Author: UncaScroogeMcD

CARSON CITY – Dennis Hof is transforming. He has a bordello empire with a license to operate sixth house in the works. He’ll have more women working for his houses than players in the NBA. He just opened the Alien Cathouse near Area 51. This new themed establishment makes it possible for nerds to truly hook up with a woman in a Princess Leia Slave Ensemble. He’s has a new knee and girlfriend (naturally a blonde) helping him rehab. He’s ready to party and his birthday’s the perfect excuse to celebrate.

How could the Party Favors refuse an invitation to spend a weekend celebration in the World Famous Bunny Ranch within craps throwing distance of Reno? The good part about a Dennis Hof party is that it’s not going to end up a sausage fest. There shall be ladies and interesting guests. This is what your friends in college imagined their parties were going to be like…except they weren’t like a Dennis Hof party. I couldn’t miss out on the fun since I needed to perform more research for my upcoming business book: House Rules: How to Make Your Employees Love Being Treated As Prostitutes. The self-help book is based on my experiences with Dennis over the years. Forget Donald Trump as business role model. Dennis has mastered the concept of making everybody happy at the end of a deal.

The party was set up to be a three day blow out. Madame Suzette had planned out a celebration worthy of her boss’s stature as the place to party. This wasn’t only going to be cake, ice cream, punch and a few party favors. There will be things that won’t be allowed on Instagram. Down in the Southern part of Nevada, they have an old tourism board saying, “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas.” But what’s the deal with Carson City? How much can I tell about a “lost weekend” in a brothel? The Party Favors decided that if Dennis mentioned it as part of his Ustream show (http://www.ustream.tv/channel/dennis-hof), it’s fair game to relate. I’m not going to tease you that much – this isn’t about going to a stripclub. This was the greatest party since Truman Capote’s Black and White Ball.

Friday night was the social evening of drinks and karaoke to let the guests. `There was a great delight in just hanging out in the lobby and bar chatting away while Dennis welcomed his friends to his dream house. Dennis moved very well for a man who had knee replacement surgery six weeks before. But he also has the greatest rehab partners to keep him interested in therapy. His latest girlfriend is Courtney Cross, a tall Texas blond with a surprising talent. More on that later. What happened to his last girlfriend that was featured on HBO’s Cathouse? No need to ask. All you need to know is that Dennis Hof is the only man in America who doesn’t whine about getting back in the dating scene. He has better things to discuss in conversations. He mentioned how he explained to Elizabeth Taylor the difference between a vibrator and a dildo. My ears quickly perk up with such a tale. Dennis did once dine with the first lady of cinema. Ron Jeremy wanted to sleep with her so he could brag about the occasion. Naturally he wouldn’t point out what year it happened. A lot of the talk focused on Andy Kaufman. The late star of Taxi was Dennis’ traveling partner to Nevada cathouses in the late ’70s. How come that wasn’t in The Man In the Moon? I swore Tony Clifton’s ghost roamed around the hot tub in the back during the weekend. Or maybe it really was Tony Clifton.

The big talk of this visit to Ranch was “The Girlfriend Experience.” Not sure what influence the movie played in the craze, but seems like a lot men I met had their prime lady to see. There are a few women working exclusively as the girlfriend experience. They only visit the ranch when their date flies into town for a weekend long date. They don’t come running when the bell rings for the line-up. One guy explained to me that the girlfriend experience is cheaper by the hour than his last divorce lawyer. He kept in contact with his “girlfriend” over the internet between his flights to the Reno-Tahoe airport. The only bad difficult part of “the experience” is a chance of relationship drama. Some girlfriends don’t like seeing their “boyfriends” disappearing into other rooms. But when you’re a kid in a candy store, you can’t resist sampling from other colorful jars.

I quickly found myself enjoying the “Friend Who’s a Girl Experience” with the stunning Bailey Paige. The tall blond had remembered me from four years earlier when interviewed Dennis for the award winning “Hof/Corey Interview.” We quickly became drinking buddies for what turned out to be a longer night than I expected with a body still on east coast time. Casinos pump pure oxygen through the air vents to keep gamblers throwing around the chips. I have my suspicion that Dennis has figured out how to turn Red Bull into an aerosol spray to keep the party bouncing until the wee hours.

During the first night festivities, Dennis introduced me to Sunny Lane. How can talk about Sunny without sounding so sunny? How do you even talk to her? The AVN winning actress is a rarity amongst adult performers with her lack of surgical enhancements. She has a body made for HDTV. The Georgia Peach grew up with dreams of being an Olympic ice skater. However that dream feel through when issues with her feet that took her off the ice. Through a series of circumstances, she landed a job at the Bunny Ranch and appeared on the early episodes of Cathouse as Sunshine. This led to a career in adult cinema including the new Batgirl XXX. Here’s the almost workplace safe version of the trailer.

I became locked into awkward teenage mindset of muttering, “You’re so purty.” This however did not destroy the encounter. Sunny guided me on a tour of all the changes Dennis made since the last visit. There’s a brand new heated pool that’s perfect for late night skinny dips. The hottub has been upgraded. The bunnies are happy to have a larger work out center. There’s even a corral for Dennis’ horses. During the day, wild horses visit the compound. It’s truly the nature scene on the hill. It was a chilly night and Sunny was dressed in her skimpy work outfit. I loaned her my sweatshirt. We marveled at how bright the stars were in the Nevada sky. As I looked back down and saw her bundled inside my sweatshirt, I pondered if this moment was the “Gosh I Should Ask You Out to See If You’d Like to be My Girlfriend Experience.” She is such a sweetheart. She had taken a break from movies and working at the Bunny Ranch to enjoy life, but is now back and full of steam. Even with such an adorable cuteness, there’s a focused drive to her eyes. She is serious about her career in the flesh trade. She spoke of the issues in the adult video industry including the various sites offering free streams of her life’s work. This was what drove her to wake up in the wee small hours of the night to check the sharpness of her blades.

Sunny spoke about her time meeting Kim Kardashian. She’d figure they’d bond since they both are known for their asses and sex tapes. But Kim wanted nothing to do with Sunny. This is probably just pure envy on Kim’s part since Sunny knows how to work her ass and looks like she’s enjoys getting laid in her sex tapes. Sunny should have her own E! series since her mom and dad help with her career. Why can’t Ryan Secrest give us “Sunny Side Up!” or something of that ilkish titling?

During our tour, we stopped by the room of Carrasa Kisses. A lot people ask what kind of woman works at the Bunny Ranch. Mostly they expect tales of high school drop outs that went to work at Hooters, moved up to strip clubs and adult movies until they ended up in prostitution. Carrasa surprised me when she spoke of working in an operating room. I foolishly asked if she was a surgical nurse. She’s a surgeon. Why is she operating for Dennis? She went through med school and finished her residency. Her student debt was enormous. Instead of living on Top Ramen while paying off massive loans and huge malpractice insurance premiums, Carrasa called up Madame Suzette. She is a doctor who has bedroom eyes. During the three-way conversation, Sunny mentioned how much she likes Carrasa and it’d be really cool if we had a threesome.

Leonard Cohen should have written “The Sisters of Mercy” about these two ladies. There was such a warmth and spiritual healing feeling between them. As they both smiled at me, I could sense that this would be the kind of event that I’d brag about on my deathbed to loved ones before they smothered me with a pillow. It wasn’t just going to be a dirty evening, but a religious experience. A surgeon’s hands and a flexible figure skater made me think that this would be a party that had to last all weekend. Could I afford the Caligula dream that was kicking against my frontal lobes? Why didn’t I start a hedge fund? How much would they give me for my spare kidney? What if I threw in a spleen? Does my family need to eat for the rest of the year? Didn’t we eat enough food in the summer? Where are my magic beans? Will my wife bury me in a shallow grave or dump me in the lake “Dexter”-style? The sad truth is that the Party Favors expense account no longer covers Hookers and Blow like in the ’80s. My accountant warned me that even if I reviewed the party in the Party Favors, the IRS would cut me up if I claimed it as a business expense. For a brief moment, I prayed that Patti Kaplan would scratch on the door to let me know HBO was picking up the tab if I agree to let them film it. But there was no Make A Wish miracle. Nobody at Mastercard had to wonder if I put a down payment on buying Costa Rica. I was there to report and not play Neil Strauss. This is the most painful “fish that got away” story since I busted open my knee diving to catch an escaping bass. But at least I’m telling it to you and not a bankruptcy judge wondering how I spent two weeks in a bed. He’d probably want illustrations and I’d give them. Give me a minute to stop crying. What’s wrong with sending the kid to Community College and living in a tent? It builds character. Sunny guided me out of Carassa’s room. It was a walk of shame for me. But at least Sunny was wearing my sweatshirt.

Back at the bar the karaoke was in full swing. I found out more about the background of various Bunnies. One, whose name will remain secret, was on fall break from grad school. Her two weeks at the Ranch were going to cover spring semester. Tegan Tate was a trip since she reminded me of the Dark Side of Juno. The pixie-ish porn star had recently arrived at the Ranch after making a few films for the saintly folks at San Francisco’s Kink.com. What do you say to a woman that has “Punish me” tattooed under her breast? Sadie Lee talked to me about how she tried for a few weeks being a mail-order prostitute. She’d get appointments and fly around the country. She didn’t like the fact that she didn’t know who lurked behind the hotel room door and what he really wanted for his money. She liked the safety of Dennis’ bordello.

Hard to tell why HBO hasn’t done a new special about the Bunny Ranch. There’s so many stories eager to spill out from behind the gate. Patti Kaplan could make an entire special about Jayla Conrad, a third generation ranchhand. The redhead told me how when she was 16, she came across material from the Moonlite Ranch featuring not only her mom, but her grandmother. She waited until after Thanksgiving dinner to ask her mom and grandma. They didn’t deny it. We wondered if there’s ever a good time to let a daughter know that you and grandma worked at a cathouse? Maybe the topic could be mentioned after an episode of Cathouse? Turns out mom didn’t work there that long, but Jayda’s aunt did. Dennis said that Jayda’s aunt is responsible for getting him to buy the Moonlite Ranch and turning it into the Moonlite Bunny Ranch. Dennis also admitted to hooking up with Jayda’s grandmother. Andy Kaufman was part of this family-style fun. How can HBO not see a “Cathouse: Family Tradition” special in Jayda’s family story? They could run it next Thanksgiving. Get on it, Sheila Nivens!

