Welcome to our weekly round-up of featured giveaways here at Quick Stop. Every Wednesday, we’ll present a new clutch of DVDs, books, and other cool stuff you can take a shot at winning. All you have to do is click on the graphics below to be taken to their respective contest pages. And good luck!
BURBANK — There’s a black hole sucking up all the stars. Who could have imagined in such a short period of time we’d lose Dom DeLuise, Bea Arthur, J.G. Ballard and Danny Gans? Was there enough pages in People magazine give proper remembrance to these dearly departed? All the pages written by Proust wouldn’t cover their greatness.
Dom DeLuise is the one closeSt to me. He’s responsible for getting me into the wild world of showbiz. He didn’t merely inspire me with his work on The End and Lotsa Luck. I really did work for him one summer.
Dom was doing his best to lose weight at Duke’s Diet Center. He’d signed on to be the host of a revived Candid Camera. The producers shot his gotcha bits in Raleigh. They needed a local crew and I ended up with my first production assistant gig. After working way too many flunky jobs, the life of a P.A. was a major upgrade. The greatest thing about true showbiz work is that they feed you. No clocking out for lunch and burning your paycheck on food. They ordered it up and served it without docking your wages. They also provided snacks and drinks for free. Forget the guidance counselor, let your stomach let you know what’s your true profession. The only downside was anyone was caught eating around Dom would be fired. No second warning. Nobody had a problem with that rule. There was no need to tease Dom with a Snickers bar. This wasn’t nearly as harsh as being told on the set of Matlock that you’ll be fired if you make eye contact with Andy Griffith.
Dom was rather easy to be around. He wasn’t uptight like some talent. As a comic, he was more annoying than funny. I found myself laughing or mostly smiling at his jokes so that he didn’t try harder. It was like being stuck in the blooper reel of Cannonball Run II.
Dom wasn’t too fussy during the gags. He rolled with the unsuspecting victims. He approved of my alteration of a set up. They were going to see how far they could take a funeral director when it came to setting up outrageous plans. The Hollywood braintrust had a lame list of “can I get this….” as Dom was making arrangements for a dear friend. I suggested that the joke is that the Dom’s friend wants to be buried in his car. The twist is that the guy was a devoted carpooler and wants three other people buried in the car with him. The thing we discovered was funeral home directors won’t say no and don’t have a sense of humor. Dom said, “Smile, you’re on Candid Camera.” The funeral home director read Dom the riot act. The piece crashed and burned. We canceled all the other funeral directors. My shot at writing Smokey and the Bandit V fizzled.
Burt Reynolds was supposed to drop by for a segment. I suggested Dom and Burt sell tubesocks out of a van in the hopes of raising enough money for Cannonball Run III. How will the fans react to their stars being reduced down to street side merchants? The producers seemed open to concept, but Burt never made it to town. Dom did appreciate me joking that Burt and Loni shared custody of him. Burt got him for TV shows and Loni for movies of the week.
One morning Dom was outraged that one of his kids had run up a huge phone bill calling 976 pay numbers. I’m not sure which kid or what service. Could have been the Twin Peaks clue line. I calmed Dom by explaining that he merely had to tell the phone company that the calls were made without his knowledge. The phone company would block his phone from dialing those numbers and drop the charges. The next day he showed up at location and thanked me for saving him a small fortune.
My most lasting memory of Dom was at the end of the last day. We were wrapping up the cables. Dom took a long stare at me and announced to all, “Joe, you look like an axe murderer.”
That time I laughed. Cause he might have been right.
THE OTHER OBITS
Bea Arthur’s passing means I’ll have to find a new punchline. She was a sweet woman with the most iconic mustache this side of Rollie Fingers. Mostly I’ll remember her for those massive vest coats she wore as Maude. With the passing of Bea, Suzanne Pleshette and Brett Somers, our daughters will have no broads to idolize. Sony really needs to get the other four seasons of Maude out on DVD.
Perhaps the most disappointing death belongs to J.G. Ballard. The novelist defined the primal nature in a high tech world with High Rise and the Concrete Island. He wrote some of the most amazing deaths in his books. Why didn’t the author of Crash go out with a major bang? He still could have slammed his car into Elizabeth Taylor’s limo while masturbating behind the wheel? He could have taken out Bea Arthur.
