FRED Entertainment

Author: UncaScroogeMcD

  • Spook’d #101: Extreme Lair Makeover – Move That Bus

    by Jeffery Stevenson and Seth Damoose with colors by Anthony Lee

    Larger sized comic | ARCHIVES | OLDER ARCHIVES

    Spook'd #101: Move That Bus

    To see Spook’d host Alastor’s blogging silliness and more fun Spook’d stuff,visit the Spook’d Web site!

    Check out the preview to…

    E-MAIL WRITER | ABOUT JEFF | ABOUT SETH | SPOOK’D BLOG | SPOOK’D FORUM | ARCHIVES | OLDER ARCHIVES

    Disclaimer: All material in Spook’d is fictitious and intended solely for the purpose of entertainment. Names are fabricated and any similarity to real people or places is purely coincidental except in those cases where public figures are being satirized.

  • Nocturnal Admissions: Book Review, A Good Year: A Portrait of the Film

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    I was surprised the other day to receive a copy of A Good Year: A Portrait of the Film (Newmarket Press, 304 pages, $13.95, ISBN 0.307.27775.5), not because it is unusual to receive books in the mail, but because I didn’t know that there was a movie called A Good Year coming out.

    The film turns out to be Ridley Scott’s adaptation of a novel by Provencal specialist Peter Mayle. The book doesn’t contain the script, but rather what is advertised as excerpts from the script, which in fact turn out to be really no more than pull quotes from the movie.

    Though I haven’t seen A Good Year I decided to review the book anyway. There is a simple reason for that. I wanted to see if a seemingly lighthearted Scott film would pull my heart strings.

    I admit it. I’m a sap. There is something about love stories that can really get to me. There are several occasions where I have actually gotten weepy eyed over romantic comedies, and not even the movie version, but just the script. One was Nothing Hill, which I read in paperback book form before seeing the film. Another was the first version of what became The Wedding Planer, but was called Mary Me Jane when I read it. I actually got tears in my eyes as I read the thing. Unfortunately, that version was utterly changed, though the resultant film was a huge hit. Nevertheless, consequently I have determined that I am the perfect market research tool for romances. If even the written version can unleash the waterworks, there must be something in it.

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    So I placed A Good Year: Portrait of the Film, with an introduction by Scott and Mayle, on the desk before me and studied it. The cover shows an image of star Russell Crowe, his face covered in dappled golden light, out of focus foliage behind him. Crowe is smiling, and looking down, and his white shirt suggests casualness. So we have something new, or at least newish, here – a happy Crowe rather than the brooding, brutal, brutish Crowe of tabloid stories and previous movies. The close up appears to emphasize the change, wagging its hands and jumping up and down to say, “New Crowe, new Crowe!”

    I open the cover of the slightly oversized book, and see – another image of Crowe, one that looks almost exactly like the cover image, but looking left to right. It’s clear that the publicity for the film is built this sea change in Crowe’s persona.

    The subsequent book is divided into three parts. The first section is the product of interviews with both Scott and Mayle, who, it turns out, were old friends, back when both were in advertising, and before Scott became a world famous movie director and Mayle bailed from that world and began writing novels and memoirs of his life in souther France. Although the book no where makes this clear, A Good Year turns out to be a remake of A Year in Provence, already adapted to the screen, as a TV mini-series, in 1993.

    The bulk of the book tells the story of the film, copiously illustrated with color stills. The final section contains “making of” stuff that essentially reads like press kit material.

    The middle section is the book has an interesting affect. It comes across like a kids’ storybook, amply illustrated, surrounded by a nice big typeface and lots of white around the text. Here the tale of the film is laid out. It concerns a London trader named Max Skinner, played by Crowe, who inherits a winery from his uncle (played by Albert Finney). Traveling to Provence to liquidate the estate, he ends up staying for several weeks, meeting an attractive local woman who runs a restaurant, and dealing with both the surviving land manager and the young American woman who turns out to be the uncle’s rightful heir.

    The thrust of the film is that Skinner must change. He must drop the high pressure world of finance and investment gambling for the more lackadaisical but soul replenishing pace of country life. This change must come about, in classic screwball manner, though his ritual humiliation. The movie’s charge is to alert us to be patient, that Skinner will change, and grow to accept this new way of living.

    The storybook got to me at two points. One was when Skinner, in an attempt to woo the restauranteur, says he will work one night when she happens to be short handed if she will have dinner with him. Later, when he comes back from London, he surprises her and says something that on the page sounded very romantic but could be laughable out loud if Crowe doesn’t manage to say it right. I expect that he will. But don’t try it at home. Both moments started the waterworks, and I thought that, despite what might be its flaws of low comedy and sentimentality, the film might just work. At least it did on paper.

    As I was reading the storybook part, it occurred to me that this might be the best way to present scripts to actors (especially if the story about Jessica Simpson is true). It reads fast, hits all the high points, manages not to leave anything out (I assume), and is amply illustrated (there would surely be a way to PhotoShop a prospective actor into the director and production designer’s vision). Reading it takes about half as long to do as the film itself would last, and weaves its magic quickly, without all the impedimenta of classic screenplay formating.

    By this point, I was curious: Who wrote this thing? No author is credited on the cover or the title page. But buried on the last page of the book where its credits are listed, the book’s editing is credited to Diana Landau, who is a movie book project manager at Newmarket Press. I assume than that she wrote the text. If so, she might like to consider a career in treatment writing for recalcitrant readers. Her work could effectively change the way movies are made.

  • Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/30/2006

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    The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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    • Kaspar-Hauser has a special word from the law offices of Glinder & Glinder… (Thingamabob)
    • Shill that stone age grape drink, Fred… (Thingamabob)
    • Continuing our celebration of the release of the (hopefully) first volume of Sesame Street: Old School on DVD, here’s another classic bit. (Thingamabob)
    • Who’s Incapable Of Being A Millionaire? (Thingamabob)

    Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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  • Ken P. D. Snyde-Cast #19: All Hallow’s Grimace

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    Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

    Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

    Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

    VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

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    KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #19: All Hallow’s Grimace – [adult swim]’s Dana Snyder and Ken Plume’s weekly chat podcast returns with Halloween preparations, McDonald’s cuisine, and that same ol’ loveable banter.

    [CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

    DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
    Episode #19 (MP3 format)

    [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/snydecast/ken_p_d_snyde_cast-19.mp3]

    SUBSCRIBE
    Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

    Got something to say? E-mail Dana & Ken at the Snydecast mailbag.

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    CLICK HERE FOR THE SNYDECAST ARCHIVES

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  • Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/27/2006

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    The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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    • A rare color tour of the Fleischer animation studio. (Thingamabob)
    • When is a Full Metal Jacket only half full? (Thingamabob)
    • Continuing our celebration of the release of the (hopefully) first volume of Sesame Street: Old School on DVD, here’s another classic bit. (Thingamabob)

    Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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  • Weekend Shopping Guide 10/27/06: Over The Hedge

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    The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

    After his talk show went down in flames and was cancelled by the BBC, beleaguered king of the faux pas Alan Partridge finds himself with the last presenting job he can get – early morning DJ in rural Norwich. Separated from his wife, living in a travel lodge, and quickly running out of money, Partridge is desperate to get back on TV – even if it kills him (or anyone around him, including his even-more beleaguered personal assistant, Lynn). In the first series of I’m Alan Partridge (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP), Steve Coogan injects even more uncomfortable pathos into his brilliant comic creation. The 2-disc set features all 6 episodes, plus in-character audio commentaries with Partridge & Lynn, audio commentaries with Coogan, writer Peter Baynham & writer/producer Armando Iannucci, deleted scenes, and a still gallery.

    While Pixar’s Cars didn’t exactly float my boat, I really and truly dug Over The Hedge (Dreamworks, Rated PG, DVD-$29.99 SRP), about a group of animals who invade the suburbia that’s long been encroaching on their rapidly-diminishing woodland home, in search of food, glorious food.. Maybe that’s because – like Shrek before it – it wasn’t afraid to be out and out funny, which Pixar’s projects never seem to be able to sustain (or, granted, even try). Unlike Shrek, though, Hedge is a very nicely designed and animated flick – of course, it’s based on a comic strip whose art style I like a great deal, so it’s nice that they didn’t drop the ball in adapting it for CG. Bonus features include behind-the-scenes featurettes, Dwayne’s “Verm Tech” infomercial, and more.

    On the master list of shows that simply must come out on DVD, the 1960’s iteration of The Addams Family (MGM/UA, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP) was near the top. Well, the wait is over, as get a 3-disc first volume of the disturbingly funny family, featuring 22 episodes, audio commentaries, featurette, original drawings, and photos. My one disappointment? That Fox – MGM’s new distributor – is the last company still using double-sided discs for their TV releases. Please stop.

    You would think the comedic novelty of using off-the-cuff interviews with the British public (about a variety of topics) delivered by animated members of the animal kingdom would wear off, but the geniuses of both Aardman’s claymation and the (unknowing) interviewees themselves is still powerfully funny. If you don’t believe me, check out the complete second season of Creature Comforts (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$24.96 SRP) – featuring over 2 hours of episodes – and see if I’m wrong. The 2-disc set also features a trio of behind-the-scenes featurettes, an extended making-of, and the Christmas special.

    While the second season the animated Justice League was a marked improvement from the rather stale premiere season, it wasn’t until the show morphed into Justice League Unlimited (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$44.98 SRP) that everything finally gelled, and the quality of writing began to equal the heyday of the Batman and Superman animated series. Technically, the 4-disc “Season One” set features the 26 episodes that were aired as two independent seasons, but comprise an incredibly intricate and well-realized story arc rarely seen on what is ostensibly kid’s programming, with themes ranging from the overreach of government authority to homeland security. It’s an amazing storyline, and worth viewing in its unbroken entirety. Bonus features include a pair of audio commentaries (on “This Little Piggy” and “The Return”), a featurette on revamping the show in the transition to Unlimited, and audio tracks.

    And while we’re on the subject of the animated DC universe, also available is the often underappreciated Batman Beyond‘s second season (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$44.98 SRP). What could easily have evolved into a gimmick – future Batman with a teenager behind the mask – instead became deeply woven within the already establish Batman: Animated mythos, and Terry McGinnis’ Batman never fell into the trap of becoming a teenage cliché. The 4-disc set features all 26 episodes, plus a pair of audio commentaries (on “Splicers” & “The Eggbaby”) and an in-depth panel discussion with the show’s creators (Paul Dini, Bruce Timm, Glen Murakami, and Alan Burnett).

