About an hour and a half into Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest it dawned on me: I had abso-frickingly no clue what was happening. None. I saw Johnny. Heard Orlando’s breathy dialect. Marveled at Keira seemingly trying to suck the entire Caribbean into her mouth. And still, NO CLUE. Afterwards, I turned to my buddy Jeff Seibenick (also known as “The Great Seib”) who shared the same sentiment. “I couldn’t tell you what happened,” he said, “but how great was that ending!?”

In the aftermath of the film, its onslaught of special effects still reeling in my head, I started wondering where we’re heading. See, as part of my Promise #5 to you guys (TO EXAMINE AMERICA’S DELETERIOUS CONNECTION TO FILM AND THE REFUSAL TO ACCEPT ITS POST-ATOMIC SOCIAL EVOLUTION), I think I owe it to you to say, flat out, I was disappointed by the theme park ride-turned-convoluted sequel. I know! What the hell’s wrong with me?!

Honestly, I’m not here to bash any film. That’s not what this blog is about. It’s about how WE, being the “little guys”, get our movies made and get them SEEN (that last part’s a biggie). What do we have that the majors don’t? What hope is there of some couple getting a babysitter and driving across town on a Saturday night to see a “Take Me Home” over a “Superman Returns”? And here’s the answer, or my answer, at least: There’s got to be something else.

Now, I’ll be honest, I was at Superman Returns opening night. Same for Pirates and X-Men: United. But I was mildly disappointed to majorly bummed-out by all three of those flicks. How is that possible? All I want is to be entertained, right? All I want is a little Keira Knightly pouty-lip thing. And yet…

Summer movies are like chinese food; tastes good, but it goes right through you, doesn’t it? There’s no sustenance. And what’s worse, what nobody wants to admit is that the independents aren’t much better.

Film critic Pauline Kael once remarked about the great divide forming between the majors and indies. The point she was making was really how, back in the 70’s, “small” films still had huge themes (see Coppola’s The Conversation). But nowadays, people go see independent films simply because they want something that doesn’t blow up in their face. You know, something without Bruce Willis.

The bottom line is this: I want something that sticks; something I can’t shake. And whose responsibility is that? The studio that made “Poseidon”? Hardly. Let’s lay blame squarely on the shoulders of schmucks like me: young, independent filmmakers. The aim of the big studios is simple: make the big movies BIGGER (and theoretically, more profitable). But for us, for the wee people, what’s our aim? To make small movies with no boom-boom? To make clever films that will lead to BIGGER second films?

Or, how ’bout this: we try our best to make great films that nobody else would dare to make. I think we can do it; I think we’ve got a lot to say. Maybe we’ve become too apathetic to say it. Maybe you’re not a filmmaker; maybe just a fan. If so, ask yourself this: when was the last time you talked about a movie more than five minutes after the credits rolled?

Now, is Take Me Home going to change the American lexicon? Doubt it. Will it entertain? By gummit’, yes! Will you leave the theater with plenty to say? That’s my hope.

In case you were wondering, Take Me Home is a comedy about a woman who gets into a cab in New York and convinces the driver to take her across the entire United States. That’s really it, in a nutshell. Now, if you wanted to crack that nutshell, you’d find a story about two pathetically lonely people on a trip together, one in a failing marriage, the other in a dwindling career. Two people with nothing in common but the country passing their window. Maybe a little bit about desperation, about how unfulfilling the pursuit of the American Dream can be, about how badly we want to put our trust in someone else. That’s all.

Will those messages come across on the big screen? Will the movie even make it to the big screen? No idea. But we’re trying our damnedest. And we thank you for your support.

And now, back to Poseidon II: Electric Boogaloo!

-Sam Jaeger

 

 

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