Director: William Bindley
Cast: Jake Lloyd, Mary McCormack, James Caviezel, Bruce Dern, Reed Diamond
Release: April 22, 2005
Synopsis: A story about a man’s personal struggle to victory in the 1971 Madison, Indiana hydro-plane regatta.

Look, I know what this movie is all about.

After you see the trailer you can see this seems like a very by-the-numbers film that will be manipulative, sappy, sugary and will no doubt have our hero giving it one more try to win it all. I almost feel like Chet in WEIRD SCIENCE when he makes those gacking noises after he tells his brother that he loves him as I think about how false this story’s actually going to go off, knowing full well that people will eat it up like ice cream in the middle of a Louisiana summer. I mean, when I saw the original premiere of this movie, way back in January of 2001, I began to see why a studio might hold back on this film for as long as they have.

These films, though, like it or not, satisfy a need inside the movie going community. People like these kinds of yarns because it gives them hope that there is something to believe in even if the story being told is slightly, nay, sharply, fabricated in order to fit a certain movie studio’s vision and marketing plan.

The beginning of this trailer is really effective, though. The noise from a speed boat racing by the screen fills the sonic landscape. Then it all goes silent.

“At 180 miles an hour…”

Jesus steers his boat next to another and comes in real close.

“Your pulse races…”

Water sprays everywhere.

“And everything can change…”

Uh-oh.

“In a heartbeat…”

The boat flips and disintegrates on top of the water.

Jim comes back to racing, years later but not a whole lot brighter, with that old sounding country plucking music to show how he’s dedicated to just helping others achieve their boating goals and is focused on perfecting the art of speed boating while on dry dock.

Of course, you have the inquisitive kid who will, no doubt, be used to plug at the motivational strings of our protagonist in an unfair manner, but there’s, get this, a town on the verge of disappearing off the map. The trailer actually makes it seem like the town will fold like a bad hand of poker if the townspeople don’t come up with the $10,000 they owe old man Caruthers. I made the last part up, but you get the idea.

“This boat is all that this town’s got and I ain’t going to turn my back on that.”

Ooo boy. Jim, who goes by the same name in the movie, I take it is going to save the town from complete ruin. Call me stupid and a Yankee and someone who don’ no nuthin’ ‘bout the Speedvision channel but I didn’t think there’s that much money to be made in a single race that could save a town from complete ruin. I could be wrong.

To break up all this talk of the town defaulting on itself the wackiness ensues, just like it did in ONE CRAZY SUMMER (geez, Jeremy Piven, Demi Moore, John Cusack, Joe Flaherty, Curtis “Booger” Armstrong, Bob “Bobcat” Goldthwait, what an awesome cast that was) when they steal that preppie’s Ferrari engine, as the local hillbillies help Jim out by stealing the engine of a WWII fighter jet to put into the boat; that’ll git ‘em, Jimbo!

We even get some clip of the race itself. Of course our man is lagging behind everyone but don’t let that get you sad or thinking he’s gonna lose because he has some old school NOS in his tank that’s most likely going to help him get across the finish line first or have him finish second where he will learn the real value of friendship. Gack.

People are going to flock to this one if an inspirational tale of Hollywood endings is what they’re looking for in a weekend trip to the movies as sordid as the story is.

Director: Scott Caan
Cast: Scott Caan, Jeff Goldblum, Shawn Hatosy, Kelly Lynch, Selma Blair
Release: March 25, 2005
Synopsis: Rusty (Hatosy) starts to pursue a path to a more meaningful life, thanks to his connection to Bob (Goldblum), the boyfriend of his mother, Mary (Lynch). His new take on life causes friction with his best friend, Dallas (Cann), and both men find their friendship pushed to its breaking point, causing them to make life-changing decisions.

I know I was slightly against Scott Caan in that PG boob fest called INTO THE BLUE a few weeks ago but he was, I concede, really good in the cast of BOILER ROOM and OCEAN’S ELEVEN. I have to give him credit and the guy deserves as much.

Now, as this trailer opens some guy protests too much to the person he’s with in a dark car, both looking like nothing more than your basic, criminal, element, about leaving said car in order to rob someone. I’m pulled into what’s happening even though I am not quite sure I’m following what’s happening. One of the guys says an unnamed man who we don’t know yet only needs a driver and a $1000 bucks to do what he needs to get done. What this is or what it has to do with him has yet to be seen and I’m starting to lose interest.

What happens next borders on schizophrenia.

The premise gets me so pumped, with that little red rated “R” label, and all I get for my excited goodness is a pack of quick clips that almost tell me something about the people in the movie but stops just short of making any sense.

Literally, the camera blasts past all of the people who I assume have something to do with this story, giving me only images instead of information, which is not a good sign if you are looking to get people to go see your film and by the time I see fly guy Jeff Goldblum, and get excited, I am almost ready to leave this movie behind for something else that may make more sense. It’s frustrating, almost like sitting behind a pillar in an arena to see a Clay Aiken show; you’re really excited you decided to take a chance but how are you supposed to really enjoy it when you have a concrete pole in your field of vision?

