Director: Les Mayfielde
Cast: Samuel L. Jackson, Eugene Levy, Luke Goss, Miguel Ferrer, Anthony Mackie
Release: September 9, 2005
Synopsis: Federal Agent Derrick Vann (Jackson) walks the walk, while affable dental supply salesman Andy Fidler (Levy) talks and talks in the odd couple action comedy The Man. A case of mistaken identity forces the mismatched duo to team up and sets off an intense and hilarious adventure as they speed through the streets of Detroit to pull off a sting operation and solve the murder of Vann’s former partner. Along the way, they uncover much more than they could have ever anticipated.

Prognosis: Holy Crap, It Can’t Get Any More Negative Than This. As things began I hoped for something other than something incredibly unbelievable with Samuel L. Jackson playing the clichéd hard ass with Eugene Levy playing the incredibly white, and racially inept embodiment, sidekick.

I am wrong on both accounts as Voiceover Guy gets right to it by letting us know that Sam Jackson just lost a partner on the night of a big gun cache heist. Jackson’s all tough with his hair all mused with a big scar on his lid to show how smooth he is as an undercover cop. The thing is these undercover cops never look like dudes who should be undercover cops. They’re always looking like Hollywood envisionings of what an undercover cops should be but, whatever, right, this is the movies, who gives a crap? Fair enough.

Now, these weapons that were stolen in some part by some Eurotrash looking playboy, and, again I wonder, what is with this horrendous characterization? Look up any recent story on arms dealers and I can bet you that none of them look like Aryan demigods that women would easily slide open for, like a good looking gynecologist, oh no. But, again, who cares, as Eugene is “mistaken” for someone who has inside knowledge about what happened with these weapons as the comedy starts rolling in from the hills from there.

Um, yeah, so Eugene is eventually cleared as someone who was involved in masterminding the big plot but he is somehow roped into helping Jackson find out who IS behind it all. Things devolve quickly from here as Eugene protests helping the cops out in this sensitive police manner to which Jackson shoots Eugene in the ass as he tries to run away from the whole situation. Huh? How is this supposed to be amusing? Some dude gets caught up in a case of mistaken identity and he gets to be someone’s bitch? Oh, and let’s not forget that a few scenes later show Eugene getting released from the trunk of Jackson’s car for whatever zany reason the screenwriters have come up with as to why Eugene deserved to be placed in there in the first place. I bet it’s wacky!

And yeah, as KC and the Sunshine Band strikes up with that Vanilla Ice favorite (I still have that cassette somewhere, too.) “Play That Funky Music” I am loathe to see how horribly Eugene attempts to set race relations back with his “characterization” of an inept white person because, as we all know from movies like BRINGING DOWN THE HOUSE (which also starred an inept white guy who doesn’t know shit about black culture in the form of, whada know, Eugene Levy), white people wouldn’t be able to live in a major metropolitan area without the help of keen, street-wise folk.

Anyway, against all my better intentions I hope everyone sees this movie and makes it successful like every other stereotypical yarn of this breed. It will do well because no one cares about what makes sense but only what looks “zany” and what seems to have the sheen of commercials that star midgets or apes or half naked chicks who get wet at the sight of an overweight everyman who knows that Keystone Light is the king of all beers.

So, get to it, America. Vote with your dollars. Let the studios know you want more of these kinds of movies. I sure would appreciate seeing more of these trailers.

Director: Greg Harrison
Cast: Courteney Cox, James LeGros, Michael Ealy, Nora Dunn, Anne Archer
Release: July 22, 2005
Synopsis: After a dinner out, photographer Sophie Jacobs (Cox) and her boyfriend Hugh (Le Gros) stop at a corner store for a late night snack. While Sophie waits unaware in the car, Hugh is murdered in a violent robbery. Haunted by guilt, Sophie goes on with her life as best she can: teaching photography at a local art college, meeting her mother (Archer) for lunch, and visiting her therapist (Dunn). But one day at school, a slide mysteriously appears in the projector’s carousel: an image of what looks like her car in front of the corner store the night of the shooting. Are these paranoid visions stemming from her grief and guilt, or does someone know something about the murder?

View Trailer:
* Large (QuickTime)

Prognosis: Begrudgingly Positive. “There is so much life in you and so much…emotional larceny in all these others…”

Sorry, but when I see James LeGros speaking his first words to Kyra Sedgwick from SINGLES this is the first thing I think of and, most likely, will always think of from here on out.