Saturday night was the big party at Dennis’ nightclub. The theme was alien costumes so the room was covered in lots of intergalactic naughtiness. Slutty alien described the most of the wardrobe choices. The major shocker was that only one woman showed up in the Slave Leia outfit. For those wondering, I showed up in a white safe suit like the guys who investigate alien landings.

The big star of the night was none other than Ron Jeremy. Why hasn’t the Kennedy Center Honored Ron Jeremy? The man has made more movies then Jimmy Stewart. He’s even made movie that doesn’t feature him naked although those straight films have him being killed in various ways. It’s pop or be popped in the cinema of Ron. He’s not a tall guy. In fact it felt odd towering over the living legend. Ron spent most of the night posing for pictures, signing breasts and eating at the buffet. The man enjoys his meals. Who couldn’t resist the buffet since it featured Moon Pies! I was going to bring Dennis some of the tasty Southern treats, but feared the TSA would swipe them from my luggage.

Instead of just people merely hanging out, there was a floor show courtesy of some very talented Bunnies and gals from The Love Ranch. Acts included hoola hoops, Brooke Taylor wearing a blond wig, Psy dancing and the Samba. The strangest moment was when Courtney Cross stepped on stage to deliver topless opera. People were expecting something on par with Bugs Bunny’s “What’s Opera, Doc?” Instead Courtney delivered a moving aria with her serious operatic skills. She did lose her top to make sure the crowd paid proper attention. Another big pleasure was a photo booth set up. All night people struck triple posers that sometimes looked like a session for a Vivid Video cover. Here’s a behind the angle of Sunny Lane (the blond) and Jayla Conrad (blue hair).

Singing in the background is Sadie Lee. She was my karaoke buddy from the previous night. Dennis’ big birthday bash was all about bodies bumping into bodies without much complaining. There was body painting with no reservations as women completely stripped down to get the paint sprayed everywhere. Bailey only wanted a pair of wings painted on her back to give her more of angelic feel.

There were odd stars lurking at the party and strange dream-like resist the buffet since it featured Moon Piesuldn’igning breasts and eating at Leia outfit. te Bunny Ranch. Dennis also our Emmoments like when I’m standing with two people who have had their lives turned into supporting characters in Milos Foreman movies. They had been consumed into the faces of Paul Giamatti and Crispin Glover. I felt left out. Perhaps someday soon Milos will make a movie about Dennis Hof. Ryan Gosling will play me as the plucky internet columnist who brings his pregnant wife to the Bunny Ranch on their wedding anniversary. Although with my luck it’ll be Kevin James. For the love of God, don’t let Milos cast Tyler Perry as me. The after party back at the Bunny Ranch was even more exciting. You’d wonder when familiar faces disappeared if they’d gone to the bathroom or were enjoying an even more intimate after party. When you party in a bordello, anyone can get lucky at any time. This was better than being at the prom with a gallon of Jack Daniels and a canister of nitrus. The big fun came as I sat on the front porch with Mr. Dan Haggerty. He was the star of The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams which was a childhood favorite. He has a sideline marrying couples at the Bunny Ranch. He’s tied the knot on over 200 parties with only one divorce. His big shocker of the night was telling us that he’d had a one night stand with Phyllis Diller. That’s right, Grizzly Adams hooked up with Fang’s Wife. You want details?

He was on a talkshow with Barbi Benton (Playboy After Dark and Phyllis Diller. Barbi had just broken up with Hugh Hefner. After the show, Haggerty joked that he’d love to hook up with Barbi, but he was heading home with Phyllis. The couple did head out. She mused, “Fang, if you could see me now.” The comic star did have a major request for their romp. “Now you do me a favor Danny,” she asked. “What’s that?” Dan responded. “Let me lay on the bottom so the wrinkles around my eyes disappear behind my ears.” She cared about Dan’s image as well. “Don’t you worry about a thing,” she said. “I’ll go out the fire escape not to ruin your career.” “Are you kidding, this will be the best thing that ever happened to me,” Dan declared. The moment has not faded from Dan’s memory since each year an event brings it all back. “Every time I look at a Thanksgiving turkey on the table and those little white pompoms on the end of their legs, I remember her feet sticking in the air. Oh my God, is this going to be with me forever?” He laughed. He also told this story on the Dennis’ Bunnyranch U-stream so you can hear his proper infection (http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/26134348).

The afterparty kept going with guests mingling with clients showing up to party with the on-duty Bunnies. The strange feeling is that at that moment guys in New York City and around Maine are living in panic that their names will be revealed by the Soccer Madame and Zumba Hooker. Yet there we were sitting on the front porch of a brightly lit brothel without a care about being frogwalked by the cops and branded by shameful New York Post headlines. Dennis Hof has created a sanctuary on the outskirts of Carson City where people buy a t-shirt to let the neighbors know where they’ve been. It’s a Carnal Disneyworld where after your ride, you exit through the giftshop. Unlike a strip club, there’s no harsh rules enforced on the wall. Nearly any pleasure can be negotiated. It’s like a world outside the norm that’s been inflicted upon us by puritanical media empires. Maybe it was the elevation, lack of sleep and a steady diet of Jack and Cokes, but things got really like a dream when I heard, “Hey Joe!” I turned around and it was Joey Buttafuoco. The man from the Amy Fisher controversy who has had at least four actors play him (including Kevin Spacey in American Beauty). Why does Joey Buttafuoco know my name? It took a second to remember our meeting at the start of the party. Why wouldn’t he remember my name since we’re both Joes. He was a nice enough guy. He was extremely happy to be there since he had a near death experience last year. Did he really survive? It was hard to tell since Dennis Hof’s birthday’s like an afterlife experience.

There was a Sunday pool party to wrap up the festivities. Since the Party Favors headquarters is on the East Coast, I could only attend the first scheduled hour. When I arrived back at the Bunny Ranch, the place was quiet as a church on Monday morning. Only thing you could hear was Ron Jeremy’s snore rattling around the hallways. Everyone was still recovering from the After Party. The pool was empty. The debauchery was taking a break. I wandered back to the lobby to sit on the sofa and wait for my limo ride back to normality. A tired bunny wandered into the room. We started talking a little bit and she fell asleep against me. I was part of “The Pillow Experience.” This led me to wonder if I’m supposed to be the one charging? Should I have called Madame Suzette to set the egg timer?
Can it really be another year before Dennis Hof has another birthday? That might be enough time to start my Odious Maximus Hedgefund.

GRIZZLY ADAMS

Even with whirlwind of fun, the coolest thing was getting to spend a little time with Dan Haggerty. The bearded icon had no idea that Timeless Media was about to put out The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams: Season One on November 6. The DVD boxset has the first 13 episodes of the TV series about James “Grizzly” Adams. He’s a man falsely accused of murder so he takes to the frontier to maintain his freedom. He’s a nice guy and pals with Mad Jack (Dukes of Hazzard‘s Denver Pyle). His big thing is his friendship with a Grizzly Bear named Ben. The boxset doesn’t include the original movie The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams that was released in 1974. The show came out in the spring of 1977 on NBC. But don’t feel left out since the intro contains clips from the film.

Turns out that Grizzly Adams was the original Back to the Future. The entire movie had been shot with a different actor as Grizzly. Sunn Classics didn’t feel good about the project and shelved it. Haggerty at the time was major animal trainer. He handled the wildlife on Ron Ely’s Tarzan series. He was working on another project for Sunn Classics when an executive saw him on screen and and declared Haggerty was their Grizzly Adams. He proposed a deal with Haggerty to reshoot part of the film for a miniscule budget so that they could save the project. Dan agreed and the film became a major hit. The movie grossed hundreds of millions all around the world. Dan received $5,000 and his bear pulled in $3,000. There would be no bonus check. But at least Dan and the bear got work when the network wanted to turn the movie into a weekly series. The series was family oriented with tales of the mountain man and his bear buddy. Even now this show is family entertainment with its mixture of western tales and cute animals as told by Denver Pyle. The first season had a few famous faces wander into the wilderness. Ken Berry, Charles Martin Smith, Slim Pickens and Norman Fell venture out to the mountains. Best is seeing Norman Fell acting against the bear as if it’s Mrs. Roper or John Ritter. Shame Fell didn’t get to work with more animals.

The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams: Season One holds up even with its slower pacing. It’s fine family viewing when you want to calm down the room. Haggerty is extremely charming as the wilderness legend. The bear’s acting is amazing. The two are a memorable duo. For those wondering about the bear, Haggerty said that when Ben turned 30, he lost his teeth. In the animal world, this is soon followed by the bear dying. Haggerty had a dentist pal cap the bear’s teeth so that he lived 3 more years before succumbing to cancer. If you ever consider getting married at a bordello, make sure Dan Haggerty does the hitching.

E.T. GETS WAXED

If you ever wanted to do the bike pose with E.T., you’re in luck. Here’s a video clip from Madame Tussauds Hollywood wax museum about their new exhibit celebrating the 30th anniversary Blu-ray. I’m more impressed that they put back the shotguns after they had been CGIed into batons for the 20th anniversary DVD. The cool thing is you can climb on the bike and pedal pose with the alien. Remember to bring your best red hoodie.