Upon hearing that Danny Gans died, I pondered if he had tapped too deep into his George Burns impersonation. Danny was a Las Vegas creation. No matter where you go in Vegas, there’s his face on billboards, taxicab roofs and bathroom stall doors. A tourist visiting Sin City for the first time always wondered why was Gans hailed as “Las Vegas Entertainer of the Year?” He was a mystery wrapped in an enigma with a sold out run at the Mirage. Turns out his show had him doing musical impersonations. He was like a singing Frank Gorshin. The old people liked him. Steve Wynn supposedly paid the guy $200 million to move to his Encore hotel. On my last trip to Vegas, I tramped through the Mirage to pay homage to the Danny Gans theater (he hadn’t gone across the street). The show was nearly over. The usher asked if I wanted to sneak inside to see the finale. She wanted me to experience Danny. I couldn’t go cause the wife was in the bathroom and by the time she got out, the crowd was departing. But it felt good to know that the people who worked for Danny didn’t treat it as a job, but an avocation. She wanted me to get a tiny piece of the Gans magic. Now Danny Gans is gone. Siegfried and Roy have also left the Strip. What remains in Vegas are anonymous Cirque De Soleil shows and Criss Angel. As much as people enjoyed poking fun at Danny Gans, they respected his ability to fill the seats. He knew how to make people feel lucky enough to gamble. That’s what makes you a star in Vegas.
YOU’RE A WHAT?
Anyone else wondering why NBC is allowed to call their upcoming reality show I’m A Celebrity….Get Me Out of Here. They stick Heidi Montage, Spencer Pratt, John Salley, Janice Dickinson, Sanjaya and a Baldwin not named Alec on an island to see which can survive. Why? These people are barely stars on their grandmother’s refrigerator doors. They’re merely famous for milking their barely worthy fame. If NBC wants people to tune in, they need to change the name to Cannibal Island. The vision of Heidi and Spencer being turned into human stew makes me set the VCR at SP speed in my mind. Joel McHale agrees with this concept. Don’t network executives realize that we like the threat of cannibals? The ratings were high when we thought the Others on Lost were cannibals out to eat babies. Soon as the whole cannibal threat level dropped, the ratings hit rock bottom. The winner would be Janice Dickinson since any smart cannibal knows it’s not safe to eat silicon.
BLU-RAY HEAVEN
Star Trek: The Original Motion Picture Collection – Blu-ray contains the first six films featuring Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, Bones, Scotty, Chekov, Sulu and Uhura. Now you can see the final frontier in high def quality. Star Trek: The Motion Picture brought the TV series to the big screen nearly a decade after it was canceled. The group is reunited to intercept a strange object named V’Ger coming towards Earth. The big shocker is Lt. Ilia (Persis Khambatta) looking sexy with a bald head. It’s a so-so return. The Wrath of Khan is the film that really made this series matter. Ricardo Montalban (Fantasy Island) returns as Khan, the outlaw leader from “Space Seed.” He’s decided to get his revenge on Kirk. There’s great ass kicking action. Mr. Spock does the unspeakable at the end. This is ultimately the best of the Star Trek films. The Search For Spock continues the adventure from the last film. Kirk has to hijack the Enterprise to reunite Spock. Things get nasty when they run into Klingons. Will he get back with his Vulcan friend? The Voyage Home has Kirk and the crew going back in time to snag humpback whales and save future Earth. This one is more cute than exciting with Spock trying to not like a freak in 1980s San Francisco. The Final Frontier is the most painful of the bunch. Why? Because they let William Shatner direct it. Supposedly the Enterprise is going to the edge of space to meet God. I still have trauma from Nichelle Nichols’ erotic dance to distract the enemy. Seeing it in Blu-ray didn’t make it anymore appealing. The Undiscovered Country salvaged the movie series so it didn’t end up on a bad note. The Klingons are finally willing to play nice and join the Federation. However the signing ceremony hits a snag that sends Kirk and Bones to a prison planet. This is a proper send off to the original cast as full time crew members. The big bonus feature is a 70 minute chat with William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Patrick Stewart and Jonathan Frakes. Whoopi Goldberg hosts the roundtable discussion between the Enterprise top men over two shows. Wrath of Khan looks the best of the transfers on the HD set. No matter what the Onion says, not all the Star Trek movies were dull with people always talking and sitting around tables.
Grease: Rockin’ Rydell Edition – Blu-Ray will be the reason wives buy Blu-ray players as a Father’s Day gifts. This was the musical sensation that notched up ’50s nostalgia during the era of Happy Days and American Graffiti. The high definition transfers is a galactic leap over the grainy pan and scan copy that gets shown on VH1. The 1080p picture exposes the detail of the John Travolta’s slicked back hairdo. The cinemascope image lets you bask in the swivel action of the dancers. The final dance moment when Olivia Newton-John appears stitched into that black outfit will make you thankful for the extra resolution power of Blu-ray. The bonus features include stuff from the previous edition. There’s even more including a commentary track with Director Randal Kleiser and Choreographer Patricia Birch. What will get the ladies going nuts is “Grease on DVD Launch Party.” This isn’t the usual schmooze fest. Olivia Newton-John and Travolta climb up on stage and sing the hits with the band. There will be squealing in the house. Ultimately this version of Grease answers my prayer for a chance to see Sha-Na-Na with maximum detail. Bowzer is finally lifelike on the screen.