    Just in time for the release of Tim Burton’s stop-motion masterpiece in 3-D form to theaters all over the country, Danny Elfman’s soundtrack Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack (Walt Disney Records, $18.98 SRP) gets a 2-disc deluxe treatment, the centerpiece of which is the remastered original tracks themselves. The second disc features a clutch of largely negligible cover versions by Marilyn Manson, Fiona Apple, and Fall Out Boy, but is saved by a quartet of Elfman’s original demos.

    They’re cotton candy confections, to be sure, but there’s an endearing joi de vivre to the 10 films that comprise the 12-disc Astaire and Rogers: The Complete Film Collection (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$99.98 SRP) – Flying Down To Rio, The Gay Divorcee, Roberta, Top Hat, Follow The Fleet, Swing Time, Shall We Dance, The Barkleys of Broadway, Carefree, and The Story of Vernon and Irene Castle. Fully remastered and as sparkling as Fred & Ginger themselves, the discs are packed with vintage featurettes, shorts, cartoons, commentaries, and more. If that weren’t enough, there’s the feature-length documentary Astaire and Rogers: Partners In Rhythm, and a bonus CD of the sings from the films – Oh, and deluxe reproductions of photos and promotional materials from the Warner archives.

    I promise not to turn this into a political statement, but with recent developments in Congress, I can only hope that people take a moment to watch a film like The Road To Guantanamo (Sony, Rated R, DVD-$24.96 SRP). Based on a true story, it finds a trio of British flying to Pakistan for a wedding shortly after the 9/11 attacks. A spur-of-the-moment trip into Afghanistan is unfortunately timed with the US attack on al Qaeda, and the three men are captured and sent to the US military detention center at Guantanamo Bay. What happens to them there, and their eventual fate, I leave to the viewer.

    Until I saw the breadth of Pete Townshend’s solo work via his newly-remastered sans-Who albums, I never realized how prolific he’s been. Those albums – which include an impressive selection of bonus tracks – include All The Best Cowboys Have Chinese Eyes, Deep End Live!, Scoop, Another Scoop, Scoop 3, White City, Empty Glass, Rough Mix, Who Came First, and Psychoderelict (Hip-O, $13.98-$22.98 SRP each). Also available is the DVD of Townshend’s Psychoderelict: Live In New York (Hip-O, $14.98 SRP).

    I never really got into the Fox sitcom Greg the Bunny, but do think the indie film parodies that the puppet “cast” have been doing on the IFC Channel (along with meat puppet Seth Green) have been incredibly funny. Fourteen of those parodies are included in the 2-disc Greg The Bunny: Best Of The Film Parodies (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$24.98 SRP), along with audio commentaries, deleted scenes, a pair of featurettes, a gag reel, and photo galleries.

    Join the crew of the deep sea submersible SSRN Seaview for more fantastical Irwin Allen adventure in the first volume of Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea‘s second season (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP). The 3-disc set features the first 13 episodes of the show’s sophomore outing, plus special effects footage and still galleries. My one complaint is that Fox insists on using the dual-sided discs that every other studio has abandoned. Come on, guys!

    Without the work of Harry Smith, scores of folk tunes – many passed down from generation to generation – would most likely have disappeared from our collective cultural memory. A lifelong collector of the folk music of “old, weird America”, Smith’s work is a boon to us all – and is thoroughly celebrated by the 4-disc Harry Smith Project: Anthology of American Folk Music Revisited (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP). The first two audio discs feature the amazing concert that brought together the likes of Elvis Costello, Nick Cave, Sonic Youth, and Garth Hudson to perform those old standards live, with disc 3 being a DVD of the concert in full visual splendor. The final disc features the documentary The Old, Weird America, which celebrates Smith’s project, plus bonus music selections.

    Although they tend to be wildly uneven, I tend to enjoy the projects that present a series of Stephen King’s short stories in their original form (such as Cat’s Eye), as opposed to some of the failed attempts to expand a short story into a long film (granted, there are exceptions – such as Stand By Me). Having said that, it should come as no surprise that I mostly enjoyed TNT’s multi-part Nightmares & Dreamscapes (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP), which adapted 8 short stories for the small screen (“Battleground,” “Crouch End,” “Umney’s Last Case,” “The End Of The Whole Mess,” “The Road Virus Heads North,” “The Fifth Quarter,” “Autopsy Room Four,” and “You Know They Got A Hell Of A Band”). The 3-disc set also sports behind-the-scenes featurettes, interviews, and more.

    By golly, how I love the Dick York episodes of Bewitched (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$39.95 SRP). By comparison, the Dick Sergeant episodes are like watching a Bizarro version of the show – the magic (yes, pun) just isn’t there. Luckily, York was still around in the show’s fourth season, which also featured the regular line-up of favorites (even Uncle Arthur). The 4-disc set features all 33 episodes, but not a single bonus feature. Where’s the magic in that?

    Pete Townshend isn’t the only Who alum getting the remastered treatment, with Roger Daltrey’s solo albums Ride A Rock Horse, One Of The Boys, and Daltrey (Hip-O, $13.98 SRP each) also available, each containing the requisite complement of bonus tracks to round things out.

    It tries desperately hard to acquire the same kind of endearingly b-movie schlock, but Slither (Universal, Rated R, DVD-$29.98 SRP) can’t help but feel like – believe it or not – a poor man’s Tremors. Maybe that’s because it’s so self-aware of its low-rent cult aspirations, coming off as nowhere near as earnest as Tremors. Still, there’s something to be said for a flick about slithery unknown creatures besieging and devouring the populace of the stereotypical small town. Bonus features include deleted/extended scenes, an audio commentary, behind-the-scenes featurettes, a gag reel, and more.

    I know I’m in the minority, but really and truly do not know what all the fuss was about Napoleon Dynamite. I thought it was a poor red-headed stepchild of a riff off much better, much smarter, and much better realized material like Rushmore and Freaks and Geeks. It just left me cold. Regardless of my feelings towards it, though, I was at least intrigued by writer/director Jared Hess’s follow-up, Nacho Libre (Paramount, Rated PG, DVD-$29.99 SRP). Once I found out that Jack Black would be starring as a Mexican wrestler, my interest was naturally piqued. Unfortunately, what I found was more of the same aimless, lethargic filmmaking that brought Napoleon Dynamite down for me. Still, it does have Jack Black as a Mexican wrestler, so there’s that. Bonus features include an audio commentary, deleted scenes, a trio of behind-the-scenes featurettes, “Jack Black Sings!,” and more.

    There’ve been a few odd episodic releases, but fans can finally lay their hands on the complete first season of Cartoon Network’s Ed, Edd n Eddy (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP). The 2-disc set features all 13 episodes, plus an interview with the creator, a behind-the-scenes featurette, a look at how to draw Eddy, and promos.

    While some despise their overblown bombast, I’ve always loved that over-the-top orchestral pretension that could only come from The Moody Blues. Two of their landmark albums – Days of Future Passed & In Search of the Lost Chord (Deram, $26.98 SRP each) – have been fully remastered , each containing a bonus disc packed with alternate mixes, demos, and B-sides. Nights in white satin, riding see-saws on a Tuesday afternoon – that’s some good listening.

    You know, with a special appearance by Jermaine Jackson, it’s almost an embarrassment of riches in the third season of The Facts Of Life (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$29.95 SRP), but at least this is still the era of Charlotte Rae’s Mrs. Garrett. No offense to Cloris Leachman, but she doesn’t hold a candle to Rae.

    The man who gave Q-Tips, rubber bands, and aspirin dozens of new uses wraps up his DVD run with the release of the seventh and final season of MacGyver (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP). Of course, as with any long-running adventure series, things went decidedly bizarre as it wound to a close, with not only a voodoo priest, but also a bit of time travel.

    In the early 80’s, Nickelodeon’s programming day was stocked largely with shows acquired from abroad, such as You Can’t Do That On Television and Danger Mouse. One of the shows I used to watch was The Adventures of The Little Prince (Koch, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP), the lone inhabitant of asteroid B-612 who learns how to hitch rides on passing comets and explore the far ends of the galaxy. The 4-disc set features 26 episodes from the series, and I can’t wait to show them to my little nephew.

    I’ve never been a fan of the Mission: Impossible film franchise. It always struck me as far too gimmicky – like a poor man’s Bond – and the third installment in the series (Paramount, Rated PG-13, DVD-$34.98 SRP) dips even further into the recent Bond playbook, giving our hero Ethan Hunt an exploitable weakness in a wife (Michelle Monaghan) at the mercy of a sadistic arms dealer (a schizophrenic Philip Seymour Hoffman). And, I admit, Tom Cruise’s recent public lunacy played a pretty large part in turning me off to the flick – I just couldn’t take him seriously with visions of him couch-jumping like a madman dancing in my head. The 2-disc special edition features an audio commentary with Cruise and director J.J. Abrams, 9 behind-the-scenes featurettes (focusing on everything from special effects to the story development), deleted scenes, an interview with Cruise & Abrams, and more.

    You can take your fancy-pants (and increasingly monotonous) C.S.I.s in all its procedural permutations – give me the BBC’s Waking the Dead (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP), which focuses on the sleuthing abilities of the “Cold Case” Unit. Check out the complete first season set and see what I’m on about.

    Okay, as a music fan, I definitely was swept up in Beat The Intro (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$24.98 SRP) – an interactive game containing over 3,000 questions based on song intros, lyrics, pics, and history. Yes, an hour had gone by, and I didn’t even know it. I did, however, kick ass.

    Listening to Waylon Sings Hank Williams (YMC Records, $13.98 SRP), it reminds me just how much I miss Waylon Jennings as a performer and as a voice. Covering iconic Williams tunes like “Hey Good Lookin’” and “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry,” the songs are unmistakably Jennings, elevating the already classics songs.

    It was during the third season that already suspicious fans of The OC (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$69.98 SRP) – following the declining quality of season 2 – had their worst fears borne out as the once-clever show seemed to be imploding into a mess of overwrought stories and annoying characters. Which is a shame, because it burned quite brightly in its first season. The 7-disc set features all 25 episodes plus selected-scene commentary, a featurette on “The Party Favor,” behind-the-scenes of the Subways video, “What’s In A Name?” featurette, and bloopers.

    How about a bit of a Brit-TV round-up? Now available are the complete seventh series of the Britcom classic Only Fools and Horses (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP), Monarch of the Glen: Series 5 (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP), and the second series of Hamish MacBeth (BBC, Not Rated, DVD-$34.98 SRP), starring Robert Carlyle as the no-nonsense sheriff of small-town Lochdubh.

