Director:Ian Iqbal Rashid
Cast:Jimi Mistry, Kyle MacLachlan, Kristen Holden-Ried, Suleka Mathew
Release: July 16, 2004 (Limited)
Synopsis:A comic clash of cultures, values and sexuality, TOUCH OF PINK is a romantic comedy featuring Alim (Jimi Mistry), a young South Asian-Canadian, now living in London, who is so caught up in the romance, style and dreams of the old movies that he thinks he’s living with the spirit of Cary Grant (Kyle MacLachlan). But Alim’s ideal life in London with lover Giles (Kristen Holden-Ried) begins to unravel when his mother Nuru (Suleka Mathew) shows up. She’s come to London to find Alim a proper Ismaili-Muslim girlfriend and to convince him to come home to Canada and join the family for his cousin’s spectacular wedding. Once in Toronto, Alim’s different worlds begin to collide and he has to choose between his fantasy life with Cary and the earthier pleasures of real life.

Prognosis: Positive. Kyle MacLachlan has a role not unlike Val Kilmer as Elvis in TRUE ROMANCE. In this film, however, Kyle is a psychological manifestation that acts like a sage for a young and confused gay man.

We are first introduced to Alim, the man who this movie revolves around, in his natural homestead element. He lives with a caring boyfriend who understands Alim’s need to hide his sexuality from his deeply religious mother who is coming to visit in London. And, as an Ismaili-Muslim, Alim recognizes the need to at once be true to who he is but, as we see in the trailer, hide any vestige of his homosexuality so she suspects nothing. It’s, essentially, your standard game of hiding your sexuality from your parents kind of film.

However, there are some elements that help buoy the trailer along.

One of the really nice things about this trailer is the music. Usually, the tunes used to pimp one of these modern comedies are loud, boisterous and usually involve Top 40 crap. The smoky piano jazz that gets some play, the seriousness of the comedic element played for effect instead of bombastic slapstick, all gives this trailer a very nurturing vibe. I envisioned a disco anthem so prevalent to so many other movies when a mother/father/family comes to visit and the inhabitants (be they a live-in girlfriend/boyfriend/barnyard animal) scramble to make themselves disappear.

I really appreciate the way it pokes fun at Alim’s need to hide himself. At one point MacLachlan tosses books up into the air, during the pre-hiding, labeling them as gay or as too sexual to be lying around. Alim’s inner voice tells him to come out to his mother but Cary Grant will hear none of that. Giles, his boyfriend, is introduced as his ”roommate,” a term so derisively used even in modern day parlance that it’s nearly a cliché whenever it’s employed, and you all can just guess that hilarity ensues from that initial meeting. There’s the innuendo, the cat and mouse game of almost getting caught, all fairly standard stuff. What makes this movie stand out, overall, is the tone in which it is selling itself.

When you have a romantic comedy like this one certainly is, and is itself not ashamed for actually advertising itself as such, you have limited options. Most times with any other movie of this variety you see things glossed with a high studio shine and immediately have no love for them, read here: WIMBLEDON, but with this film it’s seriousness is endearing. Even though I can tell you how this is going to end just based on what I see going here, I have much more respect for this production simply because it’s played, ahem, straight. There a genuineness that coats everything and I appreciate the honesty and respect it shows for the material and not making it seem like a one joke is going to follow the other as our protagonist gets into zany misadventures.

Director:Louis Leterrier
Cast:Morgan Freeman, Jet Li, Bob Hoskins, Kerry Condon, Christian Gazio, Silvio Simac
Release:TBA 2005
Synopsis:This is the story of Danny (Li), a slave who has lived his whole life without any sort of normal human education, with the mind and personality of a young child, with only one lesson learned: how to fight. Treated like a dog by his owner/boss, Bart (Hoskins) which includes having to wear a collar, Danny has been raised to be a lethal fighting machine who fights in illegal gladiator-style fight clubs, where he earns lots of money for Bart as the undisputed champion. After a car accident that lands Bart in a coma, however, Danny meets a kind elderly blind piano tuner (Freeman) on the run because he knows secrets some bad guys don’t want known, who uses music to teach Danny some things about the world and about being human.

Prognosis: This deserves a Jeff Spicoli “Awesome. Totally Awesome.” This movie, even if you’re a marginal fan of Jet Li, looks like it could make up for THE ONE and LEATHAL WEAPON 4. With interest.