RAZZIE WATCH

Once again it looks like we’ll have a double winner for Worst Actor and Worst Actress at the Razzies except it’ll be two different films with the same bad performer. They just need to rename this year’s ceremony “Tyler Perry’s Razzie Awards.” He’s been lucky over the years not winning worst actress for his legendary Medea character. But this year is his as a her year. Why? Because he’s got the worst actor locked down for being Alex Cross in Alex Cross. How can voters not go for the ticket of double Tyler Perry with Alex Cross and Tyler Perry’s Medea’s Witness Protection? It’s got to hurt biological actresses knowing that they are still getting edged out of bad cinema by guys. Blame it on Shakespeare from when he wrote Tyler Perry’s Merry Wives of Windsor.

DVD SHELF

Streets of San Francisco Season 5, Volume 1 & Volume 2 wraps up a fine cop show that was shot on location and not a Hollywood backlot. This was the season of a major change. Michael Douglas had won the Best Picture Oscar for producing One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. He didn’t need to play sidekick to Karl Malden anymore. But he didn’t flee the scene like Laurence Fishburne on CSI. He stuck around for the opening season two-parter “The Thrill Killers.” This film introduced Inspector Dan Robbins played by Richard Hatch. The trio must crack a major case when a domestic terrorist group kidnaps the jury seated for the trial of their leader. They busted open the guest star budget with Norman Fell (The Ropers), James Hong, Ron Glass, Dick Van Patten, Patty Duke and Joseph Wiseman (Dr. No). The middle cliffhanger has Michael Douglas shot by Susan Dey (The Partridge Family). At the end of this special Douglas decides he needs to change careers. This leaves Malden and Hatch pulling the weight. “No Minor Vices” makes Maureen McCormick (The Brady Bunch) a teen hooker with a homicidal dad. “Hot Dog” has Don Johnson as a cop long before Nash Bridges. “Innocent No More” transforms Mark Hamill (Star Wars into a bad boy. The big thrill of the season is “Dead Lift.” Arnold Schwarzenegger is a muscle guy who suffers major cases of roid rage. He’s pumping iron and crushing bones. Even with a rather fine season, the audience dropped with the change from Douglas to Hatch. Things didn’t go too bad for Richard Hatch since he immediately snagged the role of Apollo on Battlestar Galactica. This has allowed him to be a busy guy on the Science Fiction Convention circuit. Karl maintained the persona of Lt. Stone when he reminded us to not leave home without American Express Travelers Checks. You can buy both volumes as a bundle for a discounted price.

Perry Mason, Season 7, Volume 2 packs up another 15 cases of legal thrills. Perry Mason (Raymond Burr) is back on his game after blowing that one case in Volume 1. What’s the secret of Perry’s business? People come in for a minor legal issue and leave needing the top dollar homicide defense. “The Case of the Ice-Cold Hands” seems minor when Joyce Bulifant (Match Game ’75) hires Perry to hold onto race track bets. If the horse comes in Perry has to collect the winnings. The longshot comes true except Perry’s pick up gets complicated with someone claiming the betting money was stolen. The accuser turns up dead and now Joyce has to get Perry’s upgrade package. “The Case of the Bountiful Beauty” squeezes Ryan O’Neal between his girlfriend and stepmom. Turns out the girlfriend has written a bestseller about the stepmom. She’s not happy at being a semi-fictional character. She feels worse when she turns up a corpse. NCIS fans will get a thrill to see David McCallum in “The Case of the Fifty Millionth Frenchman.” There’s murder at a Shakespeare company in “The Case of Simple Simon.” Trouble must be there since Victor Buono (Batman‘s King Tut) is in the middle of it. Speaking of Batman, “The Case of the Drifting Dropout” features Neil Hamilton. This is another fine legal outing that’s more exciting than Judge Judy. Fans will also be relieved knowing that the two volumes of Season 8 are scheduled to come out in November and January instead of a year from now.

All In the Family: The Complete Series contains the wisdom of Archie Bunker (Carrol O’Connor) over the course of 208 episodes that aired over 9 seasons. My dad worshipped Archie Bunker. We weren’t quite sure if he got the joke that Archie wasn’t right all the time. Archie was the blue collar soul of the not so quiet majority that put Nixon back in office. He lived in Queens, NY. His wife Edith (Jean Stapleton) was a ball of energy as she tried to keep stability in the house. What could rock Archie’s world? For starters there’s his daughter Gloria (Sally Struthers) and her radical husband Meathead (Rob Reiner). Archie and Meathead constantly feuded about current events. Archie had a slight advantage since Meathead was living in his house. But that didn’t mean Archie won anything with his bigoted view of the changing world. The amazing thing is that the arguments between Archie and Meathead aren’t things of the past. They argue about race, religion, politicians and how America needs to go back to when things were just right. Archie could easily host a talkradio show after Rush Limbaugh and nobody would know he was talking to the callers from 1971. Rush Limbaugh’s entire schtick is stolen from Archie except there’s no Meathead to prove him wrong. And Archie reminded Meathead that his most idealistic beliefs weren’t going to work in the real world.

The series spawned several spin-offs including Maude, The Jeffersons and Good Times. It’s responsible for most of Antenna TV’s programming. Even when it went off the air, Archie Bunker couldn’t be stopped. Archie Bunker’s Place lasted 4 more seasons. The character wasn’t some made up creature. He was part of America. He’s the guy who calls up radio stations to set things right.

Here’s a bit from when Sammy Davis Jr. dropped by the house. This is one of my favorite Sammy acting gigs along with Ocean’s 11 and Cannonball Run. The stunned look on Sammy’s face after Archie lays down science is immortal.

The big thing for the All In the Family: The Complete Series is a bonus disc with several elements that fans have been clamoring to see. Even though this was a major hit from the start, Norman Lear had to make two pilots to finally get the green light from CBS. Both pilots are here. Both had different actors for Gloria and Meathead. It’s basically the same script as “Meet the Bunkers.” They toned down the hippie look of Meathead and Gloria. They also include the pilots for Gloria, Archie Bunker’s Place and 704 Hauser. The last was a ’90s attempt to flip the show with a black family now living in Archie’s domain. There are two documentaries featuring Norman Lear discussing the birth, life and impact of All In the Family. Maybe the biggest lesson of the show was that Archie Bunker is never going to go away. He’s still on TV as Bill O’Reilly. This boxset is sitcom nirvana.

Fantasy Island: The Complete Third Season brings us the time when Tattoo (Hervé Villechaize) got his mini-car. He was truly the mini-Mr. Rourke (Ricardo Montalban) in 1979. Why isn’t this show on at least Antenna TV on Saturday nights? Doesn’t matter now since Shout! Factory has given us more tropical goodness on DVD. Each Saturday two stars arrived via seaplane to have their deepest fantasy lived. While Mr. Rourke fulfills their desires, he gives them true insight into their own lives. “Hit Man / The Swimmer” has David Doyle (Bosley on Happy Days) wanting to be killed so his family can collect the insurance. Eve Plumb (The Brady Bunch) gets dramatic as a paralyzed swimmer who had Olympic dreams. Peter Graves (Mission: Impossible) is the dad who wants to give her working legs. Gail Fisher (Mannix) might be the doctor of their dreams. “Goose for the Gander / The Stuntman” brings Abe Vigoda (Barney Miller) to the land of smiles. “Tattoo: the Love God / Magnolia Blossoms” lets the little guy get to be a customer. He wants to be a stud, but Mr. Rourke changes it up on his sidekick. “The Red Baron / Young at Heart” sticks Don Adams (Get Smart) in the cockpit as he battles the World War I legend of the air (Tarzan‘s Ron Ely). Can you believe he misses him by this much? “The Wedding” is Mr. Roarke’s big day. But can he really trust his bride to be? “The Dancer / Nobody’s There” makes Max Baer as rich as Uncle Jed. “My Fair Pharaoh / The Power” transports Joan Collins (Dynasty) to ancient Egypt. I hope she doesn’t run into her teenage self. Fans of the Beach Party movies will be excited with two episodes. Frankie Avalon stars in “The Swinger / Terrors of the Mind.” Annette Funicello throws her voice in “Jungle Man / Mary Ann and Miss Sophisticate.” Fantasy Island is classic ’70s kitsch with notable faces in freakish places. This is must see TV on a chilly Saturday night.

The Ernie Kovacs Collection: Volume 2 brings more goodness from the original innovator of TV comedy. Ernie Kovacs might have died in 1962, but he pushed the boundaries of TV into the 21st century. There’s more great weirdness in his vault that’s been brought to DVD. Volume 2 starts off with 8 episodes from his NBC Morning Show. This is the bar that Conan O’Brien and David Letterman wish to achieve on their shows. Ernie must have been a great shock for mothers looking to sit back after sending the husband to work and the kids to school. It seemed that Ernie’s prime crowd were kids skipping school. Bonus features include 18 sketches from the morning show including the immortal Percy Dovetonsils. Three episodes of his game show Take A Good Look are a blast. Ernie would have a mystery guest and a panel of three stars guessed the guest’s accomplishment. Besides asking questions, Ernie had made video clues as tips. But sometimes it’s nearly impossible to get a hint with the surreal snippets. If Salvador Dali had made a game show, Ernie would sue Dali because this is that show. This show is addictive if only for the way Ernie tortures his celebrity panel. If you order directly from Shoutfactory.com, they’ll throw in Ernie Kovacs: Take A Good Look. with seven more episodes of Ernie’s legendary game show. He created a show that rates up with Groucho Marx’s You Bet Your Life. “A Pony For Chris” is the pilot he made for a series that starred Buster Keaton. Here were two brilliant men that pushed film and TV for greater comic effect working together. “The Lively Arts” is a rare interview with Ernie. From the present day is the panel at the American Cinematheque that celebrated the release of Volume One. I’ll be interviewing Josh Mills about this collection in the next Party Favors. Order this set now from Shout! Factory so you can follow along with our conversation about Ernie and the effort to put him on a postage stamp.

