We here at FRED are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to FRED to be voted on by you, the audience.

At the end of the 3rd Challenge, the two Challengers with the most votes will face off, mano a mano for the title of…

MASTER OF SONG FU

However, there may yet be one final challenge for this newly crowned Master – for they very well might (if the stars align and schedules permit) face off against one of the LEGENDARY MASTERS – artists like Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, Doc Hammer, & The RiffTones. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which may or may not be revealed as your ultimate challenge. Only the wheel of uncertainty can predict (and even then, not).

So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

Write a song that is about (or at least has key to the central narrative) RAIN (the meteorological phenomena). At some point (or throughout) the song, you must utilize an instrument (or vocals) that represent the rain. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds.

And then our Challengers were given their Round 2 Challenge…

ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a song that does not rhyme.

CLARIFICATION: Your song can be in any style, but must not contain any rhymes of 2 dissimilar words within a traditional verse structure. Exact repetition of a phrase or word is permitted. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds..

If you want some inspiration, here’s a number song from The Muppets…
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/rhymingsong.mp3]

And then came the Round 3 Challenge…

ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

Write a song that involves a recipe for something.

This recipe can be for anything – not just food. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds..

If you want some inspiration, here’s a recipe song by Queen Ida…
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/queen_ida-zydeco_taco.mp3]

And then, the votes from all 3 Rounds were tabulated, and the TOP 2 VOTE-GETTERS went head-to-head in the Final Round Challenge. The winner of that battle will be declared this edition’s MASTER OF SONG FU. So what was that Final Challenge?

FINAL CHALLENGE

Let’s call this one Challenge & Victory

Your task is to write a single tune that is actually comprised of two individual songs – the first half details a problem to be conquered or a battle to be fought, and the second half is a victorious, triumphant resolution. Both of these halves must feel independent of the other, but may contain an element that bridges the two. Your song must run no shorter than 3 minutes..

If you want some inspiration, here’s Queen…
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/queenrock.mp3]

Below, you’ll find the songs from our final two Challengers, plus the form for you to place your vote for your favorite. In addition, you’ll be able to listen to the out-of-competition Shadow Entries submitted for this Challenge. If you’d like to hear all of the Challenger songs from this edition of Song Fu, CLICK HERE.

THE FINAL CHALLENGERS

MIKE LOMBARDO

Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing geek-pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time playing way too many video games or teaching small children how to bang on pianos. A graduate of Berklee College of Music, Mike is currently finishing up his second album with his piano rock band, the Mike Lombardo Trio.
Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
ROUND 1 SONG: “Sit And Watch The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/mike_lombardo-sit_and_watch_the_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “I Found You”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/mike_lombardo-i_found_you.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “We Don’t Have Any Eggs (from Man In Kitchen – The Musical)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/mike_lombardo-we_dont_have_any_eggs.mp3]
FINAL CHALLENGE SONG: “This Song Is Meta (And So Is This Title)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song4/mike_lombardo-this_song_is_meta_and_so_is_this_title.mp3]

LEIGH & HOOVER

Dave & William have been writing songs together for decades, yet have still managed to avoid finding a clever name for themselves. William writes the words; Dave the music… which is good because it doesn’t really work the other way ’round.

Official Website: www.cratchit.org/music
ROUND 1 SONG: “Summer Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/leigh_and_hoover-summer_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “We Do What We Do”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/leigh_and_hoover-we_do_what_we_do.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Primordial Soup (Traditional Recipe)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/leigh_and_hoover-primordial_soup.mp3]
FINAL CHALLENGE SONG: “Yesterday Hero – Someday”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song4/leigh_and_hoover-yesterday_hero-someday.mp3]

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the FINAL CHALLENGE songs, CLICK HERE.

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 3 songs, CLICK HERE.

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 2 songs, CLICK HERE.

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

FINAL CHALLENGE VOTING

And now, it’s time for the voting. For this FINAL CHALLENGE round, you can CHOOSE ONE Challenger song. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SUNDAY, MARCH 28th.

THE FINAL CHALLENGE WINNER WILL BE NOTIFIED VIA E-MAIL AFTER VOTING CLOSES

If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again. PLEASE NOTE: This voting system bases voting eligibility on your IP Address. If there are other computers on a home or business network that share the same IP address through a router, it may say you’ve already voted. Unfortunately, there is no way around this, and still be able to prevent ballot stuffing. It’s just the nature of the online voting beast.

FINAL CHALLENGE VOTING

[poll id=”27″]

View Results

FINAL VOTE TALLY FOR ROUNDS 1-3

* Mike Lombardo – 444 Votes
* Leigh & Hoover – 301 Votes
* Denise Hudson – 276 Votes
* Edric Haleen – 228 Votes
* Gorbzilla – 223 Votes
* Godz Poodlz – 190 Votes
* Caleb Hines – 187 Votes
* Inverse T. Clown – 170 Votes
* Kylie Petto – 166 Votes
* Jeff MacDougall – 151 Votes
* Governing Dynamics – 135 Votes
* Buckethat Bobby Matheson – 132 Votes
* Glen Raphael – 131 Votes
* Ian “Two Shades” Johnson – 120 Votes
* Common Lisp – 103 Votes
* Zer0guy – 98 Votes
* Jutze Schult – 93 Votes
* Boffo Yux Dudes – 88 Votes
* Taryn Miller – 84 Votes
* Spencer Sokol – 76 Votes

ROUND 3 VOTING RESULTS

[poll id=”26″]

View Results

ROUND 2 VOTING RESULTS

[poll id=”25″]

View Results

ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS

[poll id=”24″]

View Results

SHADOW ENTRIES

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)

Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant

ROUND 1 SHADOW SONG: “Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/shadow_song-joe_covenant_lamb-rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SHADOW SONG: “The “Jay Is Awesome” Polka”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/shadow_song-joe_covenant_lamb-the_jay_is_awesome_polka.mp3]
ROUND 3 SHADOW SONG: “Devil’s Fu Cake”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/shadow_song-joe_covenant_lamb-devils_fu_cake.mp3]
FINAL CHALLENGE SHADOW SONG: “New Mombasa – Finish the Fight”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song4/shadow_song-joe_covenant_lamb-new_mombasa-finish_the_fight.mp3]

GOVERNING DYNAMICS

Governing Dynamics is the name of Travis Norris’s eternal sideproject, where all the stuff written by him goes when his current band (whatever it may be) refuses to play it. The music has been favorably compared to such bands as Eels, Radiohead, The White Stripes, and other bands that cool people like. It has been unfavorably compared to the tactics used by the FBI against the Branch Dividians at Waco. If he has to describe his music by genre (and refer to himself in third person) Travis calls it “alternative/shoegazer with a liberal dose of Midwestern rock”.
Official Website: governingdynamics.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/travisnorris
ROUND 1 SONG: “Rain in Chicago”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/governing_dynamics-rain_in_chicago.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Restrictions”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/governing_dynamics-restrictions.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Broken Boy”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/governing_dynamics-broken_boy.mp3]
FINAL CHALLENGE SHADOW SONG: “Deconstructive Witticisms – Try”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song4/shadow_song-governing_dynamics-deconstructive_witticisms_try.mp3]

DENISE HUDSON

Denise Hudson is a musician of non-determined hair-color from Austin, Texas who is married to an musicaphile Australian. She hopes that she typed up her bio correctly (alas, she cannot spell!); and additionally hopes she amuses you, but she is done apologizing now. If she happens to make you slightly uncomfortable, she supposes there’s nothing to be done for it…
Official Website: denisehudson.bandcamp.com

Twitter: twitter.com/RangerDenni
ROUND 1 SONG: “Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/denise_hudson-rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Something Very Horrible (Bluebeard’s Lament)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/denise_hudson-something_very_horrible_bluebeards_lament.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Duality Cupcake (‘Why’)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/denise_hudson-duality_cupcake_why.mp3]
FINAL CHALLENGE SHADOW SONG: “Keys and Lies (feat. Joe “Covenant” Lamb)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song4/shadow_song-denise_hudson-keys_and_lies.mp3]

GLEN RAPHAEL

Glen Raphael is a Manhattan-based software geek, circus performer, and guitarist/singer/songwriter who counts Jonathan Coulton and Paul & Storm as influences. He has recently written songs that featured killer robots, exploding pants, and the Statue of Liberty having a mid-life crisis. Though not all at once. Yet.
Official Website: youtube.com/glenra
ROUND 1 SONG: “Can’t See The Sky”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/glen_raphael-cant_see_the_sky.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Song That Doesn’t Rhyme”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/glen_raphael-song_that_doesnt_rhyme.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Big In Japan”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/glen_raphael-big_in_japan.mp3]
FINAL CHALLENGE SHADOW SONG: “When The Prozac Kicks In”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song4/shadow_song-glen_raphael-when_the_prozac_kicks_in.mp3]

INVERSE T. CLOWN

Inverse T. Clown is a jack of many entertainment trades, songwriting being one of his favorites. He has an album half-ready to be recorded, and is looking forward to garnering the patience to sit down and do it. Even more so, he’s looking forward to Song Fu 6. There is an ongoing series of internet covers of Inverse’s song “Today’s The Day” – and he loves them all – but it would nice to get some steam behind the endless REST of his genius, and Song Fu seems just the place to start it up. He’s funny, he’s clever, his music is synthetic, and he’s champing at the bit to throw everything he’s got to his clamoring fans. Stick around, and see why Salemites everywhere call this musical genius “The Future of Greatness”.
Official Website: toomuchawesome.ning.com/profile/InverseTClown
ROUND 1 SONG: “Sexy In The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/inverse_t_clown-sexy_in_the_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “An Angry Rant”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/inverse_t_clown-an_angry_rant.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Devastator”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/inverse_t_clown-devastator.mp3]
FINAL CHALLENGE SHADOW SONG: “Manic Depressive”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song4/shadow_song-inverse_t_clown-manic_depressive.mp3]

GINYU

From TV to the internet and more, I first got into music back in 1998 doing my own music show. It was around that time that I became a DJ at WRTC 89.3 FM. Music has been in my family for many years. My father is a singer. I, on the other hand, do a little bit of everything, from YouTube to my travels around the US and the UK, entertainment is in my blood. Making a song for Song Fu has been fun. I hope to do it again.
Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/Ginyu2007
FINAL CHALLENGE SHADOW SONG: “Quest For The Fu”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song4/shadow_song-ginyu-quest_for_the_fu.mp3]

If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

[ad#contestbox]

We here at FRED are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to FRED to be voted on by you, the audience.

At the end of the 3rd Challenge, the two Challengers with the most votes will face off, mano a mano for the title of…

MASTER OF SONG FU

However, there may yet be one final challenge for this newly crowned Master – for they very well might (if the stars align and schedules permit) face off against one of the LEGENDARY MASTERS – artists like Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, Doc Hammer, & The RiffTones. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which may or may not be revealed as your ultimate challenge. Only the wheel of uncertainty can predict (and even then, not).

So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

Write a song that is about (or at least has key to the central narrative) RAIN (the meteorological phenomena). At some point (or throughout) the song, you must utilize an instrument (or vocals) that represent the rain. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds.

And then our Challengers were given their Round 2 Challenge…

ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a song that does not rhyme.

CLARIFICATION: Your song can be in any style, but must not contain any rhymes of 2 dissimilar words within a traditional verse structure. Exact repetition of a phrase or word is permitted. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds..

If you want some inspiration, here’s a number song from The Muppets…
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/rhymingsong.mp3]

And then came the Round 3 Challenge…

ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

Write a song that involves a recipe for something.

This recipe can be for anything – not just food. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds..

If you want some inspiration, here’s a recipe song by Queen Ida…
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/queen_ida-zydeco_taco.mp3]

And now, the votes from all 3 Rounds have been tabulated, and you’ll find the TOP 2 VOTE-GETTERS below, who must now go head-to-head in the Final Round Challenge. The winner of that battle will be declared this edition’s MASTER OF SONG FU. Scroll down for the Challengers and the Final Challenge reveal…

THE FINAL CHALLENGERS

MIKE LOMBARDO

Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing geek-pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time playing way too many video games or teaching small children how to bang on pianos. A graduate of Berklee College of Music, Mike is currently finishing up his second album with his piano rock band, the Mike Lombardo Trio.
Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
ROUND 1 SONG: “Sit And Watch The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/mike_lombardo-sit_and_watch_the_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “I Found You”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/mike_lombardo-i_found_you.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “We Don’t Have Any Eggs (from Man In Kitchen – The Musical)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/mike_lombardo-we_dont_have_any_eggs.mp3]

LEIGH & HOOVER

Dave & William have been writing songs together for decades, yet have still managed to avoid finding a clever name for themselves. William writes the words; Dave the music… which is good because it doesn’t really work the other way ’round.

Official Website: www.cratchit.org/music
ROUND 1 SONG: “Summer Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/leigh_and_hoover-summer_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “We Do What We Do”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/leigh_and_hoover-we_do_what_we_do.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Primordial Soup (Traditional Recipe)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/leigh_and_hoover-primordial_soup.mp3]

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 3 songs, CLICK HERE.

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 2 songs, CLICK HERE.

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

FINAL CHALLENGE

Let’s call this one Challenge & Victory

Your task is to write a single tune that is actually comprised of two individual songs – the first half details a problem to be conquered or a battle to be fought, and the second half is a victorious, triumphant resolution. Both of these halves must feel independent of the other, but may contain an element that bridges the two. Your song must run no shorter than 3 minutes..

Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Sunday, March 21st, 2010.

There will be a Final Challenge Listening Party at 8:30pm EST on Monday, March 22nd HERE. Voting on the Final Challenge will commence immediately after the listening party.

If you want some inspiration, here’s Queen…
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/queenrock.mp3]

FINAL VOTE TALLY FOR ALL 3 ROUNDS

* Mike Lombardo – 444 Votes
* Leigh & Hoover – 301 Votes
* Denise Hudson – 276 Votes
* Edric Haleen – 228 Votes
* Gorbzilla – 223 Votes
* Godz Poodlz – 190 Votes
* Caleb Hines – 187 Votes
* Inverse T. Clown – 170 Votes
* Kylie Petto – 166 Votes
* Jeff MacDougall – 151 Votes
* Governing Dynamics – 135 Votes
* Buckethat Bobby Matheson – 132 Votes
* Glen Raphael – 131 Votes
* Ian “Two Shades” Johnson – 120 Votes
* Common Lisp – 103 Votes
* Zer0guy – 98 Votes
* Jutze Schult – 93 Votes
* Boffo Yux Dudes – 88 Votes
* Taryn Miller – 84 Votes
* Spencer Sokol – 76 Votes

ROUND 3 VOTING RESULTS

[poll id=”26″]

View Results

ROUND 2 VOTING RESULTS

[poll id=”25″]

View Results

ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS

[poll id=”24″]

View Results

If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

[ad#contestbox]

We here at FRED are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to FRED to be voted on by you, the audience.

At the end of the 3rd Challenge, the two Challengers with the most votes will face off, mano a mano for the title of…

MASTER OF SONG FU

However, there may yet be one final challenge for this newly crowned Master – for they very well might (if the stars align and schedules permit) face off against one of the LEGENDARY MASTERS – artists like Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, Doc Hammer, & The RiffTones. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which may or may not be revealed as your ultimate challenge. Only the wheel of uncertainty can predict (and even then, not).

So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

Write a song that is about (or at least has key to the central narrative) RAIN (the meteorological phenomena). At some point (or throughout) the song, you must utilize an instrument (or vocals) that represent the rain. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds.

And then our Challengers were given their Round 2 Challenge…

ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a song that does not rhyme.

CLARIFICATION: Your song can be in any style, but must not contain any rhymes of 2 dissimilar words within a traditional verse structure. Exact repetition of a phrase or word is permitted. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds..

If you want some inspiration, here’s a number song from The Muppets…
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/rhymingsong.mp3]

And then came the Round 3 Challenge…

ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

Write a song that involves a recipe for something.

This recipe can be for anything – not just food. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds..

If you want some inspiration, here’s a recipe song by Queen Ida…
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/queen_ida-zydeco_taco.mp3]

You’ll find the Round 3 songs (as well as those from Round 1 and Round 2) from each of our Challengers below, followed immediately by the Round 3 Voting Form! After voting ends on this round, the votes from all 3 Rounds will be tabulated and the TOP 2 VOTE-GETTERS will then go head-to-head in Round 4.

THE CHALLENGERS

MIKE LOMBARDO

Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing geek-pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time playing way too many video games or teaching small children how to bang on pianos. A graduate of Berklee College of Music, Mike is currently finishing up his second album with his piano rock band, the Mike Lombardo Trio.
Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
ROUND 1 SONG: “Sit And Watch The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/mike_lombardo-sit_and_watch_the_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “I Found You”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/mike_lombardo-i_found_you.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “We Don’t Have Any Eggs (from Man In Kitchen – The Musical)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/mike_lombardo-we_dont_have_any_eggs.mp3]

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also – feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!

Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html

ROUND 1 SONG: “In The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/edric_haleen-in_the_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “This Song Doesn’t Rhyme”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/edric_haleen-this_song_doesnt_rhyme.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Robot Monkey 7.2”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/edric_haleen-robot_monkey_7_2.mp3]

GODZ POODLZ

Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!

Official Website: godzpoodlz.bandcamp.com

ROUND 1 SONG: “Rain Is Pouring Down”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/godz_poodlz-rain_is_pouring_down.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Blue Sky Thinking”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/godz_poodlz-blue_sky_thinking.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Godz Poodlz Jamz”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/godz_poodlz-godz_poodlz_jamz.mp3]

SPENCER SOKOL

Spencer is trying to do things. Music is one of those things. It is painfully obvious to him, if not others, that he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. In the past he has been musically inclined with a guitar and occasionally with a piano. He is trying to be musically active once again, but this time he is attempting to do so while on the Internets. Creating music is a large part of his 40×40 list and he thinks this competition seems like “a Super Mega Happy Fun way” to rekindle his musical desires.
Official Website: www.spencersokol.com
Twitter: twitter.com/spencersokol
ROUND 1 SONG: “Reservations”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/spencer_sokol-reservations.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Minus”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/spencer_sokol-minus.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Wicked One”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/spencer_sokol-wicked_one.mp3]

KYLIE PETTO

My name is Kylie, and I’m your everyday 17-year-old girl with a passion for music. I’ve been writing my own songs since I was ten years old, and nothing is more fun for me than to sit down with my guitar and unwind. Now I thankfully have a violin to add to my arsenal, and I’m armed and ready for my second go at song fu!

Official Website: NONE
Twitter: twitter.com/KyliePetto

ROUND 1 SONG: “Robby”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/kylie_petto-robby.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “All These Knives”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/kylie_petto-all_these_knives.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Recipe For Disaster”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/kylie_petto-recipe_for_disaster.mp3]

CALEB HINES

Caleb is a software engineer who pretends to be a musician on the internet. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. His favorite style of music went out of style at the end of the 18th century, but after discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “omodern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders, baroque flute, ukulele, melodica, pretends to play keyboard and guitar, and most recently, bass. He also uses virtual instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com
Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines

ROUND 1 SONG: “Water Cycle”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/caleb_hines-water_cycle.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliaphobia”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/caleb_hines-hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliaphobia.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Secret Recipe Ninja”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/caleb_hines-secret_recipe_ninja.mp3]

BOFFO YUX DUDES

The Boffo Yux Dudes began in the 80’s and 90’s doing radio comedy, and promptly fell asleep for the next 15 years. Tom Giarrosso and Allan Morgan (Pop Machine) continue the tradition of trying to recreate their lost youth with exceedingly torturous music, instead of spending the money on therapy like normal people having a midlife crisis. Tom blames Mike Lombardo for showing him the Fu way of doing things, and now he has to listen to the voices and write songs instead of doing his actual day job.
Official Website: www.boffoyux.com
Twitter: twitter.com/boffoyuxdudes
ROUND 1 SONG: “Reign of the King”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/boffo_yux_dudes-reign_of_the_king.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Al’s Blues”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/boffo_yux_dudes-als_blues.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “A Recipe For Love”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/boffo_yux_dudes-a_recipe_for_love.mp3]

DENISE HUDSON

Denise Hudson is a musician of non-determined hair-color from Austin, Texas who is married to an musicaphile Australian. She hopes that she typed up her bio correctly (alas, she cannot spell!); and additionally hopes she amuses you, but she is done apologizing now. If she happens to make you slightly uncomfortable, she supposes there’s nothing to be done for it…
Official Website: denisehudson.bandcamp.com

Twitter: twitter.com/RangerDenni
ROUND 1 SONG: “Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/denise_hudson-rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Something Very Horrible (Bluebeard’s Lament)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/denise_hudson-something_very_horrible_bluebeards_lament.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Duality Cupcake (‘Why’)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/denise_hudson-duality_cupcake_why.mp3]

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. I write and record my songs solo, in my little make-shift studio, and when I play live, I often get some help from friends. Some of my music is funny, and some isn’t. More often than not, the humour is unintentional. My Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back again, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been described as a “Cajun Buddy Holly” and an “Optimistic Elvis Costello”. It’s been said that I sound like “That guy from the Barenaked Ladies” and a “Nasaly Bob Dylan”. One of these days, I hope to have a description that is accurate.
Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
ROUND 1 SONG: “Forget About The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/buckethat_bobby_matheson-forget_about_the_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “I’m Fine (Could Be Worse)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/buckethat_bobby_matheson-im_fine_could_be_worse.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “White Russian”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/buckethat_bobby_matheson-white_russian.mp3]

IAN “TWO SHADES” JOHNSON

Ian is a guitarist/singer/pianist/other-stuff-ist. He was a participant of Song-Fu #5, and is a member of Too Much Awesome. His songs have been described (by himself) as “probably not as funny as I think they are.”
Official Website: ianjohnson.bandcamp.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Downpour”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/ian_two_shades_johnson-downpour.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Two Words”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/ian_two_shades_johnson-two_words.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Friday Night”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/ian_two_shades_johnson-friday_night.mp3]

GORBZILLA

Gorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.
Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Freezing Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/gorbzilla-freezing_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “A Song About This Song”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/gorbzilla-a_song_about_this_song.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “My American Dream”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/gorbzilla-my_american_dream.mp3]

GOVERNING DYNAMICS

Governing Dynamics is the name of Travis Norris’s eternal sideproject, where all the stuff written by him goes when his current band (whatever it may be) refuses to play it. The music has been favorably compared to such bands as Eels, Radiohead, The White Stripes, and other bands that cool people like. It has been unfavorably compared to the tactics used by the FBI against the Branch Dividians at Waco. If he has to describe his music by genre (and refer to himself in third person) Travis calls it “alternative/shoegazer with a liberal dose of Midwestern rock”.
Official Website: governingdynamics.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/travisnorris
ROUND 1 SONG: “Rain in Chicago”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/governing_dynamics-rain_in_chicago.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Restrictions”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/governing_dynamics-restrictions.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Broken Boy”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/governing_dynamics-broken_boy.mp3]

ZER0GUY

Two brothers from the midwest return to Song Fu with their brand of eclectic musical ideas. They don’t like to stick to a genre, and sometimes they suffer from swarms of bees.
Official Website: www.myspace.com/zer0guyband
ROUND 1 SONG: “Thundercade”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/zer0guy-thundercade.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Guitar Tonite”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/zer0guy-guitar_tonite.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Recipe For a Bad Man”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/zer0guy-recipe_four_a_bad_man.mp3]

JUTZE SCHULT

Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to live in a dream world where there has been no Grunge and where he is a talented singer. Sometimes his little folky pop songs find their way into the real world. Here they suffer from his hoarse voice and the do-it-yourself home recording production, struggling to appeal off and on beaten musical paths.
Official Website: www.jutze.com
Twitter: twitter.com/schult
ROUND 1 SONG: “Kingdom Of Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/jutze_schult-kingdom_of_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Communication Removal”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/jutze_schult-communication_removal.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Schnitzel Soup and Vodka”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/jutze_schult-schnitzel_soup_and_vodka.mp3]

LEIGH & HOOVER

Dave & William have been writing songs together for decades, yet have still managed to avoid finding a clever name for themselves. William writes the words; Dave the music… which is good because it doesn’t really work the other way ’round.