I do get that one of our almost felons moved from Texas and went to live with Goldblum who doesn’t seem all that thrilled or hopeful at the prospects that this kid has. Scott Caan seems to exist in some hyper zone of activity that borders on a tweaker who’s amped up on Ritalin, ephedrine and Jolt Cola but since he is the man who is also directing this film I have to give him credit for shooting this thing in a way that seems very pulpy, in a noir crime sort of way, and for taking some chances with the narrative.

There does seem like an exorbitant amount of fighting that’s going on in this movie but Scott’s proven himself more than capable in front of the camera to really carry that tuff guy sort of visage about himself. I do hope, though, that the quote that’s dropped from Variety, about how this is supposed to be a great debut from Caan is, in reality, very supportive of the movie on the whole.

From what I’ve seen, though, it seems like someone needs medication in order to understand exactly why people are getting the crap knocked out of each other and why there doesn’t seem like a whole lot else going on besides hoods being hoods. And that wouldn’t even be such a bad thing if I wasn’t already confused as to who the hell is doing whatever the hell and not making much sense while doing it.

Director: Joshua Sternfeld
Cast:Anthony LaPaglia, Aaron Stanford, Mark Webber, Allison Janney
Release: April 8th, 2005
Synopsis: In this suburban drama, a widower (played by Anthony LaPaglia) confronts his older son’s (played by Aaron Stanford) decision to leave home and his younger son’s self-destructive behavior.

Now, I’ll have to preface this review of the trailer with the following opinions :

I. Anthony LaPaglia is an actor’s actor. The man is understated but yet brings any production to a slightly higher level. True, he’s never starred in anything that’s garnered tons of dough at the box office but his style is genuinely affective and completely has bought my respect.

II. I don’t like Allison Janney. I don’t. I am not a fan of West Wing because of her. Plus, she has that prey look to her. For those not in the know, I classify some women on whether they look like predators or prey depending on where their ocular cavities sit on their face. Women who have their eyes sitting comfortably in the middle of their faces are predators, see: J. Lo, Hillary Duff, the woman who inspired Hall & Oates’ “Maneater,” while women like Janney and, for reference sake, Rebecca Gayhart, look like they can see 360 degrees to be on the lookout for anything sneaking up on them.

That totally degrading and ignorant remark said, I really do like the prospects of this film.

I appreciate the laid back plunka plunka of the guitar that eases us into this trailer, the seconds long display of all the film festivals this movie was selected for almost goes beyond acceptable but we get right into things.

Anthony’s wife is dead because of an accident and he’s really despondent. He’s built his life around the notion of having her in it and now his direction is unclear. This is all done, set-up, established, within the first twenty seconds of the trailer. Bravo. I’m telling you it’s such a rare thing to have something set up so early and I am a big fan of that.

He has two sons and they’re obviously conflicted in a Timothy Hutton, ORDINARY PEOPLE, sort of way, but they seem genuinely lost in a fog in their own listlessness. Our main man Ron Livingston, a flat out great actor, plays a teacher but we’re not given much on him. What we do know, however, is that both sons are trying to work their way though life and are not having a good go at it.

We get some friction in the family, even some possible father on son cage fighting after a bombastic display of rage in the family garage, but things seem to cool down with the addition of Allison. She actually works here in this setting. It’s so full of me to say that, I know, but as quickly as she comes on screen I believe the things that start between her an Anthony are genuine. It feels real in a way that many Hollywood filmic romances are not.

After the dad declares that he’s having dinner with the older lass, the boys giggling at this prospect, the dad seems to have to go it alone and that’s really where things end with the narrative.

We’re introduced to everyone via cards and silent smiles or real reflective moments to show how “deep” these people are with bits and pieces of other moments strung together to create the happy ending this film may have.

It’s a slower kind of film, no doubt, but every once in a while I do declare I appreciate something that might be able to honestly explain how people can go on after losing someone they love. Hopefully this story, at the very least, ends up being a well-made movie.

Director:Jon Favreau
Cast: Tim Robbins, Dax Shepard, Kristen Stewart, Jonah Bobo, Josh Hutcherson
Release: November 23, 2005
Synopsis: ZATHURA is the story of two young brothers who are drawn into an intergalactic adventure when their house is magically hurtled through space. The story is based on the book Zathura by children’s author Chris Van Allsburg.

Was a sequel to JUMANGI really necessary? I have little to no idea about where this movie is coming from but if I was to be sitting in a theater where this trailer played I would bet there would be some confusion about whether this is a stand-alone movie or just a cleverly disguised second installment to the first film starring Robin Williams.

The thing starts off generically enough with Tim Robbins, beatnik and bird-flipper-offer extraordinaire, living in his all-too generic looking suburban house with a lawn that looks torn right from the pages of the Brady Bunch How-To guide. Here he plays one of those standoffish kind of fathers who actually tells his two young sons, who don’t know anything more than baseball cards and how to wipe their butts without leaving dingleberries, that they’re coming upon a day when they’re going to have to grow up all at once. The foreshadowing is deafening, and the obvious distant father character is too much of a common staple in today’s film, but, whatever, right? Right, so, these young boys are left alone inside this quaint little manse of suburbia.