What we have here, though, isn’t what it seems at first.

You get a poppy reggae organ in the background as James and Courtney Cox are driving home from a wonderful evening on the town. He’s kinda creeping me out with the way he is totally turned to her as she’s driving, with thoughts of sexual deviation probably bounding from every synapse, and they end up stopping in front of a quickie mart. The exchange goes on way way too long as Cox orders her man inside the ‘mart to get her something with chocolate.

It’s a New York minute before our boy hops to and gets the hell out of the car and, just as he does, you hear the indomitable and unmistakable sound of an event that is about to head south very quick. The change in mood approaches forcefully like an oncoming cloud bank.

And, while I have everyone’s attention, why is it that really bad stuff always happens in a quickie mart? If there is one plot device what screenwriters use more often than starting a movie with someone waking up in their bed is that the quickie mart is a place for bad shit to go down. Take your pick of any movie from REGARDING HENRY, BLUE STREAK, GROSSE POINTE BLANK, THE REF, and on and on, I could list movies all day. Damn, makes me want to avoid one like it did the ocean after I saw JAWS.

Anyway, her dude is shot in the quickie mart, big surprise, but things take an interesting turn as we get the word that this film was an official selection at Sundance, Los Angeles, Seattle and many other festivals and it presents this information in a very delicate way. So, thumbs up for that. I like knowing this is the kind of story that has some appeal to others; I’m confident in my own likes but it’s so much easier when you get the approval of some people you can trust.

The editing even gets creative as the camera blurs out, some visual media pieces are tossed in, as it jars everything slightly, creating and evoking a mood that’s very discombobulating. I like it.

Courtney lies on a hardwood floor, looking up, distant.

Nora Dunn returns to the silver screen as a serious therapist as she talks to Courtney in a dark room, which I don’t quite understand as to why that’s really necessary to proactive mental healing, but we get the impression that the shooting has jarred her sensibilities to the point of a full-on scramble.

She’s an art teacher. At one point she’s back in a dark room where she’s using a projector to comment on a student’s project. A slide comes on the screen and it’s the outside of the quickie mart the night her dude was gunned down. Oooo! How spooky!

The trailer starts to quicken from here on out as her old memories of ol’ Andy trying to get his mack on with his little lady start to conflate with new information regarding the shooting.

The editing gets quicker and more chaotic as, I think, we are being led to believe that Courtney is either not all there or that there is something about this murder that she may know but isn’t letting on.

Can I take Courtney Cox serious as a dramatic actress? Has the decade long pummeling of her behavioral and un-funny retardedness with the rest of the anti-intellectual goon squad numbed every fiber of my being? Almost, but, in her defense, she does have hints that she’s trying and that does count for something with regard to a low-budget outing like this.

Director: Alice Wu
Cast: Michelle Krusiec, Joan Chen, Lynn Chen
Release: May 27, 2005
Synopsis: For 28-year old New Yorker Wilhelmina “Wil” Pang (Michelle Krusiec), life is a juggling act between a promising career as a surgeon and her responsibilities as a dutiful daughter. Like the #7 train she takes to visit her Chinese family on a weekly basis, Wil is perpetually in transit between two worlds. The expectations of the Flushing, Queens society she is from and the desires that alienate her from it have made Wil content to live below the surface — even if it means playing an inadvertent game of charades with her widowed mother (Joan Chen) and the old world Ma represents. The masquerade is comic even in its pain as Wil tolerates Ma’s weekly set ups with eligible Chinese-American boys at the Friday Chinese socials; but it quickly becomes a farce when Ma’s mask cracks first.

Prognosis: Positive. While at the Key Art awards a couple weeks back I remember Don LaFontaine saying that there really should be room for more people in the voiceover business and that encompassed having more women in this game.

I never really thought this was an issue until I heard the Voiceover Woman for this trailer. It’s odd to hear. My ear felt jarred by the switch-out. Although, it fits right in with the mood of this story and I see why they went with it.

That being said, though, it should be noted that since this is advertising and you’re trying to reach as wide an audience as you can you risk alienating causal males who may or may not want to see the film. It doesn’t matter, I think, as the mere mention of a movie that only really stars women will get the Chick Flick label no matter what.

