Author: UncaScroogeMcD

DURHAM – Four days of cinema realness is around the corner. The Full Frame Documentary Film Festival runs from April 4-7 in delightful Durham, North Carolina. There’s a sense of calm to Full Frame that you rarely encounter at its peers. Why? You’re not running around like a maniac figuring out how to get to various cineplexes during a blizzard or stuck in traffic caused by Kim Kardashian’s entourage. The films are screened within one downtown complex that includes the Carolina Theatre, Durham Arts Council and the Durham Convention Center. Once you get to Full Frame, you don’t have to use GPS to know where you ought to be. All you need to be is there. Everything else will take care of itself.

What will I be covering on this year’s impressive schedule? Music oriented documentaries are dominating my schedule. Luckily Dave Grohl’s Sound City film isn’t playing here. This frees up 8 hours of time that won’t be spent watching his junior version of Ringo Starr’s All-Star playing to hype the film. The only live appearance worth catching is D.A. Pennebaker (Don’t Look Back) now that he’s an Lifetime Oscar honored filmmaker. I want to hear what it was like to hang out with Hal Needham.

Thursday kicks off with Citizen Koch taking viewers into the Wisconsin recall election. This was a case of voters realizing their politicians are nothing more than tools for billionaire brothers. They do their best to remind their legislators that they represent more than two paying customers. The Record Breaker is a little bit lighter with a biography on Ashrita Furman. He has 300 entries in the Guinness Book of World Records. He doesn’t hold the only record that counts: Worlds Fattest Twins on mopeds. The film plays with Battery Man about Biba Struja’s ability to receive high levels of electricity. He can withstand a million volts. I’m going to see if he can recharge my phone during the Q&A. Spinning Plates promises to be a fine night of watching other people eat. The movie looks at the restaurant experience. Gideon’s Army is the big opening night film. People get to witness what three public defenders experience with their massive caseload.

Friday is a big day for Alex Winter is coming! That’s right, Alex Winter directed Downloaded about the history and impact of Napster. We’re going to do our hardest to interview Alex so we can find out what happened to the Hammer in Freaked. The big question I’ll have is “what’s the statute of limitations when it comes downloading Clay Aiken songs?” I might need to start a bail fund on Kickstarter. Muscle Shoals also plays that night. This film gives the detail on the legendary studio that has made hits from Otis Redding, Bob Dylan and the Rolling Stones. What was the magic in the Alabama building?

Saturday has a triple feature of music in the schedule. AKA Doc Pomus is about the legendary songwriter who wrote for Ray Charles and Elvis. Bob Dylan worships his “A Teenager in Love” song. “Twenty Feet From Stardom” scoots the camera over so the focus is on the backup singers. What does it take to remain that voice behind the star? Pussy Riot – A Punk Prayer investigates the Russian girl band that became Putin’s worst nightmare when they put on an unannounced performance at a historic church. Which Way to the Front Line From Here? The Life and Time of Tim Hetherington is highly anticipated coverage of the combat photographer. During 2011, Hetherington’s Diary, a short film about his life ran at Full Frame. I had put in a request to interview him since he had also co-directed Restrepo. But I was told something had come up and he couldn’t make the festival. A few days later, news would come out that he had been killed in Libya. What made it strange for me was that he had died with Chris Hondros, a fellow photographer. Hondros worked with me at NC State’s Technician.

Sunday features all the prize winners getting a second screening. If you’re in the area, this is a fine day to drop on by the festival. “Meet Mr. Toilet” is the most enticing new title of the day. The short film is about a man doing his best to get toilets to those who need them. The festival wraps up with Big Star: Nothing Can Hurt Me. Do you not know about Big Star? How can you not know about Big Star? Do you have a clue about Alex Chilton? Have you ever heard that song about writing a letter and flying on a jet plane? “The Letter” by the Boxtops should be familiar. That’s Alex Chilton singing. Do you know the theme song to That ’70s Show? Well that’s Cheap Trick performing a Big Star song. What you need to know is that Big Star rates with the Velvet Underground as bands your parents (or grandparents) were fools for not buying their records. Big Star’s Sister Lovers remains the most brilliant dark record about relationships. The film is free so come on over at 8 p.m.

I’m excited knowing there’s four days to immerse in documentaries just around the bend. We live in an era where the documentary is far superior to the fictional film that has been reduced to comic book characters. For further information about Full Frame, visit http://www.fullframefest.org. You can get single tickets to many of the movies, but they did have a lot of sell outs last year so don’t dilly dally.

DOCS AT HOME

We Are Egypt: The Story Behind the Revolution is unique in that filmmaker Lillie Paquette arrived in the country a year before the revolution forced Hosni Mubarak out of office. Instead of people talking in the past tense about a major event, she gets figures speaking in the future tense. You can smell the uprising simmer as Arab Spring approaches. This wasn’t merely multitudes of Egyptians responding to a Twitter hashtag to come down to Tahrir Square. There was careful planning and alliances that were making this event become more than just a demonstration that could easily be put down by military action. Omar Sharif (Lawrence of Arabia) discusses his beliefs about what’s in the air. For those who merely tuned in to the network news coverage, We Are Egypt gives the necessary insight to capture what inspired things to finally reach a crest. There’s 82 minutes of bonus footage that includes more Omar Sharif (always a good thing) and time with Noam Chomsky.