Saturday Night Fever: 30th Anniversary Special Collector’s Edition – Blu-ray truly captures the greatest movie of all time for the ultimate home video experience. People talk about getting lost in a film. Seeing Saturday Night Fever in Hi-Def lets my eyes step through the screen. The background details are stunning in the transfer making the paint store, the disco, the dance studio and Tony Manero’s bedroom real. They’re no longer fuzzy like on my battered VHS copy. You can slip into the image and the action after a few gin and tonics. Snobs discount SNF as merely a disco movie with the mirror ball and lighted dance floor. I say that this is an anti-disco film. While SNF did launch the greatest disco record of all time, the ending lets us know that this environment stifles creativity. John Travolta learns that while he thinks he’s a great dancer, he’s merely a slave to the 4/4 beat. Is he willing to flee his safety zones of the 2001 Odyssey disco and Brooklyn to let his talent flourish in Manhattan? The bonus features include a nearly hour long documentary about making the film. John Travolta didn’t have time to chat on camera, but Troma icon Lloyd Kaufman makes up for his absence. In “Back to Bayridge,” Joseph Cali (Joey) gives us a walk around the neighborhood to show us what’s changed and stayed the same in Brooklyn. There’s sad news about the disco. There’s also three deleted scenes which didn’t need to be in the film. Saturday Night Fever dazzles on Blu-ray.
Dexter The Complete Second Season – Blu-ray takes the Showtime series continues to make the audience root for a serial killer roaming the streets of Miami. Dexter isn’t just an ordinary killer since he’s employed by the police as their blood splatter expert. He picks his victims from the truly guilty. After the trauma of the Ice Truck, he’s lost his blood lust. Is he going to go straight? However his life gets complicated when his underwater garden is uncovered. The FBI sends down their top serial killer investigator played by Keith Carradine. Before he can uncover Dexter, Keith sniffs a trail to Dexter’s sister (Jennifer Carpenter). The tension between Dexter and Sgt. Doakes (Erik King) hits a new high. These is more fascinating than the first season. The high definition image gives us a good sense of the sweat and blood in this Southern crime thriller. Top indie directors such as Keith Gordon, Nick Gomez and Tony Goldwyn keep the splatter at a premium. Most of the bonus features are available via Blu-ray Live. Michael C. Hall makes us embrace what should be the most unlikable of characters. Dexter is the best series on cable since The Wire.
DVD SHELF
Jake and the Fatman: Season Two brings a taste of pineapple to the crime series. After the first season in Los Angeles, the producers relocated the gruff DA (William Conrad) and his chief investigator (Joe Penny) to Honolulu. The pilot movie has a murder being arrange by Wo Fat (Khigh Dhiegh) of Hawaii Five-O fame. Jake’s friend is shot down. It’s up to him and the Fatman to expose the killer. During the investigation, the Fatman becomes the D.A. in Honolulu. Is it really that easy to snag that job? Michael Madsen plays a counterfeiter in “Snowfall.” Who knew he was once a picture of youth. “Poor Butterfly” has the top hookers of Hawaii in 1989. There’s a lot of bad fashion in this episode with big hair and bad lace. The mean pimp wears a gray Cosby sweater. How can a man intimidate a prostitute with a Cosby sweater? I can’t help laughing at Joe Penny’s acid washed jeans. Did he really think he was cool in that wardrobe? William Conrad looks extra gruff on the island. It’s a miracle the natives don’t sacrifice virgins to his round God gut. There’s only 10 episodes this strike shortened season. The action isn’t too rough and won’t startle you grandmother.
Penn & Teller B.S.!: The Complete Sixth Season is another Showtime series worth the price of the channel. The comic magicians Penn & Teller don’t mind digging for the truth and exposing the nutjobs on another 10 episodes. “The War on Porn” reminds us that there is no real correlation between adult entertainment and sex crimes. The folks fighting adult films are shown as making up connections. My fellow Raleighite Brandi Love gets to show off her website talents as she reminds us that good porn is a nice release. Plus you can be educated on new positions. “Dolphins” is disturbing as freaks swear these water mammals are able to deliver your baby. Another couple make money teaching people to channel their inner-dolphin. Penn reminds us that dolphins are known for killing porpoises for no reason other than hate. “Sensitivity Training” should be required viewing for that office jerk who declares all the employees need sensitivity training. Penn shows that it’s a scam run by snakeoil salesmen. Penn & Teller: B.S.: The Complete Sixth Season should be viewed by anyone addicted to the Daily Show.