The boys, who really are up to no good, ever, get involved in a little rabble rousing around the house where one of the young lads finds a game. Now, like Jumanji, this one comes alive. One of the cards warns of a meteor shower and, sho’ ‘nuff, little meteors start puncturing holes in the ceiling. The kids have no idea what’s happening but here starts the idea: the boys are now playing for their lives.

Sigh.

This film is being marketed, no doubt, to the kiddies and the idea that the trailer gives us, after the initial set-up, is that they are adrift in the middle of a solar system and have no discernable way of getting home. Now, I’ll admit, this is a slight departure from Jumanji insofar as that the action that is taking place is taking place in a completely different realm of reality.

I do know, however, that this film has a lot of comparisons that it’s going to have to contend with, how could another game come to life where hell breaks loose happen to some other kid, and with really no other discernable major star present in the trailer it’s going to have to fight for that box office dollar if they’re going to try and convince parents why they should take their brood to see this. I can’t see why they would other than the excuse that there’s nothing else playing at the local Cineplex.

Director: George Lucas
Cast: Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen, Christopher Lee, Samuel L. Jackson, Frank Oz, Ian McDiarmid, Jimmy Smits, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, Peter Mayhew
Release: May 19, 2005
Synopsis: After three long years of relentless fighting, the Clone Wars are nearly at an end. The Jedi Council dispatches Obi-Wan Kenobi to bring General Grievous, the deadly leader of the Separatist droid army, to justice. Meanwhile, back on Coruscant, Chancellor Palpatine has grown in power. His sweeping political changes transform the war-weary Republic into the mighty Galactic Empire. To his closest ally, Anakin Skywalker, he reveals the true nature of power and the promised secrets of the Force in an attempt to lure him to the dark side.

The first visual impressions one gets as a bright planet comes into view, planes flanking what will eventually become the main spaceship that Luke will eventually crouch down beneath to see his father’s face, is that this could be good. If nothing else, Lucas spent time on the effects and, damn, does it show.

The Emperor as he will eventually be known as gives a brief soliloquy about a kind of power that will never be taught by a Jedi and, no, it’s not the power of Barry White and a couple glasses of Chivas Regal. Yeah, it’s cool in a way because this is the beginning of the end for Anakin but the dialogue, and its delivery, scares me in a way that makes me think that, again, people were too busy cleansing Lucas’ balloon knot to not mention that he could’ve made even more money by getting a few fresh scribes on the script.

You can feel the friction between Obi-Wan and Anakin getting to the point where there’ll be fisticuffs later but I do have to credit Lucas, whether intentional or not, with interposing the strife between Jedi and the dark side with some sweet ass battle sequences. Crap is blowing up, smoke is billowing, lasers are teeow-teeowing (even though there is no air in space, but who gives a crap, right?) and storm troopers are flailing and flinging all over the place.

Samuel L. Jackson is prepping his own exit when he says he doesn’t trust Anakin anymore, with good reason, and is even the one who tells him to his face that he isn’t granting passage?, bastile?, Camille?, Pasties?, Camille? What’s homeboy saying? Who knows! I don’t know and don’t care. The music is starting to tense up.

The Emperor speaks again about embracing the dark side, how Anakin can become more powerful than any Jedi if he does. Sweet. This is the kind of dialogue I need. Keep it nice and simple, Gramps.

Now, here is one of my favorite bits of the trailer: Samuel goes to arrest the Emperor. The Emperor strikes an angry pose in his chair. Lightsabers are all unsheathed and ready to take that sack of wrinkles down. When the Emperor sneers and leaps out of his chair, getting wicked with his own ‘saber, I am caught way off guard. I just thought he only had the power of lighting. Like that one guy from the Misfits of Science TV show? You know, the guy with the bolts of electricity? Guess not.

The Emperor, though, lets out a primal gurgle and moves like the wind. I’m floored in amazement.

The drum beats that come in next with their quick clips of things that happen, of ships going vertical, all hell breaking loose, hey, there’s Victor Sifuentes of LA Law, there’s the lava pits where Anakin will eventually lose his ability to get his mack-on with his lady, Obi looks like he’s getting into a fight with a large robot (Darth Sidious?), hey, a Wookie, and a real big building is smoking like a chimney as we get a voiceover from the Emperor.

And then we get his visage. We get to take a look at the Emperor as we come to know him with that pasty complexion, vampiric eyes, and menacing presence. It’s not only him, but Anakin walking with the stormtroopers underneath his control, walking slowly behind him, evokes some nice anticipatory feelings.

We get some Yoda-isms about how Anakin has come to this state, with complete mayhem going on all around him, everyone is fighting and the whole trailer crescendos without knowing whether or not this will be the movie that will make up for the previous two.

I hope so. I really do.

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