Category: Articles

  • Soapbox: Adaptation

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    The Tricky Question

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    Sorry for the lack of columns recently, but a bout of illness and a rush at work has meant that most other things have fallen by the wayside. But I am here once again, ready to tackle subjects relating to books and literature. And boy do I have a good one for my triumphant return: Is there such a thing as a GOOD book to film adaptation?

    People tend to just accept that a book will always trump a film based on the book. The justification is that a film has to condense a lot of the content to fit it into a two hour movie and this in turn dilutes the story. Then you have people arguing that an actor/actress assigned to certain roles don’t marry together with the descriptions given in the book of that character. Or, and this is even worse, that the scriptwriters add in scenes that didn’t exist in the original text.

    And online lists of good books turned into bad movies, or bad books turned into worse films or good films that made amazing films have been compiled and argued over for years.

    I have to admit, I have complained about all of these in the past. As a book lover, I am precious about what I read. I devour it, spend days immersing myself in the world on the page before me, emote with the characters and have that same feeling of closure they do at the novel’s end. So when a book has been “destroyed” by Hollywood writers, I can get a bit uppity about it.

    Currently I am reading Shutter Island by Dennis Lehane, which as the majority will know was released as a movie starring Leonardo DiCaprio and directed by Martin Scorsese earlier this year. Although I am enjoying the book, I saw the film first and will forever picture DiCaprio as Teddy Daniels, which is another of my Hollywood making books into movies bugbears.

    Anyway, one thing I noticed when reading Shutter Island was how close to the text the movie’s writers had stuck. Paragraphs of dialogue had been carefully transferred over to the screenplay, scenes lovingly retained and the general tone of the story complemented. And this filled me with hope that there were some good adaptations out there.

    The early Harry Potter books definitely fall into this category. Philosopher’s Stone and Chamber of Secrets were practically copied verbatim, with Prisoner of Azkaban moving slightly away from JK Rowling’s original offering. However, by Goblet of Fire, the size of the novels had increased substantially and this meant that the film’s writers had to cut out chunks of story, raising angry protests from fans claiming they had “taken out the best bits”. And by Order of the Phoenix the writers were including scenes not featured in the books.

    Part of the problem that writers have in translating novels onto the screen is that there isn’t the same structure. Books include characters’ internal thoughts and feelings and often have a narrative voice running throughout. A film (on the whole) can’t do that, so there are often internal monologues which are chopped by editors.

    Although hated by a lot of people, the first Twilight movie stayed loyal to the books. In the second movie, a lot was changed because in the books Edward Cullen disappears for about 400 pages and the screenplay writers were no doubt fearful about what a room full of Twi-hards would do when they discovered Robert Pattinson missing for about two hours of the movie. And this is another reason for changes to the story – a character minor in a series of books becomes popular, so the movies’ writers concoct new storylines that expand the role.

    And although a comic and not a novel, Sin City was amazing in it’s dedication to stay true to the original artwork and dialogue. There were points in the film that I recognised as exact copies of panels from the comics, which really blew my mind. I can’t help but feel that it helps immensely if the director is a true fan of the work they are recreating on screen.

    However, on the flipside of this is the horrendously bad reimagings. In particular I am thinking of Jurassic Park, where characters who die in the first book survive until the end of the third film. Park creator John Hammond is turned into a grandfatherly twinkly eyed old so-and-so, as opposed to the money-grabbing egotistical character of the books. Many scenes (particularly action scenes) were cut, and it dumbs down the paelentological jargon used in the book.

    Other adaptations seem to take merely the name of the book and little in the way of story (yes, I am looking at you Fever Pitch). The Nick Hornby novel was about football in England and it spoke of the agony of being a fan of a sports team and watching your team lose. The Farrelly Brothers took it, added in that idiot Jimmy Fallon, turned football into baseball and removed any and all of the soul in the story. You never understood truly what being a fan meant to Fallon’s character.

    So, as to whether movie adaptations of books can ever be very good, the answer is yes, but more often that not they won’t. There is too much compression of the story, distortion of characters and studio interference that will often sully even the most loving of projects by screenplay writers.

    Katy Gordon

  • BIG BROTHER Blog Report: Day 19

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    Day 14

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    Govan got kicked out on Friday night with 72% of the vote. A real landslide and one I wasn’t expecting at all. This blindness to the hatred towards him may be due to the point that I don’t watch any of the peripheral shows.

    I don’t watch Big Mouth and I don’t watch Little Brother. Partly because I like making my own mind up about the housemates so I don’t like hearing what a Hollyoaks actor thinks about them and partly because they keep giving out information of what will be on the next show. I know the idea of spoilers on a reality TV show is a strange one, but they manage to do it anyway.

    It’s possible that if I had watched these sister shows to Big Brother I might have seen this coming but I’m still shocked that it wasn’t Dave or Ben going. Especially Dave after he aired his opinions that gay marriage is immoral. Maybe it was naive of me to think that this and his all round boringness was enough to oust him but either way I was wrong. The same with Ben, he has been pinned as the bad guy a few times in the week leading up to the eviction but it seems (and I’m glad) that the public managed to see through that. Shabby and Govan were on a mission to deflect anger towards Ben and it’s only fair that their efforts failed, and backfired in the case of Govan.

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    I was as shocked as you, Ben

    It was hard not to feel some sympathy towards Govan though as he panicked about the outside world’s treatment of himself and his family now that it was pretty obvious that he is gay. It can be easy to forget that despite often thinking that the world is a more tolerant and understanding place that there is still a large amount of homophobia out in the world. Saying that, it was stupid of Govan to only realize this problem two weeks into being on Big Brother. You’d think he would have understood this months ago or at the very least gave it a thought. I guess it’s that kind of lack of forethought that got Govan evicted in the first place.

    He constantly ratted people out and I guess that winds people up more than a schemer. It’s like prison rules. You can do anything except snitch!

    Not much has happened since Govan’s eviction but I did feel sorry for Sunshine which is a miracle in itself. The food got taken away during the week due to Shabby’s constant meddling and discussion of nominations. But, on eviction day the housemates got given some pizzas. Considering Sunshine is a vegan they gave her two small vegan pizzas and a packet of crisps. You’d swear by the housemates’ reaction she was given a four course meal.

    It was all pretty pathetic and spiraled down fast. The long and short of it was they moaned at her because she didn’t give her crisps to everyone else despite the fact that she shared her pizza with the housemates. I thought this was selfish on their parts and not Sunshine’s but I’ve been told by my girlfriend that I’m in the minority on that one. It seems I have found a soulmate in the food stakes. It’s mine and you can’t have it!

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    Bonkers

    Aaron Poole
    Follow Aaron on Twitter – @AaronFever

  • Contest Round-Up: 2010-06-25

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    Welcome to our weekly round-up of featured giveaways here at FRED. Every week, we’ll present a new clutch of DVDs, books, and other cool stuff you can take a shot at winning. All you have to do is click on the graphics below to be taken to their respective contest pages. And good luck!

    In conjunction with Warner Bros. Home Video, we’re giving away a copy of THE TOM & JERRY DELUXE ANNIVERSARY COLLECTION on DVD.

    In conjunction with Warner Bros. Home Video, we’re giving away a copy of THE CLOSER: SEASON 5 on DVD.

    In conjunction with MGM Home Video, we’re giving away a three (3) copies of HOT TUB TIME MACHINE on DVD.

    In conjunction with BBC Home Video, we’re giving away a two (2) copies each of HOW THE EARTH CHANGED HISTORY on both Blu-Ray & DVD.

    In conjunction with History Channel Home Video, we’re giving away two (2) copies of HOW THE EARTH WAS MADE: SEASON 2 on DVD.

    In conjunction with Cartoon Network Home Video, we’re giving away three (3) copies of BEN 10 ALIEN FORCE: VOLUME 7 on DVD.

  • BIG BROTHER Blog Report: Day 14

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    Day 14

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    The nominations this week are Dave, Govan, Shabby and Ben. At the time of writing this that could change as the housemates will do a task to avoid eviction so I won’t get into the voting too much.

    There is only one thing on my mind today: Crazy lesbian love.

    From day 1 I’ve had a problem with Shabby. This was initially based on her upper-class squatter, “independent actress” (you were in Casualty love, that’s not independent), suspenders and hat wearing nonsense. She tries too hard to be “wacky” and it drives me up the wall. It’s false and it’s pretentious which in turn is exactly how I feel about her.

    However, what I didn’t expect to see from her was all her teenage hormones flow out in a mess on national television. You see Shabby is in love with her best friend, her best friend has a boyfriend. It’s super kinky lesbian/straight girl forbidden love. And she can’t stand it anymore.

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    Love me, love me, say that you’ll love me

    Now it would be mean of me to point out that Caoimhe looks like a white Grace Jones. That her manlike features and large breasts are the perfect storm for lesbian attention grabbing. That Caoimhe is a clit-teaser leading her friend on purely for the attention and the fact that she is a whore for anything that moves. It would be mean of me to say such things so I won’t. But it doesn’t mean I’m not thinking it.

    I don’t really feel bad for Shabby in this scenario either. I’ve noted here before that I feel she’s a raving lunatic but I didn’t realise why before. She has either regressed or always was about 6 years younger than her age. Wild mood swings, constantly horny. I can sympathize with having these symptoms (I’m self aware) but she’s crossing over into creepy territory.

    On more than one occasion now Shabby has cornered Caoimhe alone and confessed her feelings. The first time she did this was pretty funny considering how Ife set the whole thing up but if Shabby was a grown up about it in the first place it never would have become such a big deal. Since then she hasn’t shut up expressing her undying love.

    The Tree of Temptation (brilliant) gave Shabby a task to stick with Ben and be super nice to him for a day. The prize: a romantic meal with a fellow housemate. It was no surprise that Shabby was going to choose Caoimhe for this but it was highly inappropriate considering A) Caoimhe has a serious boyfriend and B) She’s a friend you’ve just admitted to fancying. It’s just got the words awkward written all over it. And it was.

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    Would you like some of my fish taco?

    But what I thought was hilarious about it all was afterward Shabby couldn’t contain the secret of her task and risked a nasty punishment by confessing her mission to Caoimhe. What was the point in doing it? Shabby needed to tell Caoimhe what she did for her because Shabby thought it was an amazing gesture of love.

    Pathetic.

    Will this affect her chances of eviction? Probably not. I’m sure the public are probably lapping up all the unrequited love. It’s soap opera stuff. But I personally think that it’s getting a bit weird now. It’s almost as bad as Mario and Ben

    Almost.

    I’ll be back when someone has been kicked out.

    Aaron Poole
    Follow Aaron on Twitter – @AaronFever

  • In Praise Of… DUNE (1984)

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    In Praise Of… DUNE (1984)

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    As all good geeks are well aware, 1982 is considered a high water mark for genre films. It may not have translated into box office mojo, but that year gave us an unbelievable string of classics: Tron, Blade Runner, The Dark Crystal, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, E.T., The Thing, Poltergeist, and, yeah, OK, The Secret of Nimh. But I like to remember another special year of Hollywood Science Fiction and Fantasy, one that gets a little short changed in light of that roster of beauties, but holds a special place in my heart: 1984. Orwell’s signature year gave us Ghostbusters, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, Gremlins, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension, 2010 and David Lynch’s much maligned box office bomb, DUNE.

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    Now, once again, I’m not here to go into the full history of trying to bring Frank Herbert’s epic science fiction masterpiece to the silver screen. I’m just here to tell you why I love it. Besides, there’s plenty of info out there to find, and it’s all pretty fascinating. (Let’s just say it’s a blessing and a shame we never got to see Jodorowsky’s version. Salvador Dali may well have been a genius, but his insistence on playing the Emperor while sitting on a huge gold toilet may have been a sign of the muse waving goodbye.) There are many who’ve always thought that the book was best left alone, that it was an impossible thing to translate into a motion picture. I disagree, they’re different animals, and with the proper care a “difficult” book can make the transition well. The same was always said about Watchmen, and I happen to think that Zach Snyder did an amazing job. It’s a miracle to me that he got to make an uncompromising version of the story, with R rated violence and non-heroic characters, all with studio money. Lynch was in over his head, no doubt. But I can’t imagine the insanity that must have gone on at the studio before, after and during the production of DUNE. And what came out the other side was probably as good or better than could have ever been expected.

