Director: James McTeigue
Cast: Natalie Portman, James Purefoy, Stephen Rea
Release: March 17, 2006
Synopsis: Set against the futuristic landscape of totalitarian Britain, V For Vendetta tells the story of a mild-mannered young woman named Evey (Portman) who is rescued from a life-and-death situation by a masked vigilante (Purefoy) known only as “V.” Incomparably charismatic and ferociously skilled in the art of combat and deception, V ignites a revolution when he detonates two London landmarks and takes over the government-controlled airwaves, urging his fellow citizens to rise up against tyranny and oppression. As Evey uncovers the truth about V’s mysterious background, she also discovers the truth about herself – and emerges as his unlikely ally in the culmination of his plot to bring freedom and justice back to a society fraught with cruelty and corruption.

With a full head of hair in the beginning, as she’s shaking and quivering from the uncertainty of being interrogated in the old school, Starsky and Hutch ways, with a bright GE 100-Watt, “Gentle enough to read by, bright enough to live with…”, being shoved in her face, she’s harkening back to an older time. It was during HEAT, when she’s lost her hair thingy and she’s flippin’ out to her ice queen of a mother and she’s shaking her poodle perm back and forth as she says she can’t be late. I somehow felt this urge to shave that melon right then, but here, when they show they do it, it’s wonderful. Her reaction isn’t like that of a Pauly Shore in IN THE ARMY NOW, but what really could top that, really?

The trailer, though, is masterfully rendered.

While there really isn’t anything that’s done, cinematography wise, to make me feel that the environment is anything less than a soundstage I am still engaged fully with it.

What’s odd is that when she’s asked if she’s going to cooperate with The Man, in finding our dude, V, and when you know she’s going to give the requisite “No” in complete defiance, as she’s wearing some potato sack and looking like a raccoon who’s been tucked away in a barrel for a few months with the rings around her eyes, she gives that “No” and the spirit of Keanu-speak slithers ever so quietly through the speakers.

Things then kick up with the Hitler Youth rally that seems to indicate that the world’s turned into a police state where everyone snitches on each other and that terrorism here is another way to see how the George W. Bush administration has turned the whole world…blah blah blah. The idea of the police state and how Natalie is caught up in this web of government control is a good one that’s executed with some good visual aplomb; even though, again, the cinematography and direction is a bit limp, I am still groovin’ on what’s happening.

“From the creators of the Matrix trilogy”

So, we get our V for Vendetta guy. He twirls his little daggers around like he’s part of a new faction of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that’s crashed into the style of Zorro Gone Wayward. The little wisps of hair that flow like air around his head as he’s delivering a little outsider justice, that mask staying in perfect place as he twirls around, is nice to look at. The guy looks like quite the bad ass. Although, after Natalie listens to how the government made V into the man he is, the line “Then they’ve created a monster” throws my eyeballs back into my skull as I thought that Moore was a better writer than to write something so hokey. I am quickly reminded, though, that he is more than perturbed with the way things went on this production so I feel 90% that wasn’t his doing.

The scenes leading up to the final money shot galore fest help, if nothing else, define what this movie is really about. It juxtaposes the theme of the story, that totalitarian rule over a populace that is so paralyzed by their own complacency is just accepted as fact, with the notion that this guy, V, isn’t a terrorist so much as he is a galvanizing force that tries to help, while harming, those who would just take it in the balloon knots and not so much as say boo about it.

The explosions that trigger our descent into London, circa whenever, are fairly sweet. Our knife wielding protagonist rails against our bad guys, his full-on mop whipping around his head like a showgirl’s wig, and stuff is just blowing up left and right. The bomb strapped to V’s body with his thumb on the slivery trigger is a nice touch.

Director: Werner Herzog
Cast: Amie Huguenard, Timothy Treadwell
Release: August 12, 2005 (Limited)
Synopsis: A devastating and heart-wrenching take on grizzly bear activists Timothy Treadwell and Amie Huguenard, who were killed in October of 2003 while living among grizzlies in Alaska.

I have never been one to romanticize the wonderful things that are hidden in our nation’s forest system but the sweeping views of the tree cobbled mountains that open this trailer are really nice to look at.

And, this is nice, even though you’re enjoying the view and listening to the man who tended to grizzly bears for over a decade Voiceover Guy just barrels right into the obvious when he states that one of the grizzlies he “swore to protect” killed him. That’s funny, though, in a macabre way. Yeah, a grizzly killed him, but they’re grizzlies. They’re carnivores. It doesn’t take anything away from the pacing, though. I was just adding my own reaction to the semantics of the line.

Boom, we’re right into it with some grizzlies, on their hind legs wrestling with each other. It’s a sight to see these beasts of nature so close but then we’re introduced to the bear man himself, Timothy Treadwell. It’s, seriously, a really nice gesture that they put his D.O.B. and date of death on the screen and I think it really helps, in a nuanced way, add a little something human to the moment. Now, Timothy is oblivious to the natural instinct to flee like your ass is in flames and even calls one of his grizzlies “Mr. Chocolate.”