    I’m no fan of the bloody horror pics, and even less of a fan of the goretastic sado-masochism found in the Saw franchise. But far be it from me to not at least acknowledge that there is a healthy (if somewhat unfortunate) fanbase for the twisted morality exercises of Jigsaw and his special puppet friend. Saw II: Special Edition (Lionsgate, Unrated, DVD-$26.98 SRP) is pretty much a rehash of the first Saw, with the obligatory increase in the blood and gore. The new 2-disc special edition features audio commentaries, behind-the-scenes documentaries, director Darren Lynn Bousman’s short film Zombie, a tribute to producer Gregg Hoffman, and the theatrical trailer.

    So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

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  • Music For The Masses: October 26th, 2006

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    Hello there, friends! Welcome back again!! How the hell are ya’? Me? Good lord… I’m more tickled right now than a D.C. page at a Mark Foley pool party. Okay… almost as tickled. But seriously… it really makes me giddy when I ask you fine folks for a little help and you jump all over the task like Madonna on a Malawi orphanage. Color me impressed, folks. Now, for those of you just tuning in, last time out I was having issues deciding on a kick ass Halloween costume so I decided to punt to you dear readers. And, in typical Music For The Masses fashion, I got EXACTLY what I asked for… and then some. BOY, AND HOW!!!! So, without further ado, I’m turning the spotlight on the winners of the Danny Elfman CD’s, in no particular order…

    Dan L. from Burbank, CA, writes… and writes… and writes… : You could go easy and go as “Ask a Ninja”. That would be a trendy costume. I may do that, since I can do the voice pretty well and have the mannerisms down. If you want an easy costume, you could wear a big bow with a big gift tag that says TO: Women FROM: God. If that’s too cheesy for you or if you think you are the opposite of that, just change the tag to read, TO: The Women I don’t love FROM: God. It’s easy, doesn’t cost anything, and sometimes chicks think that kinda thing is clever and you get the hookups. Whatever…

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    Or you could do what I did last year and go as a suicide bomber… but only if it’s a 90% Persian party. Which I did. Oh and I’m not Persian. I’m “Whitey McHonkey” pale. You see my buddy Al Queda (his name is Bobby, but hey, everyone needs a nickname) was hosting a costume party in the Hollywood Hills. He is Iranian but is the most “American” Iranian I’ve ever met. Anyway, he said that you couldn’t get into the party if you didn’t wear a costume. I’m not one for wearing costumes and I don’t like being forced to do anything. So I said fine, I’ll wear a costume. And, like I said, it was a party with about 150 people, 90% of which were Persian. And the pic above (I’m the one on the right) is what I wore. Needless to say I thought I was going to get stabbed, but that’s why I forced my friend to be one as well, in case I needed a human shield. It actually was a big hit at the party. The host’s mom came up and told me how she felt like she was back home. Crazy, right? And I lived to tell about it. Luckily, he isn’t having a party this year because the only way I could top what I wore last year is to come as Mohammad. And I kinda want to live past Halloween.

    Holy shit, Dan. I’m sitting here right now thinking two things, three if you count a floundering joke involving the term “camel toe.” One, it must have been damn near impossible fitting that costume over your giant balls and two, who did you get to start your car for you when you left the party? BLAMO!!! Enjoy the CD, man. You more than earned it. Allahu Akbar!!

    Christina Y., hailing from Aurora, CO and obviously confusing me for a member of MENSA, offers up two suggestions. The first, is to build a giant, 9′ 2″ fucking robot… yes, fucking…

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    … with a little, motorized ant “driving” it…

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    … powered by a circuit board that would make an MIT graduate’s asshole pucker.

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    I greatly appreciate the vote of confidence here, Christina, but I couldn’t build this thing if I tried. If you’d have been paying closer attention, you’d know a couple of crucial things about me. First, I write the rough-draft of this column in crayon so I don’t hurt myself and second, my two most-favoritist things to do are playing “Sniff the Finger” and “Put Stuff On The Cat.”

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    Good times… good times. Of course, Christina, you also recommended that I go as Elfman’s “Satan” character from the Forbidden Zone and that is ABSOLUTELY worthy of a CD, so… Enjoy!!

    Jeff B. from Mesa, AZ, offers up a rather simple suggestion. “Go as a cock fighter,” he says. Interesting choice, Jeff. However, I will fully admit that I didn’t realize the enormity, length or girth of this idea until I opened the accompanying photo…

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    That’s some funny shit, right there, Jeff. Good work. Very, umm… tasteful. Enjoy the CD.

    Now, probably my favorite response is the one I received from Jim A. of Des Moines, IA. You see, Jim decided to completely ignore the whole point of this contest and just sent me his name, address and this picture…

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    … which reminds me of a porno I picked up in the $6 bin at my local “Rub n’ Chub.” At any rate, enjoy the CD, Jim. I have no idea what the hell this has to do with anything, but what the hey. Oh, and Jim? I hear that if you take just a little peanut butter and slather it all over your… oh, who am I kidding? I’m sure you already know all this!! Have fun with Rover, there, tiger!! PETA will be contacting you shortly.

    And last, but not least, is A.J. from Portland, OR, who writes… “Screw the fancy costumes, man. Pick yourself up a little kid’s Batman outfit. Trust me. . .the chicks will be all over you like old people on a buffet.”

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    Speaking of being “all over the buffet” there A.J., considering that you have bigger tits than Anna Nicole, you may want to sit one out, know what I’m sayin’, playa’? I keed, I keed!! At any rate, considering that you look a HELL of a lot like Kevin Smith in Mallrats, you get a CD. “Fly, Fat Ass!! Fly!!!”

    Well, there you have it, friends. And seriously, thanks to all of you who entered. Obviously, I can’t give you all a CD, but if you didn’t win, know this… I am reserving a special place in Heaven for each and every one of you who entered. Of course, the only seats I had left were “Obstructed View,” but what the hell… at least I’m not sticking you back by the shitters.

    For the rest of you? Feel free to use any of these ideas for your Halloween costume this year. Me? Well, you see, this outpouring of creativity, or, in some cases, out-right thievery, has made me realize that I should just come up with my own costume idea, so… that’s EXACTLY what I did. Granted, dressing up as Spider-man is not the most “original” idea, but, I think you’ll agree, I was able to put my own “stamp” on it. .

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    Pretty sweet, huh? I’m just praying it doesn’t get too cold on Halloween, otherwise, the “trick” will be on me and the only “treat” I’ll get is a frost-bitten “web-shooter.” BA DUMP BUMP!!!

    But enough about all that, friends, for, even though it’s a REALLY slow time for new releases, we still have a few to check out including the new ones from Jeremy Enigk and Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. Also, we have a review from a pissed-off Record Store clerk and a chance for you aspiring artists out there to “Pimp Your Band.” Should be fun. So, what do you say? Let’s get to it, shall we??!!

    m4m-je-oct26 Artist: Jeremy Enigk
    Album: World Waits
    Bastard Love Child of: Sunny Day Real Estate and and the sweet, angelic voice of a little baby Jesus.
    Best for: Taking a contemplative moment to wonder, “Seriously. . .What WOULD Jesus do?”

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    The fact that Jeremy Enigk is NOT a household name is one of the great tragedies of our modern times. In fact, I’m pretty sure that it is one of the signs of the Apocalypse… right between the whole “raining frogs” thing and Paris Hilton’s popularity. Oh, by the way, speaking of Paris, I guess you can “hire” her for a $100,000 to host your New Year’s Eve party. Hmm… I wonder if a video tape of you and her having awkward, fumbling sex later that night is included? Either way, I recommend pocketing the cash and spending the evening with a 1X6 with a blonde wig stapled to the top. The conversation will be more lively, the night more fun and the sex… about the same… umm, from what I’ve seen. But I digress.

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    Now, for the sake of those of you out there who have no frickin’, (yes, I just typed frickin’ in a vain attempt to “clean up my act”), clue as to who Jeremy Enigk is, let me briefly fill you in. He is the ethereal-voiced ex-lead singer of emo-core pioneers Sunny Day Real Estate (GREAT fucking band… yes, I just typed “fucking”… the attempt to clean up my act “didn’t take”), current lead singer of The Fire Theft (when he feels like it) and full-time, speakin’-in-tongues, rattlesnake-throwin’ Jesus freak. His favorite color is mauve, he has a Shitzu named Earl and he can break up a band faster than Yoko Ono. *Editor’s note: M.C. has no fucking clue what Jeremy’s favorite color is or if he even has a dog. He does, however, tend to break up his bands much like that evil harpy Yoko.*

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    Jeremy also happens to possess one of the most uniquely impressive voices that I have ever heard and his last effort with Sunny Day Real Estate, The Rising Tide, with it’s swelling orchestration, impressive guitar work and, of course, Jeremy’s tremendous vocal range, is easily in my top 25 and, I would argue, a “must own” album. And many of those same elements, minus the meaty guitar work of phenom Dan Hoener, are present on this new solo album, World Waits. However, without Dan, the album never quite kicks out of the more mellow-melodic groove of Jeremy’s work with The Fire Theft. No, this is not a bad thing. In fact, as the tracks on this overly short disc progress, fans of Jeremy’s work and any of it’s various iterations will easily recognize elements from Sunny Day’s Rising Tide or Diary and The Fire Theft disc. And this really kicks ass. For you non-fans? Hmm… honestly, for the uninitiated, I could see Jeremy’s, whinny-at-times timbre irritating the holy hell out of you. I would recommend that you pick up The Rising Tide first to get acclimated to his sound (and because you should own it) and in a friendlier (read: more accessible) environment. However, if you’re feeling adventurous and want a superb disc from an under-appreciated artist, grab a copy of World Waits and let it grow on you like a cold sore on Albert Pujols lip (Thanks HDTV!!). You won’t be disappointed.

    To check out the best songs on the disc, minus the spooky-as-hell “Damien Dreams,” hit Jeremy’s MySpace page… www.myspace.com/jeremyenigk.

    Rating: 4.5 out of 5 (only because it’s too damn short)

    doublea

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    Now before you get all discombobulated, I’ll clear one thing up for you, if you weren’t already in the know. Me First and the Gimme Gimmes is NOT a rap group. Nor are the Gimmes considered hip-hop. In fact, they are pretty far from the genre that I have been primarily getting over the last few months. See the Gimmes are a punk band, but more importantly they could be considered a “Super Punk” band. The band consists of members of other perennial punk bands like NoFX, Swinging Utters and Lagwagon. You can think of them as the Damn Yankees of a new generation. But of course instead of “The Nuge” and a 50 year old guy from Night Ranger, you get a bunch of punk dudes. I think that it’s a fair trade all around. Oh and did I mention that the Gimmes are strictly a cover band? No? Well, they are.