    None of that was on my mind when I went to the theater that day back in December of 1984. I’d known about DUNE mainly through my mother, who was an avid reader of science fiction and fantasy from the time she was in her teens. I’d always gathered that it was probably too cerebral for me, and was probably more concerned with mythology than slam bang action and adventure. Earlier that year, around early May, I picked up a copy of the magazine “Fantastic Films”, and it was dedicated to the summer of ’84 movies and beyond. I used to pore over its pages every other day, I read every article and obsessed over the many photographs in the features. I was busting to see Temple of Doom and Ghostbusters, but DUNE was a close third. It was the last article in the magazine, and the pictures really did my head in. They seemed to be depicting a world I’d never seen before in a sci fi movie, and really captured my imagination. Plus, it had Sting in it, which I thought was pretty cool. (Come on, he was alright in The Police.)

    When we walked into the theater, we were each handed a standard 8 1/2 x 11″ sheet of paper. I figured it was like a mini program, a flyer that told a bit about the film. (This is a now legendary piece of movie memorabilia, never before or since attempted. Talk about the people at Universal shaking in their boots!) When we got to our seats, we had a better look at it, and realized it was a glossary of terms used in the DUNE Universe. And it was double sided. Crap, I thought, this is just what I’d feared; this movie’s going to be too damn smart for me. I was 14 at the time, and was, ya know, an above average 14 year old. (I have two older brothers, there’s a nearly 10-year gap there, and consequently I grew up pretty quickly.) But with this one promotional item I was sure I’d be lost for the next 2 or 3 hours.

    And then something amazing happened. A young Virginia Madsen showed up on screen, and speaking directly to the camera, gave us a quick history of the universe we were about to enter, it’s feuding houses, and most importantly, the Arrakis born spice, Melange. And then, from the moment the DUNE logo hit the screen and Brian Eno’s theme blared out at us, I was hooked. This was a different kind of story, a different kind of science fiction. This was epic, with characters and settings that truly were like nothing else I’d seen in a movie. I was as obsessed with the Star Wars galaxy as every other kid in the world, but by the time we got to the end of Return of the Jedi, it was so familiar and so often emulated in other works, that it became sort of “old hat” for me. This thing I was watching was taking me someplace else entirely, and it would seem, at just the right time.

    Now, here’s where I’ll get side tracked a bit to give some peripheral information, and then I’ll get back to the reasons I like the movie so much. In hindsight it’s clear that Universal were obviously hoping for a Lucas-like franchise with this thing, especially as there is a series of books that Herbert had written about these characters, but god knows why. I mean, there was a bit of a merchandising bonanza for DUNE, which I find as intriguing as the mechanics of the film. It’s simply bizarre to me that so many companies wanted on board the DUNE wagon. There were coloring books, activity books, action figures, model kits, trading cards, story books, tee shirts, stickers, toy guns and best of all a big rubber sandworm toy, which is unintentionally hilarious. As my friend Brian Heiler of Plaidstallions.com is so fond of saying, “I can’t believe the studio thought Baron Harkonnen was going to be the next Darth Vader.” This was most definitely NOT a kid’s movie, which would appear to be just one of a dozen ways it was doomed from the start.

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    If you’ve never read the book, I can tell you, it IS dense. It’s something akin to The Lord of the Rings in that Herbert created a language and mythology that went back thousands of years. It’s also very long. Trying to make a commercial blockbuster out of it while retaining the qualities that made it legendary to begin with would have been headache number 7 on that “doomed” list for Lynch. It’s written so that characters are constantly talking to themselves in two and three page long inner monologues. A lot of information is conveyed this way, so the film script would have been never ending. Lynch’s solution was to let us hear the character’s thoughts as scenes played out, which was jarring for audiences. But I think they were lost long before the first monologue played out. There is an awful lot of information to keep track of.

    So, back to the film. I’m not gonna say it’s a stone cold classic. It’s not a “great” film. It’s not in my Top Five, or Top Twenty. The effects are a bit dodgy, some of the acting and writing is “wooden”| for certain, and the climax is so rushed you can practically hear the studio accountants ripping huge chunks out of the script. But there’s something about it that I absolutely love. It’s kind of bat shit insane (one of many reasons I’m obsessed with Flash Gordon. That article will be coming soon, oh don’t you worry…) Let’s start with the producer, the legendary Dino De Laurentis. The prolific Italian is better known for his failures and questionable choices than he is for quality, but no one could accuse the man of a lack of passion. The set and costume design is mind blowingly good, starting with the Emperor’s throne room and the meeting of the Spice Guild Navigators, who’s leader, the Third Stage Guild Navigator, is a giant slug like creature floating in a tank, with a mouth shaped like, well, a vagina. (This is the first “proper” scene in the film, and god knows what weird movie people thought they’d wandered into.) But let’s get to the main cast: the whole story rests on the capable shoulders of then unknown Kyle MacLachlan, but he handles the burden nicely, and is fortunate to be supported by the likes of Jurgen Prochnow, Jose Ferrer, Kenneth McMillan, Patrick Stewart, Max Von Sydow, Francesca Annis, Brad Dourif, Linda Hunt, Sting, Richard Jordan, Dean Stockwell and Sean Young. (And if you look closely, you’ll even catch David Lynch himself making a cameo as a Fremen spice miner.) Holy crap! It’s like A Bridge Too Far for nerds! Clearly this was meant to be “event” movie making.

    Obviously hoping to replicate some of Queen’s soundtrack success for Flash Gordon, Dino got pop group Toto to handle the chores. (Eh, let’s just say they’re no Queen.) The previously mentioned costumes were designed by Bob Ringwood, who a few years later would dress the Batman for Tim Burton, and every set seems to be made of marble and brass. But I’m not doing any of the dressing justice; everything is just different. Nothing in this universe looks like anything we’d seen before in a science fiction film. The guns look like rectangular bronze and black “boxes”; Feyd and Rabban’s outfits are like S and M meets rock star; the ships are in Moebius territory and put most sci fi vehicles to shame; and the sandworms (though effects wise are incredibly dated) were designed by the great Carlo Rambaldi, responsible for Elliot’s best friend, E.T.

    With a script adapted by Lynch himself, (with many “Lynchian” moments snuck in; the Baron getting the pus extracted from his facial blemishes, fondling and then murdering a slave boy comes to mind), and the peripheral character actors in the film are extraordinary, very Fellini-esque, there’s no way any of the above should work at all. It’s like a bunch of great athletes from different sports got together and decided to start playing jai lai professionally. But it DOES work. This dense, epic story translates into a 2 hours plus movie with style. It’s compact when it needs to be, and it earmarks the key moments of the book just fine, and if you’re on the ride with it, it never drags. It never feels like all out escapist fare, but then again the source material wasn’t. The mistake anyone would make in going into it (as Universal must have been hoping), is thinking it’s going to be another good guys vs. bad guys adventure like Star Wars, or Avatar. It will take you to other worlds, but it’ll make you think while you’re on the trip. I know Sci Fi Channel attempted to improve on Lynch’s vision by making mini series out of the first two Herbert books, but, while not awful, they’re hopelessly studio bound and clearly “made for TV”. A re launch has been in the works for years, with director after director jumping ship, due to “creative differences” and studio madness. Frankly, I think people are finally catching up with the Lynch film, and trying to figure out how to attempt anything better than what we’ve already been given. If this is the only version of DUNE we get, as far as I’m concerned, it’s THE version of DUNE. And I love every spiced up, Eno sound tracked grain of sand in it. If you’ve never given it a chance, or hated it years ago and have dismissed it, I beg you to give it another spin. For me, it’s as unique a vision of science fiction and fantasy as anything George, Ridley or Peter have come up with, and I think it’s time David was let in from the cold and joined their club. Be seeing you…

    Jason Lenzi

  • BIG BROTHER Blog Report: Day 10

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    Day 10

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    Davina opened my eyes to something last night during the eviction show. The first evicted housemates in all 11 seasons of Big Brother UK have been women. I’m not necessarily shocked by this but I am intrigued. What’s the root cause of this?

    Rachael was the first to go last night. Despite the fact the crowd was chanting “Get Sunshine out” (which she heard and will no doubt result in a mental breakdown over the next few days) Rachael was an unsurprising evictee if you thought about it.

    The first night as people were being chosen for the show Big Brother showed the housemates’ VTs to the crowd. Rachael, who referred to herself more than once as being the best looking person she knows, had the pleasure of the crowd turning on her after just 30 seconds. It was a beautiful thing to behold as a girl on the high of being chosen for the show is quickly torn back down live in front of millions watching. It’s part of what fascinates me about Big Brother and it’s part of what’s wrong with Big Brother too.

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    Why does everyone hate me?

    I was going to try and dissect the “women out” phenomena by trying to find a connecting link between all of the first evictees. But the problem is, there really isn’t one. Other than the XX chromosome connection. So what is the real connection?

    As Davina rightly pointed out during the post eviction interview, the larger portion of Big Brother voters are female. Now I could draw conclusions from this alone and resort to old theories about how women hate women and women hate beautiful women even more but I feel like it’s too obvious an answer, although I’m not ruling it out.

    I think we also have to look at why women are always nominated by the housemates over men in the early stages. The public can’t vote these women out unless they’re up for eviction in the first place. The house was split evenly with seven men and seven women, so why were 3 girls on the chopping block? If we take the stereotype that women hate beautiful women, then why did Rachael not get nominated by any women in the house? She only became available for eviction when David replaced himself with her.

    There has been a theory over the years that men are intimidated by intellectual women. I think we can all agree that this theory is not applicable here. Did David replace himself with her because she walked around in her knickers a lot and his predilection for christian values meant he had a problem with her?

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    Too cheeky for you?

    The only thing I can really take from it is that whatever it is that causes this coincidence of female evictions, it’s probably what has driven John James insane for the last week. His moods and reactions to Rachael have been so extreme that it has to be a primal instinct within him to hate her. And maybe that primal reaction is within much of the public.

    Am I reading too much into this? After all Rachael only got 37% of the vote so she’s obviously not a runaway loser but she was one of three women available for eviction so maybe the public was spoiled for choice.

    It does however point towards a worrying trend that the 3 loudest and most opinionated women in the house were the ones in trouble this week. Is there something we’re not admitting to ourselves?

    Aaron Poole
    Follow Aaron on Twitter – @AaronFever

  • Soapbox: Conventional

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    Conventional

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    When I went to the Wizard World convention in Long Beach in LA in 2005, one of the first things that I did was to make sure that I knew where the convention was being held and what the quickest, easiest route to the convention centre was. As soon as I had that figured out, my next course of action was to find a convenient pub. There was a pub straight across the road from the Long Beach Convention Centre called “The Auld Dubliner” and given the fact that I’m a young Dubliner, I had to at least give the place a try to see what it was like. The bartender was from Donegal and as soon as I spoke to him, he new that I was from Dublin. And just like that, I found myself a home for the time that I’d be in LA, especially considering the fact that I’d be in LA on the 17th of March for Paddy’s Day. Being an Irishman in an Irish bar on Paddy’s Day in LA is pretty cool, but knowing the bar staff in that bar would be even better, so I made it my business to get to know the folk tending bar in the few days running up to Paddy’s Day.

    I arrived in LA on the 12th of March and the convention didn’t start until the 18th so I had a fair bit of time between hitting LA and going to the convention. I kept myself busy by touring around, going sightseeing, going to malls, seeing whatever was in the cinema at the time, even if that meant having to sit in a cinema in Disney and watch Keanu Reeves play John Constantine. It also meant that I got to spend a lot of time in The Auld Dubliner in the run up to Paddy’s Day. By the time that the evening of the 16th of March rolled around, I had only had a pint in one other place besides The Auld Dubliner, and that was in the ESPN sports bar in Downtown Disney. Normally sports bars aren’t my favourite place to drink a pint, but I felt that reading a pile of comics in the sports bar while drinking a pint would be nerdy enough that I could be comfortable there. So on the night of the 16th, after a huge dinner and more than a couple of bottles of beer, I decided that I should see a bit more of LA, and I decided that the best possible way to do that was to go on a pub crawl up the main street leading away from the convention centre back towards Pacific Coast Highway where my hotel was located.

    It really did seem like a good idea at the time.