Into The Cold takes us along on a nearly two month journey across the Arctic to the North Pole. This isn’t a simple journey on snowmobiles. This is a scary frosted landscape over an unforgiving ocean being tackled on foot with little boats to be used when necessary. Sebastian Copeland and Keith Heger take this adventure to celebrate the 100th anniversary of Peary’s expedition to the top of the world. The goal is to follow Peary’s path and not take the easy way of a quick helicopter trip. The duo train extensively for this challenge. When they arrive on location, they quickly learn that you can’t fully simulate how to survive in the sub-zero world in a storage freezer. Things get hairy fast. The ice is shifting as they make the trek. A cautious man might just call for the quick helicopter ride. Copeland and Keith Heger are obsessed with standing at the top of the Earth. They won’t give up until the GPS gives them the news. There’s a deceptive calm to the land as captured in their cameras. The weeks they spend walking towards that goal is astonishing in beauty and fear. How many times do you debate walking down the driveway to get the newspaper on a frosty morning? You should watch this on a large HDTV with the air conditioner blasting.

PLAY MYSTIE

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Vol. XXVI takes us back to a time when studio executives swore supermodels were going to be the next force in entertainment. Why shouldn’t the pages of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition come to life? This trend thankfully never became a genre thanks to efforts such as Alien in L.A. Kathy Ireland was part of the ’80s wave of super models that dominated high school lockers. She seemed infinitely talented while spread out on a beach. What couldn’t she do? Well her limitations started with acting in a major motion picture called Alien in L.A. Thankfully this little gem wasn’t tossed away in the vault. It proved to be a potent torture for Mike Nelson, Crow and Tom Servo on the Satellite of Love. They get hit in the face by Kathy’s wooden acting and we get to enjoy the pain. The Magic Sword is Bert I. Gordon’s fantasy film that allows him to indulge in his Hollywood magic. Basil Rathbone (Sherlock Holmes) is an evil wizard who kidnaps a princess. It’s up to Gary Lockwood (2001) to bring her back. This episode is best known for Crow’s love song to Estelle Winwood. Danger! Death Ray is an Italian James Bond rip-off. Starring as the 007.4 is Gordon Scott, a former Tarzan. He’s more of an ape than man in the role. Tom Servo is overjoyed to sign a sneaker deal, but there’s one issue. Mike gets a “This Is Your Life” segment. “The Mole People” is another Jack Arnold Universal Sci-Fi flick. The film is the perfect crossover since the Mole People start working in Deep 13. Mike and the Bots get to make fun of Hugh Beaumont in the film. Prepare yourself for lots of Leave It to Beaver references. There’s plenty of bonus features made for the boxset. “Bert I. Gordon: The Amazing Colossal Filmmaker” interviews Mr. BIG about his epic scifi flicks that became staples of MST3K. “Of Mushrooms and Madmen: Making the Mole People” gives the tales from the subterranean set. Alien From L.A. director Albert Pyun gets to give his tips on working with Kathy Ireland. Finally there’s a “Life After MST3K: Mike Nelson.” One of the things he did was befriend a young Ken Plume. This volume reminds us that Kathy Ireland was wise to not make Alien in SF.

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

Murdoch Mysteries: Season 5 is an enthralling cop procedural from Canada. It’s different from most C.S.I. clones since Detective William Murdoch (Yannick Bisson) has to investigate crime scenes in Victorian Toronto. “Murdoch of the Yukon” opens the season with him escaping his life. He’s quit being a cop and wants find a glory hole of gold. He also needs to forget his love for the now married Dr. Julie Ogden. But his past catches up to him in the form of a dead body. He can’t forget how to pick apart a crime scene. Mummy-mania hits town for “Evil Eye of Egypt.” Who got cursed? “Murdoch at the Opera” is the case of the wrong corpse. A young singer gets poisoned, but Murdoch senses the fatal drink was meant for the diva. Will they try to silence her for the encore? “Who Killed the Electric Carriage?” reminds us that Henry Ford wasn’t a fan of cars that didn’t work on oil. He might have killed a battery maker to keep his dream going. “A Stroll on the Wildside” brings a two-parter about a librarian’s kinky other life. “Murdoch Night in Canada” kills a hockey player. Gordie Howe is not a suspect since he hadn’t quite been born yet. “Twentieth Century Murdoch” brings a time machine to town. One of the users saves Murdoch from Santa with a Shotgun. Is this device for real? Murdoch is eager to see what life will be like in 1912. There’s quite a few bonus features covering production of the show including a polite “things that made me uncomfortable” segment. Murdoch Mysteries is the perfect murder show for people who enjoy a sense of history with their corpse play. This is worth getting on Blu-ray to enjoy the period costumes and sets.

Woochi: The Demon Slayer was a massive fantasy hit in South Korea. Turns out the way the world works is based off the Pipe of Prophecy. This instrument of destiny falls in the hands of wicked goblin creatures. After a fight, wizards recover the pipe and split it in half to keep it more secure. Things were secure until Woochi, a student, pulls a stunt that puts everything into jeopardy. He’s punished by being frozen for centuries. The goblins return and it’s decided to release Woochi from his cell. He must save the world from the forces of evil. However the battle isn’t easy since Woochi enjoys being in modern South Korea. He gets even more out of focus when he falls in love with a local girl that reminds him of a woman from his old days. Mankind is screwed. The goblin effects look really good in 1080p. There’s plenty of bonus features that dip into what it took to make the film.

Hemingway & Gellhorn reminds us all that if you want to see a quality film, forget driving down to the Cineplex. Turn on HBO. The movie is about the romance between writer Ernest Hemingway (Clive Owen) and journalist Martha Gelhorn (Nicole Kidman). The duo meet up at Sloppy Joe’s Bar in Key West. The sparks fly between the duo right from the start. He’s a man’s man and she’s a woman not afraid to wear pants. She’s not a reporter. She’s a war correspondent. There’s an issue to their romance since Mrs. Hemingway (Swingtown‘s Molly Parker) is still at home. Eventually this problem is worked out as the writers join up and split to the Spanish Civil War. Can their passion survive the battle against Franco and their explosive nature? The 155 minute film really gets into the romance. Director Philip Kaufman makes a bit of a comeback here after the meh fest that was Twisted. This puts him back on the track that let him make Henry & June and The Unbearable Lightness of Being. Even better is that the script features the work of Jerry Stahl (Café Flesh). I’m not quite sure why Lars Ulrich has more than a cameo in the film, but seeing how it was shot around San Francisco, he must have let them use his pool for the Atlantic ocean for the role. A bonus feature covers how they faked the world in the home of Rice-A-Roni. There’s also a commentary track featuring Kaufman and Splicing God Walter Murch. The Blu-ray brings out the rarely seen sizzle in Nicole Kidman’s face. The bell tolls so much richer in DTS-HD Master Audio.