    Back with a fifth studio album, Love Their Country, is a collection of County-type songs done up all punk like. Normally I would shy away from anything having to do with country music, but if Me First and the Gimme Gimmes are involved, I will at least give it a listen. Love Their Country is not the groups best effort, but it’s not bad either. With songs like the Eagles Desperado and the Dixie Chicks’ Goodbye Earl, the band covers songs ranging from pseudo country to straight up, shit kicking, bull sexing country. None of the songs are bad, but there are only a few, like Goodbye Earl and Sunday Morning Comedown (Johnny Cash) that really stand out.

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    The biggest gripe I have with this album is the length. Clocking in at just over 25 minutes, this disc should have a lot more music. Of course this is quite common in the punk side of the business, and the rap side as well, but it still doesn’t mean that I have to like it. I mean if I’m going to pay for a CD, I’d like to get my money out of it. I don’t think 25 minutes quite justifies my 18 dollar expenditure. It would be like if (or more commonly when) I pay a stripper for a lap dance and she leaves her top on till half way through the song. I mean it’s just not right!

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    Anyways, Love Their Country is a good album especially if you’re a fan of that crazy punk music. If you’re a straight up country fan, I think you’ll want to stay away. But then again I think that if Garth Brooks threw more “fucks” into his songs, I could see myself giving him more of a listen.

    Rating:3 out of 5

    REVIEWS BY…

     

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    Robb O.
    “Dan’s New & Used CDeez” Employee

    Man, I’m serious. You customers REALLY piss me off. Always coming up and asking, in your whiny, little voices “Do you have any Green Day? Do you have any AFI? Do you have any Panic! At the Disco?” Gahh!! Flavors of the day, people. Flavors of the day. All you pop music posers make me want to puke all down the front of my Shitz Londer and the Horror Babes T-shirt. I even told the owner, Dan, about how much you all suck and how little you know about good music, and that asshole wrote me up! Can you believe it? Probably a fucking Hinder fan. Seriously. All of you sheep wouldn’t know good music if it bit you on your pimpled, Lucky Jean-wearing asses. I cut my teeth on Springsteen, people. Ever heard of him? Now THAT’s music. Yeah. That’s right. Can’t make fun of him, can you? That’s why I kick-ass. How about Robert Johnson? That’s right, I know the blues, too. Uh huh. That’s why I rule and you drool. Ever heard of Beat Farmers? G Love and Special Sauce? Of course you haven’t. You suck. Seriously. From the giant, commercial tit. Just lapping up whatever the major labels throw at you. Damn! Wait till you leave the store, man. . .me and Steve are going to make sooo much fun of you, your ears are going to burn clean off.

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    I’m not EVEN joking here… if one more person asks me about the new Sparta disc, I’m going to go postal. Seriously, idiots. Let Uncle Robb give you a little history lesson here since you suck. First, stupid jack-asses, I was into these guys way back when they were in At The Drive-In. Yeah. That’s right. Back when you were listening to Top-40 pabulum, I was into these guys. Hell, their first album came out right when I started here. Me and Steve were both like “Yeah! This is the shit!! This is so much better than all of that pop-crap, major label bullshit that our customers are always asking for! Yeah!!!” Of course, I don’t know why I’m even telling you this. I know you’ve never heard of them. But I have. That’s why you suck. Whatever. Let’s just suffice it to say that ATDI were the best thing to come out of San Diego since Rocket From the Crypt. Don’t worry. I know you’ve never heard of them either… because you suck. Like Sinatra said, “The money’s on the dresser.” No, I don’t know what that means, but screw you. I’m quoting Sinatra. You can’t do that.

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    Look, time for me to take you to school here… try to stay with me if your tiny brains are able. At The Drive-In basically redefined music for an entire generation of bands, much like Morphine. True “artistes” in every sense of the word. When they disbanded, the world, this Earth and certainly what we humans refer to as music, got a little bit more opaque. No, I don’t know what that means, but it doesn’t matter. Like Morrisey once said, “Girlfriend in a coma, I know. It’s serious.” Yeah… stings, huh?

    So anyway, idiots, the two most responsible for At The Drive-In’s true direction and intensity, Cedric and Omar (you know the guys that were in DeFacto before At The Drive-In? Of course you don’t), they formed the Mars Volta back when you were still listening to Brittany Spears and Matchbox 20. That’s right. I could school you like this all day long. All day long, man. Well, at least until my shift ends at 8. I thought I was going to have to close tonight, but Dan called Rick, so I’m cool. But, hey… I think I’ve already proven that, you pop-loving mongoloids.

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    You dummies still with me? Yeah, well, the other At The Drive-In guys, the more “mainstream” guys, formed the sellout, “wannabe” shame Sparta. But of course you DO know this. You suck. That’s why you keep asking me for this album. After all, your masters at MTV and bullshit radio told you too. Sheep. If you had ANY taste at all, you’d be asking me for Fugazi. Whatever. Like pearls before swine. No, I don’t know what that means, but whatever. You suck.

    Consider yourself schooled and if you’ve learned nothing else today, I hope you at least learned that you suck. In fact, don’t even bother coming into this store anymore until you get some musical taste like I have. Your taste in music sucks even more than the new Sparta disc. And no, I haven’t even listened to it, but I don’t have too ““ Sparta sold out. After all, how can they be good when they’ve had their souls ground up in the corporate machine?

    Rating: -1000 out of 5

    * Editor’s notes:

    At The Drive-In is actually from El Paso, Texas”¦ not San Diego.

    Rob actually liked the new Sparta until Steve made fun of him. Steve liked it until somebody made fun of him.

    The new Sparta disc is actually quite good and a musical and lyrical improvement over their last disc (Rating 3.5 out of 5).

    Records store clerks don’t know shit about music and are generally dicks.*

    BAND OF THE WEEK!!!!

    You know? In addition to MySpace being a GREAT place to meet a Dateline reporter, it’s also a great place to check out some new and unsigned artists. To honor these individuals and their art, I thought it would be cool to feature a band here each time out, sans any remarks or comments from yours truly. Consider this your place to shine. If you want you or band featured here, just drop me a line. Up first…

    THE TASTYDACTYLS

    Austin, Texas

    m4m-tasty

    Website: www.myspace.com/thetastydactyls

    Band Members:

    Blake- Guitar/Vocals/Keys

    Austun- Drums/Vocals/Train Whistle

    Kyle- Keys/Synth/Samples

    Big Blake- Rickenbacker Bass/Tamborine

    Chelsey- Everything Else

    Influences: Too numerous (and humorous) to list. Log on and see for yourself!

    Sounds Like: “The Muppet Band re-mixed.”

    CD Available? YES!!! Again, hit the web-site and check us out!!

    Label: None… for now!

    Message from the band: Big Blake- “The only thing I can tell you about us over and above what you can glean from our web-site is that we are a fun-loving group, a tremendous live act and that the three 19 year olds in the band all went to high school together. The original bass player “lost interest” AND, because they were practicing in my garage (guitarist has dated my daughter for almost 4 years), I chipped in, started popping the bass and helping with the song writing. In my humble opinion… that decision paid off in spades! Finally, we have a CD ready to ship to our adoring fans so… what are you waiting for?? Check us out!!”

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    If you want your band featured here, shoot me an email at the link below!

    Well, folks, that’s going to do it for me and the gang this week, so… until next time… keep wearing it proud and playing it loud.

    Send pictures of stuff on your cat, review copies, presents and assorted hate mail to:


    M.C. Bell
    P.O. Box 1222
    Arvada, CO 80001

    E-MAIL THE AUTHOR

    m4m-pumpkin

  • Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/26/2006

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    The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

    ————————————————

    • Christopher Walken’s Three Little Pigs… (Thingamabob)
    • Continuing our celebration of the release of the (hopefully) first volume of Sesame Street: Old School on DVD, here’s another classic bit. (Thingamabob)
    • A little snippet of the brilliant QI, with a bit of a Halloween theme… (Thingamabob)

    Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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  • The Fred Hembeck Show: Episode 78 – Ghost to Ghost

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    Halloween is almost upon us again.

    Me, I love All Hallows Eve. If there truly is one holiday that belongs to kids, this – even more so than Christmas – is it. But unlike waking up on December 25th, reasonably assured Santa stopped off the night before, delivering the requisite gifts, there’s always an unsettling uncertainty about October 31st’s grand finale.

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    Stop and think about it – you can watch a scary movie anytime, buy yourself a bag of candy corn at your tummy’s convenience, throw a costume party whenever you choose, even carve a pumpkin when the mood hits you, but trick or treating? Uh uh – there’s a very small window of opportunity for THAT activity – roughly a couple of hours on the last night of each October – and when it’s over, baby, it’s OVER!

    You were too sick to go out gathering candy with your friends? Sorry, pal – there’s no do-overs on November 1st. You’re just gonna have to wait – AN ENTIRE YEAR!!

    A torrential downpour? Oh, well – just gotta hope for better weather next time around.

    Yeah, Halloween can be cruel.

    It rained the night of my daughter Julie’s initial trick or treating expedition. Happily, while it was a steady rain, it wasn’t enough to keep us off the streets – or enough to give us pneumonia either! She was only three at the time, and the truth is, I got just as big a kick – maybe more – of roaming the streets in search of sweets as Julie did. We were living in the smallish city of Kingston then, where there was a rather early curfew of 7 o’clock, and I can still vividly recall the last house we visited that night as we headed back home. It was maybe five minutes past seven, and as we climbed up onto one final porch, and rang one last doorbell, I saw the women come from down the hallway towards us. Initially, all she could see was my weatherbeaten countenance, and frankly, she looked pretty disgusted, but as soon as she got close enough to spy the adorable two foot ghost accompanying me, her expression changed entirely. It was a lesson that would serve us well in the selling of Girl Scout cookies – it’s hard to say no to “cute”.

    Well, maybe that evening’s precipitation was our trial by fire (such as it was), and we passed, because ever since, we’ve been lucky enough to have had rain free Halloweens, several of which were downright balmy for upstate New York. When we moved here to our new home ten years back, we also moved into a curfew-free environment. Generally, the rule of thumb around these parts is that the costumed ghouls and ghosties take to the streets somewhere between 5 and 9, with most of the heavy activity falling between 6:30 and 8. Of course, that doesn’t preclude teen-agers banging on your door at 10:45 as they did the first year we were here. I answered the door, but expressed a bit of surprise that they’d even consider stopping by at that late an hour. The teens were quick to point out that we had left all our outdoor lights on, and to them, that was clearly a signal that we were still actively in the candy-doling business. Well, I gave then their Baby Ruth’s and sent them on their way, quickly turning off our lights, and have made a point of extinguishing our outer illumination shortly after nine each year since, meaning we’ve had no further late-night visits.