    Despite the fact that I use the term “pub crawl”, very few of the places that I visited after leaving The Auld Dubliner were actually pubs. I was in restaurants; I was in night clubs and about two hours after embarking on the pub craw… I ended up in an amusement arcade. At this point, I have to admit that there’s a period of time I just do not remember. I remember going in to the arcade because for some reason, I had to show the guy at the front door my I.D. in order to get in to the amusement arcade. It was all bright lights and loud noises and even though there was almost no chance of getting a drink in there, I couldn’t resist going in. To this day, I do not remember any of what happened in that place. After showing my I.D. to the bouncer, the next thing I remember is leaving the arcade carrying a giant stuffed panda. I don’t know if I won it, stole it or bought it but somehow I ended up leaving the arcade with a giant stuffed panda. I decided pretty much straight away that his name was Peter.

    The pub crawl was based on a left-to-right pattern, wherein I’d go from one side of the street to another. This was harder than it sounds because, as a Dublin native, I’m used to just crossing the road whenever there is a chance to do so and not pay much heed to traffic lights or pedestrian crossings. In LA, crossing the road whenever and wherever you please will just get you and your panda shouted at. But both myself and Peter managed to make it across the road unscathed and we wound up in front of the next stop on the pub crawl… Hooters.

    Despite whatever attraction that Hooters may or may not have had for the twenty five year old me, it was the next stop on the zig-zag pub crawl so I had to go in for at least one drink. I thought that getting some food might be a good idea too, but I still wasn’t sure if Peter the Panda was a vegetarian yet. When I went in, I got a table and put Peter in the seat opposite to me. I purposely got a smaller table with seats rather than a table with stools as at that stage of the evening the chances of either of us being able to balance on a stool were fairly slim.

    After a couple of drinks, a small meal and some pretty one sided conversation, I decided that the next brilliant idea would be to buy Peter a Hooters t-shirt. There was no particular reason for this other than I was quite drunk and I thought it’d be funny. After buying the t-shirt and wrestling it on to Peter, I revelled in just how funny I was and lapped up the laughs and compliments that we were both getting from the staff. It was going pretty well until heavy set lady with a Southern accent decided that she didn’t like the idea of a panda bear wearing human clothes. It was pretty ironic though; she looked more than a little bit like a bear herself.

    With no hint of amusement or even curiosity, the woman wanted to know why Peter was wearing a t-shirt. She didn’t want to know why he was sitting at a table with me, she didn’t want to know why he wasn’t drinking his beer and she didn’t want to know if Peter was a vegetarian. It actually turns out that he was, I had to eat all of the food myself. No, the only thing she wanted to know was why Peter was wearing a t-shirt and when she asked, she asked aggressively. I looked at her for a second and told her that it was part of a protest against the fur trade. “I’m a member of PETA” I told her, and Peter was Peter The PETA Panda. The reason that Peter was wearing the t-shirt, apparently, was to demonstrate how silly it was for people to wear animal fur by showing how silly an animal looked wearing human clothes.

    I thought it was funny.

    The bear-looking lady took huge offence to this. She started talking about freedom to wear whatever she wants and America being a land of liberty and then she started yelling at me, telling me that I should go back to whatever country I came from because the fur trade isn’t going anywhere. Now, I have no strong feelings on the fur trade one way or the other, but all of a sudden I felt passionate about it in a very loud, very vocal way. But most of all I think, I was just annoyed that the bear-looking lady didn’t think I was funny.

    So I stood up and voiced my new found opinion on the fur trade. I don’t think that I ended up winning the argument, because I got kicked out of Hooters and was told never to return. To make it even worse, the bear-looking lady was allowed to stay in the restaurant and when I got outside and realised that Peter was still inside, I wasn’t allowed to go back in and get him. One thing that I’ve learned over the years is that it’s never a good idea to argue with staff in a restaurant or a bar when you’ve had a few drinks. It never works out well for anybody. So I decided to cut my losses, leave Peter to the tender mercies of the bear-looking lady and head back to The Auld Dubliner where I should probably have stayed in the first place.

    When I got back to The Auld Dubliner, the seat that I was in earlier that day was still free, so I sat back down, and ordered another drink. It would have been like I never left but for the fact that the barman told me that Seth Green had just been in the pub. He arrived about ten minutes after I left and departed a few minutes before I got back.

    Paddy’s Day came and went as it always does. The day was full of beer and laughter and stodgy food and more beer and introductions and new friendships. It was exactly the kind of day that I hoped it would be.

    For anyone who over indulges on St. Patrick’s Day, I can fully endorse going to a comic convention in blistering heat as a hangover cure. The first day of Wizard World LA 2005 was on the 18th of March and it was an amazing day. It was the first time that I’d ever been to a full scale comic convention and I was a bit overwhelmed by it all at first but it felt good to be in the company of like minded folk. Every so often though, it was nice to be able to leave the Convention Centre and head over to the pub to get a breath of fresh air and a pint and a bite to eat.

    At the end of the first day, I went back to the pub purely to get some dinner and then I was planning to head back to the hotel and collapse from tiredness. But halfway through my dinner, someone came up to the bar to book a table for himself and a group of friends. I recognised the guy from the convention floor so I was paying a bit more attention than usual to what he was saying and who he was booking for. When he said that the booking was for “Marvel Comics” and plans that I had to leave the pub early disappeared. Waiting an hour to see who was going to come in for dinner wasn’t a huge difficulty as I had bought a lot of stuff at the convention that day. I had a lot of books and comics to read, though as time went on, I tried to make sure that anything I read was a Marvel comic.

    When the crew from Marvel Comics started arriving, their table wasn’t ready for them yet so Victor the barman told them that they could wait at the bar next to where I was sitting, have a few drinks and Victor would call them when the table was clear. There’s a time to be restrained and there’s a time to step up and make yourself noticed. This was one of the times when you have to step up. I introduced myself to the nearest person who turned out to be one of the Spiderman editors at the time, Axel Alonso. We chatted for a while and as more folk started to arrive, he introduced me around to his friends. Some of the names I recognised, some of them I didn’t. Somehow I became the focus of attention and I talked about how I enjoyed the convention, about how it’s so different to anything that we’d have in Ireland, how I met Kevin Smith for the first time that day, etc. But I started to run out of things to say, and when that happens, I always fall back to the same thing. I start telling stories. So I told them the story of me falling flat on my fact the day previous in the pub while trying to do my Michael Flatley impression and I told them the story of Peter the Panda. It was just then that Joe Quesada walked in to join the group and at the same time Victor came up to let them know that their table was clear for them.

    Over the next two days of the convention, I saw some of the same crowd at panels and booths or just walking around the convention floor and they always made the effort to acknowledge me or say hi or stop to chat briefly. I’ve written before about how living the Nerd Life has certain advantages over living life the ordinary life of the masses and another advantage that being a nerd brings is that the people who we admire are very accessible to us. There’s any number of comic conventions in America during the course of the year where you can meet your heroes and they’re almost always friendly and courteous and willing to make time for a photo or an autograph. Being treated with respect by people you admire just makes you admire them more.

    The next comic convention that I went to was the first annual Dublin City Comic Convention, being held in Temple Bar Music Centre at the end of November in 2006. The most notable guests at the convention were Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch who were riding high on the success of The Ultimates. And in a uniquely Irish twist, the convention kicked off on the Friday night with a pub quiz in which Millar and Hitch were competing. Needless to say, they won the quiz. But given the amount of beer that I drank that night, I sort of feel like I won too.

    After nowhere near enough sleep, I went back into Temple Bar the next morning for the convention and the differences between the LA convention and the Dublin convention were enormous. The LA convention was a mass of stands and stalls selling everything from replica weapons to bootleg DVDs to t-shirts to videogames to comics. Comic creators were giving panels about their craft, Joss Whedon was talking about Wonder Woman and The Hulk was walking around the convention floor stopping to talk to anyone who approached him. The Dublin convention consisted of vendors crammed into the main dance hall of the Temple Bar music centre, selling their wares off tables that looked like they were about to collapse. Bryan Hitch was signing autographs on the stage in the dance hall and Mark Millar was signing autographs in an adjacent corridor. All along the queue for a Millar autograph, lesser known comic artists were sitting at tables trying to get people to buy their original art. I was very happy with the fact that I got a page of original art from the Angel: Masks one shot from IDW that was drawn by a native Dubliner named Stephen Thompson. That was looking like it was going to be the highlight of the day, until I finally got to meet Millar.

    I had two books with me that I wanted Millar to sign, and even if he had signed them, handed them back to me and moved on to the next person, I would have been happy enough, but he made the effort to say hi and ask me how I was doing, was I having a good time, was I at the quiz the night before. Then he absolutely shocked me by telling me that he recognised me, and not only did he recognise me, he was able to tell me that he remembered me from Wizard World in LA the previous year. It was pretty amazing. There’s people that I interact with every day that wouldn’t recognise me if I met them on the street, but even after twenty months and probably meeting a few thousand other people, Millar still remembered me.

    Being a nerd and being a comic book fan is rewarding in and of itself. Validation from others isn’t something that we need, we do what we do because we enjoy it and it makes us happy and that’s more than enough reason for doing anything. But I do think that the nerd community is pretty unique in the respect that the professionals give to the fans, partly because a lot of the professionals started out as ordinary fans themselves. And to be honest, a certain level of respect is something that I’ve come to expect when I’m lucky enough to come face to face with the people that I admire. But sometimes you get more than you hoped for. Sometimes all it takes is meeting the right person at the right time and a story about a panda named Peter.

    Simon Fitzgerald

  • Contest Round-Up: 2010-06-17

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    Welcome to our weekly round-up of featured giveaways here at FRED. Every week, we’ll present a new clutch of DVDs, books, and other cool stuff you can take a shot at winning. All you have to do is click on the graphics below to be taken to their respective contest pages. And good luck!

    In conjunction with Shout Factory Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of IT’S GARRY SHANDLING’S SHOW: SEASON 1 on DVD.

    In conjunction with Shout Factory Home Video, we’re giving away three (3) copies of DEATH RACE 2000 on DVD.

    In conjunction with Shout Factory Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of MLB BLOOPERS: BASEBALL’S BEST BLOOPERS on DVD.

    In conjunction with Shout Factory Home Video, we’re giving away three (3) copies of LEAVE IT TO BEAVER: SEASON 3 on DVD.

    In conjunction with BBC Home Video, we’re giving away two (2) copies of OCEANS on DVD.

    In conjunction with Summit Entertainment, we’re giving away three (3) copies of REMEMBER ME on Blu-Ray.

  • BIG BROTHER Blog Report: Day 8

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    Day 8

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    Bye bye Rachael, Rachael good bye. Brilliant. I’m bloody chuffed with Dave. Ok she is not gone yet, but I have a good feeling about it. Hold on, I’m getting ahead of myself here. Let me go back a bit.

    So here was me expecting to tell you all my thoughts on this week’s nominations. Sunshine (unsuprising), Dave (also not very surprising) and Shabby (I hate her with the power of a thousand suns but I thought she was settling in well in the house so I was shocked by that one). But when Big Brother anounced the nomination results the housemates weren’t given long to think about it before being rushed into a task to save themselves from eviction.

    The nominated three had to dress up in mouse outfits and grab some cheese over spinning wheels in the fastest time. I could explain the task better but what they were doing was not as important as the result of what they did.

    Dave did the task the fastest and won. He was told he was saved from nomination but had to choose another housemate to replace him on the chopping block.

    Having to make this decision in front of them all was fascinating to watch. You could really see him think and panic about who to pick. An awkward situation which wasn’t made any easier by the likes of Shabby telling him to pick someone he doesn’t like and saying “I know exactly who I would pick”. Harsh.

    He eventually went with Rachael. An understandable decision as he did nominate her and she’s an absolute cow. She instantly bursts into tears and makes a real scene of it. Govan storms off like a child. Nathan was one of the few people who had a brain and said “well, he had to pick someone”. While I got a good giggle out of it, it was a terrible situation to be in and guilt tripping David was going to get you anywhere.

    Still. I’m happy.

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    Looks like this mouse will stay in the house

    As per usual, nominations effect people in different ways. Sunshine seems to have just taken the news and gotten on with it. She’s been almost likeable since being told. I did say almost. But Shabby, well, she’s losing her mind.

    In what seemed to be a very normal conversation, Ben was talking to Shabby about how he could never tell if her reactions to things were her being genuine or just being a bit dramatic for the fun of it. He seemed to say it in a friendly way and mentioned because she was an actress this can be a common trait.

