Author: UncaScroogeMcD

  • Preachin’ From The Longbox: Juss Don’t Believe The Hype

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    This week’s sermon – “Juss Don’t Believe The Hype”

    March 12, 2007

    For those of you who fell into a light coma, and have finally woken up, the “shocking” epilogue of Marvel’s Civil War, Captain America #25, was released this past Wednesday.

    Why is the significance of that issue, you ask? Other than the issue hitting the quarter-century mark, I mean, really doesn’t every issue hit that supposed milestone? (Well not the criminally shit-canned The Thing). Well, since you’ve lived this long without hearing about the news and normally, this would be considered a spoiler in some circles, I’ll let you avert your eyes and quickly click on some other link here at the Quick Stop.

    (Twiddles thumbs”¦)

    I hear that the recent “SModcast” podcast and “Game On” vidcast are quite good.

    (Looks at watch”¦)

    Alrightey then, time’s up.

    For those of you strong enough to stick around, the driving force behind Cap #25 is that:

    Captain America #25

    Cap gets CAPPED!

    Yup, he’s dead as a door nail – or, to use a more current comparison, as dead as Sanjaya’s chances for winning Idol. But don’t worry; he’ll get some work in the entertainment industry as El DeBarge in next year’s biopic, Gang Wars: DeBarge versus The Jets. Jennifer Hudson has shown the way – Hallelujah!

    Again, this latest revelation by Marvel is no big deal. Steve Rogers has been removed from the comic book scene more once in his storied continuity; most recently during the whole Heroes Reborn mess. (Although, he was really just put in a marble courtesy of Franklin Richards but that’s just semantics and bad plotting but let’s continue).

    There are bits of news coverage out there from the New York Daily News to the L.A. Times to Newsweek to the Colbert Report talking about the death and that’s well and good. I don’t see a problem with any comic company getting some good, juicy, tabloid-style press. With all of the other entertainment options other there right now, comics needs all of the help that it can get.

    However, my beef with this whole Captain America slaying thing isn’t the amount of press for Cap’s assassination. It’s something else which usually comes along with the hype that is completely familiar and horrifying at the same time. Let me illustrate:

    A certain iconic superhero died and it was hyped up in the news like it was a real death. It was plastered all over the place and you couldn’t escape people commenting about it for days. The “death” issue, with a variant cover, was sold out completely and the comic book publisher started to ship out second and third printings (with a different cover) to keep up with the demand.

    Comic shops were jacking up cover prices on that death issue as well as all of those back issues that contained any part of this storyline just as lapsing readers as well as non-comic book readers were driving in droves to buy these “special” comics; earmarking them as investments for their children.

    Then, after a few weeks, the buzz started to wane and the comic book publisher started a new all-encompassing story arc in a way to keep the attention going. After awhile, the buying masses started to see through the marketing ploy and the comics industry was looking at a real crisis ““ a failing business strategy where their readership was dwindling.

    That was, as you have probably guessed, the Death of Superman. The year was 1993, otherwise known as the beginning of the Decline of Western Comic Book Readership.

    Let’s cut to today. Comics survived the speculator nose dive and have built themselves back into a relatively thriving business with more Cons and bankable theatrical blockbusters left and right (Nic Cage’s Elvis-talking his way thought Ghost Rider was the latest in that trend). Also, their recent multi-title story arcs, Infinite Crisis and Civil War, were, for the most parts, hits.

    So, the people running the four-color “show” for the Big Two, so to speak, have gotten decidedly a little cocky. So, what is the first thing that they do with their newfound ignorance? Shocker; they forget their history and repeat 1993 all over again.

    Here are some telling excerpts from what I’ve read so far in some of the various published reports:

    ICv2 News ““ “One important issue is whether Marvel is able to get enough copies into the market to dampen speculation. If the news becomes ‘look what this comic from last week/month is worth’ instead of ‘look at this cool storyline in Marvel comics,’ look out.” (PftL – Here, here. Well said.)

    New York Daily News – “‘I was shocked. I was not expecting it,’ said Gerry Gladston, co-owner of Midtown Comics in Manhattan. ‘I’d rather they didn’t kill him – but it’s going to mean great sales.’” (PftL – Oy vey. Déjà vu, anyone?)

    In case you were wondering, Mr. Gladston was not joking. Chop Socky - Chris Simon

    The secondary market for this issue is seeing some very questionable on-line retailers marking the issue up by almost 650% over the cover price while eBay, the arbiter of gauging at its finest, has more than one auction with the two covers for a starting bid of $2000. Two large for an overprinted comic book that will be collected in six months and retconned within a year? Are you kidding me? Am I the only one getting sick from a case of the (Re)runs?

    Ya know, the first thing that comes around a rotting corpse is a vulture and the equivalent of this nasty animal in the comics industry is speculators. They are a group of people most foul. Not to get too pious (yeah right) but these profiteers not only reduce comics into a poor man’s form of day trading but they also take away the essence of comics and turn it from a intimate medium to tell a story into a sterile, slabbed commodity. This practice makes me so sick I feel like Simonizing someone.

    I’m sure that the “Cap Death” and subsequent “Fallen Soldier” story arcs will be finely told tales and people will buy them en masse. I’m just worried what will happen to the comics industry after all of the buzz has died once again and the shop owners are left with millions of funny books and mounting issues of their own.

    -britt

  • Noctural Admissions: Movie Review – Zodiac

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    David Fincher’s Zodiac (from a script by James Vanderbilt adapted from Robert Graysmith’s intimate true life account) begins on the fourth of July in 1969 at the height of the hippie era. As fireworks explode over the bay, a young woman namded Darlene Ferrin (Ciara Hughes ) cruises along a packed suburban street, pulling up at a nondescript house. She invites a youth named Michael Mageau (Lee Norris) into her car and the pair drive off to eat. But the drive in being full up, she quickly changes her mind, and they end up at the Blue Rock Springs Golf Course, where there is a lover’s lane.

    Zodiac Matt

    The youth is callow and awkward, and doesn’t seem to be aware that Darlene is seeking sex, or at least a make out session. Their banter is interrupted by the ominous growl of a car, one that hovers nearby and then pulls away. Darlene seems to know the driver. But she won’t admit as much to Mageau. Then the car comes back quickly. The driver gets out, comes over to the passenger’s side, and opens fire on the occupants.

    Though on the surface rather routine sounding, this is a very interesting scene and it is an interesting way to open a film about the notorious and uncaught serial killer, America’s Jack the Ripper. For one thing, this wasn’t the Zodiac killer’s first attack. Fincher could just as easily have started off his film with the Lake Herman Road double murder the previous December, as does Alexander Bulkley in his 2005 knock off film The Zodiac, with Justin Chambers and Robin Tunney, which also shows the impact of the Zodiac’s crimes on those who hunted him.

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    In fact, there are numerous coincidences between the two films. Both star Philip Baker Hall, as a police chief in The Zodiac and as a handwriting expert in Zodiac. Both films shoot mostly in the case’s actual locations. Both are about how obsession destroys the good, and both feature similar dialogue in the Zodiac’s third attack, in broad daylight at Lake Berryessa in September 1969, where the Zodiac wore a scary black hood.

    One significant difference is that Fincher and his collaborators extend a great deal of attention on the personalities of the victims, communicating quite a bit about them in a short screen time. Which brings us back to the opening scene. As an aggressive, sexual creature, Darlene is an unusual figure in Fincher’s movies – but not his videos (has anyone else noticed her similarity to Madonna?). She is also a person whose past, her recent past, catches up with her quickly, as we learn near the end of the movie when the Zodiac’s connection with Darlene is revealed (here is a long footnote: it’s been a long time since I’ve read Graysmith’s book and its sequel, but is it possible that there was no actual Zodiac, that the reason the cases are so different from each other is that they were in fact acts of passion committed by different people? The only thing I remember really tying Zodiac to one of the crimes was the fact that he clipped off parts of a cabbie’s blood stained shirt. Is it possible that Zodiac was s a cop, writing the letters and posing as the killer in order to make some kind of point or toy with his co-workers? Also, as Robert Downey, Jr.’s character says in the movie, the Zodiac was a liar, taking credit for things he couldn’t have done; but again, I haven’t kept up with the book, and the suspect that Graysmith came up with is probably really the guy).

    Zodiac Bob

    Fincher probably remembers aspects of the real case from his childhood, but he doesn’t seem necessarily interested in the case as a nostalgic tour. Instead, it is another exercise in failed mentorship, a theme that appears in most of his films. Cartoonist Robert Graysmith (Jake Gyllenhaal) is as young and callow as the film’s first victim, but he is already divorced and is a single father. He goes through one mentor who fails him, Downey’s Paul Avery, the Chronicle reporter who covered the case, and then another, Mark Ruffalo’s Inspector David Toschi (the real life cop who inspired Bullitt). Graysmith, who in the film has the enthusiasm of a boy scout and is thus referred to by others (though he says he was an Eagle Scout, and he acts with the pushy enthusiasm of Robert Cummings’s character in Dial M for Murder), cracks the case, but, as with the others, at great cost, in his case at the expense of his marriage.

    Zodiac road

    Harry Savides’s camerawork throughout the film is remarkable (but I assume that Fincher is the type of director who collaborates with a DP closely). It doesn’t just honor films from the ’70s – it is one. And several of the shots will go down in film history, such as the overhead shot of a cab going through San Francisco, with the camera moving above in sync as if the car were the planchette on a Ouija Board.

    In fact, this is a movie “about” cars. They figure in almost every scene. They are the setting of almost every murder. Many of the film’s character building moments occur in cars, at least with Toschi.

    Zodiac Jake

    Some film buffs have raised the question of whether the film, in its final moments, backs off from the “knowability” of the Zodiac’s final identity, even though in the real world Graysmith is convinced of it. There is a small measure of ambiguity in the film’s final images. But Zodiac isn’t like a Friedkin movie, such as French Connection or Cruising, in which the director strives for a larger epistemological strata. Zodiac does create ambiguity by having different people “play” the Zodiac. A different person from the prime suspect voices the Zodiac at the Lake Berryessa killing. Another puzzling image connected with this sequence is this: who is the guy sitting in his pick up truck obviously in mental anguish? He doesn’t look like the guy who later turns out to be the prime suspect.

    Zodiac Chloe

    No, the real mystery in the film is Graysmith’s motivation. “Bob, you look disappointed,” Avery says at Graysmith’s reaction to another dead end clue. What is the source of Graysmith’s immediate and almost visceral attraction to the case? The film is officially mute on the subject, although there is the odd, stray dialogue on the subject, such as when Graysmith is talking to his wife (played by the great Chloe Sevigny, who, with her long hair and bookish glasses embodies just the type of girl everyone got a crush on back in the ’70s).

    Zodiac zero

    In this film, Fincher is a master of transitions, be it the sound of traffic that leaps years, or the subtle placement of movie posters (one of them for Edward G. Robinson’s Warner film Illegal) in Graysmith’s apartment just before he encounters one Bob Vaughn, a silent movie theater employee who might be able to give him a lead. Movies permeate the film. Zodiac himself is a movie buff and there were numerous movie references in his letters. Fincher even honors Val Lewton with a “bus,” the sudden appearance of Vaughn sliding into view in a mirror. And it turns out, which is something I didn’t know and couldn’t even guess at, that the Zodiac symbol might have come from the countdown leader on a film strip. In its weird, perverse way, Zodiac is testimony to he embedded influence of movies and moviemakers on our lives.

  • QSE News: 3/12/2007

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    Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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    • The scantily clad Spartan film 300 was number one at the box office this weekend after grossing more than $70 million. In addition to setting a March opening-day box-office record, the film also succeeded in confusing the sexual identity of more than two million adolescent males.
    • Maggie Gyllenhaal has been selected to replace Katie Holmes as the character Rachel Dawes in next Batman film. Gyllenhaal’s co-stars in the film are said to be excited by the opportunity to work with an actress whose husband isn’t keeping her locked in a basement.
    • It appears the real reason the Van Halen reunion tour was called off is because Eddie Van Halen is entering rehab for undisclosed reasons. This announcement may go down as the biggest shock in music news history. And by biggest, we mean totally expected.
    • France is getting set to release a set of stamps showcasing the characters of the Harry Potter book and film series.  French officials are insisting that the stamps are an honor and not merely a roundabout way of licking Harry and his friends’ backside. And by backside we mean butt.
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    That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

    (Compiled by J. Allen)

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  • Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/12/2007

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    The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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    • How To Succeed In Film Festivals… Wihout Really Trying… (Thingamabob)
    • I may be American, but I can’t tell you how giddy I am that my favorite MP of all, Boris Johnson, has a website… The man is like a human Muppet… (Thingamabob)
    • Don’t believe me? Check him out in this segment from one of his guest-hosting stints on Have I Got News For You(Thingamabob)
    • Ren Faires and monster trucking – a match made in heaven… (Thingamabob)

    Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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  • Scrubs Blog: My Big Picture Show

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    BLOG ALBUM: “My Big Picture Show” ““
    Things are getting crazy busy around the Scrubs offices as the shooting season rapidly comes to a close, so we thought we’d take a little time this week for a picture album look around Sacred Heart’s sets and environs (all photos by Brian Davison)…

    [ CLICK THE PICS FOR A LARGER VERSION ]

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  • The Fred Hembeck Show: Episode 95 – Marvel Busts A Cap

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    Hembeck.com – free of radioactive sperm for over four years now – and we aim to keep it that way!!

    -Copyright 2007 Fred Hembeck

  • Ken P. D. Snyde-Cast #26: The Bunny Hop

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    Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and FRED’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

    Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

    Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at FRED. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

    VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

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    KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #26: The Bunny Hop – [adult swim]’s Dana Snyder and Ken Plume’s weekly chat podcast returns, as Ken & Dana discuss listener mail, find out how much Dana would charge to watch cartoons with his fans at the Bunny Ranch, and go through some recent actory additions to Dana’s record collection…

    [CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

    DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
    Episode #26 (MP3 format)

    [audio:http://traffic.libsyn.com/snydecast/ken_p_d_snyde_cast-26.mp3]

    SUBSCRIBE
    Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

    Got something to say? E-mail Dana & Ken at the Snydecast mailbag.