DVD SHELF

Killing Them Softly brings back the grubby Brad Pitt of Fightclub. He’s a mob hitman who needs to clean up a mess in a small town. The movie is based on George V. Higgins’ novel Coogan’s Trade. This is not to be confused with the Clint Eastwood movie Coogan’s Bluff. Higgins is a literary legend for having written The Friends of Eddie Coyle. Killing Them Softly also enters the underworld. While the book was about Boston, the movie takes place in a neutral Louisiana (thanks tax credits). Ray Liotta (Goodfellas) runs a mob protected big stakes Poker game. Years before, he scammed himself by secretly having the game robbed. One of the boys in the area decides to use this info against Ray by staging his own robbery so it can be blamed on Ray. It’s up to Pitt to dish out justice for the mob. Brad brings in James Gandolfini (The Sopranos) to help with the hits. Trouble is that Pitt doesn’t think Ray robbed his game this time. The mob doesn’t have much patience for the truth. They need someone to suffer. This is an extremely art house mobster flick with a lot of long dialogue scenes that seem lifted from a stage production. Gandolfini goes on for a while talking about a hooker in Florida for what seems like 10 minutes. Nobody is in too much of rush in the movie. Director Andrew Dominik gets rather pensive to create a crime film that doesn’t try to juice you with fast cuts and over the top heist action. This is about the mundane figures that live as outlaws in America. When the violence happens, it’s cringe-worthy. There’s nothing glossy and fun in the beatings. I’m still waiting for Dominik to make a Brad Pitt film with the pacing of Chopper.

Howdy Kids! A Saturday Afternoon Western Roundup takes us back to those thrilling days when TV stations weren’t showing infomercials and year ancient ESPN specials. Saturday afternoons were a time when cowboy shows dominated in a chance to unit children with their father on the sofa. This three dvd collection is a fine sampler of those days of yesteryear. There’s 24 episodes of horse and six-shooter action that can easily be cracked open when you realize that you never liked soccer, but you don’t want to leave the sofa. Right off the bat you get The Lone Ranger. This is important viewing to remember what the character was really about before you get confused by the mystical Johnny Depp reboot. Also given a little time is the iconic The Rifleman, The Roy Rogers Show, Annie Oakley, The Adventures of Kit Carson, The Cisco Kid, Sergeant Preston of the Yukon, Buffalo Bill Jr. and Sky King. There’s also obscured shows such as The Range Rider, The Adventures of Rick O’Shay, Fury and The Adventures of Champion. What is really exciting is getting to see Red Ryder. He’s the character that inspired the Red Ryder B.B. Gun in A Christmas Story. He’s the reason Ralphie would have shot his eyes out. This is the perfect Father’s Day gift to give the old man so he doesn’t whine about why there’s nothing on TV every Saturday afternoon.

Boss: Season Two wraps up the time that Kelsey Grammer running Chicago. He’s a mayor with several secrets to keep buried around the city. The biggest one is that he’s got a major neurological issue that requires large amounts of medication. He is willing to do anything to keep this a secret from the press. The Mayor is not done cleaning up his office from those who will sell him out in order to further their political dreams. He’s ruthless to the next degree. His wife (Connie Nielsen) gets more into the act. The big thing is Kathleen Robertson’s Kitty O’Neill seems a bit spooked since she her old pal didn’t leave the job with a letter of recommendation. The big mystery is if Kitty will get scared out her clothes as much as Season One. While it’s a shame there will be no third season, the 10 episodes do a fine enough job bringing the show to a close.

Family Ties: The Sixth Season is the penultimate go around for the Keaton family. This is best known for being the time that Alex Keaton (Michael J. Fox) hooked up with Lauren Miller (Courtney Cox). They were students together who shouldn’t have clicked but did. Alex takes part of her experiment in “The Last of the Red Hot Psychologists.” “Dear Mallory” has her giving advice to Jane Adam (Hung). I’m willing to say that advice should only come from Nick (Scott Valentine). Did you know that Scott Valentine is cool if you call him Nick accidentally? It’s true. Don’t call him Eddie Money, though. “Dream Date” has Tina Yothers using one guy to get another guy jealous. How evil of her. “Invasion of the Psychologist Snatcher” has Campbell Scott wanting to hook back up with Courtney Cox. Alex is jealous. “Mr. Sister” turns Nick into a beloved janitor in Mallory’s sorority. He has to clean up spare feathers from their all night pillow fights. “The American Family” is a clip show under the guise of Courtney doing a paper on the Keaton’s past experiences. “Anniversary Waltz” turns the Keaton’s 20th anniversary into a nightmare. “The Blues Brother” has Alex announce a jazz performer is dead during his radio show. Turns out the guy is alive and wants to visit. “Read It and Weep” steps into the banned book controversy. Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Veep) is part of the fun. “Sign of the Times” gives us future star Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Dougie, the new Skippie. “Father, Can You Spare a Dime?” has Nick’s dad played by ’80s sex symbol Dan Hedaya. There’s so much macho heat between him and Scott Valentine that you might have to put ice on your TV screen. What’s amazing is they made 28 episodes during a time when Michael J. Fox was cranking out his movies. He was a very busy guy, but he had time for his little TV brother.