A Baby Story: First Time Parents Edition is perfect viewing if you’re a month away from your first born. You can read all the expecting parent books, but seeing moms pump out the baby while the dad looks completely confused is more educational. Each episode follows a couple in the final weeks of pregnancy. As someone going through this process, it’s easy to relate to their experiences. You see a few women hit the raging hormone stage. You learn quickly to do whatever it takes to calm them down. It will pass if they don’t hit you with a frying pan. There’s a raw nature to the production. They don’t make the babies pop out like cast members of The Hills. We learn that no matter how much planning and prep, the baby will do it their way. Unless you have a C-section. If you’re thinking about getting knocked up this summer, this is necessary viewing for seeing what’s going to happen. There will be pain.
Russell Brand In New York City: Extended and Uncensored still leaves me wondering about the hot new comic from England. He comes off as a wicked kind of guy with his spindly body and huge blown out hair. He dares to talk dirty about his famous pals. But can we trust him to remain funny? For this hour long special, he tears into the truth of his semi-disastrous hosting of the MTV VMAs. He was more excited to see an elephant than Britney Spears. He recounts the Jonas Brothers debacle. His monologue from the MTV event is included. The only thing I fear is that he’s the English Dane Cook with his body moves. The DVD doesn’t bleep out the stuff that was too much for the censors at Comedy Central. You also get a couple bonus routines about drunk girls and being English in New York City.
Jon & Kate Plus Eight: Season 4, The Wedding has come out at a strange time for this large family. There’s a point where the reality of reality stars forces you to review their show for evidence of headlines to come. In this case it’s the recent tabloid covers about how Jon Goselin was caught leaving a bar with a young lady. None of that is covered here. Although if you’re a fan of The Soup, you’ll realize why Jon might be caught at 2 a.m. with a strange woman. “Boys Day Out” has Jon taking his three sons to the golf course. Kate and the girls make something called monkey mulch. This doesn’t contain any actual monkey parts. “Sextuplets’ 4th Birthday” has the six kids get to decorate their own cupcakes. Mom doesn’t want them to eat them until after dinner. What are the odds of that happening? The big highlight of the show is a trip to Hawaii with the couple renewing their vows in front of the 8 kids. In light of the recent headlines, you’ll be working the slo-motion button the DVD remote to see if Jon is looking to bolt.
Sister Sister: The Second Season continues the fun of recently reunited twins who force their adoptive parents to become a couple. It’s fun to see Tim Reid (WKRP in Cincinnati) forced to be nice with Jackee (227). “Hair Today” deals with the sad truth about what happens when one twin gets the makeover while the sister is her normal self. “Get a Job” forces the twins to work at a hamburger joint and Tim’s limo company. The each twin tries to juggle two shifts. This plot will soon be recycled on a Disney tween show. “Free Billy” has the girls trying to liberate a showbiz pig. I’d liberate that pig into my breakfast. The final episode has Tim finally asking Jackee to marry him so they can be a real family and not merely roommates.
Welcome to our weekly round-up of featured giveaways here at Quick Stop. Every Wednesday, we’ll present a new clutch of DVDs, books, and other cool stuff you can take a shot at winning. All you have to do is click on the graphics below to be taken to their respective contest pages. And good luck!
BRONX – This was supposed to be an interview with world famous chef Marco Pierre White. Ever since NBC announced he was hosting Chopping Block, the Party Favors staff was in overdrive sucking up to the network publicity people to spend precious minutes with White. The guy is a culinary god and readers want to know why black rice is so forbidden.
After a bout of begging that is reserved for getting off death row, the network told us that there would be no interview. After watching the premiere of Chopping Block, it quickly became apparent why Marco Pierre White wasn’t eager to spend hours working the phone to hype the show. It was a lame disaster. Instead of making Marco a household personality like Gordon Ramsay’s various shows, Chopping Block made Marco look like a massive douchebag who dressed like a villain on Miami Vice played by Joe Cocker..
Versions of the series worked around the globe. They put together 8 couples to run two rival restaurants. The last couple standing get their restaurant dream fulfilled. How could the American take of the series be such an utter failure? Ultimately there’s three reasons why a reality show goes bust: Casting, Casting and Casting.
