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Week of March 13, 2006

You can take "The Peacemaker," "Deep Impact," and "The Tuxedo." We'll take "Gladiator," "American Beauty" and anything else that didn't suck.

Emilio's 17

Yeah, like he needed all that overpriced crap anyway...

This lawsuit's going to make 'House Party' look like 'House Party Two!'

I told you... don't call me SENIOR!!

Maybe this is all a bad dream too?

Thanks Sharon, but I think I'll wait until this one comes out on DVD (so I can freeze frame of course)

There is absolutely, positively no nepotism in Hollywood. None.

You're good, baby, I'll give you that... but me? I'm magic.

This band will go down like a lead balloon

Well, Goodbye there Children...

They can't sell the Capitol Records building! What will be left to destroy in the next crappy 'end of the world' movie?

Same old Courtney - still sponging off Kurt

Panic on the streets of Austin

You're a fat, Botox faced, wig-wearing ninny! Oh yeah? Well your band has a dirty H addict as a lead singer!

Black Sabbath, Blondie, Miles Davis, The Sex Pistols, Lynyrd Skynyrd Enter Rock Hall



01 THE BREAK-UP $39.17
$12759/av

02 X-MEN: THE LAST STAND $34.02
$9159/av

03 OVER THE HEDGE $20.65
$5170/avg

04 THE DAVINCI CODE $18.61
$4953/avg

05 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III $4.68
$1756/avg

06 POSEIDON $3.49
$1283/avg

07 RV $3.20
$1469/avg

08 SEE NO EVIL $2.04
$1607/avg

09 AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH $1.36
$17615/avg

10 JUST MY LUCK $855K
$892/avg









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By Joshua Jabcuga

October 28, 2004

The Other One-Eyed Monster:
Wherein Josh Jabcuga serves a cold dish of revenge to film snobs with his review of the recently-released-to-DVD THRILLER: A CRUEL PICTURE, the film that inspired Tarantino’s KILL BILL.

I’m not sure you could call me a cinephile. I remember after my interview with KEVIN MURPHY of MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 over a year ago when he was promoting his excellent book, A YEAR AT THE MOVIES, the term “cinephile” left a bad taste in my mouth. I guess it was the tone that was used, but to me, the word became synonymous with film snob. And when I think of film snobs, I think of stuffy talking heads like HOLLYWOOD ELSEWHERE’s JEFFREY WELLS. JEFFREY WELLS is a talented writer, but man, the dude really deserves a dick-punch now and then.

Let’s get one thing straight: there’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking the art of movies seriously. The problem is film snobs take themselves too seriously They let their egocentric holier-than-thou attitudes get in the way in what they should be doing: trying to spread the good word about great movies, and the love we all share for these classic flicks.

Sure, there’s a bit of irony in all of this when it’s coming from a guy like me, who every week gets on his little cyber soap box and praises or criticizes efforts from authors, musicians, and film makers alike. Most of the time, I’m not into bashing people, especially considering my columns often deal with the underdogs or the dark horses of pop culture. I’m more into hyping up artists that may have been overlooked by the masses in favor of the latest craptacular opus from the most recent winner of AMERICAN IDOL. If I do drop the verbal smackdown on someone, it’s probably someone that really won’t be affected by my cutthroat abuse, like a CLAY AIKEN or a JESSICA SIMPSON, someone who will earn and waste more cash in a single year than you or I’ll probably make in our entire lives.

Back to my point: I don’t think I’m a cinephile. I’ve seen countless movies in my life, watched multiple movies in one day, spent time in a dark theater when I should have been outside enjoying the precious summer, can quote certain scenes from my favorite scripts verbatim, and have dropped full paychecks on DVDs and assorted shit that I probably don’t need. So me, like you, we’re probably movie geeks. Movie geeks being the alternative
to cinephiles. We’re usually younger than cinephiles, are of the TARANTINO generation, either coming of age in high school or college when RESERVOIR DOGS and PULP FICTION were all the rage, or a generation or two B.T. (Before TARANTINO hit the big time, that is…raised on many of the same films that TARANTINO was probably geeking out over at the video store he used to work at before Hollywood came calling).

That brings us to THRILLER: A CRUEL PICTURE, AKA THEY CALLED HER ONE EYE, AKA HOOKER’S REVENGE, a film directed by BO ARNE VIBENIUS and supposedly the first film to be banned in Sweden. It was reported elsewhere as one of TARANTINO’S main influences for KILL BILL. It was also advertised as a hardcore revenge picture. It sounded like a phsychotronic film to me, so I was game.