A Turtle Tale 2: Sammy’s Escape from Paradise starts off with an extreme trauma when the sea turtles get grabbed by humans. A few of the little ones escape to the sea. But what will happen to their relatives? Will they become turtle soup? Not to spoil the film, but it turns out that the large turtles are the new residents of the underwater nightclub at a resort. They’re living the mega-aquarium life. This doesn’t sound like too bad of life except there’s a few scary elements including getting to see the humans eat lobsters. Naturally the wild life wants to escape captivity so they can be properly eaten by big fish instead of feed by human hands. The CGI animated feature has the proper ability to scare kids and relieve their fears quickly. If the kids liked the first Turtle Tale, they’ll enjoy more shelled action.

Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries: Series One is as catchy as a Louis Armstrong solo. Phyrne Fisher(Essie Davis) is a jazz age wonder who loves the times. She’s up for a night of speakeasies, dancing and homicide. And like any responsible women living freely, she carries protection. Although in her case it’s a golden revolver with a pearl handle that just goes right with so many occasions. “Cocaine Blues” immediately points out that Miss Fisher is not a clone of Miss Marple. She’s Auntie Mame minus the kid. She solves a drug related killing while having a tryst with a Russian dancer. “Murder on the Ballarat Train” ruins her trip when she must defend a girl being attacked by a fellow passenger. Things get worse when a body turns up. “The Green Mill Murder” turns a night of dancing into a crime scene. Alchemy and poison dominates “Raisins and Almonds.” “Ruddy Gore” might introduce you to Gilbert and Sullivan’s Ruggigore. There’s a trip to Chinatown for a little opium den action. “Murder in Montparnasse” reveals Miss Fisher’s modeling days for an artist. The guy’s widow would like someone of the work back. Before things can get nasty, the widow vanishes. Will someone ended up framed? “Blood and Circuses” introduces her nemesis. Murdoch Foyle is the man who was accused of killer her sister. Can he be back to snuff her out too? “Queen of the Flowers” plucks a finishing school student from the water. “King Memses’ Curse” brings the classic Egyptian object gone bad story into Miss Fisher’s life. For those who love international mystery, make a date with Miss Fisher.

The Borgias: The Second Season reminds us all about how much fun Popes used to be. When is the last time a Pope had to worry about his semi-wife, mistresses, sons and daughter while running the Vatican? Well that’s what was going on during Pope Alexander VI’s reign. The historical series touches about all the back biting and diabolical plotting that took place in the Roman Catholic Church. This is all the good stuff that the nuns liked to skip over during religion classes at Our Lady of Eternal Sneers. The Borgia family is completely in control at the start of this season. Dad (Dead Ringers‘ Jeremy Irons) is fighting back amongst the haters who don’t think a Spaniard can speak for God. They don’t like his nepotism since one son belongs in the College of Cardinals while the other leads the Papal army. His daughter Lucrezia is sweet, charming and deadly. Strangely enough, like Pope Francis. Pope Alexander VI starts the season devoted to helping the poor. He had no idea of the poverty on the streets of Rome. Don’t worry that somehow this season turns into a weepy charity infomercial. There’s a lot of evil plotting to oust Alexander via the French. There’s killing of baby daddies. There’s the Pope picking up women who like to dress like men. It’s all good and tawdry in a historical context for 10 episodes. The bonus features include “World of the Borgias,” interviews and behind the scenes footage. There also include episodes of House of Lie$ and Californication.

House Arrest busts The Game and Stacey Dash (Clueless‘ Dionne) in a romantic comedy with an ankle bracelet. The duo are a dating couple when the cops come down on them. Even though Stacey swears she’s innocent, the judge won’t dismiss her charges. She gets placed on house arrest and forced out of her good life. She has to return to her mama’s house in the not so nice part of town. Can she handle this reality slap? She learns a hard truth when she attempts to bling out her ankle monitor. The Game seems ready to play a tougher version of Ice Cube with his thug love for Stacey. Can these two shape up, beat the charges and let love allow them to live a clean life.

CHICAGO – We are on the cusp of a golden age of nostalgia TV. The previous era of greatness was in the late ’70s when indie UHF stations competed against their network VHF rivals. The plucky UHFers attracted a devoted audience with prime rerun series, non-Hollywood blockbuster movies and local sports programming. They made after school hours special by running Batman and Ultraman instead of soap operas and talkshows. For those old enough, there is a nostalgia to these stations. Boston’s WLVI-56 and WSBK-38 were my childhood favorites. What ended this era could be summed up in three hideous events: ownership by VHF stations, infomercials and mini-networks. My last visit to Boston was rather sad when I turned to those two stations only to witness how they’d been castrated by lazy programming directors.

So where’s the silver lining at the funeral of the airwaves? When TV went from analog to digital, station had the ability to put out multiple signals along with their high definition signal. This meant that one station could offer its own mini-cable network. The stations set up signals that would broadcast the weather 24 hours including live Doppler radar in the early days. They created news network channel by rerunning their 6 o’clock news around the clock. CBS stations used it to run all the basketball game feeds during the opening of March Madness. You might not know about this if you have Direct TV or Dish since they don’t’ like carrying substations as part of your local content. But stations needed more entertaining programming to lure the people to the substation universe. They smart ones went back to the golden visions of UHF. Retro Television Network became the pioneer when spread across the country. Now there’s three other channels seriously aiming for the nostalgia crowd by piggybacking on network signals.