Tim’s voice is so calm and delicate that it’s hard not to just wonder what is racing through the guy’s mind.

Interject a newspaper clip from Ebert, giving this docu a solid thumbs-up.

Tim is given some time to talk about the process of getting in close with the bears and you begin to see where his pathos starts to fragment away from what any other person with a need for self-preservation would likely do if they were in his place. Tim talks about being confronted by these bears and, instead of talking about cutting and running, he uses the metaphor of the samurai.

Interject a newspaper clip from the Times, Variety.

There is interview footage from what appears to be a helicopter pilot, rocking a Wilfred Brimley ‘stache, who essentially says Tim got what he deserved.

And that’s when things take a dark turn.

Instead of this being a celebration of what Tim did there are a good half dozen or so references that Tim makes into the camera which speak to the lethality of one thing or another about being with these bears. It’s haunting.

That’s how this trailer slowly burns out. We get some interview footage, probably post bear attack, which explains that Tim’s death among the bears was something he was willing to go through because it was something that he loved. He was crazy as all hell but I would actually like to see how Werner Herzog pieces it all together.

Director: Rob McKittrick
Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Anna Faris, Justin Long
Release: October 7, 2005
Synopsis: Young employees at Shenanigan’s restaurant collectively stave off boredom and adulthood with their antics.

Reason #2: Dane Cook. Did you read what I wrote about homeboy last week? Have you any clue what I am talking about? If you’re still clueless then clue in on to how he handles his comedic bad self in this trailer. Feel free to write in to disagree but you’re wrong even before you put your fingers onto your greasy keyboard.

The trailer opens up, oddly, with the same kind of jaunty music that opened OFFICE SPACE. I’m not sure if this is intentional but the coincidence of that movie being about jobs we all hate and this movie, which also seems to be about a job any teen who has had to get a job can relate to, is really odd.

No matter, though, as Ryan Reynolds comes bounding onto the screen, seducing the camera like a lover needing a quick hump. He’s just good that way.

The introductions to the other people who Ryan works with are a little funny. It’s nothing I would call hilarious but it’s when we come to the kitchen where the giggles, titters and the chuckles start flowing like a boxed wine with a hole in it.

A steak falls off the grill and onto the ground. Guzman, looking like the head chef, yells out to Cook. You’d expect some sort of lambasting or even a reprimand for dropping the food but he screams out, “The 5 second rule! The 5 second rule!” He starts counting off one, two, three as Cook wrangles it off the brown tile floor and laughs as he gets it onto the plate before five. That’s comedy.

We get that, after we see the kind of “hijinks” that are going on behind the doors of the restaurant and are entertained to see Guzman and Cook going at it again and we even get the idea that this R rating could be for a little sauciness with regard to the ladies. And that’s fine, you know? The world needs more movies in the vein of HOT DOG, MEATBALLS or any other brainless comedy that just plays it for laughs.

When we pick up with some of the storytelling we have Ryan being yelled at by a customer who would like their steak cooked more than it was served. In a quiet voice, Ryan turns around to the kitchen, plate in hand and we get “Ride of the Valkyries.” Dane is there to explain how he’s going to add extra gravy to the mashed potatoes (cue assistant to Dane who generates some nasal phlegm), will put a little garlic salt on her bread (cue another assistant who Ally Sheedy BREAKFAST CLUB’s their scalp to make it rain down dandruff) and they watch as the customer begins once more to eat her meal.

If you found the fortitude to enjoy VAN WILDER I am sure you’ll appreciate the approach to comedy here.

Director: Anand Tucker
Cast: Steve Martin, Claire Danes, Jason Schwartzman, Sam Bottoms, Frances Conroy, Rebecca Pidgeon, Joshua Snyder, Bridgette Wilson-Sampras, Gina Doctor, Anne Marie Howard
Release: October 21, 2005
Synopsis: Based on Steve Martin’s bestselling novella, SHOPGIRL is a funny and poignant story of love in the modern age. The film catches a glimpse inside the lives of three very different people on diverse paths, but all in search of the same thing. Mirabelle (Claire Danes) is a “plain Jane” overseeing the rarely frequented glove counter at Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills. An artist struggling to keep up with even the minimum payment on her credit card and student loans, she keeps to herself until a rich, handsome fifty something named Ray Porter (Steve Martin) sweeps her off her feet. Simultaneously, Mirabelle is being pursued by Jeremy (Jason Schwartzman), a basic bachelor who’s not quite as cultured and successful as Ray. When fate steps in, the outcome may not always be a storybook ending, because in the end…it was life.

It was called “The Pleasure of My Company” and it was alright. It was good, a little quirky in a way that some would call weird, but its resolution was a little less than I would’ve liked. If I had to really make a go at critiquing his novella writing style I would call it “needlessly ambitious.” He just tries too hard.

With this trailer, as well, I think there’s something there that makes me feel like the pretension almost excludes me as a viewer. Let me explain.

