Director: Michael Cuesta
Cast: Linus Roache, Annabella Sciorra, Jeremy Renner, Jayne Atkinson, Marcia Debonis
Release: May 19, 2006
Synopsis: Explores the complexities of children losing their innocence and adults struggling to guide them. In the suburbs of America, three close knit 12-year-olds ñ introverted Jacob (Conor Donovan), precocious Malee (Zoe Weizenbaum) and vulnerable Leonard (Jesse Camacho) — start down the path of self-discovery.

Prognosis: Positive. This one is a head scratcher.

You don’t really want to desperately see this movie like you would a SUPERMAN when you see Routh milling around in his tight red Speedo briefs but you feel a certain uneasiness when you try and grasp exactly what it is that’s happening, I’m not sure I do know, though, what it is that I am supposed to be identifying with, a key component in any good grab for one’s attention or cash, but I like it; I appreciate the sentiment that I’m not entirely comfortable by trailer’s end.

While I know that this is not going to be a gleeful romp through this coming-of-age tale you’re instantly drawn into what seems like a rather poignant set-up: identical twins who don’t share much in common and who have a troubled time relating to one another.

We have our collective attention switched to two friends of the twins, one who happens to be fat; and I can’t understand why there needs to always be the fat friend in movies with kids. You need to look no further than most every kid movie and see where there is an obvious chunky collective at work here. I’m not saying it’s as organized as, let’s say, the mafia but there is something afoot. Of course the fat kid is eating in the first scene we’re shown and I am floored by the other friend’s declaration, who happens to be female, that she is now able to be with, and care for, a child.

(Insert surprise here)

This is not going to be Disney’s THE SANDLOT.

So, the quad squad gets themselves a tree house, get into a little tiff with what seems like an ornery kid of East Coast dialect (I mean, really, aren’t all kids with New Yawk accents just thieves-in-training?) threatens to kill one, or all as these East Coasters are just murderous little shiats, and then ends up accidentally killing one of the twins.

The bleakness and quiet that the next moment inspires of seeing the blanketed coffin is disquieting.

After we move on from the death we get an odd theme of sexual awakening by the girl in the trio and then rage by the single twin who confronts the alleged killer while in prison; sex and violence, I guess, like a two birds and a feather. The violence takes the next step as the girl produces something off screen while in a room with the dejected brother but I think we all can safely say it’s a heater of some caliber.

The subsequent montage of clips that don’t really have any adhesion outside of just giving us more opportunities to see these kids’ environment is actually useful here. It’s good for three reasons: 1) The soundtrack is inspired. A modern “Don’t Fear The Reaper” fits in a macabre way. 2) The quotes that this movie has garnered are solid, the film festival locations this has played at are pimped quickly. 3) We actually get an abstract way of relating to these kids’ world. The clips are effective at relaying movement and emotion.

I’m not comfortable when we finally finish things here but that’s commendable. I shouldn’t be after seeing how complex things will get in this flick as Cuesta’s L.I.E. wasn’t a smooth pill to swallow so I shouldn’t be expecting anything less than a story that’s uniquely his own to tell.

Director: Martin Campbell
Cast: Daniel Craig, Judi Dench
Release: November 17, 2006
Synopsis: James Bond must thwart a dangerous Russian spy from winning a game of cards worth millions.

Prognosis: Positive. Yes.

This is what this franchise needed.

I don’t purport to know Bond lore any more than I have a handle on the Harry Potter series; it’s not much, I don’t have any interest knowing more than I do and, most importantly, I’m just here for the ride.

However, knowing what I do about 007 and the enduring iconoclast symbol he represents for British folk, as he shatters the notion of all Brits having teeth that could pop open deadbolts and bodies that are pastier than white paint, this is exactly what I’ve come to expect from this kind of film: guns, explosions, chicks who have no other purpose than to be objectified by a Cro-Magnon throwback and fast cars.

And, to wit, give it up for the sly entrance into this trailer. Instead of going the route of blazing through the aforementioned delicious bits that make every Bond film a variation on a theme we get Judi Dench doing the voiceover. Now, even though I had to look up whether her perennial character was named M or Q, again, I don’t have a firm grasp on these things, it’s quite moot because of how wonderfully this thing opens up.

“This may be too much for a blunt instrument to understand…”

I like the mystique that’s being created with the initial black and white scenes that we’re given. Sure, we could have been given that distinctive 007 instrumental suite with Craig walking before shooting the screen with that lame ass blood effect, a calling card that really should be revamped. No, we get something different. The voiceover that Dench does is actually pretty good as, unbeknownst to the dudes who are drawn to these films, it subverts in its own way the established masculine overtones these films are unquestionably all about.