Official Website: www.cratchit.org/music
ROUND 1 SONG: “Summer Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/leigh_and_hoover-summer_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “We Do What We Do”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/leigh_and_hoover-we_do_what_we_do.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Primordial Soup (Traditional Recipe)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/leigh_and_hoover-primordial_soup.mp3]

COMMON LISP

Common Lisp is the name for the music projects of yours truly, Paul R. Potts, and any collaborators I may be able to drag into participating. I am a middle-aged software engineer with four children, some home recording gear, and too many guitars. I have never written an original song. It’s about time, don’t you think?
Official Website: commonlisp.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/paulrpotts
ROUND 1 SONG: “Polly Loves the Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/common_lisp-polly_loves_the_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “War Criminal”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/common_lisp-war_criminal.mp3]

GLEN RAPHAEL

Glen Raphael is a Manhattan-based software geek, circus performer, and guitarist/singer/songwriter who counts Jonathan Coulton and Paul & Storm as influences. He has recently written songs that featured killer robots, exploding pants, and the Statue of Liberty having a mid-life crisis. Though not all at once. Yet.
Official Website: youtube.com/glenra
ROUND 1 SONG: “Can’t See The Sky”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/glen_raphael-cant_see_the_sky.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Song That Doesn’t Rhyme”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/glen_raphael-song_that_doesnt_rhyme.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Big In Japan”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/glen_raphael-big_in_japan.mp3]

INVERSE T. CLOWN

Inverse T. Clown is a jack of many entertainment trades, songwriting being one of his favorites. He has an album half-ready to be recorded, and is looking forward to garnering the patience to sit down and do it. Even more so, he’s looking forward to Song Fu 6. There is an ongoing series of internet covers of Inverse’s song “Today’s The Day” – and he loves them all – but it would nice to get some steam behind the endless REST of his genius, and Song Fu seems just the place to start it up. He’s funny, he’s clever, his music is synthetic, and he’s champing at the bit to throw everything he’s got to his clamoring fans. Stick around, and see why Salemites everywhere call this musical genius “The Future of Greatness”.
Official Website: toomuchawesome.ning.com/profile/InverseTClown
ROUND 1 SONG: “Sexy In The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/inverse_t_clown-sexy_in_the_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “An Angry Rant”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/inverse_t_clown-an_angry_rant.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Devastator”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/inverse_t_clown-devastator.mp3]

JEFF MacDOUGALL

Coming in at twice Mike Lombardo’s age, Jeff MacDougall is back and ready to throw some Fu! When asked about the competition, he had this to say: “Yeah. That’s right. I’m back. *coughs* *mumbles*” This will be a Song Fu for the ages!
Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com
Twitter: twitter.com/jeffmacdougall
ROUND 1 SONG: “Beautiful Day”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/jeff_macdougall-beautiful_day.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Ken Plume Is To Blame”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/jeff_macdougall-ken_plume_is_to_blame.mp3]

TARYN MILLER

Taryn Miller is an 18-year-old, gluten-intolerant, crazy-hat-wearing guitarist (and other stuff too, but she’s played guitar longest). She hails from Winfield, Kansas – Home of Bluegrass.
Official Website: myspace.com/chellenesuperstar
ROUND 1 SONG: “Crowded And Clouded”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/taryn_miller-crowded_and_clouded.mp3]

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 3 songs, CLICK HERE.

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 2 songs, CLICK HERE.

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

ROUND 3 VOTING

And now, it’s time for the voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SATURDAY, MARCH 13th.

THE ROUND 4 CHALLENGERS AND CHALLENGE WILL BE REVEALED ON MONDAY, MARCH 15th.

If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again. PLEASE NOTE: This voting system bases voting eligibility on your IP Address. If there are other computers on a home or business network that share the same IP address through a router, it may say you’ve already voted. Unfortunately, there is no way around this, and still be able to prevent ballot stuffing. It’s just the nature of the online voting beast.

ROUND 3 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

[poll id=”26″]

View Results

ROUND 2 VOTING RESULTS

[poll id=”25″]

View Results

ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS

[poll id=”24″]

View Results

SHADOW ENTRIES

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)

Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant

ROUND 1 SHADOW SONG: “Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/shadow_song-joe_covenant_lamb-rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SHADOW SONG: “The “Jay Is Awesome” Polka”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/shadow_song-joe_covenant_lamb-the_jay_is_awesome_polka.mp3]
ROUND 3 SHADOW SONG: “Devil’s Fu Cake”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/shadow_song-joe_covenant_lamb-devils_fu_cake.mp3]

BRAM TANT

Bram Tant is a Belgian coputer science student with a distinct love for music. Ever since going to music school as a kid, he’s enjoyed singing and playing the guitar, and has been writing songs for some years now. While he’s still learning to play the guitar, sing and write songs better, he improves with each attempt, and he makes up for it (and the lack of proper recording equipment) with his passion and enthusiasm. He would like to become a professional musician someday, but for now he’s satisfied with writing and performing for friends, family, and strangers on the internet.

Official Website: studwww.ugent.be/~btant/

Twitter: twitter.com/dantesxx

ROUND 3 SHADOW SONG: “If You Take”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song3/shadow_entry-bram_tant-if_you_take.mp3]

If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

[ad#contestbox]

We here at FRED are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to FRED to be voted on by you, the audience.

At the end of the 3rd Challenge, the two Challengers with the most votes will face off, mano a mano for the title of…

MASTER OF SONG FU

However, there may yet be one final challenge for this newly crowned Master – for they very well might (if the stars align and schedules permit) face off against one of the LEGENDARY MASTERS – artists like Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, Doc Hammer, & The RiffTones. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which may or may not be revealed as your ultimate challenge. Only the wheel of uncertainty can predict (and even then, not).

So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

Write a song that is about (or at least has key to the central narrative) RAIN (the meteorological phenomena). At some point (or throughout) the song, you must utilize an instrument (or vocals) that represent the rain. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds.

And then our Challengers were given their Round 2 Challenge…

ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a song that does not rhyme.

CLARIFICATION: Your song can be in any style, but must not contain any rhymes of 2 dissimilar words within a traditional verse structure. Exact repetition of a phrase or word is permitted. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds..

If you want some inspiration, here’s a number song from The Muppets…
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/rhymingsong.mp3]

You’ll find the Round 1 and Round 2 songs from each of our Challengers below, as well as the results of the Round 1 voting and the STILL ONGOING Round 2 voting. More importantly, though, you’ll find the reveal of the 3rd Challenge!

THE CHALLENGERS

MIKE LOMBARDO

Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing geek-pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time playing way too many video games or teaching small children how to bang on pianos. A graduate of Berklee College of Music, Mike is currently finishing up his second album with his piano rock band, the Mike Lombardo Trio.
Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
ROUND 1 SONG: “Sit And Watch The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/mike_lombardo-sit_and_watch_the_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “I Found You”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/mike_lombardo-i_found_you.mp3]

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also – feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!

Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html

ROUND 1 SONG: “In The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/edric_haleen-in_the_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “This Song Doesn’t Rhyme”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/edric_haleen-this_song_doesnt_rhyme.mp3]

GODZ POODLZ

Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!

Official Website: godzpoodlz.bandcamp.com

ROUND 1 SONG: “Rain Is Pouring Down”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/godz_poodlz-rain_is_pouring_down.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Blue Sky Thinking”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/godz_poodlz-blue_sky_thinking.mp3]

SPENCER SOKOL

Spencer is trying to do things. Music is one of those things. It is painfully obvious to him, if not others, that he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. In the past he has been musically inclined with a guitar and occasionally with a piano. He is trying to be musically active once again, but this time he is attempting to do so while on the Internets. Creating music is a large part of his 40×40 list and he thinks this competition seems like “a Super Mega Happy Fun way” to rekindle his musical desires.
Official Website: www.spencersokol.com
Twitter: twitter.com/spencersokol
ROUND 1 SONG: “Reservations”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/spencer_sokol-reservations.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Minus”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/spencer_sokol-minus.mp3]

KYLIE PETTO

My name is Kylie, and I’m your everyday 17-year-old girl with a passion for music. I’ve been writing my own songs since I was ten years old, and nothing is more fun for me than to sit down with my guitar and unwind. Now I thankfully have a violin to add to my arsenal, and I’m armed and ready for my second go at song fu!

Official Website: NONE
Twitter: twitter.com/KyliePetto

ROUND 1 SONG: “Robby”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/kylie_petto-robby.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “All These Knives”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/kylie_petto-all_these_knives.mp3]

CALEB HINES

Caleb is a software engineer who pretends to be a musician on the internet. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. His favorite style of music went out of style at the end of the 18th century, but after discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “omodern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders, baroque flute, ukulele, melodica, pretends to play keyboard and guitar, and most recently, bass. He also uses virtual instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com
Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines

ROUND 1 SONG: “Water Cycle”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/caleb_hines-water_cycle.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliaphobia”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/caleb_hines-hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliaphobia.mp3]

BOFFO YUX DUDES

The Boffo Yux Dudes began in the 80’s and 90’s doing radio comedy, and promptly fell asleep for the next 15 years. Tom Giarrosso and Allan Morgan (Pop Machine) continue the tradition of trying to recreate their lost youth with exceedingly torturous music, instead of spending the money on therapy like normal people having a midlife crisis. Tom blames Mike Lombardo for showing him the Fu way of doing things, and now he has to listen to the voices and write songs instead of doing his actual day job.
Official Website: www.boffoyux.com
Twitter: twitter.com/boffoyuxdudes
ROUND 1 SONG: “Reign of the King”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/boffo_yux_dudes-reign_of_the_king.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Al’s Blues”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/boffo_yux_dudes-als_blues.mp3]

DENISE HUDSON

Denise Hudson is a musician of non-determined hair-color from Austin, Texas who is married to an musicaphile Australian. She hopes that she typed up her bio correctly (alas, she cannot spell!); and additionally hopes she amuses you, but she is done apologizing now. If she happens to make you slightly uncomfortable, she supposes there’s nothing to be done for it…
Official Website: denisehudson.bandcamp.com

Twitter: twitter.com/RangerDenni
ROUND 1 SONG: “Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/denise_hudson-rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Something Very Horrible (Bluebeard’s Lament)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/denise_hudson-something_very_horrible_bluebeards_lament.mp3]

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. I write and record my songs solo, in my little make-shift studio, and when I play live, I often get some help from friends. Some of my music is funny, and some isn’t. More often than not, the humour is unintentional. My Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back again, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been described as a “Cajun Buddy Holly” and an “Optimistic Elvis Costello”. It’s been said that I sound like “That guy from the Barenaked Ladies” and a “Nasaly Bob Dylan”. One of these days, I hope to have a description that is accurate.
Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
ROUND 1 SONG: “Forget About The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/buckethat_bobby_matheson-forget_about_the_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “I’m Fine (Could Be Worse)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/buckethat_bobby_matheson-im_fine_could_be_worse.mp3]

IAN “TWO SHADES” JOHNSON

Ian is a guitarist/singer/pianist/other-stuff-ist. He was a participant of Song-Fu #5, and is a member of Too Much Awesome. His songs have been described (by himself) as “probably not as funny as I think they are.”
Official Website: ianjohnson.bandcamp.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Downpour”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/ian_two_shades_johnson-downpour.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Two Words”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/ian_two_shades_johnson-two_words.mp3]

GORBZILLA

Gorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.
Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Freezing Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/gorbzilla-freezing_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “A Song About This Song”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/gorbzilla-a_song_about_this_song.mp3]

GOVERNING DYNAMICS

Governing Dynamics is the name of Travis Norris’s eternal sideproject, where all the stuff written by him goes when his current band (whatever it may be) refuses to play it. The music has been favorably compared to such bands as Eels, Radiohead, The White Stripes, and other bands that cool people like. It has been unfavorably compared to the tactics used by the FBI against the Branch Dividians at Waco. If he has to describe his music by genre (and refer to himself in third person) Travis calls it “alternative/shoegazer with a liberal dose of Midwestern rock”.
Official Website: governingdynamics.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/travisnorris
ROUND 1 SONG: “Rain in Chicago”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/governing_dynamics-rain_in_chicago.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Restrictions”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/governing_dynamics-restrictions.mp3]

ZER0GUY

Two brothers from the midwest return to Song Fu with their brand of eclectic musical ideas. They don’t like to stick to a genre, and sometimes they suffer from swarms of bees.
Official Website: www.myspace.com/zer0guyband
ROUND 1 SONG: “Thundercade”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/zer0guy-thundercade.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Guitar Tonite”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/zer0guy-guitar_tonite.mp3]

JUTZE SCHULT

Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to live in a dream world where there has been no Grunge and where he is a talented singer. Sometimes his little folky pop songs find their way into the real world. Here they suffer from his hoarse voice and the do-it-yourself home recording production, struggling to appeal off and on beaten musical paths.
Official Website: www.jutze.com
Twitter: twitter.com/schult
ROUND 1 SONG: “Kingdom Of Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/jutze_schult-kingdom_of_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Communication Removal”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/jutze_schult-communication_removal.mp3]

LEIGH & HOOVER

Dave & William have been writing songs together for decades, yet have still managed to avoid finding a clever name for themselves. William writes the words; Dave the music… which is good because it doesn’t really work the other way ’round.

Official Website: www.cratchit.org/music
ROUND 1 SONG: “Summer Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/leigh_and_hoover-summer_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “We Do What We Do”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/leigh_and_hoover-we_do_what_we_do.mp3]

COMMON LISP

Common Lisp is the name for the music projects of yours truly, Paul R. Potts, and any collaborators I may be able to drag into participating. I am a middle-aged software engineer with four children, some home recording gear, and too many guitars. I have never written an original song. It’s about time, don’t you think?
Official Website: commonlisp.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/paulrpotts
ROUND 1 SONG: “Polly Loves the Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/common_lisp-polly_loves_the_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “War Criminal”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/common_lisp-war_criminal.mp3]

GLEN RAPHAEL

Glen Raphael is a Manhattan-based software geek, circus performer, and guitarist/singer/songwriter who counts Jonathan Coulton and Paul & Storm as influences. He has recently written songs that featured killer robots, exploding pants, and the Statue of Liberty having a mid-life crisis. Though not all at once. Yet.
Official Website: youtube.com/glenra
ROUND 1 SONG: “Can’t See The Sky”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/glen_raphael-cant_see_the_sky.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Song That Doesn’t Rhyme”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/glen_raphael-song_that_doesnt_rhyme.mp3]

INVERSE T. CLOWN

Inverse T. Clown is a jack of many entertainment trades, songwriting being one of his favorites. He has an album half-ready to be recorded, and is looking forward to garnering the patience to sit down and do it. Even more so, he’s looking forward to Song Fu 6. There is an ongoing series of internet covers of Inverse’s song “Today’s The Day” – and he loves them all – but it would nice to get some steam behind the endless REST of his genius, and Song Fu seems just the place to start it up. He’s funny, he’s clever, his music is synthetic, and he’s champing at the bit to throw everything he’s got to his clamoring fans. Stick around, and see why Salemites everywhere call this musical genius “The Future of Greatness”.
Official Website: toomuchawesome.ning.com/profile/InverseTClown
ROUND 1 SONG: “Sexy In The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/inverse_t_clown-sexy_in_the_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “An Angry Rant”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/inverse_t_clown-an_angry_rant.mp3]

JEFF MacDOUGALL

Coming in at twice Mike Lombardo’s age, Jeff MacDougall is back and ready to throw some Fu! When asked about the competition, he had this to say: “Yeah. That’s right. I’m back. *coughs* *mumbles*” This will be a Song Fu for the ages!
Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com
Twitter: twitter.com/jeffmacdougall
ROUND 1 SONG: “Beautiful Day”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/jeff_macdougall-beautiful_day.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Ken Plume Is To Blame”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/jeff_macdougall-ken_plume_is_to_blame.mp3]

TARYN MILLER

Taryn Miller is an 18-year-old, gluten-intolerant, crazy-hat-wearing guitarist (and other stuff too, but she’s played guitar longest). She hails from Winfield, Kansas – Home of Bluegrass.
Official Website: myspace.com/chellenesuperstar
ROUND 1 SONG: “Crowded And Clouded”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/taryn_miller-crowded_and_clouded.mp3]

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 2 songs, CLICK HERE.

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

Write a song that involves a recipe for something.

This recipe can be for anything – not just food. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds..

Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Sunday, March 7th, 2010.

There will be a Round 3 Listening Party at 8:30pm EST on Monday, March 8th HERE. Voting on Round 3 submissions will commence immediately after the listening party.

If you want some inspiration, here’s a recipe song by Queen Ida…
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/queen_ida-zydeco_taco.mp3]

ROUND 2 VOTING

And now, it’s time for the voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 27th. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again. PLEASE NOTE: This voting system bases voting eligibility on your IP Address. If there are other computers on a home or business network that share the same IP address through a router, it may say you’ve already voted. Unfortunately, there is no way around this, and still be able to prevent ballot stuffing. It’s just the nature of the online voting beast.

ROUND 2 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

[poll id=”25″]

View Results

ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS

[poll id=”24″]

View Results

SHADOW ENTRIES

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)

Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant

ROUND 1 SHADOW SONG: “Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/shadow_song-joe_covenant_lamb-rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SHADOW SONG: “The “Jay Is Awesome” Polka”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/shadow_song-joe_covenant_lamb-the_jay_is_awesome_polka.mp3]

If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

[ad#contestbox]

We here at FRED are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to FRED to be voted on by you, the audience.

At the end of the 3rd Challenge, the two Challengers with the most votes will face off, mano a mano for the title of…

MASTER OF SONG FU

However, there may yet be one final challenge for this newly crowned Master – for they very well might (if the stars align and schedules permit) face off against one of the LEGENDARY MASTERS – artists like Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, Doc Hammer, & The RiffTones. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which may or may not be revealed as your ultimate challenge. Only the wheel of uncertainty can predict (and even then, not).

So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

Write a song that is about (or at least has key to the central narrative) RAIN (the meteorological phenomena). At some point (or throughout) the song, you must utilize an instrument (or vocals) that represent the rain. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds.

And then our Challengers were given their Round 2 Challenge…

ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a song that does not rhyme.

CLARIFICATION: Your song can be in any style, but must not contain any rhymes of 2 dissimilar words within a traditional verse structure. Exact repetition of a phrase or word is permitted. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds..

If you want some inspiration, here’s a number song from The Muppets…
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/rhymingsong.mp3]

You’ll find the Round 1 and Round 2 songs from each of our Challengers below, as well as the results of the Round 1 voting. More importantly, though, you’ll find the voting form for the Round 2 Challenge tunes!

THE CHALLENGERS

MIKE LOMBARDO

Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing geek-pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time playing way too many video games or teaching small children how to bang on pianos. A graduate of Berklee College of Music, Mike is currently finishing up his second album with his piano rock band, the Mike Lombardo Trio.
Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
ROUND 1 SONG: “Sit And Watch The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/mike_lombardo-sit_and_watch_the_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “I Found You”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/mike_lombardo-i_found_you.mp3]

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also – feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!

Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html

ROUND 1 SONG: “In The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/edric_haleen-in_the_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “This Song Doesn’t Rhyme”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/edric_haleen-this_song_doesnt_rhyme.mp3]

GODZ POODLZ

Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!

Official Website: godzpoodlz.bandcamp.com

ROUND 1 SONG: “Rain Is Pouring Down”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/godz_poodlz-rain_is_pouring_down.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Blue Sky Thinking”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/godz_poodlz-blue_sky_thinking.mp3]

SPENCER SOKOL

Spencer is trying to do things. Music is one of those things. It is painfully obvious to him, if not others, that he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. In the past he has been musically inclined with a guitar and occasionally with a piano. He is trying to be musically active once again, but this time he is attempting to do so while on the Internets. Creating music is a large part of his 40×40 list and he thinks this competition seems like “a Super Mega Happy Fun way” to rekindle his musical desires.
Official Website: www.spencersokol.com
Twitter: twitter.com/spencersokol
ROUND 1 SONG: “Reservations”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/spencer_sokol-reservations.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Minus”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/spencer_sokol-minus.mp3]

KYLIE PETTO

My name is Kylie, and I’m your everyday 17-year-old girl with a passion for music. I’ve been writing my own songs since I was ten years old, and nothing is more fun for me than to sit down with my guitar and unwind. Now I thankfully have a violin to add to my arsenal, and I’m armed and ready for my second go at song fu!