Retro Television Network immediately filled the gap left by poor programming at TVLand. When RTV made its initial impact mixed Paramount and Universal’s vaults with plenty of shows that weren’t getting love on DVD such as Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous and That’s Incredible. They even brought back the glory of Love American Style. Small children were exposed to Cannon. Because of various issues, the channel lost Paramount’s vault. They do provide early Bill Cosby action with I Spy and The Bill Cosby Show from when he was a gym teacher. They even have Movin’ On with Claude Akins (Sheriff Lobo). The channel still has two hosted movie shows. Wolfman Mac’s Chiller and Off Beat Cinema. Their film selection is the public domain usual suspects that once clogged the $1 DVD bins at Dollar Tree.

THIS-TV was the next substation to arrive on my dial. The channel’s big get is access to MGM’s film vault. This should be an amazing resource since it includes the American International Pictures releases. This was America’s prime indie studio from the 50s to the start of the ’80s. They put out the Beach Party flicks, the Vincent Price – Roger Corman – Edgar Allen Poe shockers, the best of Blaction and biker flicks. Pretty much all the stuff you’ve seen on the video shelf noted as Midnite Movie Double Features. These were the films that dominated UHF stations in the ’70s. While THIS shows the films, they haven’t made a concerted effort to package the titles properly. What’s wrong with scheduling certain genres for certain nights? Why not a week of Pam Grier movies at midnight? THIS isn’t all movies since MGM’s vault also contains Sea Hunt, Green Acres and Mister Ed. It’s just a shame they lack the ability to create the genre slots. I’m also annoyed that they didn’t work out a deal with Elvira to host the cult AIP gems instead of only hosting public domain titles. THIS at this moment is a lost opportunity.

Antenna-TV has a mix of old TV shows and movies thanks to their deal with Sony. They’re the place for Dennis the Menace, Father Knows Best, Sanford and Son and Hazel. Sally Fields gets a double shot with Gidget and The Flying Nun. The big issue I have with them is their doubling up of the sitcoms. Why must they run two Leave It to Beavers at 11 p.m. They used to run Soap. Why not use that time slot for a Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman and Fernwood Tonight? I’m upset that they yanked off Three’s Company since they also worked into the mix The Ropers and Three’s A Crowd. The Ropers had the greatest theme song in the history of annoying theme songs. But on the weekends they run S.W.A.T. and The Monkees. They need to dip into the Sony vault to get Square Pegs for the weekends. They did smartly run Dean Martin’s Matt Helm movies as double features.

COZI-TV was just launched by Comcast-Universal-NBC-Cabletown. They are like Antenna except they also feature a few “lifestyle show” to appeal to folks who keep the house. I don’t get the channel since it’s currently on a handful of stations at this point. Their schedule doesn’t look as cool as it should be. Sure they have Charlie’s Angels, The Bionic Woman and The Six Million Dollar Man, but they mini-marathon them each night. You can get the DVDs for those shows rather cheap at this point if you just want a night of Farrah, Lindsay and Lee minus commercials for scootarounds and oxygen. They really need to dip into the failed shows in the Universal vault. Where is Manimal? Instead of Brilliant Yet Canceled that ran on Trio, Cozi could host a “What Were They Thinking” series. Super Train? Cop Rock? Emeril? My major reservation is that NBC-Universal has done such a pathetic job over the years with SyFy, Cloo and Chiller. The channels start out looking nice with proper programming. After a while, they schedule devolves into all day marathons of a single show or lame monster flicks.

ME-TV is currently the gold standard of sub-stations. This is what you thought Nick at Nite and TVLand were going to be. Their programming is goes from the classic warhorses of I Love Lucy and Dick Van Dyke Show to the nearly forgotten of Mr. Lucky. Their mornings have Dobie Gillis, The Beverly Hillbillies, Petticoat Junction and Donna Reed. The evenings bring The Odd Couple, Mary Tyler Moore and Bob Newhart. Overnight you can get more Combat and Twelve O’Clock High. Saturdays are classic cult with Batman, Lost In Space, Star Trek, Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea and Svengoolie. Unlike other horror hosts in the substation universe, Svengoolie has the classic Universal Monsters in his rotation. He recently had a heart issue so that means I’ll be waiting longer for the premiere of Killdozer on the show. The only drawback to the channel is sometimes they run digitally sped up tapes. This gets annoying when everyone talks like chipmunks and moves like Keystone Kops. But it did make me run out and buy the DVD set of Honey West to watch Anne Francis at the proper tone.

If you can only bend your HD antenna to receive one of the substations, ME-TV is the way to point. Currently there’s no real way to measure the audience so this is the time when programmers can have fun with the slots. Attract the cultists to the channel. Dig into the vaults to find shows that need a fresh loyal following and not rely completely on the warhorses. One element I haven’t seen is a substation programming heavily with British TV shows. The older titles that BBCAmerica would rather ignore in their race to become SyFy Jr. Enough Dr. Who. Bring on Doctor In the House. Why not feature the British shows that were turned into American hit shows?
Thanks to the digital substations, I can almost contemplate cutting the cable.

A MUSIC MOMENT

I’m getting sick of “modern” movies that have to use hits from the ’80s for their trailer soundtrack. There’s enough vibrate new tunes being made by bands. Did all the cool movies of the ’70s have to resort to Benny Goodman to tease in a crowd? Of course not. Scanners can easily be a great band for the makers of Francis Ha to use instead of Bowie’s “Modern Love” from 1983. The band’s music has been used on American TV shows so they’re not that alien to music supervisors. The Camden band’s Mexico EP is now out. Their upcoming album Love Is Symmetry is due out later this year. Here’s “Control.”

