Director: Dylan Kidd
Cast: Laura Linney, Topher Grace, Gabriel Byrne, Marcia Gay Harden, Paul Rudd
Release: October 15, 2004
Synopsis: Louise Harrington (Laura Linney), a divorced, thirty-something admissions officer at Columbia University’s School of Fine Arts is intelligent, pretty, successful, and unfulfilled. That is, until a graduate school application crosses her desk and she arranges to interview the young painter. When F. Scott Feinstadt (Topher Grace) appears, he bears an uncanny resemblance to Louise’s high school boyfriend and one true love, an artist who died in a car accident twenty years earlier. Within hours of the interview, Louise and F. Scott have embarked on a passionately uninhibited older woman/younger man affair. But is F. Scott just a reminder of Louise’s lost love? And is Scott just trying to wheedle his way into the Ivy League?

Prognosis: Positive. I’ve always been eager to be glib and simply write a one word review of a trailer.

I think it has something to do with my inordinate number of viewings of SPINAL TAP when the band sits down with Rob Reiner. Rob tells them that a journalist, reviewing their album Shark Sandwich, wrote a one word review that simply said: Shit sandwich.

That’s was comedy gold.

I think that a movie titled P.S. was crying out for a one word review, B.S., just the merriment I would have received inside would have been nice, but my soul was crushed when I watched this trailer and ended up really liking it. There is a slow steadiness to it, hitting all the right points, and it worked beautifully.

Starting from point A, though, I wasn’t sure the trailer would hold any ground for me. Laura Linney walks stridently, and when you see it you’ll understand just how strident that walk is, and there’s this Dallas soap opera theme song horn playing underneath it all that gives it an odd commercial feel; that she’s really going to be selling panty hose by the end of this thing, for example. The Toronto International Film Festival kudos is then displayed in front of us like an eager child who just learned how to finger paint. After this, without knowing much more than Laura can walk well, Laura gets into it with her mother about a family friend that the two of them knew. So far, not very interesting, but it’s downright exciting me, though, on the inside because I still have a chance to use the whole B.S. thing.

“He has the same talent.”

Then, Topher Grace walks into the picture. I have an acute dislike for That ‘70s Show, based solely on the fact that not even TiVos lighting fast review time of an episode can keep my attention, and I thought that watching WIN A DATE WITH TAD HAMILTON was about as close as one could have come to breaking several statutes of my local county’s decency laws, but he’s absolutely charming here. Immediately there is some of that clichéd chemistry between Laura and Topher and it carries with it the hope for a good story to wrap around these two. Sure enough, there is. The flamenco, Lifetime special guitar music is slightly saccharine to listen to but that’s another point I’m willing to overlook.

“He has the same face.”

Then, without so much as a perceived first date, Topher starts touching her as he asks Laura if she has ever had her portrait done. This moment made me realize I got into the wrong major in college after seeing what he does to her just after asking that question. He tucks her hair behind her ear, he strokes her arm, and you know this is not going to end nicely by picture’s end.

About this point in the trailer we are shown that the same guy who directed RODGER DODGER (great film) and the producer of YOU CAN COUNT ON ME (even better film) came together to consolidate their magical powers and crafted this film. Then, without so much as an introduction, Gabriel Byrne pops up as Laura’s husband. Before I try and remember how long it’s been since I’ve last seen him in a movie, Laura spills the plot to us about what makes Topher the one she wants to have a dalliance with.

It’s commendable, actually, that the movie makers waited over half the length of the trailer before telling us that Topher is a close look-alike of someone Laura used to date in high school and who died prematurely. There is a full on Linney/Grace lip lock which just seals the Mrs. Robinson deal for me.

The supporting cast looks wonderfully crafted and the trailer leaves us teetering on knowing exactly how it’s going to end and not knowing where it will go.

Director: Eric Darnell
Cast: Chris Rock, Ben Stiller, Jada Pinkett Smith, David Schwimmer
Release: May 27, 2005
Synopsis: Madagascar follows a lion, zebra, giraffe and hippo who are released from the zoo and sent back to the wild by an animal rights group. Ending up on the African island of Madagascar the New York menagerie finds their lives turned upside down.

Prognosis: Positive. I don’t know who were the ones who spent 49.1 million on SHARK TALE’s opening weekend but I am very disappointed in those who sent a message to Dreamworks to make more of that crap.