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    Which is not to say that we haven’t been on the OTHER side of the coin ourselves. For a number of years, we’d go out with the next door neighbors, a pair of sisters and their mom. We’d head out as close to six as possible, and then just keep going, making big looping circles around the area, stopping in at home mid-way through to drop off our booty and maybe down a refreshing drink. Year in and year out, the kids next door would inevitably poop out about a half an hour before us, calling it a night while Julie and I trudged on, covering several now ever more deserted streets. One was a dead end where the folks way at the furthest end always put way too much effort into making their home Halloween friendly, as not nearly enough trick or treaters ever made it down there to fully appreciate all the cobwebs, skeletons, and carved pumpkins gaudily on display.

    But we always made it, always alone, always near the end of our journey. HOW near the end? Well, I’ll never forget the one time, after our annual visit to the aforementioned Spooktacular, we headed on over to the house next door. Since the outdoor lights were still on – meaning it was fair game (no lights mean stay away, sorry, not home, or, done for the night) – we went up and rang the door bell. We waited patiently for a few seconds, and then through the large picture window in front, I saw a man, toothbrush still in mouth, dressed in pajamas, grab his robe, and head towards the door. By the time he’d opened the door, he had managed to put aside the toothbrush and bruskly gave Julie her treat.

    Oops. You never want to be answering the door on Halloween in your jammies…

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    I accompanied my daughter on her annual moonlight treks from ages three right on up to eleven, but was then politely informed that y’know, maybe she was getting a wee bit too old to be trick or treating with her daddy. I had to agree, however reluctantly. The following year was pretty rough – I had street walking withdrawal (if you know what I mean), but at least these days I get to stay at home and hand out goodies to the costumed cut-ups who knock on our door. It’s not quite the same as the magic of being out in the thick of things, but I guess it’s gonna have to do me. No doubt about it, I really treasure the time I put in on past Halloween expeditions. More than once, I’d stop Julie and tell her to take a look around and consider what was going on: right then and there, in every town, on every street, and at every house, kids dressed up in funny outfits were going door to door to stranger’s houses, requesting candy, and – oboy! – getting it!! Wow! What a wonderfully crazy idea this was!

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    But it only lasts for a few ephemeral hours on one specific night each year, and if you missed it, you missed it. And even while we were amassing our booty – and it was more the thrill of the hunt than it was the bagging of the game, trust me – I could always sense the minutes ticking inexorably away, the magic of the night slowly evaporating, until the raucous crowds of kids criss-crossing each other on our suburban streets was reduced to merely occasional far-away echoes of stragglers as Julie and I headed home, rarely seeing anyone else still making out the rounds. All too soon, it was over, and everything was back to normal. Dull, unmagical normal….

    Some folks don’t dig the trick or treating, and I respect that. Look, I was lucky enough to grow up in a Halloween friendly area, and the same can be said for now 16 year old Julie. But I suppose there are places where going out in the dark of night, angling for sweets, well, that may NOT be the best of ideas. That’s a dirty shame, because trick or treating really is a uniquely special custom, one I’m happy to take part of in any way possible!

    One other personal tradition I’ve maintained growing up was rereading my various Little Lulu Halloween giants at the end of each October, especially in those years after I myself was deemed a bit too old to go trick or treating. This was a way for me to properly capture the spirit of the season, as these were the only comics I’ve ever encountered that acknowledged there was far more to Halloween than just telling hackneyed old ghost stories and the like. I’ve shared some random images from those late fifties, early sixties classic issues here to accompany my ruminations, and I hope I didn’t trick you into thinking this week’s episode was actually going to be about comics! Now, THAT would’ve been a treat! Maybe next time…

    Happy Halloween, friends!

    Hembeck.com – live from ghost to ghost all year round!

    -Copyright 2006 Fred Hembeck

  • Scrubs Blog: Judy’s Shout Out

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    VIDEO BLOG #63: “Judy’s Shout Out” ““
    Still on the mend but healing fast, Judy Reyes drops a quick thanks to all you wonderful fans and well-wishers…

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    Download Scrubs Video Blog #63:

    • Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 7.72 MB)
    • Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 3.33 MB)

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  • Brat-halla #151: Norse Force – Spin the Battle

    by Jeffery Stevenson and Seth Damoose with colors by Anthony Lee

    NEWS: Well, all good things come to an end”¦ but not this comic. Seth and I (after a lot of thought and debating) have decided to move Brat-halla over to a new website. We’ll keep posting here for the next 2-3 weeks to let the casual readers get the news, but we’ll now be a part of Graphic Smash. We’ve enjoyed our time here, but we really wanted to make the comic (and its archives) easier to read for new readers and our long-time readers. Spook’d will keep chugging along here at Quick Stop.

    Larger Comic Version | ARCHIVES | OLDER ARCHIVES

    Brat-halla #151: Norse Force - Spin the Battle

    For extras, visit the Brat-halla Web site!

    Check out the preview to the Image comic Jeff writes…

    E-MAIL WRITER | ABOUT JEFF | ABOUT SETH | BRAT-HALLA BLOG | BRAT-HALLA FORUM | ARCHIVES

  • Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/25/2006

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    The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

    ————————————————

    • The absolute worst Oscar opening number, ever. (Thingamabob)
    • Conan O’Brien and “The Monster Mash.” Dance, you red-headed monstrosity, dance! (Thingamabob)
    • Continuing our celebration of the release of the (hopefully) first volume of Sesame Street: Old School on DVD, here’s another classic bit. (Thingamabob)
    • And finally, High Poobah Kevin Smith on Sucks Less… (Thingamabob)

    Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

    ##

  • Keneteph’s Korner: Film Review – Before The Music Dies

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    Before the Music Dies: Putting the “Muse” Back in Music

    As an independent musician, I have been hit with the harsh reality that things in the recording industry have not changed for the betterment of the artist.  Record companies are interested in the bottom line of making money, and not putting out music that positively influences, or grows on the listener.  The opportunities to openly express oneself and be heard that my influences had, are not exactly there for up and coming artists like myself.

    When I first heard about director Andrew Shapter, and co-writer Joel Rasmussen’s film Before the Music Dies, a sense of inspiration hit me.  Once I finished watching the film, the feeling only grew, opening my mind to the fact that many music fans, and artists alike want to do something to change music for the better.  The film features artists Erykah Badu, Dave Matthews Band, Bonnie Rait, and Questlove from The Roots, and others all talking about their dissatisfaction on the way things have gone in the music industry.

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    Joel Rasmussen & Andrew Shapter

    Both Shapter and Rasmussen talked with me more in depth about their influences and purpose behind the film.  Shapter originally came up with the idea to make this documentary through his experience as a fashion photographer.  “I would take pictures for CD covers, and MTV, and noticed a shift in my job where an emphasis was placed on making the artist look younger as opposed to their music,” he explained.  Questions he posed about this and other issues in the music industry were subsequently answered in the film.  He pitched the idea for the film to Rasmussen, who is also a musician, and was keneteph2006-10-24 05.jpgtired of hearing the same songs on the radio.  “Both of us are parents and it concerned us that most songs don’t talk about things anymore,” Rasmussen said.  Reflecting on the music of yesteryear, they were frustrated that the lyrics in music have become so watered down.  “There was a time when an artist’s songs talked about things that were going on in the world and inspired its listeners,” Shapter added, “now the industry is not investing in prolific writers,.”  In search of the reason behind authentic music’s apparent demise, they allowed their quest to be the fuel behind creating an insightful documentary to pass on to their children, and other future generations to come.

    Addressing this serious topic in an entertaining, yet informative way, Shapter, and Rasmussen educate the viewer on the ins and outs of a business many are so infatuated with.  In comparing music of today with songs of the past there is a humorous scene when radio personality/comedian Charlie Hodge interviewed what looked like  teenage girls after an Ashlee Simpson concert.  He asked them if her songs inspired them to do anything and in a giggly tone they responded “no!”  Despite there being a lack of musical inspiration for today’s youth, Before the Music Dies offers a silver lining to the nasty storm the current music industry has created.  Shapter says the goal of this movie is three fold; to first wake up the audience and go below the surface of the music industry.  The other is to inspire musicians and show them that in lieu of their frustration there is hope.  Lastly, they want communities to support independent musicians by going to their shows.

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    Before the Music Dies is distributed by B-Side Entertainment which is putting the film on a national screening tour.  The tour will focus on communities where die hard music fans reside.  Steve Waters, a representative from B-Side stated the film will reach audiences that otherwise wouldn’t be reached.  “There will be a music screening for inner city youth in Rhode Island, and also one in Morehouse College,” he stated.  They are also looking for organizations across the nation who would be interested in hosting a screening of the film.  For more information on the film, or if interested in hosting a screening go to www.beforethemusicdies.com, or www.myspace.com/beforethemusicdies.

    View Trailer

    –Copyright 2006 Keneteph Entertainment

  • Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/24/2006

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    The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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    • Go watch the first four minutes of Borat. Is very funny. (Thingamabob)
    • And they say advertising lies… It seems beauty is in the eye of the Photoshop filter. (Thingamabob)
    • Taking Congress back, one Jedi at a time. (Thingamabob)
    • In celebration of the release of the (hopefully) first volume of Sesame Street: Old School on DVD, how about a classic tune about a man and his Duckie? (Thingamabob)
    • Lewis Black on the Reality TV Writers strike… (Thingamabob)

    Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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  • Party Favors: Of Mouse And Man

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    ORLANDO – Why do parents insist on bringing kids to Disney World? Are they gluttons for punishment? Or are they merely sadists that enjoy ruining vacations for everyone else?

    Disney wants us to think we’re going to “the happiest place on Earth.” But after you cleared the turnstiles, you’ve entered the world’s largest a K-Mart.  If ever there was a land where parents want to beat their kids, it’s the Magic Kingdom. The cast members should wear a pin declaring, “Can I hold your purse while you shut up your brat?”

    If your child isn’t 40 inches high, don’t bring them to Orlando. Why haul a kid to Florida that can’t get on the E ticket rides? I can’t stand having to watch 36 inch kids whine about why they can’t ride Space Mountain. They whine and cry longer than the ride – including the walk through the concourse. Worse is idiot parents that haven’t a clue how tall their kids are. They take them halfway through the line only to see junior not measure up at the entrance. I get to experience their kid screaming at the gate demanding a chance to die in the dark. Remembering when thinning the herd was a positive part of child rearing?