For me, because I am really in touch with my femme side, I really want to see this movie. The story that unfolds quickly from the first frame is presented wonderfully and even though it doesn’t give away all the nuances of where the story is going to end you still get the idea that this will be a film that will be filled with substance and you really couldn’t demand any more from your lesbian/Asian/mother-daughter/absent father genre movies.

The trailer opens delicately with a run rising over a waking city.

You have two stunning ladies talking about how they met. One of the women can’t believe she hasn’t met the other one until now (they look like they’re in their late twenties) but she is reminded that they, indeed, had met once. It was back when they were children. There is instant chemistry synergizing between the two of them and you quickly realize it’s because they’re in love with one another.

Will, one of the ladies, has come out to her mother about her love for her partner and you can tell this relationship is one where one is proud to be a lesbian while the other has some issues of dealing with her public displays of Sapphic love. Not that 50% of the world would have any issue with it (insert rim shot here) but you can tell there is some inner friction.

The story progresses in this trailer as we are shown examples of how one of the girls’ parents, her mother to be exact, doesn’t want to believe her daughter is a lesbian and tries to keep setting her up on dates with dudes; she intentionally sabotages every attempt. Now, had this been the entire story, woman struggling with her own sexuality and how she makes her mother understand she likes the beav and hates the meat, I would’ve done a Men on Film “Hated it” and moved right on. But this trailer surprises me.

Her disaffected mother comes to her daughter’s doorstep and essentially lets her know that she’s pregnant. What’s a daughter to do?

The resulting moving in of the mother and the really nice silence that’s employed in the trailer when her daughter, girlfriend, and her are all sitting having dinner together in her daughter’s place screams volumes. When the mother asks her daughter’s girlfriend if she has a boyfriend, oblivious but not really, the story starts to metamorphose into something else entirely.

This becomes a movie about how a daughter tries to get her own mother back on the romantic track in finding someone who will appreciate her and, hopefully, get her on solid ground.

The ubiquitous cut scenes of her mother going on blind dates with dudes who are obviously not right for her is a bit hokey but the premise is still solidly kept afloat.

The ending for the trailer is bittersweet and humorous but if I had any main issues is that the music is wretchedly weak and I am not left with anything really solid to hang onto as my last impression.

The Asian American experience with regard to issues of homosexuality and having to deal with a rigid matriarchal support system is one, and I am going on a limb to declare this, hasn’t really been dealt with before.

This movie looks to tackle a lot of issues and I only hope it doesn’t treat them lightly. For me, because I am really in touch with my femme side, I really want to see this movie. The story that unfolds quickly from the first frame is presented wonderfully and even though it doesn’t give away all the nuances of where the story is going to end you still get the idea that this will be a film that will be filled with substance and you really couldn’t demand any more from your lesbian/Asian/mother-daughter/absent father genre movies.

Director: Robert Schwentke
Cast: Jodie Foster, Peter Sarsgaard, Sean Bean, Erika Christensen
Release: September 23, 2005
Synopsis: Flying at 40,000 feet in a cavernous, state-of-the-art 474 aircraft, Kyle Pratt (Foster) faces every mother’s worst nightmare when her six year-old daughter, Julia, vanishes without a trace mid-flight from Berlin to New York. Already emotionally devastated by the unexpected death of her husband, Kyle desperately struggles to prove her sanity to the disbelieving flight crew and passengers while facing the very real possibility that she may be losing her mind. While neither Captain Rich (Bean), nor Air Marshal Gene Carson (Sarsgaard) want to doubt the bereaved widow, all evidence indicates that her daughter was never on board resulting in paranoia and doubt among the passengers and crew of the plane. Finding herself desperately alone, Kyle can only rely on her own wits to solve the mystery and save her daughter.

Prognosis: Apathetic. You know what, for a while the MSN network had a corner on the exclusive trailer for FLIGHTPLAN.

Now, I think it’s absolutely pants that I had to sit through a dammed Listerine commercial before being able to watch the preview for Jodie Foster’s latest flick. Crap holes, the lot of them. I had to sit through that Listerine commercial where you’ve got that guy who looks like Matt LeBlanc’s younger brother who’s all “look at me swishing this stuff between my cheeks!” I didn’t need new mouthwash as I don’t use the stuff but, even if I did, I wouldn’t buy a product that’s being shilled by some guy that looks like he’s swishing around man juice between his molars. Buttheads.