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    CLICK HERE FOR THE SNYDECAST ARCHIVES

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  • Keneteph’s Korner: The Real (Emcee) Juice

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    The Real (Emcee) Juice

    keneteph2007-03-09-01.jpgMany don’t know about a phenomenal emcee by out of Chicago by the name of Juice. This is not to be confused with DJ Ju-Ice out of Jersey, or any other rappers (like the one Game signed), with the same name. THIS Juice has established himself as one of the best freestyle lyricists in HipHop. He has beaten mainstream rappers Common, and even Eminem in a 1997 battle called The Scribble Jam. Both rappers have publicly admitted to being defeated by Juice in battles. He has also been featured on Sway and King Tech’s Wake Up Show in Los Angeles, and has constantly impressed them with his freestyle skills.

    Despite his success he is not signed to a major label, but because of his own determination to advance HipHop, he continues to make lyrical innovations and stretch his abilities. On the path of a lyricist, he’s also had to prove himself to HipHop fans and artists alike, who have doubted his skills and said his freestyles were pre-written. He always shows and proves, but is now focusing on putting songs together, instead of freestyling. He released a full length CD of songs called All Bets Off in 2005. Explaining when he decided to start writing, Juice said, “I realized when it came to rap, artists who are good at freestyling usually aren’t good at writing lyrics, and artists who write songs can’t freestyle worth a shit. Even though I was accused of writing my freestyles, I actually wanted to master song writing and put concepts together.”

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    keneteph2007-03-09-02.jpgThe independent artist has his own label, Conglomerate Music Corp, and has formed his own group, called Juice and the Machine. The Machine is made up of various musicians who play his tracks live. They have a CD out from a live show they did at a club called The Party, which comes with a DVD of the same show. The Live from the Party CD/DVD is put together by Bandit Productions and The Conglomerate Music Corp., and is SLAMMING!!! Juice and the Machine bring out how HipHop should sound. It’s a mixture of songs and freestyles, and when Juice freestyles, it’s like the band freestyles with him in musical melody. I was even more impressed when I found out the band only practiced twice before the show!! Juice said he formed a band to further establish himself as an artist. “People seem to see you as more credible and take to you more if you have a live band with you. I got fans who say they don’t like Rap, but like my music because of the universal appeal.” The CD/DVD can be purchased on the Bandit Productions website.

    Juice says his main goal with his music is to stay successful as an independent artist, and break a few stereotypes some fans have about underground artists. “Just because an artist is underground, doesn’t mean they can’t be well off. Some fans think if an artist is well off and not struggling, it means they’ve lost their underground musical flair. That’s not the case at all – actually a lot of underground cats are more well off and have more money in their pocket than some of these mainstream artists who claim to have money.”

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    QUICK STOP EXCLUSIVE: For those who would like to hear Juice’s freestyle skills, we have two freestyles he did for Quick Stop Entertainment. The first one he did after I gave him three phrases to put in the verse; “Kenneth Plume,” “Kevin Smith,” and “Quick Stop Entertainment.” Due to my shitty phone connection he thought I said “Quick South,” but I’m sure you’ll forgive him. This is the freestyle he left on my voice mail after we hung up.

    DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
    Juice Freestyle #1 (MP3 format) ““ 1 MB

    The second is actually a freestyle interview. This is the first of its kind, where I asked Juice five questions – he had no idea I would ask beforehand, then he freestyled the answers. Now, you got a distinction from other rappers who call themselves “Juice” and “The Real Juice” – kind of like how back in the day there was the Ghostbusters cartoon, then another copy cat cartoon came out, so the first Ghostbusters cartoon changed it’s name to The Real Ghostbusters.

    DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
    Juice Freestyle #2 (MP3 format) ““ 9.94 MB

    Quick Stop Entertainment’s always bringing the good shit for that iPod!!

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    Copyright 2007 Keneteph Entertainment

  • Weekend Shopping Guide 3/9/07: Make Sexy Time In Closet

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    The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide – your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

    Anyone who thought that South Park was even close to running out of steam as it entered its 9th season (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP) need only look at the now-infamous – and very, very funny – episode “Trapped In A Closet,” which managed to not only eviscerate Tom Cruise, but also Scientology and R. Kelly in one all-too-brief 20 minute span. Add in their equally damning take on the Terry Schiavo affair along with more light-hearted episodes (Wing, anyone?) and you have a show that’s still firing on all cylinders. The 3-disc set features all 14 episodes, plus mini-commentaries from Trey Parker & Matt Stone.

     

    So, for months now, everyone has been speaking of Borat (Fox, Rated R, DVD-$29.99 SRP) as if it is the second coming of comedy – a brilliant, hysterical look at America through the eyes, and actions, of a simple, racist Kazakh journalist named Borat Sagdiyev. Does it live up to all the hype? Mostly, yes. Sacha Baron Cohen’s turn as our unwashed journo is as immersive and convincing as anything Andy Kaufman or Peter Sellers ever did, and the situations he finds himself in are incredibly funny, if cringe-worthy on so very many levels. For some reason, though, Fox has gone relatively half-assed on the bonus materials, with only deleted scenes, a PR featurette, and a music infomercial – no commentary or documentary, and you just know there are more deleted scenes out there. Do I smell a double-dip?

     

    It’s always a bit revelatory to go back and watch the first season of a show which spawned a time-honored pop culture catchphrase, to see what the tone was like before it became a hit and changed in style, as all successful shows inevitably do. Watching the first season of Hawaii Five-O (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP) is no different, and what you’ll find – before everyone knew the phrase, “Book ’em, Danno” – was a relatively intense police action-drama starring Jack Lord as Detective Steve McGarrett, who was always hot on the trail of Red Chinese crime boss Wo Fat. The 7-disc collection features all 24 episodes, plus a special edition of Hawaiian show Emmie’s Island Moments focusing on Five-O, with cast crew interviews and a tribute to Jack Lord.

     

    As part of the now-routine revisiting of previously released catalogue titles, the little Brit-Com that could is getting a much-needed overhaul via the new 2-disc “Fully Exposed Edition” of The Full Monty (Fox, Rated R, DVD-$19.98 SRP). In addition to a fully remastered, anamorphic print, you get audio commentaries, deleted scenes, original cast interviews, 10 retrospective featurettes, TV spots, and more. Is it worth it? You betcha.

     

     

    Expanding their library of themed remastered catalogue releases, Warner Bros. has packaged together 5 fine adaptations into the Literary Classics Collection (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP). The five classics in question are Prisoner of Zenda (which contains both the 1937 & 1952 versions), Billy Budd, Madame Bovary, Captain Horatio Hornblower, and The Three Musketeers. While Billy Budd features an audio commentary (with Terence Stamp and Steven Soderbergh) and the theatrical trailer, the remaining flicks feature a complement of vintage shorts, cartoons, trailers, and audio features. Warners continues to be the tops in the treatment of their catalogue, and here’s hoping there’s no end in sight.

     

    As with previous Disney revisitations of their classic catalogue for special edition DVD release, the real draw of the new 2-disc edition of Peter Pan (Walt Disney, Rated G, DVD-$29.99 SRP) is the stunning restoration job, which makes the picture and restored soundtrack incredibly pristine. Bonus features include a never-before seen alternate opening, deleted songs, a making-of featurette, 1952’s The Peter Pan Story promotional piece, and a newly-discovered segment of Walt discussing why he made the film. The set is padded out with the usual allotment of Disney DVD garbage like tacky music videos and previews for abysmal sequels, but at least we have a beautiful presentation of the film itself.

     

    It disappeared from theaters faster than you could say Ronnie James Dio, but there’s a lot to enjoy in Tenacious D’s flawed big screen adventure, The Pick of Destiny (New Line, Rated R, DVD-$27.98 SRP). The film charts the mythical creation of the D, as a young JB (Jack Black) – child of a repressive father (Meat Loaf) who doesn’t comprehend his hard rock dreams – runs off into the night, eventually to hook up with guitarist KG (Kyle Gass). Success eludes them, but then they learn of the existence of an all-powerful talisman – the Pick of Destiny – which eventually leads them to the Devil himself. It’s a fun romp, even if it’s not the classic I was hoping for. Bonus features include deleted/extended scenes, an alternate ending, outtakes, behind-the-scenes featurettes, a music video, and more.

     

    I’ve sung the praises of Electric Tiki‘s Teeny Weeny Mini maquette line in the past, and I’ll continue to do so as long as the continue to produce positively amazing pieces like their Underdog maquette ($69.99). Kudos to Tracy Mark Lee and his team, and I simply can’t wait to see what they have planned in the future. How about a Tooned Up version of the NewsRadio cast? Or Stephen Colbert?

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    Yes, I am a card-carrying member of the Nintendo Power generation. I had my subscription to the magazine, I bought tickets to see The Wizard on order to catch a glimpse at the forthcoming Super Mario Bros. 3, and I watched the Saturday morning cartoons, including the animated Mario and Zelda (which were a far sight better than the QBert series). The only series missing was Captain N: The Game Master, and that’s been rectified with a release of the complete series (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$34.98 SRP). If you don’t remember the series, it featured the tried and true premise of a teen being whisked to a mythical kingdom – in this, it’s Videoland – in order to save its peace-loving denizens from evil forces, in this case led by Metroid‘s evil Mother Brain. The teen savior of Videoland is Kevin Keene, and he’s teamed with “The N-Team” – Castlevania‘s Simon Belmont, Mega Man, Kid Icarus, Princess Lana, and a dog. There always has to be a dog. The 4-disc set features all 26 episodes, plus the original Nintendo Power “Captain Nintendo” story, concept art, and character bios.

     

    Manly men cinephiles will delight in the release of Fox’s 5-flick Ernest Hemingway Film Collection (Fox, Not Rated, DVD-$69.98 SRP), collecting in one set A Farewell To Arms, Hemingway’s Adventures Of A Young Man, The Snows of Kilimanjaro, The Sun Also Rises, and Under My Skin. While there are no bonus features on A Call To Arms, the other four films get audio commentaries, interviews, retrospective featurettes, restoration comparisons, trailers, and more.

     

     

    And on the subject of catalogue classics from Fox, they’ve dipped into the vaults for a trio of 70’s era flicks that are worth a spin or two – James Caan & Eli Wallach in Cinderella Liberty, Dustin Hoffman & Mia Farrow in John and Mary, and Susan Sarandon in The Other Side of Midnight (Fox, Rated R/PG/R, DVD-$19.98 SRP each). Bonus features include audio commentaries on Midnight and Liberty, and behind-the-scenes featurettes on John and Mary.

     

    It’s unfortunate that such a brilliant and loveable series had to burn itself out so quickly due to behind-the-scenes tussles and the clarion call of approaching superstardom, but at least we can look back at the complete run of that beloved series with the long-awaited release of the fifth and final season of Moonlighting (Lionsgate, Not Rated, DVD-$29.98 SRP). The 3-disc set features all 13 episodes, plus audio commentaries on select episodes and original screen tests.

     

     

    As stand-up comics go, Zach Galifianakis is not your average comedian. Look no further than his first DVD – Zach Galifianakis: Live At The Purple Onion (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP) – for proof of that assessment, as he alternates between sublime subtlety and even more sublime heights of fury… Yes, fury. And there’s a piano. Honestly, just buy the DVD and check out one of the most unique performers out there. Bonus materials include outtakes, a shaving featurette, and more.

     

     

    I still can’t shake the feeling that a documentary based on Eric Schlosser’s devastating expose of the fast food industry, Fast Food Nation, would have been far more effective and damning than Richard Linklater’s fictionalized big screen adaptation. Maybe that’s because, as a film, Fast Food Nation (Fox, Rated R, DVD-$27.98 SRP) allows for a certain measure of disconnect – there must be some kind of exaggeration, right? I mean, it’s a film, so it can’t all be 100% real. Despite the fact that many of the stories come straight out of Schlosser’s book, it just doesn’t hit with the sledgehammer it should. Bonus features include an audio commentary, a behind-the-scenes featurette, animations, and a photo gallery.

     

    Like the two slovenly men it revolves around, the American version of the Britcom hit Men Behaving Badly (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$34.98 SRP) was a likeable lunk of a show, but not nearly as smartly written or acted as the original. For that reason, the story of best friends & roommates Kevin & Jamie (Ron Eldard & Rob Schneider) was sort-lived on this side of the pond. Now you can get all 35 episodes (7 of which never aired during its network run) in one 4-disc set and judge for yourself.

     

    Want a fun, eminently groovy read this weekend? Check out The Encyclopedia of Sixties Cool (Santa Monica Press, $24.95 SRP), which has entries on everything from Woodstock and Lenny Bruce to Terry Southern and the Ford Mustang.

     

     

     

    It’s always a disappointment when a spin-off of a beloved show doesn’t give you the same kind of buzz as the original, and sadly, such is the case with Stargate: Atlantis (MGM/UA, Not Rated, DVD-$49.98 SRP). Maybe it’s because it suffers from many of the same problems as Star Trek‘s less-than-successful spin-off Voyager, both of which found our heroes isolated in a distant corner of the galaxy and largely trying to find their way home. The second season of Atlantis was an improvement, though, and paved the way for a much more dynamic third season. The 5-disc box set features all 20 episodes, plus audio commentaries, featurettes, photo galleries, and more.

     

    Who knew that the 80’s – the decade of greed, good looks, and whiter than white teeth – would also spawn so celebratory a geek fest as Revenge of the Nerds? It’s no Citizen Kane, mind you, but the original film is still a rah-rah pic for anyone that’s ever felt the outsider, and that cinematic “legacy” is celebrated in the 4-disc Revenge of the Nerds: Atomic Wedgie Collection (Fox, Rated R/PG-13/NR, DVD-$29.99 SRP), which features the first two theatrical Nerds, as well as the latter-day direct-to-video adventures. The original film even gets a brand new audio commentary (with director Jeff Kanew and actors Robert Carradine, Timothy Busfield, and Curtis Armstrong), deleted scenes, a retrospective featurette, and even the Revenge of the Nerds television pilot.