    The 30 inch high kid is the perfect height to ride my knee when they dart around the park trying to make a break for Donald Duck’s arms. Instead of being able to enjoy the beauty of my surrounds, most of my time I have to look down to make sure that I don’t stomp a tyke or two. Amazingly enough, it becomes my problem when I break their kid’s nose. How am I supposed to enjoy myself with a constant fear of being carted away in cuffs and facing a million dollar lawsuit? What is so wrong with keeping kids on a leash? And remember to pay extra for the muzzle.

    If the height thing is a little too tough for you to figure out with your child, here’s a simple approach: if you have to push your kid in a stroller – don’t go to Disney.

    Wanna know what’s slower than a baby being pushed in a stroller? A baby being pushed in a stroller by their grandparents. Some of us have come to a theme park to get on as many rides as humanly possible. The worst part is they clump up and swap “cute grandkid” stories as their paces slows down But the molasses disaster patrol can gunk up any smooth experience. NFL offensive line coaches should visit Orlando to learn the geriatric blocking patterns.

    I want to be able to relax and enjoy myself in the land of Mickey Mouse. It costs $67 for a one day pass and another $45 for the park hopper. After taxes I’ve forked out $120 to witness parents berating their kid to stop whining or they’re going back to the hotel. They’re blowing my cool. I paid for fun and instead I’m getting to relive my own childhood trauma trips. I’m going to have to pay a shrink $200 an hour to recover from my vacation.

    What really gets these family squabbles going is the huge amount of Disney merchandise that little kids want. Disney World is a huge gift shop interrupted by lines for rides. In the Magic Kingdom only 2 major rides don’t end in giftshops (The Haunted Mansion and Thunder Mountain Railroad). There’s dozens of “gimme” moments to hurdle when it comes to little kids. I don’t get the necessity of Disney to overwhelm us with giftshops. All of Main Street is a giftshop. Who wants to buy large amounts of glassware after getting off a ride? Where are you supposed to put this stuff when it’s time to get on Space Mountain? The obvious answer is to shove it down your kids throat when he won’t zip his yap. But that’s illegal under Florida law.

    You really shouldn’t take your kids to Disney World until they’re old enough to drive you to Florida. And if the little ones want to go, just take them to Hooters. They get a rush out of a riding around the table in the arms of a waitress in a tanktop.

    TEARS FOR A GLOBE

    EPCOT is the saddest place in the universe (outside of A-Rod’s bathroom). The episode of The Simpsons where the family gets stuck in a nightmarish theme park based on EPCOT isn’t a joke. Walt’s dream of a society that pushes the boundaries of science hasn’t merely been abused by the Disney suits. It’s been beaten to death by Walt’s own creation.

    Unlike the hustle and bustle that meets you at the gates of the Magic Kingdom, the longest ride at EPCOT is the security shakedown. Can I just ponder what’s the point of merely looking in a purse? If you’re an active terrorist, are you really just going to put your tools of destruction in your Birken Bag?

    And it is at the gate that you can immediately tell that Disney is giving up on EPCOT as a vision of the future. The amazing Geodesic Globe has now been defaced with a Mickey Mouse arm and stars strewn across it’s surface.  And the topiary bushes in front of the dome are shaped like characters from Beauty and the Beast. Who needs the future when you can have Disney magic tossed in your face? The buildings of Future World look way too educational for their own good.

    The saving grace of EPCOT can be summed up in one word: Booze! Yes, the whole point of going to this theme park is dinner in the World Showcase with real booze from around the world.

    The bad part is that it must be a two mile walk to get from the gate to the imported beer and wine. In the Florida heat and humidity, it’s inhumane. When it comes to visions of the future, nothing tops The Jetsons. Did you ever see George and Jane walking to dinner? Why doesn’t Disney have stinking people movers in their recreation of tomorrow? And it seemed like a majority of the people in the park wanted to get to the World Showcase.

    Disney needs to convert the Future area to what people want – Land of Booze! Why not give us an exhibit courtesy of Jack Daniels, Jim Beam and Aristocrat? And for the ladies, come on down to the lake to see how Cabana Boy mixes up the good stuff.

    WHO RUNG IN?

    While the new snazzy set on Jeopardy looks great, they need to fix the lights that declare which contestant has buzzed in first. On the long shot, I can barely see the row of thin red lights pop up. My TV set is bigger than a Watchman. Why must Alex and the gang be so secretive in letting us know which of the three is going to belt out the question? Are they hiding it from the terrorists?

    BAM!

    Will Barry Scott (Mr. Easy-Off Bam!) duke it out with Billy Mays (Kaboom!) for most annoying pitchman that isn’t selling Head On? I’ve already seen one ad with Barry and I already want to throw a Bloomin’ Onion at his head. And what’s up with importing this guy from Australia? Are we lacking annoying goofs in this country? We need immigration reform to protect the future jerks being raised in America.

    WHO ARE YOU CALLING FOR?

    Will Citibank outsource their phonebank to a part of India that speaks English? What’s the point of calling it customer service if a customer has to call up the UN for a translator to figure out how to get serviced? I can’t even cuss at these folks across the world because they don’t know my kind of swearing. Remember when we were merely pissed off at getting routed around the phone wizard? We just wanted a human voice. And now we’re paying for it since these loser businesses went cheap.

    BLOOMIN’ FUN HUM

    Hurray for the “Outback Tonight” jingle for the Outback Steakhouse. Enough with just recycling the same classic rock tunes to push your product. Give us the tunes that sell the tasty products!  The jingle is the best new song on the radio this season. Now I’m ready for another Bloomin’ Onion!

    HAMMER HURT HER!

    Before Dancing With the Stars started the new season, Tom DeLay sent out an email telling his supporters to call up and vote for Sara Evans, the country music star. “We need to send a message to Hollywood and the media that smut has no place on television by supporting good people like Sara Evans,” wrote DeLay. Well a few weeks into the show Evans has filed for divorce and it’s pretty f’n ugly. She’s claiming her husband was a horn dog who didn’t mind sitting around watching porn while his son walked into the room. Plus the guy cheated on her with the nanny. Evan’s husband is now getting word out that she was a bad mother who neglected her kids while dancing for the show. Plus word is spreading that she was boffing Kenny Chesney.

    What sort of “good people” is Sara Evans? DeLay was trying to slam Jerry Springer, but it appears that Evans and her husband are running around a stage in Chicago throwing chairs, flashing boobs and being held back by Steve. Thanks to disgraced ex-Congressman DeLay, we’ve once again been fooled into supporting the morally degenerate Showbiz weasels. Maybe Evans isn’t one of those evil Hollywood freaks, but country music is a world of sex freaks and drug abusers.

    The fun part is that Kenny Chesney has already said that he didn’t have sex with Sara Evans. “He would NEVER think of her like that,” said a Cheney PR flack. Insert laughter from the bullriders who have their own theory about Kenny and women. If anything could have helped it’s reputation, it would have been to release videotapes. Of course we live in a universe where David Geffen, the gayest man in Hollywood has boffed Marlo Thomas and Cher.

    I wonder about the relationship between DeLay and Sara Evans? Maybe the Hammer earned his nickname the old fashioned way? Chesney said that they are merely “good friends” and DeLay used those same words. Hmmmm?

    All I need to know right now is that Sara Evans is now responsible for a lot of smut being aired on TV thanks to her disgusting lifestyle. Perhaps DeLay needs to send out an email to America for promoting a pack of pervs, Quit hurtin’ us, Hammer.

    BOO!

    After crapping out for the past few years, both TCM and AMC have gone overboard on providing monster flicks for this Halloween season.

  • Contest: Win a Silver Screen Edition Dracula from Sideshow Collectibles!

    Quick Stop Entertainment, in partnership with Sideshow Collectibles, is giving away a Silver Screen Edition Dracula, courtesy of the fine folks at Sideshow. Don’t miss your chance to win this premium format figure.

    Enter the contest!
    Email: 
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    Subscribe me to the
    Sideshow Collectibles Newsletter!

    Official Rules

    No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter. (Darn I hate this rule!!!!).

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    All individuals who opt-in to receiving the Sideshow Collectibles Newsletter understand that they will be receiving e-mail newsletters from Sideshow Collectibles, which details their new licenses, upcoming products, monthly giveaways, and guest interviews! Entrants understand and agree to Sideshow Collectibles’ privacy policy, and understand that they may cancel their Sideshow Collectibles Newsletter subscription at anytime. No purchase is necessary to win this contest.

    All submitted entries must be received by 11:59PM, EST, October 31, 2006.

    Important Shipping Information:

    All winners agree to pay shipping on any prizes granted by Sideshow Collectibles during any contest or giveaway. Specific details can be found in our contest terms section. Please read these carefully before entering.

    The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after announcement of win to receive the product. All prizes are non-transferable, with no cash redemptions and/or substitutions except at Sponsor’s sole discretion. All international winners will be responsible for any duties, tariffs, taxes or import fees assessed to their prize. Further some countries outside of the U.S. do not have reliable mail services. In the event that a prize has been stolen or mishandled during shipment to an international destination, Sideshow may not be able to replace the specific item. If the winner prefers a specific quicker shipping method, they are responsible to notify us immediately and will also be responsible to cover the additional costs if any.

    Delivery time & Restrictions:

    All continental US orders are shipped FedEx ground service. Because FedEx cannot provide tracking numbers for P.O. Boxes, Sideshow Collectibles will no longer ship to a P.O. Box. Please provide your street address or your shipment will be delayed. For FedEx Ground deliveries, please allow up to 6 business days for delivery from the date your order is shipped. Please visit the Sideshow Collectibles website for restrictions on International Shipping.

  • A Message From John Hodgman

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    AS YOU MAY KNOW, Jonathan Coulton and I will be visiting Square Books in Oxford, Mississippi this Saturday, Oct 28, at 4PM.

    NOW IT HAS COME TO OUR ATTENTION that, in addition to being a lovely, leafy, whiskey-soaked town, final resting place of the corpse of William Faulkner, and seat of Lafayette County, OXFORD ADDITIONALLY ENJOYS SPORTS.

    Especially: OLE MISS FOOTBALL.

    IN FACT, there will be a FOOTBALL CHALLENGE that very morning between the Ole Miss Rebels and the Auburn Fierce Footballers, or whatever they are called.

    (I DO NOT KNOW ABOUT SPORTS.)

    WHAT THIS MEANS, according to the very kind staff Square Books is as follows…

    A) Everyone in town will be drunk.
    B) After the game, it is hard to say who will want to come to a 4PM reading
    of FAKE TRIVIA.
    C) But we should come on down anyway and hang out and have a drink.

    LISTEN: this all sounds fine to me.

    HOWEVER, it occurs to me that there may in fact be some people in Oxford, in greater Mississippi , and even Southern Tennessee who do not love sports and might enjoy this non-sporting event.

    hodgman-02.jpgFOR THEM, I offer the humble alternative: fake trivia, and fellowship, and also BRANDY.