We open up in a glove parlor. I’m not sure where one goes to get long gloves or who actually stands behind a counter selling them but when Steve says that the black will do and goes about his merry way I am left thinking what I just witnessed. A guy buying gloves for his wife? Who does that? Obviously, literary people do. Ok, I’ll give him that. A little haughty, but ok.

Now, we focus on Claire. She does her washing at a Laundromat. Jason Schwartzman, who really hasn’t found lightning again since RUSHMORE, almost in I HEART HUCKABEES, insinuates himself into Claire’s life as an oddball love interest. It feels unnatural, and Claire’s understanding of Jason’s oddness which she hopes goes away, is spinning me in all sorts of confused directions.

Then, Steve pops up again. The gloves are waiting for Claire at her humble apartment as Steve wants to hit that. They even go to dinner where Steve looks rather natural as he tries to feel out the skeevy factor of his advances on a girl who is sharply younger than he is.

Click back to Jason. The two of them start dating, for reasons I don’t understand, and, watching Jason, you can’t really empathize with her because he is such an oddball loser.

Steve pops up, asks her if she’d like to dine on his private jet and she acquiesces.

Is this a story where it’s like, “Do I choose the guy who is so obviously wrong or do I chose the guy who has lots of money and privilege but could be my dad?”

Whatever the answer is, and the question actually gets asked in this trailer, I’m not sure I’d want to spend the time to find out. There’s nothing really compelling about the trailer and the story doesn’t seem that novel. What I do know, though, is that the music chosen is top notch, there are no voiceovers that get in the way, and there doesn’t seem to be an obvious answer to any questions that are posed. In that respect I give it some respect but that’s about it.

And P.S. – Have any of you seen the movie poster for this flick? Check out the trailer site and see what I’m talking about. Claire Danes looks like a dude. In real life she’s a rather pretty woman but the poster makes her look like a bad transvestite who just discovered wigs and make-up.

Director: Andrew Niccol
Cast: Nicolas Cage, Ethan Hawke, Jared Leto, Bridget Moynahan, Jeffrey Wright, Ian Holm
Release: September 16, 2005
Synopsis: An arms dealer (Cage) who schemes his way to the top of his profession only to face an enemy he never expected: his conscience. But it’s not easy to leave behind a life of girls, guns and glamour, when no-one wants you to stop, not even your enemies.

Who else but Clarence would sit across the desk from a guy who manufactures cocaine, packages them in small glass I Love Jeanie bottles, and then proceeds to dip his fingers in said manufacturers’ red wine and snorts the drippings? That’s not foul, that’s just the making of a better than clichéd envisioning of a crazy mofo. I especially like the part, in the same scene, when Clarence has a half-dozen or so automatic weapons drawn on him to which he quips with a giddy glee, “Guns, guns, guns…” That’s what I am reminded here as Nicholas Cage, who is really earning value like a good stock with me with this picture, disregarding his downslide whoring of himself for NATIONAL TREASURE, does the voiceover for this trailer.

As the camera glides over the perfectly placed display of yards and yards of ammunition, Cage explains what he does with not even a tinge of either remorse or some manufactured sense of bravado. It’s a sales job, he explains, with all the responsibilities that go along with it. The fact that’s tossed out, that there’s one firearm for every 12 people in the world, and his calm intonation about wondering about how to arm the other 11 is a sales quandary but one he supposes with steely honesty. It’s darkly amusing and, yet, makes complete sense.

The shot of the man, well, shooting at someone and the accompanying sounds of the ka-ching with every recoil of the man’s AK-47, the shell casing arcing away from the gun, as it exists is wicked sharp.

Then, we get the Flying Lizards’ “Money (That’s What I Want),” a song I’ve never really been too keen on, appropriately slides in as this movie unfolds. Cage in his suit and tie, talking to warlords of countries barely anyone would be able to find on a map, doesn’t look like someone who should be castigated so much as he someone who has seen a niche market and is serving it.

Jared Leto, a man I really did swear a blood oath to revile like a pretty boy in need of a good flogging across the face with a cat-o-nine-tails for all that prissy preening as the hopelessly understood yet incredibly well kempt “bad boy” of My So Called Life, really flickers here and there as he seems to be Cage’s right hand man.

Ethan Hawke is a bit of a distraction as he appears to be requisite Man Who is Trying to Bring Him Down as is the hot dollop of a doll who is Cage’s arm candy. She has no idea what he does and he wants to keep it that way, as he says that there are plenty of sales people who don’t talk about their work, but whatever works, right?

I can’t complain too much as even when Cage is approached by an agent of the Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms unit he cracks a little wise to say he assumes he isn’t being talked to about alcohol or tobacco. It’s a one-liner, sure, but in the moment, in the context of this trailer, it works just fine.

Clarence would be proud of a guy like this.

P.S.S. – Have you seen the poster for this flick? I hope next year at the Key Art Awards, where they celebrate movie advertising and trailer work, the graphic artist gets some props for a sweet ass design.

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