     

    Being quite a bit older than the then-tweener audience that had made Melissa Joan Hart a star as the Disney Channel’s all-explaining Clarissa, my main reason for tuning in to the first season of Sabrina The Teenage Witch (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$38.99 SRP) was based entirely on my affection for Mystery Science Theater 3000. You may not know, but during the inaugural season of Sabrina’s magical high school adventures, on set “practical” magic effects were done by Joel Hodgson, creator and former host of MST3K. Oh, and the great Paul Feig (creator of Freaks & Geeks) played her science teacher, Mr. Pool. This 4-disc box set features all 24 first season episodes, but no extras to speak of.

    So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

    -Ken Plume

    ##
  • QSE News: 3/9/2007

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    Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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    • Representatives for the estate of former Queen singer Freddie Mercury have sent a cease and desist order to NECA toys, barring the release of a new Mercury action figure.  According to the order, the figure was never approved and is therefore unauthorized.  When asked for comment about what was wrong with the figure, an insider stated that the toy “just didn’t have that certain, what’s the word, happiness?  No, that’s not the word…”
    • John Popper, lead singer/harmonica player for Blues Traveler, was arrested after Washington State Patrol clocked him going 111 mph in his Mercedes SUV. After searching the vehicle, officers found a large supply of weapons and a small amount of marijuana. When asked about the drugs, Popper stated that it’s “medicinal” and part of his weight loss plan.  When quizzed about the weapons, Popper responded simply, “This isn’t over, Dave Matthews. You know what you did and I’m coming for you.”
    • Disney announced yesterday that production has begun at Pixar on Toy Story 3.  Michael Arndt, who just won an Academy Award for his screenplay to Little Miss Sunshine, is penning the script.  According to Arndt, his “totally original” story is going to center on “Woody and Buzz heading to California so Buzz can be in a talent show.  However, along the way, Woody dies, right?  He ODs or something. So they have to tape him to the back of that little [EXPLETIVE DELETED] car with eyes and drive around with him.”
    • Three hundred fans of pop singer Michael Jackson paid $3,400 each in order to hang out with the reclusive superstar for one special night in Japan.  During the engagement, Jackson talked to the fans and took pictures, but did not sing or dance.  Insiders report that Jackson refused to do any of his “A” material when he found out the event had a 16 and over age limit.
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    That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

    (Compiled by J. Allen)

    ##

  • Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/9/2007

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    The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

    ————————————————

    • A song for anyone out there whose parents just don’t understand them… (Thingamabob)
    • Toss and turn your way over to the first episode of Can’t Sleep With Dave Foley… (Thingamabob)
    • Geena Davis talks of the somewhat limited roles of women in kid’s cartoons… (Thingamabob)

    Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

    ##

  • A Plea From Terry Gilliam (or “Who put the “˜Think’ in ThinkFilm?”)

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    tideland-01.jpgAs you should know, Terry Gilliam’s Tideland was just released on DVD in the US, Canada, and the UK.

    If you live in the UK, everything’s fine ““ you have an absolutely perfect copy of the film, presented as Terry intended..

    However, if you’ve purchased a Region 1 copy of Tideland, you’re not getting everything that Gilliam intended. While the bonus materials are all hunky-dory, the film itself is presented in an incorrect aspect ratio. While the theatrical aspect ratio was 2.35:1 and the UK disc was released at 2.25:1, the Region 1 release is 1.78:1.

    Here’s what Terry himself had to say about the situation, courtesy of Phil Stubbs’s Dreams website:

    “I mastered the DVD and decided that opening it up a bit vertically from the strict 2.35 looked better on the small screen. It’s probably about 2.25. It is the choice of the director. Tell the fans to relax. I prefer it this way.”

    So while that is the way it was presented on Revolver’s UK DVD release, such is not the case with ThinkFilm’s 1.78:1 disc.

    Initially, Terry believed that the Canadian release was correct, and sent this note into the Dreams site:

    “I think we have to get the word out NOT TO BUY the American version of the DVD. The Canadian version is correct. It’s Region 1… so Americans can see the film as intended” but, sadly, Mr. Gilliam had been deceived about the US release and may yet be wrong about the Canadian one. Is there ANYBODY out there who can confirm without a shadow of a doubt that the Canadian release is in the correct 2.25:1 aspect ratio?”

    Unfortunately, the Canadian release is presented in exactly the same incorrect ratio as ThinkFilm’s US release.

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    After discovering this, Terry has sent us a follow-up”¦

    “I’m embarrassed! Having been assured that the Canadian DVD was the correct format, I now discover I was completely misled.

    What was I thinking? Why hadn’t I jumped a plane and flown to Toronto to buy a Tideland DVD on the 1st day of sales? I would have known the truth before opening my big mouth. What a fool!!! I can begin to see why Stanley Kubrick went a bit whacko trying to keep an eye on every print of his films in every far-flung corner of the globe… and he had a full-time guy doing the legwork.

    Any volunteers?

    What I recommend for all the owners of the North American Tideland DVD is to get a roll of wide black tape… sorry, before you do that, go out and buy a dozen more copies of the DVDs and pass them out to your friends, then… pause the disc at the Capri Films logo when it flares out into a blue sky. What you see is the correct proportion of 2.35:1. Then, unrolling the tape, mask off the black areas on the
    screen above and below. If you want to leave a little bit more space top and bottom of the logo you will end up with the UK proportion. Then you should just sit back and enjoy. All the information left to right is there. There was no panning and scanning. Just stupidity.

    -Terry

    p.s. Check next day to see how many of your friends will still look you in the eye. They are the people you should be spending time with. Fuck the others!”

    So there you have it, straight from the man himself. Will ThinkFilm release a corrected version? We can only hope”¦ Though I’m not exactly holding my breath.

    ##

  • The Fred Hembeck Show: Episode 94 – What Would Charlie Droople Do?

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    This week’s episode of “The Fred Hembeck Show” is a thrill-packed sequel to our 90th edition, the one featuring “The Massacre of the Innocents”. You might recall that I identified that long-lost, highly idiosyncratic tale, as being one of three that I can’t help but look back on as extremely influential in shaping my own oddball approach to cartooning.

    Well, friends, today we have a second neglected gem to share with you, one that actually appeared several years earlier than our previous offering. Released in late 1967, “The Best of All Possible Worlds” was NOT the subject of this memorable Rocke Mastroserio scenario (based, no doubt, on a striking layout provided him by editor/art director Dick Giordano) gracing the cover of the January, 1968 issue of Charlton’s The Many Ghosts of Dr. Graves (number five, for those of you scoring along at home…), but trust me, it was in there…

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    (Oh, and if that cover looks a wee bit familiar to some of you and you’re not quite sure why, I should point out that it was prominently displayed in a Charlton Comics house ad found in all the line’s titles, right alongside Steve Ditko’s cover for Blue Beetle #6, the issue that famously never actually came out! In fact, you can find that very advertisement tucked inside the pages of Dr. Graves #5 itself, which offers the paying customer a curious – and unique – choice: “Hey kid, wanna buy ANOTHER copy of a comic ya already have, or wouldja prefer the one we’re never gonna publish? Yer choice…”)

    The eight-page story – written by Steve Skeates and drawn (as well as lettered) by Jim Aparo – cleverly plays around with various comic book conventions, not merely breaking the fourth wall along the way, but downright demolishing it in the process! Both separately and in tandem, Skeates and Aparo did a lot of fine work in their respective careers (including a memorable run on Aquaman, one that allowed me, for the ONLY time in my entire life, to honestly utter the words, “Gee, I can’t wait until the next issue of Aquaman comes out!”….), but the strange saga of Charlie Droople remains my all-time favorite by the pair to this day.

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    Now, I don’t want to say much more about the story in question for two reasons. Firstly, I’d like you to read it for yourselves (yes, this entire sentence serves as the handy-dandy link), fresh, and without too much of it being given away. Secondly, I’ve already HAD my say on “The Best of All Possible Worlds” – y’see, several years back, I contributed a Dateline:@#$% strip focusing on it to a Charlton-centric issue of Comic Book Artist (Hey, remember Comic Book Artist, folks? Gee, whatever became of that fine publication anyway?…). When you get to the eighth and final page of the Skeates/Aparo opus, you’ll find a link to my strip at the bottom, and – should you be in any way interested – THAT would be the proper time to check out my thoughts (but NOT before – read the real thing first, cuz that’s the main attraction here, okay?…).

    So, go! Enjoy! And afterwards, ask yourself – would I make the same choices as Charlie Droople?

    I did, and look what it got me: Hembeck.com! Please come visit – I get SO lonely sometimes…

    -Copyright 2007 Fred Hembeck

  • Music For The Masses: 3/8/07

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    Hello again, everybody, and welcome back to “Music for the Masses.” This week, because I know you love them more than Rosie O’Donnell loves to buckle up for love, I’m dishing up another one of them thar’ podcast “thingies.” But don’t worry, folks, if your internet connection sucks harder than Antonella “There’s a Party In My Mouth And EVERYONE’S Comin” Barba, you can still join in the festivities. More on that in a sec because now… IT’S PODCAST TIME!!!!

    [CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast, much like its written counterpart, contains foul language, foolish notions, loads of “hooker” talk, a “Dirty Sanchez” reference and horribly off-color jokes. Please enjoy responsible and know when to say when.

    DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
    Music For The Masses: Episode 4 (MP3 format) ““ 25.43 MB

    Okay, for those of you reading along at home, here’s the M4M podcast short tour…

    hooker 3-8-07

    Not 100% positive, but I think that’s my old Sunday School teacher.

    Up first, I mediate a debate between Double A and J. Allen over “which song is the best to bang a hooker to.” Honestly, considering how well I know these guys, I’m just glad they didn’t debate “the best song to BURY a hooker to.” Good fun is had by all and much frivolity ensues.

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    Then, after careful consideration, some “pointless” rambling and a brief discussion of Screetch’s donkey dork and his propensity for “wiping doody under noses,” we FINALLY get around to offering up our opinions on some new music. This week, we (meaning me and those other two clowns) focus our attentions on the new discs from Arcade Fire, Explosions in the Sky and the tongue-twisting Au Revoir Simone. Here’s the ratings:

    arcade 3-8-07

    Artist: Arcade Fire

    Album: Neon Bible

    Sounds Like: Somebody needs to pop a couple o’ Prozacs©, find their “happy place” and turn their frowns upside down.

    Rating:

    hung4 3-7-08

    sky 3-8-07

    Artist: Explosions in the Sky (www.myspace.com/texasband )

    Album: All Of A Sudden I Miss Everyone

    Sounds Like: The internal soundtrack now playing in the heads of all of the football players I went to high school with… as they mow my lawn.

    Rating:

    hung3 3-8-07

    simone 3-8-07

    Artist: Au Revoir Simone (www.myspace.com/aurevoirsimone)

    Album: The Bird of Music

    Sounds Like: The music that would be playing just before Chris Hanson walks into the kitchen and you realize you are one, fucked pervert… umm, no pun intended.

    Rating:

    hung4 3-7-08

    UPCOMING MUSIC RELEASES… 3/13/07:

    ARTIST TITLE GENRE
    Amy Winehouse Back To Black ALT
    James Morrison Undiscovered POP / ROCK
    Rich Boy Rich Boy RAP
    Zion I Street Legends RAP
    Ken Andrews Secrets Of The Lost Satellite ROCK
    Mason Proper There Is A Moth In Your Chest ROCK
    Sherwood A Different Light ROCK
    The Fratellis Costello Music ROCK
    Unsane Visqueen ROCK
    William Tell You Can Hold Me Down ROCK
    The Alternate Routes Good and Reckless and True AAA
    Agnostic Front & Discipline Working Class Heroes POP / ROCK
    Death By Stereo Death Alive POP / ROCK
    Green Lizard Las Armas Del Silencio POP / ROCK
    Nakatomi Plaza Unsettled POP / ROCK
    Pyle, Artimus Artimus Venomus POP / ROCK
    The Fireballs Firebeat! POP / ROCK
    The Flaming Stars Born Under A Bad neon Sign POP / ROCK
    Theatre of Hate Retribution POP / ROCK
    8 Ball and MJG Ridin’ High RAP
    Auto Interiors Let’s Agree To Deceive Our Best Friends ROCK
    Crematory Klagebilder ROCK
    Diddley, Bo Bo’s The Man ROCK
    Dybdahl, Thomas Science ROCK
    Ford, Marc Weary And Wired ROCK
    Gang Font featuring Interloper Gang Font featuring Interloper ROCK
    Heavenly Virus ROCK
    Holy Moses World Chaos ROCK
    Letcher, Chris Frieze ROCK
    Lodger Hi-Fi High Lights Down Low ROCK
    Meek, Joe The Joe Meek EP Collection Box Set (12 CD) ROCK
    Messiah’s Kiss Dragonheart ROCK
    Parker, Graham Don’t Tell Columbus ROCK
    Prosser Prosser ROCK
    Runic Liar Flags ROCK
    Skolnick, Alex Trio Last Day In Paradise ROCK
    Starcastle Song Of Times ROCK
    Storys, The Storys, The ROCK
    Tankard Kings Of Beer ROCK
    Third Ending, The Third Ending, The ROCK
    Type O Negative Dead Again ROCK
    Van Der Spuy, Nibs Beautiful Feet ROCK
    Elliott Murphy Coming Home Again ROCK
    The Fades The Fades ROCK
    Grand Champeen Dial “T” For This ROCK
    Joey McIntyre Talk To Me ROCK
    Mitch Easter Dynamico ROCK
    Bardi Johannson HAXAN ROCK
    P. J. O”Connell Careful ROCK
    The PirkQlaters Last Stand ROCK
    Tom Curren Tom Curren ROCK
    Peppertown Firefly ROCK
    The Red Button She’s About To Cross My Mind ROCK
    Spencer Durham Much More Than Words ROCK
    Central Services Central Services ROCK

    And there you have it, folks. Was it as good for you as it was for me? Nice!

