What’s up, Quick Stoppers?  Double A here and I’ve got some good news and bad news for you.  First. . .the good news.  M.C. is on vacation right now, so you Pearl Jam fans need not worry about anyone poking fun at mumbling Eddie and One Trick Pony’s.  Nope.  You’re not going to get one joke about [INSERT RUDE PEARL JAM JOKE HERE] this week.  Not gonna happen.  You see, apparently M.C. heard some rumors at Comic Con and, as a result, has headed back to California in search of  Walt’s frozen head (read: he’s going to Disneyland).  He’s always said that he “has the heart of a small child,” but I just assumed he was referring to whatever the fuck that is in that jar of Formaldehyde on his desk.  

Oh, and if you’re reading M.C?  I hear it’s buried under the “Pirates of the Caribbean” ride.  So, at any rate, while he’s away. . .umm, well, that’s the bad news.  Are you ready for this?    Perhaps you should sit down. . .maybe get a little comfort food in your tum-tum’s.  You see, with M.C. gone, I’m left to hold down the fort here at Music for the Masses.

Now, just hold on a minute there, kiddies.  Don’t go getting your panties in a wad.  I’m not here to change things up a whole bunch and you’re not going to get 3 rap reviews.  Sure DMX came out with a new one, but really, who cares?   Exactly.  See. . .I’ve just discovered something vastly better, or should I say re-discovered something better.  Much like Leonard Nimoy, for a while I have been in search of something.  Get it?  That was a reference to his show called In Search of… where he, you know, searched for stuff. 

Anyways, in a desperate attempt to get back a piece of my childhood, I have been searching for anything and everything that I can get my hands on for the group that is credited with giving me my interest in rap music:  The Fat Boys.  Yes I know that it’s kind of odd, but as an impressionable young man with a slight weight problem The Fat Boys opened up a whole new world musically.  Without them I would never have moved into Run DMC.  I would have never listened to early Beastie Boys.  And I certainly wouldn’t have picked up Vanilla Ice’s To the Extreme.  Wait, I probably shouldn’t have admitted that.  Oh well, what’s said is said.  What follows is somewhat of a review and somewhat of a retrospective.  Friends, I give you The Fat Boys.

1983 was a year full of ups and downs.  Two classic tales came to an end in M*A*S*H and the original Star Wars Trilogy but other franchises such as the A-Team and the first of the Vacation films were there to pick up the slack.  Musical wise, two of the great bluesmen in Muddy Waters and Slim Pickins passed on paving the way for new “musicians” Michelle Branch and William Hung.  With all that going on, enter three young men from Brooklyn, Mark “Prince Markie Dee” Morales, Darren “Human Beat Box” Robinson and Damon “Kool Rock-ski” Wimbley, who called themselves Disco 3.

Entering the renowned Coca-Cola/Tin Pan Apple rap contest at the radio City Music Hall, Disco 3 easily won on the strength of Robinson’s beat boxing.  Legend has it that the boys originally entered the contest solely to win the second place prize of a new stereo, but eagerly accepted the recoding contract that came with the win.  With the studio time in hand, Disco 3 unleashed the track “Reality” on the unsuspecting world.  Touring in support of their new release, the groups manager was shocked when he was presented a 350 dollar hotel bill for “extra breakfasts.”  Jokingly the manager suggested that Disco 3 should take the name The Fat Boys.  I guess you can tell what happened next.  

The Fat Boys first album, The Fat Boys was released in 1984, and is arguably their best album.  Featuring the classic songs “Fat Boys” and “Jailhouse Rap” this album showed that while the group leaned toward the comedy side of the genre, the boys could actually rap.  The beats were simple but great and added a bit of fun to the intentionally funny rhymes.  The best song on the disc though is “Human Beat Box.”  You’ve probably head someone beat boxing, but I can tell you, you haven’t really heard it till you hear the master do it.  And Robinson was indeed the master.  

The groups second album The Fat Boys Are Back came out a year later, offering up the same type of wackiness that the original release had.  This time out though, the Boys brought in some outside influences to help the music out.  The reggae infused and aptly titled “Hard Core Reggae” and the rock styled and even more accurately titled “Rock-N-Roll” fill out an album that also features another Human Beat Box showcase.  While The Fat Boys Are Back is not as good as the first album, it is still a fine album which shows The Fat Boys were still firmly in their element.  That same year the group made their first foray into another medium, playing roles in the 1985 movies Knights of the City and Krush Groove.

After the group’s next album Big & Beautiful failed to cause any waves, many critics started proclaiming that the group was done.  But in 1987 the Boys made a big splash, and yes, that pun was intended.  1987 saw the release of two Fat Boys projects, the album Crushin’ and the group’s first staring roles in the movie Disorderlies.  Disorderlies introduced the group to a whole new audience that snapped up the album, giving the group their only platinum selling disc.  Seriously, who could forget the video for the single “Wipeout”?  Fat guys on surfboards in front of green screens?  Pure gold!

Riding the high from Crushin’ and Disorderlies The Fat Boys released Coming Back Hard Again, their last album that could be called a success.  Featuring another cover in “Louie, Louie”, the album mostly stayed true to what the group had done in the past… make fun songs that anyone can get into.  The highlights of Coming Back Hard Again are “Big Daddy’ and “Pig Feet,” both of which point out the obvious that the group really, really likes to eat.

But, much like the aforementioned fat guy on a surfboard, the ride didn’t last long.  The 1989 album On and On is described as a “rap-opera.”  Sadly, the music buying public didn’t understand what was going on, and the album tanked quicker than Mel Gibson at a swanky Hollywood party.  The failure of On and On signaled the end for the group and the three members went their separate ways shortly after.  Still yearning to entertain the masses, Robinson and Wimbley got back together long enough to record 1991’s Mack Daddy.  The new incarnation of The Fat Boys tried to shy away from their past success and opted to try out a new sound that was obviously influenced by the likes of Public Enemy and other rappers of that time.  While the disc wasn’t bad – the song “Tonight” is really good - but the album just didn’t have the same magic that the group had previously had. 

In 1992, Morales had marginal success with his solo album, Free, but he has had bigger success as a producer working with Mary J. Blige, Destiny’s Child and Mariah Carrey.  After Mack Daddy, Wimbley dropped off the radar, only to surface again in 1995 when he, Robinson and Morales began working on a Fat Boys reunion album.  Unfortunately that project never saw the light of day.  On December 10^th of that year, Robinson died of a heart attack, thus ending The Fat Boys. 

Over the years there have been a few Best of… albums, but the only one of merit is 1997’s All Meat No Filler.  This album is truly a greatest hits album.  Every song on this album is worthwhile.  There are a few problems with it, though.  First of all, there are several songs that didn’t make the cut that should have been included, most notably “Pump It Up” and “Rock-N-Roll.”  Secondly, this album is damn near impossible to find.  It has become my holy grail.  I have scoured several used records all over the country and have yet to find it.  Even the magic machine that is the internet has failed to provide me with this album.  Sure, you can find whatever sick and twisted porn you want, but the second you try to find music, you get shut down faster than I did on prom night.

Well folks, I hope you enjoyed this walk down memory lane.  Do yourself a favor – if you never listened to The Fat Boys, search them out.  They are truly one of the greatest acts of their generation.  Oh, and they made me the man I am today… here’s an artists rendering.

 

Send your maps to Disney’s head, review copies, presents and assorted hate mail to:

M.C. Bell
P.O. Box 1222
Arvada, CO 80001

 

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