There’s two types of people that you cast on a cooking show. The first are people who are extremely talented. They are magicians in the kitchen. Even with the inability to smell or taste their food, a viewer gets hungry. These wizards end up on Top Chef and Iron Chef. The second group of people that get cast are complete morons who swear they’d be an Iron Chef if Bobby Flay hadn’t been scared of their mac and cheese. These folks can barely run a soft serve ice cream machine. But they view themselves as God’s gift to culinary skills. They don’t handle criticism well because anyone who disagrees is a jealous bitch. These people end up on Hell’s Kitchen.
Unfortunately neither of these two groups were cast on Chopping Block. We were given eight couples who had no business running a hotdog cart let alone a fine dining establishment in Manhattan. Under no circumstances did you copy their recipes let alone pay top dollar for their meals. What makes the show completely horrible is that they are timid and meek. They quiver when Marco Pierre White enters the room. Nobody is cocky enough to say, “This is how we do it in America, soccer boy!” These are not compelling people working the pots and pans. There’s one old guy who looks like Bruce Dern if he’d work at the post office. They are forgettable in words, action and attitude.
The producers needed to cast people who had run restaurants that had received praise from major foodie publication, but had closed for various reasons. These people would been excited with a chance to get in the game. They know the price and they’re willing to pay twice as much. They’ll also get nasty because they won’t let some other jerk derail them with a bloody chicken breast. The people on Chopping Block were hobbyists and not chefs. They won’t break out in tears and beg Marco Pierre White to send them home cause they haven’t the heart to work the line.
At least the embarrassment for Marco Pierre White has been cut short. After only three episodes of what should be a 7 show run, NBC yanked Chopping Block off the schedule. Not much of a surprise although the network did burn all the episodes of Kath and Kim. How did this show with so many lame issues even get an airdate? NBC’s cable channel Bravo would have never cast these people for their competition shows. Why did the mother network approve? They should have picked diamond personalities for the major leagues. They could have retread a few folks from Top Chef.
Who could have approved this project and put it on the schedule? Perhaps it would be a man who says, “I don’t think we’ll ever be able to say, ‘NBC is No. 1 in prime time.’” That debbie downer would be Jeff Zucker, the head of NBC-Universal. Did you know that when he graduated from his job at the Today Show, Zucker was running the #1 network in primetime? And what has he done since those early years in 2000 when he was given the keys to the Rolls Royce? He’s refused to check the oil. He allowed the network to become a laughing stock with revivals of The Bionic Woman and Knight Rider.. He got a minor hit off Deal or No Deal and overloaded the slate with more arena gameshows. On many nights, the network is #5 behind Univision. The USA channel (part of NBC-U) garners higher ratings than many NBC shows.
Why can’t this man get NBC back to #1 in the ratings? It doesn’t take that much effort. This is not like a community college football coach accepting the reality that his flag football team won’t be playing in the BCS Championship game against Florida. There’s only three other networks. It’s musical chairs except you can’t win if you’re crying in a bathroom stall while the music plays. Any other big cheese would have his ass thrown out the door for admitting defeat and not even making an effort to turn around the network’s fortunes. All Zucker can do is expand The Today Show and slide Leno into primetime. Has this peacock any pride?
What’s interesting is that NBC’s family of cable channels are doing great. Why? Perhaps less Zucker is best Zucker when it comes to success. The star of Fat Actress was asked about the suits in charge of the non-network programming. “If these channels weren’t as successful as they are, I’d have to get involved more. But I’d be stupid if I spent my time telling them what they’re doing wrong, because they’re not doing much wrong.” Because having Zucker more involved has done wonders for NBC. Does the board of directors not notice that the most successful division is the one he doesn’t touch? People are getting fired every day in this recession. Why is working?
He ought to be arrested for what he did to Marco Pierre White’s reputation in America.
FESTIVAL TIME
The Full Frame Documentary Film Festival takes place this week (April 2 -5) in Durham. Last’s years festival featured several of the eventual Oscar nominees including the winner Man on Wire.. This is my favorite of film festivals since they serve Eastern NC pork BBQ during the award ceremony. Everybody is a winner with vinegar based BBQ.
The films that I’ve been tipped to see include Bitch Academy about a school in St. Petersburg that teaches young Russian girls to be vixens. Carmen Meets Borat tells the sad story of the Romanian girl who thought she was going to be a star after appearing in Sacha Baron Cohen’s film. “Saint Misbehavin’: The Wavy Gravy Movie” explains who a guy at Woodstock became an ice cream flavor. “Yes Men Fix the World” bring back the high level pranksters that dare to shake up the corporate system. “Zidane: A 21st Century Portrait” is Darius Khondji’s view of the soccer great who headbutted himself out of a World Cup.