VINEGAR SYNDROME

Drive-In Collection: Expectations & Confessions is a double feature that might have played a cinderblock X-rated theater on the fringe of your city back in 1977. The two adult features were directed by Anthony Spinelli, the man behind Suckula and Talk Dirty to Me. Both movies deal with women having Belle Du Jour interludes. They risk their dull straight lives for carnal pleasures. Expectations has Delania Raffino play a bored housewife looking for a little excitement. She swaps identities with Chris Cassidy. Being a swinging girl suits her as Joey Silvera arrives in time to let her know Chris wasn’t a prude. She’s down to play in her new identity. She eventually hooks up with Desiree West. Chris gets a bit more fun when she hooks up with someone extremely close to Delania. The movie makes you wonder if Delania has a split personality in this flesh fantasy. Confessions lets Kristine Heller play the bored married wife. She releases her libido when she hooks up with a biker. This leads to adventures as a hooker and Domme. This is the kind of movie that couldn’t be made now simply from the scene of her between posters of Jane Fonda and Marlon Brando. Cindy Johnson (real name Kristine Heller) has acting chops when she’s not handling the physical duties of the role. The trailer for the collection might be a little bit too naughty to watch at the office. You might want to wait until you’re at Great Aunt Anna’s house to press play. This is a well-balanced double feature since the movies share a common theme without looking like complete clones.

Sadly the Drive-In Collection: Savage Water & Death By Invitation has been delayed. I really enjoyed this double feature especially Savage Water‘s fatal river rafting trip out West. This might be for the best since Savage Water‘s director Paul Kener has the camera negative.
Next on their schedule is a Blu-ray of The Massage Parlor Murders. This one takes us back to when Times Square was a seedy wonderland without Donkey Sauce. There’s double dose of extreme vintage fun with Anatomy of a Psycho & The Lonely Sex from 1961 & 1959. The Suckers & The Love Garden bring us back to the early ’70s with backwoods naughtiness. All three sets are due out on April 9. This spring, let the sleaze blossom.

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

Veep: The Complete First Season is Julia Louise-Dreyfus’ best attempt to break the Seinfeld curse by going over to HBO. Her New Adventures of Old Christine finished a dozen episodes short of the sweet 100. She knows that Larry David is the only member of the gang to have scored a major hit outside of Monk’s Diner with Curb Your Enthusiasm. Thus she’s found the right vehicle for herself on HBO’s Veep. She’s a former senator who had a good run for president, but came up short. Her primary opponent reluctantly picked her to be vice president on the ticket and it’s turning into a fate worse than filibuster. Basically she’s able to tap into her Elaine persona as the woman who thinks she’s in control when everything is really a disaster. She is in a constant state of compromise and fine print in her quest to do something with her day outside of waiting for world leader funerals. She has a crack staff that spends most of their time putting out fires started by the Veep on TV. She’s got just a touch of Joe Biden on her tongue. The biggest casting thrill is Anna Chlumsky returning as the Chief of Staff. The star of My Girl gets to grow up. Matt Walsh is great as her communications director who created a fake dog so he can have an excuse to not work around the clock. There are only 8 episodes for the first season, but the political comedy is so rich, it feels like 24 episodes. The big running joke is her wanting to set up a Clean Jobs Commission, but big oil wants a fat seat at the table. Her bad ratings make her a hard sell to fellow party members that are frightened to appear in public with her. She’s ultimately Vice President of the Rodney Dangerfield Fan Club. The boxset includes the episodes on Blu-ray, DVD and digital copies. You can watch episodes while stuck in Beltway traffic. The bonus features include several making of docs and plenty of deleted scenes. They illustrate the timing of a poorly placed blunder in the cable news era. Twelve audio commentaries are provided to explore every aspect of the show. This is the best thing Julia Louis -Dreyfus has done since she went to prison on Seinfeld. The second season starts April 14 on HBO.

Futureworld takes me back to a time when the CBS Late Movie used to have the sequel to Westworld in heavy rotation. The movie has Delos, the futuristic pleasure resort rebooted. The owners swear they fixed all the bugs that turned the robots into killing machines. They even shut down the Westworld facility so that pesky robo-cowboy (Yul Brynner) won’t terrorize people. They have brought back the robotic hookers. In order to hype the safer place, Delos is entertaining a TV network news official (Blythe Danner) to give them a puff piece. What they don’t count is Peter Fonda tagging along. He’s one of those pesky newspaper reporters that must get the truth out to the masses. But the operators of Delos has a great way to avoid any negative publicity. They’re making robots of their guests to spread the good news. Can Peter Fonda escape? And why is his only hope Stuart Margolin (Angel on The Rockford Files)? This is still exciting science fiction from that time just before Star Wars. The 1080p image really brings out the creepy nature of Yul when he’s in full robo-cowboy mode. There’s also the original trailer, radio spots and still photos.

DVD SHELF

West Point: The Television Series is the TV show that made it possible for me to exist. My dad watched the series in 1957. The tales of cadets at the Military Academy made him focus on getting into the college. If he hadn’t gone to West Point, he wouldn’t have met my mother and been able to woo her with his discipline, manners and attitude. He would have just been a troublemaker roaming around Dedham until he became a part of The Friends of Eddie Coyle.. I owe my very existence to a TV show. West Point remains an entertaining anthology series after all these years. This isn’t about the same batch of cadets going from Plebe to Officers. There are a few actors that come back for a few episodes, but this is not Glee at West Point. The casting directors did an amazing job of finding a future generation of stars to play a future generation of officers. Right off the bat “The Mystery of Cadet Layton” has Martin Milner (Adam-12) getting on a plebe’s case. “The Operator and the Martinet” gets Chuck Connors (The Rifleman) up against Robert Vaughn (The Man From U.N.C.L.E.). “His Brother’s Fist” punches Leonard Nimoy (Star Trek). Even though West Point was a men only college at this time, there are actresses on the show. Before she was stuffed in a bottle, Barbara Eden (I Dream of Jeannie) pops up in “Decision.” “Heat of Anger” burns with Henry Silva (Ocean’s 11). “White Fury” blazes a really young Clint Eastwood (Fist Full of Dollars). “Ambush” tops it with Steve McQueen (Bullit). Dad let me know that neither Clint or Steve was around when he arrived at the Academy. “Manhunt” loses a cadet in the woods after he gets snake bit. His only hope is James Best (Dukes of Hazzard) tracking him down. The show has plenty of scenes shot at West Point so graduates of the Academy will get glimpses of their old haunts. This is a show that deserves to be rediscovered and not just because of the impact it had on my father’s life.

