Y’know what sucks? When you go to play a PSP game, only to find that the battery is dead. Then, even worse, you go to charge it, keeping it plugged in for about an hour or so, only to have it STILL not work. Apparently, the battery in my PSP no longer holds a charge. This sucks. So, there I was, with my portable gaming system, playing with it STILL plugged into the wall, making it highly less portable. Ah well, least the game was good. Let’s get one with this week’s reviews.

ROWS OF HOES

The sandbox genre is becoming a very popular style of gameplay nowadays, made famous of course by the free-roaming, do-anything GRAND THEFT AUTO series. Now, yet another young upstart is staking it’s claim to the open world genre, and it takes some big cues from the GTA series. Hell, more than cues, it outright copies many things flat out. I’m speaking of course of SAINTS ROW, the suped-up, next-gen heir to the throne of all things thugish AND rugish.

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Rockstar must be blushing to beat the band. SAINTS ROW doesn’t even try to hide the fact that its inspiration comes from GTA’s most recent iteration, SAN ANDREAS, with it’s full on thug-culture and hip-hop heavy soundtrack. The gangsta lifestyle is in full effect here, and just as with SAN ANDREAS, it’s, yes, fun to play. Stealing cars, pimpin’ hoes, shooting rival gangs…yes, the game is violent, it’s unethical, and well…it’s just what you’d expect of a game that emulates GTA in every aspect.

It isn’t totally outright a copy though. No, there are actually some aspects of the series that it improves on. The targeting, for one, is much easier to handle in SAINTS ROW. Using an FPS style rather than GTA’s irritating lock-on system, you’ll be poppin’ caps in fools in no time. The driving also seems refined, and cars handle with accuracy and each drives differently than the last.

There’s some fairly deep customization here, too. Right from the start you can make your character look however you want, changing his face contours, race, hairstyle, whatever. Don’t like how your character looks midway through the game? Well, just take him to the local plastic surgeon. Hell, that even helps lower your notoriety with the local police and rival gangs! You can also outfit your character with clothing, bling and other accoutrements at the various shops around town, as pimp your ride too, with various body kits, paint jobs and rims.

The main story has you joining up with the 3rd Street Saints as they try to take back the row from three rival gangs. As you progress through the story missions, you must gain respect in order to go from mission to mission, which you do by taking out rival gang members or doing side activities. Some of these side activities are familiar, such as Hijacking and Mayhem, but there’re a few new ones for the genre, such as Insurance Fraud and the Escort missions. For Insurance Fraud, you basically go to a busy intersection in town and fall down in front of cars, collecting money if they hit you. The bigger the dive you take, the more you rake in. Escort missions have you driving a stripper and her client around town, avoiding the paparazzi so they can finish up their “business”. There’re a wide variety of things to do around town.

The main thing that will separate SAINTS ROW from GTA (until the next-gen version comes out next year that is), however, is its online game. SAINTS ROW boasts a robust variety of multiplayer games, from standard co-op to cool multiplayer missions such as “Protect The Pimp”, and “Drop the Chains”. In “Protect the Pimp”, two teams compete. One has the “pimp” and must protect him from the other team as they attempt to cross-town. Simple enough, except that the pimp has reduced health, but a single hit-kill “pimp hand” attack. “Drop the Chains” has teams collecting bling and dropping it off in certain areas for rewards. Carry more than four chains, and you show up on the radar to be taken out. There’s so much to do online that most players will find themselves whiling away the hours in online matches once they finish the game’s already deep 40-hour single player mode.

It may not be the most original game, but it certainly is a shitload of fun. And while it pushes the envelope in ways that GTA hasn’t (there seems to be an over abundance of the word “cock” that I have yet to see it’s equal in gaming) it certainly shows where it comes from. And while it’s pretty and controls well in high definition, there still remains the problematic pop-up of draw distance, but I guess we’re sued to that from this genre. All in all, it’s a good time being bad.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

”ULTIMATE” IS ANOTHER WORD FOR “BALLS TOUGH”

Fans of the old school side scrollers be far warned; the master is back. The GHOSTS N GOLBINS series is notorious for being amazingly fun and amazingly difficult all at the same time, and its newest entry in the series, ULTIMATE GHOSTS N GOBLINS for the PSP is no different. It’s a fine example of what gaming has been before, and what it should always be. Entertaining, challenging and a great looking game.

Once again taking the mantle of Arthur, the knight in the boxers, you set out to rescue the fair Princess Prin Prin who once again finds herself captured by nefarious baddies. Arthur must run, jump and battle all the gruesome ghoulies across the countryside in an updated form of the classic games of old. In what is quickly becoming known as “2.5D”, two dimensional characters are being set against three dimensional backgrounds in a cool mesh of graphics that really look well on the handheld console (seen also with Capcom’s MEGA MAN X: MAVERICK HUNTER).

This newest game updates the look with 2.5D, but the gameplay is wholly GNG. Arthur collects power-ups and new weapons, all the while fighting uglies and trying not to lose his armor and fighting in his skivvies. They’ve added a few new tricks to his repertoire, such as the ability to (finally) throw attack is just about any direction (not just forward, but above and below you as well), adding a shield (which degenerates over time) and magic attacks as well. Arthur can also grab ledges and climb up or drop down from overhangs as well. His arsenal of moves is increased by new weapons types (like boomerang scythes and multi-shot crossbows) and magic attacks.

And while there’s a wide variety of skills at his disposal, they still haven’t corrected the series main flaw. Arthur still has trouble jumping and running at the same time. Still, control is tweaked enough that this isn’t a huge problem. Never will you find a moment of holding still as you constantly roam the levels, killing everything in sight and running toward the end goal. The three selectable skill levels (Novice, Standard and Ultimate) all offer unique challenges for the familiar and unfamiliar to tackle, and Ultimate will truly challenge those who’ve even conquered the previous entries with ease.

For old school fans, this one is a no brainer. It’s quality gaming with and old school feel and a new school look. New moves, classic gameplay and all around amazing adventure. A must own.

One Gamer’s Opinion:

Strange how this week’s reviews worked out, eh? One emulates and outright copies one game, and one pays homage to another, while actually being a legitimate sequel. Imitation IS the sincerest form of flattery, even when you’re imitating yourself, I guess.

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