The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

Jonathan Coulton is an evil, evil man who must be destroyed. That’s because he’s immensely talented, an amazingly gifted songwriter, and his incredible creativity both intimidates a normal, ungifted person like myself and drives me to distraction with catchy tunes and wordplay. Damn him to hell, I can’t stop listening to his CDs. Those include his first album Smoke Monkey ($10.00), his first EP, Where Tradition Meets Tomorrow ($7.00), and the first collection of his online songwriting experiment, Thing-a-Week ($10.00). You can purchase all of these discs, plus other merch, as well as partake of more sonic goodness at www.JonathanCoulton.com. That talented bastard. Dammit.

After a shaky first season finding their own voice, the second season of the US version of The Office (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP) came fully into its own, becoming a unique entity unto itself and a damn funny comedy to boot. What’s even better is that they did it without betraying the formula that made the original version of the show so successful – they just began writing for their own versions of the characters and have taken the arc into new territory. The 3-disc box set features all 22 episodes, plus deleted scenes, commentaries, NBC.com webisodes, fake PSAs, Olympic promos, a blooper reel, and more.

If you’re going to write a sequel to a classic comic book story, you damn well better make sure that you don’t drop the ball. Luckily, Don Rosa’s return to Carl Barks’s land of Tralla La – “Return to Xanadu” – is a worthy successor to The Master’s original tale (which featured Scrooge’s complete derailment of the idyllic – and moneyless – Tralla La-ian society via the introduction of a single bottle cap from a bottle of his nerve tonic). After being run off by the none-too-happy populace of the isolated Himalayan valley, Scrooge, Donald, and Huey, Dewey, & Louie find themselves returning to paradise by sheer accident – and their return is no less traumatic than the first time. You can find Don Rosa’s giant-sized epic in this month’s Uncle Scrooge #357 (Gemstone, $6.95).

Before it his a brick wall in its final season, Roseanne (Anchor Bay, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP) was must-see TV in my house, which was still going strong in its fifth season. Roseanne and Dan celebrate their 20th, Roseanne opens the Lunch Box (gotta love those loose meat sandwiches), Jackie & Roseanne’s dad dies, David movies in, Darlene turns 16… Oh, and even Tim Curry shows up. What’s not to love? All 25 episodes are uncut (please tell me we’ll eventually get a reissued, corrected season 1 set), and there’s both video commentaries with Roseanne and a Q&A featurette.

Like The Simpsons, Roseanne Barr’s eponymous sitcom made a beloved annual tradition of its Halloween episodes, all of which are collected on Roseanne: Halloween Edition (Anchor Bay, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP). That’s 7 episodes of spooky goodness, and you even get commentary from Roseanne.

Opting for a more manageable handling of the latest seasonal set, the fourth season of Spongebob Squarepants (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$36.99 SRP) gets a 2-disc Volume 1, featuring 20 episodes plus animatics for 2 episodes and a behind-the-scenes look at the denizens of Bikini Bottom.

And speaking of Spongebob, the voice behind the square-pantsed one – Tom Kenny – has co-written and co-produced a positively infectious album starring the denizens of Bikini Bottom, recast as the pop group “Spongebob & The Hi-Seas” who are appearing in concert on WH20 Radio. Before you go thinking The Best Day Ever (Nick Records, $13.98 SRP) is just some lame vanity project, let me tell you that the songwriting is positively infectious – Kenny is a huge fan of Brian Wilson and The Beach Boys, and the melodies and arrangement is in that vein… In fact, Wilson even provides backing vocals. Kenny’s love of the sound radiates in each track. Crikey, I think I love this album… And want a follow-up ASAP.

Never a fan of the series, I was surprised by just how much I enjoyed Beavis and Butt-Head Do America (Paramount, Rated PG-13, DVD-$19.99 SRP). Like South Park to come, it’s a sly little satire, all through the lens of its naïve leads. It’s been a long wait for this to finally hit DVD in a decent edition, but they pulled out all the stops, with an audio commentary, TV spots, shorts, a fight montage, trailers, and a look at the film’s score.

Titan Books has practically cornered the market on comprehensive, behind-the-scenes episode guide and companion tomes for science fiction shows, and they continue that with the release of the first volume for Joss Whedon’s Firefly (Titan Books, $19.95) – which features the uncut scripts for the first 6 episodes – and the official companion for the second season of Stargate Atlantic (Titan Books, $14.95 SRP). If that weren’t enough, they’ve also released the official companion for the first two seasons of 24 (Titan Books, $16.95 SRP).

Forming a triumvirate with Matlock and Murder, She Wrote, Diagnosis Murder (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$49.99 SRP) was must-see TV for the geriatric set, featuring Dick Van Dyke as the rascally doc that became involved with a disquieting amount of murders, proving that you should never be friends with Jessica Fletcher or come anywhere near Dyke’s Dr. Mark Sloan – at least if you want to make it out alive. The 5-disc set features all 19 first season episodes, plus the Jake and the Fatman episode that introduced Sloan.