    Well, you’d swear he just called her a pig fucker. She flipped the lid and seemed like she was going to resort to punching him. While this act could have won her the whole show she instead resorted to being a stroppy teenager and telling him to go away.

    Fair enough, she got insulted by the comment, although I don’t really see how, but she made such a production of it that Shabby confirmed his sentiment. I hope someday she’ll see the irony in her statement that (paraphrasing) “acting is just my job it doesn’t have anything to do with my personality”.

    What disgusted me most though was that she made Ben beg for forgiveness. And she still acted like he was the scum of the earth after hours of his grovelling.

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    Psycho killer: Qu’est que c’est

    I realise I do a lot of bitching during this blog, however one person who really impressed me this week is John James. He doesn’t have book smarts but he seems to have people smarts.

    While the man’s brain consists mostly of candyfloss he has managed to figure out a few people and their motivations.

    I won’t go into his little fight with Rachael because I feel he let himself down a bit there but he managed to point out a lot of truths during the rest of the day.

    He successfully pointed out that Ben put up with Shabby’s tantrum because he is desperate to be liked by everyone in the house. He also correctfully called Rachael out on being the snarky arogant monster that she really is too. He even had the self knowledge that the only reason Rachael fancied him was because he wasn’t talking to her. The man is a regular Freud, but you know, without all the mother sex.

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    Man of the people / Man of the stupid people

    Although the mother/sex thing might not be completely out of the window. Josie, (a very homely, down to earth, motherly type figure) seems to be winning the battle for his affections. He has regularly flirted with her and seems to have no problems admitting openly that he likes her.

    The most unlikely of romance? Maybe not, he seems to be a bit of useless man around the house. Remember the pizzas? So Josie might be the type of girl that can look after him. I’m probably being unfair and it’s something purer than that.

    Probably not.

    Aaron Poole
    Follow Aaron on Twitter – @AaronFever

  • Review: HAPPY TOGETHER

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    Happy Together

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    happytogethercoverThe various filters, speeds and exposures through which Wong Kar-Wai presents his films would for most other directors seem little more than affectations. Indeed, on a purely aesthetic level, Wong’s films might not look so out of place when stacked next to a Tony Scott feature. But the ends to which Wong uses his stylistic touches separate him from the more flash-oriented players. His is the cinema of the broken heart, defined by elliptical structures and vibrant cinematography courtesy of Christopher Doyle (one wonders if his absence on Wong’s latest feature, My Blueberry Nights, was as much to blame for the director’s first stumble in nearly 15 years as his decision to make it his first English-language film). One of the most visible and most-beloved figures in contemporary art cinema, Wong’s precisely framed pictures stand out because of the universality of their emotion: when a shot freezes on an action as innocuous as a handshake or speeds into a blur as masses swarm around central characters in bustling urban areas, we do not see these effects but feel them.

    Wong is a postmodernist of the heart, breaking up the narrative to get inside the memories of characters in a way that stresses the emotional, not intellectual, nature of metaphysics. It’s an approach that’s never been equaled, and the only time any other film managed to tap into that same emotional vein of fractured narrative, it took two auteurs – Michael Gondry and Charlie Kaufman – to approach the level of lonely ol’ Wong. His characters, whether located in the past (the anti-wuxia film Ashes of Time, the “Chinese Graffiti” throwback Days of Being Wild), the present or even the future (2046), search for love against vast backdrops. In most of his films, Wong places his characters in the middle of swarming urban environments, sweltering working class slums that are always the poorest financial and the richest cultural area of any metropolis.

    Chungking Express took place in the titular, multinational sector of Hong Kong that erased cultural borders to make the tales of pain, loss, and vague, necessary hope look as universal as they felt, and Happy Together takes matters one step further. The story of two quarreling gay lovers, Happy Together whisks its Chinese leads to Argentina, using natural wonders (Iguazu Falls) and rundown cities (Buenos Aires) as a fitting background for the deteriorating relationship between the calm, gentle Lai Yiu-fai (Tony Leung) and the dynamo Ho Po-Wing (Leslie Cheung).

    Opening with a splash of color as the couple leaves Hong Kong for Argentina, the film cuts harshly to black-and-white as the two enter into what we learn is but the latest of a series of devastating breakups instigated by Ho’s adulterous, abusive behavior and reconciled by his ability to win back Lai each time by sheepishly begging, “Let’s start over.” Mirroring Lai’s despair, the monochrome captures Ho’s almost psychopathic torture of his lover in crisp detail; unwilling to return immediately to Hong Kong, Lai gets a job at a local nightclub, where Ho routinely visits with a new man in tow each time. Some of these moments are almost too much to bear, watching the look on Leung’s face turn to pure agony as his love mocks him. Just as Lai nears the breaking point, Ho shows up at his doorstep, battered, bloodied and barely conscious.

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    At this stage, Happy Together reverts to full color, using the wide variety of canted angles, odd focal lenses and splashes of color to communicate both Lai’s excitement of nursing his ex, whose mangled hands are bandaged in place, back to health, as well as the stomach-churning undercurrent of understanding Lai won’t let himself recognize, a knowledge that Ho will still manipulate and coerce him back into misery. Wong’s precise casting allows the audience to better understand the divide between these two characters: Cheung, who appeared in Wong’s Days of Being Wild, where he also toyed with his image as a founding member of Cantopop, plays Ho like a rock star without the stardom, a balls-out loon with thirsts incapable of being slaked. Leung, on the other hand, is one of the most subdued and affecting of any actor of any nationality (or generation, for that mater). His strength lies not in the explosive movements that Cheung brilliantly unleashes but in the internalization of his feelings and thoughts until they bubble into his eyes, where they become unmistakable and devastating. To see Lai hurt is to see Leung hurt, which only compounds the effect of the poor man’s tribulations on the audience. Lai attempts to shield himself, resisting Ho’s physical and emotional teases, but his desires get the best of himself and he reenters into a romance with Ho, restarting the cycle.

    Though the situation rapidly deteriorates, Wong maintains the use of color stock, revealing that the depressing starkness of black-and-white actually protected us somewhat from facing the full brunt of the realities of heartbreak. Yet the director softens Lai’s misery when he has the protagonist leave the nightclub to get work at a Chinese restaurant. There he meets Chang (Chang Chen), a Chinese ex-pat whom he befriends. Chang is everything that Ho isn’t: like Lai, he is calm and measured, a placid individual just looking for normalcy. So tuned to Lai’s frequency is he that Chang gets his own voiceover lines, in which he discusses his life and his budding friendship with Lai. He might even be gay: an attractive female co-worker makes a pass at him, but Chang lightly rebuffs her, explaining his actions to Lai with the excuse that he dislikes her voice. Chang prefers women’s voices to be “deep and low,” and when Lai sets down the phone to quickly perform and errand, Chang sees this and rushes to the phone as if checking the line just so Lai can brush against him when he returns to grab the receiver.

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    As Ho continues to push his relationship with Lai to its latest breaking point, Lai’s bond with Chang strengthens. Chang relates how he got exceptional hearing from an eye problem he suffered as a child that strengthened his other senses. “”I couldn’t see,” he says, “so I listened.” Thus, he is more empathetic and understanding of Lai, who’d long ago been blinded by the supernova of Ho’s diva-like radiance. Though their relationship never progresses to the romantic stage — at least so far as Wong shows us — the intimacy between the two, at last fully reciprocated for Lai, gives the beleaguered lover the courage to finally break from Ho for the last time. Once he does, however, he finds that Chang has left Buenos Aires, off to see another Argentine landmark.

    Now alone after closing one door and having the other closed on him, Lai spirals into his darkest depression yet, stooping to meaningless sex in bathrooms and theaters to dull the pain. The sex in Happy Together constantly degenerates, from the passionate intercourse that opens the film to the loathing — much of it self-directed — in Lai’s later tryst with Ho. Finally, it becomes anonymous, something that Lai, once the person who longed for love, engages in for the visceral kick. The like-minded Chang’s “rejection” of him edges Lai closer to Ho’s characteristics, and his usage of cheap sex without stakes gives Lai an insight into Ho’s behavior. Lai’s shift toward Ho’s mannerisms is contrasted with Ho himself, who rails against his ex for the break-up but, secreted away from prying eyes, bursts into uncontrollable sobs of regret. Perhaps Ho’s flaw was not Machiavellian evil but an inability to properly express his feelings, which we can plainly see in private hem much closer to Lai’s typical mindset.

    It’s tempting, and oh-so facile, to compare the film to Midnight Cowboy, that other story of the perils of gay love in society. Yet that film relied on naturalistic acting to tell an otherwise oversimplified and unrealistic story, while Wong uses poetic aestheticism to spin a believable tale. Too, Midnight Cowboy forced one of its characters to die for the film’s homoeroticism, a sort of false redemption that spoke more to its pulled punches and attempt to play to more conservative audiences. Wong, on the other hand, uses the physical pain inflicted upon one his gay characters to examine the emotional, even existential, plights of the pair. Furthermore, Wong presents this tumultuous love affair as the sort of turbulent romance that couples of any sexual preference could experience. Schlesinger condemned his latent homosexuals for their sin, while Wong, without ever breaking out a soapbox, demonstrates how gay love should not be separated from what some obsolete members of society consider to be “true” love. Ho and Chang could easily be two ladies vying, whether they know it or not, for Lai’s attention — in fact, the structure of an exploding, id-driven hedonist and the supportive, empathetic emotional rock standing at polar ends from a confused but ultimately affable protagonist somewhat prefigures an equally devastating account of broken love, Two Lovers.

    However, as enthralling as the narrative is, Wong uses his characters for more than a mere love story. One of the film’s first shots, of Lai and Ho heading out to Argentina, shows a customs official stamping a passport. The dated stamps recall the expiration dates used in Chungking Express, a thinly-veiled reference to Hong Kong’s looming “expiration date” as a British colony before its handover to China three years later. Here, however, the characters openly come to symbolize Hong Kong’s transition. Lai and Ho represent the relationship between Hong Kong and the British power that once controlled it. British rule had its benefits — Wong, after all, is working with considerably more freedom than his contemporaries in the rest of China received — but the crown also exploited and manipulated the colony. It’s possible, then, that the Chang, less adventurous and inspirational but sturdier and more relatable to Lai, represents the China that would reacquisition Hong Kong in the same year. On the flip side is Chang, whose Taiwanese heritage reveals that he has his own unexamined issues dealing with colonization and cultural appropriation, in his case stemming from Chinese aggression.

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    This subtext might explain why the central idea of Happy Together is displacement, as Hong Kong fits neither with England nor, with its use of Cantonese over Mandarin, much of the rest of China. Lai, the clearest representative of an uncertain Hong Kong, wanders between two partners, weighing his pros and cons when with one and feeling utterly alone when completely separated from both. Lai says that his “happiest days” with Ho occurred when the more careless man got himself attacked and had to rely on Lai, thus forcing the volatile lover to calm down. Following World War II, Hong Kong recovered almost instantly from Japanese occupation as Mao’s Cultural Revolution led many of China’s businesses to relocate their industries to Hong Kong. While Britain was busy waging battles in India to delay the inevitable, Hong Kong enjoyed prosperity and development. But the desire to be a part of their own people must have weighed on the denizens of Hong Kong, and for all the fear of change there is an anxiousness to get away from Britain (Ho) to be with the more similar China (Chang). Hong Kong was one of the last British colonies that the once-mighty empire retained, and its transfer affected both. No wonder, then, that Ho breaks down so completely; he’s crying not only for his own loss but the end of the final chapter of British imperialism as that nation’s avatar.

    Though the story occurs in Argentina, Lai’s actions bring him closer and closer to a return to Hong Kong to set aside his feelings of displacement and anomie: first he works as the doorman of the nightclub, always standing outside the club looking in, before moving to the kitchen of a Chinese restaurant and, finally, to a slaughterhouse, where he notes that the odd hours re-tune his body to Hong Kong time. His time with Chang, beside prompting the final split with Ho, also inspire Lai to return home, where he must face penance for stealing his father’s money to finance his trip. The film’s original Chinese title, Chun gwong cha sit, is an idiomatic expression meaning “to expose something indecent,” less a reference to its display of homosexuality and more to its demonstration that indecent love is far more complex and harmful a situation than which genders are involved. The English title, taken from the Turtles hit that appears in the film as a cover by Danny Chung, is more germane to portraying the actual depths of the love story. At first it is a bitter ironic headline above the acrimony between partners, but Lai’s infatuation with Chang and their compatibility suggest that the title really applies more to their relationship. By traveling to the waterfalls before returning to Hong Kong and subsequently stopping in Taipei to take a photo of Chang from his family’s shop, Lai sets up a pursuit of Chang and the possibility for stable love between the two as they reenter China. Lai and Chang, the symbols of Hong Kong and China, respectively, may indeed find happiness together, forming a symbiotic bond that advances them both. Who could have guessed this emotional gut-punch could end with such a hopeful implication?