Now, where was I?

Oh yes, Jodie Foster has been absent from American audiences who haven’t yet checked out A LONG ENGAGEMENT, which you should because it’s awesome and I’m telling you it is and you should believe me, but she’s back in a role, through no fault of her own, that makes me think this is PANIC ROOM at 37,000 feet.

For those who don’t want to fully read the description of the flick it’s easy for me to break down: mom designs huge ass plane, takes her daughter aboard it, they’re flying home to New York at night, they grab their seats, take a nap and when Jodie wakes up for some reason or another the kid is gone. She tells someone they tell her she never brought the kid on in the first place and the race is on to either find her or to get an air Marshall to Tazer her hysterical butt before she makes a go at the cockpit doors.

The scroll that runs at the bottom of the trailer as it’s telling you the first part of this is rather lame and you’d think they could be more creative than using Word 2003 but whatever. This isn’t my campaign.

So, when Jodie wakes up, finds her kid has been missing, the hubbub she makes is slightly freaky as the story starts to play with our minds, trying to think if she really is making this whole story up or if there is something else going on, but when someone makes the comment that they’ve received word that her daughter died 6 days prior almost seal any notion that there might be something more to the story.

I am uplifted, though, by Sean Bean. I am still holding out for a Sean Bean, Vinnie Jones Ultimate Marvel Team-Up as Sean is always good to have in your corner when it comes to people losing tempers which he looks close to doing in this one. The man exudes that kind of ass-kicking vibe that he could go off at any moment. Also, there are guns, a few of them, along with some explosions as Jodie goes wild like some crazed Mr. Peepers as she scourers the innards of the plane for evidence of her daughter’s existence. I’m not sure what exactly she hopes to find as all points seem to finger the direction of her being a wacky loon job.

I do hope she gets Tazered at some point, though.

Director: George A. Romero
Cast: Simon Baker, John Leguizamo, Dennis Hopper, Asia Argento, Robert Joy
Release: June 24, 2005
Synopsis: In this new tale, Romero creates a harrowing vision of a modern-day world where the walking dead roam an uninhabited wasteland and the living try to lead “normal” lives behind the walls of a fortified city. A new society has been built by a handful of enterprising, ruthless opportunists, who live in the towers of a skyscraper, high above the hard-scrabble existence on the streets below. But outside the city walls, an army of the dead is evolving. Inside, anarchy is on the rise. With the very survival of the city at stake, a group of hardened mercenaries is called into action to protect the living from an army of the dead.

Prognosis: Positive. Damn do I love a good zombie movie.

If I could recommend a good viewing position for this trailer I would have go with the Mackenzie brothers’ advice before they screened their film, which I believe was shot in 3-B: So sit back and get some corn, and let’s have..uh..it’s movie time.

With an audio sample from the original NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD which still gets me every time “I’m going to get you Barbara” and a real moody, dark presentation we are hitting the proverbial ground running, er, slowly sauntering while moaning in this case, by using video clips that bring us all up to speed with what’s happened since we last left George. Night turned to dawn, then night became dawn, dawn became day (two thumbs up for the double and literal entendre) and the screen goes black and silent.

It’s great. Perfect.

I’m thrown backward as a zombie head comes up off a glassy pond in the middle of the night as hard rocking A chords, and quick editing do the rest.

We’re not really sure where the plot is at this point, how things began or brought us to be or why Dennis Hopper has arisen from his own catatonic state of major motion picture making but no worries as we get lots of zombie action and some sweet weaponry to fight off this new pack of the undead.

Now, the vehicles these peeps are using do look a lot like the ones utilized in DAWN OF THE DEAD, last year’s version, but who the hell cares when you have George Romero at the helm of this fast moving ship. The entire story seems to take place at night, upping the scare factor in any movie, and there does seem to be a localization of where the narrative will unfold.

Again, since the only person who talks in this thing is Dennis, who announces his displeasure for Zombies, it’s a wonder why he makes this joke. Is he somehow involved with this new breed of brain eaters or is this somehow tied in with the zombie mythos? Who cares, I say, as it’s been too long since George’s last foray into the genre that has bred so many imitators that I hope this one school’s them all in the form of how not just to do it well, but how to do it right.

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