Look, I’m not one to listen to critics. I may entertain an opinion by Roger Ebert here, read an idea or two from Ryall about what’s good or bad on the tube, but, damn, a 34% average approval rating? I couldn’t pass 3rd grade with a score like that and neither should that movie.

However, I will gladly give two shift keys up for what looks like a step up from SHARK TALE for the film MADAGASCAR.

It has a good beginning sans the reminder that the same studio that brought us SHREK (good) and SHARK TALE (crap) brings this film into our lives. A really twisted opening has a giraffe, a lion and a hippo (David Schwimmer, Ben Stiller, Jada Pinkett Smith, respectively) singing happy birthday to a zebra (Chris Rock). It would be fairly innocuous if it weren’t for the hippo forcing the giraffe to blow on his party favor in a funny fashion that reminded me of a Three Stooges episode; it’s just funnier to see than try to describe but it is very slapsticky. They throw a non sequitur in the mix by showing the reaction of a couple of monkeys (the best part of a zoo, next to the orangutans) as one sniffs his pit and falls off a branch. The monkey who falls is obviously a tamed down version of a real one that sniffed his finger after putting it in a not so fresh locale and was put on tape for the world to see, but, hey, a few points for them at least making an effort to keep things interesting for me.

Anyway, this is a movie about some animals making a break for it. Their lives at the Central Park Zoo are shown in the animals-acting-like-humans-when-they’re-not-around kind of way that’s been so played out but kids will enjoy that. It’s nice to see natural color palates here on everything instead of the day-glo Zubaz job that Dreamworks did in creating an underground spray paint community in SHARK TALE.

There penguins here, and they look like potential scene stealers in this film, are shown taking over a tanker, possibly trying to make a break for it. I am reminded of the penguin from the Wallace and Gromit short, THE WRONG TROUSERS, and I hope that these conniving little bastard birds do their worst. When Ben mentions that the penguins are psychotic, I am rearing to see more as I wonder why penguins seem to always have master plans brewing.

It was definitely amusing to see Ben Stiller get his ass kicked by an old lady after he makes one of his first appearances outside the confines of his cage (It’s the “rough animal with the sinister reputation who’s really nice” kind of character that reminds me of the Shark from FINDING NEMO, the big brown bear on Sesame Street, etc…).

Cute and cuddly, boys. Cute and cuddly. The instructions given to the penguins after being surrounded by the fire department and police is laugh worthy as well and I found myself actually looking forward to an animated picture that will get released in the new year.

Director: Michael Clancy
Cast: Ray Romano, Hank Azaria, Jesse Bradford, Zooey Deschanel, Glenne Headly, Famke Janssen, Piper Laurie, Kelly Preston, Rip Torn, Debra Winger, Curtis Garcia
Release: October 29, 2004
Synopsis: When three generations of a deliciously dysfunctional family gather to bury the family patriarch, the beloved granddaughter of the deceased is given the task of delivering the eulogy. In the days leading up to the funeral, family secrets are revealed, old grudges resurface and the household erupts with renewed vigor. A wickedly irreverent comedy, Eulogy is ultimately a heartwarming portrait of a houseful of misfits celebrating the strangest and most enduring bond of all.

Prognosis: Negative. Can sitcom actors really make the big push to the big screen and find success?

Dramatic actors have been doing it well enough, compared to the Matthew Perry’s and Jason Alexander’s of the pop culture landscape, and going it with a better percentage rate when you look at what people like George Clooney have been able to parlay into successful leaps into films. This comment should also reflect of the opposite, big screen to small, when you look at actors like Timothy Busfield and Anthony Edwards who started out playing horny geeks in REVENGE OF THE NERDS to dramatic paragons of prime time television.

With EULOGY, however, Ray Romano seems to be playing his TV’s namesake character Raymond but with an eerie looking moustache that looks taken straight from an old school stag film.

That aside, the trailer opens with all the flourish of mediocrity as Ray tries to hustle his kids up and out of the house to go to a funeral. His protestations in regard to their dilly-dallying, an “aw-shucks, hurry up, you scamps,” inspires neither fatherly fear nor respect out of these hellions; with a demeanor like Ray’s there should be no wonder why not even kids are afraid of him. He is, though, making his way through a divorce situation so maybe there is the possibly of some spousal abuse flashback, hence the moustache. Ray could be giving his old lady a taste of his mannish power by having her eat the back of his hand; if the gods were truly good they would make Patricia Heaton the object d’ bitch slap while she’s in the middle of making one of those obnoxious Albertson’s commercials. But, I digress slightly.