Peter Gunn: The Complete Series gathers together all 114 episodes from the three seasons. The series introduced the cool detective to America in 1958. Peter Gunn was the first private eye with a major theme song. Henry Mancini’s jazzy beat made Peter a smooth and slick character that could dish out the pain while exposing the truth. Craig Stevens played the Peter Gunn with a crisp laid back style that makes him the patron saint of Don Draper on Mad Men. He wasn’t flashy or fast talking when he took a case. He used his connections just right to crack a secret. He was Mannix‘s old man. His office was a jazz nightclub called Mother’s. He had a mobile phone in his Plymouth Fury convertible before Dan Tanna cruised the Vegas Strip. The black and white show had a classic noir feel yet didn’t dig deep into nostalgia. Gunn wasn’t trying to relieve the life of Sam Spade. He embraced the now of the late ’50s in his style and taste. He didn’t look like a cheap detective. He resembled his professional price. The show was only 30 minutes long so Peter doesn’t have too much time to run around on wild goose chases. He is serious in getting his client’s case finished. “The Kill” has a gang going against the owner of Mother’s. Peter doesn’t appreciate his office getting threatened. He goes after Gavin MacLeod (The Love Boat) to stop this nonsense. “The Man With the Scar” has Roy Thinnes (The Invaders) involved in a strangling. Billy Barty (Sigmund and the Sea Monsters) has a brief role. “The Fuse” has a mobster hire Gunn to find the real killer since he’s too much of a suspect. Ross Martin (The Wild Wild West) used this role to land Mr. Lucky, also created by Blake Edwards. James Hong (Kung Fu Panda) appears in “Lady Windbell’s Fan.” “A Kill and a Half” gives us Norman Fell (Ocean’s 11 and Billy Barty. In my area ME-TV doesn’t run Peter Gunn until the wee hours of the night. Peter Gunn: The Complete Series allows me to watch the noir action without falling asleep. As a bonus, they’ve included the soundtrack CD featuring Mancini’s other notes for the show. You can now watch and hear the coolness of the Gunn.

Warren Miller’s …Like There’s No Tomorrow is a stunning extreme skilling film that might cause you to break your leg is you duplicate the moves in your living room. The action is shot all over the world featuring Chris Davenport, Julia Mancuso, Daron Rahlves, Colby West and Seth Wescott on skis. They tackle slopes at New Hampshire’s Mount Washington, formerly the world’s nastiest weather spot. They hit the highs on both hemispheres with Himalayas action in Gulmarg, India and Portillo, Chile. There’s also creative stops in California, Alaska, Utah, Colorado, New Zealand and Norway. This is like a Jock Rock primer for packed powder season. This video should be blasting on the wide screen as you get the skis in slope ready condition even if you’re only going to tackle the bunny slope.

Nazi Collaborators is a 13 part series that explores what sort of people had no qualms making deals with Hitler. Why would “good” organizations find common ground with the German war machine? How could they turn a blind eye when their citizens are thrown on trains and sent off to death camps? Can organizations that you think are kind hearted today do something as foolish as those who saw Hitler as not that bad of a guy? Nazi Collaborators touches upon these issues that might have you staying up extra late in a paranoid stupor. We want to act like we’re beyond this mindset, but we live in a time when media figures defended a murdering and mutilating madman because his group worked “Christian” into their name. The 13 episodes include “Rumkowski and the Polish Jewish Ghetto,” “Laval and French Vichy Government,” “Arajs and the Latvian Holocaust,” “Degrelle and the Belgian SS,” “Sakic and the Croatian Concentration Camps,” “Quisling and the Puppet Norwegian Nazis,” “Sean Russell and the IRA,” “The Grand Mufti and Jerusalem Collaboration,” “German Mischlinge – Jews that supported Hitler,” “Rallis and the Greek Puppet Government,” “Mussert – “Shadow Fuehrer” of Holland,” “Nevanlinna – The Finnish Collaborator” and “The Schutzmannschaft Killing Squads.” The series originally ran on The Military Channel and is extremely important to watch if you lack the digital tier on the cable box.

ALEXANDRIA, VA – Most people get excited when they get one book published. Madelyn Rosenberg recently got to celebrate two illustrated books hitting the shelves. The Schmutzy Family and Happy Birthday, Tree! A Tu B’Shevat Story explain Jewish holidays to small kids. The Schmutzy Family (illustrated by Paul Meisel) is about a messy family that deserves their own TLC series. They have no restraint when it comes to turning their house into a disaster zone. But there’s one thing that gets them cleaned up. Happy Birthday, Tree!: A Tu B’Shevat Story (illustrated by Jana Christy) features a little girl wanting to make her favorite tree happy.

I’ve known Madelyn since we worked together at NC State’s Technician student newspaper. It’s fun to finally have a classmate involved in something that I can share with my kid (unlike Eastbound and Down which will not be shown until the kid hits 40). I dropped Madelyn a few questions about her new tomes.

Party Favors: What’s it like to have two children’s books in production at the same time?

Madelyn: This has been a long time in coming so I mostly feel relieved, actually. Relieved and lucky. And the two have a lot in common, so it’s easy to market them together.

Party Favors: Did you ever get the illustrators confused as to which one was working on which book?

Madelyn: Nope – if you were hoping for an episode of the Patty Duke show, that didn’t happen. I was confused for a while about which book would come out first, though. And they ended up being officially released on the same day.

Party Favors: Are any of your relatives upset that you think they’re The Schmutzy Family?

Madelyn: My brother has been disavowing any similarities (although that book is actually loosely based on a few stories from when we were kids). But I think most members of my family know that the only finger I’m pointing is at myself.

Party Favors: Have you heard from any families really named Schmutzy?

Madelyn: No, although I have a friend who was a member of a Zionist youth movement called HaShomer HaTzair and they used “Schmutznik” as a nickname. I think they considered themselves a family of a sort.

Party Favors: What did you tell Paul Meisel about the mess he had to depict in the pages?

Madelyn: Not much. I did have a few art notes in the original manuscript, though I’m not sure how many the editor kept when she sent the manuscript on to Paul. I will say that I originally thought of Irving as a cat, because I have cats and doing anything to a cat that the cat doesn’t want done is bound to result in a mess. And pain. But Paul is a big dog person, so he naturally saw Irving as a dog, and now I can’t imagine that image any other way. One interesting note about this industry: they often keep illustrators and writers separate, so we don’t talk much – a collaboration, but from a vast distance. I can’t say I always agree with that, but I respect it, and hopefully it gives the illustrators freedom to do their magic.

Party Favors: Do you get to keep any of the art to frame for the living room?

Madelyn: No, but I’d love to. (I’d probably have to fund it by selling another book, though.)

Party Favors: Are your kids using “The Schmutzy Family” as an excuse to mess up the house?

Madelyn: Yes. And I’m trying to use it to get us to clean up together in a way that’s a little more fun. (I admit, there’s just so much fun you can have with a toilet brush.)

Party Favors: How did you celebrate Tu B’Shevat before you started working on “Happy Birthday, Tree?”

Madelyn: We started celebrating it when my kids were in preschool with a Tu B’Shevat seder, and it quickly became one of my favorite holidays. When I was a kid I think we just ate dates.

Party Favors: When is the holiday in 2013?

Madelyn: January 25th.

Party Favors: Do you hope to make Tu B’Shevat a bigger holiday than Talk Like A Pirate Day?

Madelyn: Why not? It’s already becoming a much bigger holiday than it used to be, with so much awareness about trees, caring for the earth, and global warming.

Party Favors: How many trees do you have in your yard?

Madelyn: Eighteen, not counting shrubs. We have a good variety because the people who lived here before us were huge gardeners and chose their trees carefully: tulip magnolia, crepe myrtle, smoke tree, Chinese golden rain tree. We also have one Mr. White called “a rubbish tree” because he planted it to hide rubbish/lawnmowers/etc.

Party Favors: How many times did your kids have to hear the stories before you sent them off to a publisher?

Madelyn: More than a dozen.

Party Favors: Are the kids good copyeditors?

Madelyn: They’re good editors and good copyeditors. I’ve trusted them since the first time my son gave me a fake laugh because he didn’t want me to feel badly about a manuscript that only I, apparently, thought was funny. (He was right.) My daughter is good at knowing when a sentence needs an extra beat in it. And she is quite pleased that her souvenir swan makes an appearance in Happy Birthday, Tree.

Party Favors: Have you put up a website or video that explains how to pronounce the more complicated of words?

Madelyn: Uh, no. I’ll add it to the list.

Party Favors: Are you frightened that someday your books will be turned into feature films with musical numbers?

Madelyn: Musicals haven’t frightened me since I discovered Elvis.

Party Favors: Does society treat you differently now that you’re a children’s book author?

Madelyn: Nope. In other places I’ve lived, I could have said “I’m working on a book,” and people might have said, “cool.” Here, outside of D.C., if I say, “I’m working on a book,” they say, “Oh, yeah, me, too. Also, I just shot baskets with Barack Obama.” My kids’ barber authored a book on the lost amusement parks of Missouri. The lawyer around the corner authored a chapter of The Economics of Beer. The list goes on and on.

Party Favors: Do librarians slip you their manuscripts?

Madelyn: (See previous answer.)

Party Favors: Are you going to work on more illustrated children’s books or do you wish to write without pictures?

Madelyn: I’m working on more picture books, and on a few books that will have no illustrations. I have a middle-grade novel coming out in the spring that does have illustrations, though I haven’t seen them yet. I should add that I see images in my brain when I write anything – even articles or answers to interview questions.

PLUG ME

Remember this holiday season to get the loved on in your life a copy of The Seven Secrets of Great Walmart People Greeters. Hooters waitresses might need them soon.

WHAT TIME IS IT?

NBC is rerunning Spout shows on Saturday mornings between 8 hours of the Today Show and college football games. This is fine, but why are they showing The Pajanimals at 10:30 a.m.? This is a great show for parents when it airs at 8 p.m. on Sprout. The whole point of the show is muppets put on pajamas, brush their teeth and go to bed. That’s perfect for bedtime. But 10:30 a.m. is the time a child gets told, “You’re not going to sit around in your pajamas watching TV all day!” It’s mixed messages. On the positive side, if you don’t have Sprout, you should record Pajanimals and play it for them right before bedtime.