MadTV: The Complete Second Season was a bit of a departure for its 14 season run since it was the only one that featured guest hosts for all the episodes. This additional star power helped publicize the show as it chipped away viewers from Saturday Night Live. While the show would continue to have guest appearances, this was the only one where the guest hosts were worked into a majority of the sketches. They have a strange mix of hosts ranging from Ice-T, Joe Rogen, French Stewart, Neve Campbell to Pauly Shore and David Faustino. They also pay tribute to the greatness by nabbing Rodney Dangerfield. The show seems to get further away from Mad Magazine this season even though they still have a few Spy vs. Spy short cartoons. Cast member Nicole Sullivan (King of Queens) was coming into her own with her various characters including the Vancome Lady. This was the last season for Orlando Jones when he seemed ready to be the Chevy Chase of MadTV. What the hell happened to Orlando Jones? The guy was great this season. Maybe he should get a gig on Community? The most fascinating moment off camera moment of the season is when Artie Lange vanished from the show after the Andrea Martin episode. You might want to sit down before reading this, but Artie was fired because he had a substance abuse problem. Who could have imagined that happening? Artie would make a comeback as Howard Stern’s new Jackie until…he vanished because of substance abuse problems. MadTV: The Complete Second Season has great gross moments like when they present a maxipad that can last all year. The sketches have fun with the personalities of the mid-90s and the fun wraps up with LL Cool J.

Father Dowling Mysteries: The Final Season sadly brings to an end Tom Bosley’s crime fighting days. The mystery solving priest wasn’t blessed. The show had to deal with a strike, a network change and finally a timeslot about The Simpsons & The Cosby Show. Why had God punished Father Dowling so harshly? Sadly enough the third season was the only full season for the show. I swore this show lasted as long as Matlock. Dowling (Happy Days‘s Tom Bosley) is a priest who likes to meddle in area mysteries with Sister Sam (Tracy Nelson). The divine duo can run circles around the cops because they answer to a higher authority. There’s plenty of guests including David McCullum (NCIS) as part of a royal switch involving a Sister Sam look alike marked for death in “The Royal Mystery.” John Vernon (Animal House) gets in Nunicide during “The Undercover Nun Mystery.” “The Christmas Mystery” makes Santa look like a killer. This should be featured in the War on Christmas. A serial killer comes after Dowling in “The Priest Killer Mystery.” David Hemming (Barbarella) crops up in “The Mummy’s Curse Mystery.” Overall the 22 episodes are fine for the mature mysteries category. Now that all the episodes are on DVD, you can watch them with Matlock. It’s such a shame that Father Dowling was martyred by Bill Cosby and Bart Simpson.

Secret Millionaires Club: Volume 1 stars Warren Buffett hanging out with a bunch of kids hoping to strike it rich. The Hub series really does have Buffett reading his character’s lines. He dispenses common sense advice in the world of small fries wanting to be Big Moguls. He reminds the kids that you have to work to make things work. Warren also brings his cool friends along to give pep talks to the kids who don’t want to hear from an elderly billionaire. “Be Cool to Your School” brings Jay-Z to the fold. He reminds the kids to follow their dreams. “Elena’s Shaqtastic Adventure” surprisingly features Shaq. I had a dream that he wasn’t going to be a dud when he signed with the Celtics. How’d that work out? “Avast Ye Downloads” warns the kids about illegally downloading music. Nick Cannon teaches that lesson. Who knew these people hung with Warren? So far these are the only 6 episodes that have been released. It’s a fine educational economic cartoon. Although Warren Buffett looks like he’s that old man that used to wear a mask and scare people until those meddling kids and their dog put an end to his hijinks. There’s also 5 webisode cartoons with shorter lesson for the kids.

The High Fructose Adventures of Annoying Orange: Escape From the Kitchen should not be watched if you have a slightest of headaches. They aren’t lying in the title. The Annoying Orange is really annoying. Imagine if Ernest and Fred were ground into pulp and injected inside citrus fruit. They’d be Annoying Orange. The Cartoon Network series is about the Orange, his fruit friends, a loud marshmallow and Nerville (Toby Turner) and their life at the fruit cart. They mostly battle evil vegetables. The DVD contains the first 10 episodes. “Dr. Strange Plum” pays tribute to Clue. They even have the smarts to hire Tim Curry (Rocky Horror Picture Show). “The Lords of Fruitbush” spoofs The Warriors which is always a good time. Parents who have sensitive ears might want to push play and immediately flee the TV room. He is truly the most annoying character in the history of the world. Naturally little kids will love him.

Quincy, M.E.: Season Five brings us more of America’s favorite medical examiner. Quincy: M.E. was a major hit by season five. Quincy (Jack Klugman) made viewers fascinated by his ability to break down a crime within the body of a victim. His only major help was Sam (Robert Ito). “No Way to Treat a Flower” kills victims with marijuana. But instead of a Reefer Madness situation, the killer dope comes from the fertilizer. “Dead Last” is a racing death that involves Memphis Mafia member Red West. “By the Death of a Child” makes Robert Loggia a Prime Minister. “Never a Child” exposes the lurid world of teen hookers. “Hot Ice” involves people smuggling diamonds inside pace makers. Edward Grover gets to play the customs agent wanting to shut down the ring. Grover returns in “Diplomatic Immunity. “Sweet Land of Liberty” turns Sam’s buddy into a cop killer. Why? Could have been exposed to LSD in a government test? “Murder by S.O.P.” puts Quincy in jail. But he’s put to work when a fire breaks out in the cells. A gymnast pumping performance enhancing drugs drops dead in “The Winning Edge.” “Deadly Arena” kills people with food at a sporting event. This was another great season for Quincy poking dead bodies to get the truth.

