Welcome back. Thank you for returning once again to my little janitor’s closet of the net. Let’s get down to business, shall we?

[CONTENT WARNING] This podcast contains foul language and has caused ferrets to spontaneously combust. Which is never a bad thing.

DOWNLOAD: mp3 Format (31.7 MBs)

Oh, and here’s the article I mention in the podcast. Read it.

That’s right, kids, that means it’s time for another session of Monday Morning Box Office Quarterbacking. Make sure you follow along at Box Office Mojo.

Pirates continues to surprise. I mean, I thought it was a decent movie: but $320 million decent? Je-sus. Anyway, I figured with all the various pics opening this weekend we would have seen it drop to maybe #2, but nope, it stood strong and still brought in $8K a cinema on average. Damn.

Monster House opens in second place, which against the Johnny Depp Cash Machine is about the best you can do, apparently. Little CG family entertainment never hurt anybody…we suppose.

Lady in the Water, interestingly enough, is the lowest opening M. Night’s had for a wide opening film. I guess he pissed more people off with The Village than he had at first anticipated. And really, the commercials for the film were terrible. I don’t know what they were thinking. The interviews and summaries all make it out like a dark fairy tale, while the commercials just went “Ooooh, M. Night = spooky! SPOOKY! DO YOU HEAR US YELLING SPOOKY?”

You, Me and Dupree drops only forty percent in its second weekend, which is pretty impressive considering, well, it’s a dumb comedy and also look at what all it was up against.

Little Man drops around fifty percent in its second weekend, also impressive considering that it’s a really dumb comedy. But it doesn’t matter, this is one of those things that will have a rental life like you wouldn’t believe. For better or for worse.

Clerks 2 is probably the only film this year that will become profitable after its first three days of being in cinemas. Which is sad, but true. Sad for the other films, mind you. And this thing will have killer DVD sales on top of whatever it makes. And as I make mention of in the podcast, it’s probably the first film where the sequel tripled, in its first weekend, the box office take of its predecessor.

My Super Ex-Girlfriend…this was a bit of a surprise, honestly. Only $8M and in seventh place? It had Uma Thurman plus a Wilson brother–what could have gone wrong? Maybe it struck a little too close to home for a lot of guys. I dunno. I still think the bit with the shark was classic, though.

Superman Returns. Well, the character hasn’t been this weak since Grant Morrison started writing him. Just pathetic.

And lastly, Devil and Cars are both on their way out.

Join us next time for when we’ll be talking about either the triumph or crashing of Michael Mann and what will probably be the crashing of Ant Bully.

Special thanks to Exit Mindbomb for letting me use “Godzilla Will Rule You” from their album Happy Accident for my new WGO music. Check them out on MySpace here and I tried to link up as many songs as I could here.

Widgett Walls is the chief cook and bottle washer for Needcoffee.com. He’s also the author of Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point and Magnificent Desolation. His personal blog is at OneTusk.com, which he updates when he feels like it. He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.

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