Official Website: NONE
Twitter: twitter.com/KyliePetto

ROUND 1 SONG: “Robby”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/kylie_petto-robby.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “All These Knives”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/kylie_petto-all_these_knives.mp3]

CALEB HINES

Caleb is a software engineer who pretends to be a musician on the internet. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. His favorite style of music went out of style at the end of the 18th century, but after discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “omodern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders, baroque flute, ukulele, melodica, pretends to play keyboard and guitar, and most recently, bass. He also uses virtual instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com
Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines

ROUND 1 SONG: “Water Cycle”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/caleb_hines-water_cycle.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliaphobia”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/caleb_hines-hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliaphobia.mp3]

BOFFO YUX DUDES

The Boffo Yux Dudes began in the 80’s and 90’s doing radio comedy, and promptly fell asleep for the next 15 years. Tom Giarrosso and Allan Morgan (Pop Machine) continue the tradition of trying to recreate their lost youth with exceedingly torturous music, instead of spending the money on therapy like normal people having a midlife crisis. Tom blames Mike Lombardo for showing him the Fu way of doing things, and now he has to listen to the voices and write songs instead of doing his actual day job.
Official Website: www.boffoyux.com
Twitter: twitter.com/boffoyuxdudes
ROUND 1 SONG: “Reign of the King”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/boffo_yux_dudes-reign_of_the_king.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Al’s Blues”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/boffo_yux_dudes-als_blues.mp3]

DENISE HUDSON

Denise Hudson is a musician of non-determined hair-color from Austin, Texas who is married to an musicaphile Australian. She hopes that she typed up her bio correctly (alas, she cannot spell!); and additionally hopes she amuses you, but she is done apologizing now. If she happens to make you slightly uncomfortable, she supposes there’s nothing to be done for it…
Official Website: denisehudson.bandcamp.com

Twitter: twitter.com/RangerDenni
ROUND 1 SONG: “Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/denise_hudson-rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Something Very Horrible (Bluebeard’s Lament)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/denise_hudson-something_very_horrible_bluebeards_lament.mp3]

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. I write and record my songs solo, in my little make-shift studio, and when I play live, I often get some help from friends. Some of my music is funny, and some isn’t. More often than not, the humour is unintentional. My Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back again, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been described as a “Cajun Buddy Holly” and an “Optimistic Elvis Costello”. It’s been said that I sound like “That guy from the Barenaked Ladies” and a “Nasaly Bob Dylan”. One of these days, I hope to have a description that is accurate.
Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
ROUND 1 SONG: “Forget About The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/buckethat_bobby_matheson-forget_about_the_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “I’m Fine (Could Be Worse)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/buckethat_bobby_matheson-im_fine_could_be_worse.mp3]

IAN “TWO SHADES” JOHNSON

Ian is a guitarist/singer/pianist/other-stuff-ist. He was a participant of Song-Fu #5, and is a member of Too Much Awesome. His songs have been described (by himself) as “probably not as funny as I think they are.”
Official Website: ianjohnson.bandcamp.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Downpour”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/ian_two_shades_johnson-downpour.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Two Words”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/ian_two_shades_johnson-two_words.mp3]

GORBZILLA

Gorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.
Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Freezing Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/gorbzilla-freezing_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “A Song About This Song”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/gorbzilla-a_song_about_this_song.mp3]

GOVERNING DYNAMICS

Governing Dynamics is the name of Travis Norris’s eternal sideproject, where all the stuff written by him goes when his current band (whatever it may be) refuses to play it. The music has been favorably compared to such bands as Eels, Radiohead, The White Stripes, and other bands that cool people like. It has been unfavorably compared to the tactics used by the FBI against the Branch Dividians at Waco. If he has to describe his music by genre (and refer to himself in third person) Travis calls it “alternative/shoegazer with a liberal dose of Midwestern rock”.
Official Website: governingdynamics.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/travisnorris
ROUND 1 SONG: “Rain in Chicago”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/governing_dynamics-rain_in_chicago.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Restrictions”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/governing_dynamics-restrictions.mp3]

ZER0GUY

Two brothers from the midwest return to Song Fu with their brand of eclectic musical ideas. They don’t like to stick to a genre, and sometimes they suffer from swarms of bees.
Official Website: www.myspace.com/zer0guyband
ROUND 1 SONG: “Thundercade”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/zer0guy-thundercade.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Guitar Tonite”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/zer0guy-guitar_tonite.mp3]

JUTZE SCHULT

Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to live in a dream world where there has been no Grunge and where he is a talented singer. Sometimes his little folky pop songs find their way into the real world. Here they suffer from his hoarse voice and the do-it-yourself home recording production, struggling to appeal off and on beaten musical paths.
Official Website: www.jutze.com
Twitter: twitter.com/schult
ROUND 1 SONG: “Kingdom Of Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/jutze_schult-kingdom_of_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Communication Removal”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/jutze_schult-communication_removal.mp3]

LEIGH & HOOVER

Dave & William have been writing songs together for decades, yet have still managed to avoid finding a clever name for themselves. William writes the words; Dave the music… which is good because it doesn’t really work the other way ’round.

Official Website: www.cratchit.org/music
ROUND 1 SONG: “Summer Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/leigh_and_hoover-summer_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “We Do What We Do”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/leigh_and_hoover-we_do_what_we_do.mp3]

COMMON LISP

Common Lisp is the name for the music projects of yours truly, Paul R. Potts, and any collaborators I may be able to drag into participating. I am a middle-aged software engineer with four children, some home recording gear, and too many guitars. I have never written an original song. It’s about time, don’t you think?
Official Website: commonlisp.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/paulrpotts
ROUND 1 SONG: “Polly Loves the Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/common_lisp-polly_loves_the_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “War Criminal”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/common_lisp-war_criminal.mp3]

GLEN RAPHAEL

Glen Raphael is a Manhattan-based software geek, circus performer, and guitarist/singer/songwriter who counts Jonathan Coulton and Paul & Storm as influences. He has recently written songs that featured killer robots, exploding pants, and the Statue of Liberty having a mid-life crisis. Though not all at once. Yet.
Official Website: youtube.com/glenra
ROUND 1 SONG: “Can’t See The Sky”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/glen_raphael-cant_see_the_sky.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Song That Doesn’t Rhyme”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/glen_raphael-song_that_doesnt_rhyme.mp3]

INVERSE T. CLOWN

Inverse T. Clown is a jack of many entertainment trades, songwriting being one of his favorites. He has an album half-ready to be recorded, and is looking forward to garnering the patience to sit down and do it. Even more so, he’s looking forward to Song Fu 6. There is an ongoing series of internet covers of Inverse’s song “Today’s The Day” – and he loves them all – but it would nice to get some steam behind the endless REST of his genius, and Song Fu seems just the place to start it up. He’s funny, he’s clever, his music is synthetic, and he’s champing at the bit to throw everything he’s got to his clamoring fans. Stick around, and see why Salemites everywhere call this musical genius “The Future of Greatness”.
Official Website: toomuchawesome.ning.com/profile/InverseTClown
ROUND 1 SONG: “Sexy In The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/inverse_t_clown-sexy_in_the_rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “An Angry Rant”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/inverse_t_clown-an_angry_rant.mp3]

JEFF MacDOUGALL

Coming in at twice Mike Lombardo’s age, Jeff MacDougall is back and ready to throw some Fu! When asked about the competition, he had this to say: “Yeah. That’s right. I’m back. *coughs* *mumbles*” This will be a Song Fu for the ages!
Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com
Twitter: twitter.com/jeffmacdougall
ROUND 1 SONG: “Beautiful Day”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/jeff_macdougall-beautiful_day.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Ken Plume Is To Blame”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/jeff_macdougall-ken_plume_is_to_blame.mp3]

TARYN MILLER

Taryn Miller is an 18-year-old, gluten-intolerant, crazy-hat-wearing guitarist (and other stuff too, but she’s played guitar longest). She hails from Winfield, Kansas – Home of Bluegrass.
Official Website: myspace.com/chellenesuperstar
ROUND 1 SONG: “Crowded And Clouded”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/taryn_miller-crowded_and_clouded.mp3]

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 2 songs, CLICK HERE.

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

ROUND 2 VOTING

And now, it’s time for the voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 27th, and THE NEXT CHALLENGE WILL BE REVEALED ON FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 26th. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again. PLEASE NOTE: This voting system bases voting eligibility on your IP Address. If there are other computers on a home or business network that share the same IP address through a router, it may say you’ve already voted. Unfortunately, there is no way around this, and still be able to prevent ballot stuffing. It’s just the nature of the online voting beast.

ROUND 2 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

[poll id=”25″]

View Results

ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS

[poll id=”24″]

View Results

SHADOW ENTRIES

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)

Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant

ROUND 1 SHADOW SONG: “Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/shadow_song-joe_covenant_lamb-rain.mp3]
ROUND 2 SHADOW SONG: “The “Jay Is Awesome” Polka”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song2/shadow_song-joe_covenant_lamb-the_jay_is_awesome_polka.mp3]

If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

[ad#contestbox]

We here at FRED are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to FRED to be voted on by you, the audience.

At the end of the 3rd Challenge, the two Challengers with the most votes will face off, mano a mano for the title of…

MASTER OF SONG FU

However, there may yet be one final challenge for this newly crowned Master – for they very well might (if the stars align and schedules permit) face off against one of the LEGENDARY MASTERS – artists like Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, Doc Hammer, & The RiffTones. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which may or may not be revealed as your ultimate challenge. Only the wheel of uncertainty can predict (and even then, not).

So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

Write a song that is about (or at least has key to the central narrative) RAIN (the meteorological phenomena). At some point (or throughout) the song, you must utilize an instrument (or vocals) that represent the rain. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds.

You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Challengers below, as well as the results of the Round 1 voting. More importantly, though, you’ll also discover what the Round 2 Challenge is!

THE CHALLENGERS

MIKE LOMBARDO

Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing geek-pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time playing way too many video games or teaching small children how to bang on pianos. A graduate of Berklee College of Music, Mike is currently finishing up his second album with his piano rock band, the Mike Lombardo Trio.
Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
ROUND 1 SONG: “Sit And Watch The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/mike_lombardo-sit_and_watch_the_rain.mp3]

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also – feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!

Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html

ROUND 1 SONG: “In The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/edric_haleen-in_the_rain.mp3]

GODZ POODLZ

Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!

Official Website: godzpoodlz.bandcamp.com

ROUND 1 SONG: “Rain Is Pouring Down”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/godz_poodlz-rain_is_pouring_down.mp3]

SPENCER SOKOL

Spencer is trying to do things. Music is one of those things. It is painfully obvious to him, if not others, that he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. In the past he has been musically inclined with a guitar and occasionally with a piano. He is trying to be musically active once again, but this time he is attempting to do so while on the Internets. Creating music is a large part of his 40×40 list and he thinks this competition seems like “a Super Mega Happy Fun way” to rekindle his musical desires.
Official Website: www.spencersokol.com
Twitter: twitter.com/spencersokol
ROUND 1 SONG: “Reservations”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/spencer_sokol-reservations.mp3]

KYLIE PETTO

My name is Kylie, and I’m your everyday 17-year-old girl with a passion for music. I’ve been writing my own songs since I was ten years old, and nothing is more fun for me than to sit down with my guitar and unwind. Now I thankfully have a violin to add to my arsenal, and I’m armed and ready for my second go at song fu!

Official Website: NONE
Twitter: twitter.com/KyliePetto

ROUND 1 SONG: “Robby”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/kylie_petto-robby.mp3]

CALEB HINES

Caleb is a software engineer who pretends to be a musician on the internet. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. His favorite style of music went out of style at the end of the 18th century, but after discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “omodern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders, baroque flute, ukulele, melodica, pretends to play keyboard and guitar, and most recently, bass. He also uses virtual instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com
Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines

ROUND 1 SONG: “Water Cycle”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/caleb_hines-water_cycle.mp3]

BOFFO YUX DUDES

The Boffo Yux Dudes began in the 80’s and 90’s doing radio comedy, and promptly fell asleep for the next 15 years. Tom Giarrosso and Allan Morgan (Pop Machine) continue the tradition of trying to recreate their lost youth with exceedingly torturous music, instead of spending the money on therapy like normal people having a midlife crisis. Tom blames Mike Lombardo for showing him the Fu way of doing things, and now he has to listen to the voices and write songs instead of doing his actual day job.
Official Website: www.boffoyux.com
Twitter: twitter.com/boffoyuxdudes
ROUND 1 SONG: “Reign of the King”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/boffo_yux_dudes-reign_of_the_king.mp3]

DENISE HUDSON

Denise Hudson is a musician of non-determined hair-color from Austin, Texas who is married to an musicaphile Australian. She hopes that she typed up her bio correctly (alas, she cannot spell!); and additionally hopes she amuses you, but she is done apologizing now. If she happens to make you slightly uncomfortable, she supposes there’s nothing to be done for it…
Official Website: denisehudson.bandcamp.com

Twitter: twitter.com/RangerDenni
ROUND 1 SONG: “Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/denise_hudson-rain.mp3]

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. I write and record my songs solo, in my little make-shift studio, and when I play live, I often get some help from friends. Some of my music is funny, and some isn’t. More often than not, the humour is unintentional. My Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back again, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been described as a “Cajun Buddy Holly” and an “Optimistic Elvis Costello”. It’s been said that I sound like “That guy from the Barenaked Ladies” and a “Nasaly Bob Dylan”. One of these days, I hope to have a description that is accurate.
Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
ROUND 1 SONG: “Forget About The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/buckethat_bobby_matheson-forget_about_the_rain.mp3]

IAN “TWO SHADES” JOHNSON

Ian is a guitarist/singer/pianist/other-stuff-ist. He was a participant of Song-Fu #5, and is a member of Too Much Awesome. His songs have been described (by himself) as “probably not as funny as I think they are.”
Official Website: ianjohnson.bandcamp.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Downpour”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/ian_two_shades_johnson-downpour.mp3]

GORBZILLA

Gorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.
Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Freezing Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/gorbzilla-freezing_rain.mp3]

GOVERNING DYNAMICS

Governing Dynamics is the name of Travis Norris’s eternal sideproject, where all the stuff written by him goes when his current band (whatever it may be) refuses to play it. The music has been favorably compared to such bands as Eels, Radiohead, The White Stripes, and other bands that cool people like. It has been unfavorably compared to the tactics used by the FBI against the Branch Dividians at Waco. If he has to describe his music by genre (and refer to himself in third person) Travis calls it “alternative/shoegazer with a liberal dose of Midwestern rock”.
Official Website: governingdynamics.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/travisnorris
ROUND 1 SONG: “Rain in Chicago”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/governing_dynamics-rain_in_chicago.mp3]

ZER0GUY

Two brothers from the midwest return to Song Fu with their brand of eclectic musical ideas. They don’t like to stick to a genre, and sometimes they suffer from swarms of bees.
Official Website: www.myspace.com/zer0guyband
ROUND 1 SONG: “Thundercade”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/zer0guy-thundercade.mp3]

JUTZE SCHULT

Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to live in a dream world where there has been no Grunge and where he is a talented singer. Sometimes his little folky pop songs find their way into the real world. Here they suffer from his hoarse voice and the do-it-yourself home recording production, struggling to appeal off and on beaten musical paths.
Official Website: www.jutze.com
Twitter: twitter.com/schult
ROUND 1 SONG: “Kingdom Of Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/jutze_schult-kingdom_of_rain.mp3]

LEIGH & HOOVER

Dave & William have been writing songs together for decades, yet have still managed to avoid finding a clever name for themselves. William writes the words; Dave the music… which is good because it doesn’t really work the other way ’round.
Official Website: www.cratchit.org/music
ROUND 1 SONG: “Summer Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/leigh_and_hoover-summer_rain.mp3]

COMMON LISP

Common Lisp is the name for the music projects of yours truly, Paul R. Potts, and any collaborators I may be able to drag into participating. I am a middle-aged software engineer with four children, some home recording gear, and too many guitars. I have never written an original song. It’s about time, don’t you think?
Official Website: commonlisp.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/paulrpotts
ROUND 1 SONG: “Polly Loves the Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/common_lisp-polly_loves_the_rain.mp3]

GLEN RAPHAEL

Glen Raphael is a Manhattan-based software geek, circus performer, and guitarist/singer/songwriter who counts Jonathan Coulton and Paul & Storm as influences. He has recently written songs that featured killer robots, exploding pants, and the Statue of Liberty having a mid-life crisis. Though not all at once. Yet.
Official Website: youtube.com/glenra
ROUND 1 SONG: “Can’t See The Sky”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/glen_raphael-cant_see_the_sky.mp3]

INVERSE T. CLOWN

Inverse T. Clown is a jack of many entertainment trades, songwriting being one of his favorites. He has an album half-ready to be recorded, and is looking forward to garnering the patience to sit down and do it. Even more so, he’s looking forward to Song Fu 6. There is an ongoing series of internet covers of Inverse’s song “Today’s The Day” – and he loves them all – but it would nice to get some steam behind the endless REST of his genius, and Song Fu seems just the place to start it up. He’s funny, he’s clever, his music is synthetic, and he’s champing at the bit to throw everything he’s got to his clamoring fans. Stick around, and see why Salemites everywhere call this musical genius “The Future of Greatness”.
Official Website: toomuchawesome.ning.com/profile/InverseTClown
ROUND 1 SONG: “Sexy In The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/inverse_t_clown-sexy_in_the_rain.mp3]

JEFF MacDOUGALL

Coming in at twice Mike Lombardo’s age, Jeff MacDougall is back and ready to throw some Fu! When asked about the competition, he had this to say: “Yeah. That’s right. I’m back. *coughs* *mumbles*” This will be a Song Fu for the ages!
Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com
Twitter: twitter.com/jeffmacdougall
ROUND 1 SONG: “Beautiful Day”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/jeff_macdougall-beautiful_day.mp3]

TARYN MILLER

Taryn Miller is an 18-year-old, gluten-intolerant, crazy-hat-wearing guitarist (and other stuff too, but she’s played guitar longest). She hails from Winfield, Kansas – Home of Bluegrass.
Official Website: myspace.com/chellenesuperstar
ROUND 1 SONG: “Crowded And Clouded”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/taryn_miller-crowded_and_clouded.mp3]

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a song that does not rhyme.

CLARIFICATION: Your song can be in any style, but must not contain any rhymes of 2 dissimilar words within a traditional verse structure. Exact repetition of a phrase or word is permitted. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds..

Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 2:00pm EST on Monday, February 22nd, 2010.

There will be a Round 2 Listening Party at 8:30pm EST on Monday, February 22nd HERE. Voting on Round 2 submissions will commence immediately after the listening party.

If you want some inspiration, here’s a number song from The Muppets…
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/rhymingsong.mp3]

ROUND 1 VOTING RESULTS

[poll id=”24″]

View Results

SHADOW ENTRIES

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)

Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant

ROUND 1 SHADOW SONG: “Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/shadow_song-joe_covenant_lamb-rain.mp3]

If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

[ad#contestbox]

We here at FRED are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to FRED to be voted on by you, the audience.

At the end of the 3rd Challenge, the two Challengers with the most votes will face off, mano a mano for the title of…

MASTER OF SONG FU

However, there may yet be one final challenge for this newly crowned Master – for they very well might (if the stars align and schedules permit) face off against one of the LEGENDARY MASTERS – artists like Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, Doc Hammer, & The RiffTones. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which may or may not be revealed as your ultimate challenge. Only the wheel of uncertainty can predict (and even then, not).

So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

Write a song that is about (or at least has key to the central narrative) RAIN (the meteorological phenomena). At some point (or throughout) the song, you must utilize an instrument (or vocals) that represent the rain. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds.

You’ll find each Challenger’s songs below, with the voting form at the bottom. Shadow entries can be found beneath the voting form.

THE CHALLENGERS

MIKE LOMBARDO

Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing geek-pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time playing way too many video games or teaching small children how to bang on pianos. A graduate of Berklee College of Music, Mike is currently finishing up his second album with his piano rock band, the Mike Lombardo Trio.
Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
ROUND 1 SONG: “Sit And Watch The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/mike_lombardo-sit_and_watch_the_rain.mp3]

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also – feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!

Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html

ROUND 1 SONG: “In The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/edric_haleen-in_the_rain.mp3]

GODZ POODLZ

Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!

Official Website: godzpoodlz.bandcamp.com

ROUND 1 SONG: “Rain Is Pouring Down”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/godz_poodlz-rain_is_pouring_down.mp3]

SPENCER SOKOL

Spencer is trying to do things. Music is one of those things. It is painfully obvious to him, if not others, that he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. In the past he has been musically inclined with a guitar and occasionally with a piano. He is trying to be musically active once again, but this time he is attempting to do so while on the Internets. Creating music is a large part of his 40×40 list and he thinks this competition seems like “a Super Mega Happy Fun way” to rekindle his musical desires.
Official Website: www.spencersokol.com
Twitter: twitter.com/spencersokol
ROUND 1 SONG: “Reservations”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/spencer_sokol-reservations.mp3]

KYLIE PETTO

My name is Kylie, and I’m your everyday 17-year-old girl with a passion for music. I’ve been writing my own songs since I was ten years old, and nothing is more fun for me than to sit down with my guitar and unwind. Now I thankfully have a violin to add to my arsenal, and I’m armed and ready for my second go at song fu!