“You’re fully experiencing the loss.”

Out of the blue, and switching gears faster than a crack ho with an itch to scratch, Debra Winger appears on the screen and suddenly I’m interested in what’s happening. She’s looking migh-T-fine for a woman her age, but I’m not really sure what her relationship is with Ray. Nor do I know how Zooey Deschanel or Hank Azaria fit into it all but it’s pretty good talent being represented; the same, however could be said of WELCOME TO MOOSEPORT but there’s hope yet for this film.

My uplifted spirits are popped like a gaseous colostomy bag, though, when I get some more scenes like the one they show at a funeral home where one of the directors mentions how much the casket costs. This statement is followed by the widow asking how much it would cost to simply put him in a bag. Priceless. Really it is. This is another movie about a dead man no one liked but, really, no one got along with Rip Torn, the decedent? I’m at the point of being nonplussed when, just like the beginning, I’m sucked back in this trailer’s undertow as I get Famke Janssen, playing a lesbian, playing a life-partner to a woman in Ray’s family plus there’s a nice cat fight between Ray’s current bride-to-be and Debra Winger.

There are the meddling twin boys, Ray’s kids, who look like they are the instigators for a lot of the wackiness that is bound to ensue when they start drilling holes in the wooden coffin grandpa is in as they put a spout from a gas can into one of the holes and fill ‘er up. After this is done, they shoot fire arrows at the coffin and finally hit it, causing an explosion. While pyrotechnics is always a crowd pleaser for me much of the rest in this trailer is forgettable in a way that only misery can describe.

Director: Jordan Roberts
Cast: Michael Caine, Christopher Walken, Josh Lucas, Jonah Bobo, Glenne Headley
Release: October 8, 2004 (limited)
Synopsis: Four generations of men are suddenly brought together by the chance to uncover the truth about their family’s past. It’s a journey that takes them out on the road to a world full of surprises — some comic, some dramatic, and all of them personal.

Prognosis: Positive. While there will be no point in this film where Christopher Walken’s character asks for more cowbell, this still looks like a tender gem of a movie. Also, Josh Lucas needs more movies that show his ability to not be the asshole everyone hates. Cases in point: HULK, UNDERTOW, SWEET HOME ALABAMA, etc…

I can’t quickly rattle off any other movie where there’s been a father/son father/son father/son plot line but I like the originality of the subject material. It’s nice to see that there are still some good premises out there.

Things start off in this trailer with Josh Lucas being accosted awake to find his dad at his doorstep. Apart from the sheer elatedness of finding out that Christopher Walken is your dad and that he’s not bearing cowbells, Lucas appears less than delighted. There’s friction, and obviously there are unresolved issues that will get fixed in the end and he’ll spend most of the movie being a stick in the ass, but the grandson seems happy enough to see granddad and keeps things interesting.

The reunited family, resplendent with Michael Cane as the patriarch, has a wonderful meal at what looks like a KFC (hopefully Walken orders value meal number three while telling the person behind the counter he has a fever and the prescription is more breast meat). Quickly after this happens, Michael dies and leaves behind a will that Walken masterfully reads out loud and seems to be in charge of. This, I’m sure, will lead to even more anger in Lucas.

While Lucas seems just ok with his dad suddenly showing up, the unorthodox reading of a will that seems transcribed on wrinkled writing tablet paper and the accompanying treasure hunt for his grandfathers assets is an intriguing plot device that really keeps this story moving at a comfortable pace.

I could do away with throaty voiceover man as he tells me that “this fall, some secrets are worth pursing;” yeah, some are, but since I don’t have a treasure map and this is a fictional movie I’ll settle for trying to figure out if my wife’s been shuttling money out of my checking account to buy small amounts of that really expensive Lancome makeup. In the meantime, Holmes, don’t tell me that there are secrets worth pursuing. Vampires, psychic detectives, the origins of Twinkie filling, these are all secrets worth pursuing but this just isn’t one of them.