    FOR IN FACT, though I am useless at sports, I do like the drunk part. And so, Coulton and I have agreed to serve at this particular reading a BRANDY SANGAREE to all legal persons in attendance.

    A SANGAREE, as you surely know, is a reviver, a pick-me-up, a transitional drink from one intoxication to the other, providing a perfect 4PM brandy twilight from the boozy morning tailgaiting to the late night rowdyness that is sure to follow.

    SURELY THIS IS AN OFFER EVEN A SPORTSMAN CANNOT DENY!

    SO I ASK OF YOU, friends in the South and on the Internet, please spread word of this affair to your non-sporting friends and let them know a Sangaree awaits them in the beautiful town square.

    AND OF YOU, Oxfordians, I ask you to forgive us for being different and asthmatic and strange: a Sangaree awaits you as well, should you wish to rest your Rebel head for a moment atop a pile of books full of words.

    LET US JOIN TOGETHER for once, and show the world that there can be peace between these two tribes, PEACE THROUGH BRANDY, and FAKE TRIVIA.

    AND THEN everyone can buy books and get on with their lives.

    AS THE WEEK GOES ON, I will occasionally remind you of this event, and maybe ask for some help with getting all the brandy and nutmeg together.

    FOR NOW, though, I leave you with a particularly poetic bit of copy from the Square Books events page:

    “THIS IS WHAT YOU THINK IT IS”

    which is to say

    THAT IS ALL

    –John Hodgman

    Visit John Hodgman on the web at www.areasofmyexpertise.com

    Read the Quick Stop interviews with John Hodgman & Jonathan Coulton.

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  • Spook’d #100: Extreme Lair Makeover – Furniture in a Flash

    by Jeffery Stevenson and Seth Damoose with colors by Anthony Lee

    Larger sized comic | ARCHIVES | OLDER ARCHIVES

    Spook'd #100: Furniture in a Flash

    To see Spook’d host Alastor’s blogging silliness and more fun Spook’d stuff,visit the Spook’d Web site!

    Check out the preview to…

    E-MAIL WRITER | ABOUT JEFF | ABOUT SETH | SPOOK’D BLOG | SPOOK’D FORUM | ARCHIVES | OLDER ARCHIVES

    Disclaimer: All material in Spook’d is fictitious and intended solely for the purpose of entertainment. Names are fabricated and any similarity to real people or places is purely coincidental except in those cases where public figures are being satirized.

  • Preachin’ From The Longbox: I’ve Lost That Loving Feeling

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    The Last Sermon – “I’ve Lost That Loving Feeling”

    October 23, 2006

    I’ve finally lost it.New York aka Tiffany from Flavor of Love 2

    Not in a postal sense. And not in the sense of losing it like New York’s going out with her verbal guns a-blazin’ when she got bounced by Flavor Flav in the “The Flavor of Love 2″ finale. I would say that she should save that drama for her mama but it seems like that’s where she got it from in the first place. That girl has more baggage than Samsonite.

    Actually, I think that I’ve hit some sort of mental wall and in the process, I’ve lost my passion for writing about comics. Well, at least for the time being.

    To get a better grip on why I lost this drive, I went through some personal inventory. Obviously, some of the blame has to do reside me and I’ll own up to that fact. While I often derive a sense of accomplishment from bringing a “different” view on the world of comics while not trying to be serious about the whole industry, it is no longer as fun as it used to be in recent months. That has never more apparent than by the recent delays in the posting of the PftL columns; normally they were posted on a bi-weekly schedule but now have slid into an almost once a month-ish, when I have something to say kind of pattern. That’s not good. Also, while I’ve always claimed that I’m an unabashed hypocrite in most respects, I’m finding it more and more difficult to constantly bitch about some comic books that are always delayed when my own columns miss multiple deadline dates.

    I also seem to have lost my, for lack of better words, comic book radar. I pride myself in trying to unearth comic book nuggets and offer them to you, the reader, on a four-color platter. But within the past few months, I’ve missed writing about a couple of topical things:

    “Aquaman” pilot on iTunes ““ How could this slipped past me? I found out about this from Entertainment Weekly and after verifying that it was there, I couldn’t look myself in the mirror for a couple of days. How can I call myself a comic book columnist if I didn’t know that this Smallville spin-off was in existence? It is almost inexcusable.

    “Space Sentinels: The Complete Series & Freedom Force: The Complete Series” ““ Again, how long have I been asleep at the wheel? This set was released back at the end of August and I just found out about it yesterday night. I’m so about the old Filmation superhero junk. I would’ve pimped this stuff at least a full month before it came out. For no other reason other than to make sure that there will be more of this classic 70s-80s Saturday Morning cartoon stuff out on DVD. At least, I can mark a December date in my calendar for the release of “Dungeon & Dragons: The Complete Series”.

    Alright, back to the subject at hand. Typically, I should be able to write a column about comic books with my eyes closed (and if you read some of my older columns, it may literally be the case). But the fault is not all at my feet. The books themselves have left me, for the lack of better words ““ speechless or for the problem for the continuation of this column, wordless. And obviously, that’s not a good thing.

    Currently, the mission of both Big Two in the comic book industry is hopelessly devoted to one thing, which is that money-grabbing and decompression-abusing practice that is also known as company-wide crossovers. Bruce Hornsby and the Range

    Now, before any of you out there rightly say that there are many more genres to comic books for people to read other than an overindulgence of the Big Two’s superhero comic books, I can only say two things:

    One ““ Despite the emergence of Image, Dark Horse, Oni Press, IDW, Boom Studios, Viper, and the rest of the smaller publishers, the comic book industry rises and falls on the weekly output that transpires from the Big Two. I wish that it wasn’t the case because there really are some inspired books being created and sold. But as Bruce Hornsby sang all those years ago, “That’s just the way it is. Some things will never change.”

    Two ““ I was “made” into this business as a tights-and-cape guy over twenty years ago and I can’t seem to shake it. Trust me; I know that I’m not the only one who still feels that way.

    Trying to keep up with these 100-plus inter-connected monthly titles (plus stand alone title) is mentally, not to mention physically, exhausting. You can’t swing a dead cat in a comic book shop without hitting at least ten books that don’t have somewhere on the cover bearing either Identity Crisis, Infinite Crisis, Year One, House of M, DeciMation, or Civil War logo. That’s too prevalent; especially for my liking.The Worst Movieof 2006

    All of this stuff is so in my something-to-bitch-about wheelhouse; just in case you didn’t know. And yet, I don’t have the impetus to transcribe my feelings into words. It’s as if I have this feeling that I haven’t had since I took that Home Economics class back in seventh grade, which is the same one I have for the lame 80s parity, Totally Awesome. That feeling is one of the seven deadly sins that scared Billy Batson into becoming Captain Marvel all those years ago ““ Apathy.

    Once I finally realized that I’ve turned apathetic toward the world of comic books (actually, the industry itself, to be specific), I went through my options and went with what would be best for everyone involved. It wasn’t an easy decision to make and it has been something that I’ve been wrestling with for a couple of months. But, I’ve decided that a break from writing about the subject would be probably the best thing that I could do.

    But, dry those eyes; the end of this column doesn’t mean that I’ll be leaving this cyber plane any time in the near future. As time permits, I plan on still posting (albeit a little more frequently) on my official site and also on my page on MySpace. So, hopefully, you all can come by and say “Hi” when the urge strikes you.

    So, to put a black ribbon on this closing ceremony, let me send some gratitude to the following people/groups/organizations/etc.:

    To Mr. Kevin Smith ““ for sinking some of his vast fortune into a site that was a running gag in one of his movies just so schlubs like me can feel better about writing utter nonsense and have it treated like a respectable piece of quasi-journalism.

    To Ryall ““ the one who “made” me. Seriously, thanks for giving me the initial opportunity to come here to the bastard offspring of the View Askewinverse and to still keep in touch even as he’s beginning his second stage of dominating the comic book landscape (which will still be denied until his master plan removes variant covers from the face of the Earth).

    To Ming ““ for being rock solid and helping out whenever I asked a stupid question, which was more times than I care to remember.

    To UncaScroogeMcD ““ for keeping the home fires burning with QSE. Keep the faith, man.

    To the MPS/QSE board members (Ozchick, JJ, Fanny, JK, Zens, By-Tor, Robbo, TK, DbleA, Phit, Ratm, Bamms, RB, Jason B, and the gang) ““ thanks for welcoming me in without too many reservations and for allowing me to hang out on the best board on the Internets.

    To all of the pros (like Keith Giffen, Ross Ritchie from Boom Studios, Larry Young from AiT/Planet Lar, Wes Molebash, Steve Rolston, Chris Pitzer from AdHouse Books) that I’ve met through this column ““ thanks for the free merch and for the words of encouragement.

    To my lifers, Eddie C and Chet K ““ thanks for hanging in there when no one else did. I’ll always remember that.

    To the readers of Preachin’ from the Longbox ““ words can’t totally express the gratefulness that I have for each and everyone of y’all out there in the sea of the Net so I won’t even try other than say, “Thanks”.

    Finally, to my wife, Teresa, and my two kids, Brady and Chloe – being in my corner during this two-year, non-paying, stay-up-real-late-at-night run at being a pontificator of all things comics for a pop-culture website. Sure, it wasn’t all that easy. But not one of you voiced your complaints. Well, at least not about this stuff. I’ll make it up to you all. Promise.

    So, with all that being said, it’s time to close up shop and bid adieu for now. With a heavy sigh, here, for the last time at this residence, are my parting words:

    Don’t forget to keep your bags and boards together and your continuity straight.