Official Website: NONE
Twitter: twitter.com/KyliePetto

ROUND 1 SONG: “Robby”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/kylie_petto-robby.mp3]

CALEB HINES

Caleb is a software engineer who pretends to be a musician on the internet. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. His favorite style of music went out of style at the end of the 18th century, but after discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “omodern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders, baroque flute, ukulele, melodica, pretends to play keyboard and guitar, and most recently, bass. He also uses virtual instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com
Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines

ROUND 1 SONG: “Water Cycle”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/caleb_hines-water_cycle.mp3]

BOFFO YUX DUDES

The Boffo Yux Dudes began in the 80’s and 90’s doing radio comedy, and promptly fell asleep for the next 15 years. Tom Giarrosso and Allan Morgan (Pop Machine) continue the tradition of trying to recreate their lost youth with exceedingly torturous music, instead of spending the money on therapy like normal people having a midlife crisis. Tom blames Mike Lombardo for showing him the Fu way of doing things, and now he has to listen to the voices and write songs instead of doing his actual day job.
Official Website: www.boffoyux.com
Twitter: twitter.com/boffoyuxdudes
ROUND 1 SONG: “Reign of the King”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/boffo_yux_dudes-reign_of_the_king.mp3]

DENISE HUDSON

Denise Hudson is a musician of non-determined hair-color from Austin, Texas who is married to an musicaphile Australian. She hopes that she typed up her bio correctly (alas, she cannot spell!); and additionally hopes she amuses you, but she is done apologizing now. If she happens to make you slightly uncomfortable, she supposes there’s nothing to be done for it…
Official Website: denisehudson.bandcamp.com

Twitter: twitter.com/RangerDenni
ROUND 1 SONG: “Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/denise_hudson-rain.mp3]

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. I write and record my songs solo, in my little make-shift studio, and when I play live, I often get some help from friends. Some of my music is funny, and some isn’t. More often than not, the humour is unintentional. My Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back again, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been described as a “Cajun Buddy Holly” and an “Optimistic Elvis Costello”. It’s been said that I sound like “That guy from the Barenaked Ladies” and a “Nasaly Bob Dylan”. One of these days, I hope to have a description that is accurate.
Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
ROUND 1 SONG: “Forget About The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/buckethat_bobby_matheson-forget_about_the_rain.mp3]

IAN “TWO SHADES” JOHNSON

Ian is a guitarist/singer/pianist/other-stuff-ist. He was a participant of Song-Fu #5, and is a member of Too Much Awesome. His songs have been described (by himself) as “probably not as funny as I think they are.”
Official Website: ianjohnson.bandcamp.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Downpour”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/ian_two_shades_johnson-downpour.mp3]

GORBZILLA

Gorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.
Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “Freezing Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/gorbzilla-freezing_rain.mp3]

GOVERNING DYNAMICS

Governing Dynamics is the name of Travis Norris’s eternal sideproject, where all the stuff written by him goes when his current band (whatever it may be) refuses to play it. The music has been favorably compared to such bands as Eels, Radiohead, The White Stripes, and other bands that cool people like. It has been unfavorably compared to the tactics used by the FBI against the Branch Dividians at Waco. If he has to describe his music by genre (and refer to himself in third person) Travis calls it “alternative/shoegazer with a liberal dose of Midwestern rock”.
Official Website: governingdynamics.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/travisnorris
ROUND 1 SONG: “Rain in Chicago”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/governing_dynamics-rain_in_chicago.mp3]

ZER0GUY

Two brothers from the midwest return to Song Fu with their brand of eclectic musical ideas. They don’t like to stick to a genre, and sometimes they suffer from swarms of bees.
Official Website: www.myspace.com/zer0guyband
ROUND 1 SONG: “Thundercade”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/zer0guy-thundercade.mp3]

JUTZE SCHULT

Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to live in a dream world where there has been no Grunge and where he is a talented singer. Sometimes his little folky pop songs find their way into the real world. Here they suffer from his hoarse voice and the do-it-yourself home recording production, struggling to appeal off and on beaten musical paths.
Official Website: www.jutze.com
Twitter: twitter.com/schult
ROUND 1 SONG: “Kingdom Of Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/jutze_schult-kingdom_of_rain.mp3]

LEIGH & HOOVER

Dave & William have been writing songs together for decades, yet have still managed to avoid finding a clever name for themselves. William writes the words; Dave the music… which is good because it doesn’t really work the other way ’round.
Official Website: www.cratchit.org/music
ROUND 1 SONG: “Summer Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/leigh_and_hoover-summer_rain.mp3]

COMMON LISP

Common Lisp is the name for the music projects of yours truly, Paul R. Potts, and any collaborators I may be able to drag into participating. I am a middle-aged software engineer with four children, some home recording gear, and too many guitars. I have never written an original song. It’s about time, don’t you think?
Official Website: commonlisp.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/paulrpotts
ROUND 1 SONG: “Polly Loves the Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/common_lisp-polly_loves_the_rain.mp3]

GLEN RAPHAEL

Glen Raphael is a Manhattan-based software geek, circus performer, and guitarist/singer/songwriter who counts Jonathan Coulton and Paul & Storm as influences. He has recently written songs that featured killer robots, exploding pants, and the Statue of Liberty having a mid-life crisis. Though not all at once. Yet.
Official Website: youtube.com/glenra
ROUND 1 SONG: “Can’t See The Sky”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/glen_raphael-cant_see_the_sky.mp3]

INVERSE T. CLOWN

Inverse T. Clown is a jack of many entertainment trades, songwriting being one of his favorites. He has an album half-ready to be recorded, and is looking forward to garnering the patience to sit down and do it. Even more so, he’s looking forward to Song Fu 6. There is an ongoing series of internet covers of Inverse’s song “Today’s The Day” – and he loves them all – but it would nice to get some steam behind the endless REST of his genius, and Song Fu seems just the place to start it up. He’s funny, he’s clever, his music is synthetic, and he’s champing at the bit to throw everything he’s got to his clamoring fans. Stick around, and see why Salemites everywhere call this musical genius “The Future of Greatness”.
Official Website: toomuchawesome.ning.com/profile/InverseTClown
ROUND 1 SONG: “Sexy In The Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/inverse_t_clown-sexy_in_the_rain.mp3]

JEFF MacDOUGALL

Coming in at twice Mike Lombardo’s age, Jeff MacDougall is back and ready to throw some Fu! When asked about the competition, he had this to say: “Yeah. That’s right. I’m back. *coughs* *mumbles*” This will be a Song Fu for the ages!
Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com
Twitter: twitter.com/jeffmacdougall
ROUND 1 SONG: “Beautiful Day”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/jeff_macdougall-beautiful_day.mp3]

TARYN MILLER

Taryn Miller is an 18-year-old, gluten-intolerant, crazy-hat-wearing guitarist (and other stuff too, but she’s played guitar longest). She hails from Winfield, Kansas – Home of Bluegrass.
Official Website: myspace.com/chellenesuperstar
ROUND 1 SONG: “Crowded And Clouded”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/taryn_miller-crowded_and_clouded.mp3]

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

ROUND 1 VOTING

And now, it’s time for the voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 13th, and THE NEXT CHALLENGE WILL BE REVEALED ON MONDAY, FEBRUARY 15th. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again. PLEASE NOTE: This voting system bases voting eligibility on your IP Address. If there are other computers on a home or business network that share the same IP address through a router, it may say you’ve already voted. Unfortunately, there is no way around this, and still be able to prevent ballot stuffing. It’s just the nature of the online voting beast.

ROUND 1 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

[poll id=”24″]

View Results

SHADOW ENTRIES

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)

Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant

ROUND 1 SHADOW SONG: “Rain”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/06song1/shadow_song-joe_covenant_lamb-rain.mp3]

If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

[ad#contestbox]

We here at FRED are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to FRED to be voted on by you, the audience.

At the end of the 3rd Challenge, the two Challengers with the most votes will face off, mano a mano for the title of…

MASTER OF SONG FU

However, there may yet be one final challenge for this newly crowned Master – for they very well might (if the stars align and schedules permit) face off against one of the LEGENDARY MASTERS – artists like Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, Doc Hammer, & The RiffTones. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which may or may not be revealed as your ultimate challenge. Only the wheel of uncertainty can predict (and even then, not).

In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here’s the list of challengers:

THE CHALLENGERS

MIKE LOMBARDO

Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing geek-pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. He has been known to write songs about just about anything, including rocks and SAW 4. When not banging on a piano, Mike spends most of his time playing way too many video games or teaching small children how to bang on pianos. A graduate of Berklee College of Music, Mike is currently finishing up his second album with his piano rock band, the Mike Lombardo Trio.
Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also – feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!

Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html

GODZ POODLZ

Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!

Official Website: godzpoodlz.bandcamp.com

SPENCER SOKOL

Spencer is trying to do things. Music is one of those things. It is painfully obvious to him, if not others, that he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. In the past he has been musically inclined with a guitar and occasionally with a piano. He is trying to be musically active once again, but this time he is attempting to do so while on the Internets. Creating music is a large part of his 40×40 list and he thinks this competition seems like “a Super Mega Happy Fun way” to rekindle his musical desires.
Official Website: www.spencersokol.com
Twitter: twitter.com/spencersokol

KYLIE PETTO

My name is Kylie, and I’m your everyday 17-year-old girl with a passion for music. I’ve been writing my own songs since I was ten years old, and nothing is more fun for me than to sit down with my guitar and unwind. Now I thankfully have a violin to add to my arsenal, and I’m armed and ready for my second go at song fu!

Official Website: NONE
Twitter: twitter.com/KyliePetto

CALEB HINES

Caleb is a software engineer who pretends to be a musician on the internet. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. His favorite style of music went out of style at the end of the 18th century, but after discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “omodern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders, baroque flute, ukulele, melodica, pretends to play keyboard and guitar, and most recently, bass. He also uses virtual instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com
Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines

BOFFO YUX DUDES

The Boffo Yux Dudes began in the 80’s and 90’s doing radio comedy, and promptly fell asleep for the next 15 years. Tom Giarrosso and Allan Morgan (Pop Machine) continue the tradition of trying to recreate their lost youth with exceedingly torturous music, instead of spending the money on therapy like normal people having a midlife crisis. Tom blames Mike Lombardo for showing him the Fu way of doing things, and now he has to listen to the voices and write songs instead of doing his actual day job.
Official Website: www.boffoyux.com
Twitter: twitter.com/boffoyuxdudes

DENISE HUDSON

Denise Hudson is a musician of non-determined hair-color from Austin, Texas who is married to an musicaphile Australian. She hopes that she typed up her bio correctly (alas, she cannot spell!); and additionally hopes she amuses you, but she is done apologizing now. If she happens to make you slightly uncomfortable, she supposes there’s nothing to be done for it…
Official Website: denisehudson.bandcamp.com

Twitter: twitter.com/RangerDenni

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. I write and record my songs solo, in my little make-shift studio, and when I play live, I often get some help from friends. Some of my music is funny, and some isn’t. More often than not, the humour is unintentional. My Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back again, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been described as a “Cajun Buddy Holly” and an “Optimistic Elvis Costello”. It’s been said that I sound like “That guy from the Barenaked Ladies” and a “Nasaly Bob Dylan”. One of these days, I hope to have a description that is accurate.
Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby

IAN “TWO SHADES” JOHNSON

Ian is a guitarist/singer/pianist/other-stuff-ist. He was a participant of Song-Fu #5, and is a member of Too Much Awesome. His songs have been described (by himself) as “probably not as funny as I think they are.”
Official Website: ianjohnson.bandcamp.com

GORBZILLA

Gorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.
Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com

GOVERNING DYNAMICS

Governing Dynamics is the name of Travis Norris’s eternal sideproject, where all the stuff written by him goes when his current band (whatever it may be) refuses to play it. The music has been favorably compared to such bands as Eels, Radiohead, The White Stripes, and other bands that cool people like. It has been unfavorably compared to the tactics used by the FBI against the Branch Dividians at Waco. If he has to describe his music by genre (and refer to himself in third person) Travis calls it “alternative/shoegazer with a liberal dose of Midwestern rock”.
Official Website: governingdynamics.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/travisnorris

ZER0GUY

Two brothers from the midwest return to Song Fu with their brand of eclectic musical ideas. They don’t like to stick to a genre, and sometimes they suffer from swarms of bees.
Official Website: www.myspace.com/zer0guyband

JUTZE SCHULT

Johannes “Jutze” Schult (from Germany) likes to live in a dream world where there has been no Grunge and where he is a talented singer. Sometimes his little folky pop songs find their way into the real world. Here they suffer from his hoarse voice and the do-it-yourself home recording production, struggling to appeal off and on beaten musical paths.
Official Website: www.jutze.com
Twitter: twitter.com/schult

DAVE LEIGH & WILLIAM HOOVER

Dave & William have been writing songs together for decades, yet have still managed to avoid finding a clever name for themselves. William writes the words; Dave the music… which is good because it doesn’t really work the other way ’round.
Official Website: www.cratchit.org/music

COMMON LISP

Common Lisp is the name for the music projects of yours truly, Paul R. Potts, and any collaborators I may be able to drag into participating. I am a middle-aged software engineer with four children, some home recording gear, and too many guitars. I have never written an original song. It’s about time, don’t you think?
Official Website: commonlisp.bandcamp.com

GLEN RAPHAEL

Glen Raphael is a Manhattan-based software geek, circus performer, and guitarist/singer/songwriter who counts Jonathan Coulton and Paul & Storm as influences. He has recently written songs that featured killer robots, exploding pants, and the Statue of Liberty having a mid-life crisis. Though not all at once. Yet.
Official Website: youtube.com/glenra

INVERSE T. CLOWN

Inverse T. Clown is a jack of many entertainment trades, songwriting being one of his favorites. He has an album half-ready to be recorded, and is looking forward to garnering the patience to sit down and do it. Even more so, he’s looking forward to Song Fu 6. There is an ongoing series of internet covers of Inverse’s song “Today’s The Day” – and he loves them all – but it would nice to get some steam behind the endless REST of his genius, and Song Fu seems just the place to start it up. He’s funny, he’s clever, his music is synthetic, and he’s champing at the bit to throw everything he’s got to his clamoring fans. Stick around, and see why Salemites everywhere call this musical genius “The Future of Greatness”.
Official Website: toomuchawesome.ning.com/profile/InverseTClown

JEFF MacDOUGALL

Coming in at twice Mike Lombardo’s age, Jeff MacDougall is back and ready to throw some Fu! When asked about the competition, he had this to say: “Yeah. That’s right. I’m back. *coughs* *mumbles*” This will be a Song Fu for the ages!
Official Website: www.jeffmacdougall.com
Twitter: twitter.com/jeffmacdougall

TARYN MILLER

Taryn Miller is an 18-year-old, gluten-intolerant, crazy-hat-wearing guitarist (and other stuff too, but she’s played guitar longest). She hails from Winfield, Kansas – Home of Bluegrass.
Official Website: myspace.com/chellenesuperstar

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

Write a song that is about (or at least has key to the central narrative) RAIN (the meteorological phenomena). At some point (or throughout) the song, you must utilize an instrument (or vocals) that represent the rain. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds. Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to mail @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Sunday, February 7th, 2010.

Voting on Round 1 submissions will commence on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010.

If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

[ad#contestbox]

We here at FRED are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

From now until 11:59pm EST on SATURDAY, JANUARY 30th, we’ll be accepting sign-ups from any and all musicians across this here internet. We have 20 slots open – All you have to do is be one of the first 20 to apply via the form below, and you’re in. THE LIST OF CHALLENGERS AND THE FIRST TASK WILL BE ANNOUNCED ON MONDAY, FEBRUARY 1st, 2010.

Once those participants have been announced, the showdown will commence.

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to FRED to be voted on by you, the audience.

At the end of the 3rd Challenge, the two Challengers with the most votes will face off, mano a mano for the title of…

MASTER OF SONG FU

However, there may yet be one final challenge for this newly crowned Master – for they very well might (if the stars align and schedules permit) face off against one of the LEGENDARY MASTERS – artists like Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, Doc Hammer, & The RiffTones. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which may or may not be revealed as your ultimate challenge. Only the wheel of uncertainty can predict (and even then, not).

And if you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Remember, you must be able to realize a song both lyrically and musically. This competition is open to both singer/songwriters and bands – but since space is limited, only enter if you truly accept the challenge. As stated above, we’ll be accepting the first 20 valid applications we receive.
[ad#contestbox]

Are you ready to bring your Fu? If so, fill out the form below:

SIGN-UP FOR THIS ROUND HAS CLOSED. CHALLENGERS WILL BE NOTIFIED VIA E-MAIL BY THURSDAY, JANUARY 28th, & THE FIRST CHALLENGE WILL BE REVEALED ON MONDAY, FEBRUARY 1st. PLEASE NOTE: EVEN IF YOU DID NOT MAKE IT IN AS A FORMAL CHALLENGER FOR THIS EDITION, SHADOW ENTRIES ARE ALWAYS WELCOME.

Note: Competitors will be notified via e-mail of their selection.
If you have any problems submitting your entry via the form above, you can also e-mail the entry information to mail @ asitecalledfred.com (taking out the spaces, naturally) with the subject line “Song Fu”.

We here at FRED are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

Oh, and what do we call this competition?

MASTERS OF SONG FU

Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as your ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be your final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all of the Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

So what was the 1st Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

This is a bit of a fun one. Your first task is based upon the work of Friend-of-the-Stop John Hodgman – specifically, the “700 MOLE MEN” listed in his second book, More Information Than You Require. You’ll find the full list of “700 Mole Men” – and their descriptions – HERE. Your task is to choose one (1) and write a song about that Mole Man, based on the description provided by Hodgman. The title of your song will be the name of the Mole Man you’ve chosen, and its corresponding number on the list. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Challengers below, as well as the results of the Round 1 voting (As some competitors did not make their Round 2 submission in time, you’ll find those missing songs in the ROUND 1 ZIP FILE, which you can download below).

So what was the 2nd Challenge?

ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a song about a number.

That’s right – a song about a number. It can be any number, and it can be describing or representing anything. The number you choose will be the title of your song. The song can be in any style you’d like. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

If you want some inspiration, here’s a number song from Harry Nilsson…
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/harry_nilsson-one.mp3]

So what was the 3rd Challenge?

ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

Write a winter holiday song that is not about the holidays.

Your song can reference the holidays, but must not be explicitly about them. However, it should incorporate instruments and/or a style that evokes the holidays. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds.

If you want some inspiration, here’s a song from Jona Lewie, “Stop The Cavalry”…
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/jona_lewie-stop_the-cavalry.mp3]

And now, the big announcement. Due to holiday scheduling issues, the Master for this edition of Song Fu was not able to compete. Therefore, the Challenger with the most votes has been declared the winner, and has become a Master of Song Fu – joining past Challengers Molly Lewis and Berg & Jerry. Despite not getting a go at a Master, our winner decided to do a Final Round song anyway – and you’ll find that below, preceeded by some comments about the song in question, straight from the newly-minted Master, who has won not only the remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, but has also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

THE MASTER OF SONG FU #5

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)

When thinking of what to do as a final song, I thought back to my first real Song Fu challenge – “Write a Happy Song” – and, as this win had a hint of bittersweetnes about it, I thought I would flip that first challenge around and “Write a Sad Song”…

…this is it. Thanks to Ken for the Fu, and to all the regs at TooMuchAwesome for inspiration!

Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant

ROUND 1 SONG: “#297 Mr. Tom Furby”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/joe_covenant_lamb-297-mr_tom_furby.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “2”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/joe_covenant_lamb-2.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Ghoul Tide”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/joe_covenant_lamb-ghoul_tide.mp3]
FINAL SONG: “Life is Hard (… then you die)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/joe_covenant_lamb-life_is_hard_then_you_die.mp3]

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 3 songs, CLICK HERE.

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 2 songs, CLICK HERE.

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

ROUND 3 VOTING

ROUND 3 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS RESULTS

[poll id=”23″]

View Results

ROUND 2 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS RESULTS

[poll id=”22″]

View Results

ROUND 1 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS RESULTS

[poll id=”21″]

View Results

SIGN-UPS FOR MASTERS OF SONG FU #6 WILL COMMENCE ON MONDAY, JANUARY 25th

[ad#contestbox]

We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

Oh, and what do we call this competition?

MASTERS OF SONG FU

Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as your ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be your final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all of the Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

So what was the 1st Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

This is a bit of a fun one. Your first task is based upon the work of Friend-of-the-Stop John Hodgman – specifically, the “700 MOLE MEN” listed in his second book, More Information Than You Require. You’ll find the full list of “700 Mole Men” – and their descriptions – HERE. Your task is to choose one (1) and write a song about that Mole Man, based on the description provided by Hodgman. The title of your song will be the name of the Mole Man you’ve chosen, and its corresponding number on the list. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Challengers below, as well as the results of the Round 1 voting (As some competitors did not make their Round 2 submission in time, you’ll find those missing songs in the ROUND 1 ZIP FILE, which you can download below).

So what was the 2nd Challenge?

ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a song about a number.

That’s right – a song about a number. It can be any number, and it can be describing or representing anything. The number you choose will be the title of your song. The song can be in any style you’d like. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

If you want some inspiration, here’s a number song from Harry Nilsson…
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/harry_nilsson-one.mp3]

So what was the 3rd Challenge?

ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

Write a winter holiday song that is not about the holidays.

Your song can reference the holidays, but must not be explicitly about them. However, it should incorporate instruments and/or a style that evokes the holidays. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds.

If you want some inspiration, here’s a song from Jona Lewie, “Stop The Cavalry”…
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/jona_lewie-stop_the-cavalry.mp3]

You’ll find the Round 3 songs from each of our Challengers below (plus a pair of out-of-competition shadow entries), followed by the Round 3 voting form…

THE CHALLENGERS

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also – feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!

Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html

ROUND 1 SONG: “#138 Sir Isaac Quickmud”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/edric_haleen-138-sir_isaac_quickmud.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Zero Point Nine (Ad Infinitum)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/edric_haleen-zero_point_nine.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “The Night Before”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/edric_haleen-the_night_before.mp3]

GODZ POODLZ

Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!