    Until next time, keep wearing it proud and playing it loud!

    Send your favorite, hooker-bangin’ song, review copies, assorted hate mail and presents to:

    M.C. Bell
    P.O. Box 1222
    Arvada, CO 80001

    HOW TO WHEEL AND DEAL WITH A DEAF HOOKER

    deafhooker

    E-MAIL THE AUTHOR

  • QSE News: 3/8/2007

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    Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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    • Marvel Comics has killed off one of its most recognizable characters ““ Captain America. Marvel has released a statement saying that plan on continuing the spirit of Captain America through other characters which will embody different aspects of America such as The Radical Right Winger, The Whiney Democrat and Jose Can-Chu-See.
    • Actress Kirsten Dunst has been named the Female Star of the Year at this year’s ShoWest film convention.  This is the award is the first major award that Dunst has won since her Golden Globe turn in Interview With a Vampire.  Organizers of ShoWest picked Dunst for the award in hopes that she will start picking more serious roles that will lead to nude scenes.
    • Gi-normous and angry talk show host, Rosie O’Donnell, has admitted that she has been treated for depression ever since the Columbine school shooting in 1999.  As part of her treatments to improve her mental health, O’Donnell claims that she hangs upside down for up to a half-hour everyday.  As a result of this “revelation,” we here at QSE News are reminded to tip our hats to the hard working men and women of the steel industry for making structural supports that can hold outlandish weights.
    • A reunited Genesis is heading out on tour. This version of the band will consist of Tony Banks, Phil Collins and Mike Rutherford with additional musicians to help round out the band’s sound. The group will play songs from the entire Genesis catalogue while ignoring the fact that Peter Gabriel was really the only talented member of the group.
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    That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

    (Compiled by J. Allen)

    ##

  • Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/8/2007

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    The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

    ————————————————

    • It’s a bit odd, but this purports to be video of Mel Blanc’s vocal cords while he’s performing a selection of his famous characters… (Thingamabob)
    • Here’s NewsRadio‘s season 2 gag reel, part 1… (Thingamabob)
    • And NewsRadio‘s season 2 gag reel, part 2… (Thingamabob)
    • Bill McNeal’s case of the missing cane… (Thingamabob)

    Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

    ##

  • Interview: Billy Connolly

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    -by Ken Plume 

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    To pop cultured Americans, Billy Connolly is probably best known as the teacher with the heavy Scottish accent who replaced Howard Hesseman on Head of the Class. To the rest of the world (and savvy Americans), he’s a comic god. Think of him as the Scottish Robin Williams and you wouldn’t be too far from the mark. As an actor, he made quite a strong impression with his dramatic turn in Mrs. Brown, in addition to a few dozen other film roles (that The Boondock Saints and Muppet Treasure Island are both on his résumé speaks volumes about his range).

    During his run of stand-up dates in New York last year, I got the chance to speak with Billy again (we had chatted a few years previous) about his philosophy as a comedian, his work ethic, banjos, film, and much more.

    One of the most genuine people I’ve had the chance to speak with over the years, it’s always a pleasure to get the opportunity to do so again.

    Billy is currently doing a run of dates in Los Angeles until March 24th at the Brentwood Theater. If you’re in the area and are able, you should definitely make an evening of it.

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    KEN PLUME: You know, there’s a question that I’ve wanted to know the answer to for years – is it true that your beard holds magical powers?

    BILLY CONNOLLY: (laughing) It holds many, many things, but I don’t think magic powers is one of them.

    KP: Now that I’ve got the worst possible question I could ask out of the way, coming back and playing America – how different has it been for you over the years? Is it something you’ve seen evolve, or is it essentially the same?

    CONNOLLY: It’s pretty much the same. I’ve come in and out of America for… well, I’ve lived here for 15 years. And I’ve played here for nearly 30 years. On and off. But I’ve always played to my fan base. And I can come and do two or three nights in New York or two or three nights in L.A., and all that. But when I go away, nobody knows I’ve been gone. You know, I don’t get reviewed or anything like that. So that’s why I’ve come back and done a longer time in a smaller place, in New York. It’s always the people who live here that get a chance to know me.

    KP: Is it something that you just avoided in the past, or have circumstances meant that you just didn’t do it?

    CONNOLLY: Circumstances have just dictated it. I always thought I was okay here. It was always very good to me, live. But as I say, I was just playing to a very solid fan base.

    KP: What is the difference, when you move outside of that comfort zone of audiences that know you? Have you noticed a major difference?

    CONNOLLY: Oh yeah. You have to work hard… but you don’t get anything for free.

    KP: Is it almost like starting over, in some ways?

    CONNOLLY: It’s very, very much like it. It can be uncomfortable because you’re so spoiled after all these years. I don’t really like the thought of working harder than I do. (laughing) It doesn’t appeal to my basic instinct!

    KP: When you talk about being spoiled, how does that really affect the work on the stage?

    CONNOLLY: Well, basically the only thing it affects is, I usually play much, much larger rooms. I play up to, like, 7,000 seaters. But when you’re playing a 500 seater like I’m doing, you have to speak all the time. People laugh and the laugh stops quicker. (laughing) And you have to, “Oh fuck! I better speak again!” Whereas in the bigger room you can coast through the laugh rolls like a wave, you know?

    KP: Would you say you have to work twice as hard then for that smaller audience?

    CONNOLLY: Yeah. You don’t get as much time to think.

    KP: Having seen some of the stuff you’ve done internationally and in the UK, those are massive arenas and rooms that you normally play…

    CONNOLLY: Yes.

    KP: Is it a skill that you have to reclaim, in order to work those smaller rooms?

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, you have to get used to being on your toes all the time. And there’s no coasting allowed. The downfall from it is, over the years, when the people are live and laughing and applauding, and they take all that time to do it, it gives you time to think of the next thing you’ve got to do. You can think in an inventive way. But you’re not allowed that luxury when there’s only 500 in the room. They laugh and applaud for a shorter length of time. You have to constantly be on your toes. Which makes you less inventive, I find.

    KP: To the detriment of the set, or is it just a different skill?

    CONNOLLY: It’s going extremely well. I get standing ovations most nights. So it must be going okay. But for my own pleasure, I would rather have the bigger rooms.

    KP: Do you find that you almost are falling back on material that you know works in order to fill that space?

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, you’re falling back on material and moves that I’m very well acquainted with.

    KP: Is there an end goal as far as building up the American audience into something more?

    CONNOLLY: No, I don’t really know what I’m doing. I’m playing it very much by ear, to just try and enlarge my ground base.

    KP: It almost seems now, in the past 10 years, that this is almost the perfect time for UK comedians to finally achieve mainstream status in the U.S. ….

    CONNOLLY: Yeah.

    KP: To where you could do the kind of huge Odeon Hammersmith type of shows that you normally do in the UK…

    CONNOLLY: Oh yeah. Which I’ve done here. I’ve done that before. You know, for one or two nights. But I want to be better known to the general public in America, rather than just my fan base.

    KP: Do you feel the time is right to play to the “middle states” ?

    CONNOLLY: Yes.

    KP: Is that something that you’ve tried in the past?

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, I used to… when I was opening for bands and all, I did a lot of that. But it’s a long time since I did it. But I fully intend to do it.

    KP: Do you think that there’s almost… I wouldn’t call it a laziness, because that would be insulting – but do you see a sort of pattern that you get into, performance-wise, when you’re only playing the coasts, as it were?

    CONNOLLY: Well, there was that. That in itself took a long time to build up. There was that and then when I started to do film as well. It left me less time to be exploratory in the live field.

    KP: Has there ever been a period where you’ve been personally bored with standup?

    CONNOLLY: No. No… There’s times I’ve been tired. You know, where I’ve done so many in a row that I just want to walk away from it for a while. But that soon heals itself. It only takes a week of something and then you kinda miss it.

    KP: So really it’s from a point of exhaustion, more than anything…

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, that’s it. I don’t get mentally bored with it. I don’t get bored in my desire to do it.

    KP: Do you feel negative about it at all, when you start to feel exhausted?

    CONNOLLY: No. I get that kind of sub… when I start to get exhausted, I tend to get on sort of automatic pilot more. And I find myself replacing inventiveness with energy.

    KP: We sent someone up who decided that he would fly himself and his wife up to go see your show.

    CONNOLLY: Oh yeah?

    KP: On the spur of the moment. He’s like, “See Billy Connolly? I’ll go!” So I think they emptied out their savings to go see you a few weeks back, for us. (laughing)

    CONNOLLY: Love it!

    KP: He said it was the most brilliant two hours he’d had in years.

    CONNOLLY: Oh, I love it.

    KP: He said he was so close he could feel the sweat…

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, that’s real close. I mean, you’re talking like really, really… like, the furthest person away is only about maybe 20 odd feet away.

    KP: Is it a different vibe or preference for you to actually feel that intimacy after having… I mean, I’m assuming when you get to the larger venues the crowd almost becomes a single entity…

    CONNOLLY: That’s right. Well, that’s always the desire – no matter what size the room is – to make them into one single entity. I find I’m much more comfortable with the big rooms. I’ve done it for so many years, you know? And in recent years I’ve been doing the big rock and roll rooms. The big rock sheds. And I much, much prefer it to the little room. Little rooms, it’s a bit like a party at your dad’s house, and all your aunts sitting around waiting for you to be funny.

    KP: How often do you notice the single audience member? The guy in the third row who’s giving you the weird looks?

    CONNOLLY: I don’t notice them at all. I tend to look at the front of the balcony, not the people. I look at inanimate things. I don’t look at people.

    KP: So, honestly, the balcony’s getting the best show at all.

    CONNOLLY: Yes. And when there’s no balcony, I look at the foreheads of the people.

    KP: Has there ever been a forehead that’s just completely distracted you?

    CONNOLLY: (laughing)

    KP: You’re looking at this shiny object going, “I can’t think of anything else…”

    CONNOLLY: No. Hats are weird. When people are wearing hats, it’s kind of strange. You know, because the fast majority of people take off their hats indoors. But in recent years, people wear baseball hats indoors. It seems you’ve gone beyond the normal thing. So sometimes like a white, or a colored hat will just… just take your eye for a second. But not for long.

    KP: So, really, if anyone wanted to derail you, they’d just have to wear a big, antlered Viking helmet.

    CONNOLLY: Green antlers!

    KP: Maybe flashing every once in a while…

    CONNOLLY: (laughing)

    KP: Maybe that’s what you need to sell at the gift shop now, is the official Billy hat…

    CONNOLLY: Those ones on springs, you know, that you wear with a hair bun… That light up…

    KP: And it’s saying, “B-I-L-L-Y”…

    CONNOLLY: “Hello Billy!” (laughing)

    KP: You could start selling these things through the website. They’d fly off the shelf…

    CONNOLLY: (laughing) I had a fan last night give me a lovely thing. She gave me a CD with all songs of New York that she had compiled herself. It says, “New York Welcomes Billy Connolly,” and then she’s compiled about 30 New York songs on a CD. I was really moved by it.

    KP: Are you in some ways surprised by the level of affection that the audience has for you?

    CONNOLLY: I am. I’m constantly surprised. And especially on this run. Because there’s always people waiting for me when I come out. And usually with the big gigs, you come out the back and you’re gone. And so I actually meet them more on this level that I’m doing. I’m totally shocked about how warm the people feel towards me.

    KP: How different are audiences that you encounter today to audiences 35 years ago?

    CONNOLLY: They’re much more familiar with me. They know me so much better, and they know my children’s names and all that. And attentive. Because of the internet and all this information that’s out there, they tend to know an awful lot. You’re not so mysterious as you once were.

    KP: Do you think that increases the onus on you to be unpredictable?

    CONNOLLY: No, it doesn’t increase anything on me except on the personal level. You know, when I come out to the end, I hope that they’re… I always hope they’re not disappointed by the real guy. He isn’t as full of funny one liners as the guy they just saw.

    KP: Do you think they’d tell you that?

    CONNOLLY: I think they might. You might feel the disappointment, but I don’t… it seems to be rather nice. I met a guy last night who’d been here three times, and he’s from Toronto. He flies down from Toronto. And on this run he’s been there three times.

    KP: Maybe this is his subtle way of saying you should go to Toronto.

    CONNOLLY: That’s what he was saying! And I told him I’m going there in about November or something, and he was quite shocked. Maybe he could have saved some dough by hanging on.

    KP: Well, now he’s going to be in the audience going, “Yeah, I saw that part.”

    CONNOLLY: “Help me, help me!”

    [phone rings]

    KP: Do you need to get that phone?

    CONNOLLY: Oh yeah, hang on a sec and I’ll see who it is. Oh fuck, I’ve run into the wrong room!… Oh, it’s right next to me, for Christ’s sake… Who is this then? Oh, it’s my boy. Wait a minute…. Hello?… I’ll call him back…. It doesn’t matter, it’s my son.

    KP: Oh, I’m sorry about that.

    CONNOLLY: Oh, don’t be daft. It’s easy!

    KP: Well, I’m still sorry about it.

    CONNOLLY: I ran away from it. I ran into the next room and left it beside me.

    KP: Are you saying you’re starting to get a bit old?

    CONNOLLY: I think I’m starting to get a bit worse. You know, I started bad, but I’m getting worse.

    KP: I watched your DVD the other day, from the 2005 “Too Old To Die Young” American tour…

    CONNOLLY: Oh yeah…

    KP: Obviously, the title of the tour begs the question… Is it harder to do that kind of marathon show length that you’re known for, the older you get? I was talking to a friend of mine who just saw you, and he mentioned that he was shocked by how long the show was and how long you were able to perform at the level at which you perform…

    CONNOLLY: Yeah. Well, I’ve been cutting it down. I’ve cut it down to about 2 hours. It was getting closer to three.

