What happens when two young men let their love of movies, comic books, and all things “geek” take over their lives? They run away from their families, bringing only the most essential DVDs and comics to their secret, highly fortified underground bunker in sunny Southern California, where they start recording podcasts that will change the world.
Are they heroes?
No.
Are they geniuses?
Far from it.
Are they the future of this planet?
I sure hope not.
Simply put… Matt Cohen and Jesse Rivers are “Bagged and Boarded”.
BAGGED & BOARDED #16: Choose Your Own Misadventure – In which Matt and Jesse discuss which film to “Commentate” on, look over a pile of comic books, and just generally ramble on and on. Enticing, we know.
[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
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Episode #16 (MP3 format)
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CRYSTAL LAKE – Jason-mania is hacking its way across the country. The Marcus Nispel re-imagining of Friday 13th hits screens nationwide on Friday 13th. The original film recently came out on Blu-ray. They even put out a DVD of Friday 13th Part 3 with the 3-D effect. Everywhere you turn there’s a hockey mask and a machete coming at you.
In this episode, I’m having a bit of a chat with actor, writer, presenter, and now web producer, Robert Llewellyn.
There have been rather frothy retrospective celebrations of Sesame Street and Jim Henson in book form in the past, which were all well and good – as a child of the 70’s and a fan, I’m all for celebrating both. But it wasn’t until Michael Davis’s heavily-researched and completely candid 
If you’re like me (and you know, in your heart, you dearly want to be), then you have literally tons of old cassettes and records you’d like to import into your computer for use on various portable mixing devices. It’s often been a chore to hook up your cassette deck or turntable, particularly with the need for a pre-amp. Well, with the 
If there was any doubt that Shout! Factory would stick to an aggressive release campaign for new MST collections, let it be erased by 
It’s been years since the release of the first season, but the patient are finally rewarded with 
A landmark role for Peter Sellers and his last great film (sorry, Fu Manchu), 
Overlooked in the theater during its unfortunately timed (and marketed) Halloween release, hopefully 
Also getting a high definition release is Kevin Smith’s 
Long under the thumb of various occupying forces, Estonia spent much of the 20th century controlled by the Soviet Union. Despite all of these various oppressive occupiers, the Estonians were able to maintain their national identity through song – a story that’s told quite well in the documentary 
I’m still not entirely sure what the Martini Movies imprint is all about (though I know it has something to do with a game), but any excuse for a cable staple/guilty pleasure like 
It’s a little creaky here and there, but it was certainly a treat to watch the remastered edition of Douglas Trumball’s virtual reality flick 
Paramount has re-branded another clutch of titles under the “I Love The 80’s” banner – 
Harry Anderson continued to slum it in safe sitcom hell with the second season of 
Through Warners’ TCM imprint, those wanting an easy to pick up primer on some legendary flicks in their Greatest Classic Films Collection releases (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$27.98 SRP each). The 2-disc sets feature 4 films apiece, packed with bonus features including audio commentaries, featurettes, trailers, and more. The 
I’m not a fan of slasher flicks, but I’m sure fans will be delighted that the by-all-appearances naff remake has at least spurred Paramount to release new special editions of the first three – 
Explore the cinematic history of that awful day on the calendar and the hockey mask-wearing killer behind all the mayhem in the documentary 
Outside of House, you’d be hard pressed to find a more bad-tempered doctor than Ted Danson’s 
Things were stretching a bit thin by the time you get to the seventh season of 
Things had begun to get nice and developmentally awkward by the time the fourth and final season came along, so it was probably best that 
Talking dogs. In space. That is 
Oh no! Just when you thought it was safe to hang out at the Quick Stop…
If you’re a bit puzzled but there’s a little twinge of recognition niggling at your subconscious right now, it’s probably because you already know who Neil Innes is without even realizing it.
Paul and Storm are a comedy music duo, and they have been performing as a duo since 2004. Before that, they were one half of a cappella band Da Vinci’s Notebook for about 12 years. A Paul and Storm show is part music concert and part standup/improv comedy”“just enough of both to fit neatly in neither category. They like to engage the audience, and are known to award snack cakes and/or other prizes for good (and sometimes bad) behavior. Their show would be PERFECT as a cable special, and would make lots of money for whichever brave channel decides to air them first.
Jeff’s stint of reigning challenger in MoSF#1 (yet ultimately losing to Master Jonathan Coulton) has won him critical acclaim from around the world. Or is it criticism from around his house? Either way, he’s back for more and hoping to balance bringing the Fu with taking out the trash.