Official Website: www.myspace.com/godzpoodlz

ROUND 1 SONG: “#381 Captain Dane Frostline”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/godz_poodlz-381-captain_dane_frostline.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “3455316008”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/godz_poodlz-3455316008.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “A Gift from Godz Poodlz”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/godz_poodlz-a_gift_from_godz_poodlz.mp3]

MANTICESS

Manitcess are Susanne Wolff (Lupa) on vocals and Johannes Schult (Jutze) on guitar. The duo plays melodic song somewhere between pop, folk and rock. Melodies are more important than trends. The band has already played various gigs in Germany and Switzerland and is eager to entertain – or better to enchant their audience with their musical tales.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/manticess
Twitter: twitter.com/schult

ROUND 1 SONG: “#423 Red”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/manticess-423-red.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “1998”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/manticess-1998.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “After I Have Gone”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/manticess-after_i_have_gone.mp3]

JALAPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

Official Website: jalapenojabaneros.blogspot.com

ROUND 1 SONG: “#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jalapeno_habaneros-604-suction-cupped_jonny.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Pi”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jalapeno_habaneros-pi.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Rudolph The Red”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/jalapeno_habaneros-rudolph_the_red.mp3]

JUBILEE JEWS

They are not some traveling country hillbilly act. They are celebrating the year of Jubilee in the form of ukulele based indie pop. They are Akiva Misto and Eliana Bartimeus and they are prepared to rock your yarmulkes!

Official Website: NONE

ROUND 1 SONG: “#487 Lady Antonia Oddpolyps”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jubilee_jews-487-lady_antonia_oddpolyps.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “i: The Square Root Of -1 (The Imaginary Number)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jubilee_jews-the_square_root_of_-1.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “(All Because I’m) Not With My Heart”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/jubilee_jews-all_because_im_not_with_my_heart.mp3]

PETER BENEDICT

Peter is a person of sorts. Since his birth he has consistently occupied himself with a variety of time consuming and completely un-noteworthy activities. Despite this breadth of experience he remains untalented in the ways of writing all encompassing 600 word essays. He does, however, greatly enjoy the rare treat that is writing about oneself in the third person, especially when such a gift should be presented to him at the wonderful time of 4AM. Peter now supposes that since this a musical competition he is entering, he might want to include something about that in his bio. At the way too old age of 18, Peter first attempted to play music. His guitar teacher warned him that he was much to old to begin training, and that he would probably be an emotionally unstable musician that would eventually turn to the dark side. Peter took no heed to this warning, and indeed dropped out of guitar lessons fairly quickly, realizing that he enjoyed learning much more when done alone. In the year and a half since then, Peter has been on a steady rise and will no doubt be taking the musical world by storm in the coming year. Perhaps his greatest musical moment came in December of 2008, when his Christmas caroling band, The Sizzle, took his small hick town by storm with a door to door tour through the suburbs, melting the figurative face of listeners with a funk/rap cover of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. In 2009 Peter has become active in the youtube community, known not for his music but for his notorious use of stop-motion eating scenes and a DIY laugh track. Hoping to hone his barely existing musical skills through the pressure of competition, Peter joins Round 5 of Song Fu. He sincerely hopes that rewriting this bio at a later date will be an option. The Peter Is Competing.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/thepeteris
Twitter: twitter.com/thepeteris

ROUND 1 SONG: “#315 Mr. Dennimore Evercrouch”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/peter_benedict-315-mr_dennimore_evercrouch.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “0”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/peter_benedict-0.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Lament”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/peter_benedict-lament.mp3]

JOSH HOLOBER-WARD

Josh was born in Canada, which probably explains more about him than anything else he could put in a bio. He plays the accordion, is self-taught on the piano, and highly enjoys playing and writing for both – though he rarely finishes anything without a deadline. With this grueling contest, he hopes to push himself to unleash the best Fu he possibly can… and hell, maybe even some he impossibly can. YARRR!

Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/PossessedRaccoon

ROUND 1 SONG: “#422 Mokey”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/josh_holober-ward-422-mokey.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Five”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/josh_holober-ward-five.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Snow Day”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/josh_holober-ward-snow_day.mp3]

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)

Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant

ROUND 1 SONG: “#297 Mr. Tom Furby”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/joe_covenant_lamb-297-mr_tom_furby.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “2”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/joe_covenant_lamb-2.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Ghoul Tide”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/joe_covenant_lamb-ghoul_tide.mp3]

LEX VADER

Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.

Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
Twitter: twitter.com/LexVader

ROUND 1 SONG: “#153 Permanent Unsex”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/lex_vader-153-permanent_unsex.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Six (I Am Not A Number)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/lex_vader-six_i_am_not_a_number.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Ewoks”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/lex_vader-ewoks.mp3]

CALEB HINES

Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders, baroque flute, ukulele, melodica, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, guitar. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com
Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines

ROUND 1 SONG: “#490 Mr. Nehemiah Bloodwormer”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/caleb_hines-490-mr_nehemiah_bloodwormer.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Flight 93 – Memorial to Courage”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/caleb_hines-flight_93_memorial_to_courage.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Finals Week”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/caleb_hines-finals_week.mp3]

ZER0GUY

Sometimes two people get together who are destined to make history. Sometimes they are born into the same family. zer0guy is the musical/life-partnership of Jon and Dan Kelly, long time musicians looking forward to placing notes in your head.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/zer0guyband

ROUND 1 SONG: “#237 Dirtbag Dan”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/zer0guy-237-dirtbag_dan.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “203012”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/zer0guy-203012.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Let It Snow, Like We Have a Choice”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/zeroguy-let_it_snow_like_we_have_a_choice.mp3]

JONATHAN MANN

My current project is writing A Song a Day (Rock Cookie Bottom), and my former projects include The Last Nympho Leprechaun, a rock opera, The Mario Opera, a rock opera, GameJew, a web show, and The Mushroom Singdom, singing old school video game reviews.

Official Website: www.rockcookiebottom.com

ROUND 1 SONG: “#612 Mr. Barry Screwskull”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jonathan_mann-612-mr_barry_screwskull.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “The Number Nine!”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jonathan_mann-the_number_nine.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Jesus Christ At Christmas Time”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/jonathan_mann-jesus_christ_at_christmas_time.mp3]

SARA PARSONS

Sara Parsons is a twenty-year-old music composition student from northern California. She participated in Masters of Song Fu #4 and had a blast and met a ton of great people. She hopes she’s better at writing songs than she is at writing her own biography.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup

ROUND 1 SONG: “#573 Miss Miriam Poisonblisters”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/sara_parsons-573-miss_miriam_poisonblisters.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “7.5”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/sara_parsons-7_point_5.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Dead Week (A Song About Failure)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/sara_parsons-dead_week_a_song_about_failure.mp3]

CHAS LILLY

Chas Lilly is a man that needs introduction. He is geeky but hopefully without being boring. He has been known to write songs about Pluto, Tim Allen, funerals, and everything in between. People often describe his music as “music”.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/friendswobenefits
Twitter: twitter.com/foldsaholic

ROUND 1 SONG: “#567 Mr. Angelo Openjaw”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/chas_lilly-567-mr_angelo_openjaw.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “10 (Things That Made This The Worst Date Ever)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/chas_lilly-10_things_that_made_this_the_worst_date_ever.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Salvation Army”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/chas_lilly-salvation_army.mp3]

KYLIE PETTO

My name is Kylie, and I’m your everyday 17-year-old girl with a passion for music. I’ve been writing my own songs since I was ten years old, and nothing is more fun for me than to sit down with my guitar and unwind. I’d like to use Masters of Song Fu to really challenge myself, and hopefully grow as a musical artist.

Official Website: NONE
Twitter: twitter.com/KyliePetto

ROUND 1 SONG: “#141 Devil Anse Doubledirt”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/kylie_petto-141-devil-anse-doubledirt.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “8”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/kylie_petto-8.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Snow Drift”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/kylie_petto-snow_drift.mp3]

ALEX TAYLOR

I am a young musician who plays trombone, guitar, ukulele, piano, melodica, and a little bit of harmonica. I play everything from rock songs with distortion pedals on ukulele, to rap medleys on piano, to sappy love songs and songs about the internet crashing on guitar. This is my first time in Song Fu.

Official Website: NONE

ROUND 1 SONG: “#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/alex_taylor-604-suction-cupped_jonny.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “i”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/alex_taylor-i.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Dear Santa”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/alex_taylor-dear_santa.mp3]

SIMMBIOSIS

Simmbiosis – three part band. Defies the usual type or brand. A combo bred, in this strange head. The obscene voice the unseen hand. Terpsichore and muse imbued. Perverse perhaps a little rude. Music composed, a life exposed. Giving you all I can exude. Studio C where I compose. Club Bed where I take my repose. Iniquity, safe haven for me. The rest you’ll just have to suppose. To be among this crowd, auspicious. An honor bordering on delicious. Thanks to View Askew, I’ll whip out my Song Fu. And work not to be repetitious, repetitious, repetitious.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/simmbiosis

ROUND 1 SONG: “#646 Hydrostatic Charlie”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/simmbiosis-646-hydrostatic_charlie.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Sevenly – The Magnificent Seven”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/simmbiosis-sevenly_the_magnificent_seven.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Holy Daze”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/simmbiosis-holy_daze.mp3]

DENISE HUDSON

Denise Hudson is doing Song Fu again because last time the contest gave her a rush that she’d never had before. She is thinking this contest will help her further her career in the frightening world, the scary internet (ack!), and in Austin – a city in which there are many Live Music Capitalists of the World. She’s hoping to avoid mixdown mixups, to master her mastering, and hopefully… not become a twittasaurus rex. She’d like to thank her friends – local, national, international, intergalactic, and those from the beyond. Peace, Love, and Grapenuts.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson

ROUND 2 SONG: “Four 5ths”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/denise_hudson-four_5ths.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Mistakes Were Made”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/denise_hudson-mistakes_were_made.mp3]

STEVE CHATTERTON

Hi, my name is Steve Chatterton, the quintessential one-man-band singer/songwriter net-based recording project. Mom always said I marched to the sound of a different drummer, but she never mentioned which one. Dad had a fondness for bagpipes. Fortunately, neither of them have any direct influence on my music. Specializing in quirky little guitar-oriented pop songs about bugs, the Scooby gang, pirates, palindromes, superheroes, old movies, infectious diseases, imaginary friends and sideshow freaks, I guess you could say I pretty much write love songs. I’m a cheesy bastard at heart. I’m a stay-at-home dad who’s looking to find more time in the studio when my youngest starts school in September. I have an ever-expanding back catalog (at least 3 albums worth & counting) I’m dying to share with the world one download at a time.
Official Website: www.stevechatterton.com
Twitter: twitter.com/SteveChatterton
ROUND 1 SONG: “#042 Miss Claudia Inward Burrowdown”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/steve_chatteron-042-miss_claudia_inward_burrowdown.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “My Epic Battle With Gravity”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/steve-chatterton-my-epic-battle-with-gravity.mp3]

GORBZILLA

Gorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.
Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#414 Nick Nolte”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/gorbzilla-414-nick_nolte.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Festivus! (For The Rest Of Us)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/gorbzilla-festivus_for_the_rest_of_us.mp3]

CRAIG RICHIE

At the ripe age of 19, this strapping young lad has been song writing for two years now. With his mates Meredith and Cornelius (guitar and ukulele, respectively), Craig Richie is prepared to join the ranks of the Song Fu warriors. Finding strong influences from former masters JoCo and Molly Lewis, as well as pinches of Kimya Dawson and Elvis Costello, this boy’s got a perspective on the world to share.
Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/craigtotherichie
ROUND 1 SONG: “#275 Mr. Owen Daylight”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/craig_richie-275-mr_owen_daylight.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “The Christmas Beers”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/craig_richie-the_christmas_beers.mp3]

SPENCER SOKOL

Spencer is trying to do things. Music is one of those things. It is painfully obvious to him, if not others, that he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. In the past he has been musically inclined with a guitar and occasionally with a piano. He is trying to be musically active once again, but this time he is attempting to do so while on the Internets. Creating music is a large part of his 40×40 list and he thinks this competition seems like “a Super Mega Happy Fun way” to rekindle his musical desires.
Official Website: www.spencersokol.com
Twitter: twitter.com/spencersokol
ROUND 1 SONG: “#298 Mr. Deadend”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/spencer_sokol-298-mr_deadend.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Unfinished”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/spencer_sokol-unfinished.mp3]

IAN “TWO SHADES” JOHNSON

Ian Johnson was born atop Mount Everest, was attacked by a troop of ninjas on his way out of the womb, then rode a grizzly bear down the mountain and punched Hitler’s ghost on the way down. Then he ate some mashed peas. Seriously though. Ian played piano for about six years before taking a break in music. Then he decided to play guitar, because as we all know, piano don’t get chicks. He started playing guitar about a year and a half ago. His music has been described (by himself) as garage-punk ska-esque acoustic altern-rock with just a little ukulele thrown in for good measure.
Official Website: ianjohnson.bandcamp.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#145 Mandibular-Jaw Johnny”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/ian_johnson-145-mandibular-jaw_johnny.mp3]
ROUND 3 SONG: “Paulie The Black Nosed Reindeer”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/ian_two_shades_johnson-paulie_the_black_nosed_reindeer.mp3]

SHADOW ENTRIES

BOFFO YUX DUDES

The Boffo Yux Dudes began in the 80’s and 90’s doing radio comedy, and promptly fell asleep for the next 15 years. Tom Giarrosso and Allan Morgan (Pop Machine) continue the tradition of trying to recreate their lost youth with exceedingly torturous music, instead of spending the money on therapy like normal people having a midlife crisis. Tom blames Mike Lombardo for showing him the Fu way of doing things, and now he has to listen to the voices and write songs instead of doing his actual day job.
Official Website: www.boffoyux.com
Twitter: twitter.com/boffoyuxdudes
ROUND 3 SONG: “Our Winter Love”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/shadow_entry-boffo_yux_dudes-our_winter_love.mp3]

MIKE LOMBARDO

Mike Lombardo is a piano-playing pop-rock singer-songwriter who likes to use hyphens when describing his occupation. A recent graduate of Berklee College of Music, he spends most of his time banging on pianos, teaching children how to bang on pianos, or playing shows with his band, the Mike Lombardo Trio. Feel free to go to his website and send him lots of money. Or cookies.
Official Website: www.mikelombardomusic.com
Twitter: twitter.com/mikelombardo
ROUND 3 SONG: “The Elf’s Lament”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song3/shadow_entry-mike_lombardo-the_elfs_lament.mp3]

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 3 songs, CLICK HERE.

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 2 songs, CLICK HERE.

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

ROUND 3 VOTING

And now, it’s time for the voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SUNDAY, DECEMBER 20th. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again. PLEASE NOTE: This voting system bases voting eligibility on your IP Address. If there are other computers on a home or business network that share the same IP address through a router, it may say you’ve already voted. Unfortunately, there is no way around this, and still be able to prevent ballot stuffing. It’s just the nature of the online voting beast.

ROUND 3 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

[poll id=”23″]

View Results

ROUND 2 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS RESULTS

[poll id=”22″]

View Results

ROUND 1 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS RESULTS

[poll id=”21″]

View Results

If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

[ad#contestbox]

We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

Oh, and what do we call this competition?

MASTERS OF SONG FU

Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as your ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be your final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all of the Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

This is a bit of a fun one. Your first task is based upon the work of Friend-of-the-Stop John Hodgman – specifically, the “700 MOLE MEN” listed in his second book, More Information Than You Require. You’ll find the full list of “700 Mole Men” – and their descriptions – HERE. Your task is to choose one (1) and write a song about that Mole Man, based on the description provided by Hodgman. The title of your song will be the name of the Mole Man you’ve chosen, and its corresponding number on the list. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Challengers below, as well as the results of the Round 1 voting (As some competitors did not make their Round 2 submission in time, you’ll find those missing songs in the ROUND 1 ZIP FILE, which you can download below).

So what was the 2nd Challenge?

ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a song about a number.

That’s right – a song about a number. It can be any number, and it can be describing or representing anything. The number you choose will be the title of your song. The song can be in any style you’d like. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

If you want some inspiration, here’s a number song from Harry Nilsson…
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/harry_nilsson-one.mp3]

You’ll find the Round 2 songs from each of our Challengers below, as well as the STILL ONGOING Round 2 voting (it ends on December 6th, so be sure to vote!). More importantly, though, you’ll also discover what the Round 3 Challenge is!

THE CHALLENGERS

JASON MORRIS

I suppose I am what you could call a “Multi-Instrumentalist”. That is a nice way of saying “Jack-of-all-trades, Master-of-none”. I began playing drums as a teenager and spent a great deal of energy during my 20’s trying to “make it” in the music biz. As a drummer, I have had the opportunity to play with some pretty incredible musicians, garnering literally DOZENS of fans over the years. In 2004 I joined the band Celestial Static, and spent several years melting some face with good friends Jeremy and Julie Elzerman. Once that ran its course, I decided to spend more time locked away in my studio, writing my own songs and learning to play guitar, bass and sing. It doesn’t pay the bills, but I have a good time doing it.

Official Website: www.jason-morris.net
Twitter: twitter.com/JasonLMorris

ROUND 1 SONG: “#019 Thomas Ashley Innersun”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jason_morris-019-thomas_ashley_innersun.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Natural 18”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jason_morris-natural_18.mp3]

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also – feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!

Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html

ROUND 1 SONG: “#138 Sir Isaac Quickmud”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/edric_haleen-138-sir_isaac_quickmud.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Zero Point Nine (Ad Infinitum)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/edric_haleen-zero_point_nine.mp3]

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. I write and record my songs solo, in my little make-shift studio, and when I play live, I often get some help from friends. Some of my music is funny, and some isn’t. More often than not, the humour is unintentional. My Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back again, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been described as a “Cajun Buddy Holly” and an “Optimistic Elvis Costello”. It’s been said that I sound like “That guy from the Barenaked Ladies” and a “Nasaly Bob Dylan”. One of these days, I hope to have a description that is accurate.

Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby

ROUND 1 SONG: “#139 Mr. Genuine Hissfurther”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/buckethat_bobby_matheson-139-mr_genuine_hissfurther.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “300”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/buckethat_bobby_matheson-300.mp3]

GODZ POODLZ

Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!

Official Website: www.myspace.com/godzpoodlz

ROUND 1 SONG: “#381 Captain Dane Frostline”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/godz_poodlz-381-captain_dane_frostline.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “3455316008”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/godz_poodlz-3455316008.mp3]

BRAM TANT

Bram Tant is a Belgian coputer science student with a distinct love for music. Ever since going to music school as a kid, he’s enjoyed singing and playing the guitar, and has been writing songs for some years now. While he’s still learning to play the guitar, sing and write songs better, he improves with each attempt, and he makes up for it (and the lack of proper recording equipment) with his passion and enthusiasm. He would like to become a professional musician someday, but for now he’s satisfied with writing and performing for friends, family, and strangers on the internet.

Official Website: studwww.ugent.be/~btant/

Twitter: twitter.com/dantesxx

ROUND 1 SONG: “#666 Tommy Dickfish”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/bram_tant-666-tommy_dickfish.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Five”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/bram_tant-five.mp3]

MANTICESS

Manitcess are Susanne Wolff (Lupa) on vocals and Johannes Schult (Jutze) on guitar. The duo plays melodic song somewhere between pop, folk and rock. Melodies are more important than trends. The band has already played various gigs in Germany and Switzerland and is eager to entertain – or better to enchant their audience with their musical tales.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/manticess
Twitter: twitter.com/schult

ROUND 1 SONG: “#423 Red”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/manticess-423-red.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “1998”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/manticess-1998.mp3]

JALAPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

Official Website: jalapenojabaneros.blogspot.com

ROUND 1 SONG: “#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jalapeno_habaneros-604-suction-cupped_jonny.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Pi”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jalapeno_habaneros-pi.mp3]

TIMOTHY RUSH

Hi, my name is Timothy. I like me. I like my school, I like my friends. I like to play the music. I very much enjoy the peoples. Thank you.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
Twitter: twitter.com/TimmyVendetta

ROUND 1 SONG: “#006 Sir Stinson Maggotwrangle”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/timothy_rush-006-sir_stinson_maggotwrangle.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Me & 23”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/timothy_rush-me_and_23.mp3]

JUBILEE JEWS

They are not some traveling country hillbilly act. They are celebrating the year of Jubilee in the form of ukulele based indie pop. They are Akiva Misto and Eliana Bartimeus and they are prepared to rock your yarmulkes!

Official Website: NONE

ROUND 1 SONG: “#487 Lady Antonia Oddpolyps”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jubilee_jews-487-lady_antonia_oddpolyps.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “i: The Square Root Of -1 (The Imaginary Number)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jubilee_jews-the_square_root_of_-1.mp3]

PETER BENEDICT

Peter is a person of sorts. Since his birth he has consistently occupied himself with a variety of time consuming and completely un-noteworthy activities. Despite this breadth of experience he remains untalented in the ways of writing all encompassing 600 word essays. He does, however, greatly enjoy the rare treat that is writing about oneself in the third person, especially when such a gift should be presented to him at the wonderful time of 4AM. Peter now supposes that since this a musical competition he is entering, he might want to include something about that in his bio. At the way too old age of 18, Peter first attempted to play music. His guitar teacher warned him that he was much to old to begin training, and that he would probably be an emotionally unstable musician that would eventually turn to the dark side. Peter took no heed to this warning, and indeed dropped out of guitar lessons fairly quickly, realizing that he enjoyed learning much more when done alone. In the year and a half since then, Peter has been on a steady rise and will no doubt be taking the musical world by storm in the coming year. Perhaps his greatest musical moment came in December of 2008, when his Christmas caroling band, The Sizzle, took his small hick town by storm with a door to door tour through the suburbs, melting the figurative face of listeners with a funk/rap cover of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. In 2009 Peter has become active in the youtube community, known not for his music but for his notorious use of stop-motion eating scenes and a DIY laugh track. Hoping to hone his barely existing musical skills through the pressure of competition, Peter joins Round 5 of Song Fu. He sincerely hopes that rewriting this bio at a later date will be an option. The Peter Is Competing.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/thepeteris
Twitter: twitter.com/thepeteris

ROUND 1 SONG: “#315 Mr. Dennimore Evercrouch”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/peter_benedict-315-mr_dennimore_evercrouch.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “0”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/peter_benedict-0.mp3]

JOSH HOLOBER-WARD

Josh was born in Canada, which probably explains more about him than anything else he could put in a bio. He plays the accordion, is self-taught on the piano, and highly enjoys playing and writing for both – though he rarely finishes anything without a deadline. With this grueling contest, he hopes to push himself to unleash the best Fu he possibly can… and hell, maybe even some he impossibly can. YARRR!

Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/PossessedRaccoon

ROUND 1 SONG: “#422 Mokey”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/josh_holober-ward-422-mokey.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Five”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/josh_holober-ward-five.mp3]

AARON Z

Many folks say that Aaron Z is a pretty cool guy. He plays too many instruments, but mostly piano & guitar. He wastes too much of his free time writing and performing music, which has been known to make people laugh, tough men cry, and ladies melt in his arms. His current projects include Orange Box: The Musical! and A Tribute to the Letter E. He likes food cooked with mushrooms and his favorite ice-creams are vanilla-based, not chocolate-based. Check out his music, including his previously-weekly but now faux-weekly music project on his website, plus his other cool music.

Official Website: aaronz.bandcamp.com

ROUND 1 SONG: “#590 Harvey Rupert Elder”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/aaron_z-590-harvey_rupert_elder.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Five”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/aaron_z-five.mp3]

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)

Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant

ROUND 1 SONG: “#297 Mr. Tom Furby”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/joe_covenant_lamb-297-mr_tom_furby.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “2”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/joe_covenant_lamb-2.mp3]

LEX VADER

Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.

Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
Twitter: twitter.com/LexVader

ROUND 1 SONG: “#153 Permanent Unsex”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/lex_vader-153-permanent_unsex.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Six (I Am Not A Number)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/lex_vader-six_i_am_not_a_number.mp3]

CALEB HINES

Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders, baroque flute, ukulele, melodica, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, guitar. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com
Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines

ROUND 1 SONG: “#490 Mr. Nehemiah Bloodwormer”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/caleb_hines-490-mr_nehemiah_bloodwormer.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Flight 93 – Memorial to Courage”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/caleb_hines-flight_93_memorial_to_courage.mp3]

ZER0GUY

Sometimes two people get together who are destined to make history. Sometimes they are born into the same family. zer0guy is the musical/life-partnership of Jon and Dan Kelly, long time musicians looking forward to placing notes in your head.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/zer0guyband

ROUND 1 SONG: “#237 Dirtbag Dan”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/zer0guy-237-dirtbag_dan.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “203012”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/zer0guy-203012.mp3]

JONATHAN MANN

My current project is writing A Song a Day (Rock Cookie Bottom), and my former projects include The Last Nympho Leprechaun, a rock opera, The Mario Opera, a rock opera, GameJew, a web show, and The Mushroom Singdom, singing old school video game reviews.

Official Website: www.rockcookiebottom.com

ROUND 1 SONG: “#612 Mr. Barry Screwskull”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jonathan_mann-612-mr_barry_screwskull.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “The Number Nine!”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jonathan_mann-the_number_nine.mp3]

SARA PARSONS

Sara Parsons is a twenty-year-old music composition student from northern California. She participated in Masters of Song Fu #4 and had a blast and met a ton of great people. She hopes she’s better at writing songs than she is at writing her own biography.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup

ROUND 1 SONG: “#573 Miss Miriam Poisonblisters”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/sara_parsons-573-miss_miriam_poisonblisters.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “7.5”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/sara_parsons-7_point_5.mp3]

CHAS LILLY

Chas Lilly is a man that needs introduction. He is geeky but hopefully without being boring. He has been known to write songs about Pluto, Tim Allen, funerals, and everything in between. People often describe his music as “music”.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/friendswobenefits
Twitter: twitter.com/foldsaholic

ROUND 1 SONG: “#567 Mr. Angelo Openjaw”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/chas_lilly-567-mr_angelo_openjaw.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “10 (Things That Made This The Worst Date Ever)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/chas_lilly-10_things_that_made_this_the_worst_date_ever.mp3]

KYLIE PETTO

My name is Kylie, and I’m your everyday 17-year-old girl with a passion for music. I’ve been writing my own songs since I was ten years old, and nothing is more fun for me than to sit down with my guitar and unwind. I’d like to use Masters of Song Fu to really challenge myself, and hopefully grow as a musical artist.

Official Website: NONE
Twitter: twitter.com/KyliePetto

ROUND 1 SONG: “#141 Devil Anse Doubledirt”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/kylie_petto-141-devil-anse-doubledirt.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “8”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/kylie_petto-8.mp3]

ALEX TAYLOR

I am a young musician who plays trombone, guitar, ukulele, piano, melodica, and a little bit of harmonica. I play everything from rock songs with distortion pedals on ukulele, to rap medleys on piano, to sappy love songs and songs about the internet crashing on guitar. This is my first time in Song Fu.

Official Website: NONE

ROUND 1 SONG: “#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/alex_taylor-604-suction-cupped_jonny.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “i”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/alex_taylor-i.mp3]

GIFTED GEAR

I’m just a kid with a guitar. Sometimes I even play it.

Official Website: NONE

ROUND 1 SONG: “#580 Old Man Hades”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/gifted_gear-580-old_man_hades.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Eight”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/gifted_gear-eight.mp3]

SIMMBIOSIS

Simmbiosis – three part band. Defies the usual type or brand. A combo bred, in this strange head. The obscene voice the unseen hand. Terpsichore and muse imbued. Perverse perhaps a little rude. Music composed, a life exposed. Giving you all I can exude. Studio C where I compose. Club Bed where I take my repose. Iniquity, safe haven for me. The rest you’ll just have to suppose. To be among this crowd, auspicious. An honor bordering on delicious. Thanks to View Askew, I’ll whip out my Song Fu. And work not to be repetitious, repetitious, repetitious.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/simmbiosis

ROUND 1 SONG: “#646 Hydrostatic Charlie”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/simmbiosis-646-hydrostatic_charlie.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Sevenly – The Magnificent Seven”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/simmbiosis-sevenly_the_magnificent_seven.mp3]

DENISE HUDSON

Denise Hudson is doing Song Fu again because last time the contest gave her a rush that she’d never had before. She is thinking this contest will help her further her career in the frightening world, the scary internet (ack!), and in Austin – a city in which there are many Live Music Capitalists of the World. She’s hoping to avoid mixdown mixups, to master her mastering, and hopefully… not become a twittasaurus rex. She’d like to thank her friends – local, national, international, intergalactic, and those from the beyond. Peace, Love, and Grapenuts.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson

ROUND 2 SONG: “Four 5ths”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/denise_hudson-four_5ths.mp3]

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 2 songs, CLICK HERE.

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

ROUND 3 CHALLENGE

Write a winter holiday song that is not about the holidays.

Your song can reference the holidays, but must not be explicitly about them. However, it should incorporate instruments and/or a style that evokes the holidays. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute 30 seconds.

Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Sunday, December 13th, 2009.

Voting on Round 3 submissions will commence on Tuesday, December 15th, 2009.

If you want some inspiration, here’s a song from Jona Lewie, “Stop The Cavalry”…
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/jona_lewie-stop_the-cavalry.mp3]

ROUND 2 VOTING

And now, it’s time for the voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SUNDAY, DECEMBER 6th. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again. PLEASE NOTE: This voting system bases voting eligibility on your IP Address. If there are other computers on a home or business network that share the same IP address through a router, it may say you’ve already voted. Unfortunately, there is no way around this, and still be able to prevent ballot stuffing. It’s just the nature of the online voting beast.

ROUND 2 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

[poll id=”22″]

View Results

ROUND 1 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS RESULTS

[poll id=”21″]

View Results

If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

[ad#contestbox]

We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

Oh, and what do we call this competition?

MASTERS OF SONG FU

Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as your ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be your final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all of the Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

This is a bit of a fun one. Your first task is based upon the work of Friend-of-the-Stop John Hodgman – specifically, the “700 MOLE MEN” listed in his second book, More Information Than You Require. You’ll find the full list of “700 Mole Men” – and their descriptions – HERE. Your task is to choose one (1) and write a song about that Mole Man, based on the description provided by Hodgman. The title of your song will be the name of the Mole Man you’ve chosen, and its corresponding number on the list. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Challengers below, as well as the results of the Round 1 voting (As some competitors did not make their Round 2 submission in time, you’ll find those missing songs in the ROUND 1 ZIP FILE, which you can download below).

So what was the 2nd Challenge?

ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a song about a number.

That’s right – a song about a number. It can be any number, and it can be describing or representing anything. The number you choose will be the title of your song. The song can be in any style you’d like. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

If you want some inspiration, here’s a number song from Harry Nilsson…
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/harry_nilsson-one.mp3]

You’ll find the Round 2 songs from each of our Challengers below, followed by the Round 2 voting form…

THE CHALLENGERS

JASON MORRIS

I suppose I am what you could call a “Multi-Instrumentalist”. That is a nice way of saying “Jack-of-all-trades, Master-of-none”. I began playing drums as a teenager and spent a great deal of energy during my 20’s trying to “make it” in the music biz. As a drummer, I have had the opportunity to play with some pretty incredible musicians, garnering literally DOZENS of fans over the years. In 2004 I joined the band Celestial Static, and spent several years melting some face with good friends Jeremy and Julie Elzerman. Once that ran its course, I decided to spend more time locked away in my studio, writing my own songs and learning to play guitar, bass and sing. It doesn’t pay the bills, but I have a good time doing it.

Official Website: www.jason-morris.net
Twitter: twitter.com/JasonLMorris

ROUND 1 SONG: “#019 Thomas Ashley Innersun”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jason_morris-019-thomas_ashley_innersun.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Natural 18”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jason_morris-natural_18.mp3]

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also – feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!

Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html

ROUND 1 SONG: “#138 Sir Isaac Quickmud”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/edric_haleen-138-sir_isaac_quickmud.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Zero Point Nine (Ad Infinitum)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/edric_haleen-zero_point_nine.mp3]

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. I write and record my songs solo, in my little make-shift studio, and when I play live, I often get some help from friends. Some of my music is funny, and some isn’t. More often than not, the humour is unintentional. My Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back again, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been described as a “Cajun Buddy Holly” and an “Optimistic Elvis Costello”. It’s been said that I sound like “That guy from the Barenaked Ladies” and a “Nasaly Bob Dylan”. One of these days, I hope to have a description that is accurate.

Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby

ROUND 1 SONG: “#139 Mr. Genuine Hissfurther”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/buckethat_bobby_matheson-139-mr_genuine_hissfurther.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “300”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/buckethat_bobby_matheson-300.mp3]

GODZ POODLZ

Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!

Official Website: www.myspace.com/godzpoodlz

ROUND 1 SONG: “#381 Captain Dane Frostline”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/godz_poodlz-381-captain_dane_frostline.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “3455316008”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/godz_poodlz-3455316008.mp3]

BRAM TANT

Bram Tant is a Belgian coputer science student with a distinct love for music. Ever since going to music school as a kid, he’s enjoyed singing and playing the guitar, and has been writing songs for some years now. While he’s still learning to play the guitar, sing and write songs better, he improves with each attempt, and he makes up for it (and the lack of proper recording equipment) with his passion and enthusiasm. He would like to become a professional musician someday, but for now he’s satisfied with writing and performing for friends, family, and strangers on the internet.

Official Website: studwww.ugent.be/~btant/

Twitter: twitter.com/dantesxx

ROUND 1 SONG: “#666 Tommy Dickfish”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/bram_tant-666-tommy_dickfish.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Five”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/bram_tant-five.mp3]

MANTICESS

Manitcess are Susanne Wolff (Lupa) on vocals and Johannes Schult (Jutze) on guitar. The duo plays melodic song somewhere between pop, folk and rock. Melodies are more important than trends. The band has already played various gigs in Germany and Switzerland and is eager to entertain – or better to enchant their audience with their musical tales.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/manticess
Twitter: twitter.com/schult

ROUND 1 SONG: “#423 Red”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/manticess-423-red.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “1998”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/manticess-1998.mp3]

JALAPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

Official Website: jalapenojabaneros.blogspot.com

ROUND 1 SONG: “#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jalapeno_habaneros-604-suction-cupped_jonny.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Pi”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jalapeno_habaneros-pi.mp3]

TIMOTHY RUSH

Hi, my name is Timothy. I like me. I like my school, I like my friends. I like to play the music. I very much enjoy the peoples. Thank you.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
Twitter: twitter.com/TimmyVendetta

ROUND 1 SONG: “#006 Sir Stinson Maggotwrangle”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/timothy_rush-006-sir_stinson_maggotwrangle.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Me & 23”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/timothy_rush-me_and_23.mp3]

JUBILEE JEWS

They are not some traveling country hillbilly act. They are celebrating the year of Jubilee in the form of ukulele based indie pop. They are Akiva Misto and Eliana Bartimeus and they are prepared to rock your yarmulkes!

Official Website: NONE

ROUND 1 SONG: “#487 Lady Antonia Oddpolyps”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jubilee_jews-487-lady_antonia_oddpolyps.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “i: The Square Root Of -1 (The Imaginary Number)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jubilee_jews-the_square_root_of_-1.mp3]

PETER BENEDICT

Peter is a person of sorts. Since his birth he has consistently occupied himself with a variety of time consuming and completely un-noteworthy activities. Despite this breadth of experience he remains untalented in the ways of writing all encompassing 600 word essays. He does, however, greatly enjoy the rare treat that is writing about oneself in the third person, especially when such a gift should be presented to him at the wonderful time of 4AM. Peter now supposes that since this a musical competition he is entering, he might want to include something about that in his bio. At the way too old age of 18, Peter first attempted to play music. His guitar teacher warned him that he was much to old to begin training, and that he would probably be an emotionally unstable musician that would eventually turn to the dark side. Peter took no heed to this warning, and indeed dropped out of guitar lessons fairly quickly, realizing that he enjoyed learning much more when done alone. In the year and a half since then, Peter has been on a steady rise and will no doubt be taking the musical world by storm in the coming year. Perhaps his greatest musical moment came in December of 2008, when his Christmas caroling band, The Sizzle, took his small hick town by storm with a door to door tour through the suburbs, melting the figurative face of listeners with a funk/rap cover of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. In 2009 Peter has become active in the youtube community, known not for his music but for his notorious use of stop-motion eating scenes and a DIY laugh track. Hoping to hone his barely existing musical skills through the pressure of competition, Peter joins Round 5 of Song Fu. He sincerely hopes that rewriting this bio at a later date will be an option. The Peter Is Competing.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/thepeteris
Twitter: twitter.com/thepeteris

ROUND 1 SONG: “#315 Mr. Dennimore Evercrouch”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/peter_benedict-315-mr_dennimore_evercrouch.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “0”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/peter_benedict-0.mp3]

JOSH HOLOBER-WARD

Josh was born in Canada, which probably explains more about him than anything else he could put in a bio. He plays the accordion, is self-taught on the piano, and highly enjoys playing and writing for both – though he rarely finishes anything without a deadline. With this grueling contest, he hopes to push himself to unleash the best Fu he possibly can… and hell, maybe even some he impossibly can. YARRR!

Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/PossessedRaccoon

ROUND 1 SONG: “#422 Mokey”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/josh_holober-ward-422-mokey.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Five”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/josh_holober-ward-five.mp3]

AARON Z

Many folks say that Aaron Z is a pretty cool guy. He plays too many instruments, but mostly piano & guitar. He wastes too much of his free time writing and performing music, which has been known to make people laugh, tough men cry, and ladies melt in his arms. His current projects include Orange Box: The Musical! and A Tribute to the Letter E. He likes food cooked with mushrooms and his favorite ice-creams are vanilla-based, not chocolate-based. Check out his music, including his previously-weekly but now faux-weekly music project on his website, plus his other cool music.

Official Website: aaronz.bandcamp.com

ROUND 1 SONG: “#590 Harvey Rupert Elder”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/aaron_z-590-harvey_rupert_elder.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Five”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/aaron_z-five.mp3]

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)

Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant

ROUND 1 SONG: “#297 Mr. Tom Furby”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/joe_covenant_lamb-297-mr_tom_furby.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “2”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/joe_covenant_lamb-2.mp3]

LEX VADER

Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.

Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
Twitter: twitter.com/LexVader

ROUND 1 SONG: “#153 Permanent Unsex”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/lex_vader-153-permanent_unsex.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Six (I Am Not A Number)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/lex_vader-six_i_am_not_a_number.mp3]

CALEB HINES

Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders, baroque flute, ukulele, melodica, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, guitar. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.

Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com
Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines

ROUND 1 SONG: “#490 Mr. Nehemiah Bloodwormer”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/caleb_hines-490-mr_nehemiah_bloodwormer.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Flight 93 – Memorial to Courage”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/caleb_hines-flight_93_memorial_to_courage.mp3]

ZER0GUY

Sometimes two people get together who are destined to make history. Sometimes they are born into the same family. zer0guy is the musical/life-partnership of Jon and Dan Kelly, long time musicians looking forward to placing notes in your head.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/zer0guyband

ROUND 1 SONG: “#237 Dirtbag Dan”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/zer0guy-237-dirtbag_dan.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “203012”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/zer0guy-203012.mp3]

JONATHAN MANN

My current project is writing A Song a Day (Rock Cookie Bottom), and my former projects include The Last Nympho Leprechaun, a rock opera, The Mario Opera, a rock opera, GameJew, a web show, and The Mushroom Singdom, singing old school video game reviews.

Official Website: www.rockcookiebottom.com

ROUND 1 SONG: “#612 Mr. Barry Screwskull”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jonathan_mann-612-mr_barry_screwskull.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “The Number Nine!”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/jonathan_mann-the_number_nine.mp3]

SARA PARSONS

Sara Parsons is a twenty-year-old music composition student from northern California. She participated in Masters of Song Fu #4 and had a blast and met a ton of great people. She hopes she’s better at writing songs than she is at writing her own biography.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup

ROUND 1 SONG: “#573 Miss Miriam Poisonblisters”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/sara_parsons-573-miss_miriam_poisonblisters.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “7.5”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/sara_parsons-7_point_5.mp3]

CHAS LILLY

Chas Lilly is a man that needs introduction. He is geeky but hopefully without being boring. He has been known to write songs about Pluto, Tim Allen, funerals, and everything in between. People often describe his music as “music”.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/friendswobenefits
Twitter: twitter.com/foldsaholic

ROUND 1 SONG: “#567 Mr. Angelo Openjaw”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/chas_lilly-567-mr_angelo_openjaw.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “10 (Things That Made This The Worst Date Ever)”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/chas_lilly-10_things_that_made_this_the_worst_date_ever.mp3]

KYLIE PETTO

My name is Kylie, and I’m your everyday 17-year-old girl with a passion for music. I’ve been writing my own songs since I was ten years old, and nothing is more fun for me than to sit down with my guitar and unwind. I’d like to use Masters of Song Fu to really challenge myself, and hopefully grow as a musical artist.

Official Website: NONE
Twitter: twitter.com/KyliePetto

ROUND 1 SONG: “#141 Devil Anse Doubledirt”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/kylie_petto-141-devil-anse-doubledirt.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “8”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/kylie_petto-8.mp3]

ALEX TAYLOR

I am a young musician who plays trombone, guitar, ukulele, piano, melodica, and a little bit of harmonica. I play everything from rock songs with distortion pedals on ukulele, to rap medleys on piano, to sappy love songs and songs about the internet crashing on guitar. This is my first time in Song Fu.

Official Website: NONE

ROUND 1 SONG: “#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/alex_taylor-604-suction-cupped_jonny.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “i”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/alex_taylor-i.mp3]

GIFTED GEAR

I’m just a kid with a guitar. Sometimes I even play it.

Official Website: NONE

ROUND 1 SONG: “#580 Old Man Hades”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/gifted_gear-580-old_man_hades.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Eight”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/gifted_gear-eight.mp3]

SIMMBIOSIS

Simmbiosis – three part band. Defies the usual type or brand. A combo bred, in this strange head. The obscene voice the unseen hand. Terpsichore and muse imbued. Perverse perhaps a little rude. Music composed, a life exposed. Giving you all I can exude. Studio C where I compose. Club Bed where I take my repose. Iniquity, safe haven for me. The rest you’ll just have to suppose. To be among this crowd, auspicious. An honor bordering on delicious. Thanks to View Askew, I’ll whip out my Song Fu. And work not to be repetitious, repetitious, repetitious.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/simmbiosis

ROUND 1 SONG: “#646 Hydrostatic Charlie”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/simmbiosis-646-hydrostatic_charlie.mp3]
ROUND 2 SONG: “Sevenly – The Magnificent Seven”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/simmbiosis-sevenly_the_magnificent_seven.mp3]

DENISE HUDSON

Denise Hudson is doing Song Fu again because last time the contest gave her a rush that she’d never had before. She is thinking this contest will help her further her career in the frightening world, the scary internet (ack!), and in Austin – a city in which there are many Live Music Capitalists of the World. She’s hoping to avoid mixdown mixups, to master her mastering, and hopefully… not become a twittasaurus rex. She’d like to thank her friends – local, national, international, intergalactic, and those from the beyond. Peace, Love, and Grapenuts.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson

ROUND 2 SONG: “Four 5ths”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song2/denise_hudson-four_5ths.mp3]

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 2 songs, CLICK HERE.

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

ROUND 2 VOTING

And now, it’s time for the voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SUNDAY, DECEMBER 6th. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again. PLEASE NOTE: This voting system bases voting eligibility on your IP Address. If there are other computers on a home or business network that share the same IP address through a router, it may say you’ve already voted. Unfortunately, there is no way around this, and still be able to prevent ballot stuffing. It’s just the nature of the online voting beast.

ROUND 2 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

[poll id=”22″]

View Results

ROUND 1 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS RESULTS

[poll id=”21″]

View Results

If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

[ad#contestbox]

We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

Oh, and what do we call this competition?