    KP: I can’t even imagine how much energy that must take…

    CONNOLLY: I thought, “What’s the point of this?” You know, it isn’t a bloody marathon. I’m so much more comfortable at two. But it wasn’t because it was too tiring, I just questioned where it was going. And at one point on the Australian tour I did three and a half.

    KP: Is that just a fluke of circumstance?

    CONNOLLY: Yes, it just sort of flops along. You know, it’s such an odd shape when it comes to that storytelling. You know, I don’t have anything that’s short.

    KP: And existing within the moment like you do, it can go in any direction.

    CONNOLLY: It can go anywhere, yeah. And it constantly does. So it’s kinda hard to control. And that’s why I dropped the music out of it, because I couldn’t find a place to put it. And then having played the music to start being funny again, I thought, “Oh bollocks,” and I just left the music out of it.

    KP: I have to admit, as someone who’s gone back and found all the music, admittedly through the internet, it’s a shame that some of those sort of chestnuts are gone.

    CONNOLLY: Yeah.

    KP: Have you ever felt the urge to pick the banjo back up and do something with a guitar up or…

    CONNOLLY: No, I’ve had the urge, but when I think about it, I think, “Oh Christ,” you know, “What am I gonna do?” And I have to get all miked up for it as well. You know, the banjo or the guitar needs another microphone and it needs to be set up. And it all becomes a sort of pain in the ass. So what I do is I keep my music for, like, folk festivals and things.

    KP: Has there ever been a thought to sort of release, the literally, the Billy Connolly concert DVD?

    CONNOLLY: Oh yes, I’ve often thought of that. We’ve been talking about that recently.

    KP: I was watching the anniversary DVD you did a few years ago…

    CONNOLLY: Yeah…

    KP: And the one thing I wished was a bonus feature that had the full length versions of things like the music videos you did, like for “In The Brownies”…

    CONNOLLY: Oh god, yeah.

    KP: The documentary just had the snippets on there, and I’m going, “I want the whole thing!”

    CONNOLLY: Oh, that would have been a nice idea. But I’ve often thought, and in recent times I’ve talked a lot with my management, about doing music stuff and, you know, making a CD.

    KP: Honestly, I like your version of Van Morrison’s “Irish Heartbeat” even more than Van’s version…

    CONNOLLY: Oh, it’s a goodie, isn’t it?

    KP: When those bagpipes kick in, how could you not be swept away by that?

    CONNOLLY: (laughing) That’s great!

    KP: Something like that seems like just such a brilliant thing to do, just a music CD release.

    CONNOLLY: Yes, I would like to, and I really have been thinking very seriously about it.

    KP: Well, put this as another vote in the please do column.

    CONNOLLY: Oh yeah! (laughing)

    KP: Like my opinion matters… (laughing)

    CONNOLLY: And all the things that you want to do, they all pile up eventually. All the film things you would like to do and all the music stuff, and eventually you… well, with my kind of temperament, I’d say, “Ah bollocks,” and just go, “Oh, look what I’m doing.” I did it live for a while

    KP: The subject of you came up yesterday, when I was talking to a good friend of mine, (Muppet writer/director) Kirk Thatcher…

    CONNOLLY: Oh yeah…

    KP: The last time we had talked, you had mentioned wanting to work together with him again…

    CONNOLLY: Aye, that we wanted to do a thing together, but Ozzie kind of preempted us… But being the real thing.

    KP: So there must be some kind of thing that would finally draw you back to TV…

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, nice writing would draw me back.

    KP: Has there been anything in the past couple of years that’s even caught your eye?

    CONNOLLY: No, there hasn’t. As a matter of fact, I haven’t been offered a single thing.

    KP: You’re kidding me…

    CONNOLLY: No, not a sausage.

    KP: At some point, do you think that there might be a perception that you’re unapproachable about these things?

    CONNOLLY: I think when it comes to film that’s certainly true. People, they see, like, “He’s doing okay.” Because the vast majority of my film work comes from America and Canada, Australia. And Britain I get very little. Although I was offered one the other day, but they don’t have any money or anything like that. Just, would I be interested? I don’t get as many offers as people might imagine I do. I’m at a funny age as well.

    KP: As far as…

    CONNOLLY: As far as film goes.

    KP: Sort of transitioning into that elder role, are you thinking?

    CONNOLLY: Aye. You know, you get out of the leading man thing in their mind.

    KP: So, you think you’re finally at the age you’ll be playing Sean Connery’s brother?

    CONNOLLY: Absolutely! (laughing)

    KP: With Ewan McGregor playing your son…

    CONNOLLY: Aye!

    KP: I’m telling you, that’s a heist comedy waiting to happen.

    CONNOLLY: Oh, yeah! (laughing) And a family one would be fun.

    KP: A multi-generational kinda thing…

    CONNOLLY: Absolutely. It’s just sitting there waiting to be done.

    KP: I’m still expecting you to one day do your own production of Braveheart.

    CONNOLLY: Oh, god, I would love to! Braveheart: the Truth.

    KP: Well, as you’ve said, I’m actually shocked when they had, what, practically every Scotsman in the flick… I think they even had Scrooge McDuck in that movie.

    CONNOLLY: (laughing)

    KP: I think he’s in one of the long shots in one of the battles.

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, it was like A Bridge Too Far. Everybody was in it, you know.

    KP: And it’s something that obviously has been coming up in your standup ever since the movie.

    CONNOLLY: Absolutely!

    KP: I mean, at some point, will it no longer be a thorn in your side?

    CONNOLLY: It never has been a thorn in my side. Because I remember at the time being glad I wasn’t in it, because everybody who could walk upright and had a Scottish accent was in it. And that never became a thing I wanted to be in.

    KP: And yet you’re still not in a Harry Potter film, either.

    CONNOLLY: No, I’m not in Harry Potter. Even with insiders rooting for me.

    KP: Well, the friend of mine who flew up to see you was the one who started the quote/unquote web campaign to get you cast as Mad Eye Moody.

    CONNOLLY: (laughing) David Thewlis was trying to get me on as some character. I don’t know who he had in mind.

    KP: I mean, it’s just a couple of films… maybe a crowd scene or something.

    CONNOLLY: (laughing) Yeah!

    KP: When they shove everyone else who’s ever been in some way associated with acting in the UK into the films…

    CONNOLLY: Absolutely. I’ll get my face in there. Don’t worry about that.

    KP: Watch – there’ll be, like, a cardboard cutout of you at some point.

    CONNOLLY: And it’s like if I don’t succeed, I’ll spread a rumor about why… I’ll make up a story about why I would never do it.

    KP: I think you need to start that rumor.

    CONNOLLY: (laughing)

    KP: In fact, they’ve been pursuing you for years and you just haven’t cared to do it…

    CONNOLLY: “Why do I keep turning down Harry Potter?” (laughing)

    KP: I think you were offered the same role that Maggie Smith eventually got…

    CONNOLLY: Aye. Well, I was interviewed for the role that Coltrane’s got. What is it? Hagrid?

    KP: Yes…

    CONNOLLY: Well, they interviewed me for that, but they gave it to him.

    KP: I think if you had just bulked up before you went in…

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, but only at lunch. If that interview had been after lunch, I would have gotten the gig…

    KP: You see, it’s all about circumstance.

    CONNOLLY: Oh absolutely. It’s all serendipity. But I think Robby was the choice. I think he was a brilliant choice.

    KP: But you’re close to that. Aren’t you playing a zombie in a film coming up?

    CONNOLLY: Oh yeah, I’m doing a zombie named Fido. I think it comes out at Halloween. And that’s the weirdest, because they cut my hair and shaved me. So I didn’t look like me. And then I don’t have any dialogue, I just growl. You can’t growl in a Scottish accent, so I don’t sound like me. I said, “You could use somebody much cheaper…”

    KP: We talked about how most of your roles come from the US and such. I mean, do you think you achieved that sort of level of pop culture familiarity that people have a real affection for you?

    CONNOLLY: Yes. Oh, without question, that comes rolling back. I just did Garfield… you know, the cat thing. I’m in that one, and it’s extraordinary. And with Fido, I didn’t realize these things had the following that they have. Especially with zombie movies. It’s a whole culture in its own. I didn’t know that.

    KP: Fido is a bit of a satire, isn’t it?

    CONNOLLY: It is, but the whole zombie genre’s very weird, you know. It has a whole audience of its own.

    KP: So does that mean you’ll start doing zombie conventions?

    CONNOLLY: You know, there are magazines and all that. I did some of that.

    KP: Magazines like Fangoria and such…

    CONNOLLY: Yeah…

    KP: Obviously it’s a culture you hadn’t been exposed to when you did Mrs. Brown

    CONNOLLY: Yes! (laughing)

    KP: To achieve that sort of cult status as a performer… I mean, I know that you know that people desperately try and pursue talking to you, and you’ve always been described as press shy…

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, I don’t like them very much.

    KP: And I feel bad about that. (laughing)

    CONNOLLY: Oh no, don’t feel bad about it. I just… Particularly with the Scottish and English press, I felt kind of abused over there the last few years, so I decided to stop talking to them.

    KP: I’m assuming it also had to do with whatever happened in that event at the airport – which I still don’t fully understand why that was blown out of proportion. Whatever comment that was made at the airport that all of a sudden became this thing that was spread across every paper in the UK.

    CONNOLLY: Oh yeah, that was front page all over the fuckin’ place. I couldn’t believe my ears. It’s as if they’ve sort of invented a rule book about what comedians can and can’t speak about, and fuck that. This is anarchy. You know, comedy has always been anarchy, and I like it for that.

    KP: And you were one of the early pioneers of that, especially within the UK scene.

    CONNOLLY: Absolutely. Saying stuff that actually meant something. But they’ve always been desperate to put a little rule book on it. And so you end up with ludicrous scenes like Larry King and Bill Maher, talking about when is it alright to speak about the twin towers or whatever? There’s no time limit. There’s no fucking rule book.

    KP: Have you noticed any chill, even since the 70s, when there were attempts by people to dictate what they believe you should and shouldn’t say?

    CONNOLLY: No. I’ve seen various attempts at it, usually by the press. Sort of alluding to the fact that people… bad taste – that speaking about certain subjects at all it bad taste and blah blah blah. But I’ve always regarded that as conservative crap.

    KP: Has there ever been anything that you’ve shied away from?

    CONNOLLY: No.

    KP: Or said “I just won’t talk about that”…

    CONNOLLY: No. There’s stuff that I haven’t bothered to talk about, I imagine, but I’ve never… I don’t really think along those lines.

    KP: So it’s never been something where you’ve self-censored…

    CONNOLLY: No, I don’t… sometimes I do. But there’s a degree to which you can do things and beyond which it becomes… it changes its nature. You know, like supposing you’re talking about a real event, and supposedly it’s like a murder or something that everybody knows about. It becomes a degree when you’re wallowing in it instead of commenting on it. And I try and avoid that.

    KP: But that’s not so much a function of not talking about it as just how you talk about it.

    CONNOLLY: Yes! So that’s where I censor myself – in the degree that I do it. But I don’t censor myself on the subject matter. I think everything’s fair game.

    KP: What’s been the biggest negative response that you’ve ever gotten to something you’ve said?

    CONNOLLY: I told a joke about Hitler once and got absolutely nothing. And it was quite a long joke. And I got to the end and absolutely nothing happened.

    KP: Was that the more painful aspect of it?

    CONNOLLY: No, I thought it was the funniest thing that had ever happened to me. I collapsed on the floor laughing. It was so ludicrous.

    KP: Was the audience with you on the failure…

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, they started to laugh at me laughing.

    KP: Watching you perform, I really get a sense that you’re enjoying it as much as the audience is…

    CONNOLLY: I do. I have a really good time.

    KP: If it stopped being that, is that the point at which you would walk away?

    CONNOLLY: Yes. I think that’s the sign for everything. Whether it’s drinking or whatever you’re doing, if the fun goes away, stop doing it.

    KP: Is that something that has become an easier thing over the years for you to notice – that point at which something is no longer fun?

    CONNOLLY: Absolutely. And I’ve always enjoyed doing it, you know, and I laugh, and I giggle and stuff. And I don’t care if anybody likes it or not. Some people have said, mainly press guys have said, they’re irritated by it. And the other day, a year or so ago, there was an English comedian said it irritated him, my laughing. Who gives a fuck what irritates him?

    KP: I don’t understand that… I mean, I think there’s nothing more infectious than to see someone who’s trying to make you laugh who feels that they want to have just as much a good time as you do.

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, yeah. Well, I would have thought so. And I must say the reactions to it are like 99.5% positive over all these years. So it doesn’t really come up as a question.

    KP: Is it a fundamentally different feeling walking on a stage now than it was 35 years ago?

    CONNOLLY: Well, in New York just now, it’s more a feeling of having to work very hard. But normally it’s exactly the same feeling.

    KP: Does playing the smaller venue make you want to do it elsewhere?

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, I’d like to do it elsewhere and build my audience up. But when I’ve done that, I’ll be back in the big rooms again.

    KP: It’s always fascinating to sort of remember at time when Whoopi Goldberg essentially used her clout at that period to bring you over to the U.S. in a big way. You’d been in the U.S. before, but as a way of saying to the American public at large, “You know, I find this guy funny, and I hope you do to.” Has there ever been a performer that you’ve run across that you felt that you might be able to do that with?

    CONNOLLY: No, it’s never crossed my mind, because I think the world changed right after that. You know, it was huge of Whoopi to do that, but I think because of satellite and all that, that’s already happening in the world. I think people… it’s not so difficult to hear of people in other places anymore. Especially because of the internet and all that.

    KP: Are there any comedians out there that surprise you, and that you get a huge kick out of?

    CONNOLLY: Oh yes. I love Lewis Black.

