) I wanted to tell everyone what I’d seen, to share this knowledge with an unaware public. And now I can – and have. Though it happened months ago, still I hear the strains of Mr. Williams majestic interpretation rattling around in my noggin, leading me to ask but one question: anybody out there got any Branson bootlegs?? Hey, you know how to get a hold of me…

…and now, from March 2005, we serve up this little warmed over gem…

Recently, I mentioned my new found love of gleefully canvassing the very width and breadth of my considerable CD collection to compile my own eccentric home made mix CDs. Now, generally, these musical amalgamations consist of a wide variety of tunes all the way back to the swing bands of the thirties, on through the golden age of rock and roll, and right on up to cuts burned off of one of my daughter’s latest Now collections, but along the way, I’ve made up a few SPECIALTY discs. And, melody mavens, today I’m going to take a few minutes to tell you about one in patic…

Despite my deep abiding love of both rock and roll, I’ve also got myself a soft spot for the classic crooners as well. How my tastes veered off in this unexpected direction about a decade back is a whole ‘nother story, a digression much too long to go into here today, but suffice it to say, I’ve become quite the fan of all the biggies: der Bingle , Dino, Ol’ Blue Eyes, and Nat King Cole especially. I’ve even come around to appreciating Tony Bennett and (who’da ever thot?) Sammy Davis Jr. (pre-‘”Candy Man”)!

But I’ve pretty much stayed away from the next level down of warblers: Perry Como, Jerry Vale, Robert Goulet, Al Martino-and Andy Williams. Until, that is, I saw Mr. Williams take on The Police’s “Every Breath You Take” during the wee wee hours of the Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon several years back, and was stunned to see him come out not only unscathed, but downright triumphant!!

Ever since that watershed performance, I’ve been inordinately fascinated by the easy going Mr. Williams, and recently, courtesy of a price-slashing sale at a mail order oldies outlet, I put my money where my mind was and picked up a half dozen Williams CDs, each featuring two complete LPs on every disc! Oh, the pure unadulterated joy! I was just over the moon – river, that is…

Okay, I’ll admit, the man still comes in no higher than number five on my own personal croon-o-meter (after Bing, Dean, Frank and Nat), but there’s one thing that truly separates him from these other legends (well, two things, actually, since he’s still ALIVE and they’re not, but…) – HE didn’t fear the Top 40 of his day!

Look, Sinatra recorded a grand total of one Beatles number-and he kept assigning credit for Harrison’s “Something” to John and Paul whenever he sang it in concert, so obviously, the man WASN’T a charter subscriber to Rolling Stone magazine! Bing took a go at “Hey Jude”, and, well, it’s best heard to be buh-buh-buh-lieved! Dean never went anywhere NEAR the new tunes, save for maybe the sort you’d find on a movie soundtrack or hear on the Broadway stage. And of course, Nat King Cole tragically died far too early, not only in terms of his career and his life, but also in order to get a fair shot at all the new compositions coming out of the burgeoning mid-sixties rock era. But Andy? Ah, Andy…

He was considerably younger (he checks in currently at 78, making him a mere babe of 40 in 1967), had his own long-running weekly network TV show (NBC, 1963-1972), and probably realized early on, he could belt out the best of Cole Porter and Harold Arlen for only so long before audiences would get bored and switch channels in search of something hipper – y’know, like The Perry Como Show. So, while Andy may not’ve gone so far as to offer up his versions of “You Really Got Me”, “19th Nervous Breakdown”, or “Pictures Of Lily”, he DID dip into the contemporary tune pool and reach a bit deeper than the latest Bacarach composition or “Hair” cover (which he did more than his share of as well, make no mistake), and in that spirit, I felt the need to assemble my own specially chosen collection of what you might well call “Pop Goes The Williams!”

What follows is the carefully considered sequence of the tracks I selected from the dozen Williams LPs available to make up this 79 minutes and change disc, plus the names of the original artists associated with the songs, the records highest Billboard position, and the year it charted…

“Bridge Over Troubled Water” (Simon & Garfunkel. #1, 1970)

“Spooky” (Classics IV, #3, 1968)

“I Need You” (America, #9, 1972)

“Alone Again (Naturally)”. (Gilbert O’ Sullivan, #1, 1972)

“You’ve Got A Friend” (James Taylor, #1, 1971-also Carole King)

“Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling Again” (Fortunes, #15, 1971)

“Reason To Believe” (Tim Hardin, Bobby Darin, Rod Stewart, didn’t make Top 40)

“Sunny” (Bobby Hebb, #2, 1966)

“Everything I Own” (Bread, #5, 1972)

“A Song For You” (Leon Russell, late sixties album track)

“Windy” (The Association, #1, 1967)

“If” (Bread, #4, 1971)

“Pieces Of April” (Three Dog Night, #19, 1972)

“An Old Fashioned Love Song” (Three Dog Night, #4, 1971)

“Remember” (Nilsson, late sixties album track)

“It’s Too Late” (Carole King, #1, 1971)

“Seasons In The Sun” (Terry Jacks, #1, 1974)

“Precious And Few” (Climax, #3, 1972)

“Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” (Frankie Valli, #2, 1967)

“More Today Than Yesterday” (Spiral Staircase, #12, 1969)

“Touch Me In The Morning” (Diana Ross, #1, 1973)

“Without You” (Nilsson, #1, 1972-also Badfinger)

“God Only Knows” (Beach Boys, #39, 1966)

Admit it – you’re horrified, aren’t you?

