September 6, 2005
Sacred Heart Hospital
11 am

They finally hired some hot, new nurses. Yes, new blood! And new boobs for me to name. That’s the first thing I do when I see a new nurse, name her boobs. I got right on it and named 16 boobs before 9 am. It’s like I’m in the army, I do more before 9 am then most people do all day. My new favorites are Sloppy and Mr. Snuggles. Anyway, enough about boobs – wait a minute, it’s never enough about boobs, but moving on.

Jordan, Dr. Cox’s wife and a member of the board of directors, is spending a lot of time at the hospital. Don’t want to get on that crazy lady’s bad side. She’ll have me holding back fat flaps in every surgical procedure for the next 6 months if I even look at her the wrong way. She is kind of hot, though. She’s tall and athletic, I’ll bet she used to play volleyball, in a bikini. I can see it now. Her specialty was spiking the ball over the net. I’d let her spike me. She can spike me anytime she wants. Oh, spike me Jordan, spike me. I’ve been bad, spike me.

I noticed Jordan’s getting suckered by that crack addict patient Sam. I can’t believe people are gullible enough to fall for what patients tell them. Anyway, I’m so excited, this really hot patient gave me her number and said she really wants to date me. Her number is 555-23451. I’ll call her when I find time later today.

What’s with Carla? I told her about a great new dive bar I found and how they have great bar food, great nachos, and all she did was laugh at me. I don’t get it, if she’s not into an extra large, sweet, hot and spicy Enchiladas, maybe she should go somewhere else. I think the Rawhide makes the best one around. Oh well. I’ll go there with some dudes, we’ll each have a Enchilada and watch the game.

Last week I had been pumping up so much, I decided to get a massage. All the women were booked, so this dude Carlos gave me the massage. While I was laying on the table, face down, looking through that hole where your head goes, I noticed Carlos had recently gotten a pedicure. Not only that, he wore a toe ring and some clear nail polish. I think I might get a pedicure this week and see what all the fuss is about. I’m on my feet in surgery for hours at a time, might as well be good to my toes… feet are hot, they’re sexy… not Carlos’ feet, women’s feet. I’m rambling now, so later….

Foot Five!

From The Todd

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