Not even slated to come out until 2005, this trailer for DANNY THE DOG fires on all cylinders and does not relent until the very end. With a soundtrack that’s partly Massive Attack and a visual style closer to a grittier, dirtier FIGHT CLUB, you can’t help but to feel excited watching this thing unfold. Since it’s hard to keep track of all the imagery going on (this thing seriously needs some Ritalin in some places) I’ll just break down the most vivid images.

There are images of a collar with the name Danny written in the back of it and it looks metallic, heavy. There’s a flash of a house, a piano, and the same weighty collar coming unlocked. Bob Hoskins, looking sharp in his suit and attitude, Massive Attack establishes a sonic foothold, walks with great possession of self through a dirty door. A close-up of him fades as the visage of a buff gimp (clad with even the mask) crushes a block of something with his head as Li and he go after each other. Cut to guys in suits, standing, in suits and ties, outside and in a straight line, firing automatic weaponry. Cut back to Jet Li delivering a punch to the face of the gimp as a stream of blood spills out the front.

The gimp falls.

Hoskins in a white suit appears, money is produced, and the collar is shown once more. Jet Li is now in an empty pool, kicking the veritable crap, snot, life out of some soft bitches who kneel before his Zod-ness. From out of nowhere, as if there’s even a somewhere to speak of in this thing, there’s an image a mother holding a baby and a piano. Morgan Freeman shows up.

This is when you get to relax and take a break.

Jet Li sits at a piano as Morgan Freeman saddles up next to the man who could easily turn his neck into a bow tie. Morgan asks Jet if he likes pianos. It’s hard for Jet to get the word out as the trailer starts to evolve into something else; something sweet enough that it reminds me of LEON. There’s a cute girl who tries to befriend Jet, spilling her life story to him, and us, at a breakneck pace. She mentions her parents died in a car wreck and there is a cool visual interjection of two cars crashing with awesome velocity. The girl kisses his cheek. Jet stammers to get out the fact his name is Danny. Then the collar comes back into play.

Discordant images flicker on the screen as Jet hugs Morgan and you are left with the sense that whatever goes down, and it seems that Hoskins is the living, breathing brother of Don Logan from SEXY BEAST, it will be fantastically bloody and violent. Not since Sloth from the GOONIES entered my life nearly two decades ago has the idea of having a man-pet turned into a device for muscle to get one’s way and defend those who would otherwise be defenseless been better realized.

It should come as no surprise that Luc Besson had a hand in writing this thing. Also, the guy who directed THE TRANSPORTER is the one behind the lens. Let us quietly hope that things stay as dark as they are here and don’t turn into a homogenized actioneer. Something very powerful is going on in this trailer.

Director:John Curran
Cast:Mark Ruffalo, Laura Dern, Peter Krause, Naomi Watts, Sam Charles, Haili Page, Jennifer Bishop
Release: August 13, 2004 (Limited)
Synopsis:Mark Ruffalo, Laura Dern, Peter Krause and Naomi Watts star in the story of two couples in a New England college town whose lives become inextricably intertwined and turned upside-down in a tide of passion, heartbreak, humor and deceit. The film is directed by John Curran from a screenplay by Larry Gross, based on two short stories by Andre Dubus II (In the Bedroom).

Prognosis: Positive. Quiet suburban life. A guitar plucks gently in the background.

Terry and Jack

There’s Laura Dern, looking as about as average-pretty as you would find a woman, and there’s also Mark Ruffalo, donning scraggly facial hair and is joshing around with his kids. There is a dinner party, the hallmark of true married life, and it mutely goes on while everyone enjoys their good spirits, fine wine, and quiet conversations. Cut to Mark then playing a little catch with the young’uns on his wonderfully kempt front yard.

Edith and Frank

Cheers to Nate Fisher himself, Peter Krause. A glass of champagne is raised in his honor. He kisses his wife, Naomi Watts. Life is fairly vanilla sweet for him.

How can we make things interesting? By making these men self-implode, that’s how.

In the next scene Jack and Frank are scoping out some bar boo-tay as Krause, after cruising the ass of some woman, tells Ruffalo to love everybody you can; kids, wife, then once, just once, try someone else just because it feels good. It’s right here, as if pinpointing the epicenter of the volcanic eruption that will surely kill them all, that Naomi Watts enters the literal picture and I’m so clear on Krause’s philosophy; I am a full fledged member of that man club mantra.

Of course, it should go without saying that Watts and Ruffalo hook up.

There’s some audio of Mark asking if he should stop with the whole coveting another man’s wife thing, twice he does this, and all I can think is “um…no, actually. You should continue the lies and deception until we all get a money shot off from Watts and only then are you allowed to stop, Dumbass.”