I suppose I am what you could call a “Multi-Instrumentalist”. That is a nice way of saying “Jack-of-all-trades, Master-of-none”. I began playing drums as a teenager and spent a great deal of energy during my 20’s trying to “make it” in the music biz. As a drummer, I have had the opportunity to play with some pretty incredible musicians, garnering literally DOZENS of fans over the years. In 2004 I joined the band Celestial Static, and spent several years melting some face with good friends Jeremy and Julie Elzerman. Once that ran its course, I decided to spend more time locked away in my studio, writing my own songs and learning to play guitar, bass and sing. It doesn’t pay the bills, but I have a good time doing it.
Edric has been writing music (off and on) for the past fifteen years. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty – and yes, Jonathan Coulton, who in addition to writing wonderful songs, also served as a portal to finding out about the Song Fu competition.
I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. Lately, I’ve been getting more into recording other singer/songwriters in my little, make-shift studio than I have been recording myself. I want Masters Of Song Fu to change that. I don’t really know what genre my music would fall under. Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been thinking of dropping the “BucketHat” from my stagename, but fear change.
Insane Ian is a comedian and writer from Baltimore, Maryland who specializes in all things nerdy, both in parody and original compositions. From Sci-fi TV shows and films, to video games, to comic books – no nerdy topic escapes his sardonic (and satiric) wit. Among his peers – such as Sudden Death, the great Luke Ski, Jonathan Coulton and, of course, “Weird Al” Yankovic – he is the only artist to have written this bio, and remains at the top of that list. Currently, his song “Guitar Hero” (from his upcoming album n3rds0ngs) was the 11th most requested song on the Dr. Demento radio show in 2008. Usually for a song, I.I. surrounds himself with talented people to make himself look better…and now is no exception, as friend and producer .hmmessage P { margin:0px; padding:0px } body.hmmessage { font-size: 10pt; font-family:Verdana } Benjamin Stahl helps on instrumental duties.
My name is Joe Lamb, I’ve been known online as JoeCovenant, or JoeCov, Or just Cov for the last decade or so. I’m 45 and have been performing for 40 of those years. Up until 2005 I was solely a professional actor/singer, but I am now also a Civil Servant and work for Her Majesty. I’ve been playing guitar since I was 10, but still think Bar Chords are things played in pubs. (I can’t do ’em!) I’m not too bad on the Bhodran and can pick out a tune on a keyboard when pushed”¦ really hard. I’ve always been frustrated that my ideas outdistance my abilities, so my output is always rather simplistic… But I like to think that, occasionally, synergy does its job well! This contest will be my first use of my new recording equipment… hope it doesn’t throw my limitations to the fore!
Mick Bordet steadfastly insists on bouncing between and across genres at every opportunity like a hummingbird with ADD, using an eclectic collection of instruments for his sonic palette, from guitar and ukulele to theremin, yobstick and electric harmonium. Mick is a founder member of “The Lunacy Board”, Scotland’s premier progressive avant-garde skiffle duo, and cites influences as diverse as Edgard Varèse, Ivor Cutler, Conlon Nancarrow, and Roy Harper, to name but four. The duo have recently released three debut albums, including one written, recorded, and mixed within a single day. Mick’s latest project is a year-long weekly podcast set in an alternative universe as it diverges from our reality.
Charlie Wolf has always been much better at writing songs than at writing third-person biographies about himself. While still a teenager, Charlie Wolf is already an accomplished ‘multi-instrumentalist’, playing guitar, bass, accordion, and keyboards. In the past year or so, Charlie has began playing private parties and coffee-house gigs in the Los Angeles area, which sounds way more interesting than it actually is. His music ranges from hilarious comedy songs to tender ballads, and more often than not, somewhere in between. He would like to thank the academy, but cannot, because he does not know where the academy is or how they would like to be thanked.
“Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree” is a one-man, music and comedy show for family audiences, starring Russ Rogers. While in college, twenty-some years ago, Russ Rogers was in a band called, “Buc Blaster and His Ukulele Rangers.” There are several noteworthy alumni of “The Ukulele Rangers,” including Song Fu Master Michael J. Nelson. Later, Rogers and Andy LaCasse (also a Ukulele Ranger) partnered to form the almost near famous, children’s music and comedy duo, “Kit and Kaboodle.” After ten years and three albums (still available on iTunes and CDBaby.com), “Kit and Kaboodle” broke up over musical differences. LaCasse was musical … an d Rogers was just different. Now, “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree” has been entertaining family audiences around Minnesota for the past five years.
The Masked Stranger (a.k.a Neal John Mac Rae), is a self proclaimed noise/folk artist from Nova Scotia, Canada. Although his work has gone completely unnoticed on an official level, he has still managed to garner several fans from Australia and amoungst his close friends. The Masked Stranger project started in 2004 when Neal John recorded “The River Song”, a simple panflute tune he furiously augmented and destroyed on his computer. Since then he has created roughly 30 other distinctly more destroyed and demented tracks under the moniker of The Masked Stranger. His music has been described as “a total disregard for musical theory”, “aaaaaaaah!”, “raw and grating”, “annoying”, “Twisting is a word I want to use to describe it… Very natural and earthly”, and “disturbing and yet… strangely enjoyable”. His most well liked and most consistant piece “Rue The Red” was described by Cape Breton goregrind artist Devin Meaney as “a posessed man jigging out on the strings of his creator. Like a puppet, devouring the flesh of god. And this is exactly what it reminds me of, no joke.”. This awkward and soil laiden musician’s journeys into the abrassive and the tribal only threaten to continue.