This is a road picture of the oddest order, pure and simple, but Walken really sells it as the crazy old man back from prison, escapee is more like it, and Lucas is really charismatic as the tortured protagonist who is fighting the urge to enjoy the time with his father, who probably violated him with a plunger or some other deep secret we’ll find out in the course of this movie, but will “come to grips” with his past and embrace his future as a father and blah blah blah.

It’s about the journey here and Walken seems to be taking delight in this role. We even get him reprising his dancing abilities, last seen cutting a few rugs and hotel lobbies in a Fat Boy Slim video, and a little ivory tickling. What I enjoy, more than anything, is that the voiceover is suspended long enough for me to see small flashes of personalities in Walken and Lucas. Since this is movie about them, really, it would be good to see why these two have issues with one another. When Walken plays the piano and the two of them have a “moment” it’s believable and it’s not overwrought in a way that seems false.

For a first time writer/director Jordan Roberts, the movie looks decently shot while the story, spoken primarily through the actions of the actors, appears competent enough that it didn’t evoke any eye-rolling on my part. The movie will most likely get a tepid response as the story has a finite number of endings, all of them possible, but this appears to be a picture that has, at the very lest, a good grasp of its story.

Director: Shane Carruth
Cast: Shane Carruth, David Sullivan, Casey Gooden, Anand Upadhyaya, Carrie Crawford
Release: October 8, 2004 (Limited)
Synopsis: At night and on weekends, four men in a suburban garage have built a cottage industry of error-checking devices. But, they know that there is something more. There is some idea, some mechanism, some accidental side effect that is standing between them and a pure leap of innovation. And so, through trial and error they are building the device that is missing most. However, two of these men find the device and immediately realize that it is too valuable to market. The limit of their trust in each other is strained when they are faced with the question, If you always want what you can’t have, what do you want when you can have anything?

Prognosis: Negative trailer; positive buzz. The sound of clicking heels? The soft snaps of ice fracturing? I’m not sure what that noise is as we’re shown that this film has won a couple of Sundance Film Festival’s Grand Jury Prizes.

It took some doing but I figured out that the next shot is of a garage, late at night, flooded with yellow night. At first I thought it was a close-up of some old type of transistor because it’s really blurry, most likely done to create a moody kind of feeling, but then I thought back to my Savage Steve Holland days and was reminded of that garage from BETTER OFF DEAD; great film and even better garage. However, I am digressing.

Back in this trailer, after we see the garage, I am asked “What is essential?” Before I can rattle off some funny things I could put in that blank it gives me a few answers, none of which I came up on my own and are far superior answers I wouldn’t have been able to come up with on my own. The action going on behind this little impromptu game of $20,000 Pyramid is obfuscated by haunting audio (sounds like a slowed down heartbeat mixed with muffled lighting) and of some dudes playing with electronic equipment. I’m then asked, like a kid who won’t stop asking questions to mom and pop, “What is wanted?” Again, same funny scenario in my own head, other answers given that don’t come close to my own, etc… These Mormon looking fellows, resplendent with the white shirts, crisp Aryan look, good looking families and accompanying short shirt wearing friends, have something going on but I haven’t a clue as to what it is. Then, as if adding kerosene to this little campfire of discontent, they ask me another freaking question: What is truly wanted?

Before I can be witty one of them finally speaks. “You’re talking about making a bigger one.” He repeats this while still wearing a white, collared shirt; are these guys engineers or just really hardcore company men? Then, the timpani drum starts banging and then a bunch of cut scenes start flying. The words “money” and “power” and a whole slew of others crisscross the screen. Images of storage units and gas canisters and ITT Technical Institute electronics litter the visual landscape. The way these two guys are the only people on the screen I am almost thinking that they are out to create the world’s largest dong and to show Sweden who really is the king of adult “novelty” toys but that guess isn’t too far off and I’ll you why: this film doesn’t explain why in the hell I should see their film. There is no compelling reason to pay money for this experience and this is just a matter of having a bad trailer for a movie that has garnering some great word-of-mouth. Simply based on that I am apt to give this movie a try but to those out there who aren’t glued to every moment of movie news that’s released this trailer does a poor job trying to get the attention of those who are the demographic target.

It’s super to be all coy and secretive but, damn, give me at least a few reasons why I should come see the movie. That said, I, for one, am eagerly awaiting to see the final product.

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