    Happy Together has been released on Blu-Ray by the fine folks at Kino International, and the results are revelatory. Previous home video releases, including Kino’s previous two, flattened and cropped editions, have largely been awful (check out screengrab comparisons at DVD Beaver to see the horrendous quality of so many editions), but Kino’s restoration here is astonishing.

    The rich, often surreal color tones are captured in perfect clarity and the soundtrack, though not an essential part of the package, is well-balanced. On its own, the work on the film qualifies Kino’s BD as one of the best Blu-Ray releases of the year, and, frankly, Happy Together isn’t as packed with extras as one might expect from either Criterion or Eureka! However, the two included features, an interview with Wong for the Museum of the Moving Image and Buenos Aires Zero Degree: The Making of Happy Together, a combination behind-the-scenes doc/deleted scenes collection that shows how Wong brought a crew to South America without a script and originally shot a three-hour film with numerous subplots that were dropped, are exemplary. The documentary offers a great insight into Wong’s process of drawing a very specific emotional thread from judiciously editing a jumble of unformed narrative, while the interview provides a fair overview of Wong’s attitudes and influences that feels far shorter than its 45 minutes due to Wong’s disarming, amusing nature. Complete with trailers for the film and Wong’s previous feature, Fallen Angels (also available on a terrific Blu-Ray from Kino), Happy Together belongs in any cinephile’s collection, and it’s a great entry point into Wong’s complicated but visceral, deeply felt style. One of the video highlights of the year.

    Jake Cole is a journalism undergraduate at Auburn University who routinely writes about film, television and music on his blog, Not Just Movies. He aspires to become a critic upon graduation, but nobody’s had the heart to explain to him that criticism is dead. Should be a nasty surprise.

  • FREDagator: 2010-06-15

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    Have you seen the new OK Go video? It’s got tracksuits…

    Wanna see an animated Plastic Man pilot starring Tom Kenny that Cartoon Network turned down? Sure ya do…

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  • FREDagator: 2010-06-14

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    RIP, Jimmy Dean. Your sausage became a mystery meat, but you supported a young puppeteer named Jim Henson…

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  • BIG BROTHER Blog Report: Day 4

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    Day 4

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    They’re only in the house a couple of days and already the bitching has begun.

    For those who think that only the first season of Big Brother was a “social experiment” and the rest isn’t, you’re doing it wrong. I always find the interaction of people in group scenarios extremely fascinating on a psychological level and this year the battle lines are getting drawn pretty early.

    I mentioned in my first report that Govan was likely to create a partnership with somebody in order to gain a little power in the house. Early indicators seems that it will be Beyonce/Rachael. Which is not a bad choice for him, she seems eager to bitch about everyone in there and likes to throw her weight around a little bit.

    It all started when the housemates made their first shopping list. Sunshine was trying to stress that food should be bought with the little money that they had (crazy concept, I know) and the Rachael-Govan monster had a little rant about it behind her back in the kitchen. They claim it wasn’t fair that, as a vegan, Sunshine got her own food. To a certain extent I agree with that as her veganism is a choice and not a health requirement but all she was asking for was food, not a new dress or something. I have no issue with Rachael and Govan being a little bit annoyed by it but they were talking about it as if they deserved a medal for not making it an argument.

    This carried on to when Rachael found out that they didn’t buy any tokens to use with hair dryers and straighteners. The hair dresser nearly shit herself over the idea that she might have to tie her hair up for a few days.

    To go from acting high and mighty about “buying for the group” during the shopping list while looking down her nose at Sunshine for asking for something personal to then moaning to everyone that they should have spent money on her hair is a pretty big drop in standards in a short period of time. Rachael is painting herself as a selfish prima-donna and I don’t think she even realises it.

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    Yeah, keep quiet, you might last longer.

    The housemates won their shopping budget with the first house task. They were suspended 40 metres in the air as they sat around a dinner table. One housemate needed to stay in the house and scared-of-her-own-shadow Sunshine asked to stay grounded because she is “medically” unable to stand heights. Right. Anyway, after their sky lunch Sunshine had to draw newspaper quotes in a Pictionary sort of game. For every quote they guessed right, they would get more money for their shopping budget.

    I have to give her some credit, Sunshine did a decent job with some awkward phrases. One was “squatter” and I know I would have gone a much ruder route than she did, so fair play.

    One thing that made me roll my eyes though was John James during this task. He is literally as dumb as a bag of bricks. You can sometimes see the brass cogs turning in his head as he tries to spell his own name. Keep an eye on him as the days go by because he’s really going to make a show of himself. He kept asking if one phrase had anything to do with Australia. I don’t know why other than it’s probably one of 18 words he knows.

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    Does it have anything to do with me?

    Poor old Mario. I have to admit, I’m starting to fall in love with this guy. First night there, while talking to Caoimhe he was asked if he liked anyone in the house. He said plastic man Ben was nice. Caoimhe then makes a pretty rude gesture for someone you know less than 24 hours and asked Ben if he was gay. He said no. Instant rejection for poor Mario. Some nice pay back arrived for Caoimhe when Ben claimed he thought she was gay. Sorry dear, but that haircut is doing you no favours so you’ll have to accept that one.

    Mario has been sneaking about as the mole fantastically. He has lied through his teeth about the whole ordeal but not once has he come across as a sneak or deceiver. Everyone is buying it hook line and sinker because of his doe eyes and softy exterior. All the while he has been planting evidence of a different mole and throwing food into the pool. He’s the perfect pick for this, even if he was picked out of a hat.

    I said before that this task is possibly going to make him a show winner and I still stand by it. He is getting plenty of screen time at a stage that we’re still getting to know the housemates and he gets to have some good stuff with The Tree. For anyone who saw the Celebrity Big Brother season last Christmas will tell you, The Tree is a fantastically funny inanimate object.

    Here’s hoping he passes this task and sticks around because it would be a terrible shame to lose him.

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    Mario, man of the people/man of the mole people

    Quick round up of my other thoughts:

    1) Stop talking about cameramen. They’re there to film you, its not a big conspiracy, it’s the fucking show. We don’t care.
    2) I still hope Shabby dies somehow.
    3) They need to stop imitating Josie’s voice, it’s kind of cruel. And an ear ache.
    4) Where did Ife go? You’d forget she was in there.

    I’ll be back with more nattering during the week.

    Aaron Poole
    Follow Aaron on Twitter – @AaronFever

  • Soapbox: Wait For It…

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    Wait For It…

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    The thing about a lot of mysteries is that once the mystery has been solved and the questions have been answered, the source of the mystery isn’t fun any more. For five years now, we’ve been waiting for the mystery of Ted Mosby’s wife to be solved. We’ve looked for clues sifting through red herrings and yellow umbrellas, all the time waiting for any information that might bring us a step closer to finding out who The Mother of Ted’s children is. But How I Met Your Mother isn’t about the mystery and it isn’t about the answer. It’s about the story and it always has been.

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    The original idea behind HIMYM (I’m lazy so I’ll be using the abbreviation from here on) “was let’s write about our friends and the stupid stuff we did in New York” and the mystery behind who the titular Mother is grew from the central idea of telling funny stories. The mystery element of the show that has become such a big part of what the show is will never out shine the fact that HIMYM is a show about a guy telling his story to his kids, and a few years from now when the mystery has been solved and we know all the answers we’ll still be going back to watch re-runs because the story of How is more important and more entertaining than the mystery of Who.

    But a little speculation never did anyone any harm and the easiest thing to speculate about (in my opinion) is the timeline. Old Ted is telling the story to his kids in the year 2030 and his kids look as if they are in their mid to late teens. Some of the stories that Old Ted tells his kids are pretty explicit and he does seem like a pretty liberal father but I can’t imagine that he’d tell the story of Barney’s “Perfect Week” to kids any younger than that. So if we take it that Ted has his first child no later than 2014, we can safely say that his first child is conceived somewhere in 2013 or early 2014. Upon the return of HIMYM to our screens later this year, that’ll give Ted roughly three years to meet The Mother, court her, get married and conceive a child. Assuming that Ted doesn’t have a shotgun wedding, it’s very possible and indeed likely that Old Ted will at least get to the point in his story where Ted starts dating The Mother in the upcoming season. And unless Ted gets his storytelling style from Will Hayes in Definitely Maybe, he won’t try to disguise the name of The Mother. But even if he does, the famous yellow umbrella will (I assume) be a dead give away.

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    At the start of Season Three of HIMYM, Old Ted tells the kids in voice over that although they know the short version of how Ted met The Mother, the one involving the yellow umbrella where we see a visual of the umbrella blowing in the wind down an empty street, there is a longer version of the story which details how Ted became the man he needed to be in order to meet The Mother. Or to put it another way… Ted is actually the least interesting character in the show.

    It seems at times that Ted’s sole purpose in the show is to observe his friends’ shenanigans so that he can tell the sometimes inappropriate stories to his kids years later. Like Xander Harris in Buffy, Ted is “the one who sees”. But Xander gets better dialogue. Ted is basically the sitcom version of an “everyman” and though he does have his fair share of wacky shenanigans, the people around him do manage to provide most of the laughs and the emotional core of the series. We already know what happens with a lot of Ted’s story; he meets someone, he gets married and he has two kids.

    Now that’s not to say that Ted hasn’t had his fair share of shenanigans, namely the Pineapple Incident and the night of the Paddy’s Day party, but they both involve a lot of alcohol and the encouragement of Barney. On a side note, even though he’s a fictional character, Ted’s vomit-free streak from ninety three up until he puked on himself in “Jenkins” is very impressive. That’s the kind of thing that an Irishman really appreciates and it does make me wonder exactly how much of the characters are based on the real life experiences of the show’s creators.

    One aspect of the show that is definitely based on the creators’ real life experiences that is also impressive to this Irishman is the fact that the main hang out for this show’s group of friends is based on a real life pub in New York City. It always seems more realistic than another group of Friends who hung out in a coffee house outside Central Park. The pub in HIMYM, McLaren’s, is based on a real life pub in New York City called McGee’s and McGee’s even gets name checked in the show by Marshall near the end of Season 4 when he produces a bar graph of his favourite pies and a pie chart of his favourite bars. It may seem like a silly scenario, but it’s just one of many, many silly scenarios that the writers put Marshall Erickson into… but more on that later. On the pie chart, McGee’s was listed as Marshall’s second favourite bar. I’ve been lucky enough to have been to McGee’s twice, and given the fact that it’s just around the corner from the office of DC Comics, I think I’d agree that it’s my second favourite pub in New York too. From the time I spent in McGee’s I could tell that it’s just the kind of place where someone in their late twenties would accumulate a lot of stories with his close friends.

    mclarens

    As he’s observing the lives of his friends, each of the four people in the world that ted is closest to have an impact on his life in different ways. They say that we are all the product of the people in our lives, so it makes sense that the four people in the world that Ted spends most of his time with would have such a profound effect on him.

    You can say a lot about Barney Stinson, but what he gives to Ted is the idea of getting as much joy out of life as possible. Barney’s not afraid to take chances in life, and that inspiration might be just what Ted needs in order to take the chance that leads to a life with his future wife. Barney’s character has to walk a very tight line in his constant pursuit of sexual partners. There is an element to his character that’s not a million miles away from the sub-human “writer” Tucker Max. Part of what makes Barney’s character so likeable is the way he’s portrayed by Neil Patrick Harris who makes Barney appear as roguish without ever coming across as evil or cruel. Also, Barney does have a heart and he shows every once in a while that he cares a huge deal about his friends, whether he’s trying to reunite Marshall and Lily, fighting off tears at their wedding or rushing across town to see Ted after he’s hit by a taxi. By his own admission, when Barney gets sad, he stops being sad and starts being awesome instead (true story), but much like Dr House, when Barney does display his honest emotions it usually hits home. And if you’ll allow me to return to a bit of speculation, it’s entirely possible that before the end of the series, we will finally see Barney follow his heart and end up with the one woman he’s truly loved in his life, Robin. In any of the scenes of the gang in the future, we never see Barney and we never see Robin, we never hear about how either of them ended up but we do know that they are part of the kids’ lives as Old Ted refers to them as “Uncle Barney” and “Aunt Robin”.