Heather Henderson has been entertaining America since she was seven years old. She got her start as a mini dancing superstar and co-host on Dance Party USA. Her career then made the natural progression towards Sesame Street and most recently a principal role in the Disney film Annapolis. Striving constantly to develop as an artist, The Big H sings with the bad-ass 60’s retro soul group SOULAMITE!, performs with the Revival Burlesque troupe in philadelphia, makes short films, writes funny songs, and is always looking for the next good audition. She hopes to have her own totally crappy and misquoted Wikipedia entry one day.
Bryce Jensen has been writing songs off and on for well over twenty years, but he has rarely shared any of them beyond his friends and family. His styles range from a capella to heavy metal with a lot of wimpy finger picking stuff in between. Bryce took part in the recent Holiday Special edition of the Song Fu and found the constraints and deadline to be quite a rush. He also learned that sharing his work with the world can be very rewarding. Back for this competition because he is hooked and needs another fix, Bryce is looking forward to whatever crazy challenges lie ahead.
Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works. He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.
On stage I am Timmy Vendetta. I’m 18 and I live with my mom and her wife. I hope to become famous and live vicariously through a hamster.
Crabbydad is a writer/sound designer/musician who, four years ago, was forced to leave all of his bands and musical compatriots behind in Chicago when his Old Lady got herself a proffesorin’ gig at a giant university in a tiny mid-Michigan town that’s devoid of any sort of culture, musical or otherwise. So he started recording songs with his kids and posting them on his blog for his four or five readers to hear. When he’s not recording songs about spiders and/or poop, he creates comedy, sound effects, and music for a company called Jellyvision, Inc.
Hank Green never wrote a song until his eternal passion for Helen Hunt (both as an actress and a woman) started off a multi-year YouTube project in which he writes a song every other Wednesday. The songs are part of a larger project in which he and his brother discuss their lives, their world, and the community of which they are a part. Their videos have now been watched more than 20 million times. Hank’s first album, SO JOKES, was just released and is available at DFTBA.com.
Name’s Shane Peterson. Live in Red Hook, NY. 21 years of age. Alleged film and music guru. Intrepid traveller breaking the walls of perception, riding the infinite wave…
Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time playing way too many video games and fighting with his roomate. Currently finishing up his degree in Songwriting from Berklee College of Music, he will be touring the country this summer with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.
“Hallelujah Ape” is the working name for the personal musical projects of Paul Abbott. When he’s not playing bass guitar and shouting in such bands as Three Minute Margin, he’s usually fiddling with a ukulele or trying to write Manfred Mann inspired songs for films that don’t exist. Main influences are The Bonzo’s, The Beatles and Fugazi. He owns many comedy things and likes to rub his face up against them when no-one is looking. He also co-writes the British Foghorn Company blog.
In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.
Denise Hudson once pulled a toenail during load in, later “nailing” the gig in front of an ex. Saving the phalangial flotsam for conversion into a guitar pick may seem a macabre jest; but does it indicate vileness, or merely a haunting dedication to her craft? Playing the piano like a dark pink freight train on a cloud, she’ll indulge diverse requests from Brahms to Nintendo themes. Denise was nourished by an intellectually wealthy family. She once acquired a flautist from a nearby Mexican restaurant to perform “mythical” elfin soliloquies for a be-stricken audience. UT Austin music school honed sticks, skins and sleeplessness skills; but you can’t edju-ma-cate the blues. She taught herself guitar, and her unusually skilled brother claims she “taught him to play drums.” Denise performed on his and others’ albums, in various duos, stupid hats, cover acts, and in a noteworthy “Texas blues folk rock band with creative lyrical twists & an (occasionally) naked lead guitarist.” A traveler, a poet, and sub-par housekeeper, Denise will continue churning out controversial family favorites in her awesome new home studio in 2009.