Duke is one of Steven Weber’s most challenging roles. Weber plays a marine sergeant who gets messed up on his final tour of Iraq. He can no longer deal with his wife and kids like he did before. He decides the best thing he can do for them is to hit the road with his dog Duke. But his time on the road doesn’t go well either. Within a few years, he’s still a drifter. He gives the aging dog to a vet clinic, but will things only get worse for him without his best friend. Can he reconnect with his family? This Hallmark movie isn’t a sappy greeting card. Weber uses every tool in his acting kit to make you forget he was that guy on Wings.

Shaman, Healer, Sage focuses on Alberto Villoldo, Ph.D. who left the world of modern medical science to explore the world of shamans in the Inka and Q’ero world. The documentary reflects his book of the same name. He speaks of energy medicine. The filmmakers follow him around parts of South America as he makes contact with those that heal to prevent illness. He speaks of being influenced by his nanny into the mystic arts. The film isn’t like the normal wall to wall talking heads documentary. There’s plenty of time to illustrate rituals and recreate moments from Villoldo’s life. Your eyes are allowed to breathe in the elements that attract Villoldo. The nearly hour long bonus feature Energetic Interventions is more of Villoldo’s work. He guides viewers through Chakras, the Illumination Process, Soul Retrieval and Symbolic Death Rite. Villoldo has that perfect calm voice for guiding and explaining these concepts to viewers.

Motorway mixes cops and fast cars in Hong Kong. A group of hot driving cops are assigned to a division bent on busting the drag racing underworld. Their focus is to locate a notorious driver who has never been caught. Can he resist the speed bumps? Director Soi Cheang has his stunt team race over what seems like every strip of pavement in Hong Kong in daring chase scenes. This is the kind of speed porn you’d get on Top Gear with the biggest stars being the cars. Actors Anthony Wong and Shawn Yue do their best, but the cars run the show. This is like a John Woo flick that’s more into RPMs than bullets. Motorway is much better than that last Fast and Furious flick.

The Real Vikings Collection brings together three of the Norseman documentaries that ran on The History Channel. “Foot Soldiers: The Vikings” lets host Richard Karn (Family Feud and Home Improvement expose the fact that Vikings never wore horns on their helmet. The pretty much just had metal helmets sans cow horns. Karn makes a good narrator for a non-dramatic documentary. “The Vikings: Lost Worlds” feels like the normal History Channel documentary setting an ominous tone with the rapid soundtrack. The highlight is digitally recreating how Vikings truly lived in their heyday. “Viking Terror” calls the Vikings “the Hell’s Angels of the Middle Ages.” Host Terry Schappert is a Green Beret bent on understanding the military power of the Vikings. He wants to experience the way the Vikings fought. He gets fully equipped for battle like a Norseman. This episode is from Schappert’s Warriors series from 2009. The three specials give plenty of background for fans of the History Channel’s new series Vikings.

MLB Superstars: Impact Players reminds us that opening day of baseball is just around the corner. Did the San Francisco Giants really win the World Series again? The special reminds us that there is a changing of the guard happening as Chipper Jones, Derek Jeter and David Ortiz are no longer the youngsters. Here’s the 25 players under 30 that will be the superstars for the next decade. Who is on the list? Quite a few are easy picks like Prince Fielder, Stephen Strasburg, Matt Kemp and Bryce Harper. The editors make sure that these picks are given massive highlight packages to defend the choice. The bonus features include a special on Walk-Off wins and Phenom Firsts. The Giant’s Matt Cain’s perfect game gets reduced down to the highlights as he shut down the Houston Astros. Colorado Rockies’ Troy Tulowitzki’s hits for the cycle against the Cubs gets remembered. Here’s some clips of Mike Trout’s amazing rookie season.

Curandero: Dawn of the Demon is lovingly brought to you by Robert Rodriguez (Grindhouse). Director Eduardo Rodriguez is not a relative. Although after watching the film, he seems more like Eli Roth’s cousin. A satanic drug cult gets busted in Mexico City, but they’re not backing down. They’re laying down the curses. The local police chief hires Carlos Gallardo to perform a purification ritual at the jail. But does he have enough mojo to clean up the curses? The Satanic cultists refuse to lose. It’s kinda of like The Excorcist meets Assault on Precinct 13. The demon effects and the cinematography make this look very convincing as a cops versus demons flick. The movie has a Spanish soundtrack, but the English dub sounds great so you don’t have to read subtitles unless you’re a stickler.

Cyberstalker reflects the real fear of a daughter being pursued by a creep online. Think of all the pictures, information and secrets that a kid can put out on Facebook, Youtube, Twitter and Instagram? Mischa Barton (The O.C.) is a girl who has a creep after her. But this isn’t just the normal cyberstalker who enjoys pursuing over a 56K modem. The opening is stunning as the stalker goes beyond the internet and the phone. He will not be denied Mischa. I would have guessed that Perez Hilton would be the true suspect seeing how his old website used to rag hard on Mischa after she left The O.C.. This is the perfect TV movie as they give us the new fear. This movie is so great. It’s like Tori Spelling TV movie great. Plus after watching Cyberstalker, I now abuse the phrase, “Flintstone Files.” You might not want to watch this film online since you might be watching with undetectable company.