Welcome back. Thank you for returning once again to my little shoebox in middle of road. Let’s get down to business, shall we?

[CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and has been known to make concerned parents’ faces melt off a la final reel of Raiders.

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DJ B-Naut, who I namecheck within, has some of his stuff here. Enjoy.

That’s right, kids, that means it’s time for another session of Monday Morning Box Office Quarterbacking. Make sure you follow along at Box Office Mojo.

Miami Vice finally knocks Pirates off its pedestal, but…not by much. And still, $25 mil isn’t a lot when you consider the damn movie took $135 million to make. So they’ve got a long way to go. And I honestly think it’s going to lose out next weekend to Ricky Bobby. So we’ll see.

Pirates 2 is about to break $600 million worldwide. Je-sus Christ. And it’s probably got three weeks left on the top ten here.

John Tucker Must Die, which I know nothing about except Betty Thomas directed it, was the #2 performer on a per-cinema basis, so rock on with their bad selves and…hey, look at that, with only $18 million invested, they’ll be making profit real soon. What a concept.

Monster House dropped 48% in its second weekend, but it’s got to be feeling better about itself than Ant Bully. Did anyone think that film looked like a good idea? Hey, I know…let’s revisit ants for a third CGI movie! Please.

Dupree dropped and is out on its way out, no doubt due to the outcry of Steely Dan fans. Kidding. But still, it will need to make its money back on video. Again, this is Kate Hudson. What is wrong with you people?

Lady in the Water is sinking like a stone. I had no idea until just this past week that Night cast himself as the most important writer in the world or some such nonsense. Good grief. I would never have cast Night as anything other than “The Writer Who Botched the Ending of Unbreakable.” WTF.

Hey, let’s take a moment to consider: the three biggest mistakes in the top eleven films this weekend…were all from Warner Brothers. Gotta suck to work over there this summer.

The terrifying Little Man isn’t making money yet, but it’ll be one of those “Well, we’ve watching everything else in the video store, let’s grab that,” or as many of my friends these days would term it, “I can’t help it–it was in my NetFlix queue and it showed up. I felt compelled to watch it.” So.

Devil Wears Prada, the best scheduling job of the summer, prepares to exit the Top Ten and more power to them. If they’re smart, they’ll do a really sweet special edition on DVD to nab more coin.

And Clerks 2 is ready to leave the Top Ten as well, but it does so with its head held high: it’s already quite profitable and I’m sure it will have a video shelf life like nobody’s business.

Join us next time for when we’ll see if Will Ferrell will be laughing all the way to the bank as I suspect he will.

Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

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