If you’re in the Durham, please drop on by. Details and screening times can be found at www.fullframefest.org. If you’re really quiet and discrete, you can watch D.A. Pennebaker holding court.
FEUD UPDATE
After last year’s tiff with Blockbuster’s CEO Jim Keyes, his stock dropped to 13 cents a share. Way to prove me that you’re a turnaround genius. It should be noted that the guy did clear $8.4 million while running a company whose stock is currently trading for less than any of the candy they sell at the register.
LAND OF THE LOSERS
I was actually looking forward to the big screen remake of Land of the Lost. The old show is still hilarious to watch at 2 a.m. with a buzz in my head. How could having Danny McBride and Will Ferrell fall down that waterfall not lead to anachronistic funny? The answer is simple. Will is not Danny’s father and the Holly character is not the daughter. The trailer gives us a film that’s all about Will’s feud with The Today Show‘s Matt Lauer. The fight isn’t nearly as good as Bob Barker busting up Adam Sandler in Happy Gilmore. Another major warning sign is that Brad Silerling is directing. This is man who sucked the soul from Wings of Desire when he hacked it into City of Angels.
Land of the Lost is shaping up to be this summer’s Speed Racer. They better have more Chaka in it.
WHO WAS WHERE?
Anyone else shocked and disgusted that Salman Rushdie was at Perez Hilton’s birthday party? Mr. Serious Literature was rubbing elbows with the Queen of All Media. Why? Does Salman Rushdie have any shame? Or is he in maximum media whore overdrive? Was he trying to pick up Tara Reid by pointing out he was married to Padma from Top Chef? Was he explaining how the lyrics of the Jonas Brothers rival Keats?
When the Ayatollah Khomeini declared a fatwa on Rushdie, we supported this guy. Nobody wanted to see him die for writing The Satanic Verses. But now I wonder what was the point in protecting Rushdie if he’s going to rub shoulders with a man who draws cum and penises on celeb’s faces. Maybe Salman hopes that Perez will uncover nip slips from Padma?
IF YOU ACT NOW
Anyone else pumped up to see Billy Mays star in “Pitchman” on the Discovery channel starting April 15? I’m so thrilled that we’ll get an entire episode dedicated to Mays beard maintenance regime. The big finale will be Mays flying down to Miami to help Vince clean up his image after his hooker incident.
The best reality dating show is slated to premiere this fall when TVLand presents For the Love of Ray J Johnson Jr. It’s hilarious to see how desperate these middle aged women are to hook up with the ’70s icon. At least five times each show one of them accidentally calls him Mr. Johnson. And then the funny overwhelms us: cause you can call him Ray and you can call him J and you can…..let’s go to the old beer ad:
BLU-RAY HEAVEN
Quantum of Solace Blu-ray is the natural sequel to Casino Royale. Daniel Craig’s second outing as James Bond picks up right where the last one left off. He’s zipping down a dangerous lakeside highway being chased. This sets the tempo of the film – non-stop, unrelenting action. There’s little time for quips or jokes as Bond is out for revenge against the secret organization that messed up his relationship with Vesper Lynd. Quantum consists of powerful world leaders that manipulate the world. It’s like the Illuminati. Bond sniffs out their plan to control a Latin American country by taking over the water rights. He’s got to stop the French version of Al Gore. The only goofy named Bond girl is Strawberry Fields (Gemma Arterton) which isn’t that bad since you can believe a Beatles fan would do that to their daughter. Jeffrey Wright returns as CIA agent Felix Leiter. He does need his own spin off film with Bond being the guest spy. The best way to watch Quantum of Solace is as the third act of Casino Royale. Make it a double feature and you’ll double your viewing pleasure. The 1080p image is stunning with the massive action scenes and breathtaking locations filling the widescreen. The bonus features aren’t quite up to the level of the classic Bond titles. “Crew Files” also the people on the credit roll to show off their skills.
Never Say Never Again Blu-ray reminds us that Sean Connery gave flesh to the role.. After over a decade since Diamonds Are Forever, Connery returned to the tuxedo in this non-EON produced adventure. The film is basically a remake of Thunderball with Bond out to recover nuclear warheads from SPECTRE. Connery plays Bond a little bit older. He’s not passing himself off as a spring chicken as he tracks down Largo (Klaus Maria Brandauer). Even with a little bit of grey, he’s still a stud with the ladies. He’s seducing Kim Basinger while nearly getting killed by Barbara Carrera. After years of being the bastard of Bond titles, Never Say Never Again is finally given a chance to shine. The Hi-Def transfer is cherry. You’ll want to project this big. The bonus features allow us to learn about how EON was doing its best to shut down the film in the middle of production. Who knew that Sean Connery’s biggest antagonist would be Cubby Broccoli.