    Hope to see you around,

    -britt

  • Nocturnal Admissions: Movie Review, The Departed, Part 3

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    I’ve probably said all I must say about The Departed, and should move on to Marie Antoinette, The Prestige, or Running with Scissors, but I happened to see the film again, at a terrific theater in Vancouver, Washington, called Cinetopia, and it inspired some further thoughts about the film. And also it’s a Martin Scorsese movie, AKA, one by “our “greatest living director,” which merits as much comment as possible. But I’ve been surprised at how cool my enthusiasm for the film has turned, and I’ve been intrigued by anti-Scorsese backlash articles, such as Tom Scocca’s in the New York Observer (not on line for free, but page 8 of the October 9 issue), in which he asserts that Scorsese is not really the grand old man of movies but rather more a master of scenes rather than the whole, and at David Bordwell’s blog and the response at Jim Emerson’s site. Bordwell maintains that The Departed is sloppily edited – and bear in mind that Scorsese started out as an editor. But all this commentary and a second viewing got me to thinking about it again, and that led to a series of unrelated observations. [By the way, the “errors” of continuity that Bordwell points out – a dancing desert, an appearing and disappearing can of beer – are on second viewing not errors at all. ]

    DeCaprio blue
  • Where does the title come from? There is a small card among the flora on Billy Costigan’s mother’s catafalque, saying “Heaven Holds the Faithful Departed.” The card is from Costello. I’m guessing that the title refers to how the dead hover over us and guide our present. But in general this movie is death obsessed, much more so than Infernal Affairs, wrongly accused by everyone from Ballhaus to the Nation‘s Stuart Klawans, who obviously hasn’t see it, of being crude, non-stop violence. That movie was about identity. This one is about playing parts. But in the face of death. I accused it originally of going “a body too far” in its climax, but that actually just a measure of Scorsese’s morbidity. The most famous exchange in the film is a guy saying to Costello that his mother is “on her way out,” with Costello replying, “We all are. Act accordingly.” Costello’s behaviour in the face of death is to act like a hedonistic nut.
    Matt
  • This is the gayest Scorsese film since Raging Bull. There are numerous gay subtext and sub-themes in the film, but the most obvious concerns the snazzily dressed Sullivan’s homophobia – impotence. He calls the members of the Boston firemen rugby team homos, can’t get it up with Madolyn Madden (why does Vera Farmiga almost always play characters with alliterative names: she was also Jocelyne Jordan in The Manchurian Candidate), and resents being mistaken for gay by the guy selling him a condo.
  • It may be that Sullivan is more interested in power than sex. I didn’t really follow why he was always looking at the gold Boston state house dome so covetously. But I read in a blog somewhere that it’s a measure of his ambition. Why stop at being a cop? Why not go all the way? DA (he’s taking night classes in law)? State senator? Governor? This aspect of his character isn’t fully fleshed out, however.
    Kiss
    • Sex
  • The first time I saw the film I was a little irked that they had condensed the two women in Infernal Affairs into one. Then, after the film opened, I read in Variety that to the surprise of Warner Bros., the film was tracking very well with women viewers. At that point I realized that this was probably a cunning move on the part of Scorsese and Monahan. What woman could resist identifying with a character who had both Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon fighting over her?
  • I’m baffled as to why Vera Farmiga has received such a drubbing from the reviewers. On one level she looks cute and professional in her three piece suit; at the other end of the scale, she does things with her part that I don’t feel like I’ve seen before, behavioral choices that seem fresh and original, the way Brando’s approach did in the 1950s. She veers from sternly professional and vulnerable, grappling with the differing pulls of honesty and the necessity to lie, which is one of the themes of the film. I feel that she is being terribly underrated.
  • Vera
  • This time around I noticed the red-lettered book Violence in the Streets on the shelf behind Madolyn’s desk. Should I be impressed with the attention to detail or dismayed at the obviousness (and blankness) of that plant?
  • Nicholson’s Costello is in the tradition of Scorsese characters who don’t communicate well. Think of the incoherent diner chats in  Taxi Driver, or the misunderstandings in  Mean Streets. No one ever really seems to understand what others are saying, and Costello confuses his auditors, who grow to think he is crazy.
  • I’ve read that Scorsese had to be convinced to make this movie, as he has so many others in the past. Plus, he reportedly hasn’t seen the source film. And the film is set in Boston rather than New York, and concerns Irish gangsters instead of Italians. Do these elements account for the patina of frostiness and lack of invention in the film?
  • The graveside scene at the end of the film is obviously influenced by a similar scene in The Third Man, which is a devastating judgment on a mediocre “good” man who has brought down a charismatic bad man. Costigan’s remark that his hand is steady no matter how tense he may be within is clearly influenced by a key moment in  The Godfather.
    Prison
  • The Departed is on the road to being Scorsese’s most popular film. Isn’t the reason obvious? It is chock full of stars whom people want to see, and the visual technique doesn’t get in the way of the story. It’s just stylish enough. With this film Scorsese has made almost half as many films with DiCaprio (three) as he did with the other “D,” De Niro (eight). You’d think that the younger actor would invigorate his films, but instead these newer films feel stuffed and embalmed, like the late films of Ford and Hitchcock. Still, the presence of DiCaprio brings audiences to see his films.All that being said, I still like The Departed.

  • Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/23/2006

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    The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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    • Want to hear Peter Gabriel sing like a Muppet? Sure you do… (Thingamabob)
    • OK, so I guess skateboarding and lightning don’t mix? (Thingamabob)
    • The golden age of YouTube as an almost Raiders-like warehouse of rare and obscure clips may be coming to an end, so grab what you can before it’s gone. (Thingamabob)
    • Here’s Michael J. Fox… And here’s hoping people think about what he’s saying. (Thingamabob)

    Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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  • Scrubs Blog: A Guided Tour

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    VIDEO BLOG #61 & #62: “A Guided Tour: Parts 1 & 2” ““
    The long-promised tour of the first floor of Sacred Heart Hospital has arrived! Your hosts for this tour are Production Designer Cabot McMullen & Art Director Susan Bolles, plus some guy named Rob Maschio (who we hear has a role on the show)…

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    Download Scrubs Video Blog #61:

    • Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 105 MB)
    • Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 45.6 MB)

    Download Scrubs Video Blog #62:

    • Large (560 x 420 – QuickTime – 103 MB)
    • Small (320 x 240 – QuickTime – 44 MB)

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  • Take Me Home Blog #13: Shingles and the American Dream

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    takemehome2006-10-20samcat2.jpgI SHOULD HAVE SHINGLES BY NOW.
    With ten days until we shoot, I’d like to take this opportunity to give myself a little pat on the back. You see, ordinarily my body would be rejecting such stress, forcing me into the hospital with a number of rare ailments found only in lab rats. Once, as I think I mentioned in an earlier blog, I got shingles while laboring over a screenplay. But not this time. Why? Because I have decided to pretend making a movie is fun.

    MAKING A MOVIE IS FUN.
    Or at least it can be with the right psychotherapist. That is, with the right outlook on this process, you TOO can avoid both a mental and a physical collapse. Example: rather than worry about something as trivial as whether or not you have insurance to cover the $20,000 worth of rented equipment, focus instead on the fact that you’ve already cast your film! OR, rather than worry about how to operate a camera you’ve never held in your life, focus on the fact that your storyboards look very pretty! See? It’s all in how you approach filmmaking. I myself have chosen to approach it with a sparkling delusion.

    TO BOLDLY GO WHERE aww, who the hell am I kidding?
    The one drawback of boldly making a film on your own is that you have to be bold throughout. You can’t get halfway in and pass off the duties to a studio exec. How are you in the process? Have you planned your film? Called your crew? Polished your script, and etched your storyboards? Or are you losing boldness by the pound? If doubt is ever going to creep in, it’s going to happen now.

    FRAILTY, THY NAME IS FILMMAKER
    To share from my own experience, the night before we shot Advantage Hart, I had a minor breakdown (and I say “minor” only to shield my feminine side). We were $6000 over budget for all of our equipment rentals, and facing the likelihood of shutting the picture down. Kate Bosworth and the rest of our talented cast had just left my house after an awkward rehearsal, and my co-writer/co-producer Mike Hobert and I were trying to make sense of our gluttonous budget. With our director Seibenick, our cinematographer Terrence Hayes, Mike and I all huddled in our make-shift office, I remember the idea of calling all 100 people involved to tell them the movie wasn’t happening. Have you ever gone into the dentist’s office for x-rays and they drape that thick, heavy bib over your chest? That’s what it felt like. I’m not ashamed to admit, I think I shed a few tears. “Just tell me we’re going to make a great film.”

    The next morning Mike and I called all of the rental houses and told them we couldn’t pay the price they were asking. In three hours we shaved that $6000 off our budget.

    AS AMERICAN AS APPLE PIE*
    What could be more American than filmmaking? Hollywood gets thrashed by the media for having corrupted our culture, but I think that’s unfounded. Filmmaking is about entrepeneurship; our fervent belief that we can make something out of absolutely nothing. We can make a sound stage look like a space station. We can make Orlando Bloom a Kentuckian. Even more, we can rise out of our social class. We can dream the impossible dream. Against enormous odds. With nothing but a few tools, a singular idea, and the will to see it through.

    *(Apple pie, by the way, is not American. It was invented in medieval times in europe and the recipes were brought over during colonialism. The fact that we’ve stolen and claimed it as our own simply makes it MORE American, doesn’t it?! Like that time we took that land from the Indians. What was that called? Oh yeah: “AMERICA”!!)

    ONWARD!!!
    So run out now and continue this bold pursuit. You have the American Dream to uphold, you see?! And if you have to steal locations… remember apple pie. If you have to steal dialogue from another film… remember apple pie. Should you find yourself in a make-shift office surrounded by your friends, shedding a tear for your dwindling aspirations, remember the soldiers of WWII who, when asked by reporters why they were going to war, often responded: “For mother and apple pie!!!”

    EPILOGUE
    On Sunday, Seibenick, Mike and I are getting together to whip up a film. In one day. Running around Los Angeles. By Monday, we’ll have a finished short. Possibly two. Just like we often did in highschool, when filmmaking was just a couple of kids pretending. Before it became something impractical: a math equation. A headache. When it was still a dream.

    -Sam Jaeger

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  • Ken P. D. Snyde-Cast #18: Flyover States

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    Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

    Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

    Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

    VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

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    KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #18: Flyover States – [adult swim]’s Dana Snyder and Ken Plume’s weekly chat podcast returns with a special guest, as Dana is trapped in the midwest with his good buddy Chip Duford in this special 2-part episode.

    [CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

    DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
    Episode #18 Part 1 (MP3 format)

    [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/snydecast/ken_p_d_snyde_cast-18pt1.mp3]

    Episode #18 Part 2 (MP3 format)

    [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/snydecast/ken_p_d_snyde_cast-18pt2.mp3]

    SUBSCRIBE
    Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

    Got something to say? E-mail Dana & Ken at the Snydecast mailbag.

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    CLICK HERE FOR THE SNYDECAST ARCHIVES

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  • Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 10/20/2006

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    The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

    ————————————————

    • Comedy impresarios Kasper-Hauser have a weekly podcast. Check it out. Now. (Thingamabob)
    • Take a tour of Jay Leno’s garage, and contemplate just how many vehicles one man can own? (Thingamabob)
    • Now THIS is how to time a jump just right (Thingamabob)
    • Before Jay Ward produced the adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle, he produced the very first cartoon for the boob tube, Crusader Rabbit. (Thingamabob)
    • Patrick Owsley produces the kind of art I’d like to hang on my wall… (Thingamabob)

    Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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