PLUME: What is your dream project?

THOMAS: I’m working on it right now. It’s an Internet project. I’m working on a comedy content site, and if I get it anywhere near what I want it to be, it’ll be what I want to do more than anything.

PLUME: With hands-on, direct involvement?

THOMAS: Absolutely. I would be doing nothing else but that. I’m trying to raise funding right now. I’m after a bunch of Angels and venture capital guys. I’ve been thoroughly introduced into the Silicon Valley world of investment : First Round, Second Round, Third Round Financing, Angel Investors and what they want and what they’re looking for. I’m quite well-versed and sad that I don’t have some sort of proprietary technology that I can offer instead of content, because that’s what they’d invest in in a second. They’re much more interested in technology. It’s like they’d rather invest in some bogus media player that they know is going to be a dinosaur in two weeks, than something that actually. I mean, Lorne Michaels has proved with his movies that you can create things on one site and sell them to another site. It’s clear that there’s something to do there, and I’ve run these – and you know, from talking to me – rooms full of writers so often that that’s my dream job. That’s my favorite job of all – a room full of writers creating comedy content – so that’s what I’m working on.

PLUME: I think it’s easier to fudge technology than it is to fudge content. Content – it either works or it doesn’t, Technology – you can lead somebody down a path for years of development and then eventually they’ll learn whether it works or not.

THOMAS: I’ll tell you where I’m going to get the technology for my site, too. I’m going to hire those porn guys. They are the guys who can get it up faster than anybody. You don’t sit around waiting for stuff to download with porn, that stuff is up and on. “What? You don’t have a media player? Ours will load in one minute.” You know what I mean? The idea is that they want to get it up before your eyes and off before your wife comes in. That’s where I’m going to go to get my tech guys. I want to get the guys who design the technology for that to design the technology for mine.

PLUME: What the mainstream is looking for in those long load times is more eyeball time for the ads they put up there while you’re loading.

THOMAS: That’s true, and ads that take a long time to load because they’ve got some cheesy animation that you don’t even want to see anyway.

PLUME: Did you ever in your life believe that there would be an action figure of one of your characters?

THOMAS: No. No. I mean, I never thought like that. I wasn’t even aware of action figures until I had kids, and then it was the traditional super heroes. Since I’m a comedian, I’ve never played a superhero, so I honestly couldn’t see that there would ever be an action figure. So when McFarlane said he was going to do the Bob & Doug figures, I was very surprised.

PLUME: I hear there’s quite a preorder buzz about them.

THOMAS: Really? See, there’s another strong signal for the movie that would make it clear that the movie has some legs.

PLUME: Finally, when you look back on your career, what is the first thing that comes to mind?

THOMAS: Oh my god. Well, you know, probably the quickest image was – I remember, when I was a kid, seeing Bob Hope live in Toronto and thinking, “Wow. I’d really like to do what he does.” Specifically, since I’m watching this show, I’d like to do it with him. Cut to years later, where first I’m impersonating Hope on SCTV, but then I’m on shows with Hope and at his house and playing golf with him, talking to him. It makes me laugh. I have a great interview with him from Entertainment Tonight of just me and Hope sitting and talking for half-an-hour. This would be about ’96 I think. He’s older but he’s still sharp. A little hard of hearing but sharp.

PLUME: Was it a bit existential?

THOMAS: Yeah. Absolutely. The interviewer asked me to do Bob for Bob, and I said, “This is really weird doing Bob with him sitting right here.” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know. I think you could handle it.” I think that’s one of the things that’s really amazing about this country, is that you can be a kid outside the candy store, looking in going, “Gee I wish I could get that.” And if you want it bad enough and try hard enough, you can get it. You can make your dreams come true. I’m not saying that my only dream was to work with Bob Hope or impersonate Bob Hope, but, you know, I wanted to be in show business and I wanted to do the stuff that I’m doing now – and exactly the way I’m doing it – which is I write something and I think it’s funny and then I go out and try to sell it and then I do it. It either succeeds or it doesn’t, but it’s something I did. It’s not just me reading other people’s lines and being a drone. I don’t want to be a drone. I like writing my own stuff. The idea that I could realize some of those things. I was at Hope’s 90th birthday party. I’m there with, like, Walter Cronkite, who I also impersonated, and all these generals and showbiz luminaries, and there’s me with my wife going, “What the hell am I doing here? Shouldn’t they send me back to Canada? Honey, don’t tell them. I don’t want them to send me back.” It’s with a certain sense of wonder that if you ended up doing what you want to do, that you have to keep pinching yourself every once in awhile and go, “Wow, this is really cool.” There have been low times, like where I direct The Experts and the studio decides not to release it or when I do my summer series for CBS and they decide not to pick it up. Yeah, those are low spots – there’s no denying that – but the reality of it is that I always remind myself in these moments that, “Yeah right, so they didn’t fund another year of your wacky comedy Boo hoo. Get a grip, get back on it, and have some fun.”

10 QUESTIONS

1. What is your favorite piece of music?
Sinatra sings Jobim – specifically “Give the Flower Water To Drink”.

2. What is your favorite film?
Terminator 2. Like his Aliens, the sequel surpassed the original.

3. What is your favorite TV program, past or current?
It’s a tie between The Simpsons and the old Star Trek: TNG series. I think they are the best written shows on television.

4. What do you feel has been your most important professional accomplishment to date?
I haven’t done that yet.

5. Which project do you feel didn’t live up to what you envisioned?
None of my projects lived up to what I envisioned.

6. What is your favorite book?
What Dreams May Come by Richard Matheson – ruined as a movie, but still very solid in the out-of-print tome that I own.

7. If you could change one thing about Hollywood, what would it be?
I would move all the studios and networks closer to my house so I wouldn’t have to drive so far.

8. If you could change one public perception of yourself, what would it be?
That I am not, nor was I ever, the owner of Wendy’s Restaurants.

9. What is your next project?
I am writing a screenplay for a studio TBA this month.

10. What is the one project that you’ve always wanted to do, but have yet to be able to?
Blackworld – where a White House junior staffer digs up the biggest conspiracy of all time.

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