James Bond Blu-Ray Volume Three provides three upgrades for the 007 fanatic. This pack includes Goldfinger, Moonraker and The World Is Not Enough. There are few third films in a series as worthy as Goldfinger. Sean Connery is completely at ease as 007. Super villain Auric Goldfinger (Gert Frobe) is obsessed with the metal. He can’t have enough of it. He prove it’s a very versatile metal when he candy coats a woman to kill her. Bond has to find out Goldfinger’s plot to dominate the gold market. Getting in his way is the henchman Oddjob (Harold Sakata) and the pilot Pussy Galore (Honor Blackman). Moonraker is Roger Moore at his goofiest. He’s got to stop a diabolical madman who wants to colonize space so that he can destroy the earth and rebuild it properly. There’s plenty of intrigue with stolen Space Shuttles. They bring back Jaws (Richard Kiel) and find him a woman. There’s more laughs than scares during the epic outer space battles. The film was Bernard Lee’s last as M. The World Is Not Enough was Pierce Brosnan’s second Bond. This is the film that demanded we believe Denise Richards (It’s Complicated) is smart enough to be a research scientist called Christmas Jones. That’s complicated. Bond gets tied into an evil plot to disrupt an oil empire controlled by Sophie Marceau. Robert Carlyle (Trainspotting) is the psychotic killer who wants to put an end to Bond and Richards. The guy wasn’t half bad in his intent. The films are packed with the bonus features that were on the Bond Ultimate Editions. The 1080p transfers are impeccable. The Technicolor on Goldfinger dazzles. This is our Raymond J. Regis memorial pick of the month!
DVD SHELF
The Girls Next Door: Season Four makes for fun awkward viewing. It was during this batch of episodes that rumors swirled that Hugh Hefner’s trio of girlfriends weren’t still sleeping in his Playboy Mansion bed. People watched the show not for the pleasure, but to be divorce detectives. Holly Madison still thinks she’s going to marry Hef and pop out his puppies. Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt are merely out to enjoy the ride. This is the season when the girls went to Alaska, Monte Carlo and Jamaica They even throw in what’s considered the first four episodes of season five. Thrill to the making of House Bunny at the Mansion with Anna Faris (Smiley Face). Bridget gets to produce her first horror film thus showing she can work a career that doesn’t involve Viagra. The best thing about watching the show on DVD is the nudity isn’t fuzzed out and there’s no commercial breaks featuring Ryan Seacrest. You’ll finally get to see Kendra’s smartest investment in motion.
Dynasty: The Fourth Season, Volume One contains another 14 episodes of the Carrington saga. Blake (John Forsythe) and Krystle (Linda Evans) finally get married. Alexis (Joan Collins) continues to be a skank when she hooks up with Dex Dexter (Michael Nader). They’re a toxic delight. One of the family bites the dust so there’s plenty of tension. The show lasted nine seasons so we’re not even halfway done yet.
Beverly Hills 90210: The Seventh Season is historic for only one reason – finally, after an act of Congress, Donna (Tori Spelling) finally loses her virginity. How shocking. America’s long national nightmare ended on that night. Even Mindy Cohn wanted Donna to just get it over and put out. However there is a serious nature to TV sex when Kelly (Jennie Garth) gets knocked up. Brandon (Jason Priestley) gets knocked loopy during a hockey fight. The kids are about to finally graduate from college this season. What will they do? Perhaps they have a graduate school at C.U.? Although it does look like Donna’s going to flunk. That’s what happens to bad girls. Only three more seasons before the entire Beverly Hills 90210 saga is on DVD.
Wings: The Final Season wraps up life at the Nantucket airport after eight seasons. Like the previous year, the first episode opens with a house fire. “Porno for Pyros” has Roma Maffia (Nip/Tuck) investigate the inferno. But the smoldering heat is coming from Tony Shalhoub (Monk). “…Like a Neighbor Scored” has Chris Elliott move next door to Tim Daly and Crystal Bernard. They try to play nice, but he’s got his own set of weird rules. It’ is Chris Elliott after all. Jenny McCarthy gives one of her early acting with clothes roles during “Maybe It’s You.” “All About Christmas Eve” rules for one reason: Abe Vigoda. You can never have enough Fish for the holidays. Larry “Bud” Melman cameos in “Escape From New York..” “Final Approach” is a two parter that brings the series to a close. I’m not going to spoil it, but the FAA did approve of the finale.