    KP: He’s a great, great guy, too.

    CONNOLLY: And I love… do you know Charlie Fleischer?

    KP: Yes.

    CONNOLLY: I love him.

    KP: That’s a good example of someone that hip people know, but the majority of the American public wouldn’t know his name unless you went “Roger Rabbit.”

    CONNOLLY: Absolutely. That’s what I have to say when I’m talking about him.

    KP: That’s the kind of guy who you would one day hope would be able to pop and people would appreciate…

    CONNOLLY: If there was anything I could do to make people more aware of Charlie Fleischer, I would do it in a heartbeat.

    KP: I was talking to Alan Davies and Bill Bailey a few months back, and it seems like the time is ripe now to do sort of a “Brit Kings of Comedy” type of film.

    CONNOLLY: Oh yeah?

    KP: Having a collection of Brit comedians and using that as a way to kind of do a blanket introduction to the U.S….

    CONNOLLY: Yeah. I would avoid it like the plague.

    KP: (laughing) What about that is unappealing to you?

    CONNOLLY: ‘Cause I’ve never felt that I’m in a club or a movement or a crusade of some kind. I’m just me. I don’t care whether I still do it.

    KP: But obviously you’re a groundbreaker. Eddie Izzard has cited you as a major influence in how to get into America.

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, but that’s got nothing to do with me.

    KP: But you’ve been an inspiration…

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, well, and I’m delighted to be an inspiration, but I don’t regard myself as part of some kind of movement.

    KP: Well, I certainly can’t name another performer that’s like you…

    CONNOLLY: No. But I don’t regard myself as part of some British invasion or some shit like that. I never go to the Edinburgh Festival, where all the comedians are and all that. I just… I’ve never been at a comedy festival. I’ve, like, maybe three times in my life ever been in a comedy club.

    KP: And when were those three times? Were those early in your career?

    CONNOLLY: It was when I first came over to America, I went to the Improv on Melrose. Just to look and see what it was like. And the other times I’ve gone to meet people. But it’s not my favorite surrounding.

    KP: It seems almost like sort of a dead zone for a comedian to try and work.

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, I think so.

    KP: Anytime I’ve been in one, it doesn’t seem like it’s a room, ironically, conducive for comedy.

    CONNOLLY: They’re not… they’re not happy places. There’s an air of desperation. Of all those people who want to be in sitcoms.

    KP: Particularly when they turn on that spotlight with the bullseye that shines on you.

    CONNOLLY: Yeah. Everybody wants to be like Raymond, you know… whatever his name is.

    KP: As far as getting that supposed brass ring of getting a TV career out of it?

    CONNOLLY: Yeah. And I don’t want a TV career. I never did and I never will.

    KP: But it’s certainly something that you flirted with.

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, I tried it see if I liked it, got over it, but it was never… my aim was never to be a TV star. I always wanted to be like Victor Borge. I wanted to be an international concert guy.

    KP: Well, in any stretch of the imagination, no one can say you haven’t achieved that.

    CONNOLLY: Well, that’s what I’ve done, yeah.

    KP: Is there any venue, any place, any country that you still feel you haven’t, you know, made your mark in?

    CONNOLLY: No. No. I would like my audience here to expand a little, but when you think of the things I’ve done here, like Carnegie Hall and all that, I’ve done okay.

    KP: Anyone who’s playing Carnegie Hall can’t be said to be doing poorly.

    CONNOLLY: Yeah! (laughing) I’ve done it twice.

    KP: I hold a fond hope that I’ll finally get to see you live at some point. I keep hoping that you’ll travel to the hinterlands to tour in the near future.

    CONNOLLY: Where are you?

    KP: I’m in North Carolina.

    CONNOLLY: Oh, that’s my spiritual home!

    KP: Oh really?

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, I’m a banjo player…I’ve always wanted to go to Asheville.

    KP: Beautiful, beautiful area. In fact, one of the most beautiful areas I’ve ever been to is Asheville. And remains remarkably like it’s been for decades…

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, I’ve always wanted to go… they have a great festival I’d love to go to.

    KP: Is this the storytelling festival?

    CONNOLLY: Well, it’s a folk, banjo-y thing. Fiddles and banjos. I’d love to go and play there.

    KP: Would it take an invitation from them to get you to go?

    CONNOLLY: Oh, no… I’ll go myself.

    KP: Well, my fingers are crossed that you do so.

    CONNOLLY: Oh, I’d love to. The home of great music I love is from North Carolina.

    KP: Well, I keep hoping that somehow, someday, America would get something like the Edinburgh Festival.

    CONNOLLY: Oh, yeah…

    KP: Because we don’t have anything, particularly for comedy, like that. Aspen is far too elitist and corporate.

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, I hope you never have one. I don’t think comedy responds well to that. It’s sort of… Edinburgh Festival comedy just seems to feed television.

    KP: Do you think that it’s always been like that?

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, from day one.

    KP: What’s the last comedy festival that you’ve attended?

    CONNOLLY: I’ve never been to a comedy festival.

    KP: I thought you’d done Aspen in the past…

    CONNOLLY: No, I went there with the… what the hell did I go for? I went with Eric Idle for something. We went on Robin’s plane – Robin Williams. Just to be all together again, because Steve Martin and Robin and Eric and I all hang out together.

    KP: That just blows my mind.

    CONNOLLY: They come to my house in the summer, in Scotland.

    KP: At what point do the guitars come out?

    CONNOLLY: Oh, all the time in the evening.

    KP: I gotta know, what song is the recurring… there must be a recurring song that you just jam to.

    CONNOLLY: “Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life”.

    KP: And who does it better in the group?

    CONNOLLY: Eric, by far… Eric Idle is the stalwart. He’s the guitars. He’s the solid one of us all who knows most words of songs. The vast majority of us have dabbled all the time. We know bits of things. And of course Steve is a sensational bluegrass picker.

    KP: I was thrilled when he did that fundraiser last year, where he actually played the banjo again on stage.

    CONNOLLY: Aye. And I’m an old-timey picker. I’m an old frailer. I love the old North Carolina stuff. You know, the old fashioned picking.

    KP: So that old bluegrass mountain music.

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, the old-timey.

    KP: So you and Andy Griffith, together…

    CONNOLLY: Absolutely. And I like all that autoharp and Carter family and all that stuff.

    KP: So when are we gonna get a bluegrass album out of you?

    CONNOLLY: Oh, that would be fun. I’d love to get together with some of my pals and do that.

    KP: Just pick some of those great old tunes…

    CONNOLLY: Yeah…

    KP: It seems almost inevitable that you’re gonna wind up in Nashville then.

    CONNOLLY: Oh, I will, without question. Oh, there’s no question about that. I will get there.

    KP: So, if you were to pick one of those songs that you just noodle to, that you love dearly, what would you choose?

    CONNOLLY: “Little Maggie”.

    KP: When did you first encounter that tune?

    CONNOLLY: Oh, it was way at the beginning, about 30 years ago. I think I first heard the Stanley Brothers doing it, but almost everyone I know has played it.

    KP: Is that one of those things that, when you pick up the banjo, you will eventually find yourself picking?

    CONNOLLY: Absolutely, within about an hour or half an hour you’ll find yourself playing “Little Maggie”.

    KP: I read an article where Steve recounted how he learned the banjo, and he said that the banjo is this unforgiving instrument that demands you practice or you start to lose your skills on it.

    CONNOLLY: That’s why you have to do it every day.

    KP: Is it something that you do every day?

    CONNOLLY: Oh yeah.

    KP: So you travel with the banjo.

    CONNOLLY: Yes, I do. If you just hang on a second… I’m walking into the living room. And there, lying on the couch is… (banjo plays)

    KP: I can’t tell you how happy that’s made me. And how sad that something like that just gave me so much joy.

    CONNOLLY: And I do it every day. I do it in a kind of meditative way.

    KP: So is it almost like a Zen kind of thing for you?

    CONNOLLY: It is! And it’s an amazing thing. You know, you sit down and you think, “I’ll give it half an hour,” and then you look at your watch and it’s two and a half hours.

    KP: Do you find that that’s the closest thing to the same kind of joy and fulfillment that you get from standup?

    CONNOLLY: Without question. It’s the nicest… it’s the best thing that every happened to me.

    KP: How would you define that…

    CONNOLLY: It led to everything, you know. Because when I wanted to be a comedian there wasn’t an obvious way to become one. Most comedians were old guys. There was no such thing as a young comedian in Britain.

    KP: Particularly – I mean, this is when you were still in Glasgow, right?

    CONNOLLY: Yeah. And so I went into the folk scene – the folk music, coffee house kind of stuff. And put around the banjo. I saw Pete Seeger on television, and then Earl Scruggs, and I picked up the banjo and became a sort of folk singer. But I was funny all the time. And all those banjo songs and stuff led to being funny, ’cause you were always singing about chicken pie or murdering pregnant women…

    KP: Do you think it’s hard to get a truly mournful song out of a banjo?

    CONNOLLY: No, it isn’t! It can be incredibly mournful. If you listen to people like Dock Boggs and people at that, it can be really mournful…

    KP: But it always seems to be… When you get those sort of songs, they always seem to have a tinge of hope to them, though.

    CONNOLLY: Oh, yeah.

    KP: It doesn’t feel… I mean, some guitar songs you feel like, you know, you want to go shoot yourself…

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, but all good stuff, all the great blues players, sing the blues from the outside looking in.

    KP: Do you think that that would be sort of the definition of how you felt early in your career?

    CONNOLLY: Oh, yeah, definitely. It was lovely. And then if somebody had told me I was gonna be a banjo player and folky for the rest of my life, I would have been quite happy.

    KP: Again, just hearing you play that, and even when I heard Steve Martin do his bit last year, it’s just a shame that there isn’t some kind of way to bring that back in…

    CONNOLLY: Do you know Kevin Nealon?

    KP: Yes…

    CONNOLLY: He’s a good picker, too.

    KP: Really?

    CONNOLLY: Yeah.

    KP: Technique-wise, how would you compare your three techniques?

    CONNOLLY: Well, Steve is very, as you can imagine, is very clean and crisp bluegrass – just like he is himself. You know, he’s got that clean, crisp look about him.

    KP: Right.

    CONNOLLY: And Kevin’s a bit the same. And I am more funky. More, uh, strange choices of tunes to play and stuff. And old hillbilly, obscure stuff. I’ve learned songs just because of the titles, you know…

    KP: Like?

    CONNOLLY: Like “Beasties in the Sugar.”

    KP: (laughing) Honestly, going back to some of the songs that you’ve written, I can tell where the influence came in.

    CONNOLLY: Absolutely. And the one I used to love introducing’s called “Clench Mountain Back Step”… I just think it sounds great, you know. “Clench Mountain Back Step”. I love introducing it, and I love playing it.

    KP: It’s like “Four Flies in the Flour,” or something like that.

    CONNOLLY: Absolutely. “Shoo Fly Shoo”. But I love “Beasties in the Sugar”. It’s my favorite title.

    KP: When was the last time that you sat down and actually wrote a song?

    CONNOLLY: Oh, it’s been a long…oh no, no. I did it quite recently. I wrote a song called “I Wish I Could Be a Little Bit More Like Michael Palin.”

    KP: Now, you have to elaborate on that…

    CONNOLLY: I just wrote it for Eric Idle, just to give him a laugh. I sang it to him the other night in a restaurant.

    KP: And what exactly are you saying within the song?

    CONNOLLY: That I wish I was a nicer guy. I wish I was an all around nice guy. You know about that lovely reputation’s Michael’s got…

    KP: Oh yes. I was actually talking to Terry Jones about it the other day. We were comparing notes about, you know, we keep fearing that day when the news flash comes across that an international rescue operation is being mounted for the nicest Python…

    CONNOLLY: Oh, absolutely.

    KP: Who’s lost somewhere in Sumatra on a mountain side or something.

    CONNOLLY: I’ve got lines in it like, what is it – “They tell me he never swears, and never puts on airs, and I have it on good authority that he never forgets his prayers.”

    KP: So how plucky is the tune for this? I’m assuming it’s a suitably Michael Palin-ish tune.

    CONNOLLY: It’s a very banjo-y, it’s (sings) “da diddle-dee dum, dee deedle ee dum, de dum dum dum dum, deedle ee dum, dee deedly die deed um. I wish I could be a little bit more like Michael Palin, I’d like to be a duddly decent chap…

    KP: It reminds me of the song that Eric wrote for Harry Nilsson…

    CONNOLLY: It’s a lot like that. I met Harry Nilsson once myself.

    KP: Oh really?

    CONNOLLY: He made me a Knight of Malta.

    KP: (laughing) You’re gonna have to explain that.

    CONNOLLY: He was making Popeye at the time and I was in Malta for another reason. And we met, and he had a competition… you had to make a mark somewhere in Malta that could be read from a mile away, and if you did you became a Knight of Malta. It was a cigarette lighter he gave you with a little Maltese cross on it. It was one of those cheap plastic ones. So I wrote my name on the side of a castle thing on a hill. And we could see it. So he made me a Knight of Malta, and we went out drinking, and it was one of the best nights of my life.

    KP: So do you still have that lighter?

    CONNOLLY: No, I don’t. I wish I had. I took it… I just took those things very lightly in those days. Not knowing he wouldn’t always be around.

    KP: He was another sort of talent that’s comparable… I mean, it’s interesting how lasting those sort of personalities and perspectives are – those kind of skewed perspectives.

    CONNOLLY: Yes.

    KP: No one can claim that you’re not a unique thinker, as well.

    CONNOLLY: Yeah…

    KP: I think that’s part of what leads to longevity. Did you see the new Harry Nilsson documentary?

    CONNOLLY: No I didn’t. I wish I could see that.

    KP: Eric actually performs his tune about Harry at the end of it.

    CONNOLLY: Oh really? Well, I’ll see Eric about it. He’ll get it for me.