It’s complete popcorn, but that’s the appeal of Lucky Number Slevin (Weinstein Company, Rated R, DVD-$29.95 SRP) – a bang-up dust-up that finds a young man named Slevin (Josh Hartnett) caught between two rival crime bosses (Morgan Freeman & Ben Kingsley), on the run from an assassin (Bruce Willis) and fending off the advances of his neighbor (Lucy Liu). It’s a pulpy romp perfect for a Fall viewing on a cold Saturday night. Bonus features include audio commentaries, deleted scenes (with an alternate ending), a making-of featurette, and the theatrical trailer.

As Mark Evanier is fond of saying, even sub-par Laurel and Hardy is better than no Laurel and Hardy. The three films found in the second Laurel and Hardy Collections (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$34.98 SRP) are certainly not the boys’ best work. The three flicks featured are The Dancing Masters, The Bullfighters, and A-Haunting We Will Go, and all 3 feature commentaries with L&H scholars, featurettes, trailers, and Fox Movietone News footage.

Despite the inordinate amount of buzz it’s generated and the dedicated fanbase it’s engendered, I still can’t get into Grey’s Anatomy (Buena Vista, Not Rated, DVD-$59.99 SRP). Every time I’ve tried to sit down and watch an episode, I’ve come out the other side feeling like I’ve just viewed an overindulgent soap opera that consistently “borrows” plots and jokes from Scrubs. Still, there are legions of fans out there, and I’m sure they’ll devour the new 6-disc set featuring all 27 episodes from Grey‘s sophomore season, including four extended episodes, a cast Q&A, interviews, deleted scenes, behind-the-scenes featurettes, and more.

Some dismiss it as prog-rock pap, but I can’t help but get a warm and fuzzy feeling from Jeff Lynne’s completely bombastic orchestral tour de forces contained in every Electric Light Orchestra album. They’re just so unashamedly over-the-top that it’s hard to resist their goofy, catchy charm. Another trio of ELO albums have gotten the remastered treatment – Face The Music, A New World Record and On The Third Day (Sony Legacy, $11.98 SRP each) – with each disc containing a clutch of bonus tracks.

Any all-ages book of general knowledge and trivia that promises that the meaning of life can be found on page 42 automatically gets kudos from me, and the fact that the rest of Pick Me Up (DK, $29.99 SRP) is just as fun and informative – even for an adult. From a series of “what ifs” that explore the first two World Wars to naked mole rats to the reason no one can live forever (simple statistics), it’s chock full of so much fascinating goodness that once you pick it up, it’s hard to put down. I’ve always wanted to know what a Viking girl might post in her blog…

Akeelah And The Bee (Lionsgate, Rated PG, DVD-$28.98 SRP) reminded me of a sweet mash-up of Finding Forrester, Searching For Bobby Fisher, and an After-School Special. Young Akeelah Anderson has one dream – to make it to the National Spelling Bee, and like Pollyanna before her, she united all around her in her quest. Bonus features include deleted scenes, behind-the-scenes featurettes, a music video, and a gag reel.

While lesser lights of the DC animated universe (granted, I still can’t stand the latter), fans can pick up the complete second seasons of Teen Titans and The Batman (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP each). Both 2-disc sets feature all 13 episodes, but the sole bonus features are season one recap featurettes.

With his recent expulsion from Paramount – and the fact that he’s nuttier than a Xenu fruitcake – Fox might be reconsidering their idea of placing a sticker touting the fact that Taps (Fox, Rated PG, DVD-$19.98 SRP) was his second film role. The film is still a nice little character piece, benefiting from a new special edition featuring a commentary from director Harold Becker, a behind-the-scenes featurette, a look at the origins of playing “Taps,” and TV spots. Time to start scraping those stickers off, tho.

With the merger of Disney and Pixar, I sincerely hope that we won’t see the awkward, cheapie likes of The Wild (Walt Disney, Rated G, DVD-$29.99 SRP) again, with its poor animation and lame script. Bonus features on the disc include deleted scenes with optional commentary, and a blooper reel.

In it’s soap-filled three seasons, Las Vegas (Universal, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP) has truly become a latter-day Love Boat, packed to the rafters with B- and C-list guest stars (the third season alone features Ron Jeremy, Rachel Leigh Cook, Dennis Rodman, Dean Cain, and more), all under the watchful eye of Captain Steubing, played here by James Caan. The 3rd season set features all 23 episodes, plus a time-lapse featurette on the building of the new hotel and a gag reel.

If chasing down individual figures in order to complete a set of your favorite bust-ups is just too time-consuming for you, then Gentle Giant has made your life a whole lot easier by packaging sets together – in fact, right now you can pick up the complete set of all 7 Star Wars: Bounty Hunters (Gentle Giant, $29.99 SRP), featuring brand-new sculpts of your favorite rogues, plus Darth Vader. You know you want them.

So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

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