Yeah, I get that reaction – a LOT. Which, in truth, only makes this all the MORE fun! Not that this compilation is anywhere near unlistenable-quite the contrary. Some of it is in fact surprisingly good. Some of it clearly isn’t. But again, in putting this together, I wasn’t necessarily looking for the BEST performances but for the most seemingly unusual covers. I left out the handful of Carpenters tunes, and stuff like “Honey”, “Both Sides Now”, “Get Together”, “Little Green Apples”, “The First Time Ever (I Saw Your Face)”, “Abraham, Martin and John”, a handful of Jimmy Webb songs, some Neil Diamond – songs ALL the lounge singers of the day had already worked into their acts – and seven Beatles compositions as well (all of which are slated to wind up on my ongoing series of Beatles cover tunes discs, worry not).

(Just for the record, Andy got all Fab on “Michelle”, “Here, There, and Everywhere”, “The Long And Winding Road”, “Imagine”, “My Love” – no surprises THERE-AND “Be Here Now”, a relatively obscure track from George’s “Living In The Material World” LP, hardly as well known a ditty as Ol’ Blue Eye’s favorite, “Something”)

I sent my buddy Roger Green a copy of the mix, without first telling him what was on it , but it soon became readily apparent what madness was piping out of his speakers. After overcoming his momentary shock, it turned out that his feelings basically echoed mine – Andy did a fine job on most of the ballads (of which there were plenty), stumbled a bit when trying to notch up the groove a bit on several of the mildly up-tempo numbers (“An Old Fashioned Love Song” comes to mind) – and then there were those songs that never should’ve been recorded ONE TIME, much less twice!(Do I hafta identify the primary culprit as “Seasons In The Sun”? Not to anyone who’s ever HEARD the original, that’s for sure!…)

All in all, though, Mr. W’s smooth tones serve him well, particularly on the sparely orchestrated “A Song For You” and “Remember”. Still, he impressively exhibits the necessary fire to sell the climactic chorus of “Without You” nearly as powerfully as Nilsson did when he took this Pete Ham/Tom Evans composition all the way to the top of the charts.

And I like the sly leer lurking in his otherwise squeaky clean delivery when he sings about a “Spooky little girl like you”. I’m even more willing to buy into the lyrical pathos of several of the more downbeat selections when sung by Andy as opposed to their originators. Look, I’ve long been a fan of Diana Ross, but more for the unique sound of her pipes as opposed to the emotional content of her performances, which, frankly, isn’t generally very high. Call me crazy, but I find myself more easily swallowing Andy’s alleged heartache as he croons “Touch Me In The Morning” than I did Ms. Ross’s. And if there was ever one group who should’ve had ALL their hits covered by good ol’ Andy Williams, it was the David Gates led schmaltz and roll ensemble, Bread! Now, THAT album wouldn’t’ve been half-baked, lemme tell ya!

I bookended my CD with probably the two best cuts. Williams’ version of “Bridge Over Troubled Water” sounds uncannily like the original, and while that may lose it crucial points on the imagination scale, anytime you can honestly measure up to Art Garfunkel’s vocal of a lifetime, well, you ain’t doing so bad! And his stately run-through of Brian Wilson’s “God Only Knows” – no lesser person than Paul McCartney’s favorite song – is performed essentially with the sole accompaniment of a Grand Piano, and quite honestly, his restrained performance borders on the magnificent! (This must’ve been a popular number in the Williams household, by the way, as his wife at the time, Claudine Longet, gave it a breathy – if not nearly as magnificent – reading, a vintage cut that turned up on the Gilmore Girls soundtrack CD anthology not long ago.)

A few fun facts about Andy Williams before we go, because who KNOWS when we’ll be back on this topic? (You can all only hope and pray, I’m guessing…) Andy got his start as the youngest member of the Williams Brothers, a group that first charted while singing back-up on Bing Crosby’s well-known Academy Award winning “Swinging On Star” disc in 1944: a year later, Andy dubbed Lauren Bacall’s singing voice in To Have And to Have Not; he left his brothers in 1952 to go solo, gaining most of his success a decade later: his 1973 album, Solitaire, was overseen by Richard Perry, shortly after the famed – and HOT – producer had come off huge hit LPs with Ringo Starr, Harry Nilsson, and Carly Simon (YOWSAH!!! – street cred for seventies survivors!..), and his ex-wife, Ms. Longet, became infamous for “accidentally” shooting her lover, a world famous skier, spawning the unforgettable Saturday Night Live “Claudine Longet Skiing Invitational”, a bit which consisted of stock footage of skiers tumbling, to which SNL added play by play and the requisite gun shot sound effects (“Oops – she’s got another one!”), one of the few comedy pieces, if my memory serves me correctly, the show was ever forced to apologize for. Too late – sick puppy that I was, I’d already laughed!

And you may well be laughing at me now, or maybe you’re just plain aghast – the mixed reaction my pal Rocco had when I tried to play my handiwork for him recently – but come on, now-what OTHER crooner had the gumption to tackle the greatest hit of Spiral Staircase, hmm? Chances are it WASN’T Johnny Mathis!…

Hembeck.com – we also cover comics! Honest…

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