    KP: It’s Who’s Harry Nilsson and Why is Everybody Talking about Him. It’s got Eric, Van Dyke Parks, Brian Wilson… All telling wonderful Harry stories…

    CONNOLLY: Oh, I’d love to see that.

    KP: It’s a nice mixture of the profound, the insane, the surreal, the beautiful, and the emotional sides of his life and work. It’s a really powerful documentary.

    CONNOLLY: Oh, that’s amazing. The funniest thing was, when I met him, he was doing the music for Popeye, and so was Doug Dillard, the great banjo player from North Carolina. The Dillards…

    KP: Oh yeah, who actually were featured on The Andy Griffith Show

    CONNOLLY: That’s right. Well, Doug was on the movie as well.

    KP: Those Popeye sessions are legendary.

    CONNOLLY: Absolutely.

    KP: In fact, a tape has surfaced of all of Harry’s Popeye demos.

    CONNOLLY: Oh really?

    KP: It’s nearly a complete demo reel for it. And it’s amazing to hear that sort of session work, with Harry providing all the vocals.

    CONNOLLY: Well, when we were rambling through the night we came to a garage, a gas station that he knew. He knew, he said, that the guy played guitar. And we went into the gas station, and the guy wasn’t there. But there was an old piano there that had been painted green. It was a pale green piano. And he says, “What do you want to hear?” And I said, “Remember Christmas.” Remember that song?

    KP: Oh yes.

    CONNOLLY: And he sat down and played it for just, it was only me.

    KP: I… I mean, when you’re sitting there in that moment, what are you thinking?

    CONNOLLY: You’re thinking you’ve died and gone to heaven. It’s just… it’s the nicest thing.

    KP: If you could pick one thing that gives you the biggest high, would it be music or would it be comedy?

    CONNOLLY: It would be music, I think.

    KP: And if you could pick one song that you called closest, what would you choose?

    CONNOLLY: Oh, I don’t know. There’s too many, I think.

    KP: Well, a clutch of them. Which ones come to mind as ones that always get you in one way or another… Either happy or sad, or…

    CONNOLLY: “Across the Universe.” The Beatles song.

    KP: Do you remember where you were the first time you heard it?

    CONNOLLY: Yeah. I was at home. I’d just bought the album. And I… it was the chorus, “Nothin’s gonna change my world, nothin’s gonna change my world.” And I thought, “Oh, how great is this?” I’ve been trying to play it ever since.

    KP: When you say trying to play it…

    CONNOLLY: I can never find a key that suits me.

    KP: What’s the closest you’ve come?

    CONNOLLY: Oh, I get quite close, but I sing like a girl.

    KP: What do you mean you sing like a girl?

    CONNOLLY: Yeah. The only one that suits me, I’m singing way up high like a soprano.

    KP: It almost sounds like a Rex Harrison spoken thing might suit you the best.

    CONNOLLY: Oh, (laughing) yeah.

    KP: That sort of talk-sing kind of thing. You naturally have a voice that lends itself to the lyrics.

    CONNOLLY: Absolutely. I do a mean version of “The Teddy Bear’s Picnic”.

    KP: Oh, you do!

    CONNOLLY: Oh yeah!

    KP: See, why have you not had just a plain music concert?

    CONNOLLY: I actually don’t know. It takes so much setting up and getting down to it.

    KP: Or just have a jam. You know, go out and give Neil Innes a call…

    CONNOLLY: Oh, I’d do that. I don’t give Neil Innes a call, but I go to various pubs and places where people play. And join in.

    KP: What about recreating that in a concert setting?

    CONNOLLY: Oh yeah. Neil Innes has the best opening line in a song that I ever heard. I don’t know the rest of the song, but the line was, “The champagne was Canadian.”

    KP: (laughing) I was just listening to that…

    CONNOLLY: Were you?

    KP: Actually, ’cause I just talked to Neil last week.

    CONNOLLY: Oh, I think he’s great, Neil Innes.

    KP: You should have been there for that Bonzo reunion they did a few months back…

    CONNOLLY: I love it. I love to see Bonzo Dog getting back together. I would go miles to see that. I used to love Bonzo.

    KP: Looking at sort of the body of work going back over 30 years now, is there anything you can point to and say, you know, “If they take away one thing, that you know, defines me…”

    CONNOLLY: No. No, I would never…I don’t think along these lines ,and I never will. Now is the hour. I think now is the best time. This is, I think the stuff I do now is the best I’ve ever done.

    KP: So, really, the way you live your life is reflected in your comedy.

    CONNOLLY: Yes. I think the stuff I do now is by far the best stuff I’ve ever done. And it certainly makes me happier than anything I’ve ever done. And I’m always embarrassed looking back at my stuff.

    KP: Well, I know you mentioned when we talked last time that you really detest watching yourself on screen.

    CONNOLLY: Oh, I can’t stand it. My god.

    KP: What do you see when you look at yourself?

    CONNOLLY: Just, just see too many things. I don’t like the way I walk, I don’t like the way my face moves. I don’t… you know, it’s just… it’s just so different from the way I thought I looked.

    KP: I mean, has your assessment of yourself softened over the years?

    CONNOLLY: I would rather live with my self-assessment than the filmed image of how I looked at that minute on that day.

    KP: Has there been anything that’s been palatable to you to look back on?

    CONNOLLY: No.

    KP: Do you feel yourself softening about that over the years?

    CONNOLLY: Yeah. Well, I’m not so… I’m not so aggressive about it. I’ve actually sat through some things, you know, because I was forced to. The premieres, I’ve had to sit through films. But it was agony for me.

    KP: So, objectively, you can’t look at a performance say like Mrs. Brown and say, “You know, I was really good in that.”

    CONNOLLY: No, I can’t. I thought I was crap in it, anyway. I would do it differently if I was doing that again.

    KP: How would you do it differently?

    CONNOLLY: I don’t know, it just, it’s kind of small differences. Sometimes, you know, if I see a little clip – when I’m on a show and they show a clip of it, I go, “Oh god, I could have done that better.”

    KP: So you hate going on things like Jonathan Ross, then.

    CONNOLLY: Oh, aye. I would. I avoid that.

    KP: Where he dredges up some clip of you…

    CONNOLLY: Yeah. Oh my god, somebody did it the other day. I can’t remember what show I was on, but they had a clip from Head of the Class. Oh, I thought I was gonna die.

    KP: It always struck me, particularly during your first season of Head of the Class, that you weren’t really enjoying yourself.

    CONNOLLY: Yeah. Well, I was kinda trapped in it.

    KP: Was it just a circumstance where you took the job…

    CONNOLLY: Oh, no, I was enjoying doing… I like doing it and I liked being in America doing the thing, but I… it was so… they were all so firmly ensconced in what they did that there wasn’t much room for me to maneuver around.

    KP: So, essentially, you were just plugged into a machine…

    CONNOLLY: It was much better in the second season when I got to stretch a bit.

    KP: Is there anything different you would have done about Billy, which was tailored around you?

    CONNOLLY: Yeah. I would have had other writers than myself writing it.

    KP: If you were to construct a TV or a movie project for yourself, what would it be?

    CONNOLLY: Oh, I don’t think I would do that.

    KP: Just because it doesn’t appeal to you?

    CONNOLLY: No…I don’t have any ambitions in that department.

    KP: So really, in essence, what you’re doing right now is, is what you…

    CONNOLLY: It’s what I love to do.

    KP: I’ve never seen a stand-up performance from you where it doesn’t look like you were giving 100%…

    CONNOLLY: Oh yes, and I always do. I have that working man thing, you know, because I’ve been a working guy. You know, I’ve been a welder. And I have a great thing about value for money. You know, when you’ve worked your balls off in some shipyard or coal mine and then you go to spend some of the money, well, it’s so difficult to get the money that you should spend it in the same way. So the person performing for you should be giving the same as you gave.

    KP: Well, like I said, the person who saw you in New York was literally stunned that you went two hours, because that’s virtually unheard of from most comedians…

    CONNOLLY: I’m glad he felt like that. Yeah, I’m not sure how many other guys do that, but I’m glad I do and I’m glad he felt like that. You know, I’m really proud of it. I don’t tread lightly on it. I mean, I’m really, I’m really proud of any of these achievements. But I’m a real stickler for value for money, you know. As long as they leave thinking that they got more than they spent…

    KP: Well, I can tell you right now that you made the vacation for him and his wife…

    CONNOLLY: Well, that’s wonderful. I’m really glad to hear that. It’s amazing, you know, the number of Americans who have told me how much they love it. It really pleases me. How original to find that, you know?

    KP: I think that every once in a while, a comedy scene gets into a bit of a rut.

    CONNOLLY: It does. I think comedians go and see too many other comedians.

    KP: In American comedy today, and I don’t know how much of this that you’ve noticed or been aware of, there seems to be this trend towards comedian’s comedians…

    CONNOLLY: Yeah.

    KP: … being the predominant form, and the type of comedy being what other comedians might find funny at a restaurant at three in the morning.

    CONNOLLY: Oh yeah. Well, that’s not so good.

    KP: And it’s incredibly inaccessible for the majority of audiences.

    CONNOLLY: Well, that renders it dead to me.

    KP: Is that something that you’ve noticed in any way?

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, I’ve noticed a bit of that. And another thing – people on talk shows saying funny things, and then when they talk and the thing doesn’t go down well, they’ll say, “Well, that didn’t go down very well.” You know, they’ll comment on how the stuff’s going down. They should shut up and say something else.

    KP: I think that’s a sort of preciousness about prepared material.

    CONNOLLY: Yeah. Or comedians talking about how it is to be a comedian.

    KP: Which is a circular entertainment.

    CONNOLLY: Yeah. Or talking about, “Oh, life on the road is so hard,” and you say, “I’ve never fuckin’ heard of you, where have you been?” You know? “I’ve been on the road for about three months.”

    KP: Well, you do a little comedy, do a little ditch digging…

    CONNOLLY: You know, they’re talking like they’re Woody Guthrie, for fuck’s sake!

    KP: (laughing) Oh, come on, it’s so hard to be a comedian. You don’t understand what they’ve gone through in those horrible hotels…. All that bad food…

    CONNOLLY: Well, nobody forced them at gunpoint, for fuck’s sake!

    KP: Well, I think there is that sort of, “If you don’t laugh at this, you’re rejecting every moment I poured over this…”

    CONNOLLY: Absolutely, but I think the calling to be a comedian is almost… it’s almost a holy one. You know, a lot of people have been comedians because comedians can get work, you know? People gradually want to be actors on sitcoms. And I think the calling to be a comedian is, as I say, it’s almost holy, because it’s a very painful process.

    KP: Do you think have to have an empathy or desire to, you know, “minister to the masses”?

    CONNOLLY: Oh, no.

    KP: You don’t think so?

    CONNOLLY: No, no. Just the belief that you’ve got this thing that can make people laugh. Which is the most desirable thing of them all. I can guarantee if you asked Marlon Brando would he like to make people laugh, he would have said, “Fuck yeah.”

    KP: Well, you can look at the majority of his latter career to see that he made that decision.

    CONNOLLY: (laughing)

    KP: Or people like Leslie Nielsen, who went from 40 years of a dramatic acting career to finally saying, “I’m just gonna enjoy myself for the rest of my career.”

    CONNOLLY: Yeah.

    KP: No one can say that you haven’t accomplished that.

    CONNOLLY: Oh, I love doing it, I must say.

    KP: And you’re definitely one of those comedians… I mean, it seems there are two schools of comedy. There are those who embrace and want to take the audience on the ride, and there are those that come out with contempt for the audience and almost are saying, “You know, to hell with you if you don’t laugh at my genius.”

    CONNOLLY: Oh, that’s a sad state of affairs. I love my audience. I’m so… I can’t imagine anybody getting a babysitter and parking their car and paying money to actually see me. It’s such an immense compliment.

    KP: Well, like I said, I hope eventually I will have the pleasure.

    CONNOLLY: Oh, I’ll come to Asheville and do it, then.

    KP: If you come to Asheville, I will make the five hour drive over there to see you.

    CONNOLLY: And I’ll play my banjo.

    KP: See, you know, you got me sold. And you have to play the Michael Palin song.

    CONNOLLY: Oh yeah, I’ll sing the Michael Palin song for you!

    KP: Maybe you should record that and put it up on the website.

    CONNOLLY: Aye, I might do that.

    KP: As a fun little thing for people to download.

    CONNOLLY: Oh yeah! I’ll get Eric to back me on it, then.

    KP: See, now you just made it even better.

    CONNOLLY: We could do it together. When I had dinner with him the other night in New York, he was saying, “We’ve gotta play together. When are we gonna play again?”

    KP: Well, you know, this is what the web was invented for. A banjo showcase.

    CONNOLLY: Yeah, well, we must do it.

    KP: I’m gonna hold you to that. I have no possible way of doing so, but I’m gonna hold you to that.

    CONNOLLY: Aye, I would love to do it. I’ll put it to Eric.

    KP: Looking at the clock, I’ve taken up way, way, way too much of your time.

    CONNOLLY: Oh, it’s been a pleasure. Thanks very much.

    KP: And I hope that, in the future, we can definitely do this again.

    CONNOLLY: Oh, I hope so. I hope we meet again.

    KP: See you in Asheville!

    CONNOLLY: We’ll meet in Asheville and pick a little!

    KP: I’m putting money on it right now.

    CONNOLLY: Kick off our shoes and set a spell.

    KP: Now, I’ll consider this a very hurtful tease if you never show up.

    CONNOLLY: Oh no, I’ll be there.

    KP: I’m gonna have to have some personal vendetta going – “That bastard Billy Connolly swore! I had it on tape!”

    CONNOLLY: You southern guys are very good at those personal vendettas. I’ve read about them.

    KP: See, what happens is, if you don’t show up, I’ll start a website – BillyConnollyScrewedCarolina.com.

    CONNOLLY: (laughing) “Why does he hate Carolina so much?”