Craig, in slow-mo, beats down dudes in hand-to-hand combat whilst being a patient listener to Dench’s assessment of the kind of operative a 00 should be.

“I understand that 00’s have a very short life expectancy.”

Yes, Craig has it. He’s got that ability to be glib and smarmy while being flirtatious. He’s also has that look of dangerousness. It’s there and as the trailer transitions from black and white to color you see that he’s everything that a disposable Bond should be.

I do have to suffer through the animation of Craig “shooting” the camera but as it’s a device used to accentuate the transition, much like SIN CITY used red in it its initial trailer, and this is where we move from just meeting Craig to seeing him move within the character.

Now, we don’t see a lot of stability for the duration of this teaser but that’s just the nature of these things; especially because people want to get whetted for what’s to come this piece of promotion has to just hint. With the elaborate action sequences shown, the car that will be Craig’s little coupe and the lingering gaze we’re allowed to spend on some faceless woman getting out of the water in a bathing suit I would say this is more than just a satisfactory teaser.

Director: Pierre Morel
Cast: Cyril Raffaelli, David Belle, Tony D’amario, Bibi Naceri, Dany Verissimo
Release: June 2, 2006
Synopsis: Paris, 2010. An isolation wall surrounds the ghetto cities. Damien is a member of the police elite task force. This time, the government has assigned him the most extreme expedition of his entire career: a weapon of mass destruction has been stolen by the most powerful gang of District B13.

Prognosis: Postive. Excellent concept but wretched execution.

I would like to think trailers like this serve a purpose beyond just pimping their own films, These are little examples by which to observe and take away little bits of ideas, ways of doing things. Much like in the case for this trailer there is also the opportunity to state what isn’t such a good idea when trying to get people interested to make an effort to see your film.

The idea with the trailer, especially one that is making a voyage beyond its own little borders, is that you want to start people thinking that they have to see it, need to see it. When you use that faux computer screen with the green letters as icons you not only are saying that you still believe people are communicating in Dos and don’t have a basic understanding on how modern GUI interfaces have vastly improved since the Apple IIe but you’re also stating that this story takes place in 2010, thus, rendering your visualization of said computer screen a sad attempt at trying to seem technologically with it.

See, I don’t want to sound harsh as this trailer opens up solidly. You have the sound of a helicopter humming in the audio foreground as you peep the barbwired walls of desolate cement ghettos. Quickly you see that these aren’t desolate areas at all and are filled with many people. You do, though, get acquainted with the kind of police state, a heavily armed police state, that these people are living in.

Black screen, green computer letters: “Paris…2010”

The “ugh” begins as this “harsh” new reality reveals that the streets are run by the rejects from THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS. Driving souped up Yugo’s and the like it appears to be that the gangs who control what happens are about to come into possession of a nuclear weapon.

Now, the cinematography harkens back to the salad days of the first TRANSPORTER and I’m not disappointed to know that the story is explained even further by our green screen companion that “the lone cop…that is sent to stop them…” establishes our protagonist.

I’m confused.

At first I thought we were dealing with just these little gangs in post-apocalyptic France but now we’ve got a French Jason Statham getting buck wild with these perps. I get ready to go absolutely monkey shines on this concept but something quite important changes my mind: we get another protagonist thrown into the mix.

Instead of just one Jason Statham we get two. Not only that but these guys are acrobatic on the level of a Tony Jaa mixed in with those dudes who did those leaping commercials for Nike a couple of years ago; they were French I believe, as well.

The end result has me eating all sorts of crow about how goofy this was getting. The stunts here are just a joy to watch as you try and figure out the logistics of a man running across the vertical façade of a building. We get hipped to the fact that the producers of BOTH TRANSPORTER 2 and ONG-BAK have diddled with this story and like a connoisseur who can tell vintage from swill I feel vindicated by the knowledge that this movie has their kind of fingerprints on the screen.

I do, however, have advice for these people promoting the movie: getting it established early, the people behind this film, would be a good thing in stoking giddiness. If I didn’t know better I would’ve just rolled on to another trailer but I had to wait literally until this trailer was all done to find out what pedigree this film had.

Selling a foreign film is tough enough without having to make dumb mistakes like this but I would lose nearly the entire first half and just launch into the ass kicking and explosions. Sorry, but it’s the truth.

The last half of this trailer brims with excitement, passion, violence, martial arts and the hint that one could enjoy 90 minutes of this; I sure as shit would after seeing what these two dudes can do. It’s far too small of a world to be sitting on this kind of flick for just regional audiences to enjoy. I want to watch other countries’ ass kickers, too.

Count me in on this one but just clean up this trailer.

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