MASTERS OF SONG FU

Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as your ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be your final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all of the Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

This is a bit of a fun one. Your first task is based upon the work of Friend-of-the-Stop John Hodgman – specifically, the “700 MOLE MEN” listed in his second book, More Information Than You Require. You’ll find the full list of “700 Mole Men” – and their descriptions – HERE. Your task is to choose one (1) and write a song about that Mole Man, based on the description provided by Hodgman. The title of your song will be the name of the Mole Man you’ve chosen, and its corresponding number on the list. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Challengers below, as well as the STILL ONGOING Round 1 voting (it ends on November 22nd, so be sure to vote!). More importantly, though, you’ll also discover what the Round 2 Challenge is!

THE CHALLENGERS

GOVERNING DYNAMICS

Governing Dynamics is the name of Travis Norris’s eternal sideproject, where all the stuff written by him goes when his current band (whatever it may be) refuses to play it. The music has been favorably compared to such bands as Eels, Radiohead, The White Stripes, and other bands that cool people like. It has been unfavorably compared to the tactics used by the FBI against the Branch Dividians at Waco. If he has to describe his music by genre (and refer to himself in third person) Travis calls it “alternative/shoegazer with a liberal dose of Midwestern rock”.
Official Website: governingdynamics.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/travisnorris
ROUND 1 SONG: “#288 Polly The Exhumer”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/governing_dynamics-288-polly_the_exhumer.mp3]

JASON MORRIS

I suppose I am what you could call a “Multi-Instrumentalist”. That is a nice way of saying “Jack-of-all-trades, Master-of-none”. I began playing drums as a teenager and spent a great deal of energy during my 20’s trying to “make it” in the music biz. As a drummer, I have had the opportunity to play with some pretty incredible musicians, garnering literally DOZENS of fans over the years. In 2004 I joined the band Celestial Static, and spent several years melting some face with good friends Jeremy and Julie Elzerman. Once that ran its course, I decided to spend more time locked away in my studio, writing my own songs and learning to play guitar, bass and sing. It doesn’t pay the bills, but I have a good time doing it.
Official Website: www.jason-morris.net
Twitter: twitter.com/JasonLMorris
ROUND 1 SONG: “#019 Thomas Ashley Innersun”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jason_morris-019-thomas_ashley_innersun.mp3]

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also – feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!
Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html
ROUND 1 SONG: “#138 Sir Isaac Quickmud”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/edric_haleen-138-sir_isaac_quickmud.mp3]

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. I write and record my songs solo, in my little make-shift studio, and when I play live, I often get some help from friends. Some of my music is funny, and some isn’t. More often than not, the humour is unintentional. My Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back again, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been described as a “Cajun Buddy Holly” and an “Optimistic Elvis Costello”. It’s been said that I sound like “That guy from the Barenaked Ladies” and a “Nasaly Bob Dylan”. One of these days, I hope to have a description that is accurate.
Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
ROUND 1 SONG: “#139 Mr. Genuine Hissfurther”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/buckethat_bobby_matheson-139-mr_genuine_hissfurther.mp3]

TYLER MASSEY

Tyler Massey is an uncomplicated person. He likes to sip Cristal and polish his yacht collection. He enjoys the simple things in life, like stepping on snails barefoot and nude origami. He wishes that he had a proper Hobo Name, and is open to suggestions.
Official Website: www.tylermassey.co.uk
Twitter: twitter.com/tylermassey
ROUND 1 SONG: “#429 Mr Roughfingers and his ‘Louse’-estra”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/tyler_massey-429-mr_roughfingers.mp3]

GODZ POODLZ

Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!
Official Website: www.myspace.com/godzpoodlz
ROUND 1 SONG: “#381 Captain Dane Frostline”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/godz_poodlz-381-captain_dane_frostline.mp3]

BRAM TANT

Bram Tant is a Belgian coputer science student with a distinct love for music. Ever since going to music school as a kid, he’s enjoyed singing and playing the guitar, and has been writing songs for some years now. While he’s still learning to play the guitar, sing and write songs better, he improves with each attempt, and he makes up for it (and the lack of proper recording equipment) with his passion and enthusiasm. He would like to become a professional musician someday, but for now he’s satisfied with writing and performing for friends, family, and strangers on the internet.
Official Website: studwww.ugent.be/~btant/

Twitter: twitter.com/dantesxx
ROUND 1 SONG: “#666 Tommy Dickfish”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/bram_tant-666-tommy_dickfish.mp3]

STEVE CHATTERTON

Hi, my name is Steve Chatterton, the quintessential one-man-band singer/songwriter net-based recording project. Mom always said I marched to the sound of a different drummer, but she never mentioned which one. Dad had a fondness for bagpipes. Fortunately, neither of them have any direct influence on my music. Specializing in quirky little guitar-oriented pop songs about bugs, the Scooby gang, pirates, palindromes, superheroes, old movies, infectious diseases, imaginary friends and sideshow freaks, I guess you could say I pretty much write love songs. I’m a cheesy bastard at heart. I’m a stay-at-home dad who’s looking to find more time in the studio when my youngest starts school in September. I have an ever-expanding back catalog (at least 3 albums worth & counting) I’m dying to share with the world one download at a time.
Official Website: www.stevechatterton.com
Twitter: twitter.com/SteveChatterton
ROUND 1 SONG: “#042 Miss Claudia Inward Burrowdown”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/steve_chatteron-042-miss_claudia_inward_burrowdown.mp3]

MANTICESS

Manitcess are Susanne Wolff (Lupa) on vocals and Johannes Schult (Jutze) on guitar. The duo plays melodic song somewhere between pop, folk and rock. Melodies are more important than trends. The band has already played various gigs in Germany and Switzerland and is eager to entertain – or better to enchant their audience with their musical tales.
Official Website: www.myspace.com/manticess
Twitter: twitter.com/schult
ROUND 1 SONG: “#423 Red”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/manticess-423-red.mp3]

JARRETT HEATHER

Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years. A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline. While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time.
Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net
Twitter: twitter.com/SpaceParanoids
ROUND 1 SONG: “#042 Miss Claudia Inward Burrowdown”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jarrett_heather-042-miss_claudia_inward_burrowdown.mp3]

AUDIOMOHEL

Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware.
Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
ROUND 1 SONG: “#471 Mr. Armskin”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/audiomohel-471-mr_armskin.mp3]

JALAPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.
Official Website: jalapenojabaneros.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jalapeno_habaneros-604-suction-cupped_jonny.mp3]

TIMOTHY RUSH

Hi, my name is Timothy. I like me. I like my school, I like my friends. I like to play the music. I very much enjoy the peoples. Thank you.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
Twitter: twitter.com/TimmyVendetta
ROUND 1 SONG: “#006 Sir Stinson Maggotwrangle”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/timothy_rush-006-sir_stinson_maggotwrangle.mp3]

JUBILEE JEWS

They are not some traveling country hillbilly act. They are celebrating the year of Jubilee in the form of ukulele based indie pop. They are Akiva Misto and Eliana Bartimeus and they are prepared to rock your yarmulkes!
Official Website: NONE
ROUND 1 SONG: “#487 Lady Antonia Oddpolyps”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jubilee_jews-487-lady_antonia_oddpolyps.mp3]

GORBZILLA

Gorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.
Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#414 Nick Nolte”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/gorbzilla-414-nick_nolte.mp3]

PETER BENEDICT

Peter is a person of sorts. Since his birth he has consistently occupied himself with a variety of time consuming and completely un-noteworthy activities. Despite this breadth of experience he remains untalented in the ways of writing all encompassing 600 word essays. He does, however, greatly enjoy the rare treat that is writing about oneself in the third person, especially when such a gift should be presented to him at the wonderful time of 4AM. Peter now supposes that since this a musical competition he is entering, he might want to include something about that in his bio. At the way too old age of 18, Peter first attempted to play music. His guitar teacher warned him that he was much to old to begin training, and that he would probably be an emotionally unstable musician that would eventually turn to the dark side. Peter took no heed to this warning, and indeed dropped out of guitar lessons fairly quickly, realizing that he enjoyed learning much more when done alone. In the year and a half since then, Peter has been on a steady rise and will no doubt be taking the musical world by storm in the coming year. Perhaps his greatest musical moment came in December of 2008, when his Christmas caroling band, The Sizzle, took his small hick town by storm with a door to door tour through the suburbs, melting the figurative face of listeners with a funk/rap cover of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. In 2009 Peter has become active in the youtube community, known not for his music but for his notorious use of stop-motion eating scenes and a DIY laugh track. Hoping to hone his barely existing musical skills through the pressure of competition, Peter joins Round 5 of Song Fu. He sincerely hopes that rewriting this bio at a later date will be an option. The Peter Is Competing.
Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/thepeteris
Twitter: twitter.com/thepeteris
ROUND 1 SONG: “#315 Mr. Dennimore Evercrouch”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/peter_benedict-315-mr_dennimore_evercrouch.mp3]

CRAIG RICHIE

At the ripe age of 19, this strapping young lad has been song writing for two years now. With his mates Meredith and Cornelius (guitar and ukulele, respectively), Craig Richie is prepared to join the ranks of the Song Fu warriors. Finding strong influences from former masters JoCo and Molly Lewis, as well as pinches of Kimya Dawson and Elvis Costello, this boy’s got a perspective on the world to share.
Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/craigtotherichie
ROUND 1 SONG: “#275 Mr. Owen Daylight”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/craig_richie-275-mr_owen_daylight.mp3]

JOSH HOLOBER-WARD

Josh was born in Canada, which probably explains more about him than anything else he could put in a bio. He plays the accordion, is self-taught on the piano, and highly enjoys playing and writing for both – though he rarely finishes anything without a deadline. With this grueling contest, he hopes to push himself to unleash the best Fu he possibly can… and hell, maybe even some he impossibly can. YARRR!
Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/PossessedRaccoon
ROUND 1 SONG: “#422 Mokey”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/josh_holober-ward-422-mokey.mp3]

AARON Z

Many folks say that Aaron Z is a pretty cool guy. He plays too many instruments, but mostly piano & guitar. He wastes too much of his free time writing and performing music, which has been known to make people laugh, tough men cry, and ladies melt in his arms. His current projects include Orange Box: The Musical! and A Tribute to the Letter E. He likes food cooked with mushrooms and his favorite ice-creams are vanilla-based, not chocolate-based. Check out his music, including his previously-weekly but now faux-weekly music project on his website, plus his other cool music.
Official Website: aaronz.bandcamp.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#590 Harvey Rupert Elder”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/aaron_z-590-harvey_rupert_elder.mp3]

SPENCER SOKOL

Spencer is trying to do things. Music is one of those things. It is painfully obvious to him, if not others, that he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. In the past he has been musically inclined with a guitar and occasionally with a piano. He is trying to be musically active once again, but this time he is attempting to do so while on the Internets. Creating music is a large part of his 40×40 list and he thinks this competition seems like “a Super Mega Happy Fun way” to rekindle his musical desires.
Official Website: www.spencersokol.com
Twitter: twitter.com/spencersokol
ROUND 1 SONG: “#298 Mr. Deadend”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/spencer_sokol-298-mr_deadend.mp3]

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)
Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant
ROUND 1 SONG: “#297 Mr. Tom Furby”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/joe_covenant_lamb-297-mr_tom_furby.mp3]

LEX VADER

Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.
Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
Twitter: twitter.com/LexVader
ROUND 1 SONG: “#153 Permanent Unsex”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/lex_vader-153-permanent_unsex.mp3]

CALEB HINES

Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders, baroque flute, ukulele, melodica, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, guitar. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.
Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com
Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines
ROUND 1 SONG: “#490 Mr. Nehemiah Bloodwormer”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/caleb_hines-490-mr_nehemiah_bloodwormer.mp3]

IAN “TWO SHADES” JOHNSON

Ian Johnson was born atop Mount Everest, was attacked by a troop of ninjas on his way out of the womb, then rode a grizzly bear down the mountain and punched Hitler’s ghost on the way down. Then he ate some mashed peas. Seriously though. Ian played piano for about six years before taking a break in music. Then he decided to play guitar, because as we all know, piano don’t get chicks. He started playing guitar about a year and a half ago. His music has been described (by himself) as garage-punk ska-esque acoustic altern-rock with just a little ukulele thrown in for good measure.
Official Website: ianjohnson.bandcamp.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#145 Mandibular-Jaw Johnny”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/ian_johnson-145-mandibular-jaw_johnny.mp3]

ZER0GUY

Sometimes two people get together who are destined to make history. Sometimes they are born into the same family. zer0guy is the musical/life-partnership of Jon and Dan Kelly, long time musicians looking forward to placing notes in your head.
Official Website: www.myspace.com/zer0guyband
ROUND 1 SONG: “#237 Dirtbag Dan”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/zer0guy-237-dirtbag_dan.mp3]

JONATHAN MANN

My current project is writing A Song a Day (Rock Cookie Bottom), and my former projects include The Last Nympho Leprechaun, a rock opera, The Mario Opera, a rock opera, GameJew, a web show, and The Mushroom Singdom, singing old school video game reviews.
Official Website: www.rockcookiebottom.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#612 Mr. Barry Screwskull”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jonathan_mann-612-mr_barry_screwskull.mp3]

SARA PARSONS

Sara Parsons is a twenty-year-old music composition student from northern California. She participated in Masters of Song Fu #4 and had a blast and met a ton of great people. She hopes she’s better at writing songs than she is at writing her own biography.
Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup
ROUND 1 SONG: “#573 Miss Miriam Poisonblisters”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/sara_parsons-573-miss_miriam_poisonblisters.mp3]

CHAS LILLY

Chas Lilly is a man that needs introduction. He is geeky but hopefully without being boring. He has been known to write songs about Pluto, Tim Allen, funerals, and everything in between. People often describe his music as “music”.
Official Website: www.youtube.com/friendswobenefits
Twitter: twitter.com/foldsaholic
ROUND 1 SONG: “#567 Mr. Angelo Openjaw”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/chas_lilly-567-mr_angelo_openjaw.mp3]

KYLIE PETTO

My name is Kylie, and I’m your everyday 17-year-old girl with a passion for music. I’ve been writing my own songs since I was ten years old, and nothing is more fun for me than to sit down with my guitar and unwind. I’d like to use Masters of Song Fu to really challenge myself, and hopefully grow as a musical artist.
Official Website: NONE
Twitter: twitter.com/KyliePetto
ROUND 1 SONG: “#141 Devil Anse Doubledirt”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/kylie_petto-141-devil-anse-doubledirt.mp3]

JEFF FARDINK

Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works. He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.
Official Website: www.JeffFardink.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#623 Jenna Frogtalker”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jeff_fardink-623-jenna_frogtalker.mp3]

ALEX TAYLOR

I am a young musician who plays trombone, guitar, ukulele, piano, melodica, and a little bit of harmonica. I play everything from rock songs with distortion pedals on ukulele, to rap medleys on piano, to sappy love songs and songs about the internet crashing on guitar. This is my first time in Song Fu.
Official Website: NONE
ROUND 1 SONG: “#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/alex_taylor-604-suction-cupped_jonny.mp3]

GIFTED GEAR

I’m just a kid with a guitar. Sometimes I even play it.
Official Website: NONE
ROUND 1 SONG: “#580 Old Man Hades”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/gifted_gear-580-old_man_hades.mp3]

BOB WESTFALL

Bob Westfall (guitar, mandolin, vocals, songwriting) has studied and worked with some of the top acoustic players in the country – Darol Anger, Mike Marshall, John Hartford, and Alex DeGrassi. But, while these influences are certainly evident, Westfall’s songwriting and lyrics are uniquely his own. An award-winning mandolinist, Bob grew up in Texas and Minnesota, and his style incorporates the best elements of composing with a hybrid jazz/pop/worldbeat/bluegrass feel.
Official Website: www.sonicbids.com/thebobwestfallband
ROUND 1 SONG: “#023 Miss Annabelle Tunnelsmell”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/bobby_westfall-023-miss_annabelle_tunnelsmell.mp3]

JUSTIN VEGA

Did you ever wonder what it would be like to mix Ravishing Rick Rude and the Beatles together? Me too. Man that would be awesome. Justin Vega is a songwriter/sort of singer from Las Vegas, NV. Justin Vega thinks writing in third person is awesome.
Official Website: NONE
ROUND 1 SONG: “#077 Dr. Hieronymous Sandpuppy”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/justin_vega-077-dr_hieronymous_sandpuppy.mp3]

SIMMBIOSIS

Simmbiosis – three part band. Defies the usual type or brand. A combo bred, in this strange head. The obscene voice the unseen hand. Terpsichore and muse imbued. Perverse perhaps a little rude. Music composed, a life exposed. Giving you all I can exude. Studio C where I compose. Club Bed where I take my repose. Iniquity, safe haven for me. The rest you’ll just have to suppose. To be among this crowd, auspicious. An honor bordering on delicious. Thanks to View Askew, I’ll whip out my Song Fu. And work not to be repetitious, repetitious, repetitious.
Official Website: www.myspace.com/simmbiosis
ROUND 1 SONG: “#646 Hydrostatic Charlie”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/simmbiosis-646-hydrostatic_charlie.mp3]

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a song about a number.

That’s right – a song about a number. It can be any number, and it can be describing or representing anything. The number you choose will be the title of your song. The song can be in any style you’d like. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ asitecalledfred.com – remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Sunday, November 29th, 2009.

Voting on Round 2 submissions will commence on Tuesday, December 1st, 2009.

If you want some inspiration, here’s a number song from Harry Nilsson…
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/harry_nilsson-one.mp3]

ROUND 1 VOTING

And now, it’s time for the voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 22nd. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again. PLEASE NOTE: This voting system bases voting eligibility on your IP Address. If there are other computers on a home or business network that share the same IP address through a router, it may say you’ve already voted. Unfortunately, there is no way around this, and still be able to prevent ballot stuffing. It’s just the nature of the online voting beast.

ROUND 1 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

[poll id=”21″]

View Results

If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

[ad#contestbox]

We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

Oh, and what do we call this competition?

MASTERS OF SONG FU

Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as your ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be your final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all of the Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

This is a bit of a fun one. Your first task is based upon the work of Friend-of-the-Stop John Hodgman – specifically, the “700 MOLE MEN” listed in his second book, More Information Than You Require. You’ll find the full list of “700 Mole Men” – and their descriptions – HERE. Your task is to choose one (1) and write a song about that Mole Man, based on the description provided by Hodgman. The title of your song will be the name of the Mole Man you’ve chosen, and its corresponding number on the list. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

THE CHALLENGERS

GOVERNING DYNAMICS

Governing Dynamics is the name of Travis Norris’s eternal sideproject, where all the stuff written by him goes when his current band (whatever it may be) refuses to play it. The music has been favorably compared to such bands as Eels, Radiohead, The White Stripes, and other bands that cool people like. It has been unfavorably compared to the tactics used by the FBI against the Branch Dividians at Waco. If he has to describe his music by genre (and refer to himself in third person) Travis calls it “alternative/shoegazer with a liberal dose of Midwestern rock”.
Official Website: governingdynamics.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/travisnorris
ROUND 1 SONG: “#288 Polly The Exhumer”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/governing_dynamics-288-polly_the_exhumer.mp3]

JASON MORRIS

I suppose I am what you could call a “Multi-Instrumentalist”. That is a nice way of saying “Jack-of-all-trades, Master-of-none”. I began playing drums as a teenager and spent a great deal of energy during my 20’s trying to “make it” in the music biz. As a drummer, I have had the opportunity to play with some pretty incredible musicians, garnering literally DOZENS of fans over the years. In 2004 I joined the band Celestial Static, and spent several years melting some face with good friends Jeremy and Julie Elzerman. Once that ran its course, I decided to spend more time locked away in my studio, writing my own songs and learning to play guitar, bass and sing. It doesn’t pay the bills, but I have a good time doing it.
Official Website: www.jason-morris.net
Twitter: twitter.com/JasonLMorris
ROUND 1 SONG: “#019 Thomas Ashley Innersun”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jason_morris-019-thomas_ashley_innersun.mp3]

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also – feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!
Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html
ROUND 1 SONG: “#138 Sir Isaac Quickmud”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/edric_haleen-138-sir_isaac_quickmud.mp3]

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. I write and record my songs solo, in my little make-shift studio, and when I play live, I often get some help from friends. Some of my music is funny, and some isn’t. More often than not, the humour is unintentional. My Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back again, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been described as a “Cajun Buddy Holly” and an “Optimistic Elvis Costello”. It’s been said that I sound like “That guy from the Barenaked Ladies” and a “Nasaly Bob Dylan”. One of these days, I hope to have a description that is accurate.
Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
ROUND 1 SONG: “#139 Mr. Genuine Hissfurther”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/buckethat_bobby_matheson-139-mr_genuine_hissfurther.mp3]

TYLER MASSEY

Tyler Massey is an uncomplicated person. He likes to sip Cristal and polish his yacht collection. He enjoys the simple things in life, like stepping on snails barefoot and nude origami. He wishes that he had a proper Hobo Name, and is open to suggestions.
Official Website: www.tylermassey.co.uk
Twitter: twitter.com/tylermassey
ROUND 1 SONG: “#429 Mr Roughfingers and his ‘Louse’-estra”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/tyler_massey-429-mr_roughfingers.mp3]

GODZ POODLZ

Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!
Official Website: www.myspace.com/godzpoodlz
ROUND 1 SONG: “#381 Captain Dane Frostline”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/godz_poodlz-381-captain_dane_frostline.mp3]

BRAM TANT

Bram Tant is a Belgian coputer science student with a distinct love for music. Ever since going to music school as a kid, he’s enjoyed singing and playing the guitar, and has been writing songs for some years now. While he’s still learning to play the guitar, sing and write songs better, he improves with each attempt, and he makes up for it (and the lack of proper recording equipment) with his passion and enthusiasm. He would like to become a professional musician someday, but for now he’s satisfied with writing and performing for friends, family, and strangers on the internet.
Official Website: studwww.ugent.be/~btant/

Twitter: twitter.com/dantesxx
ROUND 1 SONG: “#666 Tommy Dickfish”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/bram_tant-666-tommy_dickfish.mp3]