CHRISTMAS IN NOVEMBER

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

Ella Enchanted made Anne Hathaway a fairy tale figure back in 2004. At birth she was cursed by her fairy godmother with a spell that made her super obedient. This meant she’ll follow any instruction without hesitating. She does her best to track down the fairy to give her back this lamest of “gifts.” Her only true companion is a talking book with all the powers of an iPad. She also has to save a prince without being told conflicting instructions. It’s a cute film with plenty of fairytale creatures encountered on her journey. Anne is so magical in the title role which explains why this film has gained a cult audience over the years. This is the perfect little film for a lazy Fall afternoon on the widescreen. Cary Elwes (The Princess Bride) gets to return to the magical realm of cinema. The Blu-ray resolution brings out the joy in Anne’s smile and huge eyes. The big bonus feature is a DVD of the movie.

Everybody’s Fine is a holiday season tradition right after we watch Taxi Driver. Robert DeNiro is recently widowed and discovers that it was his wife that held together the family. When none of them want to visit him, he hits the road to connect with his kids. Turns out they viewed him as Robert DeNiro character. His kids include Kate Beckinsale, Sam Rockwell and Drew Barrymore. They’ve at least gone onto rather successful careers so he didn’t completely break their will to live. The film is a remake of a Marcello Mastroianni flick. As kind as DeNiro seems to be, there’s a fear that he’s tracking down his offspring to plant bugs on them or just make them disappear. Although DeNiro does his best to not merely play DeNiro as a dad. The big bonus on the Blu-ray is behind the scenes footage of Paul McCartney’ “(I Want To) Come Home.”

DVD SHELF

Mad Men: Season Five is a difficult time for Don Draper (Jon Ham). He can’t quite transform himself to fit the times. Things are changing in 1966 as the youth revolt takes seed. Fashion is moving forward with more risks. His collection of suits and ties are looking played out. His company is on the cusp of either failing or becoming as big as they were. Draper’s biggest problem is that he no longer has his secret identity. His new wife Megan (Jessica Pare) knows about Dick Whitman. She’s become a perfect wife and co-worker since she helps Don at sales meetings as the wife who gets it. But he’s fears that he made a major mistake since she wants to return to acting. The other folks in creative are bitter about Megan’s rise. Peggy Olson (Elisabeth Moss) is unsure what to think of Don and starts hearing offers from other agencies. Joan Harris (Christina Hendricks) truly takes on for the team to land a car account, but she gets a high price for her service. Roger Sterling (John Slattery) drops LSD and changes his perspective on life. He doesn’t just want to be Roger anymore. Everything is in flux for Don. He’s not sure what form he can take to deal with the perfect life he craves. Can he maintain the perfect façade for business or will he become a burn out refuge of Madison Avenue? The only thing that gives him relief is that his ex-wife (January Jones) has gained a lot of weight. That’s one less problem holding him down. Fans of Jared Harris will be a little disappointed. This is not a defenestration season. The boxset has a ton of bonus features including the Newsweek magazine covers from 1966 and a piece on the first Daylight Savings Time. Mad Men remains one of the premiere shows on the TV dial. The big highlight of the season happened in the first episode when Megan broke out the French pop as part of a party for Don.

90210: The Fourth Season brings the next generation from West Beverly High to California University just like the original kids. Except these new breed had a whole lot more issues during this transition period. Naomi (Nip/Tuck‘s AnnLynne McCord) has the roughest time since she’s lost all her power as the queen bee. Nobody cares what you were in high school unless you’re the freshman star on the football team. She’s got to struggle to find a place where he sinister talents are recognized instead of being ignored amongst the masses. She ends up going to a sorority to once more have a flock under her power. But does that really work with older girls that don’t need to be trapped in the same homeroom? Dixon gets his recording career back on track to the point where he gets an offer to do a movie soundtrack. But his old vices creep into the studio. Can he resist? Raj keeps on dying. Liam has a shot at male model stardom. Janice Dickenson does a guest shot to remind us that Tyra didn’t kill her at the end of America’s Next Top Model. The big ending for the season has Naomi getting hitched. Or will it all implode at the last minute since this is a soap opera? At least by going beyond a 4th Season, 90210 has escaped the high school curse. The bonus features include tours of all the major sets including the bar and new student center.

Bonanza: The Official Fourth Season, Volume 1 & Volume 2 takes us back out to the Ponderosa for another visit with the powerful Cartwright clan. Ben (Lorne Greene), Hoss (Dan Blocker), Adam (Pernell Roberts) and Little Joe (Michael Landon) take on all comers that want to dent their empire or hang them high. “The First Born” has a new ranch hand swear that his mama is also Little Joe’s mama. Denver Pyle (Dukes of Hazzard) wants to string up Hoss for a robber-murder In “A Hot Day for Hanging.” Because of the number of episodes they makes each season, there are a few solo adventures to let the other Cartwrights have a break. “The Way Station” sticks Adam at a stagecoach station with Robert Vaughn (The Helsinki Formula) and Dawn Wells (Gilligan’s Island). The most monumental episode is “The Decision.” Hoss is injured and only DeForest Kelley can save him. Bones from Star Trek must be a doctor to keep the big hat on the range. “The Saga of Whizzer McGee” will make you take a bathroom break. The bonus features include a Perry Como special with Lorne and Dan showing the audience how Bonanza is changed for the foreign markets. You can also see the original promos and openings on a few episodes. The new image looks better than the tapes being shown on the various cable channels.

The Lucy Show: Official Sixth and Final Season wraps up Lucille Ball’s time as Lucy Carmichael. The series had changed so much since starting as the tale of two single moms and their children in New York. But Vivian Vance left halfway through and the kids vanished. The show refocused to Lucy torturing banker Mr. Mooney (Gail Gordon) first as client and then as employee. For the sixth season, Lucy was constantly encountering celebrities to cause trouble in their lives. “Lucy Meets the Berles” has her confuse Milton rehearsing a love scene with Mr. Television having an affair. “Lucy and the Starmaker” scouts talent in the office when Frankie Avalon is forced to be a banker. Lucy can spot his real passion. “Lucy Gets Jack Benny’s Account” is another visit with the world’s greatest cheapskate. “Lucy and Robert Goulet” features a truck driver who looks like Robert Goulet played by Robert Goulet. “Lucy and Carol Burnett” gives the two episodes to cut each other up. Carol was about to launch her variety show. Vivian does return for two episodes. “Lucy and Viv Remember” has Viv care for an injured Lucy. More importantly is “Lucy and the Lost Star.” Lucy and Viv encounter Joan Crawford. Two major icons for the price of one episode. “Mooney’s Other Wife” hints that Mr. Mooney was hooked up with Edie Adams (Ernie Kovacs’ widow). This final season was #2 in the yearly rankings, but Lucy shut it down since she had sold Desilu to the company that owned Paramount. She didn’t want to work for a boss. She created Here’s Lucy and brought Gale Gordon along to be her tortured boss once more although now she was his sister-in-law. There are a lot of bonus features including Lucy winning the Emmy. It’s nice that all of The Lucy Show is on DVD since it doesn’t get the same airplay as I Love Lucy.

Gunsmoke: The Sixth Season, Volume 2 wraps up the 30 minute era of the long running western. This was the last time that the show would resemble the radio series with compact storytelling about Dodge City. Here are the 19 episodes that ended this part of the 20 season run. “Love Thy Neighbor” brings up a family feud over a sack of potatoes. Harry Dean Stanton, Ken Lynch (Green Acres) and Warren Oates (The Wild Bunch) are part of the spud fight. “Kitty Shot” puts a bullet in Miss Kitty during a gun down. George Kennedy (Cool Hand Luke) might be responsible. George returns for “Big Man” as a stalker following Miss Kitty. “Minnie” gives Doc an unwanted girlfriend. Alan Hale Jr. (Skipper on Gilligan’s Island) is part of the heart games. “The Love of Money” suspects Cloris Leachman (Mary Tyler Moore Show) as a cop killer. Can Marshall Dillon (James Arness) really bust Phyllis? The short times end with “Colorado Sheriff” with Matt investigating if a wounded man is really a deputy from Colorado looking for a robber in Dodge City. Strange to think there’s still 14 more seasons to go. The first 17 episodes of the hour long black and white version arrives on Dec. 11.

Care Bears: The Original Series Collection contains the animated adventures of fuzzy teddy bears with symbols on their belly. The series ran from 1985 to 1989. It’s hard to explain the joy of the series without a small child in the house. The bears are like the evolution of the Smurfs except more cuddly and less Smurfette. The Care Bears were a hot selling toy that needed to elaborate their roles via a TV show like G.I. Joes and Transformers except with less explosions. The bears live up in the clouds in a place named Care-a-Lot. That sounds pretty, but it gets warmer as part of the Kingdom of Caring. They battle Professor Coldheart and Lord No Heart with warmth. They prove that violence isn’t a solution. You got to hug it out. The boxes that has 64 episodes that ran during the ’80s. The topper is a feature length The Nutcracker. The movie is based on The Nutcracker Suite with a sad girl named Ana dealing with rats. Time to revive it as a holiday tradition.

Jake and the Never Land Pirates: Jake Saves Bucky contains the double length episode of the popular Disney Jr. series. Who is Bucky? Turns out it’s the name of Jake’s pirate ship. He must race the ship against Captain Hook’s Jolly Roger. The winner gets the pink slip of the other’s ship. Can Jake really win against a notorious cheater like Hook? He must get help from Peter Pan and a Dragon. The kid got excited watching this extended episode. This also means you shouldn’t think of putting it on right before bedtime. The disc also includes four other episodes: “Peter’s Musical Pipes/The Never Night Star,” “Captain Hook’s Hooks/Mr. Smee’s Pet,” “Race-Around Rock!/Captain Hook Is Missing” and “Captain Hook’s Lagoon/Undersea Bucky!” The show is squarely aimed at little kids although I’m really enjoying the singing pirates in their live action segments. There’s a Pirate-oke to get more of their swashbuckling swinging numbers. There’s also a disc with the cartoons set up for digital download. The most exciting thing inside the box is an inflatable pirate sword. I haven’t seen it since the kid forced me to blow it up.