Have you ever heard of this film before? I hadn’t, but that’s what makes being a film geek fun. You don’t have to be like a cinephile who simply pretends to have seen everything as he or she peers down their nose at you. A film geek is all about discovering movies that may have slipped under the radar, movies that may have been big before their time, drive-in films that have somehow fallen into obscurity, or movies that studio publicity departments dropped the ball on, only to develop their own cult following after a DVD release (Ala DONNIE DARKO, or back in the day before video, when HBO was big at giving movies a second chance and allowing them to gain acceptance on their own, like EDDIE AND THE CRUISERS). There’s nothing better than being pleasantly surprised after you take a chance on a movie, and THRILLER is a wonderful example.

If you’re a frequent reader of this column, you’ve heard me describe things as “balls-to-the-wall.” It’s one of my favorites. I’d probably sell my soul to see my name on a movie poster, being attributed the quotation, “This movie is balls-to-the-wall all the way,” from Josh Jabcuga of Squib Central at Moviepoopshoot.com. How cool would that be? Well, THRILLER is balls-to-the-wall, all the way (but that’s somewhat inappropriate given the nature of the film’s material).

THRILLER is about as hardcore as they come. The plot is fairly simple. The young, mute woman known as Frigga, played by the delicious CHRISTINA LINDBERG, is taken prisoner by the upscale white pimp, Tony, played by HEINZ HOPF (and don’t think for a moment I’d heard of these people before seeing this film). How does Tony get the upper hand? He turns Frigga into a junkie by injecting her with heroin, and promising she’ll get just
enough of a dose each day to get her by, as long as she complies with servicing Tony’s clientele. To complicate matters, this scumbag types a letter to Frigga’s parents claiming she willingly ran away, and forces her to sign it. She escapes, only it’s too late. Frigga returns to her village to find her parents being buried, both having died as a result of stress and devastation. Their hearts were broken as they believed their daughter had abandoned them for a different life, a life that didn’t include them.

Tony is an evil little bastard. When Frigga is uncooperative with her first client, scratching her customer’s face into a bloody mess, Tony decides to teach Frigga a lesson. As punishment, and to set an example, Tony removes Frigga’s eye with a knife. It’s one of the most graphic scenes I’ve ever seen, and the realism is gut-wrenching. There are even rumors that for the effects shot, a real corpse was used. True or not, I have no idea, but after watching the scene, you can certainly see how such a rumor may have been started.

The remainder of the movie is a very effective, sometimes strange tale of revenge, much like a prototype for KILL BILL, which is essentially what it is. What’s unsettling about this film, though, is the use of graphic sex. Frigga is abused, forced into sexual acts with seedy customers, and the camera doesn’t flinch. It’s weird because one minute you’re watching this foreign action flick (satisfactorily dubbed, by the way, with the DVD option of subtitles), and the next, a porno. The filmed sex is not on the level of something softcore, like Cinemax After Dark; this film shows penetration, with a character who is, for all intents and purposes, being raped. Toward the end of the second act, there’s even a…well, let’s just say director BO ARNE VIBENIUS tosses in what they refer to in the porn industry as a money shot, which all but guaranteed an X rating was delivered to the film, and deservedly so.

The use of sex in THRILLER is twofold. First off, there’s nothing sensual or erotic about it in this film. By all means, there shouldn’t be. It’s rape, and the director of the film handles it in such a way that is not gratuitous, if that’s possible. It also appears as if a body double was used, because the film’s star never really has a close-up in any of the scenes where penetration is shown, but that doesn’t make the scenes any less harrowing. Secondly, the graphic sex adds both an obvious and subconscious layer to the film, where the viewer can’t help but identify and feel for the victim. As a result of the graphic sex scenes, the motivation for Frigga to get her revenge is unparalleled, and certainly qualified beyond any level heretofore unseen in film, in one movie geek’s opinion.

If you can get beyond the fact that this film has some true hardcore pornographic elements to it, I’d highly recommend seeing it. For some people, that will be difficult to overlook, which is totally understandable. Still, it’s an unforgettable experience. If you’re a fan of QUENTIN TARANTINO’S KILL BILL, I’d say this film is a must. It’s a different kind of film and it probably requires a bit of an acquired taste from the viewer.

Depending on how you look at it, THRILLER is either a twisted action movie with the most hardcore sex scenes you’ll ever see, or it’s a porno with the best plot in the history of smut. And chances are the cinephiles out there will think they’re too good for this trash, and they’re probably right. Then again, no one ever accused cinephiles of being cool.

For the record, Josh Jabcuga would watch THRILLER over THE ENGLISH PATIENT any day of the week. When not taking belated shots at stuffy Web columnists, Josh Jabcuga can be found writing Squib Central, published every Thursday, exclusively at www.moviepoopshoot.com.

Press kits, promos, items for consideration to be reviewed in Squib Central should be sent to:
Josh Jabcuga
3910 Sharondale Dr.
Hamburg, NY 14075

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Nocturnal Admissions
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Trailer Park
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New DVD Releases
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by Scott Bowden

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