    Since Robin was introduced to the show and to the group of friends, her primary focus has always been on her career. She’s never been afraid to try her hand at anything that she thinks would forward her career from fluff news to working a job that required her to start at four in the morning. While Robin has occasionally made sacrifices in order to be with her friends, she’s never given up and she’s never backed down from a job. This is what she gives to Ted, apart from occasional “benefits” that is, she teaches him that anything in life that’s important is worth fighting for. Even though we never see Robin in the future, Old Ted tells us that she has travelled the world and has lived in many different countries. This is another dream of Robin’s that she never gave up on and presumably it’s one that links in with her career as a reporter. I’m also assuming that, even though we don’t see her, Robin is a part of the kids’ lives despite the amount of time she has spent overseas.

    During the second season of the show, the producers wisely decided to film a scene with the future kids that is directly involved with the big reveal of who The Mother is. Whether the filmed scene actually reveals who The Mother is or whether it is just a scene of the kids reacting to the information that Old Ted gives them isn’t known yet but nothing stays a secret forever and there’s a very good chance that even though there was a minimal crew on hand for the actual filming something will eventually leak out before the big reveal is aired. The logic behind filming the kids’ reaction to this part of Ted’s story was that the kids had to look the same age at the start of the story as they do at the end of the story as the telling of the story can’t realistically take any more than a few days and at this stage, the original footage of the kids is well over five years old. Lyndsey Fonseca who plays Ted’s daughter has certainly got older looking over the past five years and this year has had….a lot of exposure in two hit movies, Hot Tub Time Machine and Kick Ass. But you can be sure of one thing, whoever The Mother is and no matter when the reveal is made, The Mother has passed Lily’s Front Porch Test.

    Lily has always been the mother of the group, trying to get Barney to admit his feelings for Robin, helping Ted stand up to his boss, and going as far as acting as Slap Bet Commissioner. Even in her professional life, she manages to be an authority figure as a school teacher, often bringing in her friends to give (often ignored) life lessons to the kids in her class. Lily shows Ted how to be a parent, long before Ted becomes a parent himself. Lily really steps up as the parent of the group after she accepts Marshall’s proposal of engagement, and it’s Lily’s engagement to Marshall that prompts Ted to begin his search for a wife.

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    Jason Segal’s Marshall Erickson is the heart and soul of the show. Marshall loves Lily without question or doubt and is never afraid to show that. There’s no other woman in the world for Marshall, and even when he tries to fantasize about other women, he has to kill off Fantasy Lily before Fantasy Marshall can be with another Fantasy Woman. Despite any protestations from Barney, Marshall is Ted’s best friend and in a lot of ways, he’s Ted’s conscience. Marshall is open to everything that life has to offer him and sees the world in an open, honest, accepting way, which means that the writers can get Jason Segal to do almost anything and make it seem plausible. Over the years, we’ve seen Marshall give a lecture about The Cock-A-Mouse, sing his way through paying his bills, get addicted to visual aids, struggle to “read a magazine” in work, dance to such a degree that he gets iliopsoas tendinitis (or Dancer’s Hip), and on one occasion he nearly made me cry when he got rid of his Fiero. Nearly. More than any of the other characters in the show, Marshall has the biggest influence on who Ted will become, on who he has to become in order to meet The Mother. Marshall is loyal, trusting, romantic, and will go to the ends of the earth for the people he loves, even if that means knocking out Doug the bartender despite his initial reluctance.

    None of the characters in the show ever seem to be really stuck for money, and it seems like Old Ted has been able to afford to give his kids everything that they need in life. But he knows that one of the greatest things that he can give his kids is the story of his life and of how they came to be.

    Old Ted has learned that people will leave you, money comes and goes and that things that you own end up owning you. But stories last forever, all you have to do is tell them.

    Simon Fitzgerald

  • FREDagator: 2010-06-11

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    Is this a freaky shark, or a Giger alien? (Hint: It’s a freaky shark)…

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  • Toy News: Exclusive VENTURE BROS. Toys Sneak Peek

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    Ahead of their debut at Comic-Con next month, Bif Bang Pow has given FRED readers an exclusive look at the packaged versions of Henchmen 21 & 24 from their upcoming line of VENTURE BROS. toys, plus a special TWILIGHT ZONE bonus

    So without further ado, here’s your look at Henchman 21 & Henchmen 24 (plus a peek at Kanamit from THE TWILIGHT ZONE:

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    [ad#contestbox]

  • BIG BROTHER Blog Report: Day 1

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    Day 1

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    Here we go again.

    Big Brother UK has reached it’s 11th and final series. For those not in the UK and Ireland, you may not realise the kind of juggernaut this has been on television for the last decade. It has defined a long trend in broadcasting changes, been front page news on innumerable occasions, caused international incidents, raised nobodies to celebrities and tore them back down again. Like it or loathe it (and the people have been picking sides with conviction since day one) you can’t get away from it. At it’s best, it’s a tool for social education and at worst its trash television made to shatter dreams. For the next 13 weeks it’s going to dominate a lot of the press and airwaves.

    I bloody love it. And I feel it’s final bow needs to be talked about.

    The UK set up is very different from the American one for many reasons but two key reasons in particular:

    1) Housemates are forbidden from discussing nominations.
    This is important because the US version is very tactical and seems to be more about “alliances” than friendships or having a good time.

    2) The housemates (minimum of two) who have received the most nominations for eviction will be voted out by the public.
    Now here is where the game really changes because not only are the housemates being watched by the public but they’re also being judged by them. Harshly, too. The pantomime of eviction nights are a cruel thing but part of the beauty of the show. These fame hungry lunatics are driven so demented by whether or not they are being received favourably by the outside world that they start to lose grip of their actions inside the house and things start to get nutty from there.

    Add to this the belief that they’re all going to be stars once they leave the house (which in reality is a really slim chance as very few previous housemates are doing anything more than their old jobs or sitting on their arses) and you get a mindset that is more of a ticking time bomb of delusion rather than one of rational thought.

    Last night the new housemates entered. The style in which they brought them in changed from previous years. A group of 81 hapless hopefuls were assembled and 13 were chosen on the night. They didn’t really mention why they did this clearly but it was an obvious ploy to stop their housemates being leaked to the press before the night itself.

    The 14th housemate was then chosen at random out of a tombola and given a special task for the first week. As seen in previous seasons the housemates have often theorized that a mole would be planted in the house to confuse them, well this year BB decided to be pretty blatant about it and made the poor man dress in a mole outfit, wear a sign saying “I am a mole” and made him sleep in a mole hutch. His task is to not be fingered as a mole. They weren’t joking when they called it his impossible mission.

    But, I’m getting ahead of myself here. It was launch night so I’m going to give you my first impressions of our cast and save the house antics for another day.

    Here’s my run down. Be aware, I’m going to be blunt.

    Ben

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    Nob nob nobby nob nob. Extremely posh but in denial about it. Probably isn’t even in denial but he knows that the public who watch this show won’t like his upbringing (we’re a bitter bunch) so is trying to claim he is a man of the people. He has worked behind the scenes on a few reality shows so I’m surprised they let him on. Won’t last very long. He’ll most likely walk out after somebody gets aggressive with him. It’s a shame because he’ll probably be fascinating to watch considering he’ll be the only one in there with table manners.

    Caoimhe

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    Bollocks, I was hoping there wouldn’t be an Irish entry this year. Made all the worse by the fact that she’s a southside Dublin girl (ask an Irish man about “D4 girls” and stand back). She seems instantly dislikeable but my girlfriend thought she was pretty. I don’t agree with my girlfriend on this though. The only plus to having her around is she’ll probably snog the first guy who shows her interest and her name is hilariously confusing to the Brits. One snag, she pronounces her own name wrong. She says its “kee-vah” but in reality its “Quee-veh”. Lame.

    Corin

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    “OhmygodlikeJordanismyhero”. Blech. Slapped up like a glamour model and all the class of one too. What was fun though is that as soon as she said she wanted to be like Katie Price the crowd instantly started to “boo” her. She claimed defiantly that she didn’t care what people think but unfortunately my dear they control you on a show like this so you better care. They’ll probably love her by the end though as the British public get retarded over a “tart-with-a-heart” character.

    Dave

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    As soon as I saw the monk outfit I knew I didn’t like him. Used to be an alcohol and drug abuser until he claims he felt the joy of god and has been getting “high” with the help of the lord ever since. Apparently has big holy raves on a regular basis. This seems to be just a way for him to try and promote his little church of godoholics so good luck to him. He could be comedy but his laugh seems forced and he’ll most likely turn out to be boring once he stops trying so hard.

    Govan

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    Token queen of the house. He might get crushed in the first few weeks if he’s not careful. Seems like he could be a nice bloke though. He’ll need to get a “bestie” soon as it seems he loves a good gossip and that will go begging if he doesn’t create a harem around himself. His “bff” pick will be crucial to how far he’ll go in the house.

    Ife

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    Pronounced “Iffy” and sure to give the tabloid writers a heart attack with joy for all the possibilities they can have with her in headlines. She could turn into a wreck the head though as her introduction hinted at a need to be singer. The fame hunger can make people seem desperate and sad sometimes so hopefully she can keep that in check and not wind everyone up with constant attention seeking tactics. “Look at me singing!” “sign me up to a contract!”.

    John James

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    Asshole. I’m calling it now. Loves himself and doesn’t care about anything else. He has already claimed he won’t clean up and that ALWAYS ends badly on this show. Will probably try and get off with 2 or 3 girls in the house after a few drinks and will no doubt get himself into endless trouble. I actually just want to punch his pouting face. ARGH!

    Josie

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    My tip to win it (yes it’s only the first night but you can usually call these things early). “Bubbly” country bumpkin and fattest girl in the house. She’s a shoe in. I would like to clarify that she’s not remotely fat but she seems to be the only person who isn’t a stick insect in the house so unfortunately she’s landed with that role this year. She’ll get lots of love for this fact alone from the largely gay/female public. They love the ones who are “just like us” so if she can act a bit dim and be nice to everyone she can’t lose this.

    Mario

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    Poor sod got landed with the mole task. Seems to be doing his job well though so far. I felt very sympathetic towards him as he seemed like a deer in headlights upon getting the news. This might be the sort of exposure he needed to do well in the competition though because he may have been a background player without this attention. He has no “wacky” angle to play up otherwise. Likeable fellow though.

    Nathan

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    Mancunian geeeeeeeeezer. Could rub people up the wrong way if he stays as “in your face” as he seemed at first. Another “joe soap” who could go far as long as he doesn’t rock the boat but I get the impression he could start a few arguments and might get a bit aggressive after the booze starts to flow. And yes, I’m being completely judgemental and stereotyping the guy. But it’s the first night.

    BeyonSORRY I mean Rachael

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    I’m gonna call her Beyonce for the rest of the show and I don’t care. Was happy to tell people she was a hairstylist on the night but seemed a bit embarrassed to talk about her work as a Beyonce impersonator. Prettiest in the house and she’ll fight to keep that title. Already seems to be getting derision from the females watching as our host Davina couldn’t stop making catty remarks about her. She could be the attention of the house for several reasons so I think we’re going to be talking about her for some time to come.

    Shabby

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    I hate her. For several primal reasons but mostly because she’s trying too hard. “LOOK AT ME, I’M CRA-RAAAAAAY-ZAY”. Ridiculous toff who squats in houses because she’s so arty. Honestly, there is bile building up in me just thinking about her. If we were in medieval times she’d probably run half the country. I would have put her head on a stick or died trying.

    Steve

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    Probably the bookies favourite and for good reason. Amputee from fighting for his country with 8 kids, you try and vote the guy off without looking like a heartless scumbag! Has an easy ride to the final unless he fucks it up by being a bully to someone. I felt a little uncomfortable though during his entrance. This year BB has a “carnival” sort of theme and when a guy with no legs is standing there, waving to a crowd, it was all too literal of a “freak show” to me. It was an awkward decision.