STEVE CHATTERTON

Hi, my name is Steve Chatterton, the quintessential one-man-band singer/songwriter net-based recording project. Mom always said I marched to the sound of a different drummer, but she never mentioned which one. Dad had a fondness for bagpipes. Fortunately, neither of them have any direct influence on my music. Specializing in quirky little guitar-oriented pop songs about bugs, the Scooby gang, pirates, palindromes, superheroes, old movies, infectious diseases, imaginary friends and sideshow freaks, I guess you could say I pretty much write love songs. I’m a cheesy bastard at heart. I’m a stay-at-home dad who’s looking to find more time in the studio when my youngest starts school in September. I have an ever-expanding back catalog (at least 3 albums worth & counting) I’m dying to share with the world one download at a time.
Official Website: www.stevechatterton.com
Twitter: twitter.com/SteveChatterton
ROUND 1 SONG: “#042 Miss Claudia Inward Burrowdown”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/steve_chatteron-042-miss_claudia_inward_burrowdown.mp3]

MANTICESS

Manitcess are Susanne Wolff (Lupa) on vocals and Johannes Schult (Jutze) on guitar. The duo plays melodic song somewhere between pop, folk and rock. Melodies are more important than trends. The band has already played various gigs in Germany and Switzerland and is eager to entertain – or better to enchant their audience with their musical tales.
Official Website: www.myspace.com/manticess
Twitter: twitter.com/schult
ROUND 1 SONG: “#423 Red”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/manticess-423-red.mp3]

JARRETT HEATHER

Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years. A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline. While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time.
Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net
Twitter: twitter.com/SpaceParanoids
ROUND 1 SONG: “#042 Miss Claudia Inward Burrowdown”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jarrett_heather-042-miss_claudia_inward_burrowdown.mp3]

AUDIOMOHEL

Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware.
Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
ROUND 1 SONG: “#471 Mr. Armskin”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/audiomohel-471-mr_armskin.mp3]

JALAPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.
Official Website: jalapenojabaneros.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jalapeno_habaneros-604-suction-cupped_jonny.mp3]

TIMOTHY RUSH

Hi, my name is Timothy. I like me. I like my school, I like my friends. I like to play the music. I very much enjoy the peoples. Thank you.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
Twitter: twitter.com/TimmyVendetta
ROUND 1 SONG: “#006 Sir Stinson Maggotwrangle”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/timothy_rush-006-sir_stinson_maggotwrangle.mp3]

JUBILEE JEWS

They are not some traveling country hillbilly act. They are celebrating the year of Jubilee in the form of ukulele based indie pop. They are Akiva Misto and Eliana Bartimeus and they are prepared to rock your yarmulkes!
Official Website: NONE
ROUND 1 SONG: “#487 Lady Antonia Oddpolyps”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jubilee_jews-487-lady_antonia_oddpolyps.mp3]

GORBZILLA

Gorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.
Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#414 Nick Nolte”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/gorbzilla-414-nick_nolte.mp3]

PETER BENEDICT

Peter is a person of sorts. Since his birth he has consistently occupied himself with a variety of time consuming and completely un-noteworthy activities. Despite this breadth of experience he remains untalented in the ways of writing all encompassing 600 word essays. He does, however, greatly enjoy the rare treat that is writing about oneself in the third person, especially when such a gift should be presented to him at the wonderful time of 4AM. Peter now supposes that since this a musical competition he is entering, he might want to include something about that in his bio. At the way too old age of 18, Peter first attempted to play music. His guitar teacher warned him that he was much to old to begin training, and that he would probably be an emotionally unstable musician that would eventually turn to the dark side. Peter took no heed to this warning, and indeed dropped out of guitar lessons fairly quickly, realizing that he enjoyed learning much more when done alone. In the year and a half since then, Peter has been on a steady rise and will no doubt be taking the musical world by storm in the coming year. Perhaps his greatest musical moment came in December of 2008, when his Christmas caroling band, The Sizzle, took his small hick town by storm with a door to door tour through the suburbs, melting the figurative face of listeners with a funk/rap cover of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. In 2009 Peter has become active in the youtube community, known not for his music but for his notorious use of stop-motion eating scenes and a DIY laugh track. Hoping to hone his barely existing musical skills through the pressure of competition, Peter joins Round 5 of Song Fu. He sincerely hopes that rewriting this bio at a later date will be an option. The Peter Is Competing.
Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/thepeteris
Twitter: twitter.com/thepeteris
ROUND 1 SONG: “#315 Mr. Dennimore Evercrouch”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/peter_benedict-315-mr_dennimore_evercrouch.mp3]

CRAIG RICHIE

At the ripe age of 19, this strapping young lad has been song writing for two years now. With his mates Meredith and Cornelius (guitar and ukulele, respectively), Craig Richie is prepared to join the ranks of the Song Fu warriors. Finding strong influences from former masters JoCo and Molly Lewis, as well as pinches of Kimya Dawson and Elvis Costello, this boy’s got a perspective on the world to share.
Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/craigtotherichie
ROUND 1 SONG: “#275 Mr. Owen Daylight”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/craig_richie-275-mr_owen_daylight.mp3]

JOSH HOLOBER-WARD

Josh was born in Canada, which probably explains more about him than anything else he could put in a bio. He plays the accordion, is self-taught on the piano, and highly enjoys playing and writing for both – though he rarely finishes anything without a deadline. With this grueling contest, he hopes to push himself to unleash the best Fu he possibly can… and hell, maybe even some he impossibly can. YARRR!
Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/PossessedRaccoon
ROUND 1 SONG: “#422 Mokey”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/josh_holober-ward-422-mokey.mp3]

AARON Z

Many folks say that Aaron Z is a pretty cool guy. He plays too many instruments, but mostly piano & guitar. He wastes too much of his free time writing and performing music, which has been known to make people laugh, tough men cry, and ladies melt in his arms. His current projects include Orange Box: The Musical! and A Tribute to the Letter E. He likes food cooked with mushrooms and his favorite ice-creams are vanilla-based, not chocolate-based. Check out his music, including his previously-weekly but now faux-weekly music project on his website, plus his other cool music.
Official Website: aaronz.bandcamp.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#590 Harvey Rupert Elder”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/aaron_z-590-harvey_rupert_elder.mp3]

SPENCER SOKOL

Spencer is trying to do things. Music is one of those things. It is painfully obvious to him, if not others, that he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. In the past he has been musically inclined with a guitar and occasionally with a piano. He is trying to be musically active once again, but this time he is attempting to do so while on the Internets. Creating music is a large part of his 40×40 list and he thinks this competition seems like “a Super Mega Happy Fun way” to rekindle his musical desires.
Official Website: www.spencersokol.com
Twitter: twitter.com/spencersokol
ROUND 1 SONG: “#298 Mr. Deadend”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/spencer_sokol-298-mr_deadend.mp3]

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)
Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant
ROUND 1 SONG: “#297 Mr. Tom Furby”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/joe_covenant_lamb-297-mr_tom_furby.mp3]

LEX VADER

Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.
Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
Twitter: twitter.com/LexVader
ROUND 1 SONG: “#153 Permanent Unsex”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/lex_vader-153-permanent_unsex.mp3]

CALEB HINES

Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders, baroque flute, ukulele, melodica, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, guitar. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.
Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com
Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines
ROUND 1 SONG: “#490 Mr. Nehemiah Bloodwormer”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/caleb_hines-490-mr_nehemiah_bloodwormer.mp3]

IAN “TWO SHADES” JOHNSON

Ian Johnson was born atop Mount Everest, was attacked by a troop of ninjas on his way out of the womb, then rode a grizzly bear down the mountain and punched Hitler’s ghost on the way down. Then he ate some mashed peas. Seriously though. Ian played piano for about six years before taking a break in music. Then he decided to play guitar, because as we all know, piano don’t get chicks. He started playing guitar about a year and a half ago. His music has been described (by himself) as garage-punk ska-esque acoustic altern-rock with just a little ukulele thrown in for good measure.
Official Website: ianjohnson.bandcamp.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#145 Mandibular-Jaw Johnny”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/ian_johnson-145-mandibular-jaw_johnny.mp3]

ZER0GUY

Sometimes two people get together who are destined to make history. Sometimes they are born into the same family. zer0guy is the musical/life-partnership of Jon and Dan Kelly, long time musicians looking forward to placing notes in your head.
Official Website: www.myspace.com/zer0guyband
ROUND 1 SONG: “#237 Dirtbag Dan”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/zer0guy-237-dirtbag_dan.mp3]

JONATHAN MANN

My current project is writing A Song a Day (Rock Cookie Bottom), and my former projects include The Last Nympho Leprechaun, a rock opera, The Mario Opera, a rock opera, GameJew, a web show, and The Mushroom Singdom, singing old school video game reviews.
Official Website: www.rockcookiebottom.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#612 Mr. Barry Screwskull”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jonathan_mann-612-mr_barry_screwskull.mp3]

SARA PARSONS

Sara Parsons is a twenty-year-old music composition student from northern California. She participated in Masters of Song Fu #4 and had a blast and met a ton of great people. She hopes she’s better at writing songs than she is at writing her own biography.
Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup
ROUND 1 SONG: “#573 Miss Miriam Poisonblisters”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/sara_parsons-573-miss_miriam_poisonblisters.mp3]

CHAS LILLY

Chas Lilly is a man that needs introduction. He is geeky but hopefully without being boring. He has been known to write songs about Pluto, Tim Allen, funerals, and everything in between. People often describe his music as “music”.
Official Website: www.youtube.com/friendswobenefits
Twitter: twitter.com/foldsaholic
ROUND 1 SONG: “#567 Mr. Angelo Openjaw”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/chas_lilly-567-mr_angelo_openjaw.mp3]

KYLIE PETTO

My name is Kylie, and I’m your everyday 17-year-old girl with a passion for music. I’ve been writing my own songs since I was ten years old, and nothing is more fun for me than to sit down with my guitar and unwind. I’d like to use Masters of Song Fu to really challenge myself, and hopefully grow as a musical artist.
Official Website: NONE
Twitter: twitter.com/KyliePetto
ROUND 1 SONG: “#141 Devil Anse Doubledirt”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/kylie_petto-141-devil-anse-doubledirt.mp3]

JEFF FARDINK

Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works. He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.
Official Website: www.JeffFardink.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#623 Jenna Frogtalker”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/jeff_fardink-623-jenna_frogtalker.mp3]

ALEX TAYLOR

I am a young musician who plays trombone, guitar, ukulele, piano, melodica, and a little bit of harmonica. I play everything from rock songs with distortion pedals on ukulele, to rap medleys on piano, to sappy love songs and songs about the internet crashing on guitar. This is my first time in Song Fu.
Official Website: NONE
ROUND 1 SONG: “#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/alex_taylor-604-suction-cupped_jonny.mp3]

GIFTED GEAR

I’m just a kid with a guitar. Sometimes I even play it.
Official Website: NONE
ROUND 1 SONG: “#580 Old Man Hades”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/gifted_gear-580-old_man_hades.mp3]

BOB WESTFALL

Bob Westfall (guitar, mandolin, vocals, songwriting) has studied and worked with some of the top acoustic players in the country – Darol Anger, Mike Marshall, John Hartford, and Alex DeGrassi. But, while these influences are certainly evident, Westfall’s songwriting and lyrics are uniquely his own. An award-winning mandolinist, Bob grew up in Texas and Minnesota, and his style incorporates the best elements of composing with a hybrid jazz/pop/worldbeat/bluegrass feel.
Official Website: www.sonicbids.com/thebobwestfallband
ROUND 1 SONG: “#023 Miss Annabelle Tunnelsmell”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/bobby_westfall-023-miss_annabelle_tunnelsmell.mp3]

JUSTIN VEGA

Did you ever wonder what it would be like to mix Ravishing Rick Rude and the Beatles together? Me too. Man that would be awesome. Justin Vega is a songwriter/sort of singer from Las Vegas, NV. Justin Vega thinks writing in third person is awesome.
Official Website: NONE
ROUND 1 SONG: “#077 Dr. Hieronymous Sandpuppy”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/justin_vega-077-dr_hieronymous_sandpuppy.mp3]

SIMMBIOSIS

Simmbiosis – three part band. Defies the usual type or brand. A combo bred, in this strange head. The obscene voice the unseen hand. Terpsichore and muse imbued. Perverse perhaps a little rude. Music composed, a life exposed. Giving you all I can exude. Studio C where I compose. Club Bed where I take my repose. Iniquity, safe haven for me. The rest you’ll just have to suppose. To be among this crowd, auspicious. An honor bordering on delicious. Thanks to View Askew, I’ll whip out my Song Fu. And work not to be repetitious, repetitious, repetitious.
Official Website: www.myspace.com/simmbiosis
ROUND 1 SONG: “#646 Hydrostatic Charlie”
[audio:http://asitecalledfred.com/songfu/05song1/simmbiosis-646-hydrostatic_charlie.mp3]

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

ROUND 1 VOTING

And now, it’s time for that all important voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 22nd. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again. PLEASE NOTE: This voting system bases voting eligibility on your IP Address. If there are other computers on a home or business network that share the same IP address through a router, it may say you’ve already voted. Unfortunately, there is no way around this, and still be able to prevent ballot stuffing. It’s just the nature of the online voting beast.

ROUND 1 VOTING – THE CHALLENGERS

[poll id=”21″]

View Results

If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

[ad#contestbox]

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO & VOTE FOR ROUND 1 ENTRIES

We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs – however they see fit, within the parameters set forth – after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

Oh, and what do we call this competition?

MASTERS OF SONG FU

Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu – one of which will be revealed as your ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be your final Challenge – or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all of the Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

In a moment, you’ll discover the details of the first challenge. First, though, here’s the list of challengers:

THE CHALLENGERS

GOVERNING DYNAMICS

Governing Dynamics is the name of Travis Norris’s eternal sideproject, where all the stuff written by him goes when his current band (whatever it may be) refuses to play it. The music has been favorably compared to such bands as Eels, Radiohead, The White Stripes, and other bands that cool people like. It has been unfavorably compared to the tactics used by the FBI against the Branch Dividians at Waco. If he has to describe his music by genre (and refer to himself in third person) Travis calls it “alternative/shoegazer with a liberal dose of Midwestern rock”.

Official Website: governingdynamics.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/travisnorris

JASON MORRIS

I suppose I am what you could call a “Multi-Instrumentalist”. That is a nice way of saying “Jack-of-all-trades, Master-of-none”. I began playing drums as a teenager and spent a great deal of energy during my 20’s trying to “make it” in the music biz. As a drummer, I have had the opportunity to play with some pretty incredible musicians, garnering literally DOZENS of fans over the years. In 2004 I joined the band Celestial Static, and spent several years melting some face with good friends Jeremy and Julie Elzerman. Once that ran its course, I decided to spend more time locked away in my studio, writing my own songs and learning to play guitar, bass and sing. It doesn’t pay the bills, but I have a good time doing it.

Official Website: www.jason-morris.com
Twitter: twitter.com/JasonLMorris

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends – some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also – feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!

Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. I write and record my songs solo, in my little make-shift studio, and when I play live, I often get some help from friends. Some of my music is funny, and some isn’t. More often than not, the humour is unintentional. My Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back again, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been described as a “Cajun Buddy Holly” and an “Optimistic Elvis Costello”. It’s been said that I sound like “That guy from the Barenaked Ladies” and a “Nasaly Bob Dylan”. One of these days, I hope to have a description that is accurate.

Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby

TYLER MASSEY

Tyler Massey is an uncomplicated person. He likes to sip Cristal and polish his yacht collection. He enjoys the simple things in life, like stepping on snails barefoot and nude origami. He wishes that he had a proper Hobo Name, and is open to suggestions.

Official Website: www.tylermassey.co.uk
Twitter: twitter.com/tylermassey

GODZ POODLZ

Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!

Official Website: www.myspace.com/godzpoodlz

BRAM TANT

Bram Tant is a Belgian coputer science student with a distinct love for music. Ever since going to music school as a kid, he’s enjoyed singing and playing the guitar, and has been writing songs for some years now. While he’s still learning to play the guitar, sing and write songs better, he improves with each attempt, and he makes up for it (and the lack of proper recording equipment) with his passion and enthusiasm. He would like to become a professional musician someday, but for now he’s satisfied with writing and performing for friends, family, and strangers on the internet.

Official Website: studwww.ugent.be/~btant/

Twitter: twitter.com/dantesxx

STEVE CHATTERTON

Hi, my name is Steve Chatterton, the quintessential one-man-band singer/songwriter net-based recording project. Mom always said I marched to the sound of a different drummer, but she never mentioned which one. Dad had a fondness for bagpipes. Fortunately, neither of them have any direct influence on my music. Specializing in quirky little guitar-oriented pop songs about bugs, the Scooby gang, pirates, palindromes, superheroes, old movies, infectious diseases, imaginary friends and sideshow freaks, I guess you could say I pretty much write love songs. I’m a cheesy bastard at heart. I’m a stay-at-home dad who’s looking to find more time in the studio when my youngest starts school in September. I have an ever-expanding back catalog (at least 3 albums worth & counting) I’m dying to share with the world one download at a time.

Official Website: www.stevechatterton.com
Twitter: twitter.com/SteveChatterton

MANTICESS

Manitcess are Susanne Wolff (Lupa) on vocals and Johannes Schult (Jutze) on guitar. The duo plays melodic song somewhere between pop, folk and rock. Melodies are more important than trends. The band has already played various gigs in Germany and Switzerland and is eager to entertain – or better to enchant their audience with their musical tales.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/manticess
Twitter: twitter.com/schult

JARRETT HEATHER

Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years. A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline. While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time.

Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net
Twitter: twitter.com/SpaceParanoids

AUDIOMOHEL

Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ’09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware.

Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel

JALEPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.

Official Website: jalapenojabaneros.blogspot.com

TIMOTHY RUSH

Hi, my name is Timothy. I like me. I like my school, I like my friends. I like to play the music. I very much enjoy the peoples. Thank you.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
Twitter: twitter.com/TimmyVendetta

JUBILEE JEWS

They are not some traveling country hillbilly act. They are celebrating the year of Jubilee in the form of ukulele based indie pop. They are Akiva Misto and Eliana Bartimeus and they are prepared to rock your yarmulkes!

Official Website: NONE

GORBZILLA

Gorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer ““ Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.

Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com

PETER BENEDICT

Peter is a person of sorts. Since his birth he has consistently occupied himself with a variety of time consuming and completely un-noteworthy activities. Despite this breadth of experience he remains untalented in the ways of writing all encompassing 600 word essays. He does, however, greatly enjoy the rare treat that is writing about oneself in the third person, especially when such a gift should be presented to him at the wonderful time of 4AM. Peter now supposes that since this a musical competition he is entering, he might want to include something about that in his bio. At the way too old age of 18, Peter first attempted to play music. His guitar teacher warned him that he was much to old to begin training, and that he would probably be an emotionally unstable musician that would eventually turn to the dark side. Peter took no heed to this warning, and indeed dropped out of guitar lessons fairly quickly, realizing that he enjoyed learning much more when done alone. In the year and a half since then, Peter has been on a steady rise and will no doubt be taking the musical world by storm in the coming year. Perhaps his greatest musical moment came in December of 2008, when his Christmas caroling band, The Sizzle, took his small hick town by storm with a door to door tour through the suburbs, melting the figurative face of listeners with a funk/rap cover of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. In 2009 Peter has become active in the youtube community, known not for his music but for his notorious use of stop-motion eating scenes and a DIY laugh track. Hoping to hone his barely existing musical skills through the pressure of competition, Peter joins Round 5 of Song Fu. He sincerely hopes that rewriting this bio at a later date will be an option. The Peter Is Competing.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/thepeteris
Twitter: twitter.com/thepeteris

CRAIG RICHIE

At the ripe age of 19, this strapping young lad has been song writing for two years now. With his mates Meredith and Cornelius (guitar and ukulele, respectively), Craig Richie is prepared to join the ranks of the Song Fu warriors. Finding strong influences from former masters JoCo and Molly Lewis, as well as pinches of Kimya Dawson and Elvis Costello, this boy’s got a perspective on the world to share.

Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/craigtotherichie

JOSH HOLOBER-WARD

Josh was born in Canada, which probably explains more about him than anything else he could put in a bio. He plays the accordion, is self-taught on the piano, and highly enjoys playing and writing for both – though he rarely finishes anything without a deadline. With this grueling contest, he hopes to push himself to unleash the best Fu he possibly can… and hell, maybe even some he impossibly can. YARRR!

Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/PossessedRaccoon

AARON Z

Many folks say that Aaron Z is a pretty cool guy. He plays too many instruments, but mostly piano & guitar. He wastes too much of his free time writing and performing music, which has been known to make people laugh, tough men cry, and ladies melt in his arms. His current projects include Orange Box: The Musical! and A Tribute to the Letter E. He likes food cooked with mushrooms and his favorite ice-creams are vanilla-based, not chocolate-based. Check out his music, including his previously-weekly but now faux-weekly music project on his website, plus his other cool music.

Official Website: aaronz.bandcamp.com

SPENCER SOKOL

Spencer is trying to do things. Music is one of those things. It is painfully obvious to him, if not others, that he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. In the past he has been musically inclined with a guitar and occasionally with a piano. He is trying to be musically active once again, but this time he is attempting to do so while on the Internets. Creating music is a large part of his 40×40 list and he thinks this competition seems like “a Super Mega Happy Fun way” to rekindle his musical desires.

Official Website: www.spencersokol.com
Twitter: twitter.com/spencersokol

DENISE HUDSON

Denise Hudson is doing Song Fu again because last time the contest gave her a rush that she’d never had before. She is thinking this contest will help her further her career in the frightening world, the scary internet (ack!), and in Austin – a city in which there are many Live Music Capitalists of the World. She’s hoping to avoid mixdown mixups, to master her mastering, and hopefully… not become a twittasaurus rex. She’d like to thank her friends – local, national, international, intergalactic, and those from the beyond. Peace, Love, and Grapenuts.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/denisehudson

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)

Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant

LEX VADER

Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.

Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
Twitter: twitter.com/LexVader