Krause and Ruffalo verbally tête-à-tête each other as one parries with a behavioral misstep here, going home with the other man’s wife there. Naomi does an impromptu dance with the luckiest leaf in the world as Mark seems bent on driving whatever happy home and family he had straight into the earth. For those who enjoyed his underwear scenes in ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND there’s a copious amount of chest hair on display for all your human sweater needs; it almost veers into hazardous Robin Williams’ territory and you can’t help but feel that someone should have at least offered to Epilady that thatch.

So, by the time we understand we’ve got some adulterous wife swapping going on we understand that even the kids know what’s going on and all that we get at the end is Dern, on the verbal edge of breaking down into hysterics, says how she’d like everything back the way it was; she wants her husband, life, children, all pieced back together again. Sorry to be a killjoy here but this film looks like to have a train wreck ending that I am eager to look at and admire.

Remember fellas, even though you have a Dern at home, no matter tempting the Watts, you’ve got to just let it go. You’ll only end up a cinematic cliché which is most certainly how things will turn out here. Although, for Watts, I might consider drinking heavily, hitting it like an Ike and Tina Turner Saturday Night Fight, and simply transfer my guilt onto the booze. It could work. I would make it work.

Now, a serious note about the man who wrote the original story this movie is based off of: Andre Dubus. The man was a legendary storyteller and his subjects were usually men and women who found themselves at their very worst. He wrote some of literature’s best short stories in the 20th century, his work was adapted for 2001’s hug fest, IN THE BEDROOM, and was renowned for his inability to keep a marriage together; he was twice divorced and had six kids to try and tell him he wasn’t a complete fuck-up. So, his pain is your gain in this Cinderella tale of enchantment and infidelity.

Director: Grant Harvey
Cast: Emily Perkins, Katharine Isabelle, Nathaniel Arcand
Release: September 7, 2004
Synopsis: Set in 19th Century Canada, Brigette and her sister Ginger take refuge in a Traders’ Fort which later becomes under siege by some savage werewolves. And an enigmatic Indian hunter decides to help the girls, but one of the girls has been bitten by a werewolf. Brigitte and Ginger may have no one to turn to but themselves.

Prognosis: Negative, because I won’t see it in theaters. Positive, because I’ll want to rent it as soon as it comes out. Some slightly lesbonic werewolves? I’ll be right there.

The first image we get off this trailer is of an open forest. It’s wide with tall trees and sunlight breaks through the branches. The ground is snowy, twisted roots shoot out horizontally. A dream catcher (standard issue for every idiot in the Southwest with a pick-up truck or an AMC Pacer.) hangs outstretched. As the images of a pristine forest roll slowly by I think one thought: where the hell are the werewolves?

Cut to some Scot, wearing a beret with a fuzzy dingleberry on top of it, stands at the entrance to a door with a rifle. Two women struggle to make it through an archway that seems to lead to a desolate town square. We see the ladies, pale and slightly lifeless, hobble though a male gauntlet made up of Friar Tuck who looks like he stole Wolverine’s sideburns, a rifleman who looks like a lost member of The Hives, an Indian who looks ready to open a sixer of whoop-ass on any pale face looking to talk smack about firewater or peyote, and we get a quick look at a dude who I swear is the identical twin of that impish twerp from TANGO AND CASH who framed Stallone and Russell based on faked audio tapes but those guys went back and settled the score, big time, though. Before I can seriously contemplate whether it was or was the twerp, a flash of the titular flesh eating monster quickly juts into focus and is gone just as fast. Some feasting goes on, one of the chicks admits that something bit her (Ooo…bet you don’t know where that little Information Nugget will lead), and before I can start paying attention on any one thing, as this trailer is spinning faster than a drunken carnie behind the power switch for the Tilt-A-Whirl, two chicks are making out with each other in a hallway. (Cue slow Saxaphone).