    Sunshine

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    Her real name is Yvette but she’s another toff (this year is full of upper/middle class kids) who thinks she is a free spirit. She thinks this mostly because she has had a free ride in life. These sort of folks invariably get voted off by the public at a first chance. We may not have the money in our family like you do “Sunshine” but we have phone credit and that means you’re fucked, darling.

    So there you have it. My opening thoughts on our players for this final game. I’ll be back after Friday night’s show. Stay tuned!

    Aaron Poole
    Follow Aaron on Twitter – @AaronFever

  • Contest Round-Up: 2010-06-09

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    Welcome to our weekly round-up of featured giveaways here at FRED. Every week, we’ll present a new clutch of DVDs, books, and other cool stuff you can take a shot at winning. All you have to do is click on the graphics below to be taken to their respective contest pages. And good luck!

    In conjunction with Universal Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of FLASH GORDON on Blu-Ray.

    In conjunction with Universal Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of DARKMAN on Blu-Ray.

    In conjunction with MGM Home Video, we’re giving away three (3) copies of SHOWGIRLS on Blu-Ray.

    In conjunction with Touchstone Home Video, we’re giving away two (2) copies of SHOWGIRLS on DVD.

    In conjunction with Playing For Change Records, we’re giving away a PLAYING FOR CHANGE LIVE Prize Pack.

  • FREDagator: 2010-06-08

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    Here’s a classic SNL clip parodying Song Of The South, featuring Tracy Morgan – “Uncle Jemima’s Pure Mash Liqour”…

    If you’ve ever been curious to see Disney’s long-vaulted Song of the South, here’s your chance…

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  • In Praise Of… SPILT MILK by Jellyfish

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    In Praise Of… “Spilt Milk” by Jellyfish

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    For my inaugural entry on this fine site (sophomore entry, if you count my introduction), I can think of no better example of something I love wholeheartedly (well, nearly) that seemed to pass most folks right by than the second album by the band Jellyfish, ‘Spilt Milk’. While most music aficionados will be clued into the band and their output, your average Joe has no idea who they are or what blissful melodies and sublime guitar pop they were capable of. To those people, I say, that’s just really sad. But fret not! I’m here to help, and point you to one of the best musical secrets of the past 20 years. If you follow my instructions and run out and get a copy after reading this column, you’ll thank me. And your heart and your ears will be thanking you for a long time to come.

    But before we get to my first love fest here on FRED, I should explain what I’m NOT trying to do within this essay. Jellyfish burned extra brightly but half as long, to misquote Mr. Tyrell, and I wish they’d at some point get it all together and make another record. (When I was a producer on VH1’s Bands Reunited I constantly campaigned to go after them, which always fell on deaf ears). But this won’t be about the history of the band, it’s politics, label frustrations, post band work or what cool people have dropped their name in interviews. All of that, I’m sure, you can get on dozens of other sites, far more informed than I am. No, this is just going to be about one man’s unabashed love for another group of men with musical talent.

    I’m not positive when it was when I first heard of Jellyfish, but I seem to recall seeing a video or two from their first album, Bellybutton, in 1992 when they were getting loads of airplay on MTV. The song “The King is Half Undressed” was a minor hit, but I didn’t take much notice of them, and never got the record. (I picked it up much later, it’s a fine album, but their follow up is miles ahead of it). A year later, their second effort Spilt Milk was released. I’m not sure what drew me to it, and I certainly hadn’t heard anything off of it. I seem to recall bringing the CD to the counter at a Sam Goody in Minneapolis, and the guy behind it giving me a “thumbs up”. “Great record”, he said. “Really? What’s it like?” I asked. “Well, it’s kind of like the album that Queen and The Beatles never made.” If he had said it had pictures of nude women on the CD face and the case folded out and could be made into a working robot I couldn’t have slapped my hard earned rupees down fast enough. But surely he was being a bit too enthusiastic, no? Beatle-esque was a term bandied about pretty frequently, but I’d never heard a band that sounded even remotely close to Queen. I wasn’t sure there was anyone with courage enough to try. And then I stuck that little shiny disc into the car’s CD player, and was floored from track one onwards.

    Now, admittedly, your enjoyment of this record may have a lot to do with how you feel about several bands: the previously mentioned Beatles and Queen, Breakfast in America era Supertramp, The Beach Boys, Wings and Badfinger. (I remember when Alex Ross and I first started our epic phone calls; it wasn’t long before the subject of music came up. By the sheer number and types of bands we were both into, it wasn’t long before one of us asked the other about Jellyfish and Spilt Milk. It was an “instant bond”, if you will). So, if you have a seething hatred of any of the above, you may want to stop reading. To be clear, you don’t have to LOVE any of those artists to dig this album, but I thought it fair to warn you anyway. As you can probably ascertain already, I’m a Beatles fanatic, and Queen are a top ten favorite. The rest I enjoy, but in dribs and drabs. So, now that we’ve gotten the pedigree of Jellyfish out of the way, what about the record?

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    The album starts off with a slow, quiet build. Fittingly, the first track is called “Hush”. It really takes it’s time, with what sounds like notes being played on a tinkly child’s piano, before the curtain comes back and beautiful, layered near acapela harmonies sing a sort of lullaby. It’s a little over two minutes, and ends with a “Good night” from the guys, and then the tinkly piano fades out. It’s a strange way to BEGIN a record, wishing us good night and singing us to sleep. But its soon apparent that nothing on this record is ordinary.

    Once “Hush” has drifted off to dreamland, guitars and drums come crashing in, signifying the start of track 2, “Joining a Fan Club”. “She turned the night light on and blew him a kiss/He stared back through his green Crayola eyes”, is the first line, and the first of the slightly tongue in cheek lyrical moments through out the record. The song seems to be sung from the perspective of a teenage girl infatuated with a pop star, but man, the tune is all over the place. It’s essentially three different songs, because it manages to get so many different tempos going, similar to McCartney’s “Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey” or Queen’s “Bicycle Race”. As it starts to wrap up, our teen seems to be getting over the crush, saying “Joining a fan club, it’s a big mistake/ I still get heartburn, when I think about all of the stamps I ate”. Things may not have gone well for the pop idol, as he crashes his car and we’re told to “say a prayer for a fallen star”. Great tune.

    Next up is “Sabrina, Paste and Plato”, and our tinkly little piano comes in again, backing our narrator who seems to be in grade school and telling us about his crush. Its another great song, pure pop, but bordering on sickly sweet. The best way to describe it, and I’m no expert on such things, is that it wouldn’t be out of place in a musical the way the story’s told to us. There’s even a chorus of children towards the end, singing what sounds a bit like a nursery rhyme.

    The next two tracks are my favorites on the record, and in my alternate reality they’d have both been chart toppers. First up is “New Mistake”, which might have been the first single, I don’t recall. It’s such pure pop beauty that every single time I hear it; it’s as fresh as the first listen. There are few tunes that can do that to me, songs that I literally never get sick of. The Beatles, sure, goes without saying. But even with the Fabs, there are times when I wish I could ‘un hear’ the stuff because I know it so well. I try and give myself breaks from them from time to time, so I can take it all in again. But every now and again, there are songs so perfect and timeless that I could hear ’em every day and still keep smiling, without necessarily being an obsessive of the rest of the artist’s output. “Baker Street” by Gerry Rafferty is one, ‘Roll to Me”, by Del Amirti comes to mind as well. And “New Mistake” is on that list.

    The song is basically about getting a girl pregnant, but it could be about landing on Jupiter for all I care. Drums kick the song off, acoustic and electric guitars bring in the melody, the bass line is magnificent. The verses give way to a chorus that sounds like something by Supertramp or any number of acts from the late 70s, with an added edge. It even has the same rhythm flourishes that are in the opening of “the Logical Song”. Without gushing too much more, it has to be heard to be appreciated, but if you fall in love with it, I promise it’ll deliver a smile every time.

    Track 5 is my other favorite, and my feelings for it are so close to “New Mistake” that I feel like I’m cheating on it. “Glutton of Sympathy” begins with faint sounds of crickets, leads to a quiet vocal and acoustic guitar. Andy Sturmer’s voice does soft and loud equally well on the album, and his work on this tune alone is sublime. When the chorus comes, the full band kicks in and there are more gorgeous Beatle-esque (you knew that word was coming at some point) harmonies, pleading with whoever is being sung to. The bridge has another favorite line, “Indecision won’t you ever make up your mind?” and gives us a nice mini guitar solo, more harmonies, then Sturmer’s pleading “Will you never cease to be/the Glutton of Sympathy?” before descending to a beautiful close. Those last two tracks could have been a double A side, for my money.

    “The Ghost at Number One” was another single off the record, and it’s a belter. Loud guitars, that damn tinkly piano again in the choruses, and enough pop harmony to make Brian Wilson blush. I think the song is about deceased artists making it to Number 1 on the charts, which is sort of really about the labels exploiting the artists for monetary gain. It’s got a bite and bile to it that’s missing from the record up to this point, and it’s heavier than what’s come before too. It’s a nice punch to the gut in the record, which is needed, and brings me to another great point. The album is laid out so near perfectly, track wise, that other bands could study it when planning their masterpieces.
    The “side one” closer is “Bye, Bye, Bye”, and suddenly we’re at a traditional Jewish wedding. The middle section is right out of “Fiddler on the Roof”. It’s a great way to close the first half of the album, and sounds absolutely nothing like anything that’s come before it. Again, it sounds most like it belongs in a Broadway show, but in a good way.

    The next track, and “side two” opener, is “All is Forgiven”. Guitar feedback signals the onslaught of pounding drums and a cacophony of notes; it’s a whirling tornado of a tune, the noisiest on the record. It took me years to get into it, but when I started to notice the payoff of the song following it, I began to appreciate it more. “Russian Hill” is absolutely gorgeous, the kind of song Nick Drake might have written in a much more minimalist way. The strings and harmonies get me every time.

    The rest of the record is wonderful, don’t get me wrong, but it doesn’t hold the appeal for me that those first nine songs do. I realize as I’m writing this that it will become apparent to anyone reading that I’m no record critic. But I guess that’s the point of what I’m trying to do with this column, just give my gut reactions to items from different mediums. You know, the old, “don’t know much about art but I know what I like” defense.

    Anyway, back to the record. If Spilt Milk has a flaw, an Achilles Heel, it’s one track keeping it from being a perfect record, it’s “He’s My Best Friend”. It’s an ode to the singer’s penis, and while the tune itself is as eminently hum-able as anything they ever did, the lyrics bring it into comedy album territory. Yes, that’s right, dear readers. Just a few short years after XTC gave us the classic “Pink Thing”, another great band decided to give us a love song to male genitalia. I give them a pass, though; every band has a “Revolution #9” in their arsenal.

    “Too Much, Too Little, Too Late” and “Brighter Day” are the album closers, and take us from a fond farewell to a bizarre parade/carnival, complete with horns, cymbals and a marching band drive. All in about 10 minutes. As the last notes fade out via strings and harp, we’re taken back to the quiet hush of where we came in, and the band float off into the distance. I’m not sure how long the end came after this record’s release, I only hope it was as amicable as those things can be. I like to think the door’s still open for these geniuses to work together again.

    If any of this has been of interest, and you eventually get the record and enjoy it, be sure to track down the clutch of B sides Jellyfish released as well. “Worthless Heart” is a beautiful demo, one can only imagine how it eventually would have been filled out, and “Family Tree” is the “shoulda-been-on-the-album” tune, the best song Free never recorded.

    I hope you’ve enjoyed this little voyage, and that maybe I’ve turned a few more people out there on to this great band. It’s probably one of the albums I give a spin at least a couple of times a month, whether it’s turned up loud in the car or on in the background at home whilst surfing the internet. Because of the miracle of the iPod age and the death of the album, there are artists I love (The Jam, The Kinks, Neil Finn, Radiohead), whose output I keep on shuffle, never minding so much that the songs are all over the place. I’m as guilty as anyone. But Jellyfish’s Spilt Milk is one of the rare ones that I need to hear from beginning to end. I’d love it if any of you out there can hip me to something similar in your lives. Let’s bring the album back to life together. Be seeing you…

    Jason Lenzi

  • FREDagator: 2010-06-05

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    Prepare to have your mind BLOWN by Mario’s Ladder…

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  • Soapbox: The Nerd Identity

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    The Nerd Identity

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    Tori Amos released a song in 1994 called “Cornflake Girl” in which she contends that womankind can be classed as two distinct groups. She identifies the two groups as “Cornflake Girls” and “Raisin Girls”. The idea comes from the distribution of flakes and raisins within certain breakfast cereals. In certain cereals as in the cereal bowl of life, the cornflakes are easier to find, they make up the largest portion of the cereal and also are kind of boring. The raisins are much rarer and some times you have to work harder to find them. But they also taste a lot better than the flakes and they make the cereal a hell of a lot more interesting. I feel that this is a pretty sound idea which can be applied to men as well as women, but even more than that, I feel that it could be even more appropriate to apply the “Raisins” and “Cornflakes” labels respectively to nerds and ordinary folk

    Now before we go any further, I should probably make it clear that I’m going to be using the term “nerd” pretty frequently in this column, but not exclusively. In fairness, its pretty interchangeable in the mind of some ordinary folk with other words and terms like “geek” or “dork” or “sad git”. But “nerd” is the word that I prefer to use and it’s a good catch-all term for people who stand outside the norms of society. Basically, the word denotes life’s raisins.