    KP: And I’ll put the audio clip of you going, ‘Yeah, I’m gonna go.” And say, “See? He screwed Carolina. Sign the petition.”

    CONNOLLY: I’ll be there!

  • QSE News: 3/7/2007

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    Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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    • Talk show host, Jerry Springer, has been tapped to replace Regis Philben on the popular televised talent show, America’s Got Talent.  Springer was picked by the producers to host the show and judge talent in spite of the irony.
    • In a recent interview, Avril Lavigne said she admires pop-stars like Britney Spears for their ability to sing and dance at the same time. Lavinge says that she aspires to “one day be able to do two things at the same time like chew gum and walk because that’s, like… totally hard and stuff.”
    • In an effort to connect more with their fans, several musical acts such as the Barenaked Ladies and Lynyrd Skynyrd have been hosting cruises where the bands are the main attraction.  Lynyrd Skynyrd reportedly signed on to do a cruise when their plan to perform on a long distance flight went down in flames.
    • And finally today, MTV, the once-vaunted music channel that doesn’t feel the need to broadcast music anymore, is looking to steal some thunder from popular social networks like MySpace and YouTube.  The poorly aging network is readying plans to build three different websites, aimed at children, teenagers and young adults in an attempt to reach a wider audience. One insider described the direction as a way to “collect a ton of underage ass in one spot to lure the lucrative ‘internet predator’ demographic.”
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    That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

    (Compiled by J. Allen)

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  • Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/7/2007

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    The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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    • There’s always room for slow motion videos, right? (Thingamabob)
    • Would you beileve that, in 1986, the Russians produced an adaptation of Dr. Seuss’s 1948 book Thidwick the Big-Hearted Moose? (Thingamabob)
    • The Monkees’ “Randy Scouse Git”… (Thingamabob)

    Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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  • Nocturnal Admissions: DVD Review Peter Pan

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    Pan box

    From Jean Seberg to transsexualism, Walt Disney’s Peter Pan has probably had the biggest Influence of all his films. If you include the tradition of women playing Peter Pan, than J. M. Barrie’s play may be the most influential art work of the 20th century.

    Pan Wendy

    I recall being obsessed with it as a kid and today I can’t remember why. Re-seeing it in DVD form after so many years I get a strange Proustian hit over the bomb in the ticking alarm clock (and clocks and time are a theme in the show), but it is a feeling, a mental atmosphere, a cloud of emotion, more than a tangible or solid memory. When, in the post hippie, early feminist era, women began wearing their hair short, a la Jean Seberg in Breathless, I attributed it to the precedent of Peter Pan (not Wendy). And isn’t Woody Allen’s title What’s Up, Tiger Lily an evocation of the Disney movie’s comic alien and shipboard hazards?

    Pan Hook

    One of the clever things about the film is that, as the supplementary material reminds us, the crocodile is the real villain. Captain Hook is a cowardly fop, whose Dickensianly named assistant Smee, serves to make him seem slightly more masculine. And for a short movie (77 minutes) a lot happens in it. The Darling family life is set up briskly. The flight to Never Land feels like a real escape. In Never Land there are pirates, caves, Indians (unfortunate, that), ships, gang planks, and more and more and more. To a tiny mind learning to absorb story, it must have seemed like an epic. Spielberg and Lucas have been trying to remake it, literally and figuratively, for decades.

    Pan Bell

    It’s great to get re-acquainted with it. Disney DVD’s two disc Platinum Edition hits the street on Tuesday, March 6, 2007, for $29.95. It boasts a new digital full frame restoration with DD 5.1 (along with a restored version of the original track), French and Spanish audio tracks, and subtitles.

    First off, you are greeted by the choice of Fast Play or menu options. Fast Play simply starts the trailers and movie; to get anything else you need the menu. The animated, musical menu offers 31 chapter scene selection.

    Pan real Tinker

    Supplements on disc one begin with the audio commentary track, hosted by Roy Disney, who says correctly that Peter Pan represents Disney animation at the height of its “second golden age,” and joined by Leonard Maltin, animators Mark Davis, Ollie Johnston, Frank Thomas, and Ward Kimble, and voices and models Kathryn Beaumont (Wendy Darling) and Margaret Kerry (the leggy, buxom lass who served as the physical model for Tinker Bell), authors Jeff Kurdy and John Canemaker, and finally Walt Disney himself in oral history excerpts, in which he bemoans the “failure” of Alice in Wonderland, and confesses that, “I’m corny enough I want to be hit right here in the heart.” Alice, it turns out, didn’t have “any heart,” and one of the animators on the yak track feels that Disney blamed them for that.

    In other supplements, you can play the film’s five official songs, with optional follow along lyrics, read or have read to you “Peter’s Playful Prank,” a digitalized version of the Golden Book version of the movie, and see a sneak peek of the forthcoming Tinker Bell spinoff, presumably straight to video.

    Finally (actually first, as they are the first thing you see) are trailers for
    Jungle Book 40th anniversary, Meet the Robinsons, a forthcoming mix of computer generated and drawn, Peter Pan in Return to Never Land, the straight to video sequel, and the new Tinker Bell.

    As often happens, by the time you get to the second disc, DVD contents begin to feel thin and repetitious. Disc two is divided into four parts: Music, Backstage, Games, and Peter Pan’s Virtual Flight. That last item is a nothing, a three or four minute computer generated tour of the film’s unpopulated settings.

    I barely looked at the Games section which has “Read Along Peter Pan,” “Camp Never Land: Train To Be a Lost Boy,” “Smee’s Sudoku Challenge,” “Tarrrget Practice,” and “Tink’s Fantasy Flight,” which I tried to play but couldn’t figure out.

    Music contains a pirate song deleted from the film, or more precisely never shot, an interview with composer Richard Sherman who resurrected an unfinished song, wrote it up, and which we hear in a music video sung by Paige O’Hara. Finally, the Disney Channel’s T-Squad offer a music video of “The Second Star to the Right.”

    Pan Walt

    Backstage Disney offers up “You Can Fly: The Making of Peter Pan” (15:55), a modern making of; “In Walt’s Words: ‘Why I Made Peter Pan’” (7:41), a reading of an article that appeared in something called Brief magazine around the time the movie came out, and which is surely not really “in Walt’s own words,” but ghosted by a staff writer; “Tinker Bell: A Fairy’s Tale,” (8:27) an account of the fairy’s role in the Disney universe, from Disneyland gatekeeper to inspiration for subsequent “take charge” Disney dames; “The Peter Pan that Almost Was” (21:01), which offers variations on the finished film (Pan was supposed to be Disney’s second feature, but the war intervened; in one variation, Nana goes to Never Land); Art Galleries (Visual Development, David Hall Concept Art, Mary Blair Concept Art, Character Design, Storyboard Art, Layouts and Backgrounds, Production Photos, Live Action Reference, and Publicity), and “The Peter Pan Story,” a black and white promotional film from 1952 (12:04).

    Pan title

    Inserted into the box is a thick promotional catalog of Disney wares, and a six page and not completely helpful guide to the DVD (it doesn’t list the yak track participants).

  • Keneteph’s Korner: Lisa Murray – Reachin’ For The Sky with Skylife

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    Reachin’ For The Sky with Skylife

    keneteph2007-03-06-01.jpgMost people only see the end result of a big accomplishment – whether it was the invention of the wheel, the light bulb, or even the internet. They don’t see the hard work, heartache, and failures that go into creating something great. In an effort to give people a better understanding of the path go-getters take, independent filmmaker Lisa Murray has begun a documentary showing the drive people have in manifesting their destiny. I Have Dreams – Dammit, released by her company, Skylife Productions, walks the viewers through the lives of dream pursuers and the resilience that carries them to their destination. “After coming against my own obstacles, in my pursuit of being a filmmaker, I decided to make this film in hopes to influence those who where going after their own dreams to stay motivated,” Murray stated.

    So far the film’s trailer has received great reviews on the On The Lot website. The website was set up for a new reality TV series by Mark Burnett and Steven Spielberg for indie filmmakers. I Have Dreams – Dammit is still in production, but is the first of many projects to come from Lisa Murray. This also is not the first project she’s received rave reviews for. Her short film, Free Hugs in Hollywood, was featured on Yahoo!’s homepage this past December and has received over 380,000 views. In the video Murray displays how the simple act of giving one a hug can be exactly what’s needed to brighten one’s day.

    keneteph2007-03-06-02.jpgIn watching her videos, I couldn’t help but feel that Murray’s work has an authenticity to it that can truly change the world for the better. Her vision and determination is the touch of wholesome flavor the film industry needs in order to serve viewers a complete artistic meal. She is very one on one with her fans and constantly updates her video blogs, giving her personal perspective on the progression of her work. Still keeping her journey in perspective she stated, “I use my obstacles to push me forward, so I can move out of my own comfort zone, and accomplish what I need to.” Folks can still view and rate her trailer on the On The Lot website, and can hear more of her perspective and progress of the film on her You Tube Video Blogs.

    More info can be found out about her company at www.skylifeproductions.com.

    Copyright 2007 Keneteph Entertainment

  • QSE News: 3/6/2007

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    Here are today’s top entertainment headlines:

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    • Monday marked the 25th anniversary of the passing of legendary comedian John Belushi.  Belushi, who died of a drug overdose at the age of 33, was best known for his stint on Saturday Night Live, as well as the films Animal House and The Blues Brothers.  In related News, Monday also marked the 17th anniversary of… (please select appropriate joke):
      1) John’s brother, Jim Belushi, actually being a part of something newsworthy.
      2) John’s brother, Jim Belushi, actually being funny.
      3) The death of Jim Belushi’s acting career.
    • According to front man Chris Martin, Coldplay has written a “brilliant” new song. This statement comes in contradiction to comments made by his wife, Gwyneth Paltrow , who said the song is “OK, but no where as important or as brilliant as my Oscar winning performance in Shakespeare in Love.”  Paltrow also added that she was disappointed to hear that her husband was talking to the media again without her permission.
    • Jared Leto, actor and lead singer of 30 Seconds to Mars, was injured during a performance this past weekend. Leto broke his nose and sustained other injuries when he ran into the crowd while singing “The Kill.” Fortunately, Leto’s mascara – or “guy-liner,” as it’s better known in the emo scene – remained intact.
    • Britney Spears has revealed herself as the Antichrist. While in rehab, Spears allegedly ran around the facility with the number 666 scribbled on her forehead shouting “I’m the Antichrist.” The only thing we here at QSE can add is… we totally [EXPLETIVE DELETED] knew it!
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    That’s all for today’s news, stay tuned to this channel for all the news that matters least but you still care about.

    (Compiled by J. Allen)

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  • Quick Stop Thingamabobs: 3/6/2007

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    The web. It’s a big place, full of plenty of distractions ““ some funny, some informative, some ludicrous, some disturbing, some inane, some profound. Each and every weekday, we present links to a few of our favorite finds”¦

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    • The late, great Moe Howard guesting on the Mike Douglas Show, with Soupy Sales in tow… (Thingamabob)
    • The Hays Code and its effect on cartoons – “Cover those udders, Flossie!”… (Thingamabob)
    • If any of our Japanese readers would like to send a set of these in to us at Quick Stop, we’d be very appreciative… (Thingamabob)
    • Gonzo’s “Jamboree,” from The Muppet Show… Chocolate Cakes! (Thingamabob)

    Have a THINGAMABOB? Send it in!

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  • Scrubs Blog: My Creepy Picture Contest

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    BLOG TRIVIA: “My Creepy Picture Contest” ““
    So, you think you’re king of Scrubs trivia? Think you know the show backwards and forwards? Well, this it the contest for you!

    We’ve digitally removed the heads from 65 characters in the screen grabs below. Your task is to tell who the characters are, and what episode the screen grab is from.

    If that seems a daunting challenge, don’t worry ““ just try and get as many as you can, as we’ll be randomly picking 3 winners from those entries that get the most answers correct.

    And what do you win, you ask? Well, the fabulous prize package shall remain a mystery… Who knows, you may even be consulted on what your prize may be! Either way, if you’ve seen what we’ve given away in the past, you know it’s going to be amazing.

    To enter, you need to send your answers in numerical order to scrubstrivia@gmail.com. You must use the name of the episodes ““ *no production numbers* – and the answers must be in the body of your e-mail (NO ATTACHMENTS!)…

    EXAMPLE:

    1. The Todd ““ “My Fake, Made-Up Episode”
    2. J.D. ““ “My Really Fake, Still Made-Up Episode”
    3. Dr. Kelso ““ “My Exceptionally Fake, Totally Made-Up Episode”


    Also, your entry must include your name and mailing address.

    There is only one entry per person, and all entries must be submitted no later than 11:59pm on Monday, March 19th. This contest *is* open to overseas fans, as well.

    Good luck, and get crackin’!

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  • SModcast 4

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    SModcast is the meandering palaver of a pair of dudes whose voices are so dull, they don’t deserve to be on the radio (and, hence, aren’t). Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier are SModcast.

    The best thing about SModcast? It don’t cost nothing.

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    SModcast 4: Can I Get a (Masturbatory) Witness? –

    In which our heroes talk results, regrets, and rejoicements in relation to the Academy Awards, name-drop Scorsese like it’ll get ’em laid, struggle to remember Illeana Douglas’s name, reminisce about celebrity sightings and marvel over the need of the famous to eat, crack on “Krull”, ruminate on the men they’d concede to being rump-wrangled by, reveal the secret origin of Mos’s middle initial, talk mysticism, Indian fakirs and Jesus’s junk, bitch about why “In Search Of”¦” would never work in the age of the internet, discuss Mos’s directorial aspirations, and unmask Kev’s deepest shame (of the week).

    [CONTENT WARNING] SModcast features harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Listener discretion is advised.

    DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
    SModcast 4 (MP3 format) – 58.47 MB

    [display_podcast]

    SUBSCRIBE
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    Wanna add your two cents? Spend it here, in the SModcast mailbag.

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    CLICK HERE FOR THE SMODCAST ARCHIVES

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