Hazen Nester is a multi-platinum-selling*, award-winning**, and incredibly gifted” songwriter. His works have been described as “heavenly”, “complex”, and “thought-provoking” by his critics and fans.” ”  He has, to date, three full albums”¡, two EPs”¡”¡, and is currently working on a new collection of work§. He holds a B.S. degree§§, an MFAâ•‘, and a PhDâ•‘â•‘ and currently lives in Michigan, where he spends his days writing songs and working in the fulfilling and worthwhile sector of public-access television. Apart from songwriting, his hobbies include cinema, golf, and the occasional role in various stage and audio productions. 🙂 [* – Lie, ** – Another lie, ” – Bold-faced lie, ” ” – His mom. They’re one and the same, really., “¡ – More lies, “¡”¡ – Yet another lie, § – Another lie. No, wait, actually that one’s true., §§ – In film. How appropriate., ? – Lie. What a surprise there., ?? – Do I really have to put this here?, 🙂 – That’s probably the most truthful statement in this entire document.]
Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware. Some of AudioMohel’s members admitted to being a bit intimidated by the professed experience and actual musical talent apparently possessed by the Song Fu Masters, but finally it was decided that if the need arose, sabotage would not be out of the question. To be used as a last resort, naturally, but not out of the question.
When she’s not bluffing her way through college courses or looking passably attractive from a distance, Molly Lewis enjoys playing ukulele, microwaving marshmallow Peeps, talking to cats, and Twittering. Early last year, she wrote two original songs, “MyHope” and “Road Trip”. “MyHope” is about the inevitable day when our children will learn how to navigate the interweb and how they will LOL at our old internet presences, namely MySpace; of “Road Trip”, Molly says it’s about “that astronaut lady who went crazy and wore the diapers, you remember that?” She has not written any songs since. Hopefully this competition will remedy that. When Molly was in middle school, she took up the guitar. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the mandolin. That sank into the swamp. So she took up the banjo. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the ukulele has stayed. And that’s what you’re going to get, Quick Stop Entertainment: the strongest ukulele in all of Tacoma, Washington.
Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years. A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline. While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time. With no fanbase, loyal followers, obedient minions or friends, Jarrett will rely on his music-crafting skills alone to win over converts and earn votes.
Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to make songs about weird stories and situations. It’s all about creating a musical scenario that is somewhat original, yet believable by some stretch of imagination. Jutze used to play drums in a heavy metal band, and then founded his own pop band where he played guitar. These days he’s mainly doing solo work for the fun of it.
There are many films from my childhood that I place upon a pedestal merely for sentimental reasons, despite glaring deficiencies in quality. You know exactly the type I mean. But then there’s 
There are a lot of low-cost portable video options out there, but there aren’t very many credit card-sized video players that will give you 2 GB of storage, a MiniSD slot, hours of playing time, AVI/MPEG ability, a built in external speaker, and included earphones for under $100. Well, ThinkGeek has got just such a 
Long a legendary cult tape often whispered about but rarely seen, 
In 1976, a group of British comedy and music luminaries got together for a benefit show to raise money for Amnesty International. In 1979, this charity gathering was rechristened The Secret Policeman’s Ball, and over the years would feature members of Monty Python, Peter Cook, Fry & Laurie, Rowan Atkinson, Pete Townshend, Neil Innes, Sting, Jackson Browne, French & Saunders, and many more. Long available in the UK, all of the classic Balls are now available in the US in the form of 
It seems like it’s taken years – because it has – but the we can now lay our mitts upon the eleventh and final season of 
Make the waiting for the next full season set a little easier with one of Nick’s holdover single-disc editions – 
He could be like battery acid in your ears, but the diamonds in the rough more than made it worth experiencing the comedy of Sam Kinison. He’s specials are finally getting the treatment they deserve with the special edition release 
All I could think while watching 
Warners has looked into the vaults and dug up four new-to-DVD flicks for their 
Okay, for the sole reason that it stars John Denver and John Rhys Davies, 
It did nothing at the box office, but 
Love is in the air – and Valentine’s Day is fast approaching – so it should be little surprise that Warners is releasing a 
Take Old School and make it about rock & roll dreams, and you’ve pretty much got 
Yes, I recall many a Saturday morning watching 
Paramount isn’t the only studio catching up on catalogue releases – Fox also brings their own basket of back titles to high definition with 
I admit it – with all due shame – I did watch at least the first season Blossom when it originally aired. In retrospect, I’m not sure why. It’s certainly your standard sitcom fare – except with a dancing Mayim Bialik. Am I being too hard on it? Well, you can judge for yourself with 
Another admission – there was a period when I read John Grisham novels. I’m not going to apologize – it’s a phase many go through, and then we move on. That means, however, that I’ve seen the quartet of films contained in the 
The second and final season of 
It’s not as good as he’s managed be lately, but 
Like Cops with even more junkies and dealers, Spike’s reality series 
Now that the classic specials have all gotten their due, the remastered edition treatment is turning towards the lesser of the Peanuts specials with 
One must marvel at the ability of 
Oh, Disney. What am I to do with 
Comedian Russell Peters delivers a one-two punch with a combo set of his stand up DVD and CD, 
In this episode, I’m having a bit of a chat with the creator of The Powerpuff Girls and Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends, Craig McCracken.