    On the journey in to Dublin one evening with a friend of mine, the conversation turned to a holiday I had been on in Florida a few weeks earlier and the comic convention that I attended. As I was excitedly telling him about the convention, the cosplay folk, the media guests and how much fun I had with my friends after the convention while we stayed up drinking most nights, I could see his eyes glaze over, pretty much the way mine would if he started to regale me with tales of his exploits playing hurling or rugby. But friends are allowed to bore each other with their stories, that’s what friends are for. I told him that it’s very hard not to have a good time when a group of nerds get together. At this juncture he said to me that I wasn’t really a nerd, that I was an ordinary guy in the body of a nerd.

    Now, in fairness I do look like a nerd. There’d be no denying that fact whether I wanted to or not. Being a thin guy who wears glasses is going to get you labelled a nerd even if you’ve never read a book or seen a sci fi movie. The fact that I was wearing a Browncoat t-shirt and wearing the One Ring at the time meant that I couldn’t really argue with that part of the statement. But to quote Marian Call, “Nerdery is more than wardrobe deep, and I’m a nerd down in my heart and that’s where nerdhood rocks”. Nerds come in all shapes, sizes and guises from the most beautiful woman in the world all the way to the stereotypical thin guy with glasses. But no matter how you present yourself to the world, one of the best parts of being a nerd is being comfortable in your own skin.

    And to be honest, it was a bit disheartening being called “ordinary”. By definition, most of the people on the planet are “ordinary” and just blend in to the background with nothing to differentiate them from their peers. Nerds have long accused of being cultish but I can’t think of any cult bigger or more insidious than the Cult of Being Ordinary.

    Nerdhood knows neither borders nor boundaries. It doesn’t discriminate on grounds of race or colour or belief or orientation. There’s no membership fee, there’s no cost and you don’t have to be rich. Although having disposable income does come in handy when you want to buy a Dawn statue or a Stargate replica mirror on impulse.

    Impulse buys aren’t an uncommon thing because nerds tend to get very excited about stuff, a love of merchandise is another hallmark of being a nerd. From Superman statues to framed original comic book pages to character t-shirts to Exogorth oven gloves, I’ll freely admit that we get excited about some very silly looking things at times. Hell, we get excited about generally anything that falls within our fandoms. It’s not common to find that level of enthusiasm amongst the regular folk. While I would never presume to speak for all nerds on this particular subject, I think it’s fair to say that a lot of nerds are Atheists. With Atheism comes a certainty that this life is finite and that this life is all you get, so you might as well squeeze every bit of enjoyment out of it, regardless of what it is that causes that joy. What other point could there possibly be but to squeeze every bit of joy and excitement out of your time on this earth regardless of what other people might think or how it might appear. And sometimes the simple pleasures are the best, whether it’s seeing a great movie on your own or reading a great comic book in a pub with a couple of pints or just hanging out with like minded people talking about anything and everything that comes to mind. Of course, that’s over and above the fact there’s just some very cool geeky merchandise out there that’s worth getting excited about. There’s a reason that it’s called “geeking out”.

    Most of my geeking out and my social nerdery revolves to a greater or lesser degree around the View Askew Message Board and the fine folk who post there. Almost six years ago to the day, I signed up the the Board and not too long after, I took my first trip overseas and met some of the Boardies face to face. We had been talking online for a while and I felt comfortable enough in going to England to meet them but there was no getting away from the fact that I was actually in a totally different country on my own and I was going to meet a crowd of people who I actually didn’t know in person and it could have gone disastrously badly. But I needn’t have worried about meeting them, within ten minutes of arriving in the designated pub in London it felt like I was with people that I’d known for a long time. But the fact that I wasn’t drinking Guinness did raise more than a few questions. I don’t get asked those questions now by anybody, which is due to the people of the View Askew Message Board.

    Since that day, every time that I’ve boarded a plane has been for the purpose of going to a View Askew event or to get to be in the company of the people who post on the Board. It’s a lot of trouble to go to just to see a group of people but it is worth the hassle to be in a group of people who are almost universally instantly accepting. When I think of my best days, they almost all involve nerd folk in some capacity or another, from dancing at the View Askew Prom to not meeting Richard Dean Anderson to randomly meeting Kevin Smith in Toys R Us in Times Square. Nerd folk just make life better.

    To stretch the food allegory a little bit further, most of the people in the world are like crisps (potato chips for the Americans), and can fit and be welcome anywhere that they go, they’re a little bit plain and bland but they’re pretty much suited to everyone’s taste. Some people, nerds in particular are more like tostadas with jalapenos salsa, they appeal only to a very selective crowd with broader tastes. The thing is though; the people of broader tastes are much better to hang with and will accept you in any shape, size or guise. When you’re in a group of people where everyone’s different, the differences are what unite you.

    The worst thing about having to fly to see my friends is the amount of time spent in airports or bus terminals, or sometimes even in bars, just waiting. But having nerdy interests comes in handy in that kind of situation. It’s the easiest thing in the world to spend time messing around online talking to your friends or reading a pile of comics or finishing a book or updating a blog. A lot of nerdy activities are solitary ones, and despite how amazing hanging out with nerds can be, being a nerd means being comfortable in your own company. We do what makes us happy, not what we think looks good to other people.

    The mainstream world has accepted us to a certain degree in recent years and you only have to look at shows like Chuck or The Big Bang Theory to see that geek chic is big business at the moment. But that acceptance isn’t universal and if nerdery goes too far outside what is considered normal society, we’ll still get scorned. The acceptance sometimes manifests like affectionate curiosity, and that will only go so far. Ordinary folk will still scoff at cosplayers who wear home-made costumes, deeming them weird and obsessive instead of passionate and creative, but it’s OK for someone who has never kicked a football or done a bit of exercise in his life to spend a fortune on a replica jersey of a football team and then claim affiliation to a club that’s located hundreds or thousands of miles away. But still, not a day goes by that you won’t see somebody wearing a comic book t-shirt on the street. Superheroes are fashionable due in no small part to the commercial success of movies like Batman and Spiderman. People seem more willing to accept a fantasy or science fiction idea if it’s presented to them on a screen; somehow it’s more acceptable to watch Batman than it is to read Batman. I have to admit that it is kind of gratifying to see superhero movies and Sci-Fi movies doing so well and being so popular with the general public, even if it’s just from a “see, I told you this was awesome” point of view.

    But fashions change and people change with them. Eventually nerds and faux-nerdery will be unstylish again, and when that happens… nothing will change for us. We’ll keep on doing our own thing. We managed just fine before the rest of the world sat up and took notice of us, we’ll manage just fine when the rest of the world moves on to the next big thing. If you’re doing what you do because it’s what makes you happy, you don’t have to defend it or seek approval. Indulging your passions is it’s own reward.

    In the same way that the cornflakes are totally oblivious of the raisins in their midst, we’ll go back to being unnoticed. But we’ll still be there, making life more interesting and making life better. Because that’s what raisins do.

    Simon Fitzgerald

  • Soapbox: Give Us The Girly Men (And Nobody Gets Hurt)

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    Give Us The Girly Men (And Nobody Gets Hurt)

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    It all began when a woman I know described Justin Bieber as “sexy”. Sure, I guess he’s a cute kid and all, but this just seemed wrong to me. How can a woman in her mid-thirties find a sixteen year old child “sexy”? I tried to let her comment slide, but found myself haunted by images of ‘The Biebs’ as he is lovingly referred to by his fans. How does a 16 year old boy from Ontario become an internationally worshipped and drooled over sex icon? Furthermore, why does it creep me out so much?

    Granted, many of his fans are teenage girls, but how could this skinny little teen appeal to women with the likes of George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Josh Holloway equally available to receive their affections from afar? I have a theory which may surprise you.

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    Girly Boy and Manly Man

    According to various scientific studies, being on the birth control pill may be the reason many sexually mature women swoon over the likes of Justin Bieber and everyone’s favorite sparkly vampire Robert Pattinson (Twi-moms, anyone?). Many of the studies to date do not fully tackle the issue of physical attraction based on appearance alone, but to me it seems the effects of the birth control pill on at least some women’s preferences towards different types of men are apparent.

    Scent has been identified as a crucial factor in terms of physical attraction, as subconsciously we are all affected by them. Through these imperceptible differences in scent, naturally ovulating women are naturally attracted to males with differing MHC genes than their own, to ensure offspring with healthy and functioning immune systems. This does not seem to apply to women on the birth control pill, and as many studies have shown they actually tend to be more attracted to men with more similar MHC genes.

    What does this mean? Generally, men with very differing MHC genes from women are rugged, manly, hairy, and strong. Men with MHC genes more similar to their female counterparts tend to be less hairy, less muscular and possess more effeminate features.

    Couples who share similar MHC genes are far more likely to be related, which some studies are linking to higher infertility rates. It also means that the laws of natural attraction no longer apply for many of us, men and women included. Ovulating women are known to give off subtle signals that attract men and signal fertility – women with regulated hormone levels do not.

    Nobody really knows why this makes them more drawn to more effeminate men, but some theories suggest that the hormones in birth control which mimic pregnancy also tend to subconsciously draw women to more nurturing companions. This brings in another issue entirely: deciding to go on or off the birth control pill could have potentially disastrous effects on a relationship. Think about it, if your girlfriend is attracted to you while she is on the pill, and then stops taking it, she will undergo a massive change in hormones which she will have no control over. This hormonal change could wreak havoc on an unsuspecting relationship in a number of ways – such as the woman being more likely to end the relationship or cheat as she is no longer attracted to the partner she is with on a purely physical/hormonal level.

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    One thing is for sure: A lot has changed since the 1960’s when the birth control was made widely available to women. Though this may be highly subjective, to me it appears that male sex icons are getting younger and for lack of a better word, girlier, while female sex icons have remained relatively the same age, with the same degree of femininity.

    It is impossible to argue that pre-1960’s heartthrobs such as Marlon Brando, Warren Beatty, Sean Connery, Clark Gable, Paul Newman and Clint Eastwood were not ultra-masculine. Can you say the same for the 1990’s or 2000’s? Fashions and styles change, but when pictured side by side it is clear that more modern definitions of sexual attractiveness have undergone many changes in the last fifty years. Even comparing Michael Keaton (who played Batman in 1989) to Christian Bale (who played Batman in 2005) you can see how these changes have affected what is sexy in 2010. Whether it has been a purely cultural shift or something more complex is up to you to decide.

    Mary Hoffman

  • Contest Round-Up: 2010-06-03

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    Welcome to our weekly round-up of featured giveaways here at FRED. Every week, we’ll present a new clutch of DVDs, books, and other cool stuff you can take a shot at winning. All you have to do is click on the graphics below to be taken to their respective contest pages. And good luck!

    In conjunction with Fox Home Video, we’re giving away three (3) sets of FAMILY GUY: VOLUME 8 and AMERICAN DAD: VOLUME 5 on DVD.

    In conjunction with BBC Home Video, we’re giving away two (2) copies of LIFE on both DVD and Blu-Ray.

    In conjunction with Adult Swim Home Video, we’re giving away three (3) copies of AQUA TEEN: VOLUME 7 on DVD.

    In conjunction with History Channel Home Video, we’re giving away two (2) copies of ICE ROAD TRUCKERS: SEASON 3 on Blu-Ray.

  • FREDagator: 2010-06-02

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    Time to toss those Canons and HPs and get yourself a LEGO printer…

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