Something Big stars Dean Martin in his favorite genre: the western. The film is from the end of his cinema career and it sort of follows that path. He’s an old time outlaw wanting to have one big thing go his way. He dreams of a Gatling gun in his hands. In order to achieve the firepower, he’s got to do a lot of little things including holding up a stagecoach and kidnapping. Brian Keith (Family Affair) is on his trail. There’s a lot of fine talent on the desert locations with Honor Blackman (Goldfinger), Ben Johnson (The Wild Bunch), Denver Pyle, Merlin Olsen and Harry Carey Jr. Dean has some fun with a touch of comedy as he gets serious about the big gun of his dreams. “Lucy and Carol Burnett” is a two parter done before Carol got her own series. “Lucy and Viv Reminisce” brings back Vivian Vance to nurse her pal. This duo gets upped in power on “Lucy and the Lost Star.” The girls meet Joan Crawford. Lucy and Joan is like a Logo series ready to happen. The show was #2 for the season, but had to come to an end. Why? Lucy had sold Desilu to Paramount and didn’t want to be an employee. She created a new production company and created Here’s Lucy. This gave her six more seasons to torture Gail Gordon. It is good to have all of The Lucy Show out on DVD since for some reason there’s a dozen cable channels showing I Love Lucy and none risking a slot on The Lucy Show. The DVD includes numerous bonus features including Lucy winning the Emmy.

The Cup is the true story of a family’s bad luck streak at being jockeys. Damien Oliver’s brother and dad died while racing in Australia. The brother was the favorite to win the Melbourne Cup (the Kentucky Derby of Down Under). Damien can’t let can’t be dissuaded to find a safer career. He needs to win for the sake of himself and his family. He gets help from a trainer (The General‘s Brendan Gleeson) to make sure he doesn’t follow in the family tradition. It’s an inspirational tale from Simon Wincher, the director of Free Willy. Wincer also made the equally entertaining Phar Lap about a famous Australian race horse than died mysteriously in Mexico. Shame his earlier film isn’t out since it would make a great double feature with The Cup.

Mancation: Unrated is another classic entry into the oeuvre of Joey Fatone. Matt Kawczynski is brown nosing his way up the corporate ladder. After he marries the Boss’ daughter, he should be on easy street. Except it all goes horribly wrong when he goes home early to surprise his bride. Unfortunately he surprises his bride and the maid of honor doing something less than honorable. The best part about the unrated nature is that you don’t have to guess what they’re doing in front of the horrified groom. In the midst of his crash, it’s up to Joey Fatone to pick him up and take him to Atlantic City for a Mancation. Who is waiting for him in the Boardwalk destination is Danica McKellar. He’s had a crush on her for a long time. Can he seal the deal and cleanse his soul of his sham marriage? He has an issue with two buddies who are beyond annoying. They get into fights with gang members and Russian freaks. This is where being unrated isn’t a great thing as we get to see a scene paying tribute to Scatman. Oh my eyes. Luckily there some Fatone to wash the images off the screen. Plus you can make plenty of jokes about Winnie Cooper. The big bonus feature is the uncut Bonerall commercial. Wonder if Fatone stole this role from Justin Timberlake?

Power Rangers Samurai: Christmas Together Friends Forever finally gives us a mini-marathon of Seasons Beatings. Three episodes on the DVD start with the recent “Christmas Together, Friends Forever.” Even on a sacred day, big monsters in rubber costumes will attack. Can’t Nighlok take a holiday? “I’m Dreaming of a White Power Ranger” has Santa’s workshop taken over by the evil Rito and the Tengu Warriors. They have a devious plan for what needs to go under the trees around the world. This special was from the third season of The Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, “A Season to Remember” came from Power Rangers Zeo. Skull and Bulk must find a fruitcake bandit. Isn’t this a victimless crime? The three episodes should brighten your holiday season better than It’s a Wonderful Life.

BENTONVILLE, AR – Ever end a long conversation with the thought, “Why can’t I have that person sit next to me on a cross country plane flight? That’s what happened when I had the chance to talk to David Mirkin about his time as creator, producer, director and writer on Get A Life. The absurdist sitcom featured Chris Elliott as a 30 year old paperboy living above his parents’ garage. It turned out to be a vision of the 21st century with a generation of men-children dead ending themselves. However Chris looked good at it. There’s a review of the boxset deeper in the column. Let’s just focus on David Mirkin – the founder of Mirkinvision.

He started his career attempting to write for The Ropers. His spec script was rejected, but in a good twist, he ended up writing for Three’s Company. He was hanging with Don Knotts. Eventually this led to him working on Newhart, It’s Garry Shandling Show, The Larry Sanders Show and The Simpsons. He moved into filmmaking with Heartbreakers and Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion. His current project is a Richard Branson biopic. He sees it as The Aviator without the jars of bodily fluid, but all the excitement. He’s also been making videos of James Taylor’s guitar lessons. Here’s how to play “Fire and Rain.”

During this part of the interview, I tell the story of the night I wouldn’t let James Taylor’s mom backstage at a concert. Contrary to the internet rumor, I did not say, “If your son loved you, he’d give you a laminated pass for Mother’s Day.”

Our conversation also delves into his working with Jackie Earle Haley on his attempt to Americanize The Young Ones. There’s plenty of weirdness to geek out on including an explanation of the Ediflex system, reuniting Damnation Alley and speculation of why Chris Elliott didn’t appear in any of the bonus features. Here’s the audio of a conversation that makes me wish it ended with a pilot saying, “Now ends the safest part of your day” and a fight for the overhead compartment bins.

SEVEN SECRETS FOR A GREAT JOB

My book is here! The reviews are out of control. “The Bleakest Business Book Ever Written.” “The Only Thing Between You and a Suicide Note.” “My Retirement Plan Between the Covers.”
What book could it possibly be that I’ve written to such raves? The Seven Secrets of Great Walmart People Greeters is the tome of this critical times. What are the Seven Secrets? I’m not going to tell you for free. Donald Trump doesn’t get rich by letting you drink his vodka for free. I will assure you that these are real secrets for not only landing a job as a People Greeter, but survival skills for not letting the job destroy you.

The book is best when given as a gift to others.

-Brighten up a retiree’s last day at work when you remind him that his pension might not be enough to keep dogfood on his plate.
-Give it to a college student to let them know the worth of their degree.
– Pass it on to an employee who needs a fire lit under their ass before you pink slip them.
-Unleash it on a college coach that needs to get off the sidelines.
-Send it to a politician who needs to put his handshaking skills to work in a better venue.
-Use it as a textbook in advanced college copyediting courses.

You can order the paperback, or if you need to read it faster, there’s eBook on Kindle.

And now the commercial:

Enjoy the book and remember that each sale goes towards keeping me from becoming a People Greeter at Walmart.

COMEDY COMBO

If I only had one holiday wish, it would be for all the children of the Earth join together in song. If I could scrape up a second wish, it’d be for all the episodes of Get A Life to come out on DVD. If somehow a third wish was possible, then I’d beg for all the TV specials Steve Martin made back when he was really funny. If I can only get two wishes, let’s skip the kids and get those DVDs. But I don’t need to wish anymore because Shout! Factory made my shiny disc dreams come true. Guess the kids can get back to singing after they watch these boxsets.

Get A Life: The Complete Series, Non-Special Non-Anniversary Edition is extremely special boxset. After being teased by 8 of the 35 episodes coming out on DVD a decade ago, all the weirdness is here. The episodes have the original music including R.E.M.’s “Stand” theme song. There’s no excuse for fans of the show not snatching up this collection since the show was cut on video so there won’t be a 1080p Blu-ray anytime soon. Chris Elliott perfect the doughy slacker guy as Chris Peterson. He lives above his parents’ garage. His job is paperboy. He’s a major goofball. The show completely plays off his inability to see the world in reality. “Paperboy 2000” has him face off with the Landmaster from Damnation Alley (also available through Shout! Factory). He even faces off against Jackie Earle Haley (Damnation Alley and Watchmen) in “Chris Vs. Donald.” Why doesn’t Jackie get to really work his comedy chops in a sitcom where he manages a Hooters? “The Prettiest Week of My Life” puts Chris into the Handsome Boy Modeling School. He learns the ugly truth of the modeling game. “Chris Wins a Celebrity” makes Martin Mull the prize. America’s TV Princess Elinor Donahue discusses with Bob Elliott how to eliminate Mull from their house when he overstays his welcome. The second season moves Chris into Brian Doyle-Murray’s garage. The episodes get even more outrageous. “SPEWEY and Me” reworks E.T. if the alien wasn’t so sweet and had body fluid issues. “1977-2000” gives a Life on Mars vibe as Chris time travels to 1977 to keep Brian from taking a piss on the police captain. Chris learns the evils of changing the timeline. The bonus features lets most of the cast and crew to talk about the show. Chris Elliot didn’t participate although it’s hard to think if he could add much to the stories. This is brilliant TV that under normal TV circumstances would have been axed in the pilot script stage. This is the third “Show We Swore Would Never Get a Proper DVD Release” put out by Shout! Factory after The Larry Sanders Show and Max Headroom. But there’s also a fourth title for that list after this break:

Steve Martin: The Television Stuff brings together all the classic TV moments that made Steve Martin a legend. These were made in the era before normal folks owned VCRs. You were cool if you could stay up and watch Steve’s hour long specials. You bought his albums, Cruel Shoes book and “Best Fishes” poster, but the TV specials were only memories – except for the “Homage to Steve” concert VHS. Now they’re finally out on DVD. First up is the HBO comedy special from Halloween night back in 1976. Launched himself as mega-star that night. The weekend before he’d been the host on Saturday Night Live back when hosts didn’t have to be promoting a movie. The audience is into his comedy and banjo fun. The Fonz had a VIP table for the action. A lot of these routines found themselves on Let’s Get Small” and “Wild And Crazy Guy comedy records. What’s amazing is seeing how so many of the jokes were visual. For decades, it seemed like the audience was just high and laughing at silence. Steve Martin found a way to sell recordings of comedy juggling. “Steve Martin: A Wild and Crazy Guy” was his first primetime special on a network. The special isn’t complete since they removed his live comedy bits from the sketches. Don’t panic. The comedy bits are part of the complete Live at the Universal Amphitheatre. Steve rides a giant turtle and presents his version of a variety show. “Comedy Isn’t Pretty” is funnier than the album. We used to re-enact his Olympic diving sketch at the pool. “All Commercials” has him spoof the sponsors. Huggy Bear and Pee Wee Herman are part of the cast. There’s no commercial interruption for this airing. “The Best Show Ever” brings together many of the Not Ready For Primetime Players after they had quit SNL. The Festrunk Brother s strut their stuff at an art gallery. Steve taps with Gregory Hines. Bill Murray treats Steve as the Elephant Guy. I had confused this in my mind as a SNL episode. There are plenty of bonus bits that remind us that Steve isn’t always the guy cranking out Cheaper By the Pink Panther movies. Here are his best SNL routines from the post First Five era. The times he busted up Johnny Carson still are hilarious. He has a gay time with David Letterman. The only thing missing in the boxset are his 8 legendary hosting gigs during the first five seasons of Saturday Night Live. You can buy those separately. Steve Martin: The Television Stuff makes me want to put on bunny ears and make balloon animals. The specials are as glorious as I remember.

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

G.I. Joe Renegades: The Complete First Season captures all 26 episodes about a world gone weird. Cobra is now considered the good guys since they’ve invested their evil profits in legitimate corporations. They provide all the products we enjoy. But G.I. Joe team knows there’s something evil about Cobra Industries. They sneak into Cobra Pharmaceuticals to get evidence. But the mission goes wrong and the government disowns the renegade Joes. Duke, Snake Eyes, Roadblock, Tunnel Rat and Ripcord now must battle both Cobra and the US Government. The only thing that can set them free is proof that Cobra is still out to dominate the world and not just at the supermarket. But can the Joes be trusted with the media turning against them? The show is a fine reworking of the GI Joe story with a touch of A-Team. This appears to be the only season. There is a bit of resolution in the final episode so you won’t feel like you’re completely hanging. The extra resolution of the 1080p Blu-ray brings out the details of the frame.

Hawaii Five-0: The Second Season is even more impressive than the freshman season. The show’s big focus remains the inner lives of the Five-0 force including the resolution of the cliffhanger when Steve McGarrett (Alex O’Loughlin) is sent to prison for killing the governor in “Ha’I’ole.” He can’t sit around in a cell hoping that a bumbling cop will uncover that Wo Fat was the real gunman. He busts out which gets him in trouble, but he needs help of his disbanded team. His big help this season is Terry O’Quinn (Lost) as his main teacher in the Navy. He hasn’t lost faith in his student. Wo Fat is played by Mark Dacascos. His name might not seem familiar, but he’s really the chairman on Iron Chef. He could have gotten away with the crime if the main dish was Hawaiian politician. One of the big running plot lines involves Tom Sizemore as a cop with his old crooked partner behind bars. Are they really on the outs? “Mea Makamae” brings Peter Fonda to the island. Easy Rider hits the water along with Patty Duke. Chuck Liddell plays himself once more in “Ka Hakaka Maika’i.” Why can’t he play Tito Ortiz? Crack open the drinks when Jimmy Buffett touches down on “Ki’ilua.” He’s like Glenn Fry was on Miami Vice. James Caan joins his son Scott Caan although not as Danno’s dad. He’s an ex-cop trying to find out who killed a DJ. They still have DJs worth killing is the shocker. The big finale involves the dirty dealings of Tom Sizemore and William Baldwin. There’s plenty of cop carnage in “Ua Hala.” The second season gets better with Masi Oka (Heroes) as part of the team. He’s a one man CSI. The high definition image brings out the colors of the islands. The 1080p turns your TV into a window to a paradise that’s full of kidnappers, killers, drug dealers and surfers. The big bonus is both episodes of the SSSSNCIS: Los Angeles crossover. LL Cool J never looked so tropical.

CSI FRENZY

CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, The Twelfth Season brings Ted Danson into the mix. The bartender from Cheers is now experiencing more than spilled Bloody Marys. He plays D.B. Russell taking over for Laurence Fishburne. “73 Seconds” gives him a hot case when a hotel tram gets turned into the OK Corral. “Bittersweet” turns an art exhibition into unmarked grave. “Maid Man” ironically whacks the old mayor of Las Vegas at the mobster museum. “Willows in the Wind” brings to an end Marg Helgenberger’s run as Cathrine Willows. “Tressed to Kill” has a serial killer that keeps giving his victims makeovers. “Seeing Red” brings in Elizabeth Shue to be the new Marg. “CSI Unplugged” blacks out Vegas, but the crew must find a missing child in the darkness. “Malice in Wonderland” turns a theme wedding into a yellow tape zone. “Homecoming” cliffhangs the season when the sheriff gets investigated for his wife’s murder. Ted Danson comes off well running the unit. He’s quickly got his on quirky style for checking out the crime scene.

CSI: Miami, The Final Season is a bit of a shock since the rumor had always been that CSI:NY was going to killed first. But in a wicked twist, after 10 seasons, Horatio Caine (David Caruso) had to pack up his sunglasses. At least nobody is going to call him a quitter this time. He stuck it out for a decade of crime in the Everglades. The big hint of the ending came when CBS cut the contract back to 19 episodes. “Stiff” finally has the crew investigate the life of a gigolo. “Blown Away” messes up a crime scene with a tornado touching down. “By the Book” might have a vampire killer on the loose. A killer pops out his victim’s eyes on “Dead Ringer.” They suspect “The Taunter” is back in town. “Crowned” tackles the world of Toddlers and Tiaras. “Terminal Velocity” kills a skydiver. Turns out the guy has over a 100 kids and yet no series on TLC. “At Risk” murders a tennis coach. Won’t spoil if the autopsy reveals fuzzy balls. There’s several bonus features for this wrap up season. Strange to think that Joel McHale can no longer do his sunglass impersonation of Caruso anymore.

CSI:NY, The Eighth Season is the season Det. Mac Taylor (Gary Sinise) and Det. Jo Danville (Sela Ward) didn’t have to investigate their demise. They dodged the cancelation bullet that took out CSI: Miami. The did have their season reduced to 18 episodes. “Indelible” depresses Mac as he remembers the 10th anniversary of 9/11. Robert Forester (Jackie Brown) guest stars. “Keep It Real” exposed the dark side of dating a punk rock girl. It can hurt like a double piercing of your privates. “Get Me Out of Here” is the Halloween special. A frat prank goes seriously wrong. Why don’t people leave empty graves alone? “Clean Sweep” kills a cage fighter. “Brooklyn ‘Til I Die” has a game gone bad. “Kill Screen” lets a video game tourney go bad. Is anyone suggesting the King of Kong is behind it? “Near Death” makes Mac fight for his life after taking a bullet. Can the team find his attacker or are they too close to the case? The bonus features include pieces on the heroes of 9/11 and Halloween in NYC.

DVD SHELF

Touched By An Angel: The Sixth Season captures the inspirational series during its Top 10 salad days. The sweet Roma Downey plays an angel named Monica that gives guidance and God’s memos to characters all over the globe. Della Reese is Tess, the angel district manager. “The Last Day of the Rest of Your Life” has Monica sit in with a support group for people with terminal conditions. Included in the meeting is Lenny Clarke (Rescue Me), Nancy McKeon (The Facts of Life) and super model Kathy Ireland. If this was on Showtime, I could easily guess Lenny’s last wish before departing. “The Occupant” guest stars a really young Shia LaBeouf (Transformers). “Voice of an Angel” scores major voices with Charlotte Church when she was a wee one and nSync with the Fatone and Justin Timberlake. “Then Sings My Soul” unites Louie Anderson, Keb’ Mo’ and Greg Evigan (BJ and the Bear). “The Christmas Gift” reunites a tense family for the holidays. Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee share time with Della Reese. “Millennium” frees Ann-Margret (Tommy) from a past love so she can enjoy the 21st Century. Break out the roasted chicken with Kenny Rogers in “Buy Me a Rose.” “Life Before Death” attempts to solve Ireland’s issues with an angel and Liam Neeson. “Here I Am” mixes Ed Asner (Lou Grant) with Giancarlo Esposito (Breaking Bad). “Monica’s Bad Day” can be summed up with guest star Kathie Lee Gifford. At least she also has Howard Hessemen (WKRP and John Ratzenberger (Cheers) to level out the spunk. “Mother’s Day” reunites the Judds. “Pardora’s Box” packages Gary Cole and Evan Rachel Wood. “Touched By An Angel” was the kind of wholesome family fare that would run on TV before networks figured they could attract the same audience to karaoke competition shows.