After I rewind a few times we next get another woman into the mix who is holding a dagger, looking like a neo-suburban Goth who wants to “look the part” by dressing up in blankets and applying thick white foundation. Next, ol’ Friar Tuck himself starts telling somebody (ah, who the hell cares at this point) about sinfulness as one of the original pair of women is drenched in blood as she lay in bed, there’s a flash of a white face with spatters of blood on it, maggots swimming in blood, our Indian hero is killing something that wants to fight back, a dude is ready to kill someone with a hatchet, a woman holds two torches at once as she twists around like Indy in a snake-filled room, Indian man gets a dead-on hit against an invading werewolf, and then all hell is unleashed as every last remaining moment is filled with how this outpost in the middle of nowhere defends itself against a werewolf invasion. We do, though, get more pictures of bloody maggots, so that’s nice. I would go on to explain exactly what else in this thing but, suffice to say, it’s chockfull of violence, lesbians (two chicks at the same time kissing makes them honorary members no matter what), and fire; you can put aside any feelings about how terrible this movie is going to be as long as those three things are still in there at the end. Further confirming my suspicions is that the guy directing the film did a movie called AMERICAN BEER a few years ago. AMERICAN BEER. Something tells me this flick is mere inches away from the direct-to-video market. Great trailer, though.

Director: Taylor Hackford
Cast: Jamie Foxx, Regina King, Kerry Washington, Curtis Armstrong
Release: October 29, 2004
Synopsis: Born in a poor African American town in central Florida, Ray Charles went blind at the age of 7. With the staunch support of his determined single mother, he developed the fierce resolve, wit and incredible talent that would eventually enable him to overcome not only Jim Crow Racism and the cruel prejudices against the blind, but also discover his own sound which revolutionized American popular music. Nonetheless, as Ray’s unprecedented fame grew, so did his weakness for drugs and women, until they threatened to strip away the very things he held most dear. This little known story of Ray Charles’ meteoric rise from humble beginnings, his successful struggle to excel in a sighted world and his eventual defeat of his own personal demons make for an inspiring and unforgettable true story of human triumph.

Prognosis: So positive, I went out and bought a Ray Charles CD. Damn, if that wasn’t one of the better trailers I’ve seen in months.

I can’t tell you how inexorably Ray Charles is connected to my film consciousness. From his spectacular showmanship in the BLUES BROTHERS to the music playing as a soundtrack for the comedic goings-on as Del O’Griffith tries to steer a station wagon with his crotch in PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES with Mess Around playing on the car stereo and to the more muted moments of “Georgia” playing in a scene from Quantum Leap that I’ll never soon forget, Ray was music. He embodied soul and its essence.

I know the easy joke here, and probably when people go to review it later, to look at Jaime Foxx and bag on his obvious lack of movie credibility. It would be so easy to joke about it that it might cloud some judgments that will not see how his performance here needs to be seen out of the purview of all those other craptastic pieces of cinematic puke. I am not a fan but, man, this trailer stirs something inside if you simply let it.

I’m not sure if it was the music, the direction or the amazing supporting cast but there is really nothing I could say that would make me believe that this trailer didn’t deliver on all the major points.

This thing opens up and Ray is a kid. He isn’t yet blind as he looks up into a scraggly tree. Its branches are bare save for a dozen colored bottles hanging from its frail fingers and his mother lets him, and us, know he is on his way to losing his sight. He’s taught piano before his world darkens and the next thing we know, or are let to see, is Ray taking the stage in what is, ostensibly, one of his first gigs. He knocks over the chair that sits in front of the piano; people find it amusing, and then the opening electric piano bars of “What’d I Say” start in. The screen gets smoky and you can feel the forward momentum of this thing.

Foxx is shown as quite the ladies man, wooing a young woman at a restaurant, as scenes from his recording days flash by. Lest you think it’s just Foxx carrying this movie, Dudley “Booger” Dawson, Curtis Armstrong for those not in the know, appears on screen as a confidant to Ray. Clips from Ray’s nightclub days play quickly, but not frenetic, and we’re given sound bites just to make sure everyone is on the same page when it comes to his accomplishments. He was the first one to meld R&B and gospel and, at one time, he was rivaling Frank Sinatra with the kind of recording clout he possessed.

Of course, there were some downsides. Foxx is shown freaking out in a bathroom, the pure white light from the outside spilling onto the screen, as his addiction to drugs gets out of control and threatens to topple every last thing he had created. There are the moments of violence, the overwhelming celebrity he was thrust into and we’re given the feeling that even though he was adored by so many he was always alone in the dark behind those glasses.

The man directing behind the lens, Taylor Hackford, has made some great, and not great, flicks. He was the one who gave me a consistent way to annunciate “Mayo…Naise” through Louis Gossett Jr. in OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN but he was also the one responsible for inflicting the pain that was PROOF OF LIFE on us all a few years back. Since this film doesn’t have a whimpering, simpering, whining, crying, hysterical Meg Ryan I’m feeling like we’ll be safe on that front.

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