PROLOGUE: EUROPE, 1300’s.
We knew our place, didn’t we? You had your kings, your peasants, butchers, blacksmiths. It was all pretty cut and dry. Then along came that blasted Renaissance and ruined everything! And you know what, in my opinion, was one of it’s most appalling effects? The belief that we can be MORE! We don’t have to bake bread just because we’re the baker’s son! Nay! We can be a blacksmith if we want to! We have that freedom! And thus, THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS was born!! Little did we realize that freedom, as it was being presented to us, came with quite a few constraints.

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA. PRESENT.
The epicenter of that noble pursuit. People come to this, the second largest city in the United States, to pursue their passions. Actors, musicians, drag queens. Following dreams (what is America without them?). Here, there is no limit to happiness.

AND HEREIN LIES THE PROBLEM.
Here’s what they don’t tell you on the “Freedom: Hell Yeah!” brochure: everyone ELSE gets their freedom, too; they can be a butcher, a blacksmith. And pretty soon millions of people are sharing your same dream. Applying for the same job. And if you’re going to have even a shot at that job, you’d better be great.

AMBITION MAKES ME LOOK PRETTY UGLY.
The majority of our twenties and thirties are spent focusing on this confounding need to get ahead. I myself go out for over a hundred acting roles every year. I get three. At best. And that’s considered pretty good, by Hollywood standards. But to be quite honest, it’s not enough for me. I want more. I am, afterall, a red-blooded Amer.I.CAN. There is no ceiling in my neverending quest for MORE. If I just had a little MORE! What endless joy! I could finally be content, just like that one guy. What’s his name? Oh, yeah:

MEL GIBSON. ARRESTED FOR DUI IN MALIBU, CA.
Okay, maybe the guy’s just off his rocker. Maybe he’s simply an anti-semitic drunk (as if that’s “simple”). Either way, I think we owe Mel a big round of applause. We now have a glimpse of what happens when you finally have EVERYTHING. You’ve seen the mug shot. For whatever reason, Mel got trashed, made some ethnic slurs, spouted some threats to a man in uniform, and got arrested. In one night, he managed to do what took Mr. Cruise months to show the world: that at the top, at the very pinnacle of “success” lies MORE unrest, more unhappiness. It’s side effects are a keen self-delusion and, in Mel’s case, chemical dependency. Is this what we’re pursuing?

I AM NOT A FAILURE. EXCEPT IN MY OWN WEAK HEART.
I bring this up, possibly, to quell the recent disappontment I’ve been facing. Losing our investors on “Take Me Home” was difficult, but I think it’s best to see it as only a process. It is not the end, it is not the beginning. If we’re going to continue with this film, which we most certainly are, I can’t let the lows OR the highs get the best of me.

I expected things to happen quickly for this movie. Because they have not, I have a choice: 1. I can beat myself up for not pursuing it hard enough, OR
2. I can accept wherever we are in the process.

Why is #2 so hard to achieve? Are we simply wired to want MORE, NOW? I’m not sure. But to make this project simply about the end result (the finished film) would be a shame. There’s too much living to be done in the meantime.

-Sam Jaeger

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