The Lawless Years: The Complete Series is the east coast version of The Untouchables. These are the cases of legendary New York cop Barney Ruditsky who focused on busting gangsters around the Big Apple. The series started the same year as The Untouchables so it’s always lived in the shadow of Eliot Ness. If you’ve wondered what to watch after you’ve picked up all The Untouchables DVDs, this is it. The Lawless Years has the same era and mobster tone packed into a half an hour. What tightens up the story is that Ruditsky (James Gregory) recounts the cases. This allows him to compact the action and get to the good parts of the story. “The Nick Joseph Story” gives us another stellar performance by Vic Morrow (The Bad News Bears). Vic heads a small gang that includes Harry Dean Stanton and Richard Bakalyan. They get noticed by the big mob and are subcontracted to perform hits. A young Burt Reynolds guest villains in “The Payoff.” “Lucky Silva” stars Martin Landau (Mission: Impossible) battling Legs Diamond. Harry Dean Stanton (Big Love) scratches in “The Poison Ivy Story.” He’s a favorite guest mobster. Vic Morrow returns for “Little Augie.” The series only lasted 45 episodes over two seasons. The interesting thing is that the first season is a sepia tone while the transfer on the second season is black and white. Both work for making the show fit its era. Gregory is perfect as Ruditsky. His role of Inspector Luger on Barney Miller makes more sense watching these shows.

The Carol Burnett Show: Carol’s Favorites is a 6 disc set from Time-Life’s Ultimate Carol Burnett Show. This contains 16 uncut episodes from the legendary variety show with major guest stars sharing stage time with Carol and her crew. “Show #1002” contains the hilarious “Went With the Wind!” sketch that put Bob Mackie to the test as he reworked Scarlet O’Hara’s curtain dress. “Show #1121” doubles up the guests with Betty White and Steve Martin. Steve performs comedy directed straight at dogs. Him and Carol spoof Close Encounters of the Third Kind on “As the Stomach Turns.” The big musical number is a tribute to the Beach Party films. Steve gets to do his best Frankie Avalon. The Jackson Five get funky on “Show #722.” See Michael Jackson with his original nose. There’s a double fright on “Show #814” with Joan Rivers and Vincent Price. This will scare you. “Show #817” teams Rock Hudson and Nancy Walker (director of Can’t Stop the Music) for the gags. Other guests on these episodes include Jim Nabors (Gomer Pyle), Phil Silvers (Sgt. Bilko), Ken Berry (F Troop), Pearl Bailey and Roddy McDowell. There are bonus features on this collection including a reunion of Carol with Vicki Lawrence, Tim Conway and Lyle Waggoner. There’s also another interview of Tim and Harvey Korman. This is a refreshing boxset that takes us back to a time when Saturday nights on network TV wasn’t reruns and college football games.

The Letter shocked me with the news that Winona Ryder is 40. How did this happen? Does this mean we’re all old? Remember when she was killing the Heathers, battling Beetlejuice and marrying Jerry Lee Lewis as a teen bride? Now she’s dealing with a nutty James Franco (Pineapple Express). She’s putting together a play staring her boyfriend Josh Hamilton (J. Edgar and not the Texas Rangers star). Among the cast is the freaky Franco. The man is out to mind freak the cast and crew. He wants to be the overly dramatic thespian that must push boundaries. He becomes her character or maybe she’s written him. It’s all freaking her out – almost as much as I’m freaking out thinking that she’s 40. The Letter shows that Winona can still hold a film and not perform supporting roles like in The Black Swan.

After Dusk They Come is another film that must be sponsored by the Travel Agents of America warning vacationers about going it alone. Instead of booking passage on a cruise ship, a bunch of folks charter a luxury yacht. Their plan is to get away from the tourists and visit an exotic island. They get taken off course, but find an island that seems suitable for their pleasure need. They can’t truly enjoy themselves since their rented boat wrecks. Things get even worse when they discover there are worse things than annoying tourists. Big nasty beasts roam the woods and they have no problem serving the vacationers as dinner. Can they get rescued before being served on the Captain’s Table? All this could have been prevented if they’d just gone with Royal Caribbean.

Whittle: The Jet Pioneer is an enthralling glimpse into the man who had to beat the Nazis in developing a working jet engine. Sir Frank Whittle had to work out all the parts so that the Allies didn’t merely fly up and quickly come down. He also had to battle the Royal Air Force to get them to accept the meaning of his invention. Even worse was his original patents for the jet engine wasn’t kept secret. The Nazis were using his research for the basis of their jet program. The documentary draws from an extensive interview with Whittle done before his death in 1996. He’s so charming recounting how things went down before his jet engine took off. The archival footage of the jet engine tests during World War II is thrilling. These were dangerous creations that needed to be tamed. The Nazis biggest problem was the engines failing after a few dozen hours in the air. The documentary shows how his early jet engines still work. The bonus features include 6 extra segments. A vintage educational film explains how Whittle’s engine works. There are even clips from a movie about Whittle made during the black and white era. This is a perfect gift for aviation enthusiast or just people who want to know how does my 737 get off the ground? This is the first DVD release from Shelter Island. They picked an extremely informative and entertaining title for their base.

Any Last Words? plays with the legend of Bat Masterson. Bat Masterson (Tom Lagleder) gets messed up bad during a battle with Indians. He’s taken on a spiritual journey of his life revisiting key moment in his past. He must decide to suck it up and get back in the fight or just give up the ghost. It’s kinda of a Western version of “A Christmas Carol?” except instead of being happy and buying a goose for Tiny Tim, Bat might get up and pump more led into attacking braves. Vaughn Taylor’s script and direction gives a gritty feel to the Old West setting.

The Revenant received a good buzz on the festival tour with its comic take on the undead turned vigilante crime fighters. David Anders (Vampire Diaries) gets killed while serving overseas in the military. They ship home his body for burial except he’s not ready to rest in peace. He rises from the grave to track down his buddy Chris Wylde. They conclude that he’s not a zombie, but a vampire. And he needs lots of blood to keep going. David learns the positive side of being undead is the inability to die. This makes him a bit of a superhero. Wylde doesn’t want to miss out on the fun. He gets turned into a creature of the night. But can the two remain pals in a soulless relationship? The bonus features include a commentary track from director Kerry Prior, deleted scenes and a documentary.

30 Beats is a tag movie. The New York City based semi-comedy follows characters as they trade off somewhat romantic experience. Some are more about no-strings sex while others want more than a quickie on a summer day. The cast features a few of my favorite cable TV folks. Jennifer Tilly (Bound) takes time away from the Poker table to get mystical about her desires. Justin Kirk (Weeds) gets a romantic challenge from his partner. Can he go through with it? Lee Pace (The Hobbit) grows a Miami Vice beard and still gets lucky. The big star for me is Paz de la Huerta (Boardwalk Empire). This tornado of joy pushes her boundaries and exposes her desires without much prompting. The end of the film makes sure that the circle is a complete daisy chain. You can watch it as part of Youtube’s movie rental.

VR Troopers: Season One, Volume One became a computerized companion to Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers. Instead of high school kids, a trio of college age kids are given the powerful secret identity. Ryan is a martial arts master. J.B. is a computer programming geek. Kaitlin is a cub reporter. They all train at Tao’s Dojo. They hook up with a guy who tells them that virtual reality can take them into another dimension that has monsters. Turns out the monsters led by Grimlord wants to take over their dimension. The trio get cool fighting outfits for their battles with Grimlord and his minions. They kinda look like Ultraman’s cousins. The show took action scenes from the Japanese series Superhuman Machine Metalder, Dimensional Warrior Spielban and Space Sheriff Shaider. There’s plenty of early CGI for a show that aired in 1994. The boxset has the first 26 of the 92 episodes.

Big Bad BeetleBorgs: Season One, Volume One is another one of Saban’s shows that used the Power Rangers formula of success. This time they cast really much younger actors to be the superheroes. Drew, Jo and Roland are maybe in junior high. On a dare, they sneak into a haunted house that really does have ghosts and monsters lurking in the shadows. They free Flabber from a pipe organ. The ghost looks just like Jay Leno with his huge chin and haircut. As a favor for being released, Flabber gives them each a wish. Being little geeky kids, they beg to become a real life version of the Big Bad BeetleBorgs. That’s their favorite superhero team. He does it. But as a consequence of the wish, the BBB’s enemies from the comic books also enter the real world. The comic book creator Art Fortunes can create things on the page that happen to the Beetleborgs. “Convention Dimension” takes the trio to Comic-Con to meet Art. What they don’t know is that the evil Vexor will also be there. The evil one wants to kidnap Art so they can use him to wipe out the BeetleBorgs. The action scenes and costumes came from Japan’s Juukou B-Fighter. This boxset has 27 of the 88 episodes that ran back in 1996.

Transformer Rescue Bots: Roll to the Rescue is another new series featuring the robots that turn into cars. Heatwave, Boulder, Blades and Chase come to Griffin Rock, Maine to become part of the first response team. The show is more about teamwork and doing the right thing than just mindless battling of evil robots. This collection has the first five episodes along with the 7th. “Family of Heroes” brings the foursome to Earth. They must live with the Burns family. “Under Pressure” brings rival robots into the mix. “Hotshots” has two of the robots doing too much of the work and alienating the team. “Flobsters on Parade” thrills with giant lobsters attacking the town. “The Alien Invasion of Griffin Rock” almost exposes the Transformers. “Four Bots and a Baby” introduces a robot baby. The bonus is coloring book pages in pdf format. You can print out a coloring book for the kids.

An American Christmas Carol stars Henry Winkler in 1979 to show he can do more than wear a leather jacket, elbow jukeboxes to play free songs and give us a thumbs up. This isn’t a traditional version of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. He doesn’t perform it as the Fonz even though Happy Days did a variation at one point. This new holiday classic brings the action to depression era New England. Winkler’s Benedict Slade is more hardcore as Scrooge. He’s evicting people on the holidays along with firing his main employee. He’s a hardcore soul who needs to be visited by all three ghosts to get a change of heart. Winkler plays the elderly Slade along with a younger version. Winkler finally gets to show that he didn’t graduate from Yale’s drama school with only an MFA in being cool. He can act in more than one gear. This is a fine holiday special that ought to be mixed with A Christmas Story. Winkler provides an eight minute interview that explains how he got involved in the project. He talks about how he was intimidated by Alastair Sims’ version of Scrooge. The makeup took 6 hours to make him older. Now as an early Christmas treat, here’s the ABC introduction from when the movie originally aired. They included the original commercials.