Hannah Montana Keeping It Real has Dwayne Johnson making a guest appearance. It’s a shame he’s no longer going by the Rock. Cause the Rock would have at least used the People’s Elbow on Billy Ray Cyrus. He’d yank the blond off Hannah and expose that she’s really Miley.. Dwyane Johnson can brighten up any sitcom with a guest shot. He made me watch this. There’s power in his grin. The episodes on the DVD attempt to remind us why it’s bad to use your celebrity to snag perks. There’s plenty of preview action for the upcoming Hannah Montana movie including a movie ticket good for $7.50. This means you’ll have to go to a matinee if you want to get in for free.
Donkey Punch is the first public serve announcement warning us about this sexual practice. A trio of English girls hanging out in Spain run into a pack of guys who are working on an expensive yacht. They hit the ocean for a champagne and ecstasy free for all. Which starts out to be a good idea. When the pills kick in, the party takes over the master bedroom. There’s some good loving going on. But things go bad when one of the boys decides to test out the Donkey Punch technique.. Basically this involves punching a woman in the back of the head right before she climaxes. Is this really a fad? I’d guess the average woman would rather receive a Cleveland Steamer than a Donkey Punch. In the movie, there’s a very negative consequence to the girl who receives the head blow. It basically kills the party spirit. Things get uglier and uglier as the guys attempt to figure out how to cover this incident up. The girls fear for their survival. It’s a free for all during the long dark night. The film reminds me once more why partying on strange boats is never a good idea no matter how primo the promised drugs. Donkey Punch delivers what it promises – a seductive and scary cruise.
Shuttle is a scary film for anyone hanging out at an airport. Peyton List and Cameron Goodman are returning from a vacation in Mexico. They save a few bucks by grabbing a discount shuttle that’s going to take them into downtown Boston. As part of the get what you pay for nightmare, it turns out their shuttle driver (Tony Curran) is a psychotic. He takes everyone hostage. Nobody is quite sure what he’s really after except expressing his sadistic delight. This is perhaps the scariest trip from Logan Airport that didn’t involve my grandfather at the wheel. The man drifted lanes on bridges. Shuttle keeps pouring on the pressure. It’s a nightmare for the girls. The only letdown is that there’s no talk about Manny. How can a movie take place in Boston without someone talking about Manny? Curran maintains the proper composure for as the madman taking the wheel. He does a superb job switching between sweet guy and scary ass driver. Only guy more frightening in Boston is Scott Boras. The end of the film doesn’t compromise the tension. After watching Shuttle, you’ll always take the Silver Line when arriving in Logan.
Special: Specioprin Hydrochloride is a great performance from Michael Rapaport (War At Home). He’s a normal kinda guy who takes part in a drug study. The pills have an amazing side effect for the metermaid. He becomes a superhero like the people in the comic books he loves.. Or is he? Either way, he changes his life to do his true work for humanity.. Rapaport is in the zone as he tests out his newfound powers even if everybody around him thinks he’s nuts. Rapaport has a face that can pull off this kind of action. You’ll be quoting his delusional dialogue after one viewing.
Timecrimes is a murder mystery that gets complicated with time machine action. After a guy stumbles upon a murder scene, the killer pursues him. He seeks refuge in a lab that has a time machine of Mr. Peabody proportions. He gets sent back a few hours. The Spanish triller gets twisted when the scientist doesn’t want this guy to interfere in this past tense for fear of severally messing up the future. But naturally this doesn’t turn out to be easy to do. Instead he ends up overlapping his other self. It’s a Mobius loop of a plot that pays off in a European way.
BOOK ME, DANNO!
In order to celebrate the release of Hawaii Five-O: The Sixth Season, CBS DVD is letting 5 lucky Party Favors readers win copies of the DVD boxset. It’s a crime not to enter the contest to share in the Jack Lord. The question to help you win is name the episode that features the star of Mr. T and Tina. Send your answer along with your name, address and favorite member of the Hawaii Five-O force to mokaha@aol.com. Staff members of the Party Favors, Mr. T, and Jack Lord can not enter. Be here, aloha!
Welcome to our weekly round-up of featured giveaways here at Quick Stop. Every Wednesday, we’ll present a new clutch of DVDs, books, and other cool stuff you can take a shot at winning. All you have to do is click on the graphics below to be taken to their respective contest pages. And good luck!
BURBANK — There’s a black hole sucking up all the stars. Who could have imagined in such a short period of time we’d lose Dom DeLuise, Bea Arthur, J.G. Ballard and Danny Gans? Was there enough pages in People magazine give proper remembrance to these dearly departed? All the pages written by Proust wouldn’t cover their greatness.
